01x08 - Fall Apart b*mb Squad

[bunniefuu]

♪ Once upon a time in Toontown ♪

♪ There was a cat that had it all ♪

♪ Fortune and fame, top of the game ♪

♪ Up until he hit the wall ♪

♪ Now he makes a livin' downtown ♪

♪ Walkin' on a brand new beat ♪

♪ Slippin' through the new day
Trippin' on a two-way ♪

♪ Ticket down a one-way street
Beep beep beep ♪

♪ Who's that cat ♪

[siren]

♪ Crackin' up crime? ♪

♪ Stoppin' the clock ♪

[clock ticking]

♪ Hope he gets here on time ♪

[old car horn]

-♪ Let's go--
-Bonkers ♪

♪ Yeah! Totally nuts ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-No ifs, ands or but buts ♪

- ♪ Bonkers
-Someone's stealin' the show ♪

♪ Can't stay, I gotta go, go! Oh, no! ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Things gettin' outta control ♪

♪ Now you're caught in a trap
Ready to snap ♪

♪ Snappin' the cap
And you're takin' the rap ♪

♪ But ya can't hold back ♪
That wacky attack ♪

♪ That's why you're still a star ♪

-♪ 'Cause you're--
-Bonkers ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Bonkers ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

♪ Wherever you-- wherever you--
♪ Wherever you-- ♪

♪ Wherever you are ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

-[audience laughing]
-[woman] That's so true!

[comedian] No, no. Really, really.
True story.

So I said to my mother-in-law,
if your face was a postage stamp,

no one would lick it.

-I mean, come on. Is it just me or what?
-[audience laughing]

Really. So she told me
that when I was born,

I was so ugly, the doctors didn't know
which end to diaper.

I mean, who are these doctors?

I ask you, who are these doctors?

[audience laughing]

Thank you. I gotta tell ya,
you have wonderful taste.

Who are you people
with all this wonderful taste?

Hey, you call that comedy? Huh?

Amateurs. Insults. Put-downs.

Don't you know any jokes besides
why you shaved every morning?

Oh, hello. A heckler?

Well, hey, why don't you come up here
and see if you can do any better?

Are you kidding?

I thought you'd never ask.

Excuse me. Woah! Coming through.
Move over. Move those cyclones.

Watch out. Why I oughta... oh.

I got to tell you, no, you're a Lucky
audience tonight, ladies and gentlemen.

No, no. No, that's right.
Because tonight, for no extra charge,

not one cent more, you get to see a real
live heckler come up onstage and b*mb.

-[audio feedback]
-Now, for some real comedy.

Okay, you ready? I gotta tell ya,
I love this joke.

Okay. What is the last thing...
I can't stand it...

What is the last that goes through a bug's
mind when it hits the windshield?

-His hind legs! [laughing]
-[rim shot]

Hey, come on, folks. What's the matter?

I know you're out there.
I can hear your teeth chattering.

You get it, teeth chattering? Forget it.

It's getting warm in here.
You mind if I take off my hat and coat?

Now we have a wardrobe change...

huh?

Oh man, this happens every time
I try to be funny.

It really ticks me off!

You see that?

There it goes again.

Now, instead of a pleasant
evening of side-splitting humor,

you gotta run for your lives!

[all screaming]

Gee, I gotta tell ya, this is not the kind
of bang with which I enjoy

ending my performance.

It is a heck of a way to make a career
change when you're stuck with a bad timer.

You never know whether it's going to go
off in the middle of your punch line.

-[clock timer goes off]
-[expl*si*n]

[chief] This has simply got to stop.

Every time I try one these doohickies,
it turns out to be defective.

Yes sir, I see you...

You called us in to go after
defective puzzle distributors?

What? No. Never mind why I called you in.
Get me out of this.

It's easy, Chief.

-All you have to do is--
-[Lucky] Ahem, Bonkers.

I believe it is up to me, the senior
officer, to handle this little emergency.

Of course, how silly of me,
chain of command-wise.

