04x04 - "The Vicar of Dibley" The Vicar in White

[bunniefuu]

"PASTOR IN HEELS."
par. 2 "The Vicar in White"


Welcome to YouTube, where you can find
translated interviews with Richard Armitage:

my channel: Justyna240266

It's been a really remarkable ten years.

Remember when Songs of Praise
came to town?

Not-not-not-not-not-not-not... No, I'm not.

And those lovely animal services.

Not-not-not-not-not-not-not... No, I'm not.

A moment,
when the stained glass in the church snapped,

and Geraldine just inserted
Transparent glass?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You don't remember much anymore,
don't you, Jim?

I remember things from my youth.

I remember working in the field
for Mr. Porter.

And how I was running around in those fields
with Johnny Porter.

When we were brawling around in the field.
with Millicent Porter.

And Mildred Porter.

And Martha Porter.

And once with Michael Porter.

But current things don't.

I don't see them that clearly.

You're a good man, Jim.

It's always been a peculiar pleasure.

Oh, Frank. We were just talking to Jim.
about the old days before the pastor came.

Ah, times have changed.

Parish council meetings
have been very short.

- Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, we just did what you said.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Happy days.

Overbearing b*stard.

I remember your offer,
for Hugo to join us.

Everyone said, "We can't take him in.
He's an absolute idiot-jolly. "

Yeah, the best moment of my life.
I was so proud.

Hugo, we all have
a memorable mood.

- A life before our pastor.
- It was so bullshit, wasn't it?

- We were dead, but we didn't know that.
- Like Keith Richards.

Oh, Owen. Life in front of our pastor
was it better or worse?

Much worse.
I didn't like Reverend Pottle at all.

Well, he was a 90-year-old old man.

- Yeah, that's right.
- We'd better get started.

We'll all understand,
if our pastor doesn't show up today.

And here he comes.

- Please continue, Mr President.
- Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir. Let's keep moving.

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't think so.
- Excuse me, sir?

Well, this is a great moment for our
the priestess and we won't move on,

...until I put it together with mine...
personal congratulations.

Oh, Frank, that's so sweet.

I wrote it down.
In the form of a poem...

...in 54 verses.

- I think it's better if we get started.
- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. First...

Father, I'd like to say something, too.

Dear Reverend, I wish you in your own...
marriage has achieved what I've achieved in mine.

Ten kids and a partner,
which is a clinical case?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Thank you, Hugo.

- You're welcome.
- I have an idea about the wedding.

Don't throw it away from the top.

Parachutes.

- Parachutes?
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

The bride and groom and pastor
they're getting on the helicopter,

jump out of the way holding hands
and they're downloading by falling.

I've been reading about a case that happened
recently in Germany.

- How did they do?
- At first, it was pretty good.

Unfortunately, the bride's parachute
...it jammed and dived to death,

- dragging a priest with you.
- That's great. That's great.

However, a parachute funeral,
which took place three days later,

ran smoothly.

Let's move on.

One more little thing.

Yes, of course.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'll be good. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir. We've got a lot of stuff going on.

Number one: planning.

To marriage!

Go on, David.
Of course, planning is very important.

The fact is, I left my fiancé
in bed to come here,

because I was planning on going back to him.
almost immediately.

And the fact is, I can't
Wait a second, so goodbye.

If she's gone, we can go through
to a secret point on the program.

Gentlemen, we must take up
a very important decision.

I've made an important decision.
about the wedding gifts.

We'll tell the people,
that we don't want presents.

and we're gonna ask them to give us the money
for some kind of charity.

I think it's gonna be nice and proper.
What do you think?

I think it's bullshit.

You give your whole life to others.

And at least for one day you have to
to allow yourself to be debauched.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm so glad you said that.
Where's the gift list?

I've narrowed it down to seven stores.

Don't you want to give people a free hand?

God, no, we'd get 17 bibles then.
and a vibrator from my Uncle George.

Here's our list.
One: TESCO.

Of course, only candy by weight.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I knew it was gonna be controversial.
Number Two: PIZZA DOMINO?

Do you have any serious suggestions
on this list?

Yes, Harry, I do.
Another one, for example.

- TRIUMPH.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- A dvd sale?
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- TOYS AND US?
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Is this what our marriage will look like?

