05x10 - I Can’t Do This

[bunniefuu]

[♪ "When the Beat Drop"
by Vanacore Music playing]

[Kim Kardashian]
Previously on, The Kardashians...

There's the Opera House.
Look, Reigny.

I am in Australia.

[Travis Barker]
Oh, my God.

[Kourtney Kardashian Barker]
Travis is touring.

Reign, you got me.

Having a newborn at home...

Woo!

...being able to go on a little adventure
has been really amazing.

[Kourtney screams]

I just got a call this afternoon that said
that the little tumor was benign.

When something health-wise
creeps up on me,

it reminds me that family's first.

Mwah, mwah.

And the biggest blessing in my life

was being able to give birth
to six beautiful kids.

- Kourtney was right.
- Okay.

We all need therapy.
Especially you.

When I got to prison,
I asked them if I could get therapy,

- I didn't qualify.
- Wow.

When Gypsy posted
that she wanted to get into reform work,

I really wanted to guide her
to really help people.

- This system is just built to fail.
- It really is.

[♪ dramatic music plays]

[♪ upbeat music playing]

♪ Here we go ♪

♪ First things first,
let me tell you what's up ♪

♪ Got me feelin' like a million bucks ♪

♪ Shinin' so bright,
I'm blindin' the sun ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

I was getting my blood drawn
the other day and the person goes,

"I mean, your mom's blood? Wow."

He called me up and said,
"Your blood results should be in a museum.

That's how good they are for your age."

- [Khloé Kardashian] Hm.
- I mean, when somebody tells you that,

you're not gonna throw
that little comment away.

[Khloé]
No.

There's this thing called
a Horvath test. [chuckles]

- A wh*re bath?
- [Kim] Not a "wh*re bath".

A Horvath.

-"Vath?"
- [Kim] Yes.

-"Vath."
- A Horvath?

- [Kim] I wonder why they would ever...
- Hor-vath?

I don't think it's spelled like a wh*re.

I heard "a wh*re bath".

"wh*re bath."
A wh*re bath test.

Isn't that what you heard?
"wh*re bath."

I would just change the name.

- I think it's, like, a Hor-vath.
- Well, wait, how do you spell "wh*re"?

- H... Oh.
- [all] W-H-O-R-E.

I don't really know how it's spelled.
I just know it's not, like...

- [Khloé] Horvath. wh*re.
- ...a hooker bath.

It's, like, this age test
that will tell you exactly

what your, like, physical, real age.

I found this test called a Horvath test.
Whoever named it needs to be fired.

It measures your biological age,
not your chronological age.

But I just want to feel my best.

If I happen to look like I'm 20,
I'm not mad at it.

Say you're 40
and your blood tests come back

that for sure, for sure, for sure.

It wasn't my-my blood test.
It was the scanner.

- [Kim] The Horvath.
- What scanner?

The scan that we took said I was 40.

[Khloé]
Mom, they didn't tell any of us our age.

[Kim]
They didn't.

- It's not about saying...
- [Kris Jenner] Well, we filmed it

- and we could roll back.
- Because they probably...

- You were there, Paxy.
- [Erin "Paxy" Paxton] Forty.

I... You're incredibly healthy.

Knowing your age,
I'd kind of put you, like, well into the...

in the 40s is-is kinda
where your body fits.

- [Kris] The 40s?!
- [Dr. Raj Attariwala] Yeah.

- Told you. I told you.
- Babe!

They probably just lied
'cause it was on camera.

- But, so...
- [Kris] But I'd love to go

- to the wh*re bath.
- [Khloé] What's up with the wh*re bath?

Do you know
what they do to get

- those results?
- Yeah, how do we find out?

- Blood.
- [Kris] Oh, blood work.

What if they tell an age that's
older than my chronological age?

Do you know how upset I would be?
[laughs]

I don't feel like this is
gonna be good for me,

and if it tells me I'm 75,
I'm gonna spiral.

And then, how do I fix that?
I don't. So, what does that mean?

I'm dead?

She thinks she's gonna be 60?
She probably is.

And this is gonna be
a wake-up call for her

to get out and live her life.

I don't know.

Yeah, stress is a huge issue here.

I've had a lotta stress.
I always have a lot of stress.

And I also know
I really like the kids' menu

and I don't wanna change from that.

Onion rings with ranch dressing?
[bleep] yes.

Pizza, thin crust, make it crispy.
Yes, on the ranch.

[sing-songy]
♪ Mozzarella! ♪

I'm in, for sure.

And if it says I'm a year older than 40,
I'm gonna be pissed.

[♪ mellow music playing]

♪ And I've been thinkin' 'bout you ♪

[birds cawing]

♪ And I've been thinkin' 'bout you ♪

[Kourtney]
Maple syrup and Himalayan salt.

This is my famous matcha latte recipe
you guys are getting to witness.

We've been having
the best time in Sydney.

I'm so happy that we came.

Whisk is key.

I've had almost two weeks
with my kids alone.

I'm gonna try to FaceTime Khloé.

It was so needed
to have this time with them.

I'm scared to try this.

I don't have caffeine anymore
while I'm breastfeeding.

And now, I'm so happy
that Travis is back in Sydney

and I'm making him
my world famous matcha.

Hi.

Darling.

Oh, cute.
All your Valentine's stuff.

- [Khloé] How is it?
- Oh, my gosh.

- [Khloé] Look at this photo wall.
- Crazy.

I know. Listen.
Give me one more year.

I'll be over this sh*t.
[laughs]

I was gonna say it screams,
"Bad for the planet."

Kourtney, not now.

[Kourtney]
Ah! I'm o-overflowing. I'm overflowing.

[Khloé]
What? What is?

