05x06 - Stick Up Your a*s

[bunniefuu]

Previously on The Kardashians...

- I sold a movie to Netflix.
- That's amazing!

That's incredible!

People are like,
"Why do you work so much?"

Like, okay, yeah, that's my vice.
How 'bout let me do what I wanna do.

You do you, I'll do me.

It's Fashion Week!

I really love alone time with Kylie.

I think we're both pretty busy,

so when we get to have
these one-on-one moments,

it's always really special.

Oh, look, True, it's in my lap.

Wow.

Breaking news guys,
I am leaving Hidden Hills,

but I'm not gonna go far

because Kourtney could be
in labor any day now.

She's ready to pop.

♪ Check it out ♪

Khloé didn't come?

Khloé did not come
when she heard it was...

Daylight.

She needs to get out and live her life.

All arrows are pointing
towards misery.

I am a rigid mother-[bleep].

♪ What you know about that? ♪

♪ I bet you like it like that, huh ♪

Let's check on Kourt.

I know.
That's such a cute picture.

Maybe she'll see yours.

You know, she never
answers for me these days.

What? I feel like I talk to her
a hundred million times a day.

Hi.

What a [bleep] snake.
Hey.

My phone is not on loud.

I'm trying to, like, breastfeed
and just saw this pop up.

How's the babe?
He's perfect.

Kourtney had her baby last month
and we're all so excited.

I'm, like, multitasking.

Multitasking at its finest.

Kourtney's loving being a mom.

A mom times four is, like, the best.

I'm just so happy for her.

This is, like,
all she's wanted for so, so long.

Can you believe you are a mom of four?

Yeah, a mom of four.

Sometimes I'm like,
"Damn, I wish I could do it all over."

The one thing I would do
is be s-so strict from the start.

- What do you mean? With your diet or...?
- With a... With rules.

And bou...
And, like, strict with the kid.

Are we well?

I'm not saying right now.

- He's zero.
- No, you could still start.

I'm doing, like, where you
stay home for 40 days.

You're staying home for 40 days.

And 40 nights.
And 40 nights.

In many different cultures,
women don't leave the house

after having a baby for 40 days
to let your body have that time to heal.

And beyond that,
I'm really into attachment parenting.

I really don't separate from him.

I love being at home right now.

Like, my time is dedicated
to taking care of my baby

and bonding with him.

Then you're gonna go to a rave.

No, I just feel like I don't wanna

even go anywhere still.

Welcome to my daily life.

I haven't had a baby
and I'm still doin' the 40 days.

You should see what I do all day.

I watch these YouTubes
where it's, like, Christmas scenes

with Christmas songs.
Oh, my God.

Wait, do you feel like you're gonna
make it to the Christmas Eve party?

I haven't really decided.
I just wanna see how I'm feeling.

Normally, I plan the Christmas Eve party.

I do everything.
I'm super detailed about it.

But this year,
because I'm a new mommy,

I have given Christmas Eve over to Kim.

Alright, well...
think I'm gonna go back

to my blissful baby bubble.

Oh, sorry to pop it for a second.

- Unless you guys have anything else.
- No, we're good. Toodles.

Bye, guys.
Love you.

Love you. Bye.
Love you.

Wow.
Wow! You got it?

It's wider than that one.

Good job, Tutu.

For some reason,
I keep getting dissected and scrutinized

for being "too mommy".

Like, "You spend
too much time with your kids.

You never wanna be social,
you don't have any friends."

But, for me, I genuinely feel like
I was made to be a mom,

and there's no other place
I would rather be than here with my kids.

Pasta!
Pasta.

There's gonna be
a time that my kids

are gonna wanna choose
their friends over me.

And right now, when I have
the opportunity and the privilege

of having dinner
with my kids every night,

I'm gonna take advantage of that.

In 15 years, my kids
are never gonna be like,

"I really wish you worked more."

"I really... 'Member that time
that you were at work late?"

They're gonna be like,
"Why the [bleep] weren't you there?"

- Here's a small broccoli.
- No.

No, thank you.

I know that everyone is rooting for me
and wants me to go out and, and party.

I wish you were here.

I want you to know,
you don't leave the house,

you're not gonna meet anyone.

I don't feel like
the 12-hour trip to Paris

- was gonna... much was...
- That's the funnest part.

You meet someone, you get excited.

In 12 hours? I could barely get
my [bleep] wet in 12 hours.

And trust me,
when I get an urge to go out,

or be seen, or be in the streets,
I know how to do it.

I've done it way longer
than half you hoes.

Camera.

- Say, "Hi."
- Hi.

True? Are you eating or just drinking?

I need to drink.
I need you to eat.

Oh, my gosh. Okay, I'm gonna
take this until you eat some.

My sisters and I,
we all have different households.

We raise our kids differently.
I'm not judging.

If everyone's happy and healthy
and great, then wonderful.