I'll give you fantastic suggestions,
and you're gonna keep saying no?

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- I just have an example.

No, I won't always say no.
I'll say yes many times.

- Oh. Would you like a kiss?
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

That's bad luck, because I don't have time.

I'm putting everything aside,

on behalf of the big night.
wedding planning.

It's absolutely the most exciting
the night of my life.

I've spent the last decade
planning other people's weddings,

and now, finally.
I can plan my own.

This is my collection of magazines.

["Bridesmaids."
"Beautiful brides."

["The bride's best guide."
"Enjoy the bride."

["The Delightful Bride."
"The bride's busty bust."

[Bridie's journey through Oxfordshire.
No, it's not that...

["Wedding hairstyles."
"Wedding Hairstyles - New Trends."

And "Martha Stewart's advice to people
getting married in prison. "

Am I gonna have a voice in anything?

Of course it is. Come here. Come here.

We'll start with the flower arrangements,

then the table decorations,
bridesmaids' dresses...

- I'll be in the pub.
- It's for the best.

- Get lost, suitor.
- Your wish is an order to me.

- I got it.
- You thief!

Great, great, great.

I've been waiting years for this.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, wonderful.

Oh, heavenly.

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

David, I really don't have...

Hello. Hello.

- Hello.
- Hello.

- Hello, pastor.
- Hello, hello.

Oh, my gosh, the whole nuthouse.

To what do I owe this extraordinary
shock... Uh, uh... ...means pleasure?

First of all, Owen would like to say something.

Yeah. First of all, I thought,
that you're making a terrible mistake.

- marrying a boring accountant.
- That's nice.

But it turns out that he offered me
gratuitous settlements.

And me. And me. And me.

So now we've got him
for a charming, boring accountant.

That's great. That's great.

Second, we chose Hugo
for our spokesman.

Yeah, that's why I put on a black bow tie.
First time in 15 years.

The thing is, for weeks and weeks.
we were wondering,

what this town could offer you
for a wedding present.

It's not a mass suicide, is it?

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- That's too bad.

Yeah. We finally decided,
we'll tell you first.

- Don't do it. Don't do it. I love surprises.
- It's not that simple.

We've decided that for your wedding.
we'll give you your wedding.

Excuse me, sir?

We'll take it off your shoulders.
overall responsibility

for your wedding.

Holy Mother of God.

I told you she'd be delighted.

They say that wedding is the most important thing
a stressful moment in life,

so we're gonna do the whole damn thing for you.

- Listen to me. Listen to me. That's a wonderful thought.
- Alice will make a dress.

- Yes, of course.
- Yes, of course.

Me and my mom.

Nurses in the psych ward like it,
when he's busy.

Frank will take care of the readings.

I've been thinking about the Gospel.
according to St. Matthew.

- Which part?
- The whole thing.

Jim - music.

Dad and I are gonna throw a party.
in your honor,

when Harry's gonna have
your bachelor party.

I noticed Owen didn't have any work to do.
Maybe it's better.

You're very wrong.

- Oh, boy.
- Owen?

Photos, catering and flowers.
I said flowers.

I think that my idea
will give you a different word -

vegetables.

Oh, what can I say, darlings?

It's lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely,
lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely,

oh, lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely,
a lovely, lovely thought, but...

No "buts."
The crux of the matter is, Pastor,

that you've been in the last 10 years
the core of our lives.

We know you're not staying here,
once you're married,

so this is our last chance,
to do something wonderful for you.

It's true. It's true.

So, uh... so you're gonna take care of everything?

I won't have anything to say.
about my own wedding?

Not-not-not-not-not-not...
Not a word.

- Wonderful.
- Don't say anything anymore.

Let's get the girls and the guys to work,

summon forces from every corner of the parish,

to make us,
that this day will be the happiest day

the day that human beings had on this Earth.

Dear God, for Harry and for Geraldine.

Yeah, it's... Yeah, well...

And after the oath.

to the accompaniment of a guitar
Wild Owen Hewitt,

I'll sing it:

I wish you happiness and joy

and countless years together,

and pray that things never happen

didn't go so badly,
like Paul and Heather.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thanks, Jim. Thanks, man.

Well, that's... it's... that's it.