It's a snap, Sir.

So all you have to do is...

-I think... just hold still for me, Sir.
-Oh! Ow!

Well you're absolutely correct, Sir.

Now, this is a very defective puzzle.

I don't care how correct I am.
Get off my lap!

What have you got to say for yourself?

Um, well, you see, sir...

Don't embarrass him, chief.

Officer Piquel is always going
out of his way to make me look good.

You know, pretending to be a boob
to build up my confidence.

Oh, well, that's fine.

Confidence is a wonderful thing.

You're gonna need plenty
of it on this assignment, let me tell ya.

And exactly what assignment is that, Sir?

Why that b*mber fellow.
What else have I been talking about?

Well, first we talked about puzzles,
and then it was about having confidence.

Well, I'm talking about
him now, and... oh!

[thuds]

Well now, where am I?

Telling us about the b*mber, sir.

Oh, yes. Find him. Stop him.

Isn't this something
for the b*mb squad, sir?

Are you telling me
you can't handle this case?

Handle it? Of course we can handle it.

Look at this face.

The lines of learning, the pouches or
professionalism, the bags of braininess.

Please. I just had breakfast.

Lucky's been on top of this case
from the very first expl*si*n.

-I have?
-He has?

Sure! He has an expert
in expl*sives all lined up.

-He does?
-I do?

[Bonkers] Absolutely.

We never said anything

because we didn't want to horn
in on the b*mb squad's territory.

We didn't?

Well, now that you mention it, the b*mb
squad thought it was more your case,

it being a toon b*mb, and all.

-You hear that, Lucky? It's our case.
-Swell.

Glad to see you're on top of this, Raquel.

[both] That's Piquel, sir.

Because the entire city
is depending on you.

I wouldn't want to be in your shoes
if you, excuse the expression,

blow this one. [giggles]

What in the...

oh. Well, go get that b*mb.

I have other important-type things to do.

-[Lucky] Yes, sir.
-[Bonkers] Right away, chiefster.

I wonder if the Mayor
would like this thingie?

[Lucky] Bonkers, do you know anything
at all about expl*sives?

[Bonkers] No. You?

[Lucky] Uh-uh.

[Bonkers] We got the case anyway.

[Lucky] Yeah, that's great.

Lucky, Luckamio, Lucksterino.
You're forgetting our expert.

What expert?

You can't just go and lie
to the chief of police like that.

We don't have an expert.

Oh, yes, we do.

Oh, no, we don't.

Fall-Apart rabbit is our b*mb expert?

Hey, no stunt man in the history

of toons has been blown
up more times than old Fall-Apart.

Besides, he hasn't worked in months.

You know, that's not the worst
qualification

for an expl*sives expert to have.

Fall-Apart,
we just may be able to use you.

Oh golly, gee. Thanks, Lucky.
You don't know what this means to me.

This is the greatest moment of my life.

Even better than when I ate paste
in grade school.

I love you.

-Don't do that to my hand!
-Okay.

There's got to be a regulation somewhere
about making a cop's hand slippery.

Okay, okay, okay!

Exactly what it is that you would like me
to do that I can do exactly for you

would you like?

[chuckles] We'll tell ya. Just, uh...
no more smooching, okay?

Okay.

You're gonna be the expert
on our very own b*mb squad!

Fantastic! I've always wanted to be a...

[stuttering] b*mb expert!

You're gonna need all the luck
you can get.

[Lucky clears throat] Okay, Fall-Apart.

Now, the first thing we have
to do is establish just how much

you know about bombs.

Okay. I give up. How much?

See, Lucky? He's perfect.

A blank page for us to write on.

A block of marble to sculpt into a
masterpiece.

A big orange pumpkin
to carve a silly face upon.

I think mother nature beat us to it.

Don't you worry, Lucky. 'cause
Fall-Apart's a great student.

Just a little crash course in b*mb
disposal and he'll be all set.

Don't say "crash."

Okay, now what we have here
is your typical K-58 b*mb.

