04x17 - The Great Beyond/Jaybirds of a Feather

[bunniefuu]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Who's that girl? What's her name?
Is she cool? Is she lame?

Oh, you're talking about what's her name

-Pepper Ann!
-Pepper Ann!

Is she lame? Is she cool?

Is she breaking every rule?

Is she anybody's fool?

-Pepper Ann!
-Pepper Ann!

Pepper Ann! Pepper Ann!
Marching in her own parade

Pepper Ann, she's like one in a million

Pepper Ann! Pepper Ann!

Much too cool for seventh grade

Catch her if you can, Pepper Ann!

BOY: Who?
GIRL 1: Is that that girl from gym class?

MOOSE: No, that's me.

GIRL 1: Oh.

GIRL 2: Who is she,
and why does she have her own song?

-PEPPER ANN: Did someone take my lunch?
-[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]

Pepper Ann! Pepper Ann!
Marching in her own parade

Pepper Ann, she's like one in a million!

Pepper Ann! Pepper Ann!
Much too cool for seventh grade

No one's cooler than Pepper Ann!

-She's her own biggest fan, Pepper Ann!
-Ooh, a glowing green stick!

Catch her if you can, Pepper Ann!

[THEME MUSIC FADES]

[CAT SCREECHING]

Come on, Steve.

You've barfed in my Fuzzy slippers
three times this week.

Our appointment's in ten minutes, Peppie.

-[STEVE SCREECHES]
-Steve!

I know how much you hate the vet,
but it'll be okay, I promise.

[GASPS]

I think my new chameleon is really sick!

He keeps changing color!
First, he's green, then look!

He's turning brown!

Pepper Ann?

Yo. Right here.

Pepper Ann, your cat, Steve, appears
to have a digestive problem.

h*, h*, I'll say! You ever stick your foot
into a slipper filled with cat vomit?

So, what's he need? Some pills?

Last time, we had to give him
some of these big ol' nasty pills.

We'd be like, "Come on Steve, swallow it!"

And he'd be all like, [SCREECHES]
"No way!" And then we'd be like...

I'm afraid it's a bit more complicated
than that.

Why? What's wrong? Where's Steve?

I should warn you, we've diagnosed Steve
with something potentially serious

called "acute feline pancreatitis."

PEPPER ANN: Steve, no!

LYDIA: There must be something we can do.

Well, we are giving him
steady intravenous fluids,

but all we can do is wait and see

if the inflammation
in his pancreas subsides.

[SOBS] But what if it doesn't?

We just have to wait.
But if things don't improve

you might have
a very difficult decision to make.

Peppie, sometimes
when an animal is suffering,

the only way to relieve
that suffering is to...

To what? To pull the plug?

Steve's a cat, Mom, not a toaster!

We have to hope that Steve gets better.

But if he doesn't, and we have to...

you know, it won't hurt.

They'll just give Steve a shot,
and he'll drift off, sort of, to sleep.

And then what?

Well, we'll come home,
and cry, and miss Steve,

and then, after a while,
maybe we can get a new kitten.

Maybe a nice, furry Persian
that'll sit in your lap

-and chase its tail every...
-No, not what happens to us.

What happens to Steve?

It doesn't say anything in here
about what's going to happen to Steve

after he's gone.

Oh, well, I would imagine
that Steve would go to... [SIGHS]

...you know, to some sort of,
um, pet afterlife.

[GASPS]

LYDIA: Well, he'd have little kitty wings,
and a little kitty halo,

and maybe even a little kitty harp.

PEPPER ANN: Come on, Mom.

You expect me to believe that?

He has claws.

How is he supposed to play
the harp with claws?

You know, I think you might be taking
my explanation a little too literally.

-But I need to know!
-[SIGHS]

Peppie, the truth is,
I don't know for sure

where Steve's going to go,

or what's going to happen to him
if he does die. None of us do.

I promised Steve it would be okay.


If I have to pull the plug on him,
I need to know he's going someplace nice.

So, you say you wanna
Wanna learn about the flora and the fauna

[BEATBOXING]

PEPPER ANN: Excuse me, Mr. Finky?

I don't mean to change the subject.

You know, learning about the origins
of life is fascinating and everything,

but what about the "end" of life?

Do we ever get a death education class?

I mean, we're all gonna die
someday, right?

That's just how it goes.
Sure, we all have these big dreams

of going on to high school
and wearing eye shadow,

but no matter what choo choo train
you buy a ticket for,

we're all getting off at the same stop.

The big D, Death.

Let's face it, people,
we're driving blind into the great beyond!

Am I the only who cares?

[WAILING]

I'm sorry, uh, what was your question?

These books are great at asking questions
about the meaning of death,

but I'm past that. I need answers.

Every mainstream religion provides
a different theory on the afterlife.

