01x06 - A Quack in the Quarks

[bunniefuu]

If you're lucky, it's Plucky. I'm

absolutely Ducky. Other shows seem yucky

now that Plucky's on the air. I'm wacky.

I'm quacky. He's an egomaniac-y.

Hampton plays the lucky of this duck

extraordinaire. Who knows?The way to

close his endless babbling beak. Drop an

ankle down upon his feathery physique.

Toast him. Roast him. The show will still

be most him. It's the Pocky Duck Show and

it's on each week. His antics are

frantic, at times he gets romantic. My

talent's so gigantic, it'll burst from

your TV. The writers are hackers, the

artists always hackers. The actors are

yackers. But don't complain, it's free.

Clarky goes to Acme Lune to learn to be a

star. There are other tootsters at the

school. But who cares who they are?So

enjoy, don't be coy, and don't fall for a

decoy. It's the Pocky Duck Show, come and

laugh alone. I also

wrote this song.

And to cap off my truly stupendous

weekend, I infiltrated a secret spy

ring, and arm-wrestled 50

evildoers,

thus saving Acme Acres once again, thanks

to my invincible heroics and good-natured

party-mallard personality.

HuhHuhOh, sorry,

Babs. The sudden silence startled me.

Don't you think you laid it on a little

thick plucky?Not to tip the plot or

anything, but someday, all that

bragging's going to get you in a lot of

trouble. Ah, relax, guys.

Speezers have to be colorful, don't they?

Well, what have we-- I'll say, what have

we here?

Meet Frank and Ollie, new transfer

students who need to get acquainted with

the Looniversity. Glad to have you,

kids. Whereabouts do you come from,

anyway?

Uh-huhUh, cute little tikes,

but I think they're about half a quart

low. All right, which one-- I say, which

one of you'd like to show Frank and Ollie

around?Looniversity tours are my

speciality, sir. Nobody's more qualified.

Everything in my life has led up to this

moment. Deep six the sermon, son. Just go

show 'em the ropes.

Phew! That duck spits out more words than

a dictionary in a garbage disposal. Uh,

speaking of garbage... What?Who wrote

today's script?Be nice.

This is the Skoll Lab. Let me know if I'm

getting too technical for you.

Of course, advanced chemistry is a snap

for someone of my high IQ. A little of

this, a dash of that. It's really very

simple when you're a genius. Ah, the

miracles of science.

Hmm, root beer.

And finally, here's our hallowed

athletic field. Scene of many

record-breaking performances by yours

truly. Ah, yes. Too bad you couldn't

see me in action. The picture of grace as

I planted the old pole.

Hey, where's Plucky?Isn't he going to

walk home with us?Well, I don't know. Old

Motormouth's probably still on his tour

with those new students. I don't know.

Even one of Plucky's tours wouldn't last

this long.

Well, not too shabby, huh, guys?What do

you think?We think you're perfect.

Our planet sent us to bring back the

bravest, strongest, and fastest Earthling

alive. And you're it.

Planet. Planet. Planet. Earthling. Oh,

now wait a minute.

Blocky's been ducked up by aliens.

Some students, some

transfer. Must be for next scene,

students. Maybe France. We

apologize for tricking you, Plucky. But

you're our only hope. Our people lack

courage. We need a brave leader.

Like you. Well, when you

put it that way, I guess I do fit the

bell, don't I?

Fellow citizens, meet our new

leader, Plucky Duck!

I never realized aliens had such

impeccable taste.

Ooh, the elders will be pleased with us

for finding such a brave warrior to save

our planet. Yes, and it's gonna take

all the bravery pluck he has to conquer

the evil space tyrant, Duck Vader.

The duck makes how much?Gross or net?I

don't know, but that's what I hear. With

or without points?With. That

can't be right. He's not even a star. Get

my agent on the phone. Ready on the

set. Place this, people. Come on, now.

Slay the cameras. Are you rolling?A-quack

in the quarks! Act two, take two!

And action. Plucky's been

ducknapped by spacemen. Quick, meet me in

the prop department. Right. You got it.

Wherever you are, Plucky-h* buddy, hang

on to your feathers. We'll find you.

Patience, Plucky. These hero tests are

merely to prove to the planet elders that

you qualify as our new leader.

Patience, folks. We guarantee this

earthling will measure up. Uh, next

test. How are you at

weightlifting?Are you kidding?

I'm the best darn weightlifter in the

universe. That does it. We've seen

enough. Oh, I'm so glad.

I don't understand. Plucky said he

was the best. Guards,

take them away.

Well, it's about time. What color is my

limo?And where are we going?You don't

want to know.

Keep looking, guys. It's in here

somewhere. Buster, over here. I

found it.

Great. All right, everybody, stand clear.

All

aboard!

Prepare to blast off! Aye aye, Cap'n!

Ignition!

Blast off!

Sorry you can't come with us, elders, but

I'll bring you a souvenir.

Oh, wise, elders, please

reconsider. And nurse, we saw

Plucky perform amazing feats. Then you

shouldn't mind joining him. On his

ultimate chance to prove himself.

Hey, is this any way to treat a guest?

