05x04 - Complementary Colors

[bunniefuu]

SINGER: Who's that girl?
What's her name?

Is she cool?
Is she lame?

SINGER: Oh, you're talking
about what's her name

-SINGER: Pepper Ann!
-SINGER: Pepper Ann!

SINGER: Is she lame? Is she cool?

Is she breaking every rule?

Is she anybody's fool?

-SINGER: Pepper Ann!
-SINGER: Pepper Ann!

SINGER: Pepper Ann! Pepper Ann!
Marching in her own parade

Pepper Ann, she's like one in a million

Pepper Ann!
Pepper Ann!

Much too cool for seventh grade

Catch her if you can
Pepper Ann!

BOY: Who?

GIRL:
Is that that girl from gym class?

BOY: No, that's me.

GIRL: Who is she
and why does she have her own song?

BOY: Did someone take my lunch?

SINGER: Pepper Ann!
Pepper Ann!

Marching in her own parade

Pepper Ann
She's like one in a million!

Pepper Ann!
Pepper Ann!

Much too cool for seventh grade
No one's cooler than Pepper Ann!

She's her own biggest fan, Pepper Ann!

-Catch her if you can, Pepper Ann!
-A gold tooth.

"The 20th century may herald
technological advances

we never before dreamt possible.

Why, with the advent of the motor car
and the aeroplane,

the boundaries exist only
in our imaginations.

Perhaps someday,
we might even visit the moon!

Stop! Stop reading!
I can't take it anymore!

Mr. Finky, what happened to the new,
current textbooks?

Oh, these are the new textbooks.

It was all the school could afford!

Wow, think of it, the moon!

PRINCIPAL HICKEY: Attention students.
Please report to the auditorium

for an important assembly.

Assembly! Be still my heart.

PRINCIPAL HICKEY: People,
I'm very disappointed in the results

of our recent student
body president elections.

We had a record low voter turnout,
resulting in a victory

for a write-in candidate...
the school's otter statue

which is, unfortunately,
an inanimate object.

Hey, don't blame me,
I voted for Ernie the Janitor!

Paws, claws, teeth and fur,
I voted for the ot-ter!

Our hard-earned democratic freedoms
are not something to be mocked!

Oh, come on, we're in the seventh grade.
This isn't a democracy.

Settle down, hoodlums.
I'm not dead and buried yet.

Seeing as how you have taken no interest
in the democratic process,

I thought you might need
to get some perspective.

I've asked Congresswoman Barbara Reed
to come and speak to you.

Maybe she can set you straight
with her multimedia presentation.

Thank you, Principal Hickey.
Anyone here like to play video games?

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Good, glad to hear it.

Now that I've got your attention,

I'd like to tell you
how things were when I was young.

The world was a much different place.
Every day I'd wonder how I,

one little girl, could make a difference.

Then my grandma gave me a piece of advice
I've never forgotten.

She said, "Barbara, every change in
the world is made one person at a time."

And in 1960, an average
of one vote per precinct

elected John F. Kennedy president.

So don't feel discouraged,
one vote, one person,

can change the course of history.

I urge you to take your responsibilities
as voters seriously,

not just in the future, but now.

Multimedia.

What did any of that
have to do with Crunch Pod?

PRINCIPAL HICKEY:
We're going to try this thing again.

I'm posting a new sign-up sheet
for the election,

and if anyone cares about democracy,
they should run.

You were all born
with certain democratic freedoms.

Now use 'em or lose 'em, people!

...and then...
crash fell in the toilet.

[LAUGHS]
That's very...

That's very disturbing, Moose.

It's okay, we fished him out.

[SIGHS] How about you, Peppie?

Anything disturbing happen at your school?

[CHUCKLES]

The otter statue won
in the student body president elections.

Oh, Peppie, that's worse than Crash
falling in the can!

Voting is very important,
and you would do well

to take your responsibilities seriously.

I'm 12-years old!

I can't even vote for six more years!

Besides, I'm sure
that when I'm old enough to vote,

I'll actually care
about voting in elections.

Just like you do, right?

So, who did everybody vote for?
Not that fascist Mulrooney, I hope.

Of course not,
he wants to cut the school budget!

If he had his way, children would be
reading textbooks from 1932!

Oh! Gilhurst is a socialist,
and would tax us into the next century!

What about you, Lydia?

Oh, well 'ya know,
we were so busy today with the skort sale,

I guess I just forgot about the election.

If you leave right now,
you can probably make it!

You still have half an hour.

Last call for happy hour-priced
shrimp c*ck!

