Shredder (2001)

[bunniefuu]

Jesus Christ!

Christ, Cole!

You scared the sh*t out of me!

Save your energy for the mountains.

Come on.

Or we could do it right here.

Hey, good call.

And mess up all my clothes?

Don't you want it to be special,

and romantic, and unforgettable?

Back in the bathroom then?

I'm sorry.

I'm just, really anxious for this weekend.

A romantic getaway alone,

holed up in a secluded mountain chalet,

just the two of us.

Honey, about that romantic weekend alone?

No more rsvps.

Well, that's too bad.

I think there's room for one
more on the luggage rack.

Aw, don't you be such a grumble bunny.

Relax there, bunny.

We just came to shred and no doubt,

my cousin dragged us along
to cramp your style.

Close up.

World-champion snowboard god kirk Armstrong

and, this chick.

Pike.

Exterior: U.S. 23.

The fateful road.

The road to...

The highway to destiny.

At the wheel, we have Cole Davidson.

Cole, you look very,

very focused. - Oh sh*t.

Very intense.

Hey, are you prepared to
face death on the mountain?

Your camera's going to make us crash!

Dang, stop!

Jesus, man!

I'm going to chop off your
arm, you crazy driver!

In the front, we have hot
Robyn with hot coffee,

and at her side, miss Kimberly Van arx.

Beautiful, sexy, rich. - That's right.

So tell me, miss Van arx,

how does a college co-ed

come to be the owner of
a private ski resort?

Well, you see, it's not exactly private.

It's more along the lines of closed.

We're just going to go up
there and check it out

and daddy's company is going to develop

20 jillion vertical feet of virgin powder.

Virgin powder.

That's what I'm talking about.

Robyn could use a
blizzard with that sh*t.

Yeah, bite me.

Oh, don't listen to her, baby.

I respect you.

Out of my face, dweeb!

Ow, you hit me.

Oh! God!

Pull over!

Live, on tape,

the world's sloppiest home videos.

When good coffee goes bad.

Ha ha!

T-shirt.

Pull over, please.

Okay.

Let me out!

There's nothing like seeing
a beautiful pack of women

visiting the watering hole.

My god, my god.

Hey pike, pike!

Yo pike, hey, take this.

Document everything.

Oh, right.

I'm going to film my pee.

So you can sell it on the Internet.

She wants me.

Pubic flosser.

What?

Dude, she will be mine.

Carpet muncher.

What, like bi?

Pike, d*ke.

Pike-d*ke.

Come on, she's not g*y.

You don't know that.

Whatever, she's waiting
for the right man.

Who? You?

The world's oldest living virgin?

I'm saving myself.

Yeah, for a farm animal.

Darn, it's not coming out!

You can get a new one.

Honey, the sweater's from Paris,

not some downtown discount store

like ugly clothes for the sheep

or hillbillies of California.

You are starring in
Skyler's next wet dream

secrets of the ladies room.

Hot girl on girl action.

Here it is, Skyler.

As close to the real thing

as you're ever going to get.

Kimberly, do a striptease for Cole.

Or are you still making him beg for it?

Oh, now why would I stop?

It's kind of nice having
my own little puppy.

You know he
won't always be satisfied

with just humping your leg.

Cole's not really my breed, you know?

Maybe I'll just have him fixed.

What do you want?

This week, Chad.

Chad charnley.

He's meeting us at the lodge.

Ooh, can we share?

How much longer to this
ancient ski hole anyway?

I don't know.

On the map, it's about 70
miles up the road or so.

Hello.

Hi.

Uh, skirt, symbol for the ladies room.

Where the door is always open.

Well, in my country,

men and women share the toilet.

It's okay.

Where are you from?

I am from Europe.

Christophe.

And I am Robyn.

You are getting all wet.

You can tell?

Oh, no way.

Oh, sh*t, forget it.

He could be some psycho
k*ller, for Christ's sake.

sh*t.

Nice.

J well I still haven't found

j any place in this world j

j where a man can say he is free »

hurry up!

J many people I've known j

you drive like my grandmother!

J many seeds that I've sown j

j but I still haven't found
any place in this world j

j where a man can call his own j

j so I'm walking on j

j walking on, walking on j

j walking on and on j

j no I still haven't found j

what's this idiot doing?

Blow past him dude!

Come on!

Learn to drive, as*h*le!

Hey, knock it off, dude!

