01x19 - Bringing Down Baby

[bunniefuu]

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Okay, boobies, heads up.

You're on.

Remind me again why we let Phil
talk us into doing this.

I don't know,

some about donating
the proceeds to charity.

Yeah, well, only a complete loon
would want to wear this junk.

All right,
I am one stylin'-- Duck!

I rest my case.

Check out these
great accessories, man.

[music playing]

This has got to be the coolest
watch in the known universal.

It's yours, keep it.
Just, please, get to work.

[Wildwing] We've got a crisis.

The world is in danger.

We're saved!

[Wildwing] Drake One
spotted Dragaunus' g*ons

teleporting into
the high desert.

Is it that where the space probe

is scheduled to
touch down today?

Exactly. And we've got to
head 'em off at the pass.

[grunts]

With the dark powers
of our Saurian ancestors

such exertions are unnecessary.

Just be careful.

If this crystals is dangerous
as Dragaunus says,

we can't let anything--

Ah, you worry too much,

Get away from that probe, Siege.

Why would Dragaunus
want a space probe, huh?

I don't think he did.

I think he was after
that crystal.

It must have attached itself
to the probe in deep space.

We'll take it back to the Pond
for a full analysis.

That's right,
you dim-witted Ducks.

Run home with your prize.

They fell for it,
Lord Dragaunus,

just as you planned.

Maybe it's some kind
of component Dragaunus

needs to make
Bellarium crystals.

I don't know. I'm not even sure
this thing is a crystal.

One must never judge
by outward appearances.

I sense a presence
in this thing.

[rattling]

Whoa, this is one rock 'n' rock!

That's no rock. It's an egg!

[Mallory] It's an
intergalactic teddy bear.

[cooing]

Look at that.
That is just disgustingly cute!

Oh, come here, little guy.

Ahhh!

[moaning]

There, there, we won't hurt you.

It's okay, little guy,
come to Papa, uh?

[moaning]

[playful music playing]

[moaning and yelling]

Yeah... come on, man,
you little fuzz ball.

You reckon my image
as an ultra-cool,

youth culture icon, man.

[moans]

Ah, don't bat those
big eyes at me,

that ain't gonna work, buddy.

[cooing]

Ah, come on,
who am I trying to kid?

I'm a natural-born Papa duck.

Whoa, I'm not sure I'm ready
for all this responsibility.

[moans]

I mean,
he's gonna need care, right?

And feeding and orthodonture.

And not to mention,
the college fund.

Yeah, he's also
gonna need a leash.

[grunting]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Baby!
Hey, hey, whoa, whoa.

Mustn't trash
the high-tech equipment.

[playful music playing]

[moans]

-Ooh!
-[alarm blaring]

Drake One's picking up
some kind of weird

energy pulse downtown.

Those wave forms...

they're like nothing
I've ever seen on this planet.

It sounds like Dragaunus'
th*gs are up

to something naughty again.

All right!
Let's kick some scales!

Duke, Tanya, and I
will check it out.

You stay here...
and do damage control.

[moaning]

We're gonna be communicating
with tin cans and a string

if he keeps this up.

Everything's running
like a dream.

More like a nightmare
for the people on Earth.

[laughs] But we still
require one component.

The time has come to steal
the flux capacitor.

[laughing maniacally]

Oh, I love
rippin' off Earthlings.

[grunts] Oooh!

Baby, no!

[grunting]

[laughing]

[screaming]

There he goes, again!

[moans]

[gobbling]

He eating those components
from our gear.

[burps]

[hic-ups]

[groans]

Yo, Baby!

[laughing]

Amazing what you can do
with a toothpick, eh.

What in the world?

Boy, talk about
minimalist decor.

They didn't even bother
putting in floors.

[eerie music playing]

This whole skyscraper's
just a hollow shell.

We gotta find out
what's going on here.

We gotta find Baby.
He's all alone.

He needs me.

[Mallory] Whoa! Is that him?

Either that, or we just
found the biggest moth

in the entire universe.

A darkness has come over him.

[roaring]

[roaring]

Baby, my, how you've grown!

From the start, I sensed a dark
presence in the creature.

Let me guess, that's an
enlightened version of,

"I told you so."

Okay, Nosedive,

you're the expert parental
figure, do something!

-Nice, Baby, hi, hi.
-[growling]

Remember way back, like,
I don't know, seven minutes ago,

when I used to hold
you in my wings?

[crash]

How quickly they forget, huh?

And you thought he was cute!

Hey, somewhere underneath
all those fangs and slime

he's still my little buddy.

Maybe, but if he tries
to make a meal out of me,

you're little bud is toast.

[Tanya] Why don't we--
This is hopeless.

I mean, I mean, there's nothing
to find, it's just four walls.

Well, as Grin says,

"Don't judge
by outward appearances."

Duke, can you carve out
this dry wall?

Yeah, no sweat.

Not your average plumbing day.

Oh, I'll say.

[stuttering] Looks like
a molecular conductor.

Yeah, and look who built
this stuff, Vipertronics.

Yeah, looks like Phineas P Viper

and Dragaunus
are back in business together.

[beeping]

There's a break-in underway
at Techware

with teleportation energy.

It could have something to do
with this building.

My vibes tell me
Baby has been here.

[crash]

[roaring]

Let me help.

Together we will fight the evil

growing within you.

