04x09 - Sammy's Song/Permanent Record

[bunniefuu]

[THEME SONG PLAYING]

Who's that girl? What's her name?
Is she cool? Is she lame?

Oh, you're talking about what's her name

Pepper Ann! Pepper Ann!
Is she lame? Is she cool?

Is she breaking every rule?
Is she anybody's fool?

-Pepper Ann! Pepper Ann!
-Pepper Ann! Pepper Ann!

Marching in her own parade

Pepper Ann, she's like one in a million

Pepper Ann! Pepper Ann!
Much too cool for seventh grade

Catch her if you can, Pepper Ann!

MALE VOICE: Who?

FEMALE VOICE:
Is that that girl from gym class?

MALE VOICE: No, that's me.

FEMALE VOICE: Oh, who is she and why
does she have her own song?

MALE VOICE: Did someone take my lunch?

Pepper Ann! Pepper Ann!
Marching in her own parade

Pepper Ann, she's like one in a million!

Pepper Ann! Pepper Ann!

Much too cool for seventh grade
No one's cooler than Pepper Ann!

-She's her own biggest fan, Pepper Ann!
-Iceberg, dead ahead!

-Catch her if you can, Pepper Ann!
-[SHIP HORN BLARING]

[THEME SONG FADES]

Pyramid Peanut Butter,
Pyramid Peanut Butter,

peanut butter of the pharaohs!

One more batch for,
the Free Willy's Extended Family

bake sale, and then I... oop!

-Recycling day!
-Janie! Look at my T-shirt!

I'm wearing it in honor
of our Enviro-Mentals meeting tonight!

Pepper Ann, it isn't so simple
to think that recyclers are right

and non-recyclers are wrong.

You just can't tell these people
to kiss your can willy-nilly.

M... maybe you should change your shirt.

Aunt Janie, no offense,
but what I wear is really up to me.

-Not even my mom tells me...
-Change your shirt, Peppie.

-[ANIMAL SQUEALING]
-[GASPS]

-[SKUNK SQUEALING]
-[GASPS]

The skunks that happened
upon the deathtrap that was my recycling,

all lived to stink again
and how! [LAUGHS BREATHILY]

-But, others across the country...
-[GROANING]

...haven't been so lucky.

The tapered design allows PB hungry skunks
to poke their heads in discarded jars.

When they try to get it off,
their fur locks with the mouth of the jar

and the poor stinkers
walk around blind,

only to fall prey to predators
or pick-ups!

As Hazelnut's wildlife watchdogs,

we have a duty to stop this
peanutty abomination,

and convince Pyramid
to redesign their jars!

-GIRL 1: Good enough.
-BOY 1: Righteous.

Let's put a lid on the pyramid!

Hmm. [SQUEALS]

[GASPS]

-[HARD PELLETS RAINING]
-[SCREAMING]

[FAN SCREECHING]

We can't just condemn the public,
we have to inform them first!

I don't understand why we can't do
something a little more drastic.

[MARCHING MUSIC PLAYING]

Pyramid stinks, not the skunks!

-Pyramid stinks, not the skunks!
-[MARCHING MUSIC FADES]

These daring activists are capturing
the world's imagination!

Let's just give in to their demands!

-That is a great idea, Jeff.
-[CHILDREN CHANTING]

You're fired!

This company, this Pyramid PB company,

says they just wanna
sell some peanut spread, man!

Lemme tell 'ya something!

What they're selling
is k*lling skunks dead, man!

Pyramid stinks, not the skunks!

Pyramid stinks, not the skunks!

Pyramid stinks, not the skunks!

-Fine! Fine! I was wrong!
-[CHILDREN CHANTING]

I was wrong! Skunks matter! They matter!

Um, we want to convince the company
to change their policies

and we want people to rally behind us.
We want to make friends, not w*r.

But Janie! Pyramid Peanut Butter
is evil and must be destroyed.

Pepper Ann, they're not evil
and they shouldn't be destroyed.