- My matcha.
- Matcha. Of course.

Say hi to Auntie Kourt?

Hi! Remember me?

[Khloé]
Say, "Hi, Auntie Kourt." Say hi!

Lovey.

[Khloé]
That's not Lovey.

- It's Auntie Kourt.
- Oh!

[Khloé]
Kourtney, that's not an insult.

- You could only dream.
- [laughing] Do I look like I'm in my 60s?

Obviously, she's my mom
and she's beautiful

and she's 20-something
years older than me,

so, it's not, like,
the ultimate compliment.

- [Tatum Thompson] Hi.
- Hi!

Kind of is, I guess.

[Khloé]
Say, "Hi, Auntie Kourt."

Kourt.

- [Khloé] Kourt, yeah.
- [Kourtney] Yep. This is Auntie Kourt,

not Lovey.

Lovey.

[Kourtney]
You wanna see my view?

[Khloé]
Ooh! Look at this view. All the boats.

[Kourtney] All the boats
and look at the Opera House.

Do you see it over there?

[Khloé]
Wow!

And my flowers.

[Khloé]
And flowers! Wow. How beautiful!

We went...
Travis surprised me last night.

It's... It was... would be so your style.

He had a white Rolls-Royce
pull up to pick us up,

take us to dinner.

- [♪ elegant music playing]
- [both] Thank you.

Fancy!

Thought I was gonna use the runner van?

- [Kourtney] Yeah.
- [laughs] No.

[Kourtney]
It was our Valentine's Day

and we had the best time.

And then, there was more
of the same flowers in the hotel.

But we got to only stay
for a couple hours.

But, like, I couldn't
with the baby and all the kids.

He flew back from wherever
he was in Australia back to Sydney.

It's, like, very rare, now,
that we would have time alone

or go out to dinner or anything.

[Producer] Are you a romantic?

I'm definitely a romantic.

- Ah! Hi, baby.
- [Travis] Brought you this.

Thank you.
What is it?

It's your latte drink,
from whatchamacallit.

Mm.
We're talking about Australia.

- Oh, yes.
- She said, "Are you a romantic?

I know Travis is a romantic,
but are you?"

- Mm-hmm. I think I've brought it...
- And I said yes.

- ...out in her.
- Yes.

- Alright.
- I was j... I was thinking, like,

I'm a romantic with him.

Yeah, 'cause I remember someone that
I was just friends with would be like,

"I don't even like hugging people."

- Yeah.
-"I had to go to a hugging class."

- That's what you told me.
- Yeah. [laughing] That hugging class.

Mwah. I love you.
I'm gonna go say hi to Rock-Rock.

[Kourtney]
Mm.

- I love you.
- Alright. I love you.

Look at my new pajamas!

- [Khloé] [over phone] Cute.
- Travis had them

in the hotel for us matching.

- 'Kay, I love you. Bye.
- [Khloé] You look very cute.

- Love you.
- Thanks.

We planned a day
at the zoo today,

which I haven't been
to the zoo in years,

but I think the zoo in Australia
is supposed to be really special.

[♪ electronic music playing]

Ugh... it tastes like fish.

[♪ empowered music playing]

[Jane Fonda] Glad I'm gonna
be able to have Kim come here

and learn a little bit about it.

She has a lot of ways that she could
really... matter to Homeboy.

♪

She's here! She's here!

[indistinct chatter]

- Hi, sweetheart.
- [Kim] So nice to see you.

[Jane]
Good to see you.

- Thanks for coming.
- [Kim] Of course.

I mean, I'm constantly thinking about
how we can improve prisons

and help people reenter civilization.

[inmate]
Kim, love you so much, Kim!

[Kim]
I love you!

You gave me freedom.

[Kim] Once I realized that
I can make a difference,

it was really kinda hard to stop.

Really wanna change your outcome.

I really appreciate you.

You know, I think once
you spend time in prisons

and you meet people
and you hear their story,

you might not ever make that same choice,

but you also have never
really been in their shoes.

Help us get out of here!

[Kim]
I'm trying.

I just like to have, like, an open heart

and really believe
that people can change.

We're gonna go into Father Greg's office.

[Kim]
I'm meeting with Jane Fonda,

who is a board member
of Homeboy Industries,

which is an amazing organization

that helps assimilate
formerly incarcerated people

coming home and getting them jobs.

So, I'm really excited to see
what it's all about today.

You know, we-we really respect your work

- on criminal justice reform.
- [Kim] Oh, thank you.

And you've helped get them out.

- Yeah.
- And I know we-we've talked about what...

getting them out is one thing.

- Yeah.
- And then, once they're out,

they've got no nothin', right?

- No resources. Yeah.
- You know that better than I do.

And that's why
we exist here at Homeboy.

[Kim] That's amazing.
How did you get involved?

[Jane]
I wanted to be on the board

because I wanted to see
up close and personal

what this secret sauce is.

And it's just amazing, these guys...

[Kim] I really, you know, admire
Jane's dedication to this cause.

She's been doing this
for a few decades now,

and I'm just so inspired
by all of the people

I've met along the way
to just continue this fight.

Everybody's so excited
that you're here.

[Kim]
I'm so excited to be here.

[indistinct chatter]

Hi.

Hi, how are you?

- [Jane] The food is really good.
- [Kim] Looks amazing. I know.

I was saying I got
a delivery of a cake before, yeah.

This is Pam,
who runs our business here.

I myself, came through the program
in 2011 after I got out of prison.

I wanted to change my life

and I came here
and I started off hostessing,

worked my way up,
and now I'm the general manager.

- [Kim] Congratulations!
- This is... Thank you.

This is what Homeboy does for us.

[Kim] I think it's really
important to tell their stories.

