06x19 - Coffin Punch

[bunniefuu]

Please don't try anything

that you're about to see us do
at home.

Ever!

NARRATOR: On this scatological
episode of "Mythbusters"...

Oh, man.

NARRATOR:
...it's all about idioms,

as the team takes on those
phrases we all take for granted.

Is it really best
to hit the ground running?

[ Laughter ]

Or to end with a bang?

And for the coup de grace...

I shouldn't be surprised,
but it smells terrible.

NARRATOR:
...Adam and Jamie will attempt

to polish the unpolishable.

Incredible.

Who are the Mythbusters?

Adam Savage...

I look good, right?
I look damn good!

NARRATOR:
...and Jamie Hyneman.

Oh, great.
We've got a yeti outside.

NARRATOR:
Between them, more than 30 years

of special-effects experience.

Joining them -- Grant Imahara...

Oh, my God!

NARRATOR:
...Tory Belleci...

[ Cuban accent ]
Say hello to my little friend!

-NARRATOR:... and Kari Byron.
-You're better than a robot!

NARRATOR: They don't just tell
the myths...

Bye-bye!

NARRATOR:
...they put them to the test.

[ Cat meows ]

So, we're doing idioms.

Do you have any?

I do, actually.

At Industrial Light & Magic,

whenever we were working
on a model

that required a lot of detail
and yet was still ugly,

we referred to the process
as [bleep] polishing.

So the myth is,
you can't polish [bleep]

-Exactly.
-That one's been around forever.

I've heard that
all over the place.

I got a wrinkle, though,

because the network
has instructed us

that we're not allowed
to use the word [bleep]

Can we say [bleep]

-Of course not.
-[Bleep]

Nope.

But to set your mind at ease,

we can say "feces,"
"manure," "guano,"

"dung," "waste," "scat,"
"doo-doo," "poo-poo,"

and "poop."

[ Cow moos ]

NARRATOR:
Pedants that we are,

we've put common idioms
to the test before.

We've dared to question
the culpability

of bulls in china shops...

They're very careful
of the breaking china.

NARRATOR:... the trouble with
finding needles in haystacks...

Yeah!

NARRATOR:... and the ease
of sh**ting fish in a barrel.

ADAM:
I think he's still squirming.

NARRATOR: But just this might be
the toughest task of all.

So, where are we gonna start
with this poop polishing?

Well, I think we're gonna need

the widest possible array
of dung that we can find.

A veritable smorgasbord
of fecal matter.

And then see if there's
any specific kind we can get

to take a high polish.

Okay.
Let's get at it.

NARRATOR:
From here,

the best place to find
a truly broad selection of dung

is the San Francisco Zoo.

ADAM: Well, we're just about
to go into the barn

containing a bunch of giraffes,

or as we on "Mythbusters"
like to call them,

the large herbivore savanna-
based feces-production units.

And hopefully
they're going to have

some special packages
just for us.

NARRATOR: But you can't expect
something for nothing,

so the boys come bearing fruit.

We've got some breakfast here.

NARRATOR: This girl
refuses to take Adam's banana.

No surprises there.

Jamie has better luck.

JAMIE:
She's beautiful.

NARRATOR: And breakfast begins
its magical transformation

into manure.

Okay. Now you've eaten.
Let's see the other stuff.

JAMIE: So it turns out that
giraffes are really efficient

at extracting the nutrients they
need out of the food they eat,

unlike things like elephants

and other herbivores that live
in the same environment

that are basically like cows
the way they process.

The giraffes extract
every last little thing --

hello -- out of the food.

And that's why you end up
with this dense little nugget,

which tells me that it might be

better material for us
to work with.

NARRATOR: But giraffes
aren't the only donors.

Grizzly dung.
Let's go get some.

NARRATOR:
Armed with scoops and buckets,

they need to steal the scats
of a bunch more species

to give them the best possible
chance of busting this myth.

If one stool won't take a shine,
another might.

So there's no bears
around here, I take it.

Hey, Jamie.
Over here.

Oh, man, this stuff is soft.

JAMIE:
It's kind of like meatloaf.

I know I shouldn't be surprised,
but it smells terrible.

You know the worst part now?

I got an inch on my nose.

NARRATOR:
The grizzlies get set free

as the boys move
from stink to stench.

ADAM: Warthogs.

JAMIE: Oh, right out of
the gate, I see we're in luck.

ADAM:
Look at that.

Holy [bleep]
That's a lot of poo.