PEPPER ANN: You didn't vote
because of cheap shrimp c*ck?!

Well, I had a hard day!
I needed to unwind!

Besides, my one little vote probably
wouldn't have made a difference anyway.

Uh-huh! In 1868, one vote saved President
Andrew Johnson from impeachment!

In 1875, one vote changed France
from a monarchy to a republic!

In 1960, an average
of one vote per precinct

elected John F. Kennedy president!

So don't say one vote doesn't count.

One vote could change
the course of history!

Wow, I guess you really do learn things
at that school!

Yes, we do. And you know what?

I've decided as of this very moment

that I'm not gonna grow up
to be a non-voter.

I'm gonna get interested in the issues,
and the candidates!

Well? Do we have some good candidates?

Clowny Appleseed? Mark Hamill?

I don't understand.
Why doesn't anyone wanna run?

Because nobody takes this seriously.
They think it's all a joke.

You take it seriously, why don't you run?

Unfortunately, even I don't see the point.

At worst I'd suffer a humiliating defeat
to Clowny Appleseed.

At best, I'd be a powerless figurehead.

My sister Becky learned that the hard way.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Congratulations.
You are a powerless figurehead.

[GASPS]

You were right about one thing,
Middle school is no democracy.

Can't that be changed?

You'd have to talk
to our power-hoarding Principal.

He makes the rules.

Come now, Pearson,

I'm not gonna give
the student body president real power.

You're a 12-year old, for criminy's sake!

Then how do you expect us
to take this election seriously?

What's the point?

This is all just for practice.

Besides, you wouldn't take it seriously
even if the president did have power.

Look at most adults, they don't care
about the elections, either,

and our president is leader
of the free world!

That's not true. Some people care.

Congresswoman Reed cares. I care.

You care? What would you do
if you were class president?

Well, we could use some current textbooks.

We've been trying to get
new textbooks for years.

That takes M-O-N-E-Y!

Put on bake sales, car washes, bingo!

Fine, Pearson. You run, then.

If you beat out Clowny Appleseed
and Mark Hamill,

then we'll talk about presidential power.

Fine, I will!

Look, Pepper Ann is heading
for ze sign-up list!

Who do you think she's gonna add?

-Mama Destructo?
-Fuzzy?

-I betcha it's Spoony Joe?
-She's putting her own name on it!

That's right.

Someone's got to take
our democratic freedoms seriously.

Use 'em or lose 'em, people!

...and Hickey said that if I beat out
Clowny Appleseed and Mark Hamill,

I can have power!

I'm so proud of you, Pepper Ann!

I knew you had chutzpah, but wow!

Is there anything we can do to help?

I'll gladly donate my burgeoning
artistic talent.

-Good.
-I'll be your speech writer!

Excellent.
Now all we need is a base of operations.

What about the old ditto machine room?

Nobody uses that anymore.

[GRUNTING]

This rocks!

We'll put a desk in here,
and make it our official HQ.

I'll put the "P.A. for President" sign
right there.

And the button-making machine right there.

And call me crazy,
but over there I'm seeing water cooler!

So, now what do we do?

Well, since nobody
really takes this seriously,

we've got to make them get serious.

You've got to talk to the voters,
and prove that you're for real!

I bet I know what you think
about these student government elections.

They're a joke, right?

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

PEPPER ANN: Hey,
I totally understand how you feel.

I voted for Ernie the Janitor
the first time around, myself!

It was all a game, right?
We were just playing.

But isn't it time
we put away childish things?

Isn't it time we took our school,

our freedoms, and ourselves seriously?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

"The crowd responded enthusiastically
to Pearson's query.

Yes! Yes! Yes!"

I can't believe it.

They really are starting
to take me seriously!

They love you, Pepper Ann!

Now that they're on your side,
you can present your issues to them.

You do have issues, right?

Well, I think we need
some current textbooks.

Amen to that, sister! What else?

Hmm.

You can't win an election without
a well-thought out solid platform.

-Well?
-Except for the water slides

and the robot dogs,
it's really very good...

Whaddya think?

PEPPER ANN: These rock, Milo!

Let's hit the streets
and pass 'em to the peeps!

Here 'ya go, vote for Pearson.

A vote for Pepper Ann
is a vote for integrity.

Looks like you're not the only
show in town anymore, P. Ann!

Alice Kane! You can't run for president.

I'm the one that cut the deal with Hickey!

No, no, no, P. Ann.

He's decided that
if any actual human wins,

they'll get full presidential power.

And I'm going to win!

Alice Kane, Dieter Lederhosen
from ze Hazel Nuts 'n' Bolts.

