01x20 - Mad Quacks Beyond Hockeydome

[bunniefuu]

[theme song playing]

♪ On the road to glory ♪

♪ Ain't no turning back ♪

♪ It's got to be
the Mighty Ducks ♪

♪ On a quack attack ♪

♪ Look out,
clear the way ♪

♪ The Ducks are here
to play! ♪

[c.speakerTop]♪ Ducks rock! ♪

[cheering]

[c.speakerTop]♪ Ducks rock! ♪

♪ Mighty Ducks!
Here come the Mighty Ducks! ♪

♪ Burning up the ice ♪

♪ Just try and stop
the Mighty Ducks ♪

♪ And you're gonna
pay the price! ♪

♪ Here come the Mighty Ducks
Fighting for the gold! ♪

♪ Let's hear it
for the Mighty Ducks ♪

♪ Time to rock and roll ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go ♪

♪ Ducks rock! ♪

♪ Mighty Ducks!
Ducks rock! ♪

[c.speakerTop]♪ Let's hear it
for the Mighty Ducks! ♪

[c.speakerTop]♪ Mighty Ducks! ♪

[c.speakerTop][announcer]
It's the Mighty Ducks three,
the Fairfax Flapjacks one!

[audience cheering]

The Flapjacks are really
flapping the Ducks.

[grunts]

Hey, you-- Hey!
Didn't your mother
teach you any manners?

[announcer]
Flapjack right wing Francois

goes to the penalty box
for a tripping.

And it's a Mighty Ducks
powerplay.

I hate the way hockey is played
on this planet.

That guy tripped me up
on purpose.

-But he got his
karmic payback.
-That's right.

He did penalty time
and we got a powerplay
out of the deal.

-That's fair.
-Time out, bro.

The Dukester's got a point.
It's not fair.

'Cause we always
play clean.

And we never give away
powerplays.

Tomorrow we'll do another sweep
in the Aerowing.

-Maybe this time
we'll find the Raptor.
-[beeping]

Forget it, boobies.
You got an exhibition game

in Santa Nicola tomorrow night
against the Wombats.

Who the heck
are the Wombats?

They're not in the league.

We got more
important things to do.

Bubala, bubala, come on.

It's for a worthy cause.
It's for charity.

-What charity?
-Ah, I don't know...

It's-- Say, Stomachaches,
Pink Nails--

Somethin'-- Ah, ah, here.
Cash relief for professional
sports managers.

Now that's a charity.
What can be more worthy
than that?

I'd tell him, but the show's
only got 26 minutes left.

Boobies, come on.
Playing a major league team

would really help get
the Wombats franchise
off the ground.

You'd be doin' them a big favor.

Well, if it'll help some
fellow hockey players.

I knew I could coun--
er, count on you.

Hmm. Looks like we're
the first ones here.

Hello? Hello? Anyone here?

[rumbling]

Uh, guys?

What the heck's going on here?

Why is the ground moving down?

[Mallory]
It isn't. We're going up!

This isn't a stadium.
It's a starship.

You know, when Phil said
this would help the franchise
get off the ground...

he wasn't kidding!

Huh? Huh?

Move it!

Grin, open it.

Don't bother.

Take 'em to the holding bay.

I trust you have good news
for me, Weasel.

Would I be dumb enough
to call you with bad news,

Your Evilness?

I got six new recruits
for the game.

Plus a big fat commission
from Charg.

And that's the end
of my duck problem.

It's a win-win situation.

Oh, unspeakably
nasty one. He, he, he!

-It's done!
-I wish I had your
confidence, Lord Draganaus.

They aren't even
on this planet anymore.

Watch yourself
with these six, Kazor.

Are you telling me
how to do my job,
you smelly little rat?

No, just having fun wondering
how much longer
you'll keep it.

Hey, tuna bread,
what the heck's goin' on here?

I am Kazor,
Emperor Charg's personal guard.

You are his prisoners.

You are here
to play space hockey.

First up is one-on-one.

Score a goal
before your opponent does.