ADAM:
[ Laughs ]

-Oh, wait. Look.
-Oh, it's all in a string.

[ British accent ] Looks like
it could be a necklace.

We just have to polish it up.

NARRATOR:
They race to secure the manure

from half a dozen more animals,

including lions, rhinos,
and koalas.

ADAM: I think we got
everything we need here.

Oh, you're full of it.

ADAM:
[ Chuckles ]

Let's get back to the shop
and start polishing.

[ Laughing ]
Okay.

NARRATOR: Now to test a myth
with momentum.

All right, so what's next?

Well, we've got another myth
that will likely result

-in you getting hurt.
-Great.

Awesome.
What is it?

You know the phrase
"hit the ground running"?

That's the term when
somebody is already up to speed

-before they start a job.
-Right.

Well, we want to know is,

if you literally
hit the ground running,

do you get going any faster?

I like it.

Yeah, sounds dangerous for you.

NARRATOR: When the phrase
surfaced in the 1 890s,

it was meant literally,

so all the more reason
to put it to the test.

We'll move on
to wheels in motion,

but kick off with fast feet.

So, how are we gonna test this?

I think we need to start out
with a harness

to keep us suspended in the air

so we could get our feet moving
before we touch the ground.

We should probably also add
some forward momentum

to see if that has any
difference on the experiment.

That sounds like we're all
getting hurt, not just Tory.

[ Laughs ]
Welcome to my world.

NARRATOR: And welcome back
to Trapeze Arts.

This where
our three thrill-seekers

once tried a 360 on a swing.

KARI: Oh, my gosh!
That's enough!

NARRATOR: The team has
commissioned an indoor zip line

to help launch the legend.

Meantime, they'll need
some baseline figures

to see if this phrase has legs.

I think we should start out
with a control run

from a standing start, let's say
30 feet, and then time it.

Then we'll use our harness rigs

so that way we're up
off the ground.

We'll start our run,
and then when we're dropped,

we'll be in mid-stride and we'll
see if our time is any shorter.

NARRATOR:
30 feet is a short sprint,

but that's the best way
to test this idiom.

It's 30 feet.
Right there.

NARRATOR: Any difference between
a standing and a rolling start

is likely to be measured
in fractions of a second.

Let's go! Let's go!
Come on!

Get those shoes on!
Get those shoes on!

NARRATOR:
Tory's the first to run

his three standing-start
control sprints.

KARI:
On your marks, get set, go.

NARRATOR: Tory consistently
clocks just over two seconds.

2. 11.

NARRATOR:
But those tiny differentials

might make all the difference.

All right.
Who's next?

NARRATOR: Now Kari and Grant
post their own times.

I'm ready.

TORY:
On your marks, get set, go.

-That was cute.
-lt was cute.

I like the way she hit the back.

NARRATOR:
Then Grant steps up to the mark.

TORY:
On your marks, get set, go.

NARRATOR: Grant figures out the
average time for each runner.

That's the mark
they'll have to beat.

And now for the fun stuff.

Hit the ground running test.
Let's go over the plan.

The trapeze is set up.

Eric's gonna lift us up so our
feet aren't touching the ground.

We're gonna start
moving our feet.

As soon as we hear "go,"
we drop down and start the run.

NARRATOR:
Tory takes flight

as Kari takes fright.

KARI: Personally, I think
"hitting the ground running"

sounds great in your head
if you're thinking in cartoons.

But in real life, I have a
feeling it's gonna trip you up

and, well, we might see
some face-plants.

NARRATOR:
We live in hope.

Adam and Jamie have gathered
the droppings

from nine different animals

to see which, if any,
buffs up the best.

JAMIE: Those babies
would hurt coming out.

NARRATOR: Back at M5, Jamie
marks up some tinfoil trays

and finds a novel use
for earplugs.

JAMIE:
They work for your ears.

Maybe they work
for your nose, too.

Okay.
Here we go.

NARRATOR:
Once the poop is partitioned...

JAMIE:
Oh, man.

NARRATOR:
...every sample gets roasted.

The theory is that dry dung is
more likely to take a polish.

ADAM: The whole point
of baking the scat

at 300 degrees for six hours

is not just to bring out
the flavor,

but also to get out
the moisture, to harden it.

While it's regular poop,

there's no way we can get a
polish on it, 'cause it's soft.

NARRATOR:
Baked horse manure looks

way too flaky to take a polish,

and the same goes for elephant,
rhino, and grizzly dung.

ADAM:
We got five out of nine.

