01x07 - Calling All Cars

[bunniefuu]

♪ Once upon a time in Toontown ♪

♪ There was a cat that had it all ♪

♪ Fortune and fame, top of the game ♪

♪ Up until he hit the wall ♪

♪ Now he makes a livin' downtown ♪

♪ Walkin' on a brand new beat ♪

♪ Slippin' through the new day
Trippin' on a two-way ♪

♪ Ticket down a one-way street
Beep beep beep ♪

♪ Who's that cat ♪

[siren]

♪ Crackin' up crime? ♪

♪ Stoppin' the clock ♪

[clock ticking]

♪ Hope he gets here on time ♪

[old car horn]

-♪ Let's go--
-Bonkers ♪

♪ Yeah! Totally nuts ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-No ifs, ands or but buts ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Someone's stealin' the show ♪

♪ Can't stay, I gotta go, go! Oh, no! ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Things gettin' outta control ♪

♪ Now you're caught in a trap
Ready to snap ♪

♪ Snappin' the cap
And you're takin' the rap ♪

♪ But ya can't hold back ♪
♪ That wacky attack ♪

♪ That's why you're still a star ♪

-♪ 'Cause you're--
-Bonkers ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Bonkers ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

♪ Wherever you-- wherever you--
♪ Wherever you-- ♪

♪ Wherever you are ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

Absolutely not! No way!

Never! Ix-Nay! Forget about it!

Come on Lucky, let me drive.

Just once around the block.

A toon drive?

I know better than to trust
a toon especially behind the wheel.

Besides, the last time you drove,

I ended up in my shorts
on top of city hall.

I don't like looking ludicrous.

You call that ludicrous?
This is ludicrous.

[engine won't start]

What's wrong with this car?
Don't touch a thing. Not a thing.

I'll take care of this little problem.

I'll just tighten this little baby here,
adjust this, gotta connect that, and...

yeow!

That ought to do it.

[engine sputters]

Get a load of that cop.

My fog lights are brighter than he is.

Course, we could use
a cop like that, right, boys?

-Oh, yes, Ma.
-Oh yeah. That's so right, Ma.

-Uh-huh. That's a fact. Yes, Ma'am.
-And why would that be?

I don't know.

Because we steal car parts.

And you know who has the finest bumpers,
headlights, fenders, and engines?

The city's finest.

[laughs]

Now, all I have to do is get
on their good side,

and we'll have enough cop car
parts to win the contest.

Okay, Lucky.

Now it's my turn to fix the car.

Sorry, but the following scene may contain
violence unsuitable for children.

[pounding, sawing, and drilling]

Now try it.

[engine starts]

So what do you say?
I fixed the car. Now can I drive it?

Okay, but be careful.

-Right!
-I just had it cleaned.

-No problem-o.
-Remember, we're on patrol.

Relax! They don't call me
Bonkers D. Bobcat for nothing, you know.

The "D" stands for driver extraordinaire.

Yeah right. Last week,
you said it stood for d-serves a raise.

Trust me.

[tires squealing]

What! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

Bonkers, when the sign says the speed
limit's 20, how fast you suppose to go?

Is this a trick question?

-The answer is 20. 20. 20!


That would be 60, right?

-That's it. Pull over.
-Pull over? Oh, you mean turn!

[man] Get him outta here!

Whaa!

[chicken clucks]

[chickens clucking]

Well, once again you drive,
and I end up looking ludicrous.

Yeah, but on you, it looks so good.

[tow truck honks]

Oh, yoo-hoo. Sonny boy.

You need some help? A toon tow truck.

Oh, boy. We're saved!

[blows horn]

A toon tow truck. Great.

Just what I need...
another toon in my life.

Sounds like you could use some
of Ma's special home-baked cookies.

-Thanks. I am a little peckish.
-[chicken clucks]

Hmmm. Not bad.

-You oughta try 'em.
-Go ahead, captain.

Have a cookie.

Well, technically, I'm just a lieutenant.
Almost a lieutenant.

Oh, of course.

I should have known a captain
wouldn't be so very young looking.

Don't expect me to fall
for that toon flattery.

That's not bad, though. Cinnamon, right?
Gee, I love cinnamon. Mmm.

See Lucky? If you just give
toons a chance,

you might like 'em.
Yeah, that is cinnamon.

Yeah. Right. Fine. Now just get
me back to the station, okay?

You got it.

Ma's towing service aims to please.
Everything's free of charge.

You just relax, sit back,
and put your feet up.

Not a lot of room in this thing.
Never rode a toon before.

Don't forget me!

Sorry, no room.

Subordinates ride in the back.

It's Bonkers D! D for driver Bobcat

leading the pack 'round the turn
down the straightaway.

He passes Parnelli and ready spaghetti
to take the checkered flag!

Oh, Lucky! Yoo-hoo!

Did someone say something?

Oh, it's just a little annoying... rattle.

Here. Have some milk.

