Hunting Daze (2024)

[bunniefuu]

Hey, you two

Hey.

Thanks so much for coming.

You're so sweet.

My pleasure.

Do you have the gas?

Yeah, in the truck.

Hey.

Good thing you got me on the road.

Service sucks at the cabin.

I know. This place is dead!

Wait. You gotta leave me my spare.

Thanks.

Hey, man.

Didn't you see the sign?

Said no station for a while.

Yeah, but sweet little Mike

never finished high school,

so he has trouble reading

the fuel gauge.

Do you ever shut up?

f*cking wh*re.

What did I tell you, f*ck?

Don't talk to me that way. Got it?

Shut the f*ck up with your

little princess rules and shitty attitude.

It's you and your shitty schemes.

$100!

I don't do sh*t for $100!

I'm not a wh*re.

Who cares if you don't give head for $100,

or you dance for $300,

or massage for $15,000?

A wh*re is a wh*re!

I'm a wh*re.

He's a wh*re. She's a wh*re.

And you're just a f*cking wh*re like us.

Where do you think you're going?

Nobody touches me like that, got it?

Nobody!

Give me my cash,

give him some gas money,

and f*ck off!

What do you mean, your cash?

Joe owns your clothes, your phone,

and your ugly f*cking face!

Oh yeah?

You crazy b*tch.

Let's go, girls.

We're out of here.

You better not show your face

in Montreal for a while.

'Cause Joe's gonna be f*cking pissed!

What was that?

Relax, man!

I don't need you.

Just get me to the bus station,

and I'll be fine.

What bus station?

You went a bit far

to rely on the bus, girl.

The bus doesn't come till Friday, I think.

- What are you talking about?

- You're in buttfuck nowhere.

You'd best believe

not much comes through here.

Can I stay with you guys?

Well, no.

I don't think the guys will be into it.

It's a hunting cabin.

So?

It's not for girls.

Your hunting buddies didn't seem

to mind girls the other night.

For real, I'm in deep sh*t.

For real?

Thank you.

That'll teach you to give

your number to a stripper.

Hop in!

HUNTING DAZE

Well, well

Sleeping Beauty has graced us

with her presence.

Oh boy! He looks like sh*t.

You guys are f*cking idiots.

I woke up in the woods, man.

Stop.

Does your butt hurt?

Yeah, apparently,

there are bears around here.

f*ck off. I swear I saw a bear.

f*ck! Fine, spank me.

Spank! Spank! Spank!

His a*s has gotta be red by now.

What's she doing here?

That's Kevin.

Our national social worker

brought us another lost soul.

A damsel in distress.

I can hear you guys.

She speaks!

Yeah, she speaks.

Excuse me, miss.

And watch out

This is gonna be fun.

We were just talking about you.

- Oh yeah?

- Yeah.

OK! Everyone's here.

We can take a vote.

This is a democracy, you know.

And because we want to be transparent

we're gonna blindfold you.

I don't think so.

Don't be a wimp.

You guys are so annoying.

f*ck.

Gentlemen, as masters of this cabin,

your thumbs shall decide the fate

of this young virgin asking for our help.

Mr. Kevin

Vote now or forever hold your peace.

We can't leave her in the woods.

What a d*ck!

- You're such an as*h*le!

- You're a jerk.

Guys, I said yes.

And here we thought

you had a heart of gold.

Don't worry. We're not all jerks like him.

I swear, I said yes.

Hey, you had your turn. Too late.

And now

the great, wise, the one and only

Oh boy.

Claude!

That's gonna go to his head.

It's a bachelor party.

Lucky girl!

- Now, that's hospitality!

- Welcome.

See? Chivalry isn't dead.

Yeah, sure. This is total bullshit.

No, no.

And now, the bride!

Come on, bro.

- LP! LP! LP!

- Stop, stop!

I have a big heart. Stop it.

And now, the great philosopher

Well, the philosopher anyway.

Thank you.

Philippe!

Seriously?

Two-two.

Sorry, sweetie! The forest ain't

big enough for the two of us.