That's actually pretty good.

Let's see what we can do.

What do you -- Where --
Where -- Where -- Where --

[ Laughs ]
Where do you want to begin?

NARRATOR:
Adam's a stuttering mess,

but this is uncharted territory.

They'll need good instincts
and a strong stomach

to choose the right sample
and the right method.

-Jamie picks...
-Giraffe dung.

NARRATOR:
...while Adam tries...

Lion feces.

And I'm going at it

with a bit of 320-grit
wet-dry sandpaper.

And, honestly, it seems to be
going swimmingly.

JAMIE: So, I'm actually getting
a nice little shine

on this puppy.

I'm doing that just by adding

a little bit of water
to the table surface

and rubbing it around
until it kind of flattens

what material is already there
out into a nice surface.

NARRATOR: Giraffe pellets do
seem to have polish potential.

JAMIE:
The finishing touch on this

is gonna be to add
a little bit of oil,

just like you would put
on your furniture

that you've got
nice and polished,

and that'll keep it shiny.

NARRATOR:
Meantime, Adam goes high-tech

with a jewelers' wheel.

ADAM: A terrible failure
that is right there.

NARRATOR: Frustration
turns to exasperation,

as Adam learns that
Jamie's using furniture polish.

You are obstinately ignoring

the spirit
and the letter of the myth

by using a wax-based polish.

This is about polishing.
There's polish.

I don't see the problem.

You're imparting
an artificial shine.

You might as well
just spray-paint it.

You're adding material,

and the material is
what's getting you your shine,

not the poop itself.

NARRATOR: Proving you can
polish a poop is a big ask,

so it's no surprise
that the [bleep] hit the fan.

It's a wax.
It helps get a shine on it.

NARRATOR: Well, I guess we've
left Tory hanging long enough.

He, Grant, and Kari
are testing the literal truth

of "hit the ground running."

Just like the control sprints,

they'll all try this
running drop test three times.

And here's the highlights.

GRANT:
[ Laughs ]

KARI: Go.

TORY: The way I was picturing it
is really cool.

I probably looked really cool
in the high-speed on this one.

KARI:
Hanging, set...

I haven't reached
maximum velocity yet!

KARI:... go.

-Go.
-GRANT: [ Laughs ]

I have to say,
that was pretty awkward,

and it wasn't really like
hitting the ground running

so much as it was
hitting the ground stumbling.

Wow. That is the most graceful
thing I've ever seen in my life.

Eye of the tiger, Grant.
Eye of the tiger.

More like eye of the kitten.

NARRATOR: You can't help notice
that hitting the ground running

looks a lot clumsier
and a whole lot slower

than a standing start.

I'm under no illusion
that was probably a slower run.

I almost didn't see her pass.

KARI: Mostly from
all the awkward flailing around

that left me
in a strange position

by the time
I hit the ground to run.

TORY: Go.

NARRATOR:
But the stopwatch never lies.

On average, the three of us

were faster
hitting the ground running...

There's no way.

...by an eighth of a second.

Now we're going to do a test --

hit the ground running,
but with forward momentum.

I think this is gonna be
a much better test.

NARRATOR:
Sliding in on a zip line,

they'll hit the start line
at speed.

By any standards,

this must be the ultimate way
to hit the ground running.

But will it be faster?

TORY: It's hard because if your
foot is not in the right place

when you get off that trolley,

you're gonna
go straight on your face.

KARI: Maybe that's why
"hit the ground running"

isn't actually a good saying.

NARRATOR: So Kari follows
in his floundering footsteps.

TORY:
Run, run, run, run, run!

GRANT: Run, run, run,
run, run, run, run!

Yeah!

KARI:
That's not so easy.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

NARRATOR: Time for Grant
to strut his stuff.

[ Grunts ]

[ Both laugh ]

Come on! Keep going!
Finish line!

Aah!

When your legs go in the air,
the trolley starts rocking.

Suddenly you can't tell
where the floor is,

and I hit the floor
and things just went all wrong.

I just don't think
that there's any way

that this idiom works
whatsoever.

I just don't think

you're ever gonna get
a significantly better time

by running ahead of time.

It think it's just crazy and
we should just stop saying it.

NARRATOR:
But Kari and Tory

finally did seem to hit
that mark at high speed.

Still, it all comes down to
those fractions of a second.

Running in the air
with the forward-momentum test

is a quarter-second slower
than planting and running.

Really?!
That's a surprise.