Now that you've thrown your hat
into the ring,

please tell us how your platform
differs from Pepper Ann's.

First of all, I think that everyone
who has a perfect "A" average,

like myself, should get
a three-day weekend.

And everyone who has a "D" average
or worse, like P. Ann...

What? I don't have a "D" average!

Oh, looks like ve have a serious rivalry!

There's no rivalry.
And these aren't real issues.

Self-grading for the G.I.F.T.A. kids?

Is zis true?
Or is Pepper Ann merely a sour grape?

Oh, she's just mad because she knows
she can't beat me or my GPA!

Come on, Alice Kane.
You and me, right now!

Wait! You can't fight in school,
this is a place of learning!

You're right, Nicky.

Out by the dumpsters!
Let's dance, Kane!

No, I have a better idea!

Let's have a debate!

-A what?
-A debate.

You can each state your positions
on the issues in front of an audience.

Yes! Ve'll schedule it for tomorrow!

I'll run a special edition
of ze Hazel Nuts 'n' Bolts!

Good luck, P. Ann.
May the best candidate win.

And that would be me!

PEPPER ANN:
The only reason Alice Kane is running

is to get back at me for winning
the big pencil at the science fair!

Pepper Ann, the heart
of democracy is choice.

Besides, having another student
to run against means this election

is taking on an air of legitimacy!

I bet she doesn't care
about her issues at all!

All the more reason
to debate her in public.

This is your chance to tell
the whole school about your issues.

[CLEARS THROAT] Is this on?

I vould like to welcome everyone
to this first-ever debate

at Hazelnut Middle School.

I am Dieter Lederhosen
and I will be your moderator. [CHUCKLES]

Ms. Pearson, vould you like to tell us
about your campaign?

Why sure, Dieter.

The first and most important issue
of my campaign is the textbooks.

-Liar!
-[ALL GASPS]

Did you call me a liar?

Did you, or did you not,
attend the motion picture

"Zombie Wisconsin" on Saturday?

Yeah, so?

And is that not a movie rated PG-13?

I guess so,
but what does that have to do with...

And are you not 12-years old,
Pepper Ann Pearson!?

Then you clearly lied
to get into the movie!

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

I never lied, they just didn't ask me!

Just get back to the issues!

[CLEARS THROAT]

The next issue in my campaign
is school lunches.

Liar!

No. That isn't what I said!
You're twisting my words!

Alice Kane is just eating her alive.

How can you be enjoying this?

I love politics.

The heated debates, the passion,

the flying fur. [IMITATES CAT MEOWING]

I was horrible!
She just kept attacking me.

It was like debating a rabid mongoose!

Don't worry, she won't get far
with that mudslinging approach.

I hope you're right.

MILO: "Pearson was no match
for Alice Kane's onslaught,

reducing her to little more
than a blabbering fool."

But, I... She... I...

NICKY: It was just one debate.

There's still an entire campaign
to be waged,

and unlike Alice Kane,

you've got the people's interests
at heart.

Just keep concentrating on the issues.

Concentrate on the issues,

while Alice Kane is stabbing me
in the eye?

NICKY: Don't let yourself get dragged
into her fight, Pepper Ann.

Once you start down the dark path,
forever will it rule your destiny.

[SIGHS] You're right, Nicky.
We should just concentrate on the issues.

[LAUGHTER]

Look! She's trying to ruin me!

I'm disappointed that someone
as brilliant as Alice Kane

would lower herself to such a stunt.

We've got to destroy all these flyers!

-They're humiliating!
-We can't.

This is a free country, Pepper Ann.

She has the right to say
whatever she wants about you.

Fine, then I have the right
to print flyers about her.

Milo, fire up the ditto machine,
we've got to come up with something awful.

Yes! [MAKES SOUND]

Hey, how does this sound?
"Alice Kane is lame."

-Good. Go with it!
-NICKY: No!

What you need to do
is ignore Alice Kane

and focus on the issues!

Sticks and stones may break your bones...

...but birds can never hurt me.

I never understood that,
'cause some birds can hurt you.

Like in that movie.
And remember when that swan chased you?

It's words. Words can never hurt me.

Oh!

[GASPS]

Nicky, Alice Kane's propaganda machine
is out of control.

Yes, I saw the posters.

I need you to pretend to quit my campaign
and switch sides to Alice Kane's campaign.

Then you can let me know
what Alice is gonna do beforehand,

so I can prepare a counterattack.

Your code name will be Myra.

I can't believe I'm hearing this.

PEPPER ANN:
Okay, forget about switching sides.