It's just the classic story of like,
"Don't judge a book by its cover."

It's just so powerful
to bring our cameras,

so that everyone can see
how many amazing people we can meet

that just are deserving
of a second chance.

So, this is the bakery.
It's a $2 million business a year.

[Jane]
When Lily and I were here...

[baker 1] Oh yeah.
You guys were making croissants.

[Jane]
...taught how to make croissants,

what was so moving to us

- is the two guys that were teaching us...
- [speaker] Yeah.

...had been members of...
former members of gangs

that, you know, fought each other
and there they were making bread together.

I found that so moving.

[Kim]
What are they making right here?

- You want to try it?
- [Kim] Sure, yeah.

These are croissants.

Our buttered croissants.

Thank you!

Okay, so...

- [baker 2] Fold it.
- To the end.

And now the other way.

- [Kim] And then put it...
- [baker 2] No, no, no...

[Kim]
Oh, I'm messing it up already.

Okay.

- [baker 2] Now you roll it...
- This way.

[baker 2]
Yes.

[Jane]
Oh, my God. She's a natural!

[Kim] Don't tell my kids I know
how to make a croissant.

- [laughter]
- So nice to meet you guys.

You wanna do a selfie?
Ooh, my hat.

[employee]
Now we're going to tattoo removal.

- [Kim] Hi.
- Hi.

How are you?

[Jane]
You know why it's important

- to have the tats removed, right?
- [Kim] Yeah.

Because you wanna
get back into the world,

- you've gotta...
- [Kim] Yeah.

[patient] And this one's
actually not g*ng-related,

but as soon as somebody sees me,
it's just like, "Where's she going?"

Or, like, it's-it's j...
the energies are different.

Like, I just wanna be able
to take my kid to a park

and not get stared at
'cause of what we look like

- or what tattoos we have.
- [Jane] Yeah.

Let's see what it looks like.

Everyone has to have glasses.

- [Jane] Absolutely.
- [Kim] Okay.

You want me to sit behind you
and hold your hand?

- Yeah, sure. [laughs]
- You can sq... you can squeeze my hand.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

[doctor]
Okay, so, come this side.

Alright, go.

Three, two, one, breathe.

[Kim]
Oh, sh*t.

- [removal tool buzzing]
- [Kim] You got this.

Oh, sh*t.

[♪ tense music playing]

- [removal tool clicking]
- Oh, sh*t.

You can see it disappearing
already, seriously.

[Jane]
Breathe.

[bleep].
I could scream for you.

[doctor]
Three, two, one...

- [bleep]!
- [Kim] You are done! You are done.

[Doctor] We got one more to do.

She was going to do it.

I wouldn't trust me, guys.
We have a professional here.

- Yeah.
- [laughter]

- [♪ emotional music playing]
- [speaker] For me, this is my family.

Like, I don't have family on my own.

Now, I'm here
and I work in the legal department.

I'm studying to be a paralegal.

I also know how to expunge...

- Amazing!
- ...all my peers' records.

And my batting average is pretty good

- because we have an...
- [laughter]

we have a 95% percentage rate
of, um, granted expungements.

- Wow.
- But without Homeboy,

- you know, I... Yeah.
- You wouldn't be able to do it.

I wouldn't be able to do it, so...

[Kim] Today was amazing.
I'm so honored.

And we're so happy
that Kim could come

because she's working
on criminal justice reform

and she really understands what happens

when people are released
and they have nothing.

- Yeah.
- And so, I really wanted her to know

what Homeboy is because
that's what we do here, we heal.

- We love you. Thank you.
- [both chuckle]

- Keep up the good work, Kim.
- You too.

[♪ mellow music playing]

We're gonna go to the zoo.

Let's do it.

[Kourtney]
Um, Penelope fell asleep, guys.

- She did?
- Yeah. She's sound asleep.

- She needed it then, babe.
- [Kourtney] Yeah.

[indistinct chatter]

- What are you, pumpin' it up?
- I'm pumping. Pumping.

[♪ rock music playing]

Hold this for a second.
[chuckles]

I had some the other day.
It was so good.

- [Reign Disick] Did you actually?
- I'm just kidding. No.

[Kourtney]
Hi!

[zoo employee]
Hi, guys, welcome to Taronga Zoo!

[Kourtney]
Thank you!

- You excited to come see some animals?
- [Kourtney/Travis] Yes.

[♪ quirky music playing]

[Kourtney]
Oh, my goodness!

- [Reign] Can I pet her?
- Yeah.

- So cute.
- That is so cute.

Here's some leaves.
This is some of her favorite food.

Mom, can I get a pet kangaroo
in our house please,

and he can live in there with me?

- I don't think they allow that.
- Please, I... No, I'm responsible, Mom.

- No, I don't think it's allowed.
- Oh.

[Kourtney]
Oh, she's pooping.

- Careful, man. You're steppin' all in...
- Yep.

- You're stepping all in kangaroo...
- [Reign] Ugh!

[laughter]

Mom, can we get a pet of this?

- I think it's, like, a rare...
- [zoo employee 1] Yeah.

Unfortunately,
you can't keep them as pets.

[zoo employee 2]
Also, their poo is so stinky...

Eh, it's worth it, probably,
how cute he is.

[laughter]

[zoo employee 2]
Koalas sleep about 20 hours a day.

- You're a cutie, aren't you?
- Hey, buddy!

Mama, can we buy a koala?

They're very rare, sweetie,
and endangered.

[Travis] Do you guys,
like, try to find someone

to, like, mate with him?

Yeah. So, he actually had
a visitor, um, this morning.

- Oh, he did? Lucky him.
- [zoo employee 2] Yeah, yeah.