But my type of parenting is
we do everything by a schedule.

Like, my kids do love
the s-security, if you will,

of knowing,
"Okay, after I take a bath,

"I know it's time to get in my pajamas,

and lay in bed,
and watch TV with my mommy."

Like, it works for me and my family.

So, you know I'm leaving
to go to Aspen with Lovie

and your aunties.

- Lovie.
- Lovie.

- When are you coming back?
- I'm coming back in a couple days

and we're gonna go s-skiing.
Wow!

Wow!

- Lovie.
- Lovie.

This trip is just adults.

- Lovie.
- Lovie.

Nice.

After Christmas and New Year's,

my family and I are gonna go
on a family trip to Aspen

and to have family time
and, like, no kids

and be with one another and just enjoy.

It is dance party tonight, so...

Go Taytay! Go Taytay!

- ♪ Don't stop 'til ya drop ♪
- Yeah! Work it out.

Work it!

Listen, my kids
are six and almost two.

Who knows,
in two or three years if I'm like,

"Okay, I need more of a social..."

I don't know, but right now,
this is what makes me happy

and this is where my heart wants to be.

♪ Da, da-da-da ♪

Okay, so, when the guests come in...

Mm-hmm.
- ...they'll all be guided.

Is music gonna be playing?

The carolers.
Yeah,

we have the carolers in here.

In here?
Yeah.

I'm in the middle
of planning Christmas Eve

with Mindy Weiss,

the official Kardashian-Jenner
party planner.

I think this is most similar to what
that's gonna look like flocked.

As long as it just looks like white snow,

like those pictures, even if it's
real snow coming in on the day.

I just have a full white Christmas vision.

So, my other idea was
either, like, the winter wonderland

or cover the whole house
to look like gingerbread houses.

Oh, my God,
I haven't seen any of this.

Hi, guys.

Hello.

It looks amazing.

And this is
our big gingerbread house.

- Amazing.
- Right? And then the star drape...

The star night is everything.

The starry night, it will all light up.

So cool.

And then, we're gonna fill up
the tree with presents tonight,

right?
Yes.

'Kay, 'cause I wanna fill it all
with the white presents.

Oh, the wrapping paper.

Kim kinda sets the bar really high,

which has really made
us a lot more creative,

but competitive.

The last few years,
my mom just copies

what I do the year before,

but changes the color.

Mine is always better.

I always like to do
recycled wrapping paper.

Kim's ridiculous.
Her wrapping this year.

I mean, they were
cotton jersey T-shirts, like, s...

Whatever you're trying
to claim, you're recycling?

But it was better than the year
she used Velcro for everything.

I think the best wrapping paper
is between me and Kendall.

Always. Period.

I'm not competitive about sh*t,

I just know that my wrapping is the best.

And this is our way to our sled slope.

Fun!

So, there will be snow in the front?

We're hoping.

It is starting to, like, pour in LA.

Torrential rains,

and if it's raining this close
up to Christmas Eve,

there's no way that they can
bring in the real snow

and that would ruin
our whole party.

So, it's very frustrating.

I am just praying
because if it rains, we're [bleep].

As much as I want there
to be rain in California,

this is just... I gotta think
of something else, like, fast.

So, I'm freaking out.

Oh, my God, this looks amazing.

The party is about to start.
It's gonna be so amazing.

And it looks
like the rain's stopping.

Thank God.

We had no rain issues.

It is a full winter wonderland here.

This is amazing.

Mindy and her team really
exceed my expectations.

We are at our annual Christmas Eve party

and we are so excited.

I mean, this is literally
what we look forward to all year round.

Christmas Eve is such a special night.

Our friends are here, family's here,
and it's just the best night ever.

It's honestly such an amazing night.

Our kids are running around everywhere.

I'm sledding with Paris, like we do.

Babyface and Wanyá
from Boyz II Men and Tank

are gonna perform.

It's just so much fun.
We're dancing all night.

We're eating the best food.

Cute.

I've never missed a Christmas Eve

and because I'm a new mom,

I almost thought about
missing Christmas Eve,

but I felt like it
would be really important

for all of our kids to be there with them

and have that memory.

I mean, the best part of these parties

is just that my whole family's here,

and it's a memory
that we all have together.

We get super dressed up.
It's super fancy. We love it.

And we just have
such a good time together.

I love Christmas.
It's so special, so important.

We all turn into 4-year-olds.

We all believe in Santa.

I love the memories that we make.

We feel so special, so lucky.
And we're all together.

Doesn't get any better than that.

They're coming out now.

'Kay. 'Kay.
Just havin' fun.

Like you came over to make pasta.

We're here today
sh**ting a little video for 818

and Kendall, of course,
called me because I'm a master chef.

Hey guys, welcome to 818,
as we like to cleverly call it.

I am so excited.

Today we're gonna make
the cutest pasta of all time

with my sister, Kylie.