I'll remember this.

So will I.

And the deciding vote

Because I believe in peoples rights

to self-determination

- Bullshit!

- You never said that, man!

Because I believe in peoples rights

to self-determination

I am willing to give Nina my vote

You can't do that!

if

she agrees to live like a wolf

with the wolves

according to the laws of the pack.

And if she agrees to pass

the initiation.

What initiation?

I don't do sh*t I don't want to do.

Don't worry.

The initiation isn't the worst part.

The worst is that if you join the pack

it's for life and death.

If we don't stick together, we're dead.

The laws of nature rule here.

If you're part of the group,

you live and die for the group.

That means you do what we do,

eat what we eat,

you drink what we drink

and you carry yourself

like a man.

Well said.

If you're ready to

face your destiny and join

the best

- The best.

- No one better.

to survive

to survive the worst

your fate is in your hands.

If sh*t gets weird,

I'm getting the f*ck out.

If sh*t gets weird

Do we look like a bunch of weirdos?

Anyway, I thought you had

nowhere to go.

f*ck you!

Last call! Five, four, three, two, one

Initiation!

You gotta sh**t her.

You dropped it! You dropped it!

Come on, Bern!

We were feeling it!

That song was cool, man!

What?

I dropped the egg.

Oh man, the egg.

You ruined everything.

I know.

Everything is f*cked!

Can I stay anyway?

No.

Please?

Forever?

You should put that stuff away.

I had a bad dream.

All right

The witch had an omen.

I'm hungry.

Well, quit bumming around and come.

You have to learn

to use your hunger.

That's the rule here.

If you don't hunt, you don't eat.

It's like at the grocery store,

except the shelves are the forest.

Every little packet of meat you buy

is a m*rder by proxy.

Every time you distance yourself

from the act of k*lling,

you become more heartless.

Having real heart

means looking your prey in the eye

before sh**ting,

knowing what you're taking

and giving in life

and doing it anyway.

k*lling

has an irreversible impact

on the rest of your life.

It'll give you thirst.

The thirst to live,

but the thirst to k*ll too.

Come.

It's super peppery.

But it's not toxic?

It's not toxic, it's inedible.

I'm trying to focus.

Where's the buck at?

Shut the f*ck up!

- We're hunting.

- Shut up, man.

We're gonna lose one.

You're gonna lose your boot!

Stop it, guys.

We're trying to help you.

In your face!

I want Bern.

Not you again!

I got the bride.

Hey, six hunts, and nothing.

Yeah, man! I got the best one.

Come on, Mack!

Won't be long.

Mack, come. Come here, boy!

Yeah.

Grab the little crust here.

Start high, then go low.

This isn't a strip club.

Yeah.

I didn't say anything.

m*therf*ckers!

You k*lled?

I k*lled!

- You didn't break a nail?

- Not even.

g*dd*mn!

Claude!

What's your partner doing with the car?

What?

- Oh, Kev.

- Yes, Kev.

Classic Kev.

He smoked too much

and got the paranoid munchies, as usual.

Then he needed to get some air,

as he put it.

In a car?

I told you to practice your call, boys.

You called a migrant.

Hey, guys.

Everyone, this is Dudos.

Dudos, this is everyone.

It's my new friend, Dudos.

Can you please tell me why you

picked up another welfare case?

The dude was in the middle of the road.

I wasn't gonna run him over!

Of course not.

Hey, you f*cked up the hood of the car.

- Did I do that?

- Yeah.

You're a real champion.

I don't remember how it happened.

Dudos, the accident,

the joint he rolled with God knows what

I've never smoked anything like it.

Then the rabbit on the road

- Stop!

- I swear.

A rabbit did that?

A f*cking huge rabbit!

I never saw him. I freaked out!

I hit him. His teeth

I told you, Kev, watch the neurons.

He was f*cking huge!

We lost Kev for good. We lost him.

OK, enough chit-chat.

What do we do with him?

We're not savages.

We invite him to dinner.

We're good people.

We're gonna fatten you up.