- Maybe that's why he is the way he is now.
- [Travis] He's so chill. [laughs]

- [Kourtney] Oh, my God.
- Ooh, you got some game.

[laughs]

- [Kourtney] The kangaroo's so cool.
- [Travis] So cool.

[Reign]
Hey, they're all our favorites now.

- You're right.
- Yeah.

Is there hand sanitizer?

[Kourtney]
Are you outta here?

- I'm off to soundcheck, my baby.
- 'Kay. I love you.

[♪ awkward music playing]

[kissing continues]

[Travis]
Mwah.

♪

Stop making out.

[Travis]
I love you... I'll see you later.

[Kourtney]
Mm-hmm.

We will see you at the show.

- [Travis] Alright. Have fun.
- Have a good soundcheck.

- Thanks for coming to the zoo.
- I will. Hit me on your way back.

- Of course. Have fun at the zoo.
- [Kourtney] I will.

- [Travis] Bye, Reigny.
- Now let's go.

[Kourtney]
Oh, my gosh. Look up there.

[zoo employee]
Aren't they so cheeky?

[Kourtney] Those are so cute.
Don't get any ideas.

- [Reign] Hm?
- Cheeky, cheeky monkeys.

[Kourtney]
For pets.

We have six pets and seven kids.

- It's okay. Mom, can I please get a pet?
- Including a baby.

Travis had to leave early
to go to rehearsal.

Please can I get a pet?

But I love trying to spend
one-on-one time with the kids,

and Reign and I, we have
so much fun when we're together.

We just laugh the whole time.

You can hold 'em out like this
and he's gonna use

his big, long tongue to grab 'em.

If you get a bit of slobber on your hand

it's good hair gel as well.

[Reign] How 'bout you get
some hair gel, Mom?

- No. No hair gel for Mommy.
- [laughter]

[Reign]
Mom, can we get a pet of this?

[♪ downbeat music playing]

I see an "R" here.
I kind of see...

What is she talkin' about?
She's makin' sh*t up.

[Kim] Does that not
look like a backwards "K"?

Does that not look like an "R"?

It looks like a buncha little penises.

[Scott Disick]
Hey, ya little peener.

- [Kim] No, it doesn't.
- Long [bleep] dong.

[sing-songy] ♪ Long [bleep] dong,
he's got a schlong-a ♪

[Khloé] You are unhinged.

- Nice to see you.
- [Vadim Borchenko] Are you guys ready

- to measure your biological age?
- Yep.

We need to collect blood.
Six to nine drops.

We're doing a blood test
to check our biological age.

I feel pretty good about mine.

It would be very ego boosting
if I was younger than my regular age.

[Scott] God, I'm probably
so much older than it says.

Right.
That's what I'm afraid about...

No, you're gonna...
You're in such good health.

Kim's probably gonna be, like, 15.
I'm probably gonna be, like, 70.

But if it says we're, like, 80?

Every prick and blood drop,
I'm [bleep] freaking out.

The only thing that's saving me
is that Scott's doing this test too.

'Cause there's no way
I'm older than Scott.

He used to party like a f...
I don't even.

Scott used to party.
I'll just say that.

Vadim, have you done this?

- [Vadim] Myself?
- Uh-huh.

- No, okay.
- I'm old. It would not make a difference.

[Khloé laughs]

Just gives you ability
to modify your life,

so you can live longer
with a better quality.

Hell yeah.

[Scott]
You're tryna live longer?

- Yes.
- For what?

- To be with my kids.
- Ahh. Got it.

I honestly feel like all of my sisters

would be probably younger.

Kourt works out.
She eats great.

I mean, disgusting.
Avocado smoothies? Like...

- Thank you.
- 'Course.

I love ice cream.

Cookies and Goldfish.
Wheat Thins.

Cereal.
[smacks lips] Love it.

- Does this hurt?
- No, no, no.

[Kim]
I definitely think I'm gonna be younger,

just for, like, how much
health and wellness

and everything that I do,
I would be like,

"Okay, it's all a scam."

Perfect.
We're good.

[Kim] My mom's getting
her blood drawn at her house next.

[Khloé]
My mom, she loves her martinis

and she doesn't love to work out.

She calls it "Pilate."

She can't even finish
the [bleep] name, "Pilates."

She's so lazy
and can't even do it.

Of course, she's not gonna be


She looks it.
And, listen, I'd rather look it.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

- Nine drops of blood?
- [Vadim] Six to nine, yes.

Today's the day of the blood draw
for the Horvath test.

And I'm interested
to see if it represents

the way I feel inside.

So, I can't wait to see the results.

Listen, I'm just happy to be alive,
in my heart.

But in my soul,
[laughing] I wanna be 40.

We did it, wow.
Very impressive.

See? "Very impressive."
[clicks tongue]

[♪ "Hello There"
by Vanacore Music playing]

♪ Okay ♪

Ready, guys?

♪ I like what I see ♪

[kids giggling]

♪ Hello there ♪

[crowd cheering]

♪ Is that for me ♪

♪ Just a simple little treat ♪

♪ Yes, I'm lovin' what I see, like whoa ♪

♪ Hello there ♪

- ♪ I like what I see ♪
- Hi, baby. [chuckles]

You guys are so funny.
I'll meet you in there right now.

Okay.

Travis has been touring
everywhere in Australia

and this is the first show in Sydney.

[Reign]
Whoa!

[Kourtney]
It's been a really long time

since I've been to a show,

and I'm so excited to bring all the kids.

- Hi! How are you?
- Hi, beauty, how are you?

Good to see you!

[gasps] Oh, you're even bigger.

- Oh, my goodness, hi!
- [Penelope chuckles]

Hi. Are you taking
good care of him?

- Yeah.
- She's the best big sister.

