01x05 - Saturday's Hero

[bunniefuu]

♪ [Music playing]

Hey, raj,
you're wrong.

We don't have the worst
football team in the city.

We got the worst
football team in the world!

That's why the band
plays taps at halftime.

How bad was it
this time?

They beat us
63 to nothing.

Whew! Somebody ought to do
something about that team.

Somebody tried.

You know how the referee
ends the half by firing
the g*n up in the air?

Well, today he fired
at our team.

Now, wait a minute.

I think
that was an accident.

All 6 shots?

Hey, hey, raj,
cool it. Here comes
the football team, man.

6 Shots!
Over the head!

6 Shots.

Whoo, shots...

Blew another one, huh?

Well, you look like you need
something to pick you up.

Yeah, we sure do.

Well, go stand
by the curb.

I'll flag down
a garbage truck.

Ha. Ha. Whoo-hoo!

I suckered them in
that time, didn't i?

Good going, shirley.

[All laughing]

How was rerun?

Ah, now, he was
the greatest.

Really?

I'm telling you, shirley.
He was electrifying.

He had all the moves.

Rerun?
Rerun.

Hey,
what's happening?

Let's cheer up
the team.

♪ Although you lost
20 in a row ♪

♪ At least you had the guts
to show ♪

♪ Rah! Rah!
Rah-rah-rah! ♪

♪ We will find
a cheer that fits ♪

♪ Even though our team's
the pits! ♪

♪ Rah!

♪ Rah!

♪ Rah!

Later, rerun.

I hope so, darlene.

I'm starving.

You're always
starving.

Hey, shirley, how about
a nice, thick hamburger?

You got it.

One giant slab...

For king
of the flab.

Listen, guys,
good news.

Cancel all plans
for next saturday night.

My brothers came through
with 3 tickets.

We're going to see
gladys knight and the pips.

[All]
hey! Yeah, ha-ha.

Man, man, man, you sure
are lucky, rerun,

Spending all that time
with them foxy cheerleaders.

When are you going
to fix me and dwayne up
with darlene and cindy?

Wow!

Forget it, raj.

Cheerleaders only dig
football players.

Well, you're
a cheerleader, rerun.

Well, which one
you diggin'?

Watch it, dwayne.

Excuse me, freddy.

Ah, hi, coach.
Nice try!

Thanks, freddy.
Come over here.
I want to talk to you alone.

It's ok, coach.

We can talk
in front of them.

They're my
best friends.

Ok, then I'll get right
to the point.

I'd like you to be
on our team.

Hey! Right on.

Me?

Yeah. Listen, I've been
watching you
on the sidelines.

You're big,
you're quick on your feet,

And we could
really use you.

I don't know.

I could get hurt,
I'm delicate you know!

Do it--

Do it for the school.

Nah!

Do it for
the glory.

Nah!

Do it for me.

Where do I sign?

Let's see...

Let me take another look
at that football book.

All right.

[Murmuring]

What do those ox,
ox, oxes mean?

Those are not ox, ox, ox.

We're trying to help rerun
learn his football plays,

And these letters
are the diagram
of a football play.

[Both]
that's right.

The xs are
the other team's players

And the os are
our players.

Then you made
a mistake, raj.

Now what is that?

You forgot rerun.

[Knocking on door]

What's happening?

Hey!

I'm the greatest!
No one can stop me!

Hut! Hut!
Hut! Hut!

Hey!

Look out,
short stuff!

I didn't want
to hurt her.

Hey, I see you got
your uniform on.

It looks great.

Yeah. 86.

Do they put everybody's
waistline on their uniform?

Hey, you've been
so busy all week,

We've hardly seen you.
How's it going?

Great. Everyone's
crazy about me.

I'm one of the front 4.

Hey.

You are the front 4!

Dee, get lost.

See you later,
o.j. Simple.

Come on, man,
let's get to work.

Look, I appreciate
all this,

But I can't study
the plays tonight.