It isn't so black and white.
Look at it this way.

[IN LOW-PITCHED VOICE]
Stealing a dog biscuit is wrong!

[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
Not stealing a dog biscuit is right!

[IN NORMAL VOICE]
But suppose the little doggie

was starving to death,
and didn't have any money

then, stealing the biscuit
would be a little wrong

but also a little right.

*And that's the way things often are...
Gray, look like me!

[MUNCHING]

Why don't you focus all that seething rage
into stuffing and sealing envelopes?

Today's shipment ready?

[GRUNTS] Fourteen days in a row,

-geez, how's that tongue doin'?
-[MUMBLES] Good.

FEMALE REPORTER:
Thanks to the Environ-Mentals,

all of Hazelnut now knows
about the skunks getting their heads stuck

in Pyramid Peanut Butter containers.

Tonight, a development,
the Pyramid Corporation

has introduced a new elastic,
skunk-safe container

that will allow skunks
to slip in and out, unharmed.

A happy ending
for the filthy striped vermin? Yes!

But the nightmare for gophers
is just beginning.

Experts say the new jar's flexibility
allows gophers to get their heads stuck.

We'll bring you updates
as this story develops.

Small Wonder ruled the airwaves,

gel toothpastes were introduced,
and a lasagna-loving cat hated Mondays!

Coming up, the Nutline Timeline.

MALE REPORTER: King Tut is nuts
for peanut butter!

Pyramid Peanut Butter!
And guess what? It's new and improved.

Extra chunks with no dead skunks!

What... about... the gophers?

I... huh?

Where's Janie?

Having an eucalyptus oil wrap
to get rid of the skunk stink.

They say you're supposed to bathe
in tomato juice

but she couldn't find any organic.

Did you hear 'bout the gophers?

Oh, I heard about the gophers.

My Environ-Mental friends!

Pyramid has slapped us in the face
and called us patsy.

This is the time to take some hard action!
Now who's with me?

But what about Janie?
Didn't she say we should be caref...

Caref? All we've been is "caref."

And what do we have to show for it?
Dead gophers.

This is black and white,
they're wack and we're right!

This is our chance to stop them
in their tracks

with something so bold,
so daring, so shocking

that they have no choice
but to instantly give in to our demands!

Like streaking at the next
Hazelnut Hazelbacks game?

-No!
-Like, finding out when the next shipment

of Pyramid PB is coming to Smileys,

grabbing it, and holding it
until they redesign their jars?

Yes!

-[TRUCK BEEPING]
-[TIRES SCREECH]

-[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
-[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

Yes, sir!

[TENSE MUSIC FADES]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[ROPE CREAKING]

Taking peanut butter that isn't yours?
Is this a good idea?

We're not taking it.
We're just holding it for a little while!

And we're doing this to stop the needless
slaughter of skunks and/or gophers!

[GRUNTS]

We took a vote and decided
you should have the privilege

of holding on to the peanut butter.

That's right, gone. A group
calling itself, "Skunk and Gopher Peace"

is claiming responsibility,

saying that, "The Pyramid product
will be returned when the company decides

"to make its containers animal-safe."

Meanwhile, Hazelnutians everywhere
are lashing out at Skunk and Gopher Peace.

We found three.

I own Mr. Moocow's
Smoopendus Smooothieshakes.

Our signature shake
is the Pyramid Peanut Parfait.

[WHIMPERS] I don't know what I'm gonna do.

I hate Skunk and Gopher Peace.

I can only eat the Pyramid.

Other peanut butters make me
physically sick.

Where am I supposed
to get my protein, huh?

The protein fairy?

I've been working on Peanutbutterponics,

the science of growing plants
using no soil, only peanut butter.

Skunks and gophers be danged.

I need my PB!

-Oop. [SNIFFS]
-Pepper Ann, have you heard?

-Heard?
-This Skunk and Gopher Peace!

They're destroying our cause! [WHIMPERS]
This is exactly what I was talking about!