[grunts]

I sense you're... resisting me.

[grunts]

Baby, give up now and I'll
consider not grounding you.

[roars]

[Nosedive] Don't make me
come over there, young man.

You wanna back the puck around,

or you don't think those duck
cycles off little spin?

That'll be very fun, huh?
[laughs nervously]

How about those Dodgers?

Who the blazers are you?

Well, don't tell me you've never
heard of TV's lovable

free-wheeling Mighty Ducks now.

Something was stolen
from this lab a few minutes ago.

What was it?

You wouldn't understand.

It's far too technical.

Just tell us.

I can hardly see how a flock of
sports-minded water foul

could know what
a flux capacitor is.

You mean, a device
that uses charged Balonium

to create super-accurate
magnetic waves?

Yes, yes, yes, that's it...

but how did you know that?

We use Balonium in all out gear.

I'm telling you,
he doesn't mean any harm.

For a guy who doesn't
mean any harm,

he's sure doing a lot of damage.

What are you doing here?

Uh... looking for Baby.

What? How could that cute,
little fuss b*mb

get out of our headquarters?

Uh, well,
he's not so little anymore.

He's not so cute, either.

He's 15 feet high and cranky.

How on Earth did that happen?

Well, he kept pulling these

purple doohickeys
out of our gear,

and he ate 'em.

Did you say... purple?

Yeah, he only like
the purple ones. [laughs]

Talk about a picky eater, huh?

Balonium's purple,

and it has unique
energy properties.

I bet that's what
made him grow.

Professor, do you have
any more Balonium here?

A half ton of this stuff

in the warehouse next door.

[crash]

I think I know where Baby is.

Oh, no, he's eating
all the Balonium.

[growling]

Baby, take that
out of your mouth this instant!

[growls]

[Nosedive screams]

Oh, man, kids grow up
too damn fast these days.

How are we gonna stop it now?

Migrator's got enough power
to bring it down.

Bro, don't even joke, man!

We've got no choice, Dive.

It's incredible, Lord Dragaunus.

Those accursed ducks
haven't made any trouble for us.

Just as I planned,

they've been far too busy
with that creature.

Hey, the flux capacitor's
in place.

At last, with its power
amplified by the secretary

in the building,

I can pull down asteroids
from deep space

and bombard this wretched world
into submission!

[laughing]

I've been thinking about
that stolen flux capacitor.

And?

You remember the
molecular conductors

we found at that building?

They could amplify the flux
capacitor's magnetic power.

I think that whole building
is just a front

for the biggest tractor beam
in history!

What would Dragaunus want
with a giant tractor beam?

Well, he could use it to pull
stuff down from outer space.

-Like what?
-Like... meteors!

All right, first,
we deal with Baby.

Wait, dude, you can't.

Nosedive, there's innocent lives
at stake.

Dragaunus is behind this.

He wanted us to take that egg.

He knew it could destroy us.

That thing is evil!

Okay. Do what you gotta do.

He's in range.

Got him in my sights.

[roars]

There's got to be another way.

Come on, Grin,
we've gotta follow him.

[Dragaunus] Good work, Siege.

Now increase the strength
of the flux capacitor.

Probability of meteor showers,

[roaring]

There he is.

What does he think he's doing?

Baby, stop!

It's me, Poppy.

[growls]

I'm your bud, remember?

-[playful music playing]
-Come on, Baby.

You gotta remember.

[roars]

Wait, hold your fire.

[moans]

All right, that's my buddy,
boy, boy.

Okay, Baby, let's go
pay those lizards a visit.

We'll pull down enough meteors
to stomp this planet flat.

Then those wretched humans
will grovel at our feet.

Ain't nothing gonna stop us!

[Nosedive] Oh, yeah?

Sick 'em, Baby!

[roars]

You, meat-head, you're supposed
to smash the Ducks, not us!

I gotta hand it to those two.
They did it.

Yeah, but are
we gonna do with Baby?

Nosedive, disengage
the flux capacitor.

Dis-en who, the Chucks-a-Duck?
What?

The glowing thing,
would you just grab it?

Okay, Baby,

what say, we head on down?

Eating Balonium
is what made that thing grow,

and Balonium carries
a positive charge.

But by reversing the polarity
of the flux capacitor,

I can make the Balonium inside
negatively charged.

If Baby eats it, it should
reverse his growth process

all the way back
to his crystal form.

All right, Nosedive,
he listens to you.

Guess, I kinda have to, huh?

Come on, Baby, chow time.

[growls and sniffs]

[Nosedive]
Go on, just get it over with.

[grunting]

[moaning and burping]

Bye, little bud.

[moans]

It was nice knowing you,
little guy. [crying]

Man, if I don't win an Emmy
for this, there is no justice.

[Wildwing]
You sure this'll work?

You know how cold it is
in outer space.

That thing floated around
out there

for who knows how long
without hatching.

It'll be safe in the freezer.

I'm gonna miss that little guy.
[sighs]

Oh, I know you are, Dive.

And if there's anything
we can do...

Well, now that you mentioned,
I've always wanted a pony.

We can't keep a pony in here.

[Nosedive] Ah, come on, man,
just a little one.

-No.
-How about a duck?

[Tanya] Oh, definitely not.
I'm allergic.

[Nosedive]
A cat? A gerbil? A slug?

[theme music playing]