Now, the book says we have
to pull the number three pin.

One, two...

[mumbling] One, two...

Uh...

Come on, Lucky. Give him a chance.

♪ Eenie meenie miney moe
You're the pin I'm looking for ♪

See, Lucky? I told you he could take it.

I'm not worried about him being able
to take it.

[thuds]

Okay, Fall-Apart.
This is a timer-set b*mb.

You'll have 30 seconds to disarm it
once I activate it.

-Okay?
-Okay.

[timer ticking]

-[ticking stops]
-[Lucky] You did it!

I did? Hey-hey!

[both] ♪ Fall-Apart! Fall-Apart!
Waaaay apart! ♪

♪ Hoo! Fall-Apart! Fall-Apart!
Waaay apart! ♪

And the crowd goes wild!

-[imitates cheering crowd]
-[timer resumes ticking]

-Oh.
-Bad move.

[Lucky] Okay,

to disarm this b*mb,
you must cut the red wire.

Okay!

That's the red wire. Got it?

Uh, blue... yellow...

Red!

I really think he's gonna
get it this time, Lucky.

Yeah, well, if he does at least
he'll be the only one.

[Fall-Apart] The red one.
Red is the color of grass, right?

Oops again. I forgot. Color blind.

Uh-oh.

You know, I think he's getting
the hang of this. [coughs]

Darn close.

[Fall-Apart] Oh! Come on! Come on!
I'm ready for this guy.

Opportunity's knocking,
and I'm just the bunny to open the door.

I feel like a new rabbit!

I'm a trained professional now, you know.

Oh, oh, baby, just wait till
they get a load of this joke.

[laughing]

There is not going
to be any indiscriminate booms

while I have anything to say about it.

[Lucky] Why is he dressed like a
baseball training camp kitchen?

That's all he could find.

The other equipment
was ruined in training, remember?

Well, what are we wating for?
Let's show what we can do.

I don't want to miss my big chance.

Well, you see Fall-Apart,

we are required to follow certain police
procedures that have been carefully

established to maximize our efficiency.

Wow! What's that mean?

Nobody's told us what to do yet.

[Broderick] Hey-hey-hey-hey, hubba-hubba!

What are you sitting around for?
Toon b*mb reported

raising a ruckus at the
complex movie complex.

Code three. Ten, four. 86.
Hike. Go, go, go!

There it is!

Here we go! D-day minus zero.

Incoming! Duck and cover!

Hit the dirt! Kiss your wife goodbye.

Fire in the hole. Bombs away.
Look out, baby.

The b*mb is inside, not out here.

Now, shh!

Whatever happens, we have to make sure
no innocent bystanders are hurt.

[crowd shouting]

[Lucky] Citizens, please!
Ladies and gentlemen!

Ow! That hurt! Watch the high heels!

[Bonkers] Great crowd control, partner.
Not a single civilian was hurt.

[Lucky] Oh, that makes me
feel much better.

[clock ticking]

Hey, guys, sounds like
someone dropped their watch.

I'll turn it in to lost and found.

-Fall-Apart!
-Don't!

-[ringing]
-[exploding]

[Lucky] No, those are his ears.

-[Fall-Apart] What?
-[Bonkers] I know they're his ears.

[Lucky] Then why are you trying to attach
them to his shoulders blades?

-[Fall-Apart] What?
-[Bonkers] I was not trying to--

[Broderick] Ten, four. Ten, four.
Code three.

Stop admiring yourselves
in the rearview mirror

and put the pedal to the metal.

There's a suspicious-looking
toon b*mb reported in the studio

of the really fun news and sports hour.

Now haul bumper. And I mean haul!

Oh, yeah, yeah. Ten, four. Ten, four.

What?

And now, it's time for
the day in sports. Wally?

Hey! Thank you, Constance.

Well, folks, today's playoff game hardly
resembled a display of pro football.

No, it was more of a joke, as the Rams--

[Manny] Hey, did somebody say joke?

Have I got a joke for you.

