01x10 - A Pain in the Back

[bunniefuu]

[ Piano playing ]

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-[ Crying ]

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Mm? [ Gasps ]

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-[ Chuckles ]

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[ Film reel rolling ]

[ "Love is Entropy"
plays in Japanese ]

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-When are you gonna
take that stupid thing off?

-Huh?
-I know you're obsessed

with the power,
but it's an eyesore.

-I'm not getting
a signal here.

Wish I could see the news

because I bet we're
on every channel.

-Sorry to burst your bubble,

but nobody got any footage
of you in action, Summer.

-Oh.

Oh.

Oh.
-Mm.

-Please put some clothes on,
Dad.

-Oh, yeah.

-Okay, let's have
something to eat.

Summer, can you grab us
some plates?

-[ Sighs ]

-How do you think
Morty is handling it?

-[ Sighs ] Well,
he's pretty heartbroken.

I know it must be rough,

but let's give him some time
to heal his heart.

-Yeah. Good point.

Time is one thing
we have a lot of.

I reprogrammed this game helmet

to simulate the
best possible life for you.

It might not provide
much solace,

but give it a shot anyway.

-[ Groaning ]

It's so stupid.

[ Groans ]

Oh, geez.

-Hold on, Morty.
I'm not done.

-Hmm.
Now, listen here.

Your prejudice towards other
people's diets is just proof

that you don't even know
what you're actually eating.

-Dating the best guy in school
has benefits, pretty girl.

-I'd never date you
under any circumstances.

-You need to open your heart

in order to find a truly
sustainable --

Huh?
-Hey, Toby!

-That's just rude.

-Uh...what do you want?

-Cut it out, man.
She's clearly not interested.

-[ Laughs ]

Don't try to show off
by playing hero,

or I'll make sure you never
come to school again, loser.

-[ Whimpers ]

-[ Chuckles ]

[ Gasps ]

Uh...

Well, Morty...
[ Chuckles ]

I guess I'll admit
you've got some ba*ls.

You're off the hook...for today.

-Hi, I'm Elle.

And you are?

-M-M-My -- My name's Morty.

-Thank you, Morty.

Everyone else was pretending
to look the other way.

-Honestly, I was, too,
you know?

But something gave me courage
to call out Toby's crap.

[ Whimpers ]

-[ Chuckles ]

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[ Baby crying ]

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[ Helmet buzzes ]

-Are you kidding me?

There's only two doors
on this heap.

Plus there's no roof.

-Well, sir, it is a convertible,
so, you know...

-Look, this one has four doors
and a roof,

selling for just $800.

How about $300 for this bad boy?

-What?
-Sounds fair, right?

-[ Whimpers ] Not really.

-Better get
the paperwork ready

and consider yourself lucky.

-Excuse me,
are you Mr. Morty Smith?

-[ Gasps ]

Do you remember --
-I remember you.

I could never forget you.

So, um, Frank.
-Wow. I can't believe it.

I'm surprised
that you remembered me.

-How did you know
I was working here?

-All it took was
a little bit of research online.

I've actually known
for a long time now.

-Huh?

-But I wasn't going to come.

Not until I had turned myself
into a man who's worthy of you.

To that end,
I have filled my worth

and become a
very successful businessman,

which means, Morty,

I can now make any wish
of yours come true.

-[ Whimpers ]

-Would you care
to work at my company?

I can offer you a position
and salary

that's more than worthwhile.

-Uh...

I just can't.
-Huh?

-I have to apologize.

Things are different.
I'm a married man now.

I even have a young daughter.

So, you see,
I can't be...with you.

[ Knock on door ]

-Just get over it, loser!

She's not coming --

Huh?
-[ Groans ]

-Grandpa!

-That little sh*t.
He already broke the damn thing.

-What the hell is happening
to him?

-Don't touch the headset,
Summer.

If we take it off Morty now,

then there's a chance
he'll never come back.

-[ Gasps ]

-He's not in the world
I programmed for him.

Morty's consciousness
has separated

and drifted
into another dimension.

So, right now, he's living
the life of a different Morty.

Don't worry.
We're gonna save him.

-I've got your back, Grandpa.

-Forget the g*ns.

We're gonna use
the headset's records

to figure out exactly
which universe Morty is in

and then recall
his consciousness.

But we got to move fast.

We don't know what's happening
in the other universe,

or even if it has the same
flow of time.

Aaah!
If Morty's already dead

on the other side, then there's
no bringing him back.

-Ah, you're gonna be the death
of this dealership.

-Huh?

-I'm sorry, kid,
but you can't work here anymore.

-Well, that was just one time.

-Here's a week's worth of pay.

Now take it and get out.

No hard feelings.

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[ Door closes ]

-Daddy!
-I'm home!

-Welcome back, Daddy.
-Hey, Maria. Daddy missed you.

-Welcome home, honey.

Seems you're
a little late today.

-Oh, geez. Sorry.

-But good timing.
Dinner is ready.

-Mm.

-What's that?
-Nothing.

Don't worry about it, kiddo.

[ Doorbell rings ]
-Hmm?

Well, who could that be?

-Ah. Mnh-mnh.

[ Blows ]

-Morty, someone's at the door
for you.

-Frank?
-I'm sorry I came on too strong.

I'm not here to press the issue.
-Uh...

-You can forget about
what I was saying earlier.

If this is what you really want,

then I promise to leave
and never come back again.

It's just...

I wanted to say goodbye to you
in person.

It was great to see you again,
Morty.

Goodbye.

-Uh... [ Groans ]

Wait, Frank.
Don't leave.