NARRATOR:
So the jury's locked

on the literal truth
of this popular phrase.

Surprisingly, falling was faster
and swinging was slower.

So what say we replace legs
with wheels?

Hey, how about a bike?
I like bikes.

[ Laughs ]

Oh, we know your track record
with those.

[ expl*si*n ]

I can tell you're
trying to send a message,

but I can't figure out
what it is.

It's an idiom.

We've been exploiting it since
the very beginning of the show.

Really?
An idiom?

I can't figure out what --
You got to tell me.

"Better to end with a bang."

[ Laughs ]

So you're suggesting that we end
the idiom special with a bang?

-Exactly.
-That's brilliant!

Let's get out of here.

NARRATOR:
Sure, we always assume

it's better to end with a bang,
especially on "Mythbusters."

Today we'll put
the predictable big bang

up against
a spectacular slow burn.

But first, well,

we'll have to blow something
into tiny, tiny pieces.

So, "ending with a bang" --
what are we gonna blow up?

Normally, we blow up
really big, spectacular stuff.

I was thinking, what if we blow
up something small and piddling,

but in a spectacular way --
like your little mo-ped there?

-What, this thing?
-Yeah.

-I love it!
-Let's do it.

NARRATOR: Ensuring no one
goes home with nine fingers

or one eyebrow --
Frank Doyle and J. D. Nelson.

ADAM: So the goal is to make
Jamie's mo-ped go away.

-Det cord.
-Det cord.

NARRATOR:
Det cord, alias Primacord,

a. k.a. linear expl*sive.

It might look like
a clothesline,

but the core
of this flexible tubing

is compressed
powdered expl*sive.

[ French accent ]
Ah, yes, for today's bang,

we have chosen
a vintage Mobylette, or mo-ped,

which we have wrapped carefully
with aged Primacord

several hundred feet,
held together with duct tape,

and ignited
with the blasting cap.

I trust it will be fabulous.

NELSON: All right.
It's beautiful.

NARRATOR: But beauty
sometimes needs a helping hand.

Well, I'm not one
to let well enough alone,

and the task we have
is to go out with a bang,

so I'm gonna add some gasoline.

This is a technique we learned

when we were doing
the Hollywood expl*si*n.

And if you take a look at

this footage of me pretending
to be my own action hero,

you'll see
what kind of expl*si*n

we can expect from this.

MAN:
3.. .2... 1!

NARRATOR: So Adam adds even
more fuel to the fireball.

[ Laughs ]

NARRATOR: When a demolitions
expert laughs like that,

it's time to run for cover.

At least the boys have
a bunker to hide in.

-JAMIE: Okay, everybody ready?
-ADAM: We are.

All right.
"Ends with a bang."

Firing in 3.. .2...

-1 --
-Wait, wait, wait!

I just realized
this is "ending with a bang,"

and we're still
in the middle of the episode.

We can't do this at this point.

We've got to go take care
of a bunch of other stuff

-and then come back here.
-Really?

Yeah.

Okay.

Let's go.

NARRATOR: Kari, Tory, and Grant
have been testing

the truth of the idiom
"hit the ground running"

to see if it really is faster
than a standing start.

The results were surprising
and inconsistent.

But where feet failed us,
wheels might provide the answer.

We'll end with a car,
but start with a bicycle.

[ Crash ]

[ Bell dings ]

You may remember this bike
from "Drive Shaft Pole Vault."

We have a very interesting
relationship, me and this bike.

[ Humming ]

-Ohh!
-KARI: Whoa!

I'm okay.

I need to be able
to get this bike up to speed

without it touching the ground.

So I'm gonna build a rig that
will hold up the back wheel.

NARRATOR: The "hit the ground"
part of this phrase

means the bike
needs to start suspended.

What I need to do next
is make the release system

so that way,
once the bike is up to speed,

we can quickly release the back
wheels, it'll hit the ground,

and we'll see what happens
when we hit the ground running.

NARRATOR: Adding extender
foot pegs to the back axle,

Tory modifies the mechanism
to drop on demand.

-Go ahead.
-3.. .2... 1.

Yeah!
It's gonna work!

NARRATOR: Out on the test track,
Tory sprays the start,

while Grant marks the finish
line, 100 feet up the tarmac.

Then we'll stop the timer
once we hit the finish line,

and we'll do it three times.

That way, we get an average time
from our standing start.

NARRATOR:
These first sprints

wouldn't scare
a retired mailman.

Excellent.