From the Christian Heaven

to the karma-driven reincarnation
of Buddhism.

There's not, however,
any references to cats.

Look no further, P.A.

Steve can achieve life after death
through his art.

Like the work of Cézanne,
Rembrandt, Picasso.

Steve's clawed curtains
and muddy paw prints will live on.

Even the artist that sculpted
the otter statue has achieved

the ultimate... immortality.

Thanks, guys, but I think it's time
to consult some experts.

Hey, guys!

I need to know about death.

Do you mean Death McGinty?
He's still in Home Ec.

Or Death Brumley?
She's out today with the sniffles.

-Death Wilson...
-LADY ASTOR: Greetings, mortal.

I am Lady Astor, Mistress of the Tomb.

Pepper Ann. Pleased to meet cha.

So, you have come to the macabre world
of the muerte lunch table

seeking knowledge of Mother Death

and her many secrets.

Yeah, that's it exactly.

So, what happens after we die?

Well... [CLEARS THROAT]

...did I mention that Mother Death has
many, many secrets?

Maybe, um, Baron Von Gus,
our, uh... our Minister of Disenchantment

can help you out with the specifics.

To be muerte is to be
one with the macabre mystery

that is divine death.

But that's not telling me anything!

Death isn't some frivolous
fashion statement.

Don't you have the slightest idea
what it really means?

Look, what are you talking about?

This just gives us an excuse
to look really cool and outrageous, okay?

Yeah. I mean, look at me.

I'm not making the basketball team
or getting cast as the lead

in the school play
any time soon, understand?

This is all I got!

[SIGHS] So, you don't really know
any more about death than I do.

Sorry. But the way we figure it,
better to be noticed

for something ominous
than not noticed at all.

Are you gonna eat the rest of that cookie?

PSYCHIC: You've come at a good time.

The portal to the spirit world is
very strong today.

You can really speak to people
from beyond?

Yes. The one you asked about, Steve,

I can hear his voice all around us.

Steve's spirit is here!

He's saying how much he misses you.

But Steve's alive.

And he's a cat.

Oh, but of course, of course.

This must be, uh, Steve McQueen!
[CHUCKLES]

It happens all the time.

Whoa!

Well, I hope this journey
into the spirit world has been helpful.

That'll be 20 bucks, no personal checks.

[MONITOR BEEPING]

VET: No change yet.

But there's still hope for a recovery.

Don't worry, buddy.

I'm going to get you some answers.
I swear it.

Have you tried talking to people
in your family?

That can be helpful sometimes.

[CAR HORN HONKS]

When you get to be our age,
you can't afford to be guessing

about where you go
after you kick the bucket.

You have to know.

And you have to plan.

I'm so glad I came to you guys.

You two seem to be the only ones
who have any real grasp of...

-[TIRES SCREECHING]
-And here we are!

Row nine, plots 11 and 12.

-Should be very comfortable.
-I know the guy who does the thing.

Slipped him an extra fiver
for a nice shady spot, huh?

No, but spiritually speaking,
where will you go?

What? I'm not speaking English?

Row nine, plots 11 and 12!

Very simple, Peppie.
Eleven is for me, and 12 is for him.

Eleven for you?

I'm sitting here,
and I'm remembering that I get 11.

No, Leo! Twelve is for you.

I get 12? I'm stuck with 12?

Suddenly, I'm supposed to rest in peace
with the tree roots sticking into my back?

You know how much I hate that!

Thanks, Grandma. Thanks, Grandpa.

I think I'll just walk home.

Are you happy?

Your kvetching has driven away
our granddaughter!

GRANDMA LILLIAN:
But I always sleep on the left!

GRANDPA LEO: What if I need to get up?

Oh!

I'm never gonna figure out
this death thing.

I'm sorry, Steve.

[GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING]

Craig?

-Hey.
-Hey.

-My grandfather.
-Yeah?

I come here and jam for him sometimes.

He's the one that taught me to play.

Wow. I didn't know that.

When he died, I quit guitar.

I thought, you know, he's dead and gone.

And someday we're all just going
to be dead and gone.

You know, what's the point?

I've been feeling that way a lot lately.

So, what happened?

One day, I got the courage to play a note.

Just one.

And when I heard it,
it was like he was still alive.

Wow.

Yeah, I realized that all the things
he taught me,

all the time we spent together,

it wasn't really gone.

It's all right here inside me.

Thanks, Craig. I gotta run.

Catch you later, Pearson.

Pepper Ann, I've been calling your house.

It's okay, doc.
I'm ready to face this now.

-[MONITOR BEEPING]
-[GASPS]

So... it's time.

You're going to, you know... [SNIFFLES]

...pull the plug?

Well, that's how we do it.

Could you give us, uh,
just a moment alone first?