People doing the wrong thing
because they think they're in the right!

-Yeah.
-Oh, oh, this might set us back years!

People think we anti-Pyramidteers
are fanatics!

How can we get them behind us now?

[IN SQUEAKY VOICE] I don't know.

Now, we may never convince Pyramid
to fix their design.

The deaths of thousands
of innocent gophers

could be on
Skunk and Gopher Peace's hands!

[IN SQUEAKY VOICE] Janie, I've got to go!

Where are you going? [SNIFFS]

Mm, didn't the eucalyptus wrap work?

PEPPER ANN: Um, everyone hates
Skunk And Gopher Peace.

-We bombed.
-Let's give it back!

No way! People who don't care
about animals

deserve to have
their peanut butter like, embargoed.

And if, we give it back, I mean,
some gophers are definitely gonna die.

What do you think we should do,
Pepper Ann?

PEPPER ANN:
It was wrong to take the peanut butter.

But, if we do the right thing
and give it back,

some animals are gonna die.

I mean, there's right,
like Heimliching someone choking,

and there's wrong, like, when Dieter tried
to turn his bedroom into a smokehouse,

-but...
-[WOMAN SCREAMING]

-[MAN LAUGHING]
-...so much of what goes on,

falls in between.

In between.

I wish life came with
a little instruction packet or something

just to warn you... wait.

Uh-huh, just to warn you. And...

[THRILLER JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

-I hope this works.
-[WAGON SCREECHING]

It's a great idea. But, um,
you may wanna get that.

-[WHEELS RUMBLING]
-[GASPS]

[PANTS]

[THRILLER JAZZ MUSIC FADES]

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

Hi.

Oh, Pepper Ann! Smileys finally got in
some organic tomato juice.

Now, I can get rid of my
nagging skunk stink!

Heh, isn't it... Oh.

Pepper Ann!

Don't tell me you're involved
in the Pyramid theft!

Um, not theft, unrequested safekeeping.

Pepper Ann...

you're going to
the Pyramid company tomorrow

and you're gonna tell 'em
what you've done.

And I want you to get anyone else
who was involved,

and tell them to come, too.

In the meantime,
you're in my protective custody,

so don't try any funny business. Let's go.

I should have listened to you, Janie.

It wasn't black and white.
Except, you know, for the skunks.

Finding that out for yourself
just may have been worth it.

You did the right thing
by returning the peanut butter.

I think it was more like
the "less wrong" thing.

Or the "gray doggie" thing. Hmm?

[SMACKS LIPS] Well, either way,
I'm proud of you, Pepper Ann.

And don't worry. Pyramid isn't going
to prosecute a little girl

in front of the whole country.

We're gonna make an example of you, kid.

We're gonna show the whole world
that you can't hijack

the country's favorite peanut derived
spreading product and get away with it!

-Why, we'll...
-Look, JB!

They returned the jars
with these little tags!

"Crush after using, Sammy Skunk
and Gary Gopher say thanks!"

The nerve of this little punkette!

I tell 'ya, we're gonna put...
we're gonna...

FEMALE VOICE: You know, I hate peanuts

with all my being, but I just can't resist
a cartoon skunk.

This is the cutest gopher product
spokesman I have ever seen!

Look JB! The furry friends are playin'
like gangbusters with the unwashed masses!

This could be the bump
we've needed since the weevil incident!

You're right. They love it.
Little girl, looks like you got lucky.

So, are we off the hook?

[LAUGHS MANIACALLY] Kinda, sorta.

Hey, c'mon.

You helped change a company's policy
and saved countless skunks and gophers.

Plus, it doesn't get
any more environmental than this!

You know, you're right.

[CAR HORN BLARING]

PEPPER ANN: Oh.

So we've got it all planned.

The whole class is gonna sneeze
at five after.

[SNICKERING] It's brilliant.

Brilliant!

I don't think it's brilliant at all.

It's totally immature and shows
a lack of respect for Mr. Carter.

All right, Nicky's in!