I love cooking.
I cook for my kids.

It brings me so much joy.

So, I'm here to help my sister.

She is a way better cook than me,
so I figured I'd invite her.

But this is the moment
that we've all been waiting for.

No, I don't know if that's the truth.

Everyone's been asking
for you to have a cooking show.

- No, that's not true.
- Yes!

No. I don't...
I appreciate the lies.

You know, Kendall,
we've all seen the cucumber.

Be careful, 'cause I cut...
I nicked myself the other day.

I know, I'm kinda scared.
There you go.

Kendall's the best sous chef

and helps me for the past
two years on Thanksgiving.

I'm gonna cry.
That is so nice.

No, you really are.

We thought we ruined Christmas this year,

- but we did not.
- Oh, that's true. That is true.

- The truth of the matter...
- And that wasn't sous chef.

- That was me and you, 50/50.
- We were 50/50.

And if a-anyone wants to know
the results of what happened on Christmas,

we kind of documented a little bit.

First time making Beeshee.
We have no idea what we're doing.

My sisters describe Beeshee
as, like, an Armenian pancake.

♪ We're making beeshee ♪

Honestly, I've never liked
the family beeshee, you know this.

Mm-hmm.
- I had, like, two servings of our beeshee.

I'm like, "This is what

- it's supposed to taste like?"
- We k*lled it. We definitely k*lled it.

- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- Like, fluffy and just, like, mm.

We blew Kourtney's
beeshee outta the water.

- Yeah.
- Let's be honest.

- Yeah.
- Ours was incredible.

- And I think we're gonna...
- People are still talking about it.

Every Christmas Eve,
I am responsible for making

my grandma's famous beeshee recipe.

My grandmother taught me
how to make beeshee.

I'm the only one
that she taught in our whole family.

She's no longer with us,

but I know that she's
very proud of my beeshee skills.

There's not a chance
that Kendall and Kylie,

who have never met my grandma
and never had a lesson from her,

could make beeshee better than me.

Oh, my God, were you there

when she said there was
a hair in her beeshee?

I am here to report
that Kendall and Kylie's beeshee

had a hair in it this morning.

Really serious.

She looks up at me
and she goes,

"Kendall, Kylie,
there's a hair in my beeshee!"

And she pulls it out, and we're like,
"That's your recipe, babe. It's not ours."

For a fact.

There's no way that there
was a hair found in my beeshee.

Like, that's ridiculous.

- This is really delicious. Wow.
- Mm-hmm.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

- This was so much fun.
- It was.

And the hands hug.
This is a hand hug.

- Well, that I like. That's a...
- Okay, but try this. Just like this.

- That's a hand romance.
- And then go...

No, no, don't open your fingers
and just go hug.

Be careful of your mom's shoulder.

Yeah. Hand hug.

My snugly...

bugly... boo!

Ow! You almost broke my nose, dude.

'Kay, tell Koko
you love her one more time.

- I love you.
- Oh, my goodness!

Peace out!
Love you!

Khloé has really
been pissing me off lately,

so we're going to Aspen and I just
wanna get some things off my chest

and really talk to her
and just clear the air before we go.

Well, I have a bone to pick with you.

What now?

Just about your delivery on things.

'Kay.
- The other day when you called me

and asked me if you can do Chi's hair,

I don't know if condescending's the word,
but you're very, like, shaming.

Like, "Can I do Chi's hair?
Do you mind?"

And you're like, "'Cause her hair
has, like, so much product in it."

And I'm just like,
"I know. Mm-hmm."

I had a really hard week,
so I said to my mom,

"Can you please watch my two little ones?

I'll send them over,
and can you get them ready for school?"

Chicago put in this hair gel
in her hair on the way out the door.

And I was like,
"Honestly, who cares?"

My mom can slick her hair in a ponytail,
put it in a br... Who cares?

So, Khloé FaceTimes me and is like,

"I had to go over to Mom's
and help her get your kids ready

and Chicago's hair, the hair gel."

You were calling to not really ask me

if you could do her hair,
but to let me know...

No, I actually wanted to know...
- ...that, that her hair wasn't washed

- and it was, and it was gross.
- If you don't care if I do...

Next time, I will not ask you
and I'll just do the hair.

Just do it. Yeah.
- But if also...

Then if I do it, you're gonna say,
"Why'd you touch that?"

That was an extremely hard week.

Oh, I thought you were gonna say...

And you were like,
"Do you mind if I do her hair

'cause it's nasty."

All I said was,
"Do you mind if I do Chicago's hair?"

'Cause I didn't know if...
You are very particular.

I know her hair looks shitty.
Thank you for reminding me...

- Wow.
- ...that I didn't have the time

to do her [bleep] hair
one night before bed and wash it.

What are we talking about here?

I actually thought we were good.

I did Chi's hair,
then I took the kids to school,

and, like, that was really it.

I had no idea she was holding onto this.