You bet. We're gonna stuff him!

Yeah!

I beg your pardon? Stuff him?

We'll stuff him to the brim!

The king is dead. A goose is born!

The king is dead

A goose is born!

The king is dead. A goose is born!

Initiation!

You blinked! 5-2.

You're getting your a*s kicked, buddy!

Go on, take your sip. Shut your mouth.

Ready?

Why'd you hit so hard? f*cking psycho!

You're such a d*ck.

My jeans!

I'll get you. Come back here!

Come on! I bet $20 on you, Nina.

Don't f*ck this up for me.

We're hunting partners!

Here.

What are you doing?

You have to flirt with danger to win.

Platoon, deer!

Who's the k*ller?

Platoon, march!

Left

LP, come on!

My g*n is clean.

OK, I'm sorry!

That's not the question.

The respect of weapons is a principle.

Defeat!

Oh my God! Hit him!

f*cking do something!

I'm trying, man!

Watch out!

Yeah, Bern!

I think I'm OK, guys!

I'm OK!

I was scared I was gonna die!

If anybody's wondering what

a bunch of clowns in the woods look like

Watch out, there's a step.

Quick, quick.

Careful! Don't drop him!

Help me. It's gonna be OK.

I didn't do it on purpose.

Help me.

Kev, deal with LP.

I checked the g*n, man.

We know.

Come. Stay with us. Breathe.

Calm down.

- We're going to the hospital.

- What if he dies?

He's not gonna die!

Can you stitch him back up?

I'm a vet, not a doctor!

You have to help us help you.

My job I can't go to jail.

You won't.

He's not gonna die.

We're taking you to the hospital.

No hospital.

No hospital?

No hospital.

What do you mean, no?

He doesn't want to go.

We can't let him die here.

He doesn't wanna go.

Why not?

Let go of me!

He doesn't want to go

to the hospital!

He tossed the f*cking keys.

- What?

- He tossed the keys. What the f*ck, LP?

Jesus Christ!

Bring him inside.

It's gonna be OK.

Stay with us.

You're OK.

It's gonna be OK.

Don't let go.

It's literally like looking for

a needle in a haystack.

Whose shitty idea was it

to make a keychain out of a pinecone?

Some dude who's as stupid

as the one who had the brilliant idea

to toss it in the woods.

OK, enough messing around.

He won't find the f*cking keys alone.

Nina, what did we say?

You do what we do.

What are we doing?

Nothing.

Yeah, nothing, that's right.

Until LP finds the keys.

Enough with your childishness.

What's the rush?

Did you find another g*ng of bozos

to take you in until the bus?

Don't worry.

Find the keys, and I'll figure it out.

Firstly

Dudos doesn't want to move.

Right, Dudos?

There.

Second, we won't send him back to the bush

till we know he's OK.

Third, it's in

no one's best interest

to go blabbing

about our drunken shenanigans.

So as long as everything's OK,

we stick together

and man up.

You guys are f*cked up.

f*ck yeah! I found 'em!

Seriously?

Good job, bro!

No!

f*cking guy!

It's a buck.

Jesus f*ck!

Your faces You thought

you were gonna k*ll huge bucks!

Are you crazy?

They're just pellets.

It f*cking stings!

We could have shot at you!

Been there.

This is the story of a man.

A powerful man.

A man who took

A man who took everything.

A man who made his fellow men suffer.

They cried out in pain

with all their might.

And like many a time

in the history of man

his fortune changed.

Everything was taken from him.

And he cried out too.

With each step

with each cry

he understood his stupidity, his cupidity.

He had a lot to learn,

a lot to repair.

So he walked and cried a lot.

But what's irreparable

cannot be repaired.

Vengeance.

Mother Nature is the one

and only redeemer.

So he offered himself to her

in all her strength

to the north, the great north.

Nothing left to lose,

everything to give.

And She is giving this man to you.

This is your chance.

Will you be stronger than her?

It's literally like looking for

a needle in a haystack.

Whose shitty idea was it

to make a keychain out of a pinecone?