You trying to get us k*lled?

Like he can catch us!

Just get back in the car!

as*h*le!

J never stand at all j

j walking on, walking on j

j walking on and on j

j no I still haven't found
any place in this world j

j still haven't found any
place in this world j

j when I wish I was walking ♪

"Operated by olympic
champion skier buddy Williams,

"his wife, and two daughters.

"Rocky summit is one of the last

"family-owned ski resorts in north America.

"As friendly as it is quaint.”

More like as
unfriendly as it is haunted.

I think your little guide book might be

a little bit out of date.

Well don't you have the key?

We haven't exactly bought it yet.

But you can
still get us in, right?

Sure.

Local boarders only.

J put your head between j

j your knees j - yo, wait!

Kirk!

J and kiss your a*s goodbye j

j 'cause we're all gonna die j

j 'cause nothing's gonna save us j

j feeling especially old has begun

j but I'm still having fun »

j gonna make it down a street j

j inviting all the girls to sleep with me »

j the sky is glowing green

j I'm feeling good about myself

j even though I'm gonna rot in hell

j asfar asl cantell &

j the ending of the human race j

j but I still got j

j my swino on my face j

j I just wanna get laid ~

j I just wanna get laid ~

j I just wanna get laid ~

j before I die j

J I bring this ring alive

j even though I'm flat and broke j

j I'd still manage to make it all a joke j

j and before I joke »

j 1 try to make it clear to you j

j that I'm not going out

j without a skirt j»

come and get me!

Are you all right?

I am cool.

I just saw something.

Js get laid j

j I just wanna get laid ~

j before I die j

Hey!

Hey, wait!

Baby!

Don't break in without it.

Hey, whose stuff is that on the porch?

It's freezing in here.

Well, I'll make a fire, I guess.

She was so hot, and she skied like a pro.

This place is abandoned, man.

She's either a local or a ghost,

and either way, she's not
begging to blow you.

Downhill phantom.

Whatever, dude.

I saw her, and she was skiing,

and I'm not making it up.

Hey, how many boards do you need exactly?

These are pro samples, dude.

If a company can put kirk's name

on one of these babies, it,
like, doubles the value.

Firestone.

Weren't those things recalled, bro?

Inca, respect.

It's not the board that counts, man.

It's the rider.

Hey, chill out.

He's just giving you sh*t, dude.

Kirk is like the master
of all this pro crap.

Do you know that this man right here

took the silver medal at the shasta games?

You are god!

Hey, wasn't there, like, a
urine test for substance abuse?

And he's also up for the Olympics, man.

There's only one guy standing in your way.

Charnley.

Chad charnley.

Have you seen him?

His stuff's here, but I
guess he's still boarding.

No way.

Just a little healthy competition

for a second-place medalist.

Don't let that affect you, dude.

You are going to kick Chad's a*s

in slow motion like a John woo movie,

with the doves and the church

and the two g*ns and all the blood!

Oh, my god!

Dude! - What?

We have a serious flaw

in your social planning here.

There is an immediate beer run required

to ensure the survival of our species!

Since you're going, don't
you think you might need

some, like, food or something?

You're a sweetheart.

You know, chips or something.

Hey, yo Christian, you want
to ride to town with us?

No, no, you go ahead.

I'll stay here, look around.

Keep the ladies warm.

Weekend alone in the
mountains, priceless.

98.74.

For everything else,
there's my credit card.

J I heard the same old bad advice again

You fellas ain't heading up

to rocky summit, now, are ya?

No, sir.

Huh?

No.

Not us.

What's rocky summit?

According to the legend, it's haunted.

Weather changes every five
minutes, angry spirits.

Okay, then.

Well that's good advice.

Thank you.

Thank you very much, sir.

I'm telling you fellas for your own good.

Listen to me.

Stay away from rocky summit.

There's folks around here don't want you

nowheres near that old place.

It's dangerous.

Evil.

That was her, man.

That was the chick that I saw skiing.

I want to.

Well, that figures, man.

Your little mystery-ghost girlfriend

works at the nightclub of the living dead.

She's an angel, dude, not a ghost.

She's cute, all right,
I'll give you that.

No, she's mega-spankworthy.

Spankworthy?

You just said spankworthy in my car.

You are so not sleeping in my room.

Holy sh*t!

What an as*h*le.

Holy sh*t!

Jesus!

Here I go.