It sounds like you're dealing
with a bunch of your own bullshit

and you decided...
Like, harvest this

and build up all this animosity towards me

when this is a you [bleep] problem.

I swear you just wanna project
whatever you're going through on...

and take it out on me,

and I could handle it
but only for so long.

I'm not gonna be here all day,

so if you need to slap me
or something, do it.

I know it looked shitty.
I wasn't trying to shame you.

I really was trying to help you
and do your daughter's hair,

and if you think I'm shaming you,
why would I shame you?

For not having the time
to wash her hair the night before.

No. That's your own insecurity.
I never said anything about that.

"I would've never let my kid go to bed

- with hair gel."
- But I never said that.

- Did I ever say that?
- But it's the tone. It's just the tone.

Maybe you wouldn't have
such a stick up your a*s

over hair gel if you
lived your life a little bit.

Like, it's just crazy.

Interact with other human beings

besides the children
and your family all day long.

We're great. I know.

But you need some other human interaction.

You need to live your life.

Wow.
- You have the world at your fingertips,

but you won't go see the world.

You won't let yourself go out there

to find someone
or even, like, a group of friends,

like the lifers, like,
try to pull you in...

- I went out.
- But you walked in...

"Good night.
You wanna see Allison's house?"

And it's, like, her big party,
and it doesn't matter,

but you were like, "Allison,
say hi to True. Say hi to Tatum..."

- It was...
- She asked who I was talking to.

She was, like, so excited
that you were there

and then you were like, "I gotta go.

- I have a schedule."
- I was vibing.

"This one went to bed at this time.
This one went to bed..."

Feel I was talking to everyone

- the whole night.
- No, I know.

But it was, like,
little things where I'm just like,

"Be present."

It's like The Whale.
The guy won't leave his house

- 'cause he's, ya know...
- I'm Brendan Fraser?

I'm just saying...
I don't know why that came to mind.

Oh, I thought you were
gonna say I look like a whale.

I'm like, "What?"

You don't realize that you sometimes
have a stick up your a*s

and it's, like, sometimes you're like,

"God she just needs to get [bleep]."

M-Maybe. Who knows?
Like, you just need

to get away from your kids,
for one... a pure getaway,

not dinner FaceTiming them,
walking and showing 'em a house tour.

Like, talk about mom shaming.
What the [bleep] are you doing to me?

It's just reverse mom shaming.

You're shaming me
for being a helicopter mom

or whatever you wanna call me,
and you're claiming I'm shaming you

for not being more of a strict parent
or whatever you're claiming at this point,

that you're not brushing Chi's hair,

which, obviously,
you brush Chicago's hair,

there was just a lotta [bleep] gel.

You have, like, no...
You're just, like, fine in Hidden Hills.

Your kids rule your life.

"I have a schedule.
I have somewhere to be."

It's crazy.

My sisters always say, like, I'm so rigid

or I have such
a strict schedule with my kids.

I don't think I have
such a strict schedule.

I just have a schedule.

Like, we have a time to wake up,
so we can get ready for school,

do hair, breakfast.

Then after school we normally have,
like, an extracurricular activity.

We do have dinner around 6:00, 6:30.

It's not like,
"If you're not at dinner at 6:01,

you're disciplined."

Like, I don't, I don't
know what she thinks.

Why are we constantly nitpicking
what I do in my personal house

if I'm not asking you guys
to live the same life?

Can't we all just be...

I don't know, like,
the moms we wanna be?

Think whatever you want.

Laugh as much as you want about me.
I don't give a sh*t.

- Get it out.
- I feel bad for you.

Hm... 'Kay.

Live your [bleep] life!
Get out!

If this is, like, the start of what
the Aspen trip's gonna be like,

I don't wanna [bleep] be involved.

I don't even wanna go
on this [bleep] trip with you

'cause all you're gonna do is pick on me.

Honestly, you're such
a b*tch these days to me.

I mean, she doesn't wanna go to Aspen now?

Grow the [bleep] up.
That's, like, so ridiculous.

♪ Did it, done it ♪

♪ We're movin' on up ♪

♪ Push the limit ♪

♪ Get it, get it ♪

♪ Keeps gettin' better ♪

♪ Rock it together like ♪

♪ Get up on your feet now ♪

- ♪ Don't stop ♪
- ♪ Chasin' the sun ♪

- ♪ Full speed ahead like a rocket ♪
- ♪ Can't stop ♪

Hi guys. Shh.

I love that I live so close to my kids.

It's really great to be
able to pop in when I want

see the kids when I want.

Hi, Mom.
- Hi. Let me see.

He wants to go upstairs.

Oh, he does?
Is that what he's saying?

- He said, "I wanna go upstairs."
- Okay.

Aww.

Takin' the elevator up.
I'll grab the stairs.

Hi, guys.

These are cute.

Kourtney, look at these.