And you, Owen, brought in
something new for the wedding video?

Yeah. I thought I'd sh**t him.
in the style of your favorite movie.

Please tell me this isn't gonna be
"Private Ryan.

Exactly like that.

When you're walking down the aisle,
it'll be like landing in Normandy.

I'm gonna fire up the appropriate expl*sives

and we'll all hope so,
that you're gonna survive.

I'm gonna sit old Mr. Pettifer down.
in the middle bench.

- A man without one hand?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'll give him another fake
and I can blow it up.

Honestly, Owen...

That would be the brightest point
in my tragic life.

That sounds great!

It's time to talk about your dress.

I'm so excited,
that I can't breathe.

Yeah, I can feel it, too,
like I'm about to die.

First of all, the cloth for the dress.

- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- What do you think of...

...pine?

Pine? For a wedding dress?

Very timely at this point.

- On time? Where are you going?
- In my mother's mind.

Honestly, I was thinking
about something more clothing.

material, like...

...clothing... OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

What about this material?

This looks beautiful.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Especially with this.

- Skull and tibias.
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

How did you get on Harry's boat with the pirate?
and you stole his heart.

Oh, I'm not quite sure,

although maybe a tiny little pirate particle
she could be sweet.

Look, it's a preliminary sketch.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where do I start?

- I'm not sure about the parrot.
- She's gone. You scared her. She's gone.

- Or an eye patch.
- Oh?

Or a wooden leg.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

What do you like about it?

Uh, uh...

The beard's nice.

I don't think I'm wearing it at Mass.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, I got the hint.

You want something...
boring, boring, boring, boring.

Traditional, fluffy, white,
wonderful, what you'll be like an angel in.

- Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's your big day.

I'm... I'm... I'm... Well, I'll be back tomorrow.
with new ideas.

I can't wait.

Just one more idea.
for us bridesmaids.

I would never forgive myself,
if I hadn't shown it to you now.

Oh, I don't think so.

Oh, and there's a particular reason?

Your legs look like they're in this.
for a very short time, Alice.

I wouldn't want that.

Don't worry. Don't worry,
we have plenty of time.

You've decided,
who's going to lead the ceremony?

Pretty big choice,
because most of the people I know are pastors.

But in the end, I've decided
on college buddy Jeremy Ogilva.

Oh, so not the chief rabbi?

No, because he's Jewish, Alice.

It's a little anti-Semitic, isn't it?

The only reason you didn't invite him is because..,
that he's Jewish.

No, because... I'll explain it when
I'm gonna have a year off.

- And not a woman?
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I've decided that on that day, no one
he won't look any better than I do.

Although Jeremy's pretty handsome.

- Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

I think that in my time...
he liked me a little bit.

He called me at night and asked me,
if he can come over and pray with me.

I'd rather make out.

More like, "f*ck me... ".

But the beast has been tamed.
and now we're good friends.

Have you ever...?

I think that despite the alcohol and the problem.
with an erection, it was something similar.

There's a reason they called you
Granger Macka, huh?

No, no, no, no, no, Alice. They didn't call it
I'm Granger Macka. Now go.

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

You're sure,
that we're not gonna convince you to have a beard?

It's very unusual.

- Can I sleep on it?
- Yeah, okay.

- Good night, sir. Good night, sir.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

That's an interesting question.

What do you think is the biggest catastrophe in the world
the world will face the 21st century?

With global warming?
With global terrorism?

- Or our wedding on Saturday?
- I think this could be our wedding.

I know it's gonna be our wedding.

Okay, listen to me.

Why don't you get the guts

and you're not gonna tell them directly,
that you want to organize this on your own?

- That's not possible.
- You have to. And tonight.

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. I'll do it right before I leave.

I'll take a deep breath.
and I'm gonna put the coffee on the table.

- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I've made my decision.

Do I get a kiss for courage?

That's a very good idea.

- Good evening, pastor.
- ... tonight, Jim.

- It's a lovely night, pastor.
- Isn't that right?

What time's the service on Sunday?

First one at 10:30.

Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir.

Oh, just in time.
Come on, come on, come on, come on.

- Sit down. Sit down. We're just getting started.
- OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

Oh, guys.

