01x09 - Road Ravens

[bunniefuu]

foreign

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hey out there

chicago who put this in chinatown

dudes it's muay quiet outside

no traffic

no crowds

no lines at the gas pumps

looks like all those gas truck

hijackings are taking the wind out of

the windy city

it's all such a mellow vibe i thought

maybe we just tripped away with a little

easy listening new age meditation music

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yes

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beetlejuice

you better smoke them i will never hear

the end of this no sweat part nobody

beats me at brodies and bottles whoa

did you check my skin man i can't

believe charlie missed out on such a

monumental triumph she had to pick up

more gas yeah even though you seem to be

pumping plenty yourself

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smoked ah just cause i cleared the track

for you

tell it to charlie here comes the lady

now cool

then once you get here i'll take another

shot and mister

charlie ain't in it nobody's driving

moto better book bro

oh my engine

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ah

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this

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[Applause]

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oh man charlie

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you got your pieces intact big fella

some hero you are

you saved my life but busted my leg i

don't know whether to hug you or get you

i'd rather have either than be peeling

you off the wall

oh

how about that throttle it's vinnie he's

hurt

is it bad i think it's a broken arm but

we have to get out of here if that gas

truck blows don't sweat it charlie girl

check it out

it's dry as a bone

but it was full when i left the depot

yeah well the only thing it's full of

now is mystery what the heck happened i

i don't know

when i hit i-80 everything was cool

nobody on the road but me then all of a

sudden this weird 18 wheeler pulls up

and i hear a thump in the back

i look out my window and there's this

black 4x4 on my tail and this guy

wearing a hood leans out with some kind

of gas g*n

that's all i can remember my bandana

that was my lucky bandanna i never got

wiped when i had my lucky bandana

newsflash bro i think the warranty ran

out besides you'd have been really upset

if i'd used your pants but

my bandana you're just lucky i earned a

brownie merit badge in first aid

oh and i almost forgot

thanks for saving my life

now hold still

this is just temporary till we can get a

cast on you a cast not i can't look

studly in a sling

oh mama ah quit your raven

hey wait a minute

the 4x4 had a picture of a raven on the

side there's the big piece in the puzzle

then

that's who did it the road ravens

now they started tagging up this town

about the same time as the hijacking

started

well it's time to get busy guys these

road ravens are bad news

i mean they miss my town

they miss my friends

let me tell you something froze they're

messing with the wrong mouse

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finally you vectors failures have come

up with something useful

i am so pleased to approve your extruded

ferment

approve

ah carbuncle we have cleverly created a

method with which to supply plutarch

enough gas for the next hundred years

and in addition we have brought all the

traffic in chicago to a complete stop

thus reducing smog

yeah

let us face it gentlemen i'm not only a

genius but maybe even a civic hero

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always look both ways before crossing

the street no one will suspect i'm

behind the hijacking they'll all blame

the road ravens

get your hands off my

be sure to treat this tanker with tender

care it's going to make me plutarch's

most popular patron

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sleep gas fired

let's go get the fuel

hey what gives that tank is empty hi

boys remember me

sorry ravens we're out of gas but i got

something just as expl*sive

let's pluck these birds bro it's time to

rock and ride

hey birdie boys hope this don't ruffle

your feathers

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dang it if it weren't for this bum leg a

kick to spit out of that guzzling gas

hog

listen up ravens i got a couple of

points i want to make

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these canaries won't be chirping for a

while sorry bros i laid an egg the other

one got clean away hey don't sweat it

moto maybe we lost the truck but they

lost a couple of drivers

and they're gonna need new blood

you mean

bingo bro

we are gonna transfuse them

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oh

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shut up the word on the street is you

guys ran into a little bad luck and need

yourselves a driver yeah

you any good

he's the best oh yeah hey

you're not gonna disagree with my lady

friend here are you

we'll see tough guy you want the job you

get it the same way we did

cool

well

obviously the requirements aren't real

high where do i apply here's the

application chump

if you live

you get the job

good working conditions good co-workers

sounds like a good job even comes with

six turkeys for a christmas bonus

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now before i sign on i still got a few

questions

i mean we haven't even talked about paid

vacation

oh yeah and what kind of dental plan do

you guys offer

be true to your teeth whoa

or they'll be false

to you

excuse me i believe these are yours

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that's a big 10-4 sweet georgie over and