So, I'm doing a fitting for the Emmys.

Travis, he's performing,
I think, opening the show

to, like, a Phil Collins song.

Oh, just opening the...
It's quick.

- ...Emmys. No big deal.
- It's quick.

So, like, we're there,
we're in and out.

I don't think we're even
gonna stay and watch

'cause of my breastfeeding schedule.

For the past two months,

I've loved being at home with the baby
and I don't wanna leave.

I'm starting to get a bit of anxiety
about going back into the world.

So, I still have 10 pounds if I care
to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight.

So, I said maybe some...
Of course, you care.

...baggy suits.
This is cool.

I care to get back
but I'm breastfeeding,

so I'm taking my time

and they say to keep your vag*na intact...

you should not jump
or run for, like, six months.

What does keeping your
vag*na intact mean?

Well, you can have prolapse,

which is where your vag*na
can, like, fall out, I think.

Supposedly, there's things
you can do to keep it up there.

That makes sense.
You should do Pilates.

So, I'm doing Pilates tomorrow.

Ooh, that's amazing.
- Yeah, I've just been walking.

So, we're doing the Emmys

- and then...
- I love this.

...did I tell you I'm going
to Australia for a month?

Is that already happening?
Yeah.

Travis has toured this year with Blink-182

and they are going to Australia

for the whole month of February.

Our baby will be three months old.

But it was kind of always my plan
to bring him and go on tour.

So, here we are.

- To the Emmys.
- Oh, my gosh. Look at that body.

You're k*lling it.
Isn't that crazy?

Huh?
- Isn't that crazy...

how they can do that
with this corset?

It's crazy how the body snaps back.

Can you breathe?

No, but I can't breathe when...
Doesn't she look great?

...my boobs are humongous
and filled with milk and veins.

Lovely.

My priority is not bouncing back

and getting my body back in shape

like it has been in the past.

I remember after having Mason

that it used to be
a really big thing to talk about

how soon can you bounce back

and everyone would do magazine covers.

I did a magazine cover in a bikini,

and stressing myself out
to eat a certain diet.

This time, I'm really just
all about nourishing my body

and eating the best foods
to keep up my milk supply.

So, I think it's gotta be a suit
'cause dresses... I'm too...

Yeah, I think the Saint Laurent
suit is the perfect choice.

Makes perfect sense.
Yeah.

Have you decided if you
wanna come to Aspen with us?

I don't think I can.
Like, I just think it's a lot for me.

Well, you could bring...

your boobs and a nanny.

I don't really have, um... a nanny yet.

- That can travel.
- Well, no. I just... I've literally

been on my own.
Yeah.

Also, he hasn't flown yet.
I don't know.

Travis is, like, protective over the baby

and so, even when we walk,
like, down the street,

he's like, "Bring security.
There's loose dogs

and there's coyotes
and there's mountain lions and whatever."

I know. I wouldn't go walk around
with no security if I had a baby.

So, I think he feels the same way
about me getting on a plane without him...

- Yeah, I get it. Yeah.
- ...for the first flight.

I'm definitely not gonna
make it to Aspen this year.

It's too soon.
I don't feel like going.

I'm breastfeeding.
I can't ski.

I don't wanna be away from the baby
and it's... just feels too much.

I get it.

Um, I'm gonna finish my fitting.

Alright, send me a picture of the suit.

'Kay.
- Okay. You look great.

Thank you.
Like, wow.

♪ This is where we set it off ♪

- ♪ Now stop ♪
- ♪ Three, two, one ♪

♪ Bring in the drums ♪

♪ We gon' turn up the fun ♪

♪ Dance with the queen ♪

♪ Go get it ♪

♪ Go, go, go get it ♪

♪ Go get it ♪

♪ Go, go, go get it, get it ♪

♪ Go get it, get it ♪

♪ So bad that it's just so sweet ♪

Hi.
Hey.

I wasn't sure if I was
actually gonna go on this trip

'cause Kim is being
a petty, little b*tch.

But I just didn't want
Kim and her bad attitude

and her negativity and bitchiness

to, like, take away this trip from me
and the rest of my family

and me hanging out with everybody else.

Good morning!

We're going to Aspen.
Khloé's here. Life is good.

I can't believe she showed up.
I honestly can't believe Kylie showed up.

I am very excited.

I've been wanting
to go to Aspen this year.

I try to snowboard at least once a year

and I'm just feeling blessed
to be around family.

What's the holdup?
Are we taking off soon?

So, the Captain said
there's gonna be about

a 30-minute delay here on the ground,
uh, because weather in r*fle.

I just need the visibility in
r*fle to get a little bit better...

for us to get in there.

Because right now
the only airport in that area

that I can get into
is Grand Junction.

How far is Grand Junction from Aspen?

It's a three-hour drive.
What?

Two hours and 40 minutes.
Yeah. Grand Junction...

It's a, at least,
a three-hour drive with the snow.