Ah, the lady has awoken from her nap.

Hey, the keys won't find themselves!

Hey, where were you?

You shouldn't go off in the woods alone.

We were worried.

We were about to send out

a search party.

You can't go in there.

LP and Dudos are doing a thing.

We were worried!

Where's the car?

The car?

The car that was parked here.

What car?

Yeah, what car?

You OK, sweetie?

I didn't know we had a car.

Me either.

I think she's going

The tension is starting to rise.

Kev. The car you brought me here in.

Where is it?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Are you sure there was a car here?

I'm not sure there was.

Don't take it like that, sweetie.

We're joking.

We're just messing around.

We found the keys.

We just hid the car as a joke.

There's no problem.

What was that?

I can't see.

I don't know what he gave me.

I can't see.

It's all dark. It's stuck.

- I can't see.

- LP, I'm gonna open your eyes.

No, stay away!

Open my eyes, and I'll k*ll you!

Tell him

Tell him to give me my sight back.

I need my eyes back.

Give me back my sight, OK?

Give it back, please.

Just my eyes.

I'm sorry.

It's me.

It's my fault.

It's my fault, OK? I'm sorry.

I can see.

I can see.

Come.

Come. Everyone come.

Come.

Come, everyone.

I don't know about you guys

but I gotta try this sh*t!

You were so weird, bro!

My teeth

How long were we asleep?

Phil

I'm sorry, Philippe.

Why didn't we hear anything?

Why didn't we hear anything?

I don't know.

What is this f*cking nightmare

we've been trapped in since he got here?

What kind of f*cking curse

did he put on us?

Where the f*ck is he?

Wait!

Phil, calm down, man!

Those in favor of going to the hospital,

raise your hand.

It's too late anyway.

That's beside the point.

We can't let him die here

without doing anything.

Those who think that's an option,

raise your hand.

What's your brilliant plan?

You gonna have the guts

to sh**t him like Mack?

Do you have some other genius idea

no one else thought of?

Or are you out of options?

There's no perfect solution.

There's just

a lesser evil.

It's not without consequences

but it's the lesser evil

for most of the people involved.

And because the consequences are serious

we have to act as one.

Every one of us has to agree.

I'll ask you to take some time

to think about it

and decide if the lesser evil

is the solution you choose.

Raise your hand to say yes

when you're ready.

Nina?

Remember your promise?

There's no turning back.

Does everyone understand that?

I think everyone will agree

it's up to LP

to get us out of the mess

he got us in.

What?

Bernard

I can't do it.

I won't be able to.

Not me.

I mean

I'm getting married in two weeks.

Guys

LP

No one here will do it for you.

That depends.

Depends on what?

Depends how much you're willing to pay.

Nina

Don't f*ck around.

How much?

$20,000?

You're gonna have to do better than that.

Nina

Didn't you teach me

to use my hunger, Bernard?

I'm starting to get pretty f*cking hungry.

$30,000?

LP

I'm not doing this for your pretty face.

It's gotta be worth it.

$50,000?

That's the highest I can go.

I can play the wh*re once more, once less.

But we're all in this together.

No turning back, like Bernard said.

A pack until the end.

How many of you heartless f*ck do I

have to sh**t to get us to a hospital?

Nina

I'm not in the mood

for one of your shitty metaphors.

We didn't even have to do anything.

He went peacefully.

He went peacefully.

I held his hand.

Now this can go two ways.

Either we leave you here,

all alone with your principles.

Or you promise

to come back to your senses

and we give you a ride somewhere.

Somewhere with at least

a few cars passing by.

What do you say?

How do you know it'll stop there?

I mean, if you think about it

What are you gonna say? To who?

"Hello, officer.

"I was turning tricks up north.

"We shot a guy. We fixed him.

Got high.

He died. I was against it."

I don't think they'll believe you.

If you were a lawyer

or an accountant, maybe,

but even then

But you

We don't want to leave you here.

We wouldn't get over it.

Deal?

Deal.

It's gonna be OK.