And what if we don't
wanna play your stinking game?

Failure to obey any order

will result in immediate
disintegration.

I, Emperor Charg,

welcome you to Hockeydome.

These freaks cannot force us
to play this game...
whatever it is.

I got a hot bulletin for you,
Duke. They're armed
and we're not.

We'll just have to go along
with this until we can
figure our way out of here.

Number four,
step up to the bars.

Hey, furball, since when
is hockey a compulsory sport?

No talk.

[yells]

This isn't hockey, duck.
It's space hockey.

There is a big difference.

Choose your weapon.

Listen, bub, we play clean.

Give me a stick
and let's start this bash.

Very well. It's your funeral.

[announcer]
Let's give a warm
Hockeydome welcome

to Nosedive!

[audience cheering]

They like me.
They really like me!

And he'll be facing
the champion
from the Medulla of Doom...

Klaxxor.

[audience cheering]

There's the drop!

That puck's mine!

Wrong, bird-brain!

Oh, man. What I wouldn't give
for a jumbo can of bug spray
right now.

[announcer] And Klaxxor
[indistinct]...

has Nosedive on the run.

Whew. That's the first time
a bug ever tried to stomp me.

Whoa!

Well, what do you know.

There's no defense
against a duck and a puck.

[announcer] Nosedive disarms
Klaxxor with slap-chuck!

[audience cheering]

No time to choose. He scores!

[all yelling]

Okay, we're in.

[Lord Draganaus]
Now you can begin

converting this place

into a Balerium
Crystal factory.

[laughing]

Choose your weapon, duck.

All right, creep.
Set my friends free.
On the double.

[empty g*n clicking]

Those weapons only function
on the ice.

Now move!

Resistance is futile earthling.

We... are the supreme beings
of the galaxy.

At space hockey
we are invincible.

Put a cork in it, bubblehead.

[audience cheering]

[beeping]

[announcer] Mallory scores!

These games are a crime.

I'm putting an end
to them right now.

[zapping]

[announcer]
Oh, that is definitely a foul.

[audience cheering]

Let's hear what His Majesty's
ruling is gonna be.

Destroy that particular duck.

And lose my commission?

No, I mean, lose
such a fine player,
Your Majesty?

Isn't it really
her guard's fault

for not keeping her in line?

Oh, good point, Weasel.

Tell me, what--
what do you suggest?

Yeah, this is about my speed.

But I still think
this whole thing stinks.

[announcer]
Facing off against
Duke, a surprise contestant...

It's his punishment
for letting Mallory fire at our
beloved emperor...

...let's have a big round
of booing for Kazor.

[audience booing]

-You!
-[growls]

It serves you right.
"What goes around
comes around."

These games are sick.

[audience exclaiming]

Please, mercy.

[audience cheering]

That's it. Very good.

Finish him.

Finish him!

I've become as bad
as the rest of 'em.

No matter.
If he fails to score, he--

he will perish.

Is that true?

Aye. My punishment
for failing the Emperor.

Whoa, and I was complaining
about the way they play hockey
on Earth.

Kazor, put me on the boards.

-What?
-And do it like you mean it.

I won't forget this.

[grunts]

[audience cheering]

-[buzzing]
-No fair.
The duck let him win.

Nothing is fair in hockey,
dumb Weasel.

Kazor will live...

for now.
[snickering]

[announcer] Mighty Ducks have
been chosen to participate
in Teamplay.

How can they stand
to be so good to us?

They'll be facing the Neurons.

Not only are the Neurons
undefeated,

no one's even survived
an entire game against them.

And for extra fun,
hot cones will be active
during play.

[audience cheering]

[upbeat music playing]

Man, this is space hockey.
I'd hate to see space football.

Look out for that water hazard.

...is about to move away!

Oh! [grunts]

Whew! I gotta learn
to keep my beak shut.

Forget it, you titanium twerps.

I can take anything
you can dish out.

Except that.

-[beeps]
-[announcer]
The Neurons score!

We're Neuro-one.

We're Neuro-one.