Yeah.
I don't think that's safe.

I don't like to drive in the snow.

I don't.
I think we're gonna be

- perfectly fine. The other only...
- Well, last time I was in Aspen,

there were three crashes

- just around on the streets.
- We're gonna be fine.

My assistant crashed,
my security crashed.

Okay, let's not talk about crashing.

I'm just saying I don't wanna
drive three hours in the snow.

Kylie's anxiety is kicking in
and I totally understand.

You know, there's a lot
of moving pieces right now.

I'm here, I'm ready, I'm packed...

I'm ready to go...
I'm not going to Grand Junction.

I-I think the best bet
is let me launch to Grand Junction

and let me see what
that weather's looking like.

But on the way to Grand Junction...
You could call?

I c... I'll-I'll-I'll be checkin'
it the whole... just like I am now.

But are you positive
we could land at Grand Junction?

Oh, 100% right now, yeah.
Oh, okay, so then

let's just go.

I'm really good with flying.
I am now.

I wasn't in the past, a few years ago.

I've gotten much better.

But I am having a lot of anxiety.

I've been having a really bad feeling
for the last two days.

Even last night I was...

Kylie, why would you say that?

No, that's worse that you
would put it out there.

I couldn't even sleep last night.

Kylie, the fact that you even
put that out in the universe

is one of the weirdest things.

That's a terrible thing to say.

What am I supposed to say?

Just keep it inside?

Yes. You're not supposed
to speak it into existence.

I'm just not comfortable right now
and I'm thinking about my kids.

I'm maybe dramatic,
but I feel like something isn't safe.

I just have a really bad feeling.

You'll be fine.

I just had a bad feeling
for the past two days.

I don't like the series of events.

I feel like I have to go.

I think I'm going to get off.

Everything's gonna be fine.

We can go and fly to Grand Junction.

I don't want to go.

I think someone
should go tell the guy then.

If Kylie needs to go, tell him.

I'm just having a lot of anxiety.

So, go tell him.
I'm saying we're moving.

The minute Kylie says,
"Turn the plane around. I wanna get off,"

I know she's serious,

and I know the anxiety is overwhelming

and I don't think anything
is gonna change her mind

because now she's really worried.

Kylie wants to get off the plane.

Can you just tell the captain
we're going to let Kylie off?

We're already taxiing.

Now we have to go back in.

I'm having a lot of anxiety.

I know Kylie since the day she was born

and I'm not discrediting her panic.

Bye.

Ky, I love you.
Feel better.

I don't know why she does this,

but it's also part of a pattern for her.

She's done this many, many, many times.

Bye. Watch your head.

I think she just thinks
she can get away with whatever.

Ju... I-I think you should
just come with us.

Nothing bad is gonna happen.

But it's always like this.

Everyone always...
It's always [bleep] like this.

The fact that she always gets out
of this sh*t,

is very ******* annoying.

I know the other girls are frustrated,
but it's one of my babies.

Of course, I'm gonna understand
and not get mad at her.

I wan... I don't want her to feel anxious.

She's just saying... Just...

I'm the wrong one.
I'm the wrong one.

So, if you can find a ride here,
it would be nice for you to join us.

Why don't you just hang up the phone?

She's not getting on.
And let's just move on.

Okay. Alright.
And you're never getting

your luggage back.

I'm gonna wear your clothes!
I'm wearing your outfits!

I don't care. She can't get us now.

I hope you brought cute sh*t.

I get first dibs.

What outfit am I gonna wear tonight?

Alright, we're gonna take off soon.

Okay, bye.

This is gonna be a great trip.

It is gonna be a great trip.
- It is, that's what I just said.

I just hope
she'll figure it out, calm down,

and change her mind,
and join us in Aspen.

We made it to Aspen, minus one.

It's, like, so ironic that
we're like, "Kylie never shows up."

Well... she technically didn't.

So, all four of you will ride

- on this vehicle.
- Perfect.

She didn't follow through.

But I still hope that Kylie shows up.

Thank you.

Oh, my gosh, you guys.

Kylie said,
"Some of those outfits on the plane

are my Paris stuff from designers."

- Sorry.
-"I just took some in case for Aspen,

-"so I know they were kidding...
- Nope.

"...but make sure no one
actually wears anything

"because I won't be able
to get more outfits

- in time for Paris."
- Let's go through it.

I'm definitely gonna wear

- and take pictures.
- Let's sabotage.

Let's undo the stitches,
so when she puts it on, it unravels.

- No, we are definitely wearing it.
- Just kidding.

I'm... How is that possible? Kidding.
No, I know.

I just really can't believe Kylie
manages to get out of everything.

She always does.
She always does.

I know the girls are upset
and they're upset

because they wanted
to spend time with Kylie.

I definitely get really sad when
she kind of bails on things like this,

especially on this trip
because she's my only snowboarding buddy.