Hi! Aww!

[indistinct chatter]

Hi, babe.
He's sound asleep.

Oh wait, he just woke up.

Hi son.

Oh, that big smile for Daddy?
That big smile. I love you.

I love you.

Mwah. Did you eat?

Here? Yeah.

I'm goin' on stage.
I love you guys.

[Kourtney] 'Kay, kids.
Are you guys coming?

- [Travis] You ready, babe?
- Let's go.

Here, Reigny.
Take these.

[♪ "I Miss You"
by Blink-182 playing]

Mwah.

[indistinct chatter]

Do you like having Rocky at the show?

I do.
It's so nice.

- Yeah. His first show.
- I love havin' you guys here.

Thank you.

♪ Where are you? ♪

♪ And I'm so sorry ♪

♪ I cannot sleep,
I cannot dream tonight ♪

Dear Lord Jesus, I pray that
you keep a wall of fire around Travis.

I pray that you keep him safe
on the riser and with the fire

and protect his hands
and let him have the best show

- in Jesus's name. Amen.
- Thank you, God. Amen. I love you.

[Mark Hoppus] [over mic]
It's been a while and we missed you.

- [♪ "I Miss You" playing live]
- ♪ Hello there ♪

♪ The angel from my nightmare ♪

♪ The shadow
in the background of the morgue ♪

[Kourtney]
Our baby is backstage,

away from all the madness.

I am fully breastfeeding on demand,

so I'm just constantly going back
to our dressing room to check on him.

♪ Don't waste your time on me ♪

♪ You're already
the voice inside my head ♪

♪ I miss you, miss you ♪

[Kourtney] There's something about
watching my husband on stage,

and feeling the energy from the crowd,

and it's so fun to be able
to bring my kids.

♪ Don't waste your time on me ♪

♪ You're already the voice inside... ♪

- Havin' fun? Good.
- Yeah, it was fun.

♪

Australia was the best decision.

I'm so happy that we decided to come.

Are the kids having fun?

- So much fun.
- Yeah?

Leah was screaming
when the fireworks went off...

We had such a good time together.
The memories.

Mm, I'll be back.

- 'Kay.
- [laughter]

The things, like, just being
in a house all together

and, like, we just had the best time.

Like, really good family time.

[Mark] This is the best show so far
'cause you guys are here.

Aw! [laughs]

[indistinct chatter]

[♪ upbeat rock music playing]

- [Kris] Hi!
- This is somethin' else.

- Elvis.
- ♪ A hunk, a hunk of burnin' love ♪

- [Khloé laughs]
- What?

- [Scott] You look like Elvis.
- Thank you. That's what

- I was going for.
- You look amazing.

You should say, [mimics Elvis]
"Thank you. Thank you very much."

[mimics Elvis] Thank you very much.
Thank you. Thank you very much.

So, we are getting our results today

and we have the owner
of the company calling us

to walk us through all of our results.

I am so nervous,

and I've never been more excited
for something in my life.

Hi, how are you?

[Matt Dawson]
Great, how are you?

We are so excited
to hear our, uh, results.

Kris, when I look at your results,

the first thing we'll talk
about is your biologic age.

So, you are six years younger
than your chronologic age.

- Woo!
- What?!

Oh, good. Thank you. I'll take it.

She's pissed.

She thought she was
gonna be, for sure, my age.

Like, for sure, for sure.

Kim, are you ready for yours?

- [Kim gasps]
- Kim!

- Yeah, Keeks
- Drum roll!

I hope I'm younger.
Am I younger? Before I open it.

- Oh, who cares? You look 20.
- Just tell me, am I younger?

You're younger, so you should give
yourself a pat on the back.

I'm 34!

- [Kris/Khloé] What?!
- Yes!

- Oh, my God!
- You're 34...

- Wait, that's younger than me.
- That's almost 10 years younger!

It's incredible. That... I mean, that is a,
that is a really amazing score.

[Kim]
[bleep] yes!

And I think the more
impressive thing, Kim,

than just the age, is the pace of aging.

0.82 means you're aging 18% slower
than most people at your age.

Oh, this is [bleep] amazing.

That's why you're nine years younger.

I'm happy.
I'm so happy.

It's nine and a half years, I think.
So, 10 years. Let's round it off.

I'm 10 years younger.

I feel like it.
I act like it. I look like it.

So your diet is on point.

- Uh-oh. Mine is not.
- [Matt] So, the A1C is related

- to how much sugar...
- [groans] I'm getting anxiety.

Yeah, mine wasn't either.

My diet, I eat a [bleep]
like a [bleep] savage

- at a candy store.
- I eat really well.

Khloé is so nervous
about these results from this test

that she's making me nervous.

So, I just want a good result for her.

This is so much pressure
to go after you guys.

[Kim] If it comes out
that she's older than she is,

I think she'd leave,
like, very pissed off.

I think she would just, like, storm out.

Okay, I feel so young.

Should I pass it on to my "younger" sister
or "older" sister?

- [laughter]
- Khloé's next.

Khloé, you're next.
Should I look for you?

- I'm nervous that...
- Should I look for you?

'Cause it's, like,
the pressure of you being 34!

My heart is racing.
Like, literally.

Like, I feel my... pulse
beating out of my neck.

I'm like, "What the [bleep]?"
Like, why am I this freaked out?

I don't know why.
I don't know what this,

like, what this is gonna do for me,

but if I find out that I'm, like,


Like, I can't do this.

[Matt]
I-I've told your mother and your sister

that-that-that y'all
are all world-class agers.

[Khloé sighs]

[Matt] [on computer]
I've told your mother and your sister

that-that-that y'all
are all world-class agers.

- You are a world champion...
- [bleep] yeah!