I gotta get this thing to the shop,
see if there's anything I can salvage.

[GASPS] Have you no compassion, man?

I'm just asking you for one minute here.

Goodbye, Steve. You'll always be with me.

I know that now.

Peppie! It's okay!

I know it is, Mom.

The times that Steve and I shared
are going to live on in my memory forever.

Okay. Do it.

Just do it.

A lot of fuss over a sody machine.

Sody machine?

SERVICEMAN: You've got nothing
to worry about, little lady.

I'm gonna take real good care
of "Steve" here.

Where's my cat? Steve?

The inflammation subsided
just a couple of hours ago.

Steve's going to be just fine.

-Oh, Steve.
-[STEVE PURRING]

Mom, let's go home.

Oh, it's so great to have Steve back,

but you'd think that for 600 dollars

the hospital could have
at least cleaned his teeth.

-Mom!
-I'm... I'm just saying.

I think I'll write a letter.

Moose! Come on,
you've been in there forever!

Get out you big ol' bathroom hog!

Get out! Get out! [GASPS]

Get out.

[GASPS]

Oh, Moose, sweet little sister, Moose,

why didn't you tell me you joined
the Jaybirds?

I... [GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

I hope you love Jaybirds as much as I did.

Being a Jaybird has meant
everything to me.

Why, it helped shape
the confident young woman I am today.

I'm not officially in yet.

Ah, yes, the nesting requirements,
memorizing the oath,

signing the personal injury waiver,

finding a Jaybird sponsor

who graduated with a complete vest
of merit ribbons.

-Peppie, will you be my spons...
-Me?

Oh, Moose, I'd love to!

Cool.

Well, I gotta go get my waiver notarized.

I'm sorry, but I'm afraid
you're not eligible to sponsor Moose

as a candidate for Jaybirds.
You're one merit ribbon short, Pepper Ann.

That's impossible!
I'm sure I earned all my merit ribbons!

Well, our records show
that you never finished

the Jaybird Go-Cart Rally
to earn your last ribbon.

What happened, Peppie?

Oh, my gosh! She was just here!
And now she's gone.

MALE VOICE:
Where's the chick whose cart that is?

[FANFARE]

But that was the only dayeth!

We apologize, Pepper Ann,

but without that last ribbon, technically,

you shouldn't have been allowed
to graduate.

Jaybirds was under lax management
at the time, wasn't it, Ms. Nadine?

My, my! This must be
the biggest graduating class

in the history of the Jaybirds.

Well, Ms. Nadine keeps records
of all the merit ribbons earned.

I'm sure she would be here
if someone didn't get them all.

[FANFARE]

[CRUNCHING]

But that was the only dayeth!

Are you trying to tell me I... I...
I'm not a Jaybird?

It's okay,

I'm sure I can get Constance Goldman
to sponsor me.

But all these years
I've been living a lie.

All these years I've been... [GASPS]

...using my Jaybird ten percent
discount card at "Tweets 'n' Tassels."

We're going to need that card back.

[GASPS]

I hate to do this,
but it just wouldn't be right for you

to wear the Jaybird pin, now would it?

PEPPER ANN: My nesting picture!

[GASPS] Please! Let me be a Jaybird again.

Let me earn that last ribbon!

Sorry, it's been over five years.
If you want to be a Jaybird,

you're going to have to start
from ground zero

like the other fledglings.

Start over?

NICKY: That's an awful lot of work,
Pepper Ann.

Are you sure you want to go
through all that again?

I mean, you're not
seven years old anymore.

You don't think I know that? [GROANS]

Excuse me... [GASPS]

...could I get this in a bigger size?

Oh, that's the biggest size
we've got, sweetie.

I want, uh, to...

I want to do this, Nicky.

Besides, it'll give me a chance
to bond with my little sister.

Are you gonna sell
those delicious Jaybird Clusters?

Got the order form right here.
What do you want?

Coconut Clusters! Coconut Clusters!

I want Coconut Clusters!

I can't believe they're still selling
those artery-clogging,

cavity-causing concoctions
of refined sugars and saturated fats.

I'll take five boxes! No wait, 500!

Milo, they're three bucks a box.

One, then.

And now, as the sponsors place
the inaugural beanies

on their fledglings' heads,

please join me
in reciting the Jaybird oath.

We the Jaybirds of Nest 33 promise
to do our best to make friends,

help others, have fun, play it safe,

and promise never to become communists.

We've gotta revise that thing.

Tweet, tweet!

Congratulations!
You are officially Jaybird fledglings!

[CHEERING]

I think I'll give Moose a little time
to socialize,

you know, without "big sister"
looking over her shoulder.

Well, I guess that's long enough.

So, you guys ready to earn
some ribbons or what?

I'm Moose, what's your name?