NARRATOR:
But for the sake of consistency,

Tory needs to wear a safety suit
for each and every test.

TORY: It's just riding a bike.
How dangerous could that be?

Yeah, but this is not
the dangerous one.

But when you're suspended
in the air,

pedaling as fast as you can,
then it gets dangerous.

Ready, set, go.

NARRATOR:
As with the running tests,

they average the times
from three standing starts.

Go!

-What was my time?
-6.68.

KARI: Go!

NARRATOR: And the Tour de Tory
passes without incident.

6.34!

I got it!
I got a better time!

NARRATOR: But we all know
that once you learn

how to fall off a bike,
you never forget.

Oh!

Now we're gonna move on
to our suspended test.

Tory's gonna be on the bike
suspended above the ground.

He's gonna pedal
as fast as he can,

and then we're gonna release him
and see if he's any faster.

My prediction for
the next test -- three words --

crash and burn.

All right.
I'm ready.

NARRATOR:
But is he?

If history is any guide, Grant
should have 911 on speed dial.

KARI: Set, go!

GRANT:
[ Laughs ]

TORY:
That was pathetic!

Keep going!
Keep going!

8.72.

Not very good.

Ready, set, go!

[ Grunts ]

NARRATOR:
Try as he might,

Tory just can't, well,
hit the ground running.

Once he hits the ground,
there's so much friction,

there's so much weight there,
that it just immediately stops

and he is basically
at a standstill.

All right!

Dude, hitting the ground running
sucks!

Go!

Go!

Go!

This was just like
when we were at Trapeze Arts

and we were trying to catch
with our feet.

It's really hard to,
well, hit the ground running.

GRANT:
10.09 seconds.

Just to remind everyone,

Tory's control run
was just under 6.5 seconds.

NARRATOR:
Clearly, the friction

between the road
and the falling rear tire

stopped the wheel dead
and unbalanced the bike.

So, far from proving advantage,
this test is going backwards.

GRANT: Your average
hitting the ground running

was 9.27 seconds --

2.8 seconds longer
than the control.

[ Laughs ]
That's not good.

It's not looking good for "hit
the ground running" on a bike.

But we can't stop there.
We still have a car.

-Yeah! Let's ramp it up!
-All right.

NARRATOR: Adam and Jamie
are testing the truth

of that delightful idiom

"You can't polish a..."
you know what.

Adding to the unpleasantness,

Jamie's use of furniture polish
provoked a scat spat.

I mean, it's ridiculous.
I just don't believe it.

I'm interested as to whether or
not these things are polishable,

not as to whether or not
I can add something to them

to achieve a shine.

NARRATOR: But he'd sooner strike
a light than curse the darkness.

Hello, sir.

NARRATOR:
Adam's enlisted Jason Arnold

to explain the Japanese art
of dorodango,

shaping shiny ba*ls
from common dirt

using only your hands,
tap water, and patience.

ARNOLD: This was made
out of just some soil

found in my dad's backyard.

Then I wanted something nicer,

so I went and got
just a nice dirt mix

that didn't have
a bunch of junk in it.

ADAM:
Wow! These are great.

Can you teach me how to do this?

Absolutely. Yes.

I love to teach people
how to do this.

-Let's do it.
-All right.

NARRATOR: The boys
dish the dirt side by side.

It's a proof-of-concept
cooking lesson

that hopefully works
just as well with manure.

You know, usually on the show,

I'm connecting to my 1 4-year-old
self, the pyromaniac.

Now I'm connecting
to my 4-year-old self.

ARNOLD: You're looking
pretty good there.

I think you could start
to pick that up

-and get your hands dirty.
-All right.

NARRATOR: They need
a good balance of dirt and water

to shape a sphere
the size of a pool ball.

And remember, this is
nothing more than a ball of mud.

ADAM: I feel like I want to add
just a little tiny bit of water.

You really want to try
and get water out of it.

Okay.

If you feel that it's too dry,
maybe, and it's crumbling,

then yeah, you may want to add
some water to it.

ADAM: No. I feel like
I'm right on the edge.

NARRATOR: Adam soon adapts
to the rolling rhythm...

This is so much fun.

NARRATOR:... and the frequent
trips to the fridge

to speed up the condensation.

So, 25 minutes.
We can pull them out?

Sounds great.

NARRATOR: It all takes time,
but it could be worse.

If you're doing this
the old-fashioned way

with no refrigerator, outside,

it'll take more like
a week or longer,

as you leave it outside.

Check it out!