out

hey buddies just got a request over the

cb for eight days with the load by the

long hauls

yes it's a dangerous vibe so you guys be

careful out there bros ain't a gas truck

made it past those hijackers yet and i

need all the fans i can get

yeah we want those road runs to try

something we're bait well what you

writing moto good buddy trucker twin

something cool nothing blue you copy

it's from the bottom of my heart bro

ah

to vinnie who broke this arm trying to

pat himself on the back get better soon

so true so true that's low bro oh yeah

you complained after you did this with a

permanent marker in red

what's wrong with get well soon from

your hero mini

look i'm just telling it like it is

ow

heavy message bro

oh

sorry

must have slipped

man this is boring moto how come

throttle gets to have all the fun

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geez you're an ugly one hey my mother

like cheese okay what's your excuse uggo

nobody does that to me you lousy

boys boys

can't we all just get along huh i like

your style charlie just taking out the

trash don't you think you're over

playing the role just a little hey i

could get into this

so do i get the gig or what first you

gotta meet up for us jimmy mack

round two huh well i'm ready whenever

little jimmy is

hey

is this place on a fault line say what

did i hear you call me

little hey what's that

ah

hey i

could have sworn there was a fly on your

chin there jim

i love a good joke

i think he likes you must be my lucky

day

i like you you're a gutsy little guy and

i want you working for me

hey

whatever you want done

i'll make it happen oh you bet you will

if you want to stay healthy

oh he does he does he's a real health

freak good then it's all settled i'll

give you the tour and explain the setup

you picked a wonderful day to sign on

because today is payday

i love payday

when are you going to build me another

counterfeiting machine

i did build one your fragrant ripeness

bread the mutant

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that malformed mutant is making me spend

my own money

well then since you're responsible for

this repellent reptile i'll deduct it

from your pay

he can't deduct it from my pay because i

don't get paid

hey how come i don't get paid my safety

patience is payment enough

now shut up and take that bag

i love that

take the payment to jimmy mack and

instruct him to have the gasoline ready

for shipment tomorrow night this time

tomorrow all of plutoc will hail me as

the man who gave them gas

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man

if i don't see some action soon i'm

gonna fade away

whoa check out what's coming

where's that wrench head rushing off to

more to the point professor where do you

get that fuel for that gas-guzzling

hockey ride hey what say we scoop it out

bro

this here's the road sucker greatest

little high jacking machine ever built

you just pull up next to a gas truck and

check

dawn in 60 seconds i get the point hey

what's she doing here

she's with my new man oil face

yeah well i smell a rat

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i don't like being called a rat

yeah that's just fine

ain't it because you're not gonna be

anything much longer

you know i always kind of wondered if i

could squeeze the life out of someone

let's say we call this a gimme okay

i wonder if you'll go pop or just go

squish what do you think honey

i think you better not call me honey

when i get done with you there won't be

enough to feed the cat

what

is this

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[Applause]

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well i hate to crash a party but you

know what they say

you can't make an omelet without

breaking a few raven eggs

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go on guys i've gotta

get my bike throttle

give him space just get in the truck

it's a guy thing okay

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nobody whacks jimmy mack

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hey baby you know i'd never leave you

here now

show these losers how a real lady walks

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well i got some good news and some

bummer news the good news is throttle's

right behind us and the b*mber news

the road sucker's right behind throttle

charlie would you mind taking the wheel

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under my wheels

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and gentlemen

it's time to take this show

on the road

watch me make mouse

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stay with me

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now blast them over there

maybe when we get to a restaurant

hey

two more nuclear mice but it don't

matter none

nothing can get through this truck's

hide

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quit hugging the fun bro

let's total this turkey

just what i had in mind boys catch

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hey what the heck they doing

who cares they won't be doing it along

oh you're gonna like this trick moto

it's the mother of all brodies

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yeah throttle baby you're still the best

and your aim's perfect

right on target

and i assure you lord canada there will

be no problem in delivering the gas no

problem

[Applause]

i hate when this happened

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all right

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you guys ever think of getting into a

new line of work hmm

flop brody

nice stop

i don't know about our futures charlie

but yours sure isn't with the bolshoi

ballet babe on me

nice plie

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you