I'm Elkie. Oops! [LAUGHS]

Thanks.

Aw, fledglings making friends.

Boy, does that take me back.

You guys still on the square knot?

You think I should try again?

Nah, that's close enough.

Step it up, fledglings!

Three more miles
and that hiking ribbon's ours!

Peppie, can we slow down?

Slow down?

Moose, are you feeling overshadowed
by your big sister again?

The only reason I can do everything
so much better than you is

because I'm older
and I've earned these ribbons before.

Yeah, you've earned them before,

but for us it's the first time.

We're still learning everything.

And like Ms. Bernadette said,

we need time to feel the wind
under our wings.

If you want to feel the wind,
you've got to fly, baby, fly!

[LAUGHS]

[SIGHS] We're done!

Wow, helping to beautify the community

really gives you a great feeling,
doesn't it?

[LAUGHS] Great, great, great. Yeah.

Now, come on, we've gotta hurry
and get back in time

for Ms. Bernadette to sign off
on the merit ribbon.

Isn't that Vera?

I bet she could use some help
carrying those groceries.

Moose, Vera lives four blocks
in the opposite direction

of where Mrs. B. is to sign off
on the ribbon.

If Mrs. B. doesn't sign off on the ribbon,
we can't get the ribbon.

We can get it tomorrow!

Come on, everyone, let's go help Vera!

Yay! Tweet! Tweet!

Help is what I do best! All right!

Hi, Vera!

VERA: [GRUNTS] Back, back!

I told you vultures
I don't want to read your literature!

Come on, Peppie, it'll be fun.

Fun?
Fun is a vest full of merit ribbons!

That's what fun is.

Wait, Dieter, come back!

I've got honeydew on a stick!

I wish people would realize
nature's sweets can taste

just as decadent
as those infernal Clusters!

Clusters?
You got my Coconut Clusters?

[LAUGHING]

Wait!

These aren't Coconut Clusters.

Oh, yeah.
They discontinued the Coconut Clusters,

so they sent you
the new, reduced fat Vanillaroos.

What?

Sorry, Milo, I've gotta get ready
for the go-cart rally ribbon.

It's the last one. The last one!

I'm "this close" to being a Jaybird,

and there's no way that ribbon
is gonna slip through my fingers twice.

Discontinued?

Hey, Nicky, do you remember
where I put my old go-cart?

Pepper Ann, you built that thing
five years ago

and even then it was a pile of junk.

Reduced fat?

It doesn't have to win
any beauty contests,

just as long as it gets me
across the finish line.

Vanillaroos?

The rally's tomorrow.

Hope you both can make it!

And support the organization
that crushed my spirit

into weeping little Cluster crumbs?

You've got another thing coming, sister!

You've got another thing coming.

Reduced fat. [SCOFFS]

The only thing reduced about this candy
is the intelligence of the consumer.

Come on, let's get this show on the road!

-On your marks... get set...
-Bring back the Coconut Clusters!

-Bring back the Clusters!
-Outta my way!

MILO: Bring back the...

I'm getting my ribbon,
and no one's gonna stop me!

[SCREAMING]

-Peppie...
-Hold on! I know what you're gonna say.

I shouldn't have been driving
this pile of junk, it's not safe.

What is it with you lately?

Everything's about making friends,
helping others,

having fun, or playing it safe.

You act like that's the Jaybird oath
or something.

Uh, Peppie, it is.

We the Jaybirds of Nest 33 promise
to do our best to make friends,

help others, have fun, play it safe.

[SIGHS] So what's your point?

I was gonna say, you can still race.

Your go-cart just needs wheels,
and mine are still good.

Come on! You can't get your ribbon
unless you cross the finish line.

You guys would do that? For me?

Like the Feathership Motto says,

"Jaybirds of a feather
stick together forever.

"You'll be there for me...

"...and I'll be there for you."

[CHEERING]

Go, Moose!

Pepper Ann!

You gave Moose your go-cart?

But it's an annual rally.

You won't get another chance
to earn that ribbon for a whole year.

Like the Feathership Motto says,

"Jaybirds of a feather
stick together forever."

Yay, Moose!

Congratulations, Moose!

Thanks, Peppie,
I know how much this ribbon meant to you.

Maybe it meant a little too much.

Yes, I admit,

I may have gotten a teensy bit obsessed
over earning those Jaybird merit ribbons,

but, thanks to you, I realized
it's not about ribbons or pins

or a ten percent discount card.

Moose, you taught me
the true meaning of being a Jaybird,

and I wouldn't give that up for anything.

Except maybe for that discount card

or free French fries.

Who knew Vanillaroos would be so tasty?

They're reduced fat, you know!

You're not gonna tell anybody, are you?

You keep your trap shut, and so will I.

[MUSIC PLAYING]