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01x13 - One Minute Till Three/Sticky Feathers Duck/Duck in the Dark

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Plucky Duck Show". Aired: September 19, 1992 – February 12, 1999.*
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A short-lived spin-off of Tiny Toon Adventures concentrating attention mainly on Plucky Duck himself.

01x13 - One Minute Till Three/Sticky Feathers Duck/Duck in the Dark

Post by bunniefuu »

You're lucky. It's Plucky. I'm absolutely

ducky. Other shows seem yucky now that

Plucky's on the air. I'm wacky. I'm

quacky. He's an egomaniac-y. Hampton

plays the lucky of this stuff

extraordinaire. Who knows the way to

close his endless babbling beak?Drop an

angle down upon his feathery physique.

Toast him. Roast him. The show will still

be boasting. It's the Pucky Duck Show and

it's on each week His antics are

frantic At times he gets romantic My

talent's so gigantic It'll burst from

your TV The writers are hackers The

artists all with crackers The actors are

yackers But don't complain, it's free

Rocky goes to Acme Lune to learn to be a

star There are other tootsters at the

school But who cares who they are?So

enjoy, don't be coy And don't fall for a

decoy It's the Pucky Duck Show, come and

laugh aloneI also

wrote this song.

Welcome, Tunatics. Today, we're

presenting three hysterical duck tales.

Don't use that word! Uh,

three duck stories. Uh, duck cartoons.

That's right, that's right. Three

hysterical duck cartoons. All

written, performed, produced, and

directed by yours truly, A Plucky, a

duck. Yes, faithful duck fans, thanks

to your avalanche of cards and letters,

I'm the star today. We had to give him

one show. It was in his contract. And so,

without further ado, on with the best, no

plucky duck.

And so, when animating a

three-dimensional trapezoid, the square

root of the hypotenuse multiplied by the

cotangent equals the volume divided by

the diameter. Are there any

questions?No, Miss

Branny.

Let me out of this t*rture chamber. It's

Friday, I want to go home!

Come on, clock, do it, do it!

Yes, 259. One minute to three.

One short, sweet minute to an entire

weekend of goofing off. Let's review

what we've learned this week about

computer animation, shall we?Who can

tell me the key framatory sequential

delivery for a pan to the tenth power?

Any moron knows that. It's three, four,

four, six! Duh

This weekend, write an 8000 page term

paper on the history of four-dimensional

animation. Your paper is due

Monday.

Now let's see if anyone else will be

doing a term paper over the weekend.

Oh, please don't let her call on me. Oh,

please, oh, please, oh, please, don't let

her call on me. Why didn't I study?Oh,

please don't let her call on me. I don't

even know what class I'm in. Oh, please,

oh, please, oh, please, don't let her

call on me. Shirley the Louv.

Shew. Shirley, how do you

animate the circumference of a square?

Like, a square doesn't have a

circumference, so it's like totally

impossible to animate. Like, totally

wrong. Nothing is impossible in

animation. 8,000 page term

paper due Monday. This is a

nightmare. Make it end. Come on, you

stupid clock. Move it. The pig. Pick the

pig. Please, pleasePick the pig. Pick,

pick, pick, pick, pick. Hampton.

Ohh Thank you, thank you, thank you. Yes,

Hampton. Now, what's the formula to

avoid strobing when animating in 3D

through a picket fence?700

times the mass of the animated character

minus pi.

by this cake?Wrong!



Monday. Ohh

This is the longest 60 seconds in the

history of time! Come on, you stupid

clock! Cut me a break! Now

let's see. Who haven't I called on

yet?

Did you ever get the feeling you were

being set up?

Who is making that racket?

HmmI think we'll just go right down the

middle row here answering questions.

Only seconds left. She'll never make it

to me. Yes, yesGo, clock, go! Go, go, go!

No!

Be patient, Plucky. You'll get your turn.

Now, Elmira, can you tell me how to use

trigonometry when animating a dog and

cat fight?First, you animate the

animals, paying attention to the soft,

furry coats on each one. And then

you put in the cuddly parts so you want

to squeeze them and love them and hug

them forever. Oh, and you

also use trigonometry. That's

very sweet and very wrong.



Monday. Ohh

Now for you, little beeper, let's find a

tough one. I'm next. What will I do?

I hate you, you timepiece from Hades.

Ohh What's the solution, little beeper?

Wrong.



And now, Plucky, it's your turn.

Using Faustic's method of bifractal

computation, give me the minimum number

of quantified pixels needed on the

bilateral view screen.

I'm dead!

What am I gonna

do?I'm waiting. When

in doubt, stall. Excuse

me, Granny, was that a trifractal

computation?Bifractal, then quit

stalling. Oh,

gee, Granny, give me a break. It's Friday

afternoon. Class is almost over.