This tour better be good. I'm a busy

leader, you know. Ah, my royal beanbag.

Perfect for napping. No plaque, that's.

Jakarta me plaque. Plaque.

Jakarta.

Never showed you cut anything red, not

even your tongue. It's the ball in him.

Don't worry, I won't. It's the chicken

and me. Oh,

no. He's here. Who's here?Oh,

that is the one interrupting the stew.

It's, it's Darth Vader!

Who dare stand in Doc Vader's way of

destroying Planet X?Oh,

Porky Doc, our great leader. Go

on, Plucky. Show him who is boss.

Yeah, OK, sure. He doesn't look so scary

to me.

Is it suddenly hot in here, or is it just

me?Remember, in space,

no one can hear you quack. Gee, Babs,

outer space is bigger than I thought. How

are we ever going to find Plucky?How?

I'm glad you asked. With the help of our

trusty acne computer and one of Plucky's

feathers, retrieved conveniently from the

scene of the abduction. Computer, find

this duck.

Uh-oh. Don't look out, but Plucky's

feather is tickling the computer. That's

over-explaining the plot, please. He's

out of control!

You know, I've always been curious. How

come they call you fellas Stormtroopers?

I had to ask. We know you're allowing

yourself to be captured just to lull Doc

Vader into a false sense of security. But

don't you think it's time you walloped

him?Silence. My intercalactic

zapper way will soon blast Planet X into

goat cheese. But first, we'll test it on

you. I'm

warning you, wise guy. You better think

twice before you test anything on me.

Because I do lousy on tests.

Soon you will be turned into goat cheese,

you foolish hero, you. Any last

words, doomed one?Yes, I'm

allergic to goat cheese. Yes!

Yes

Bless me.

Oh, do I have to do everything myself?

Follow him.

Come on, come on, come on

Plucky, why did you tell us that you were

the best on the Earth?Hey, guys, I was

just having a little fun. I didn't think

it'd hurt anything. But you're fibbed.

None of it was true. Now we'll be

destroyed by the greatest tropes.

Says who?This is one duck who's not

running another step.

Well, maybe just a few more steps. Oh,

little

doggy! I can't hold him down much longer!

Any bright ideas?

You know, it's so crazy, it just might

work.

All hands, stand by! Peel

onions!

Action up speed, computer!

So far, so good. Now to figure out where

we are.

Ow! Hey, why don't you what, Gulp?

Uh, don't look now, g*ng, but we've got

company.

Buster, Plucky's aboard that ship.

Then we're going out. Spaceships,

h*!

Stay with the ship, Captain. I'll call if

we find trouble. Remember, Babs, we're

parked in A5.

I think we lost him. Is this thing on?

Attention, all Stormtroopers. 2

minutes till we destroy planets. Our

planet. It's doomed.

Baloney. You're not going to give up now,

are you?But we can never win against

Darth Vader.

Never say never. Nobody can beat you

except you. Let the Force be your

umbrella. If you believe you can do it,

you can do it. And I know you have what

it takes to beat these schools. Really?

You bet. Now get in there and get tough.

Remember, a stick in time saves a lot of

embarrassment. You can lead a horse to

water, you know, but a a pencil must be

led. When the going gets tough, this duck

goes bye-bye. Yeah, come on, Duck

Vader. Why not scared?Yeah. Yeah

Lucky. Yeah!

Hey, wait, hold it. Stop!

Buster, Babs! Oh boy, am I glad to

see you. A whole planet's about to be

destroyed. What was this?The rehearsal?

Hampton, we got trouble out here. Help us

quick! Coming, Buster.

Yay! You're not Buster, but

how did you... Help, Hampton! Come

quick! I also do magic

tweaks, like making pigs disappear.

You have been second. 10 seconds until

we destroy Planet X. Walk deathway on

top. Phew. Good thing I always carry a

can of this with me. Don't you wish

everybody did?



I said

fire.

I'd like to see that Clawed Duck Vader

stop us now. Be

careful what you wish for, Mallard. See,

has anyone ever told you you smell

exactly like 30 weight motor oil?

So now you're sore, huhSteam iron breath.

Very perceptive. But you're all going to

cheer me up just by standing on that

platform. Thanks. But no

thanks, helmet head. We won't do it, and

you can't make us. Oh, we

weHampton! The

platform or the pig?It's your decision. I

don't know. That platform's pretty nice.

The pig works cheap. You know, I'm

getting double scale for this episode.

You what?Well... We're

thinking! We're thinking!

Okay, the platform. I

knew you'd come around.

Let the force be your umbrella.

Nah. Never say never.

Nah. Never showed you could anything red,

not even your tongue. That's it.

Hey, we fell. Hold still.

I've been flamed. Were we?

And for saving our beloved Planet X, we

proclaim you, Frank and Ollie, our new

leaders. And we're history majors.

Ta-ta. HuhEasy come,

easy go, I guess. Lucky, we couldn't have

done it without you. Well, Riley did

pick the best duck for the job after all.

Oh, shucks. Well, it's nothing I

haven't done before. You know, that

reminds me of the time I... Lucky!

Hey, if I'm lying, may a laser strike me.