So good!

Two in a row.

I get to make a new rule.

My new rule is no more drinking games.

Oh, come on!

Truth or drink.

Yeah!

Truth or dare, okay?

No more drinking.

It's kind of like that,

except for when we don't like your answers

you have to drink.

No, no, that sounds suspiciously

like a drinking game.

Okay, okay, I go first, I go first.

Are you afraid to go
without underwear, cousin?

J come on, baby, light my fire »

truth, baby, truth, truth!

Good morning.

Oh, my god.

Sexy!

This is some quality!

Yeah!

That's what we like to see.

Wear that trophy on your head, son.

Prom.

Hook it up!

Come on, honey!

She's raising the stakes.

That's my girl.

Raising the
roof is more like it.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

I think it's stuck.

Maybe you can help me sky.

Tada!

That's my girl!

Who the hell is that?

Charnley.

Chad.

Tell me what the hell
is going on in here.

Who the hell are you?

I'll ask the questions here.

Now you kids understand you know,

that I'm going to have to
take you all in, don't you?

You're trespassing.

How can we trespass on our own property?

I'm Kimberly Van arx, as
in Van arx construction.

That's great.

I'm the sheriff,

as in you have a right to remain silent.

Hello, sheriff.

Why don't you just come
right in to our party

and let us warm you up?

Look, you can't stay here, no.

This whole place is condemned.

Ooh, toney.

Is that as in tiger?

Hi, like I said, my
daddy's buying the place.

It's really sweet of you
to take care of us.

You're so nice.

And so handsome.

Yeah, it's really not safe up here,

what with the murders and all.

The murders.

Let me get some I.D.

Oh, lordy.

No, look, look, you can't stay here,

no matter who you are.

I gotta run you all in.

I gotta run you out.

I gotta...

This wind, it just

chills me to the bone.

Maybe you got some ID, too?

Officer, here's my I.D.

Yeah, okay.

But you better be gone first
thing in the morning.

You're a very
compassionate man, officer.

Yeah, I don't, I don't
want to see you kids

up on that hill with
your g*dd*mn snowboards.

No one wants you up here. - Oh yes.

It's very dangerous out here,

and that's a fact.

I just don't want to see

anything happen to you, you pretty ladies.

You know, we never caught the k*ller

so you got to get out.

God, he grabbed my a*s!

What the hell did you get us into?

Wait, this place is scary,

but it's not deadly, right?

Oh, well, actually, it sort of is.

So why did this place close down?

Okay, like, 100 years ago
when snowboarding was new,

they tried to ban it up here.

You know, attracts the
wrong element, not safe,

but of course, people were riding anyway.

And then there was this egregious accident.

Wait, I believe officer easy-bribe

used the word m*rder.

Okay, there was this little girl.

She was kind of, like, skiing by herself...

And these three boarders, totally faded,

like, 10 point a million
blood alcohol level.

No, please!

Leave me alone!

Bono.

Skied a tree.

You mean she died?

1 guess so, duh.

So what happened to
the assholes that k*lled her?

That's the weird thing.

They had these, like,
perpetrators, you know,

but when the cops went to arrest them

they had just vanished.

Wait, so how did uncle warbucks

end up buying the place?

I guess daddy heard
about the tragedy up here

and the ski resort couldn't
get insurance or whatever

after the little girl died,

so our lawyers are working
with the bankruptcy court.

So we're checking out an investment?

I mean you tricked us into breaking

into an abandoned ski resort,

the site of unsolved murders,

K*llers on the loose?

Wait, we're shredding on the
grim reaper discount plan.

Bad Karma.

Word.

You and your old man

are gonna incur some serious Karma deficit.

Totally.

And they say the ghost of the little girl

still wanders the slopes,

seeking revenge.

And when the wind picks up,

you can hear her crying

for her long lost family.

Jesus!

The window!

Ooh, scary.

There was someone there, seriously.

Was it a k*ller ghost of a little girl?

No, more like...

Chad.

Chad.

Hello, is anyone there?

Hey, come on, Skyler,
let's go take a look.

Uh uh.

Kirk?

Jacques cousteau?

Ah, come on.

You're all a bunch of pussies.

p*ssy!

Boo.

Holy sh*t!

Oh, Jesus Christ.

m*rder*r part's making you jumpy?

You're cruel, pike.

Hey, check it out, electricity.