NARRATOR:
Time to mend some fences

with a method
we hope they both agree on.

Look at that.

That is dirt, water, and...
just a little elbow grease.

Does it bounce?

No.

I think it's actually
pretty darn delicate,

but I think this is our process.

That's beautiful.

I think we just need to choose
the most dirt-like of the scat

-and start with that.
-Okay.

NARRATOR: Adam adopts
the ostrich droppings.

ADAM:
[ Coughs ]

NARRATOR: And Jamie decides on
the lion leftovers.

I need to take this
and make a shiny mud ball of it.

Now, this is lion poop,
and the reason I want to use it

is because these guys are
almost exclusively carnivores,

and their poop is gonna be --

you know, have a certain
characteristic because of that.

I'm holding on to
a ball of wet dung,

and I have a hard time imagining

that it's gonna be shiny
when I'm all done.

At the same time, I'm so jazzed
from my shiny mud ball...

that I'm optimistic
that this is gonna work.

These are so simple.

You know, there's nothing
more pure than a sphere.

NARRATOR:
Unless the sphere needs a shave.

Jamie resists yelling, "Waiter,
there's a hair in my poop."

He just takes care of business.

JAMIE:
Ah, that's working.

NARRATOR: Kari, Grant, and Tory
have risked life and limb

to see if it really is faster
to hit the ground running.

Flailing feet proved nothing.

And the hover bike
was a total bust.

-GRANT: [ Laughs ]
-TORY: That was pathetic!

[ Engine revs ]

NARRATOR: But with much more
weight and maybe more grip,

this stunt sedan
just might do the trick.

I like driving.

NARRATOR:
Driving, and hopefully braking,

is Kari Byron.

My strategy to keep consistency
is I am just going to floor it

for the start
of each one of these tests.

NARRATOR:
Grant sets the mark at 300 feet.

Now Kari sets some times
from a standing start.

TORY: Here we go.
In 3.. .2... 1.

Go.

-7.97.
-TORY: Go.

NARRATOR: As before, they'll
average these control runs

to compare against
hitting the ground running.

GRANT:
Now that we have our data,

the next step is to raise up
the drive wheels,

which are the front wheels,
off the ground.

I think this has a good chance
of being faster.

The car's more stable,
it's got better traction,

and the wheels are unlikely to
stop when they hit the ground.

But there could be
a few problems.

We could blow out the tires.

The car could swerve
out of control.

Or we could destroy
the transmission.

Be interesting
to see what happens.

That's better.

NARRATOR:
With the engine at full revs,

this 4,000 pound car
is rigged with a quick release

to smash into the road
at top speed.

KARI: We've never done
anything like this before,

so I guess we just
have to cross our fingers

and hope everything goes
really well.

NARRATOR:
And if things don't go well,

well, there's no way
anyone here can help her.

Unlike the bike,
the car wheels don't stop dead.

But they do seem
to struggle for traction.

The front end
is up off the ground.

The wheels are spinning
as fast as they can go.

I pull the release,

and it bounces off the pavement,
skids out, and takes off.

Tires didn't pop,
so I think we're good.

We'll be able to do
another test.

NARRATOR: That's a green light
for a second run.

GRANT:
This is the craziest thing ever.

I'm standing down here
at the end of the line

and you see
once the car hits the ground,

a huge cloud of smoke.

I'm not quite sure, actually,
if the car is moving towards me

until it breaks through
the smoke

and I can see it accelerating.

NARRATOR:
Incredibly, nothing's broken.

So Kari hooks up for
her third and final drop drag.

[ Tires screech ]

[ Tires screech ]

KARI:
That was so awesome.

The redneck in me --
screaming the whole way.

I love a good burnout.

Mm!

Oh, and I'm sure
the test went well, too.

NARRATOR:
At the end of a day

charged by hormones
and horsepower,

it all comes down to timing.

Was hitting the ground running
faster than a standing start?

As cool as that was, I don't
know if it made it any faster.

You know, I was concentrating
so hard on just going straight,

it just all went slow motion
for me.

All right, well, the results
are in, and it was very close.

Now, the average for the control
test for the whole 300 feet --

7.88 seconds.

What was hitting the ground
running?

The average of hitting the
ground running -- 8.04 seconds.

Yes!
We busted this one!

KARI: And we busted the car,
so we got to push it home.

NARRATOR:
We've tried it running, cycling,

and now motoring.

This is one idiom

that works better in theory
than in practice.

TORY: [ Grunts ]
Push harder!