- What?!
- Khloé!

- What?!
- [Khloé screaming]

You're in your twenties!

- Shut up! No!
- No!

- Oh, my God!
- [Khloé screaming]

[Kim/Kris]
Khloé!

You are...

[Khloé's scream echoing]

[Khloé] [echoing]
Shut up! No!

[screaming]

- [screaming continues]
- [ship horn blows]

[echoing]
Shut up! No!

[bleep] yeah!

[Khloé screams]

- Almost 12 years younger!
- Oh, I suddenly lost my hearing!

Holy. You're a child.

- Oh, my God, Khloé.
- She is 28 years old.

- Khloé's so happy.
- Can you sign this with your, like, PhD

or whatever you have
and I could frame it?

- [screams]
- Oh, my God, Khloé.

Never in a million years.
[laughs]

Like, if I had to bet money,
I never would've bet on myself.

I would've completely lost the bet.

Kim is livid by the way.

Like, I know she's pissed.

For sure I'm pissed.

I always wanna...
be the highest achiever.

I don't think I've ever beat her
in anything. Like, what?

Shut up, everyone!
[calmly] Sorry, sir.

- [scoffs] "Sir."
- [Kim] Okay.

I mean, this is exciting news
for you. It is.

And your pace of aging is 0.72.

- So, there is...
- I [bleep] all you guys over.

There's a global competition
on self-rejuvenation.

And right now, you would be
number seven in the world.

- You're number seven in the world...
- Wait, wait, what?!

...of the Rejuvenation Olympics!

- Oh, my God.
- I've never won anything...

We have another Olympian!

Well, wait.
Can you repeat yourself?

- [Scott babbling]
- I need to hear this for myself.

The world needs to know
that me, the fat one,

is now better than the best one.

She was always like,
"I'm the princess,"

or whatever her tagline was.

And my tagline on Keeping Up
was, "I'm the fat funny sister,"

if you look at the opening of the show.

I think you are the best man
I've met in a long time.

- I'm very happy with this whole...
- That doesn't say much.

The fat funny sister is 12 years younger
than her chronological age.

- Scott, uh-oh.
- 'Kay, Scott, I'm gonna hold your hand.

[Matt]
Scott, you look a little nervous

after goin' after the world champion.

- Well, I mean, competition's tough.
- I'll-I'll tell you,

your age, your biologic age
is the same as your calendar age.

- Good.
- Is usually what that means is,

in your past, you've probably not focused
on health as much as now.

Yeah. There was probably


- [♪ tender music playing]
- I was doin'...

Doin' things
he shouldn't have been doin'.

I was goin' pretty heavy in the...

Drugs.

- Dru... Thanks.
- [Kris] Drugs.

Drugs.
Yeah, thanks.

- Drugs.
- Drugs and alcohol.

Yeah, drugs and alcohol
were a big...

Strippers.

- Strippers were involved.
- [Khloé] prostit*tes.

- [Scott] prostit*tes, not really.
- [Kim] And, um...

Fifteen years of really
beatin' myself down.

That's fantastic
'cause we didn't really know

where this was gonna go for Scott.
[laughs]

Yeah. I thought it was
gonna be a real bad day.

This was actually
the coolest thing we've ever done.

I hated this test in the beginning.

This is the best test
I've ever taken in my [bleep] life.

- This was so cool.
- Yeah.

If it's not broke, don't fix it.

The kids' menu?
Coming right up!

Pizza!

Like, why would I ch...
No, I'm not gonna change.

And let me tell you,
this is not even my prime.

I've been in way better shape than this.

I haven't slept.
I'm stressed the [bleep] out.

Khloé wins on this one, guys.

Khloé is 28 years old.
Good for her.

And...

I gotta get down.

Give me a couple years when I'm zen.

Let me take this test again.

- [crosstalk]
- I'm gonna redo this every six months,

and if I don't get younger
and younger every single time...

sh*t.
Now I gotta do what she's doing.

Milkshakes.
Oreo milkshakes, in particular.

- Okay. Thank you so much.
- Thank you, great.

Khloé, you are such a rock star.

And to think the kids' menu
gets me this far.

[♪ bright music playing]

- [door knocks]
- [Kourtney] It's open.

- Hi!
- How's Rocky?

He is so good.

We were snuggling all morning

- and now he's sleeping.
- [Kim yawns]

[Kim]
Kourtney is back from Australia

and I've been waiting patiently

to tell her about my therapy journey.

- Do you want an apple tea?
- Sure.

I always would say, as a kid,

like, "Kourtney does everything first
and I just copy her."

And, like, it's kinda true.

- I finally went to therapy.
- Stop!

- You had to go through it first...
- Yeah.

...and then I was like,
"I'm gonna do this."

Now you see why I wanted
you guys to be on it.

My therapist told me,
she watched the show and was like,

"All your sisters need therapy.
Mainly you and Khloé...

- Yeah. Khloé.
- ...need therapy. And your mom."

I tried to mention it with Mom on the show

and she just kept cutting me off.

Do you do therapy or no?

[Kris]
Do you have a cute, little dimple

- in your chin right there?
- I think I do.

I think it comes off, like,
the way you explain it.

Like, "you need help" or something.

- Like, you're... Yeah.
- Yeah, like a little bit judgmental.

I think there's, like,
a analyzing other people part, too,

where, like, I would be like,
"Ooh, I know why you're doing that."

It's hard not to, like, restrain
from telling the person.

It comes across as being,
like, a know-it-all,

so I think I had that phase.

It's all a journey in growth,

but... I think I'm at the place
now where I'm like,

"Yeah. Do you. Whatever."

Which I think is... The unbothered place,
is the, is the good place to get to.

Unbothered.