No no, no g*dd*mn way
am I going down there.

Right, k*ller ghost of an eight-year-old.

I'm sorry, you've got
more ba*ls than any of us do.

What is that supposed to mean?

Hey, relax.

I was just kidding.

It's always like you guys to
take everything the wrong way.

Us guys?

Which guys?

Hey, you know, I mean, it's cool, baby.

Your lifestyle is none of my business.

My lifestyle?

It's okay.

I know, I understand.

I'm with it.

I like chicks, too.

Did Kimberly tell you that I'm g*y?

Well, you know.

Pike, d*ke.

And Cole rhymes with as*h*le.

Intrusive b*tch.

Ah, sh*t.

Ooh, the modern miracle of electricity.

Don't go into the light!

Nuh uh.

Awesome!

I bet this whole mountain has power.

Awesome! - Alright!

Tomorrow we ride in style.

Leave me alone!

Help me please!

Don't.

I'm not g*y, I'm just horny.

You're not my type.

God.

J the time is right »

j the time is now j

j you got me whips and bones

j you slip and slide into the night j»

j you gotitall ;

j but she wanted more j

j she wants j

j she wants j

christophe.

Christophe?

Help me!

What the hell are you doing here?

Christophe?

Christophe?

Here I come, yoo-hoo!

Oh christophe.

Christophe.

Oh, Mr. handsome, where are you?

Shh.

You scared me.

Where were you?

I was searching the house.

For you.

I'm right here.

J you are naked »

j got to have j

j well built &

j so tight »

j your kiss is like a spider bite j

j show me j

j what you want j

j if youwant s

j what you want j

j what you want j

j what you want j

j what you want j

j what you want j

j what you want j

j what you want j

j what you want j

Can I get some eggs or something?

Scrambled, not too runny.

She must be the f*ck of the century.

I've known her my whole life,

and that's the only
reason why I can think of

that anyone would ever put up with her.

So let me know if you find out.

Morning.

Oh, hey.

Where were you last night?

Did you miss me?

You're a sight to behold.

Ladies and gentlemen, good morning.

Morning.

It's time.

Morning.

Let's ride.

Don't you think we should
wait for Chad or something?

He could be lost.

No.

Or maybe we should report him missing.

And get arrested for trespassing?

No, screw him, man.

He's a survivor.

Regardless, if he's frozen solid somewhere

it's time to board.

Powder.

It's time to shred!

Powder!

Besides, there could be a whole mountain

of freshies up there, cuz.

You know it!

It's boarding time and we are
gonna shred until we're dead!

Come on, sexy!

If Chad was dead, you
would totally be on top.

You would be the f*cking endorsement king.

You would have so much cheddar.

You should've k*lled him a long time ago.

Oh, sick.

No, dude, even if we
were supposed to be here,

we weren't allowed to do that.

Disgusting.

Dag, that's like trespassing
while you're trespassing.

Tight.

Dude, no!

How are you gonna clean
up on Chad's sponsors

if you're k*lled by the drop?

Later.

Yo! Man!

Hey, I hope you know your way back!

'Cause there's no ski patrol out here

and I'm not coming to get your a*s!

J you're taking this all way too hard j

j put the barrel to my head j

j and by Christmas I'll be dead j

j take my life j

j I'm a hollow washed-out boy

j anyone j

j today j

j I said take my life j

j I'm a hollow washed-out boy

j anyone j

j somebody k*ll me j»

j put me out of my misery j

j somebody k*ll me j»

j please k*ll me

hey, when are you gonna ditch the skis

and become a shred buddy like

the rest of your generation?

Okay, here's my problem
with snowboarding.

Snowboarding has completely
ruined the fashion of skiing.

Exhibit a, your giant a*s.

Now gaze upon the work of
art that is my derriere.

Alright, woo hoo!

Well, I could teach you to ride.

Come on.

Hey, label baby, your artwork a*s

is gonna enter its blue period.

Its black and blue period.

I was just kidding.

Seriously, I'll teach you how to rip.

I thought you weren't supposed

to teach a girl how to ride.

That's drive, you're not supposed to

teach a girl how to drive.

Single.

Look, seriously, I'll teach you.

It's cool, it's no big deal.

But christophe has technique
that you can't compete with.

Well, we shouldn't separate, okay?

What if you get hurt or something?

You know what?

Maybe I'll call you sometime.

Leave me alone!