[announcer] There'll be no
lull in the final period

because both sides have
just put on their brass belts.

Oh, what more
can they do to us?

Oh, please. Don't say that
this close to a commercial.

[announcer]
Yes, those belts, folks,
are made of high expl*sives.

Any attempt
to remove them will result
in instant detonation.

And at the end of the game
the losing team will
be blown sky-high.

[stammering] But what
if there's a tie?

In the even of a tie
both teams will
be blown sky-high.

I had to ask.

[ticking]

Oh, man. Talk about
sudden death overtime.

[announcer] It's the Neurons--
one. The Mighty Ducks-- zero.

[announcer]
The Ducks better have scoring.

Because when
the final buzzer sounds

those blasters will blow
the losing team sky-high.

Yeah [indistinct]...

We can get the puck past that
goalie. He's got robot reflexes.

Draw him forward right,
and when I give the word

pass me the puck.

[upbeat music playing]

Now!

-[beeps]
-[audience cheering]

Incredible goal by Nosedive.

I have never seen
anything like it.

[grunts]

Oh! The Neurons sh**t
Grin's blade out
from under him.

In the words
of Master Tai Quackto,

one cannot skate
on twisted blades.

Until the ducks
find some new skates

it's a Neuron powerplay.

Terrific. 80 zillion weapons
in this dump

and they can't find
one lousy set of skates.

Yeah. And we're a man down.

[Kazor] No, you're not.

[announcer] What is this?

Azor from Radical Seven

has just joined the Ducks.

You're gonna let him
get away with that?

[snorting]

Let him try to help him.

They're going to lose anyway.

Something's wrong here.

Kazor is getting too chummy
with them birds.

And I don't like conspiracies
I'm not a part of.

I'm going to get you
out of here.
There's just one catch.

We have to survive the game.

[announcer]
The Ducks must score
in the next 20 seconds

or they won't survive
this game.

You've got to play
more aggressively.

Let's move!

[rumbling]

We're not gonna make it.

[thumping footsteps]

To heck with skates,
we've got to win.

I am one with the net.

[buzzing]

[bell ringing]

[zapping]

[announcer]
The Ducks take it!

Let's go.

The final score--
Ducks, two.
Neurons kablui!

[device buzzing]

[beeping]

There. The emperor's
personal teleportation chamber.

Going somewhere, fellas?

Weasel!

Uh, uh, uh.

One false move and I set off
every alarm in the building.

Unless you make it worth
my while not to.

[growls]

You [indistinct]!

Where'd you send him?

It matters not.
They know where we are now.

-Then come with us to Earth.
-No, no.

There's a band of rebels
on Altair 4,

dedicated to stopping
these games.

I intend to leave them.

Farewell, comrades.

Who'd have thought he'd turn out
to be one of the good guys?

Will you skip the long advice?
We gotta move!

No, wait. Draganaus did this
to get us out of the way.

We gotta find out why.

I can patch our comms into
this interstellar communicator.

Come on, come on, guys.
Where are you?

[buzzing]

-Talk to me.
-[Nosedive] This is your
interstellar operator.

-Will you accept a collect call
from another planer?
-What?

Just kidding, Phil.
Listen, man, anything
unusual going on?

[Phil] Those Saurions have taken
over the chemical factory
on Cypress.

Where the heck you've been?

Trust me, Bobby.
You don't even want to know.

I've set this thing to take us
right to that factory.

Uh-oh. We got company!

Ugh. Destroy them!

Jam on it, Tanya.

It's ready, my lord!

At last I have
Balerium Crystals.

The Raptor will rise again

and crush this world.

You see how easy it is
when there are no ducks
to stop us.

No. No!

No-o-o-o!

[audience cheering]

[upbeat music playing]

-[whistle blows]
-[announcer]
Penalty against

the Terrano Maple Syrup!
Interference!

Uh, well, back to the game.

You're awfully cheerful.

Yeah, Duke, I thought
you hated Earth-style hockey.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.
It's a wonderful game.

Really civilized.

Thanks for the powerplay.

[theme music playing]