- Kourtney is unbothered.
- [producer] Kourtney is unbothered.

I loved what she was saying,
though, about the trauma

and that you probably
really didn't deal with your...

- Yeah.
- ...trauma.

And that...

- Or that your way of dealing with it is...
- Or just that, like... Is to be extra calm.

I do the calmness too.

- Like, I'll be...
- Yeah.

It's, like, you downplay everything
almost as, like, self-protection.

- Mm-hmm.
- But I think that's why in, like,

emergency situations I feel, like,
my superpower is to be calm.

I would always say how calm I am
and that's my superpower.

But my therapist felt like
it's a trauma response

of me remaining calm
in living a life that

I always have to be
in this fight-or-flight mode.

It was such a light bulb moment.

My thing is like,
"Okay, I know people underestimate me."

- Yeah.
- So, like, it's gonna feel

really good just to, like...

- Prove them wrong.
- Yeah.

- [Kourtney] Mm-hmm.
- But it's like, "Why? Like, who cares?"

When someone tells me not to do
something that I've planned on,

I physically get like,

"You're getting in my way

"and I will bulldoze
what's ever in my way

'cause you're not gonna
tell me to change my schedule."

And I feel like that's how
I would get in relationships.

Like, when [bleep] started to tell me,

"You work so much,
why don't you just take the week off?"

And I'm like, "Get outta here.
Take the week off?"

And that was the beginning of the end.

[Kourtney]
I'm excited...

So I'm the new Kourtney.

...that you're doing this journey.

The biggest thing is just
getting to know yourself

and why you make certain choices
and why you operate that way.

And I think once you know,
it can help you make a better decision.

[Producer] Do you think your family

should do family therapy?

No.

Absolutely not.

Everyone's at a different place
in the board game,

you know, getting to the finish line

and I feel, like,

- everyone just do your own sh*t.
- [producer laughs]

I think the one thing that just got me

was just, like, you can
have better relationships,

like, with your kids
and your future partner...

- Yeah. Yeah.
- ...if you figure your sh*t out.

- [Kourtney] Mm-hmm.
- So, that's why I'm doing it.

- Well, I'm proud of you.
- Thank you.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

♪ You know we got the good life ♪

♪ You know we got the good life ♪

♪ Got it goin' through the night ♪

- [Kylie Jenner] Storm?!
- [Stormi Webster] Yeah?

[Kylie]
Be quiet for a sec while I film this!

[Stormi]
'Kay!

[Kylie] We are doing
a special family dinner at my house.

I feel really lucky to have
Nobu here to cook for the family.

Yeah, we've been traveling a lot,
we've been super busy,

so it's just the best
when we can all get together.

- Hi!
- Mommy!

First cousins are here!

Hey, girls!
I love my girls!

[Khloé]
Tatum's here!

- Yee-haw!
- [Khloé] Woo! Alright.

[Stormi laughs]

Wait, somebody started
the martini without me? What?

- [Khloé] Hi, guys!
- Hi!

[Khloé]
Kourt, you look so good!

I love, like, jumping in
to the chaos of all the cousins

and all the sisters and everyone,
and then I love jumping out

and going back
to my peaceful place at home.

- You look so cozy.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Mwah.

We haven't all been together
and seen each other like this in a while.

My son.

Well, we're almost all here;

there's always one that can't make it.

And tonight, that's Kendall.

I'm so sorry I'm not at the dinner.

[Kourtney]
Wait, stand up straight.

But I hope that it's
all going perfectly and beautifully.

[Kourtney]
I think Chicago's the tallest.

Cousin chaos is so good.
There's nothing better.

Let's go.
Round 'em up.

Everyone, except for me,
deposit your phone in the basket.

Somebody's gotta have
a phone in case of an emergency.

- [♪ elegant music playing]
- [indistinct chatter]

[Kylie]
Thank you.

I have this. This is good. I have mine.

Here, babe.
You want this?

♪

Wait, Travis, how was Australia?

[Travis]
So good. So fun.

We got to see one koala
and you can't touch it.

Koalas all have chlamydia.
You can't touch them.

- [♪ elegant music stops]
- Gonorrhea...

They have gonorrhea?

- I think it's chlamydia.
- [Kourtney] Oh, we went to...

Isn't that a sexually transmitted disease?

Yes, and Kim and I went to Australia
and they were like, "You..."

And one attacked Kim.

Don't they all have gonorrhea?

It's chlamydia.
Gonorrhea's when your peepee burns.

[Kris]
Wow.

So, we did this blood test
to see our age...

- [Travis] Yeah.
- ...and how, like, what our biological age

is versus, like, what our real age is.

- I am almost 10 years younger.
- Whoa.

- My biological age is 28.
- Twenty-eight.

Oh my...
We're like the same [bleep] age!

And guess what?
I'm number seven in the Olympics.

Number seventh in the world
of how slow she ages.

- Of how slow I'm aging.
- Wow.

[Khloé]
Yes.

It's so confusing
and I don't believe it.

Like, how many people did this test?
Like, 10?

Jealousy does not look good on you.
Okay, babe?

I wanna take it.
I'll be, like, number five.

"Poosh" your way to number seven, girl.

I don't have a health blog
and I'm on the [bleep] list.

Where are you on the list?

I have an eating blog.
[laughs]

The first thing he said was,
"Thank your mom for her genetics."

What about your dad?

I don't know, Kourtney.

You're welcome.

[Kim] Should we all do
the peak and the pit of our day?

Yeah, we should.

What is the peak
and the pit of your day?

The peak of my day
is being here with all my grandkids

and I think the, uh...
I had an extra peak today because

True told me that...
she just randomly came up to me

and told me how much she loved me.

- Aw!
- [Kim] [gasps] Is that true?