And now..,
to honor the upcoming wedding,

please pay attention to the white fly,

Alice and I have decided to give you
a special wedding gift.

Geraldine Granger, this is your life.

Oh, Alice, Hugo, how wonderful.

I pulled it all off the net.
That's great.

Geraldine, you were born
November 14, 1964.

That's what happened.

In a quiet but picturesque town
Tiverton in Devon...

- Actually, not in Tiverton...
- ... at 3:45 p.m,

as a third child
Maureen and Edward Granger.

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- Do you recognize this voice?

I doubt it.

For the first six months.
you were still crying.

Yeah, that's your mother.

- No, it's not her.
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

You haven't seen each other in 20 years,

from a brawl about an unwanted pregnancy,

but we found her and she's here with us today.

- Come on, give me a hug.
- But she's not my mother.

- Come on, come on, come on. Make up your mind.
- But this really isn't my mother.

- I've never seen her before in my life.
- Are you sure?

Yeah. My mother was definitely dead,
when she was buried eight years ago.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Get out, you fake.

Look who's here. This is Mr. Marriott,
the headmaster of a primary school.

- I'm afraid not, I'm sorry.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- But this is definitely your grandmother.
- Oh! Oh!

We've been driving it all the way down the road.
from New Guinea.

New Guinea?

Come in, Matilda.

Oh, well, no.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
You'll catch a bus to the airport.

f*cking internet.

I'm sorry about the little turmoil.

I think we can start the evening now.
really cool. Jim?

Owen, the lights. We've asked everyone
He chose your picture. The one he likes best.

My favorite is a picture that shows
your arrival in town has been immortalized.

Owen, the projector, please.

We're all happy to have you.
Except for the father.

Well, I was a little unsure,
unhappy.

WOMAN: WOMAN: PASTOR WOMAN
IT'S THE WORST OF ALL THE DISEASES

Well, maybe a little unhappy.

WOMEN PASTORS
IS SATAN'S SEED.

Let's keep moving.
This is Alice's favorite picture.

Yeah, I was a little confused.

And these are pictures remembered by Jim.

[Jim] Oh, no, no, no, no.

I thought you were telling me
the most memorable b*stards.

The next photo shows the real
a summary of our lives together.

Oh! Oh!

[Hugo] sh*t. It's a power surge.
I'll be back in a minute.

[Jim] You remember the great


when we didn't have electricity
for the entire eight months?

[Geraldine] You're the only one who didn't, Jim.
You didn't pay your bills.

- Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?
- I'm afraid we've got some candles left.

- Frank.
- It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Thank you. Thank you.

Personally, I think it's great,
because we can just talk.

That's a good idea. If I could get started.

He's a real mystery to me.
why him, Geraldine?

Tell me honestly what Harry's got.
that I don't have?

Deodorant?

- That's clever.
- But seriously, why him?

I have no idea, really.

Love is a mystery, isn't it?

We don't know what we're looking for at all,
and then all of a sudden, "bang" and we find it.

Like Owen. How about you?

You know what you'd look for in a woman,
that you'd like to marry?

Yeah. Two legs.

Although maybe it's too meticulous.

I'd be happy if she had one,
or none, or... or four.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Jim, what would you be looking for
in a future wife?

So she doesn't have a husband.

It's best she doesn't have one.

Or to keep him out of the house a lot.
That's when you can figure it out.

Hugo?

I thought I was looking for someone
like Victoria Beckham.

Then I completely changed my mind.

Whoa!

Actually, I'm waiting
on Cheryl Tweedy from Girls Aloud.

But in the meantime, I am
pretty happy with Alice.

And you, Frank, who are you looking for?

Someone who's interested in

the procedures of Oxfordshire City Council,

is 25 years old and comes from
from South America.

- It's a complex combination.
- Yeah, it is.

- David, what about the woman of your dreams?
- You're the one.

- Oh! Oh!
- And Margaret Thatcher.

- Ah.
- Best time together.

Stop it, David.

But the truth is, after the last year.
I believed it,

that everyone's got somewhere
your other half.

Are you saying love is everywhere?

I don't think that's what I meant,

but that love can be found
even in the weirdest of places.

- In my barn, for example.
- And we're back to that again.

No, I'm serious.