-KARI: Wait. Who's steering?!
-TORY: Who's steering?! Aah!

NARRATOR:
For Adam and Jamie,

it's been three long days
of shaping and buffing.

But thanks to the ancient art
of dorodango,

they've got a real chance

of actually imparting
a polish to poop.

You know, the casual viewer
might look at this and say --

pardon the pun --
"What a load of crap.

Who needs to know this?
This is disgusting."

But I'm actually
really fascinated by this.

Even if it is a disgusting
material, it's totally unlikely.

And yet, by really thinking
carefully about it

and by, like, polishing
and working it,

we've actually got
a lovely shine on this.

NARRATOR: Of course, it's
not all smiles and sunshine.

The ba*ls still stink
to high heaven,

they're unsanitary,
and Adam's made a mess

of the pants he was going to
wear to the Emmys.

I swear, that is as shiny
as I'm gonna get it.

It's pretty good.

NARRATOR:
Now, here's the rub.

What exactly defines a polish,
and how do you measure it?

Adam's left nothing to chance.

Because the whole point of this
exercise is to polish a poop,

the question remains -- How do
we know when we get there?

What is "shiny"?
What is "polished"?

Well, we've got
a glossmeter here,

which measures shininess
in gloss units.

And we know that anything above
a gloss-unit measurement of 70

is considered high-gloss,
or polished.

And I submit that
that is our target.

First, I'm gonna run it
through its paces

with this shiny chrome ball,

which no one would dispute
is a very polished ball.

NARRATOR: The gloss reading
on polished chrome

should give us some idea

of whether or not Adam's
dung ball will make the grade.

Okay.
The results are in.

Shiny chrome ball --
275 gloss units.

Now I'd like to measure
my dorodango.

NARRATOR:
They've cramped their fingers,

lost time with loved ones,

and infused M5 with a stink
that might just last forever.

But if they can bust this myth,
well, it's almost worth it.

106!
[ Chuckles ]

Remember, anything
above a gloss units of 70

is high-gloss, and I got 106.

So I succeeded
in polishing a poop.

Let's go get Jamie's.

Dude.

I achieved high-gloss,
according to our glossmeter.

Not bad for, like, a lot of
grass and other things in there.

Yeah, I got 106.
Wow!

JAMIE:
Can just about see myself in it.

Oh, we got to test yours.
Come on. Let's go.

Okay.

NARRATOR: Jamie, you'll recall,
chose the lion dung.

So in this bizarre quest
for the best and brightest,

it's carnivore versus herbivore.

Nicely done.
183 gloss units.

So you should know
anything above 70 gloss units

is considered high-gloss, and
you knocked it out of the park.

-JAMIE: They're shiny.
-ADAM: They are.

I'd say we've handily busted
this myth.

You can, in fact, polish a poop.

Yes, you can.
It's busted.

ADAM:
I hope you accept my apologies

for the early
explodus interruptus.

JAMIE:
Firing in 3.. .2...

-1 --
-Wait, wait, wait! Hold on!

It's now the end of the show,

and now we can proceed
with ending with a bang.

In case you didn't remember,
we've got a mo-ped up there

wrapped with a couple
of hundred feet of det cord...

It's like a spider
caught it, really.

...and about a gallon
of gasoline.

[ Laughs ]

We're just about
to light that puppy up,

and it should be
pretty spectacular.

JAMIE:
"Ends with a bang."

-Are you ready?
-I'm ready.

-You're sure?
-I -- Just do it.

Firing in 3.. .2... 1!

[ Laughs ]

That was suitably spectacular.

NARRATOR:
And suitably devastating.

They've turned a mo-ped
into a "no-ped."

But just what is Jamie's
diabolical alternative?

Let's ask the man himself.

We're gonna make some thermite.

That means I'm gonna take this
and mix it with this in that,

and we're gonna cut that
in half.

NARRATOR:
Okay. That's nice and brief.

But we'll need
a bit more detail.

Thermite is a mix of iron oxide
and finely powdered aluminum

that burns
at super-hot temperatures.

We used it previously
during the "Hindenburg" episode,

to a pretty spectacular effect,
as you can see.

NARRATOR:
The Hindenburg had a paint job

partly based on the
key components of thermite,

which at least contributed
to this historic fireball.

Thermite's also used
to build bombs

and in commercial demolition.

So it's not the kind of thing
you buy prepackaged.

[ Engine turns over ]

So Jamie has to mix his own --
very, very carefully.