[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]

MR. CARTER: Okey-doke class,
let's open our books to chapter nine,

The Exoskeletal Files.

Pepper Ann, please.
Call off this juvenile prank, before...

That's enough chitchat, Ms. Little.

You can talk to Pepper Ann
after detention today.

I didn't know you had detention today.

She doesn't, you do!

-D... d... d...
-Oh, just ignore that there.

I stamp 'em in advance. Saves time.

[SNEEZING]

-Hey Nicky, what's wrong?
-What's wrong? What's wrong?

This is going on my permanent record!
That's what's wrong!

Permanent record?

Pepper Ann, don't you know,
that everything you do,

every expulsion, every detention,
every incidence of poor citizenship,

is kept on a permanent record?

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

Vera, where the Sam Hill
is Pearson's file?

VERA: On your right.

-[TENSE MUSIC FADES]
-Whoa.

That permanent record
stays with you forever.

-And thanks to this detention...
-[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

...I've been marked for life!

FEMALE VOICE: ...and of course, free
lattes for the polo team.

And that, Ms. Little, is our Harvard.
Now in regards to your application

everything seems to be in perfect order,
except for one thing...

[GASPS]

Did you think we wouldn't find out
about the detention, Nicky?

Did you think it would just
slip our notice?

It's on your permanent record
for Pete's sake.

-Sorry, detention!
-Try film school!

-That "D" should stand for duh!
-Hello, Phi Beta Loser.

-[STUDENTS LAUGH]
-[TENSE MUSIC FADES]

Easy, D-Girl. You know,
things could be a lot worse.

[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]

[OMINOUS MUSIC FADES]

Sorry you have to go
in there alone, Nicky.

Believe me, I tried to get detention...

[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[PEPPER ANN SINGING]

Oh! [GRUNTS]

[SINGING]

[WHIMSICAL MUSIC FADES]

[CHUCKLES] Wouldn't you know it,
the one day I actually want detention,

-I can't get it.
-So, we still on for Brain Dead?

Sorry, Coach Doogan wants me
to see the school psychologist.

[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]

-[SOMBER MUSIC FADES]
-[CHAIR CREAKS]

Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey!

-VERA: Close that book, Ms. Little!
-What?

-VERA: Homework is against the rules.
-[WHIMPERS]

All you can do in detention
is sit and think

about the wrong you've committed.

You can stare at the clock, too.

If you want.

-Hey! Hey!
-[WHIMPERS]

So what'd the shrink say?
Is it stress-related?

Nah, she just thinks Nicky
might be a bad influence on me.

[CHUCKLES] There's the bad seed now.

-Good morning.
-Whew, what a relief!

I was afraid your stint in D-Hall
would sap the amazing

out of the amazing Nicky Little.

See, it wasn't that bad.

Oh no, it was a fiery abomination of heck.

But it did give me time to think about
what I did and made me realize

-what I have to do.
-What?

Get that detention off
my permanent record if it kills me!

How?

[THRILLING JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

PEPPER ANN: Whoa! [GASPS]

-Whew!
-Whew!

[LASERS BUZZING]

-[PEPPER ANN GASPS]
-[ALARM BLARING]

Go! Go! Go!

[ALARM BEEPING]

[THRILLING JAZZ MUSIC FADES]

Give it up, team.
Looks like they got away.

Sorry Pepper Ann,
that plan would never work.

Why not?

Well, not only is it impractical,
unsafe, and unfeasible,

it's the stupidest thing
I've ever heard!

Aw.

-What if we tunneled in through the...
-I like it!

-We could use rubber cement to...
-Stop it!

I've already got a foolproof plan.

Every detail is set, double-checked
and timed to the second.

November 6th, five o'clock a.m.,

-we leave our respective homes.
-[MILO SNORING]

NICKY: We'll each take
a different route to school.

The fewer people who see us together,
the better.

-Ouch!
-[MILO GASPS]

I thought we were taking
alternate routes to school!