A lot of people in town don't understand,
how much love

people in the countryside feel for their animals,

how attached we are to our own
dogs, horses or cows.

We have a real relationship with them.

That's a very good point, Owen.

And even if it sometimes happens
to the bedtime close-ups,

- it's just an extra bonus.
- Owen! Owen!

I'm just kidding.

Well, you're a bunch of crazy people,
unbridled b*stards,

but we had a little fun, didn't we?

Not-not-not-not-not-not-not...
Yeah, we did.

It's extraordinary when I think about it,
that no matter what,

you were here for us,

such stupid, snobby, stupid, snobbish...
ugly, dull and crazy.

- Me, which one?
- You're crazy, Jim.

- What about me?
- Blunt!

- And now it's all over.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I'll always have time for you.

But it's never gonna be the same again.

However, we all want to thank you
for the entire ten years of your life,

when we were at the top of your list.

- That's good.
- It was a great honor.

I'm the one who thanked you.

Now, fellas, it's time for me to go.

Before tomorrow's rehearsal, I must give you
of my beauty to rest.

You don't have to.
You're always beautiful to us.

Right, right, right.

But before I leave,
I have to say something important.

Did you just before that
Can I ask you something else?

It occurred to us that with the wedding.
maybe we were too insistent,

even though it's caused us
more joy and pride than anything.

Maybe you want us to leave you
the organization of the wedding?

Of course not.

Of course not.

I am absolutely certain that you are

the best wedding organizers
in the history of mankind.

- Now let's get going. Time to go home.
- Just one more bottle.

Yeah, come on!

For God's sake, leave me alone.

How I hate people.

- Jeremy!
- Gerry! God of the plague.

- God our friend.
- We're not gonna get out of his way.

God, let's go!

Oh, come in, please.

Oh! Oh!

That's so sweet of you.

Oh, not at all.
You know I'd do anything for you.

- What did we call you?
- I don't remember.

Noah's Ark. Because everyone was trying to get in.
on board, sometimes even in pairs.

You'd better watch out.
A lot of people can get this job.

No, you chose perfectly. I like it myself.
to call yourself Reverend SuperGlue.

- Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?
- The couples I tied up hold tight.

Holy sh*t.

For over 300 weddings, just five divorces.
and one m*rder.

This is Alice, my church.

It's Jeremy,
the pastor you're gonna be working with.

Oh, nice to meet you, Your Reverend.

As for the dress, I went into tradition.

I only have two small ones,
exciting ideas.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Who but you is
the most moral woman of the century?

- Cat Deeley?
- No, she's second.

- Oh! Oh!
- The first one is Mother Teresa.

Yes, of course.

So I thought,
that you will emphasize your kindness

putting it on when you're done
she walked down the aisle.

The mask with Mother Teresa's face.

What do you think? Your Reverend?

- Extraordinary.
-Yeah! So what?

Well, you've had worse ideas, Alice.

That's your former suggestion,
to stop the burning of coal

and replace it with pubic hair.

They're easier to get.
and we don't really need them.

So this is the second place on the list.
the worst ideas, and I say no.

Let's move on.

Okay, so my second idea is...

- ...this.
- Beautiful, Alice.

And when you stand in front of Harry,

these flowers will be the symbol of
the beauty of your marriage.

And then you'll do it.

As a symbol of the fact that marriage
it's also full of surprises.

- What if I don't like the idea?
- I'll be back with some new ones.

- Then I love this idea!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- I'll see you at rehearsal.
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

Oh, goodbye.

Okay, let's start rehearsing, shall we?

- Will you join us, Mr. Newitt?
- No, I'm just putting the expl*sives together.

Let's start with you and Mr. Horton.

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. I'll see you in a minute.

Mr. Trott will play the sublime
music for the entrance.

Strong blow, Mr. Trott.

I'm sorry, this is the wrong side.

So, music, music, music, music,
you're going forward.

I'll relax the atmoster with a joke.

Happy day,
virgin bride - just kidding.

Maybe a different joke,
who will bring us to the oath.

- I'm gonna need full names.
- Harry Jasper Kennedy.

- And Geraldine Granger.
- That's it? That's it?

That's my full name. All of it.
That's all there is to it. No other names.

- Is that true?
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

One hundred percent of the total, total truth.