Holy, it's a b*mb!

[sirens blaring]

[Lucky] Alright, gentlemen.
Don't anybody panic.

-[woman] A b*mb!
-[crowd screaming]

[Lucky] Okay, you can panic now.

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Lucky, are you all right?

I really hate it when they do that.

'Kay, yeah. Where was I?

That's right. A joke.

Why-- why, did you hear about the guy
who put instant coffee in his microwave?

Ha ha! He went back in time.

[laughing]

Hold it right there, boom-breath.

The toon b*mb squad's here.
And I warn ya, I've been to b*mb school.

Hey, Fall-Apart, old buddy!

Manny! Hey, what are you doing here?

A career change. The big time.

I'm a comedian now.

-Comedian?
-Yeah, you want to hear a joke?

Ooh! My timer.

Timer?

It's too late. Catch the next set.

Okay.

[Bonkers] Well, let's look
on the bright side.

[Fall-Apart] Yeah, let's look on the
bright side. Go ahead, Bonkers, do it.

Okay. On the one hand, the city has
panicked and half a dozen buildings

have been demolished,
despite everything we could do.

The chief of police has put
our jobs on the line.

And I've been a total ditz
at the best job I've ever had. Oops.

Well, at least the shift is over
and we can go get a good night's sleep

before our last day on the job.

[both] Okay.

Now, don't take this too hard, Fall-Apart.
Tomorrow's another day.

We'll get this guy.

Sure we will, Bonkers.

You guys go ahead.
I'm gonna man the night shift.

I think I finally know how
to put an end to this whole mess.

If anything happens while you're asleep,
you'll be able to count on old Fall-Apart.

You can sure bet that.

-Well, see ya' tomorrow, F.A.
-Good night.

I'm not gonna to let those guys
down, uh-uh-uh.

Not after what they've gone out
and done for me, you know.

They've been way out on the limb.
I mean... out there.

I can handle this.

I'm a trained professional.

Besides, Manny's a good guy.
He just needs a break...

and a good electrician.

[Fall-Apart snoring]

Hey, hey, wake up, you b*mb b*mbos.

We've got to pay attention.
Smell the coffee.

The b*mb's back. Hollywood and Vine,
at the Toon Talent Awards.

Oh, now I got him! This is my big chance.

I'll show those guys they can put their
faith in the right rabbit.

I'm handling this all by myself,
just the two of us.

What a rookie.

All guts and no brains.

[fanfare]

[announcer] And the nominees
for best toon walla are...

I'm going to show those guys Fall-Apart
Rabbit doesn't let his friends down.

[Announcer] McSweet, Frank Walnut,
April May-June,

Jim Goings, Hercule Paulson, Trish...

-There he is!
-[announcer] and the golden

anvil goes to...

Manny! I figured it out!

You only explode when you're nervous.

Oh, don't tell me that.

It makes me nervous.

-[ring]
-[both] Uh-oh.

[both yelp and grunt]

[both] Fall-Apart!

Well, luckily, the building was only
filled with toons and they all got away.

Well, then where's my little pal,
Fall-Apart?

He's gone! My buddy's gone!

That's true.
There's no sign of Fall-Apart.

Not a sign.

Not a foot or his cute cotton tail
or his silly old, lop ear.

Or his sweet little black button nose.

No. Nothing.

Not a hair of him?

-[Bonkers sobbing]
-[blows nose]

How... moist.

I knew this would happen.

He's finally popped his toon.

No, I haven't, Luckster.

I'm just fine.

-You sure?
-Sure, I'm sure.

'Cause Fall-Apart's all right, too.

How do you know that?

Take a look.

Fall-Apart was my stunt man for years.

If he'd have been blown up for good,
there'd be pieces of him hanging around.

Well, then where is he, Sherlock,
on the moon?

I mean, that's the kinda boost that would
blow him from here to Detroit.

Detroit?

That toon b*mb's blasted one
of the sweetest toons in Tinseltown,

and he has me to answer to.

Me, too, Bonkers.