-So did I!
-[TENSE JAZZ MUSIC FADES]

-Way to follow your own plan, Nicky.
-[NICKY GROANS]

-Well at least Milo got it right...
-Here I am, right on schedule.

NICKY: At 5:19 and 30 seconds,

we were supposed to
rendezvous at the H-Tree,

but since we're all together, ahem,

we will approach the school
from the east

so as to avoid the motion sensor
outdoor lighting system.

So, how are we going to
get inside the school?

-[PEPPER ANN PANTS]
-And into Hickey's office?

I've got duplicate keys,
courtesy of Shelf McClain.

I knew it!

She spent too much time on the inside.

She goes in with a misdemeanor

and comes out hard
and corrupted with criminal ties.

Hey, hey! I did what I had to do!
At least I got the keys!

[SPOTLIGHTS POWER ON]

[TENSE JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

ERNIE: Huh, oh!

Looks like the coyotes
set off the lights again.

[SPOTLIGHTS SHUT DOWN]

[KEYS JINGLING]

ERNIE: There, that's better. [CHUCKLES]

So, this is where you work?

Bein' a middle school janitor
may seem like a thankless job but,

I find honor in my work.

Ooh, would 'ya look at that? [GRUNTS]

Excuse me while I go get my trash picker.

-[ALL GASP]
-[DOOR RATTLING]

[TENSE JAZZ FADES]

[GRUNTS] That's strange,
I don't remember locking up.

Um, why don't you just pick up
the juice box with your hand?

You wouldn't ask a surgeon
removing a kidney stone

to just pick it up
with his hand would you?

Oh, Ernie, I'm seeing you
in a whole new loot...

Oh... uh, light.

My plan is in ruins.

Hey look, here's that stuff
they throw on vomit.

[SMOOCHING]

Oh, Reginald, I wish this date
never had to end.

-My name is Ernie.
-Oh, yeah!

So, um, I've gotta get to the catwalk
and work it. Can I get a ride?

-We've got to get inside before the...
-[SPRINKLERS WHIRRING]

...sprinklers come on.

I've got it. Let's go!
Class starts in ten minutes!

"...overactive imagination quite normal
for a spirited girl her age."

Overactive imagination? Spirited?

I knew that psychologist
thought I was gaga!

I'm not gaga, am I? I mean,
if I'm worried about being gaga

doesn't that mean I'm sane,
'cause if you're gaga,

don't you think you're sane?

And would a sane person use the word gaga?

[TENSE JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

Sorry, but Devo broke up
like 20 years ago, uh.

We've got to ditch the jumpsuits,
and destroy the file,

before we run into... [GASPS]

Nicky Little! Just the person
I wanted to talk to! Alone.

-Bye, Nicky.
-Bye, Nicky.

Nicky, I was speaking with Vera

and she told me how much distress
getting detention caused you.

Now I'd hate for it to interfere
with your school work so,

what do you say I erase the detention
from your permanent record?

Oh, no, please you shouldn't.

After all, it wouldn't be fair
to the other students.

You're not just any student, Nicky.

Why, you may be the first
in Hazelnut Middle School History

to attend an Ivy League University

which in turn would reflect very well
on our school and its... [CLEARS THROAT]

...dedicated administrators.

Now, we can't let one silly
little detention jeopardize...

Wait a minute... just what
are you two doing in here?

She doesn't know. I tried to tell her
it was time for class,

but she insisted on saying hello
to every one of your pencils.

The other day, she was
wearing a bucket on her head.

The school psychologist thinks...

Well, I'm sure it's all in her file.

Come on sweetie, let's go.

Bye-bye pencie and erasie.

I always knew that girl was gaga.

Ah, here we go! Nicky Little.

-Whew.
-Oh.

Oh, no.

I'm afraid I can't erase this detention
from your permanent record.

-I wrote it down in ink.
-What?

-Kidding, just kidding! [LAUGHS]
-[GROWLS]

[YELLS]

Hey, hey!

Hey, hey!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC FADES]