Considering we're in the church,
in the presence of all-knowing God.

No, one hundred percent total, total untruth.

So what's your full name?
Come on, it can't be that bad.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

It was Mom's favorite book,
and the movie came in the year I was born.

If that makes you feel any better, I'll love you.
no matter what your name is.

- OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
- That's very good. Repeat after me.

I, Geraldine Julie Andrews.

d*ck Van d*ke

Su...
percalifragilisticexpealidocious...

- I, Geraldine...
- You know I'm not finished.

...Chim Chiminey Chim Chim Chiminey Chiminey
Chim Chim Chim Cher-ee Granger...

Oh, wonderful.

- Do you still love me?
- I'm losing confidence.

- You look relaxed.
- I'm finally done with Alice's accounts.

- I've got Owen left.
- That shouldn't be too hard.

No, apart from the fact that he reported
at the IRS that he died.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And now it's time to go to bed.
and you'd better go.

We're getting married tomorrow, man, and rules are rules.

That's too bad. These are my favorite pajamas.

I hate that I'm going to waste an opportunity
pictures of her from you.

Stop it, stop it, stop it. Be a good boy.

Oh, man. Are we really doing the right thing?

I know you do.

You know that everything I want..,

Just like Gabriel Oak said to Bathsheby.
in "Away from the hustle and bustle",

"At home, wherever I look,
it'll be you.

And wherever you look, you're gonna be...
I'll be there."

Except when I look at it.
from the toilet, of course.

In that case, I'd rather,
so I don't think you're in the room.

- Yes, of course.
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

- Then we'd better get married.
- Yeah, we'd better do that.

When I see you next time,

you will be a heavenly bride
heading for the altar.

Never in a word history:

"Don't give up hope, whatever happens.
were no more appropriate.

And in this case, I have a 50% chance,

that my wedding dress will be made of Styrofoam.

Oh, Harry, before you go,
there's something else I'd like to say...

...I'm the luckiest in the world,

partly because I have these
...devilish parishioners...

...and mostly because I have you.

And with you, I'll always be happy.

Without you, I could have
to be lonely forever.

Well, then... Thanks.

Nonsense. I bet you do,
that thousands of guys wanted to marry you.

No, it didn't.
For me, it's you. Just you.

And now a dream for beauty, a dream for beauty...

If this is to be the biggest fiasco
in contemporary history,

I want to get enough sleep,
to be able to see it.

That's Harry for a kiss.

- Owen.
- Pastor.

I've got an important case that doesn't stand for delay.

Oh. Oh.

Can we be quick? I'm leaving tomorrow.
get married and I need to get some sleep.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I think there have been several times in the past...
I made it clear that you would be

welcome in my marriage bed,

as a beloved wife and f*ck.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you suggested it once or twice.

I'm standing right here in front of you because I feel..,
I have to say it again.

And that's before you bond forever.

It's never too late to change your mind.

If they're disturbing you in me...
some tiny little details,

I can change them, I really can.

- No, you can't.
- Okay, I can't.

But in the changing one.
to the world around us all the time,

maybe it's the unchangeable man
is exactly what you need.

Everything that's mine will belong to you.
and I'm not just talking about my cough.

Forgive the directness, Owen,
but if you were the last guy on Earth,

I wouldn't marry you.
I'd marry a pole.

Fair enough. I'll go my way.

Back to the boulevard of broken dreams.

Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Good night, sir. Good night, sir.

- c*ck, pillowcases.
- They're waiting.

The damn thing's nesting.

I don't usually use violence, but...

Jim. I don't think you're here.
to propose to me, huh?

Not-not-not-not-not-not-not... Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

- Become my wife.
- Jim, that's very kind of you...

- You mean "yes"?
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- No, no, no, no, no, no, what?
- What do you mean, what do you mean?

You just said no, no, no, no, no.

And from my experience,
that when you say "no, no, no, no, no, no,"

that sentence isn't finished yet.

I've finished my sentence, Jim.
and the answer is definitely no.

I love you, Jim.

You're a strange and wonderful mistake,
that God created at the end of the 19th century,

but I don't think so,
so that we can be destined for each other.

Honestly.

And last night was meaningless.
sports sex

is not an option?

He doesn't come in, yes, yes, yes, yes...