Help me please!

Yo!

Whoa!

Whoa, dude!

Oh, gouge.

You, Karma, bad.

J somebody k*ll me j

j somebody k*ll me j»

holy sh*t!

Cole!

Oh, sh*t! Cole!

Oh my god, Cole!

Cole!

Are you all right?

A dead snowboarder!

I could tell you were gonna go

for a little mouth-to-mouth
there, weren't you?

Get out!

I didn't even touch you.

Somebody was dicking with my bindings.

A poor workman blames his tools.

Blow me, okay?

I was going to, but you woke up.

Oh, damn!

Come on, help me.

Get up.

We're gonna have to share a board.

Come on.

Whoa!

I totally didn't see you coming.

I didn't know anyone else was up here.

Hello, hot babe talking to you.

Are you deaf or just rude?

My girlfriend owns this place, Mr.
Friendly guy.

And we only share with people
who don't totally suck.

Get used to it.

You know, you don't have to like us,

but boarders are the future.

Whatever.

We make our own rules, dude,

and you better get used to it.

Those are skiers rules, as*h*le!

What is your damage, dickweed?

You could've k*lled me!

I don't ski, I shred.

Oh, beautiful baby.

Look at the snow bunny.

Hey, hottie!

Over here!

I'm right here!

Ow!

You surprised me.

How come I'm the one injured?

Well I'm usually up here alone,

but thanks for fixing my chair lifts.

I saw you skiing yesterday.

And at the bar last night.

You're one of those
snowboarder guys, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Just boarder or shredder.

Shredder's good.

Sounds dangerous.

Danger is my middle name, baby.

Skyler.

Skyler's my name.

Oh, hi, I'm Shelly. - Hi.

Whoa!

Maybe you're
the one who's dangerous.

You don't even know, Skyler danger.

I could teach you to ride.

To do the snowboard.

No.

Oh, sorry.

Well, no, it's just, I tried it once,

but it's not for me.

Hey!

Oh, sh*t!

Wait!

Stop the lift!

Somebody help!

Curses.

The snowboarding superhero

and his fair maiden are foiled again.

Wait, let me be your
knight in shining armor.

All clear up top?

Not really!

All clear bottom?

Dude, you are so k*ller.

You live up here long enough,

you learn some job skills.

Okay, okay.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hey!

Oh god.

Whoa, whoa!

No!

And I'm telling you, he's only, like,

the best snowboarder in the entire world.

That's what I'm doing my documentary on.

So, how come you chose

our little mountain to do your movie?

Well, it's not really like that.

See, my friend's, like, buying the place

and she wanted us to come
and, you know, check it out.

Well, actually, she wanted
kirk to come and check it out.

You know, I'm just along for the chowder.

My dad hates snowboarders.

He says you're all irresponsible.

Well, I'm not really a snowboarder.

I'm a filmmaker.

Snowboarding's just my hobby.

Wouldn't you rather ski?

So where do you...

Are you...

Where do you live?

Go ahead, go first.

No, it's okay.

We are staying at the

old lodge.

Jeez.

You can't stay there.

Well, it's cold, and it's pretty creepy

but, hey, the price is right.

No, I mean,

well, I used to work
there, before my mom died.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

Damn.

Wow.

I like the cold when it gets hot.

It's kind of like going from
the hot tub to the snow.

Right.

Yeah.

No, I totally understand.

Sometimes I wear boxers, you know?

Keep in the chill.

Yeah.

Your hand, it's so warm.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

Oh, my god!

Uh, keep your, keep your t*ts.

Uh, sh*t.

Keep your tips up, prepare to unload.

Hey, get your a*s over here!

Shelly.

God, dad, are you following me?

Don't get smart
with me, young lady.

You know better than to
get mixed up with this.

You are a control freak.

I can take care of myself.

No, you get your a*s back home now!

I warned you kids to stay away from here.

My friends are buying the place.

Nobody's bought nothing!

You get your friends off this mountain

or you'll have hell to pay.

And you stay away from that girl.

Hey, man, but...

Whatever, dude.

Deborah to Kimberly, can you hear me?

Kimberly, can you hear me?

b*tch.

Kimberly.

God damn it, you made me fall over.

We're having lunch.

Where are you?

I'm in the snow on the damn ground.

It's cold up here.

Come and get me.

Hey, are Robyn and christophe with you?

No, they ditched me.

