01x04 - Kon Ducki

[bunniefuu]

You're lucky. It's Plucky. I'm absolutely

ducky. Other shows seem yucky now that

Plucky's on the air. I'm wacky. I'm

quacky. He's an egomaniac-y. Hampton

plays the lucky of this stuff

extraordinaire. Who knows the way to

close his endless babbling beak?Drop an

angle down upon his feathery physique.

Toast him. Roast him. The show will still

be boasting. It's the Pucky Duck Show and

it's on each week His antics are

frantic At times he gets romantic My

talent's so gigantic It'll burst from

your TV The writers are hackers The

artists all with crackers The actors are

yackers But don't complain, it's free

Rocky goes to Acme Lune to learn to be a

star There are other tootsters at the

school But who cares who they are?So

enjoy, don't be coy And don't fall for a

decoy It's the Pucky Duck Show, come and

laugh aloneI also

wrote this song.

Hey, Juicers. It's High Seas Adventure

Day on Tiny Toons. So let's hit the

waves. Or

vice versa.

And so, fellow adventurers, in

summation,

nice that noise. I,

Pluck-heyerdahl, intend to authenticate

my theory that my ancient ancestors did

not, as previously believed, fly from

the island of Yap to Salinas.

But actually, in fact, sails there.

That's impossible. Said?They

flew, fool. Idiot,

buffoon. Why detect disagreement?

And what's more, I shall construct my

ship using only materials that my

ancestors had back in



mood rings, man?Or the

midi skirt, platform shoes?

And I shall do it in 21 days.

But the adventure begins.

The task of building the con duppy proved

to be arduous.

This is Kumbaya, my trusted

companion, first mate, cook, navigator,

and pillow fluffer. And this is little

Parrot. A long for comic relief and

bemused better overuse the sides. Uh,

it's a living. Beware,

a violent sight gag approaches.

And to your left is a naked peg.

Ah, mango juice.

Captain Pluck, the mask's in plates.

Pluck?Captain Pluck?Hello?

Come by eye, is that you?Guess it's me.

Where are you, Captain Pluck?Where do you

think I am, Kumbaya?Just take a

tiny little guess. Ohh I know,

sir. You're trapped under the mast.

Yes, I was. I was trapped under the--

What's the?

And so our unsinkable vessel met the

sea.

Kumbaya. Do we have all the '70s items

that, like my ancestors, I've brought

with me on this journey?Yes, Cap'n Buck.

A Popeil pocket fisherman. Check. Presto

individual hamburger maker. Check. A pair

of clogs. Check. Extra polyester shirts

with enormous cups and collars. Check.

Some pet rocks. Check. Really big

headphones. Check. A full-length keep-on

trucking poster. Check.

Peter Frampton, the Bee Gees, and ABBA

eight-track tapes.

You know, they're all divorced now. I

didn't even know they were married. What?

None of those really wide ties?What do

you think the sail's made out of?

Not to worry, men. The wind will kick up

any moment.

Men, you're on half-rations till we get

back to England.

These cameos make me want to puke.

I can't stand it anymore! I said

I'd accomplish this journey in 21 days!

I know. I'll do my ancestor's ancient

dance to the wind god. The wind god?

Yes, straight pig. Give her a wind to the

noble sailor. He has been alive forever.

And he wrote the very first song.

ohh Wind in my sails, bending my reels.

Ohh

Uh-ha! It worked! Well, someone had to

shut him up. At last, our

glorious journey had begun.

Captain's law. Stardate sixteen

point... Oh, wrong phone.

Day sixteen, and I plot stood

watch. Like my ancestors before

me, I knew this sea. I knew this

cart. I knew this boat. Hey,

what's this do-hicky?

Sir, what happened?Nothing. I'm

innocent. Nice move, Popeye.

Captain, we're seeking. It can't be.

We did that gag already. What?You're

gonna bring up redundancy now?

Fear not, my generally loyal crew. We

will make it. Nothing can stop us.

For, like my ancestors before me,

no obstacle, no matter how

insurmountable, will stop me. With

God as my witness, I will never

go hungry again.

Because I've just lost my appetite.

Do something, Captain Plot. You're our

leader. I quit. You're the leader.

What can I do?Order them to stop?

Bingo!

Captain, look. A toe crosser. Dash itall.

Have you got correct chain?Let me check.

We did it. I am a good leader.

Decisions made in stressful situations

don't count.

I am still the leader. And we're still

sinking.

You can be the leader for the next scene

or so.

Good work. You're demoted now.

I'm the leader.

In keeping with my theory, we prepared to

dine on the delectable food my ancestors

did back in the ancient 1970s.

Here you go. Hamburger helper, fiddle

faddle, Cheez Whiz, and screaming yellow

zonkers with a delicious glass of bubble

up to wash it all down.

I'll skip lunch.

Day 18, and we're in the dreaded

doldrums. How will we reach salliness

in 21 days?As the captain,

I must keep my spirits up for the sake of

my crew, who, I fear, are near the point

of utter terror.