Everybody else skis,
and we grew up doing it together,

so a part of it, for sure,
is sadness for me of just like,

"Damn, I was excited."

I'm not throwing in the towel yet.

I have much hope and many prayers
going up that Kylie shows up in Aspen,

she changes her mind,
and she's gonna magically appear.

♪ Call it some kinda mood swing ♪

Oh, my God.
I love a log cabin. This is so good.

Thank you. Thank you.

How cute.
Look like a big brown bear.

Hi, babe.

Hi.

How cute.

What a chalet.

That's what this is called?

This is so amazing. Wow.

This really is so cute.

This house is like Ralph Lauren
on crack and I am obsessed.

I love it.
- I'm so happy.

This house is stunning.

It makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

And there's somebody
in the kitchen making dinner.

I mean, pinch me.

Khloé, do you want the master?

No, Mom, I don't need the master.
Ya silly goose.

This is cozy as can be.
- This is cozy and cute.

Did you guys hash out
your differences?

- We don't really talk about them.
- Sisters don't really do that.

Once she starts on a schedule,
it'll be right back up

in the annoying box in my brain.

Well, speakin' of that,
I gotta go eat 'cause I'm starving

and figure out my room
and unpack and do all that stuff.

I'm also like a laying in bed
at night, TV kinda girl.

Uh, [bleep] me too.
And this one doesn't have a TV.

Let's see if Kylie's actually coming.

She's 100% not gonna answer me.

This is a big bed,
then there's more this way.

She didn't answer.

Khlo, do you wanna share a room?

Share a room?

I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
No, no, no.

If that's what you wanna do,
we could share a room and wrestle.

So, there is something kind of great
about laying in bed and watching TV.

Keeks, I'm fine in the double bed as well.
I don't care.

I just wanna watch Gypsy Rose.

Let's eat!

Hell yeah.

A girl's hungry.

Noodles.

Cucumbers.

Guys, can I tell you
what tragically happened to me?

It's really hard for me... to grasp

and it happened overnight.

I cannot see.
Like this?

I used to look at everything here
and now I have to go.

Oh.
And it's just happened overnight.

- That's so annoying.
- I think I can reverse this.

No, I'm serious.

I'm gonna eat t-tons of carrots...
How so?

...and I'm gonna do red light
therapy on my eyeballs

and open my eyes.

- Wait a minute.
- I don't think that's smart.

Who's gonna tell Kim
that carrots don't fix your eyesight?

It's called aging.
She's getting a bit older.

Wait a minute.
Hm?

Let's put on Kylie's clothes

and post just to us and our close friends.

She will die. She will literally...
That's the point, Mom.

Yeah, it's a joke.
- It's not to make her not die.

She's gonna be more upset.
She said she's losing...

- She's having a really hard time and...
- Doing what?

She felt unsafe.
So, you're gonna leave

your whole family and let them die?

If you feel that unsafe,

you'll beg and plead and cry...
Right.

- ...for your family to get off the plane.
- Why would she leave her mom, her sisters?

But she's that worried for herself?

If that's not a Leo,
I can't tell you who is.

We should at least sip
and have a toast or somethin'

for th-those who made it.
Sure.

We gotta pour somethin' out
for those who didn't make it.

- Cheers.
- Amen.

¡Arriba...
Cheers.

...abajo, al centro, al dentro!

Kim, are you gonna yell at me
if I FaceTime my daughter?

Is this a trick?
Why would she yell at you

for FaceTiming your daughter?

She doesn't like when
I FaceTime my kids.

We went to Allison's for dinner.

- Well, it was her...
- No, no, no.

This [bleep] b*tch brings
her child with her

to Allison's birthday dinner.

There was no kids at dinner,

but I brought Saint
because he was having

a playdate with Dylan so that
they could be busy and stay upstairs.

And there was
seven other kids there.

And I'm sorry, I FaceTimed
my daughter to say goodnight.

And Kim cannot let it go.

That I can't go out
without being attached to my kids.

Live in the moment.
We walk in the door.

I... She called when we were in the car.

No, she said,
"Can I see the house, where you are?"

I was by the front entry.
I wasn't in the party,

and Kim...
No, you walked...

It was walking down
the stairs to the party.

The two steps, and then I hung up
and then everyone was there.

I just said like,
"Babe, live in the moment."

And then we were sitting there
and so, she's like, "We're..."

We waited one hour

- before we sat down.
- I know, and she's like, "We're on...

I'm on a schedule here.
I have to go."

- No, what did you say first?
- And I'm just like, "Stop, we're..."

Kim, what did you say first?

Kim said, "Can we eat?"

She goes,
"I'm starving. Can we eat?"

And I go, "Yeah, you guys,
we're on a schedule here."

I am highly confused at what
I'm being punished for here.

Loving my kids too much?

Saying goodnight to my kids?

Them being on a schedule?