Sit tight, okay?

We'll come find you.

Where the hell have you been?

Kimberly.

Never mind, someone's here to rescue me.

Well, what about your lunch?

Eat it.

I have a surprise for you, my angel.

Okay, we'll catch
up with you later then?

Hey, Cole!

Cole, dude, yo, wait up!

Hey hey.

I totally saw her!

Who?

Shelly, man.

The bartender chick.

I talked to her, man.

We hanged.

Well, we hung.

Shut up.

No, dude, I'm serious!

She's totally into me!

Whatever, I'm serious.

Wait, she skis nude.

Aw, what, did you smoke,
your entire stash in one day?

No, no, he saw her, too, man.

But not, like, nude or skiing.

That old dude was there,
too, but, he was...

That's a totally whacked snowman.

Oh, my god.

Whoa!

Your sense of humor is perverse, Skyler.

Too bad it's totally fake-looking.

Holy sh*t!

What in the hell did you do that for?!

Jesus Christ!

That sick b*stard.

Who?

That g*dd*mn, that
euro-trash piece of sh*t.

We gotta find Kimberly.

Kimberly!

Kimberly do you copy?

Kimberly!

Is anyone here?!

Oh, man.

He called her his little snow angel

or some sh*t like that.

I mean, if he could k*ll the sheriff,

who the hell knows what
he'll do to Kimberly.

Wait, you think that christophe did that?

I never trusted that guy.

No, come on, Cole, he
was right here all night.

Oh, was he?

I mean, you saw the way he
looked when Skyler filmed him.

Oh, come on, guys, we
can't jump to conclusions.

We don't know who k*lled
frosty the sheriff man.

It could have been Chad.

No one's even seen him.

Chad's not here.

Listen, you saw the way he acted

when the sheriff came in.

He's freaked out.

He's totally split.

So, he's got a problem with authority.

Why are you defending him so much?

I'm not defending him!

But just because some
jerk-off exotic foreigner's

a threat to your shitty relationship

with that manipulative
b*tch of a girlfriend

does not mean he's a k*ller!

Listen to me.

Your cousin is fighting
for her life out there

and who the hell knows what
he did to Robyn and kirk.

He's right.

We should go form a
search party of our own.

Hey.

Whatever.

Such exquisite beauty

I have not seen since Florence

and Raphael's Venus.

Stop it, christophe.

But I cannot help myself.

Venus, the goddess whose
very name represents beauty

is nothing compared to your loveliness.

No, I mean it.

Can the little act.

It's getting old.

It's time for us to play
our own little game

of truth or dare.

Whose dump is this?

I can explain...

You didn't meet up with
us by accident, did you?

Did you? - No.

I saw you at the gas station.

I heard you talking, and I
just thought that you...

No, no, no, no.

You know this place too well,

and you were hiding from the sheriff.

Yes.

What are you, what are you doing?

No, give me that back!

"Chris ramos, 217
central Avenue, Fresno?"

Fresno?

This,

this is my friend's parents' place.

Before the accident, we used
to come up here every year.

You are quite the bad boy.

You had me fooled until you pulled out

the high school French.

No, you don't understand.

I needed to get in the lodge, all right?

Since I've known you, you've done nothing

but pose, front, and lie.

I kind of like that.

Come on!

These tracks totally go through here!

Rip it up!

No way, dude!

Oh, man.

Pike!

Kimberly!

Pike!

Kimberly!

Pike!

There's more to it.

Really?

I'm a k*ller.

But the whole thing was an accident,

and not like in your story.

You know, about the little
girl, the ghosts, all that.

I think my friends were m*rder*d.

And what's this, your knife?

What happened to that
little girl was wrong,

but we didn't k*ll her.

Then who did?

It was all one big accident.

I mean, I think my friends
were k*lled for it.

You know that girl Shelly,

that's hanging out with your friend?

Well, I guess you could say we dated

and she was a little young and, anyway,

it was her little sister.

The whole point is, her
dad hates snowboarders

and I think he did something to my friends.

In order to prove it, I
had to get in the lodge.

So you're like Mr. detective guy?

Fugitive is much sexier.

Yo, kirk!

Dude, you in there?!

Kirk!

Kirk?

Kirk?

Cool.

Well, he's not in here, so,

come on, let's go.

Come on.

Pike, girl, it's freezing in here.

Wait.

I'm out, no, I'm out.