Your answer, please.

But, Granny, it's 259.



absolutely correct.

Huh

Hmm

Let's go, Plucky. I'm hungry.

Whoa! Check it out, guys. Junk food

heaven.

Whoa!

There's what I want. The Acme Super Duper

Munch and Crunch Bar. With

our mugs. Pathetic. I mean, like,

hit rewind, plucky. We spent our last

quarter in the arcade, remember?This is

not a problem.

This is not a problem. I know how we'll

get some eat.

It's sinfully easy.

Hey, think about it, guys. It's a big

store. Only one guy on duty. He'd never

notice if someone took one lousy candy

bar. But that's

stealing. Oh,

like Mando Bet karma, Plucky. Mayura

and I are out of here.

Like...

Fine, that's more chocolate for Hampton

than me.

Freeze, you! Honest, I've lost my

appetite. Just follow me and do what I

say.

ohh Remember, act

casual. Good afternoon, my

good man. We thought we'd stop in your

fine store for a look around. Right,

Hampton?That's right.

Just looking around, plucky.

Good. Come, Hampton. Let's peruse the

cold cuts. Now, split up.

He doesn't suspect a thing. Can I help

you boys?

Sorry, he gets a little edgy around

microwaved burritos.

Yeah. Can I help you with a purchase?

No, thank you, my slime fellow. I believe

we're still looking. Correct, Captain?

Yes, that's right. We have no idea

what we want.

There it is.

The Acme Super Duper Munchie Crunch Bar.

With almonds. No one's

looking. Go for it.

I can't do it, Plucky. It's wrong.

Sheesh. I have to do everything around

here.

Let's go.

Did you hear that?You mean that horrible

crinkling sound?

No, keep going.

Try walking really slowly.

Nothing you wanted to buy?Uh, no, my

good man. Nothing today, I'm afraid.

Well, then. Have a

nice day. Thank you.

Well, eat up, bud.

I'm not hungry. You eat it. It was in

your pocket. You eat it. It was your idea

to steal it. You eat it. Well, you like

chocolate more. I'm on a diet.

You eat it! Eat

me. Huh

Eat me.

Eat three. Here I

am, boy.

Today you're ripping off candy bars.

Soon you'll be caused and Banks

never. Who knows?

Here, Mr. Bakari, we were hungry and took

this Acme Super Duper Munch and Crunch

Bar with almonds. We're sorry, and it was

stupid, and please don't call our folks

or send us to jail, because we'll never,

ever, ever do it again. We've never felt

so bad about anything in our lives.

It was a nightmare! Well,

what you did was wrong, but at least you

were honest enough to admit it. Phew.

What a relief. There's nothing more

important than honesty, and you've shown

that you're... Wow, this guy is so

impressed, I bet he'll give us each a

candy bar free. In closing, I'd like

to tell you both. Here it comes. Now, if

I ever see you in here

again, I'm calling the police!

Uh, yes, sir!

Were you gonna eat that all by yourself?

Get out of here!

How sweet. Fresh

meat.

Oh, boy. Eddie Cougar's the best movie

monster ever.

This is the last time I invite that duck

to spend the night.

Oh, I can't look. That's

too gross. Oh.

But this one's even grosser.

What?It's 3 a.m. Enough is enough.

But I was a slugman from Neptune. A

classic. Bucky, you've been watching

horror flicks for 10 hours already.

You'll have nightmares looking at all

this junk. Nightmares?Mwah!

Come on, Buster. Only a total idiot would

be scared of these movies. I rest mycase.

Ah, the poor scaredy bunny can't take it.

There's nothing to be afraid of.

Good night.

Nah. Uh,

Buster. Good night, plucky.

Good night.

I'm surrounded by crazed maniacs!

The only crazed maniac around here is

you. Well, they were here.

I knew it. You're scared. It's those dumb

horror flicks. Me?Don't be silly. I'm

afraid of nothing. Good.

Click.

Duck! Babe! Now!

But now! Don't

worry, Plucky. You can beat this.

Yeah, sure. There's nothing to be afraid

of here. Take that vampire over there.

It's not a vampire. It's only Buster's

clothes on a chair.

And that werewolf?Look, it isn't a

werewolf, it's just a bunch of stuff on

the dresser.

No! No

Buster?

Oh, did you hurt

yourself?To

tell you the truth. I have felt better.

Plucky, wake up. Those crummy movies gave

you bad dreams. Wait a sec.

Prepare to dream your last nightmare.

I almost forgot. We've got 12 hours

before we've got to return these tapes.

We can watch them all over again.

Some people just don't appreciate fine

cinema.