Me, too, kid.

Aw man, I bet there's not a piece
of him left bigger than that.

[sobs]

[Bonkers] You think this is such
a good idea, Lucky?

Look, we have to tell the chief
what's happening.

It'll buy us some time
to find that mad b*mber.

[chief laughing]

Sounds like he's already heard
how we're doing.

Well, maybe he's looking
at your request for a raise.

[Fall-Apart laughing]

[Fall-Apart] Is this guy terrific,
or what?

Wait a minute.

That sounds like...

[both] Fall-Apart!

Where have you been?

Detroit.

[Manny] Well, well, well!
It looks like my audience is growing.

Don't make any sudden moves, Bonko.

That's the guy.

Hey, come on, guys.

Have a seat.

It's time for my expl*sive finish.

Exactly what are you trying to pull here?

Hey, you guys got me all wrong.

All I've got is a nerve problem.

Seriously, I'm not dangerous.
I'm funny! Riotsville. Really.

Just let me prove it to you.

All I ask is three minutes.

Make that... two and a half minutes.

And suppose we don't laugh.

[Fall-Apart] then he won't have to worry
about the late toon b*mb squad

being around to stop him.

Don't just sit there pickle, do something
while you've got the chance.

You mean before he blows up?

And it's, uh, Piquel.

No, before he starts with the jokes.

He really kills me.

Yeah, me, too. He really kills me.

What?

Oh, yeah!

Me, too!

What do you...

Oh, right! Ha! That's funny stuff.

[forced laughter]

Okay, everybody. Here we go.

Have you ever wondered
why people in Hollywood are so dumb?

'Cause the population is so dense!

[laughing]

And the network canceled me?

Is that thing ticking?

Is there a problem here?

Oh, no! No!

[fake laughter] Wonderful stuff.

[forced laughter]

Okay. Back to the jokes.

Hey, you know what's useless,

to send a telegram
to Washington these days.

He's dead!

[laughing]

[chief] That's really good.

Oh look, doctor, doctor,
my son swallowed a b*llet.

What should I do?

Hey, give him two aspirins
and don't point him at anybody.

[laughing]

Fall-Apart, pull yourself together.

It's up to you to help this guy.

Oh yeah, no, yeah of course.

Huh? Fall-Apart.

Fall-Apart!

What are you trying to do, ruin my act?

Easy, Manny. Relax.
I'm gonna help you out.

Relax? How am I supposed to relax?

I'm dying. Are you kidding?

Look, I work in show business too,
you know.

Oh, yeah? So what?

So take this: How do eskimos dress?

As fast as they can.

No, stop. Really. You're k*lling me.

[Manny laughing]

Who didn't invent the airplane?

The wrong brothers.

[laughing]

No fair tickling.

The red wire, Fall-Apart.
The red wire will disconnect the timer.

Got it!

[relieved sigh]

You know, that's better.

I'm not tense anymore.

Oh. Is the show over?

Well, we did it.

Thanks to you, Fall-Apart.

Aw, Lucky, I was just doing my job.

I'll handle it from here, boys.

This little fella is going to prison
for a long stretch.

Oh, god!

A c*ptive audience.

I never thought of that.

Hey, you think I could get life?

Whatever you get, you're in my custody
until the arraignment.

I do, however, want you to meet Francine.

She could use a good laugh.
She's waiting right outside.

Francine!

Hey, you kiddin'? I cannot wait
to meet her, Leonard.

Francine.

Pickle.

You think Francine will laugh?

She hasn't laughed since the honeymoon.

Well, whatever happens, no one can say
you didn't do a great job, Fall-Apart.

Yeah, I snipped that little red wire
just like you said. See?

[gulps] Fall-Apart, that wire's green.

Oops.

[Francine] You call that a joke?

[Manny] Oh, oh, I'm feeling tense again.

Nurse, nurse! Okay, someone's
in the hospital.

Went to the hospital, he was so sick,
he almost died, and he was a visitor!

[boom]

[theme music playing]