I'm out.

Check out all this junk.

These things are everywhere.

"Drunk driving teens
k*ll wife of resort owner."

Hello?

Kirk?

Damn.

This place is nuts.

"Snow-surfing."

Whoa.

Hey, get a shot of this doll and junk.

"Rocky summit closes early."

Dude, come get a shot of this.

Whoa, this thing's totally real.

Creepy.

I don't think that's a doll.

Whoa! - Oh, my god!

She's like preserved!

No sh*t!

Frozen.

Jesus, this dude is sick.

If the dude that k*lled this little girl

also k*lled the sheriff, that makes him,

like, a serial k*ller.

Cool.

No, no, I mean, from a documentary...

Whatever.

Yeah, until he kills you.

Wait, what if this is the
little girl that was...

No, this is crazy.

sh*t!

Get him off me!

Oh, my god, get up, get up!

Go, go, go!

Come on!

My camera!

Hey!

Back off!

Yeah!

Cole!

What the hell are you doing?

I swear to god, it's not
what it looks like.

I can't believe this.

I risked my life to save yours.

I thought you were in danger.

I was trying to go slow
and not pressure you.

I didn't realize you were
saving yourself for...

I mean, he's a k*ller!

I mean, do you realize that
you're banging some m*rder*r?!

No, I know.

He told me it was an accident.

Accident?

What the hell are you talking about?

He k*lled your friend,

and he m*rder*d the sheriff in cold blood.

The little girl wasn't my friend.

Jesus!

God damn it, Cole!

God damn it, Cole!

Cole, Kimberly, over here!

What happened?!

We just had a
rendezvous with the k*ller.

No, no, no, no.

She's been keeping him busy.
Stop calling him that!

We just saw him!

We found kirk's body.

Oh, sh*t!

What do you mean kirk's body?

Yeah, and then the mo'fo attacked me.

Hey, your g*dd*mn lover
is a k*ller, okay.

He stabbed the sheriff,
and he got Robyn, too.

She's strung up on the lift.

He told me it was an accident!

No, no, no.

He's a cold-blooded k*ller.

Wait, I'm telling you,

if christophe was with her

there's no way it was him.

I was face-to-face with the
k*ller 10 minutes ago.

Christophe is not a k*ller!

The little girl was k*lled in an accident!

Wait, wait, what little girl?!

The fossil.

Freaky, frozen dead girl.

What about Robyn?!

She's been dead for a while now.

Aren't you cold?

No, no, no baby.

You gotta let me get some rest.

I'm tellin' ya, you're gonna k*ll me

if you make me go another time.

Oh, no.

Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I didn't say anything, okay?

Don't do this.

Don't don't do this.

Oh, god! No!

No!

Okay, it's not him.

Let's get outta here.

Call the sheriff!

The sheriff's dead.

Jesus Christ.

sh*t!

sh*t!

We're screwed.

Damn it!

The sheriff, Robyn, kirk,

probably Chad.

Careful.

Oh, my god, that's it.

We're irresponsible.

We're negligent skiers.

What?

That's why he keeps k*lling us.

We broke the rules.

Look.

"Observe all posted signs and warnings.

Help me.

"Keep off closed trails
and out of closed areas."

That's kirk.

"State law prohibits
riding lift or skiing

"while under the influence
of alcohol or drugs."

I didn't break any of those rules.

And that's why you're not dead.

Come on, knock it off, all right?!

He's not k*lling us because
of these stupid skier rules.

Hey, reality check!

Nobody would k*ll over this, okay!

Because if he was, we'd
all be dead already!

Just give it time.

Look, haul bleeder upstairs right now.

We've gotta get outta here, okay?

Owl!

Kimberly, find
some weapons or something.

= no! No!

Ow!

Normally, I'd charge you
extra for multiple piercings.

I have a coupon!

Hold that closed.

Sorry.

Jesus Christ!

A gift from Robyn.

Maybe she'll have to wear something else

to the debutante funeral.

Ouch! Stop!

We have to get out of here!

Wait, not tonight, okay.

He's down for the count,
and we don't have a car.

There was a radio and a
telephone in the basement,

but they're dead along
with christophe's friends.

What, snowboarders?

Not anymore!

How did they get down there?

I don't know!

I didn't ask them, they've
been dead for a while!

They could have been
down there a long time

like that girl.

Freaky, frozen icicle chick.