I would love for someone
to point out what the

am I doing that's
so offensive and hurtful to her.

No, it was a little bit more like,
"I'm on a schedule here, I gotta go."

You see...

I love you and I love a schedule,

but you walk in somewhere
and you're already ready to leave

- or you're already talking about leaving.
- No, no, no. I didn't bring that...

- How are you supposed to enjoy yourself...
- But I didn't bring that up...

- ...in the present moment?
- ...until Kim said, "We've been here

an hour.
Are we gonna eat soon?"

- I was helping the party planners...
- So, why is it okay if she does it?

But I said...

That's different,
being there an hour and haven't eaten,

- that's different.
- Right. So, I piggybacked off of that.

So I go,
"Yeah, guys, we have a schedule."

Like, I was trying to make her
not sound crazy.

And then, one more time
at the table you were like, "Let's go.

- Are we gonna go?"
- No, it was 9:30 and you said

we'd be home by 9:30.
Wanting to get the food out

because you're hungry,
if that's the case...

I don't have 24-hour care.

So, I had to tell my nannies

how much longer
they were gonna be there.

What are we even talking about?

Do you hear the
conversation right now?

sh**t me, someone,
'cause I committed a crime.

Like, are we okay?

I was just... It's not to critique,
it's just to say

- I felt... I just felt the energy...
- How is that not to critique?

- The whole thing is a critique.
- You never go out. I was so excited.

She came to a lifers dinner.

This is, like, they were so excited.

Kim was antisocial.
I'm with all of her friends.

Antisocial?
I'm hanging out talking...

No, with your same lifers.
I was with new people.

I'm schmitzing, socializing.

- I was as with the people as I could be.
- And I am so proud of you.

Kim's just trying to be a b*tch right now
and that's something Kim is so good at.

Like, if she wants to hurt you,
she will go for the jugular.

And it still wasn't good enough for you.

I was just giving you
tips along the way

that if you're out...
But why don't you

- have to take the same tips?
- ...it doesn't have to be like,

"I'm on a schedule. Let's go."
'Cause I didn't say that.

I'd go, "I'm starved.
Are we gonna start with the food?

It's been an hour,
probably an hour and a half."

And right after the same...

your sentence, I go, "Yeah."

If what she's saying is true,

the sentiment is different.

The sentiment is,
"I'm hungry, let's get the food."

I wish you were there
to hear the sentiment

'cause no one else
felt that except for her.

No, I just was telling you
to live in the moment.

Because, like she said,
the sentiment was different.

You're making up the [bleep] sentiment.

No, that's what I'm saying is
I think you're in denial.

- About what?
- About the sentiment.

- Mom?
- What?

Chill.
- Oh.

Sometimes you don't...
you-you hardly go out.

So, when you do, you're just like,
"I gotta get back. I gotta get back."

I don't think you realize it.

Everyone's saying they're hungry
and you are more like,

"Yep, I gotta go. I'm on a schedule.
I... Let's eat, so I can get outta here."

That was more the energy,
so I was just telling you,

you might not realize it,
let's live in the moment.

I'm just wondering if you think

- you live in the moment.
- I do. You know,

and-and if I don't
always live in the moment,

then that's something
I have to work on.

- I was just saying...
- Feel like you love nitpicking me

and we did the exact same thing.

But anyways,
I'm gonna go FaceTime my daughter.

I hope that's okay with you.

And if not, can you tell me now
so you don't tell me when I'm done?

Totally.
So, if it's not okay...

No, no. I'd love you to.
- ...tell me now.

- I'd love you to.
- No, because I don't want you to tell me

- later.
- Cheers to True.

Definitely not FaceTiming around you guys.

So far, this trip is not
getting off to such a great start.

I should've left with Kylie.

Next on, The Kardashians...

Woo!

What a beautiful day.
We got lucky, guys.

"Serious injuries or death possible."

Khloé, you can do it!

Attention, Target shoppers.

This is how you get me back to work.

I am slowly crawling out
of my blissful baby bubble.

Am I allowed to lay on here?
Sure. Go for it.

Oh, my gosh.

[on phone] I love you!
- I love you!

- Here we go again.
- Bye.

Just 'cause you don't wanna
call your kids to say goodnight,

- I'm gonna call mine.
- I'm with my kids.

off.

I wanted to tell you guys something.

I had my scan and this just
makes me really emotional,

but they found something.

My family is super competitive,
I think, year-round,

but Christmastime is a whole other type of

competitive nature
that no one's really ever seen.

Like, "Who decorated your house?"
"Well, who decorated your..."

Like, we all need a little intel
and like, "Oh, okay,"

and act like we don't care.

And then we're, like, in the car
immediately calling that person,

"Get over here and fix my [bleep] lights."

Like, it gets dark.

And if I go to someone's house
and I see something, I'm like, "Okay."

And then I get it
the next day and I add it

and I act like it was always there.