Just break into her HQ and take pictures
of her stealing from orphans, then...

NICKY: Pepper Ann stop it!
I am not going to spy for you,

or commit breaking and entering!

What happened to the issues?

We're 20 points behind in the polls!

We can't let Alice Kane beat me
in this election, Nicky.

She'll make a mockery
of the office of President.

She'll make a mockery of us all!

I'm afraid you're right, Pepper Ann.

But instead of infiltration,
why don't we try something else?

-Like what?
-Well, why don't we use

the medium of television
to get your point across?

We can make a commercial
that spotlights your issues,

and air it on Public Access TV.

Nicky, you're a genius!

You could write the script,
and Milo could film it!

Get your dad's video camera,
we'll sh**t it at my house!

Even though every change
is made one person at a time,

think how much better we can do
if we all work together.

Won't you join me?

A vote for Pepper Ann
is a vote for integrity.

MILO: And...cut!

NICKY: That was wonderful!

You spoke intelligently and sincerely!

Oh, Pepper Ann, this is going to turn
everything around for us,

I can feel it!

-[PHONE RINGS]
-Hello?

PEPPER ANN:
Hey, put down that Jane Austen novel

and turn on the TV!
The ad's about to run!

Okay!

MILO: Alice Kane wants you to believe
everything she says.

What you don't know is that
she's not what she seems.

She's an evil,
depraved snake in the grass,

ready to pounce on anyone
who gets in her way... including you!

Won't you join me?

A vote for Pepper Ann
is a vote for integrity.

[GASPS]

PEPPER ANN:
What'd you think of the ad?

Cool morphing technique, huh?
It was all, "Hi, I'm Alice Kane,"

and then it was all...
Awesome!

NICKY: That wasn't an ad,
it was a smear campaign!

What happened to the script I wrote?

Well, we tested that whole
"issues" speech,

but the focus group thought
that the snake thing had more oomph.

Pepper Ann, you've lost sight
of the real goal!

Come on, Nicky, the goal
is to win so Alice Kane doesn't.

I mean, do you want her
to be student body president?

Frankly Pepper Ann,

I don't want either of you
to be student body president.

I'm sorry, but I can't abide
by all this treachery.

Goodbye.

What do we do now?

Nicky obviously can't stomach politics
in the real world.

I'm just gonna have to continue on
without her.

Once I've beaten Alice Kane,
she'll understand

that I'm doing this
to make the school a better place.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I'm surprised to say that we haven't had
this large of a turnout


for an election in the entire history
of this school!

Unfortunately, the winner, by a landslide,
was Mark Hamill.

-I demand a recount!
-Me, too!

[LAUGHS]

Who's laughing?

What's is so funny?!

I voted for Mark Hamill!

What?! What happened
to "our hard-earned democratic freedoms

are not something to be mocked"?!

I think I speak for everyone
when I say that your negativity-ridden

smear campaigns were demoralizing.

I was fully utilizing
my democratic freedoms

by casting a protest vote
against you two harpies!

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

As usual, Ms. Little has hit
the proverbial nail on the head.

You two should be ashamed of yourselves.

I'm sorry I'm late. Did I win?

Mark Hamill?

Well, yes. You did!

I'd just like to thank everyone
for this honor,

my wife Marilou,
the members of the Academy...

And though I'm not familiar
with two of the nominees.

I can honestly say that I am humbled

to have beaten the comic genius
of Clowny Appleseed.

This isn't an awards ceremony.

[CHUCKLES] It's not?

It's a middle school
class president election.

But I won, right?

Nicky, you're right.
I shouldn't have let myself

get dragged into the mud.

I forgot about all the issues,
and now we're going to lose

the office of president entirely.

NICKY: Pepper Ann, maybe you don't have
to be class president

to do something good for this school.

[ALL GASPS]

Smells like throw-up!

Let's send a big bad "thanks"
to Pepper Ann,

who kicked it, bake sale style,
and got us these new books!

[APPLAUSE]

Thanks, but you should really
thank yourselves, too.

After all, everyone helped.

Dieter brought strudel,
Cissy brought brownies

and Mark Hamill brought
those delicious chocolate chip rugala.

Old family recipe.

Even Alice Kane did her small part.

This rugala's only worth a quarter.

Alice Kane!

Pepper Ann, do us the fa-fa-favor
of reading about the 20th century

from the new book.

"The 20th century has been a time
of tumultuous changes in the world.

"And nothing exemplifies the essence
of this century more than the hilarious,

yet poignant comedy of Clowny Appleseed."

[MUSIC PLAYING]