Utter terror takes a lot of different

forms, okay?

Time was running thin, but we were full

of faith. What was I thinking?

Sailing from Yap to Salinas in 21 days!

I'll be laughed on the Explorer's Club!

sh**t me! sh**t me now!

You're right. Nothing easy is ever

simple. We shall overcome obstacles

and laugh in their general direction.

One more cheery cliche and I'll turn your

face inside out.

Captain, the wind's kicking

up! Then, man the beanbag chairs, hoist

the fresca cans, and head for

Salinas!

Captain, I think we're headed into a

storm. Piss-tossing nonsense!

What gives you that idea?

Ah, that's no storm! It's the end

of the world!

Where's Captain Pluck?Captain Pluck?

Captain Pluck?

I'm sorry, men. We failed.

I tried my best. I really did.

I'm a failure!

But to quote Frank Capra, No

man is a failure who has friends.

Thank you, Clarence. But Captain Pluck,

we made it. We succeeded.

I did it!

Yahoo! Why do those Poppin's Explorer

Club buffoons hear about this?

I, Cluck Hiredoll, am the

bravest explorer of all time!

Bobby, make it stop! Well,

somebody had to shut him up.

When the Film Con Ducky came to the

screen, it captured the imagination of

millions. But how was it done?

What genius had the strength?Insight and

patience to see it through. Who was so

brilliant, so smart, so

intelligent?Who wrote this stuff?

Just read it. Now join

me, Buster Bunny, as we take a look

behind the scenes at The Making

of Conducky.

This is Blocky Ducky. The writer,

producer, director of Kanducky. A

mature professional. The definition of

grace under pressure.

Not in my face!

For the filming of Kanducky, locations

like Brazil, Tunisia and

Tibet were not used. It was all done

in a soundstage.

When I first saw the cover to the BookCon

Ducky, I thought it would make a great

film. And if I'd read it, I would have

been sure. Like, we're ready to start

sh**ting, PD. Like, what is it,

PD?What is it?Look at my

chair! Pluggy Doug. How

am I supposed to be a creative genius in

a chair for Pluggy Doug?Are you

insane?You, simpleton, you...

Capable assistant, you. Please fix the

chair, dear one. Oh, the

burden of brilliance. Did you get that?

Lucky's dedication to perfection requires

that he look exactly like his character.

So the beginning of each day involves a

full eight hours of makeup. A plaster

mold is made of his face and then

carefully removed by a time-tested secret

movie magic method. Monsieur directeur

Plaquille. Someone has parked in your

very private parking space.

What?Who?How dare... Who?Nobody parks in

my space. Nobody! A

latex mask is made from the mold.

And finally, the highly detailed mask is

applied. Total time, eight

hours. But it's worth it to look like

this. Don't you think?

Other cast members must wear a full

costume that covers their entire body.

I am not a crook. Did

I mention I'm only getting scale?

Megastars like Plucky Duck rely on

support from their co-stars, as seen in

this rare behind-the-scenes footage.

Nothing! Um..

Uh-huhNothing easy

is ever simple. We shall

overcome obstacles and... Nothing

easy is ever shall overcome obstacles

and... And laugh in their

general directions.

OK, cut.

Ah, mango juice.

Stunt duck! Stunt duck!

I'm not sure if I want to do this, P.D.

Hampton, babe, Swinehart, listen. Sure, I

could use just any old stinky duck. But

you, babe, you are the only one who can

act. You think so?I don't have

to think. I'm the director. You've got

talent out the snout. Now go get 'em,

sucker. Action!

Ah, mango fruit.

Not fruit.

Juice. Mango juice. Let's do

it again. Action!

Uh, mango drink.

Juice. Mango juice.

Uh, mango liquid refreshment.

Mango wango.

I'll say Charlie Weaver to block.

You imbecile! You call yourself an actor?

Give me that! You open the

bottle and say... Ah,

mango juice!

Print that!

We did a tremendous amount of special

effects for this movie. If you added up

all the effects in close Encounters, ET,

and the Back to the Future movies, you'd

have a very large number. We didn't do

that many. But for the storm scene, we

did build the largest fan system ever

constructed. And action!

After losing six weeks sh**ting time to

the fan incident, Pucky decided to

construct the storm scene at Industrial

Light in Hocus Pocus. First,A scale

model of the boat was filmed in a storm

situation.

Oh, my ancestors! Oh! Done! The

actors were filmed. It's the end of the

world! These state-of-the-art

servo-controlled motors are operated by

trained professionals.

To be an adventurer is to be

obsessed. I've already worn

this hat. I need a new hat!

If adventure has a name... It must be

Plucky Duck. What a wonderful joy it's

been working with this creative... I

can't read that next word, Petey. Genius.

Genius!

After the film is edited and the

soundtrack added,

the director views the final product.

I'm a genius. I am a genius.

A toast to me. Ah,

mango juice.