Now, anything else that Ma can
do to make your life easier?

Not unless you can fix
that pathetic patrol car.

I'll not only fix your car,
I'll have it painted and polished

to look like new.

You'd do all that?

Well, what d'ya know. I never thought
toons liked to work.

What about me? I like to work,
sorta, kinda, once in a while.

And speaking of work,

how about us chasing down some crooks,
Lucky, old pal, buddy partner... whoa!

There's that annoying little rattle again.

You know, I'm starting to see
why Lucky doesn't like toons.

Maybe I can help you
chase down some crooks.

Wait just a rootin' tootin' minute.
You can't help him. That's my job.

Besides, there's the police garage,
and you've got to drop this car off.

You're absolutely right.

-Maybe I should have rephrased that.
-Where's Bonkers going?

He said something about dropping
the car off at the police garage.

Have another cookie.

[crashes]

You know, I don't think she likes me.
Good thing I was wearing a helmet.

[chuckles]

[laughs] Just as I thought.

Everything is working out
slick as motor oil.

Just look at all those
lovely cop car parts.

I mean, have you ever seen
a bumper with such beauty?

Yeah but... are you sure working out
of the police garage is safe?

Safe as a seat belt.

That human cop thinks I'm the greatest
thing on four wheels.

The only problem
might be that pesky toon cop.

Now, gather up all those parts,
let's chrome 'em.

Gorgeous!

Simply gorgeous!

[clunks]

Someone's coming. Quick! Hide!

Hey, what are you doing here?
Who are you talking to?

Goodness. Aren't we the one
full of questions?

Yeah. I got them from this book
I checked out of the library called

Questions To Ask for Being Ignored
By A Partner and His New Toon Friend.

[yawn]

Catchy title.

Say, what's this?

Stop!

Is that another question from your book?

You don't like me, do you?

In case you're wondering,
that's question number 256.

You know, I'd say I was
going to miss you, but I'm not.

Gee, does this will I be overdue
on my library book?

You know Ma, we got to talk.

Better save your breath.
It'll probably be your last.

[Lucky] Bonkers, are you in there?

Whew! Close one.

Oh, officer Piquel.

Uh, I was just about
to fix your old partner...

I mean, your old patrol car.

No time for that.

Chief Kanifky called me at home.

We've got a positive ID
on these crooks we been chasin'.

Oh! My goodness! I don't believe it!

What is it?

Oh, no, no. It's nothing.

Besides, I shouldn't get involved
in police business.

I'm just a toon tow truck.

Don't be ridiculous. What is it?

It's just that I've seen those two before.

In fact, I think,
I could lead you right to 'em.

Then what are we waiting for? Let's go.

Lucky, can we talk... alone? Don't let
that little gas guzzler fool you.

My toon intuition tells me
not to trust her.

What your kidding.
You could learn from that toon.

She's a hard worker.

[dings]

Ooh! That was fun.

So, the way I got it figured,
there must be a ringleader.

And somewhere in this police file,
there's bound to be a clue.

[Bonkers] Pardon me, Ma? Yoo-hoo.

Is something wrong?

Something wrong? Sure.
But who am I to complain?

There are amusement parks that charge
good money for a ride like this.

Well, just hold tight.

Here comes a truck.

I don't see a... truck!

-[crunch]
-[cat yowling]

Bonkers, will you stop fooling around?

We're on a case, remember?

Oh, Bonkers?

Low bridge!

[gasping]

Hiya, Bonko. What's the Matter?
You seem winded.

You know, for somebody who goofs off
so much, you sure tire easily.

Here. Make yourself useful. Look at this
see if you can come up with any leads.

You got it, partner!

Oh, this is great,
you and me solving crimes.

What a team! Amigos,
compadres, pals to the end.

Whatever.

Perfect. Now I can get rid of that toon
cop and the police file.

Aha! I figured it out!

You did?

Yep. Whoever's taking these
crime scene photos

must be holding the camera upside down.

You're holding the file upside down.

Oopsie.

[alarm rings]

[yelping]

What is it with you?

All day. All you want
to do is play, play, play.

Will that be airmail or parcel post?

Australia's not what
I thought it would be.

There's definitely something not
right about that Ma.

If only I could prove something. If only
I could get a clue, get some evidence.

Get a--

[clang]

Lucky break.

-[metal groaning]
-[clanking]

Hey, you two! Stop! Cease! Desist!

-Uh-oh.
-Uh-oh.

As the duly authorized officer of the law,

I think I've seen you two
guys before, haven't I?

Yeah. We wasn't the ones
you saw on that wanted poster.

Them was two completely other guys.

Then what, may I ask, are these?

These ain't stolen. We found 'em.

And we're returning them now
to their rightful owners.

Who says the youth of today
aren't out to help?

Still, there's something about those
two mugs that seems familiar.

Mugs! That's it!

[sighs]

Whoo!

Boy, are you glad to see me?