But you know what, for
future reference, Kimmy,

the next time we're being
stalked by a serial k*ller,

do not go into the basement!

How's it going, tool master?

Not good.

Look, go back inside, okay, it's not safe.

Pretty weird in there, too.

Cole.

Just in case we don't get another chance.

There, I just wanted to
get that out of the way.

Good call.

We could just run around the lodge

in our underwear until we die.

That's not a bad way to go.

No.

Yes!

I'll be right back.

I guess I should have taken shop.

You know you can't k*ll me

'cause I'm still a virgin.

Skyler?

Skyler

Whoa, hold it!

I'm sorry, Chad.

Okay, try it again.

sh*t.

Cole, Cole.

Cole!

Cole, can you hear me?

Cole.

Cole.

Kimberly?

Is that you?

Kimberly.

Oh, god!

Keep away from me, you b*stard!

Why do you want to k*ll me?!

I didn't do anything!

I'm innocent!

Kimberly.

I said crank it.

Kimberly?

Kimberly, is that you?!

I'll be right back.

Where are you going?

Just fix the g*dd*mn car!

Oh, Jesus.

Honey.

Never

loved you.

Yes, yes!

Woo!

What?

Pike!

Pike!

Pike!

Come on.

I'll wait.

Pike!

Son of a b*tch.

Son of a b*tch!

Where are you?

Come and get me!

You got the ba*ls.

I'm so irresponsible!

Complete lack of responsibility here!

I have no idea of the
proper loading technique!

And I shouldn't even be using
this equipment unsupervised!

Look!

Check it out!

No safety strap!

I have no device to prevent
runaway equipment!

And I'm littering!

I never take responsibility for

people ahead of me on the trail!

Where the hell are you?!

Come and get me!

I hate skiers!

Oops.

sh*t.

sh*t!

sh*t!

sh*t!

Holy sh*t!

God damn it!

Okay, okay, extreme sports.

Life or death.

Freeze!

Stand up!

I'll f*cking sh**t you!

Get off my mountain!

Who are you?

Why can't you leave us alone?

Leave you alone?

Are you crazy?

You k*lled my friends!

I didn't k*ll anybody!

Who are you?

Lose the mask, you b*stard!

You?

What the hell?

You g*dd*mn snowboarders k*lled

my wife and my little daughter.

A dozen simple rules, and
you irresponsible punks

can't follow one of them!

Freeze!

I'll sh**t youl!

Look, son.

I was just trying to scare you all.

Get you off my mountain.

Nobody's been k*lled up here but my wife

and my precious little girl.

Don't you f*cking move!

I'll sh**t youl!

1 told her to stay away from you.

I said freeze!

It's blanks!

I told you to leave!

Hello?

Is anybody here?

Can anybody hear me?

Is anybody left?

Hey! Hey!

Over here, stop!

Stop!

J have you ever heard such pretty melody

j everywhere »

sh*t.

Damn it!

What the hell?

Damn it!

Snowboarders off my mountain!

Who's the shredder now, huh?

Hey!

Shred this, b*tch!

I'm so glad you're not dead.

Me, too.

So, like, what's the deal

with this nickname of yours?

I mean, just so you know, I'm liberal.

I mean, if you wanna be,
like, bisexual or something,

you know, bring chicks
home, that's cool with me.

Or not.

J well I finally found a girl that's true »

j and I'm the luckiest man alive j

j you can talk and talk til
your face turns blue »

j but she won't believe your jive »

j yeah Moses said it on sinai &

j don't you mess around
with other men's wives

j you can try your luck on mine, sly j

j but she won't believe your jive »

j well she believes me when I
tell her that I love her »

j that I'm the happiest bee in the hive j

j I don't worry about her
messing with you, brother j

j cause she won't believe in your jive j

j there you go rapping with my gal

j I watch you strut and strive j»

j I just laugh cause she's
mine all mine, pal =

j she won't believe your jive »

J well she believes me when I
tell her that I love her »

j that I'm the happiest bee in the hive j

j I don't worry about her
messing with you, brother j

j cause she won't believe
in your jive, clive »

j there you go rapping with my gal

j I watch you strut and strive j»

j I just laugh cause she's
mine all mine, pal =

j she won't believe in your jive »

johnot

j she won't believe your jive »

j bop badabop j

j she won't believe your jive »

j she won't believe in your jive »

j my my j

j yeah yeah