JAMIE: The only people
that we could find

used to working with this kind
of quantity of thermite

normally make
solid rocket boosters.

And they told me that I need to
be really careful with this

because even mixing it
in a mixer like this

can generate enough heat
from the friction

that it could auto-ignite.

And once this stuff goes off,
you don't want to be around it.

So we're keeping
a close eye on it.

NARRATOR:
Cue the sacrificial S. U.V.

It's Adam's job
to prep the patient.

ADAM:
I have to remove the tires

because they don't want
the tires to burn out here.

So, of all the things
we're gonna destroy,

we're gonna leave the burning,
molten rubber

out of the equation and just
set the car down on its frame.

NARRATOR: The first batch
of bathtub thermite

is bagged and distributed.

So I figure we stuff these
in around the engine.

And when it starts
to run through the hood,

it'll set them off.

NARRATOR: Now Adam's method
gives an insight

into Jamie's madness.

He's landscaping the car
with house bricks

to form a flaming gutter.

My vision is that we're gonna
create a river of thermite

that's gonna rain down
on the inside of this S. U.V.

and cut it right in half.

Now, is it gonna do that?

We don't have a clue.
It hasn't been done before.

But it's gonna be cool.

ADAM: Something is
just occurring to me.

This is a freaking lot
of thermite.

Have you found anyone
who's ever set off this much?

Nowhere close.

Ha! Cool.

Maybe somebody has,
but I couldn't find them.

NARRATOR:
If he could,

they probably wouldn't approve
of this.

By the time he's finished,

Jamie's used more than
1 ,000 pounds of thermite.

JAMIE:
It burns at 4,500 degrees.

It's self-oxidizing,

meaning that
you can't really put it out,

because it doesn't care
what you do to it.

And as far as we know,
nobody's used this much before.

It's gonna be amazing.

If this works
the way we're planning,

if we actually achieve splitting
this S. U.V. down the middle,

then absolutely, it's gonna be
better than a bang.

But really, it's anybody's guess

as to whether or not
it's gonna work.

JAMIE: Okay.
I'm gonna light her up. Over.

NARRATOR: Don't you just love
seeing history in the making?

Jamie sets
the slow-burn fuses...

...then moseys on back
to safety.

JAMIE: Personally, I'd take this
over a bang any day

because this is
something special.

Once this stuff goes off,
it's gonna be nuts.

I think something's
starting to happen

towards the rear of the car.

-ADAM: Oh, cascading.
-JAMIE: Yeah.

-[ expl*si*n ]
-ADAM: Oh, yeah!

[ Laughs ]

NELSON:
That's what I'm talking about.

Oh, it's coming out the windows.

It's definitely
gotten into the cab.

NARRATOR:
Burning thermite

is tree times hotter
than molten lava,

and the U.V. rays
are so intense,

you can't view it up close
without a welder's mask.

No wonder Jamie thought this
might be better than a bang.

ADAM: Wow!

Oh, oh, there it is.
The river's running down.

JAMIE: You can see it dripping
off the front of the car.

Exactly.
Oh, that's great!

NARRATOR:
As the fire peaks then sputters,

it looks like the thermite strip
hasn't quite cleaved the roof.

It looks like it's petering out.

NARRATOR: J. D. decides it's
safe enough to venture forth.

JAMIE: While it didn't
really cleanly cut it

right down the middle
like I was hoping,

there's not gonna be
a whole lot left of that car.

NARRATOR: But rending the roof
wasn't the main aim.

They just want to know
one thing.

JAMIE:
Was this better than a bang?

I'm sort of biased
towards saying yes,

because the amount of energy
that was released here

was just enormous.

This was something
that you just --

You just never see 1 ,000 pounds
of thermite going off.

This was fantastic.

I loved it.

Well, for ends with a bang,

we got two beautiful
points of comparison.

On one hand,
we've got the non-bang,

and the other hand, the bang.

I like the non-bang.

Yeah, and I like the bang,
which means we're deadlocked.

We can't call this one.

Well, let's do something
a little different

and put it to the viewers.

Let them decide.

That's brilliant!

Log on to
discovery.com/mythbusters

and tell us
which one you like best.

NARRATOR:
So you can help decide

if this one's confirmed
or busted.

Meantime, Adam
has some closing thoughts.

Well, we got our bang
and we got our non-bang.

But just in case
you feel like ending

this very episode with a bang,
here's a few of my favorites,

starting off with the good old
water-heater expl*si*n.

[ Classical music plays ]

Oh!