Who the hell is that? Bill Clinton?

- Jeremy, thank God. Come in.
- Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir.

Sit down. Sit down. I'll make some tea.

Really, you wouldn't believe it,
what was going on here tonight.

Men are like buses.

You've been waiting your whole life for one,
who would propose to you,

and then all of a sudden, they show up
one by one.

- I was just getting into bed...
- Gerry, I can't do this.

- Will you marry me?
- What's that?

Since that night in Suffolk,
there was no one else.

What night in Suffolk?
A... that night in Suffolk.

Excuse me, sir? Do I sense hesitation?

Can I hope that somewhere out there...
the word "yes" is deeply smouldering?

No, there's a deep smouldering somewhere out there.

"Get up now, old captain."

Come on, get up.
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. Go home, you fool.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Does that mean I have to ask
someone else to lead the mass?

Of course not. I'll be a professional.
My feelings won't get in the way.

I hope so, Jeremy Arthur Ogilvy.

Otherwise, it's gonna be
my wedding and your funeral. Go, go, go.

I'm really sorry.

Oh! Oh!

Hello? Hello?

No, Jeremy, I don't want you to come in.
to say a prayer with me tonight.

Yeah, Jeremy, banging good night.
is completely out of the question.

Come on, go home!

Get out of here.

Oh, sweet God!

- Hi, Aliice.
- Promised wake-up call.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, boy.

- That's it?
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

I hope you like it.

Yeah, me too.

Ah!

Amazing outfit for a bridesmaid.
What do you think is behind this?

It's a perfect copy of the costume.
worn by Doctor Who

played by actor David Tennant.

Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah? Why would I do that?

I'm a Time Lord watching
to your marriage through eternity.

That's great. That's great.
And the other two bridesmaids?

Wait till you see this.

I've got a bad feeling about this.

Absolutely justified.

- Did you sleep well?
- No, not really.

I couldn't sleep until four o'clock.
because of all the excitement.

How much time do we have before Mass?

- Five minutes.
- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

- Five minutes?
- I'll put the kettle on.

Five minutes?!

It's a big day. You needed
sleep for beauty, so I thought...

No! You can't think!

You didn't notice it after
all these years?

Every time
when you think you think you're thinking

you should think:
I can't think!

That's why everything I think I'm gonna think about
"must be wrong!

Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!

Oh, great. Give me that.

If I dress this up and look like
like Twankey's Widow,

played by an actor
Christopher Biggins,

I'm gonna f*cking k*ll you!

- Is she ready?
- Not exactly.

Check the church again.
We'll be there in three minutes.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

- Are you okay? Are you okay?
- Jeremy's late.

- What if he doesn't show up at all?
- Don't worry, Hugo.

I don't think that's a problem.

You have two minutes! Hurry up! Hurry up!

[Geraldine] All right, all right, all right.
I'm going down.

Actually, she's pretty good.

Thank you so much, baby.

- You look so beautiful!
- Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?

If we add a reed,

it's gonna be unbelievable.

- A tunic?
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

Ice cream on the cake.

Oh, there's the beard.

That's the cherry.

- Is that beard made of horsehair?
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

It itches because I'm allergic to horsehair.

- Take it off!
- Take it off, take it off. Yeah, that's right.

Alice, this reed is mercilessly
...it's cutting itself. It's not a match.

- It's cutting itself.
- Oh, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK.

- Take it off me.
- Oooo!

Oh, sh*t! Oh, sh*t! Oh, sh*t!

Is everything ready?

Oh, dear God. Look at you. Look at you.

- Okay? Okay.
- It's perfect.

You're perfect,
and your car drove over.

The car? I mean, the church is right next door.

I know, but we insist that our pastoral ministry

she came in style for her wedding.

Thanks, man.
I'm so sorry about that beard, Aliice.

- She'd look great.
- Yeah, I'm sure you do.

[GeraIdine] Such a shame.

Your driver's waiting.

Oh, this is perfect.

Almost perfect.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Here, here, here was the worst.

They probably won't notice at all.

- Honestly.
- I think they'll notice.

David. David.

Two minutes, okay? Two minutes.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here,
that in the face of God.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
The power of habit. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

It's you. It's you.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here,

that in the face of God.
and bring all the people together...

this fantastic, wonderful woman...