And that made my whole day

- and I told her...
- [Khloé] What a nice girl!

...that that was the most
special thing I've heard all day.

I don't know if I really had a pit.
Just too much to do in too little time.

[Khloé]
Good!

[♪ sentimental music playing]

[camera clicks]

♪ But you can't keep standin'
there all your life ♪

What an amazing year this has been.

I feel so grateful,
so thankful for all the blessings.

Had a couple health scares,
which was very nerve-racking,

but we're through it.

Kourtney had her baby boy, Rocky.

So, we're so blessed
and so happy that he's here finally.

And I still have a child, AKA Kendall,
that hasn't had a baby yet.

So, you never know.

Mom! Oh, my God,
you couldn't make this more awkward.

She has to chill.

[Kris]
Kendall! Woo!

[Kendall Jenner]
Right now and always,

I'm actively trying
to surrender to the universe

and let go a little bit more.

I believe in manifestation.

So, I would say let's,
like, call it manifestation.

I'm doing that every single day.

Just living life.

The peak of my day is just
being here with my babies and you guys.

- And then the pit of my day...
- Here, let me get...

...is that I have a fitting later

and I'm really tired already.

[all cheering]

- [Scott] [bleep] yeah.
- [Kris] Woo!

[Kim]
This year has been so good.

I'm entering my actress era.

I had no clue this was gonna happen.

Can officially apply
for a star on the Walk of Fame now.

[friend]
Yeah!

[Kim] I've taken some time off
just to really focus

on being the best mom that I could be

and I just felt like, "You know what?
If I wanna be a better mom,

"a better partner in the future,

"a better friend and sister,

"like if I just wanna better myself,

why wouldn't I go
and see a therapist?"

♪ Raise the sails ♪

♪ Leave the shore ♪

I've learned so much.

Like, now, it's kind of like,
I'm not gonna lie,

I've just watched the whole
season of The Crown.

- I could fully [bleep] rule a country.
- [crew laughs]

The pit was maybe
going to the dentist today.

- [Stormi] Ew!
- Yeah, that's a good one.

My peak would be watching
Aire with Reign and Saint.

♪ A brand new day beginning ♪

This year has been amazing for me.

At a really good place
right now just confidence-wise,

and having kids really helped me

because they don't care
what you look like.

They don't care what you wear.

They just love you for who you are.

Hello! I love you.

My pets think I'm hot.

Stormi thinks I'm the most beautiful
mommy in the whole world.

She tells me all the time.

And my son's in love with me
and that's all that matters.

My peak is that I was
in my pajamas until 4:30 p.m.

chilling with Rocky.

[♪ "I Love You Forever"
by Peter Verdell ft. Gus Tellino playing]

♪ I'm your guiding light ♪

[Kourtney]
This year was definitely about

bringing new life into this world,

moving in to Travis's,

and being so grateful
that I can not work as much

and focus on raising my kids.

When I started this year,

one of my goals was not
to overly plan things

or be too controlling and to let go.

I think the biggest thing
I learned is that

it all comes together
when you let God be in control.

My peak is being
number seven in the world. Okay?

- Regardless of what you think.
- [Travis laughs]

Being number seven.
I don't know what I am,

- but, everyone, mazel!
- [crosstalk]

♪ Even when the days are long,
I'll be there to cheer you on ♪

This year has been crazy.
I feel like every year is crazy.

- From sister fights, to skiing...
- [bleep].

...to feeling traumatized
to leave the gates.

But now, I'm feeling freer
to leave the gates.

Yeah!

Work it out!

My kids are getting older
by the minute. It's so sad.

Being a mom is such a gift
and the best part about my life.

You are a world champion ager.

- [screaming]
- [crosstalk]

I'm turning 40, I'm fabulous,
I don't give a [bleep]. Like, let's go.

What are we doing for Khloé's 40th?
That is the question.

I'm 28, you guys.

[Kris] The best part of all of it is
my family is amazing

and we're not going anywhere.

♪ I love you forever ♪

- Everybody, cheers to us...
- [family] Cheers!

...and good health,
lots of love, blessings.

- [all] Cheers!
- Love you guys.

[camera clicks]

Stay tuned, guys.


[♪ "When the Beat Drop"
by Vanacore Music playing]

♪ There it is, work it out, make it fast ♪

♪ Look at us ♪

♪ We're just winnin', winnin' ♪

♪ Every day gets better
when you go the right way ♪

♪ Always on the grind,
and no more time to waste ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, top tier ♪

♪ Straight into the atmosphere ♪

♪ Blowin' up, shootin' like a rocket ♪

♪ To the top ♪

♪ And we ain't stoppin'
'til the beat drop ♪

♪ Hands up, hands up ♪

♪ When the beat drop ♪

♪ Stand up, stand up ♪

♪ When the beat drop ♪

♪ Can't get enough, get enough ♪

♪ When the beat drop,
when the beat drop ♪

♪ Kn-Know you've been waitin' for it ♪

♪ I know you've been waitin' for it ♪

♪ When the beat drop,
when the beat drop ♪

♪ When the beat drop ♪

You're lucky I don't eat red meat

'cause I would be doin'
a burger dirty if I did. Yum!

[Producer] French fries?

Come on.
Who doesn't like French fries?

Sweet potato fries, wedge fries,
any fries. Love fries.

Potato wedges, especially,
barbecue chicken potato wedges.

[smacks lips]
Love. McDonald's fries.

I can go on and on and on.
I love carbs.

Remember, I used to be
a much bigger girl.

Like, I have it in me.
I love it.

I can binge-eat.
Like... Ugh.

I think it's shorter if you ask me,

"What food do you not like?"
[laughs]

[bell tolls]