-I'm sorry, Frank.

I know it's not
a very fancy meal.

-I don't mind at all.

In fact,
I was downright famished.

Thank you.

I'm so glad you could come,
Morty.

-Whoa!

Oh, geez. So, this entire
building belongs to you?

-[ Chuckles ] Actually,
more than just this one.

Out of all the buildings
that you can see from here,

the four tallest ones all
belong to me.

And, well,
they also now belong to you.

-Huh?

-[ Sighs ]

-If you gave everyone
two cookies each,

and there are five people...

So, how many cookies
did you give out?

-Frank is quite the gentleman,

and he seems to be
very fond of you.

-You think so, huh?

We're -- I'm not sure
about that.

-10 cookies.
-That's right!

You're so smart, Maria.
-[ Giggles ]

-Actually, Frank stopped by
this afternoon.

-Huh?

-He said his company
is buying up that house

and we should consider
moving into it.

It's much larger than ours.

Hmm?

Morty?

-But this is our house, Elle.

I mean, it's where
we raised Maria.

-Uh...

-We've made so many precious
memories here in this house.

No, no.

Mnh-mnh.

You want to throw that all away?

-[ Gasps ]

Hmm.

I'm sorry.

You make a good point.

-[ Whimpers ]

-It's okay.

-Mm?

[ Laughter ]

-You must be Mr. Frank.

Maria's mother told us you would
be stopping by this afternoon.

-Thank you. I happen to have
an opening in my day.

-You're a famous name
around these parts.

It's a great honor
to meet you in person.

[ Violin playing ]

She practices like this
every day after school.

To encourage this talent,

we need to get her
a professional tutor.

-[ Sobbing ]

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-Keep your nose out of this!

-[ Gasps ]

-I'll buy it
when she needs it.

Maria is my daughter.

-I swear, I didn't mean
to step on your toes.

Sorry.

[ Grunts ]

I'm sorry. Excuse me.

-Frank.

-[ Sobbing continues ]

-[ Whimpers ]

-That was uncalled for, Morty.

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-[ Groans ]

Huh?

-I'm sorry
that I hurt your feelings.

-Christ, I can't do a single
good thing for Elle and Maria.

[ Whimpers ]

It's impossible
for me to be like you.

-[ Sighs ]

Those two need you more
than anything right now.

Listen, I won't visit
your family anymore.

So, please,
go back home to them, Morty.

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[ Knock on door ]

-Hmm?
-Pardon me.

There's a little girl here
looking for you

who seems to be in trouble,
Mr. Frank.

-Huh?

-[ Sobbing ]
-Maria!

-It's Mommy.

Mommy's hurt!

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-A build-up of stress
and anxiety

caused her to collapse.

-[ Crying softly ]

-It's going to be okay now,
Maria.

Listen, your mom will feel
all better once she wakes up.

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-We don't got all damn day.
Hurry your a*s up!

-Study overseas?

But we don't have
that kind of money.

-Don't worry about the money,
Morty.

I want to give Maria the chance
to reach her potential.

-We're not using your money,
Frank.

You're not her father.
If I have to, then I --

-This is a time of her life
she can never get back.

Refuse all you want,

but this is the one thing
I'm going to do.

You can't call yourself
her father

if you never go home to her.

-[ Whimpers ]

-[ Gasps ]

I'm sorry, I didn't mean --

-[ Groans ]

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Listen, I just...

All I ever wanted was for you
to finally be happy.

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-None of this would have been
possible without you.

I can't thank you enough, Frank.

-But my actions left
a scar on your family.

That will never go away.

I mean, Morty is --
-Never mind that.

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We couldn't wish
for any more than this.

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[ Applause ]

-[ Sighs ]

The performance has ended, sir.

-[ Sobbing ]

-[ Gasps ]

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-[ Whimpers ]

-[ Gasps ]

-[ Gasps ]

-Maria!
-[ Laughs ]

Daddy!

[ Laughing ]

-I had found real happiness,

but I was on the verge
of letting it all go

over something as stupid
as jealousy.

-But this was all born
out of the love in your heart.

I've never regretted
anything about my life

since the day that I met you.

-Thank you.

♪♪

Let's all live together
as a family.

And, of course,
that includes you too, Frank.

What do you say?

-I'm home.

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-Daddy?

Daddy?!

-Morty!

-Morty?

-Daddy!

-Aaah!

-Welcome back. Morty!

-Wow, that was freaking close.

-What's happening?
I was just --

-I don't know what you saw,

but it was all a dream,
so forget it.

And this thing.

There.
Now things are back to normal.

Time to go on a new adventure,
Morty.

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-I wish I could just stay
with you like this forever.

-We don't know what
the future holds in store.

Since there's no real reason
to our existence

in the first place.

-Huh?

-But, despite that,
I want to stay with you, too.

Whether you're dead or alive,

I want to be by your side
forever, Morty.

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-In this world
devoid of meaning,

doing what we can
to live our lives to the fullest

is the most precious
and meaningful thing there is.

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-Huh?

-Wha--

-Huh?

-Huh?

-What the hell?

[ Alarm blares ]
-What is this?

-Ooh!
-Oh, no!

-Oh, God! We're under attack!

-Ah, hell, yeah!

Squash these bug b*tches!

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-My word.

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-Aaah!

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-[ Groans ]
-What?

You're kicking a*s, newbie!

-Hmm.

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-[ Groans ]
-[ Groans ]

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-Thanks for the assist.

I'm Morty.
-I'm Elle.

And it's nice to meet you,
Morty.