...and that accountant.
a sacred matrimonial knot.

If anyone knows the reason,

for which these two should not contain
marry him, let him reveal it now,

or take him to his grave.

No one? It really doesn't have to be
no big deal.

I'll give you more time.
There's no hurry.

Okay, that's enough.

Marriage is God's gift in creation.

by which Harry and... Geraldine...

Um... [Chuckles]

they can know the grace of God.

...can know the grace of God.

We pray with them that God and the Holy Spirit
he led and strengthened them.

And as a sign of your vow...
you're gonna put on your wedding rings.

Can the trustee of the wedding ring occur?

Do you have rings?

Oh, rings!

I put them on so I couldn't lose them.

- Very clever, Hugo.
- Yeah, I think so, too.

g*dd*mn it, man.

So far, it's been going smoothly.

Today's reading
from the Gospel of St. Matthew,

we'll start with Chapter One,
Verse One.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Looks like it,
I lost my glasses somewhere.

Nicole and Tom,

Jennifer and Brad,

it was so sweet.
and suddenly so many flaws.

Fate quickly changes the word "I want",

into a juicy "get lost, get lost."

But not today,

today I have faith in this marriage like steel,

Two pigeons coo all day long.

I hope you don't become a jerk!

...but I promise to love and respect you.
until death disconnects us,

until the time when the Supreme God
we're gonna love to be disconnected.

and until now, I vow to be faithful to you.

If you say so.

Geraldine, repeat after me.

I, Geraldine Julie... Granger...

I, Geraldine Julie Granger...

...I take you, Jeremy Arthur OgiIvy...

...I take you, Harry Jasper Kennedy,

and I vow not to leave you

neither good nor bad,

neither in wealth nor in poverty,

not in health, not in sickness,

but I promise to love and respect you.
until death disconnects us.

until the time when the Supreme God
we're gonna love to be disconnected.

and until now, I vow to be faithful to you.

Harry and Geraldine
they're in a sacred marriage,

and they declared it by exchanging
very cheap rings, indeed.

I pronounce them husband and wife forever.

You can kiss the bride.

I'm expecting our new minister,

Unless you're the new pastor,
the woman they sent us,

as some kind of crazy joke.

DEARLY BELOVED! AND THAT'S NOT ALL!

There's an extra scene after the subtitles,
with a word-based joke.

Because I didn't find in my head
nothing that would make sense of a joke,

I'M ANNOUNCING A CONTEST
FOR THE BEST TRANSLATION!

The cut out fragment will be placed extra
on my channel with the name of the translator!

" TO WORK ] !!!

Remember about 1% in your PITCH!!!!!

Details can be found in the info below the video.

Thank you. Justyna240266.

- Right, here's a good one.
- Oh, great.

A boy is born with no body,
no arms, no Iegs.

- In fact, he's just a head.
- Oh, shame.

Yeah, but his dad Ioves him,
and on his 18th birthday

he takes him down to the pub
for his first pint

and he takes a sip and suddenly,
whoosh, out pIops his torso.

- Yeah!
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everyone in the bar says,
Take another sip!

So he does and suddenIy,
whoosh, out pIop his two arms.

PeopIe say aIcohoI is so bad for you.
They are so wrong.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he takes his third sip and
suddenly, whoosh, out pIop his two Iegs.

He's so excited
that he runs out into the street,

straight into the path of an oncoming
truck and, bang, he's kiIIed instantIy.

And the bartender says to his dad, That
boy shouId've quit whiIe he was ahead.

D'you get it?

That is the saddest story ever.

Just when he gets a body, he dies.

- Right.
- If onIy he hadn't gone to the pub.

That head couId have Iived for years.

It's just a joke, AIice.

It's no joke to his father.
He's just Iost his son.

There is no son.

Not any more.
He's squashed under a truck.

AIice, it's a joke
because the characters are fictitious

and the story is an invention

and the tasteIess comedy
derives from a pIay on words

invoIving the noun, a "head",
and an adverb, "ahead".

Oh, I get it!

WhiIe he was a head.

That's hiIarious!

Quit whiIe he's ahead!

- Can we go on on our honeymoon now?
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've just got to kiII her.