I don't think so.

Say, aren't you supposed to be on a case?

Ma's handling it.

She's been off looking for those crooks
while you've been playing.

In fact, she ought to be
bringing them in any time now.

I finally found a toon I can count on,
unlike some toons I know.

By the way where have you been?

Research! I have incontrovertible proof

that Ma is the most wanted
tow truck in America.

Wanted for what, the best cookies in town?

Or do I smell jealousy?

Jealousy? No, no.

I just know a good toon from a bad toon.

Here. Take a look, see at this mug shot.

I don't believe it.

That's Ma!

Better known to her friends as Ma Parker,
the notorious and noxious queen of crime!

[screaming]

Ma was the first toon I ever trusted,

and she turns out to be
the ringleader I've been looking for.

Boy, did she take me for a ride.

Well, she is a tow truck.

Well, kick the dog and spit in the fire.
It looks like your plan worked, Ma.

Yeah. Your masterpiece is almost finished.

[Lucky] You're half right.
Your plan didn't work.

But you are finished.

Oh, but that's where you're wrong.

You're the ones who are finished.
Let's chrome 'em, boys!

Boy, wow...

Who would've thought that sweet
old Ma could be a no-good criminal?

You did.

We got her where we want her now.

Brilliant.

Look, why don't you just dip us
and get it over with.

'Cause then we couldn't tells
yous our plan.

So all this time,
you lied about everything.

Not everything. She fixed our patrol car.

I can't believe I was suckered by a toon.

[laughs] Well, if you can't believe that,
wait until you see this.

Okay, boys.

Lower her down!

You like my new outfit?

We made it ourselves.

From genuine stolen cop car parts.

I'm competing in today's monster truck
demolition competition.

And with this armor protecting me,
nobody else has got a chance.

You can't go around stealing
and tieing up detectives.

Yeah! You'll pay for this.

Wrong! I'm gonna get paid for this.

When I win, I'll be up to my rear-view
mirrors in product endorsements.

And you two will be nothing
but a couple of chrome hood ornaments.

Come on, boys. We got a race to win!

Ya-hoo!

All right! Let's go!

Bye-bye, officers.

We're doomed! Doomed, I say!
And you know what?

Doomed always makes me so thirsty.

[slurps] Ah. That's much better.

Now see where was I? Oh, yeah.

-We're doomed! Doomed, I say!
-Bonkers!

How rude. I didn't get you a soda.

Bonkers, you're unchained. You're free.

Hey! What do you know?

Come on. We better hurry
before Ma gets away.

Aren't you forgetting something?

Let me see... I turned off the lights,

before I left the house,
I brushed up after every meal--

-[Lucky] Get me down!
-10-4.

[crashes]

Ooh. Chrome shoes.
Now, that is a bold fashion statement.

-I can't drive like this.
-No problem-o.

Here's your limo.

Oh, boy.

[announcer] Yes, I have never
seen like anything like it folks!

This years Monster Truck
Demolition Competition...

[announces indistinctly]

[announcer] The thrills! The spills!

[metal banging]

[announcer] My, oh my, oh my!

Hey! [laughs]

I hope I'm not too late.

[tires squealing]

[announcer] And lookie here! Yet another
late entry ladies and gentlemen!

Oh, boy! This is my dream come true.

And my nightmare.

Just remember be careful. We're on
police business. Hey, where you going?

[whistle]

-Hoo-hoo!
-All right!

Roll it.

Here, you better wear this.

I hope you know what you're doing.

Trust me. Ready, guys? Rock 'n' roll!

-Hoo-hoo!
-All right!

Pull over, Ma! We're taking you in!

Not in that old heap, you're not. [laughs]

[crashing]

Don't go away.

Bonkers! Wait! I can't drive!
I got chrome shoes!

Shh! Everybody'll want some.

En garde, Hook!

-Aha! Take that!
-[metal clanking]

And that! And that!

Okay, minor setback.

Bonkers, will you just arrest her
and stop clowning around?

[crunches]

[crunches]

[tire snarls]

[announcer] That's it, folks.
We're to our final two competitors,

but that's going to be quite a battle.
Oh my, oh my, oh my!

Guess I'll just have to pull your plugs.

[yelps]

Lucky! Oh, no!

[bell dings]

Say, you don't happen
to be ticklish, do you?

[laughing]

Knock that off!

Hey! Give me back my hook!

-Excuse me, I'll check under the hood.
-No! No, don't!

No! That's not fair!

No!

Gotcha!

[crowd cheers]

Nice work, partner.

Now, will you toons get me down from here?

Sure, pal. No problem.

Not so fast, boys.

[announcer] My oh, my oh, my.

Looks like we've got a new winner.

Anything you like
to say to the folks at home.

The folks at-- Oh, well...

it's really quite an honor.
You know, I couldn't have done it

without
Bonkers. D... "D" for driver... Bobcat.

My, oh my, oh my!

[theme music playing]