Again? Now, what's
the excuse this time?

Well, I have to go
to this team gathering.

We'll work on the plays
for a while,
then we'll go with you.

You can't.

See, it's just
for the team.

No friends allowed.
You guys understand.

Oh, ok.
Oh, ok.

I knew you would.

[Girl]
come on, rerun.

You said this would
only take a minute.

We're going to be late
for the party.

I--i thought
you said
no friends.

I did.

If they aren't friends,
what are they?

♪ Strangers
in the night ♪

♪ [Humming]

Shirley! Set 'em up!

One round of sodas
for the team!

We really did it
today!

They finally
won a game?

Close,

We only lost
20 to 3!

You should have seen rerun.
He was all over the field.

Yeah? What'd they do?
Lie down on him?

[Cheerleaders]
♪ rerun, rerun, he's our man

♪ If he can't do it,
nobody can ♪

♪ Rerun, rerun,
he's sure great ♪

♪ He's one man
who can pull his weight ♪

Whoo!

Please, girls,
please, please,

My head is swelling.

Back off, girls.

If his head swells,
we won't know
which end is which.

You were
wonderful, rerun.

I was, darlene,
wasn't i?

There he is!
Come on, let's go
and congratulate him.

Wait, maybe this isn't
the right time.

What do you mean,
it's not the right time?

Well, looks like...

I don't know, like,
he wants to be alone.

Oh, dwayne, come on.

Tell us what was
running through your mind

When you blocked
that kick, rerun.

I was saying
to myself,

Mmm.

"Rerun,

"You gotta do something
extra special

For the gorgeous girls
on the sidelines."

Oh, rerun!

♪ Rerun, rerun,
he's our man! ♪

Oh, yes, I am!

Hey, rerun, rerun.
Great game.

Yeah, really good,
rerun.

Thanks a lot.
Hey, by the way,

Let me introduce you.

Everybody, this is
raj and dwayne.

They're my
best friends.

Hi, raj,
hello, dwayne.

So, now, what time
are we meeting for
the gladys knight concert?

Concert?

Oh, yeah, I'm sorry
about the concert.

There's a
slight problem.

What is it?

I only have 3 tickets,

And darlene and cindy
and me make 3.

I don't believe it.

I thought we was
your best friends!

You are.

And you just proved it
by being so understanding.

Aren't they
the greatest?

Yeah, they're the greatest
next to you, rerun.

"They're the greatest
next to you, rerun."

Come on, dwayne,
let's go.

Yeah, see you later,
rerun.

Yeah, right,
little fella.

And you take care,
4 eyes.

[All laughing]

Come on, everybody.
Let's go celebrate
at my house!

All right!

Let's go.

Freddy, I want
to talk to you.

Hey, sure, coach.
You guys go ahead.
I'll catch up.

Ok, sure.

I did pretty good
for my first game,
didn't i?

Yeah, that's why
I'm gonna hate
to lose you.

What?

The principal called me.
You're failing atrociously!

That's crazy. I'm not
even taking "atrociously."

Freddy,
all your marks
are terrible.

You gotta do
something about it
before the next game,

Or you're gonna be off
the team.

And I have nothing to say
about it.

What am I gonna do?

Well, if you get an "a"
in your speech
in english class, monday,

You can stay
on the team.

Otherwise,
they're going to end
your football career.

I'm sorry.

How am I
gonna get an "a"?

I don't know. But for all
our sake, you better
figure something out.

Hey, little fella!

4 Eyes?

Somebody help
the dumb, fat kid!

[Raj]
do you believe that?

I mean, who does
he think he is?

[Knocking on door]

Sorry.

Raj, I got the feeling
that when you become a big
and famous movie writer,

You gonna
forget me, too.

No way, dwayne,
10 years from now,

When I'm a rich and
famous writer, you'll be
right there by my side,

Just the 2 of us.

Without rerun?

Of course. How will
I look 10 years from now

And hanging around
with a guy still
in high school?

[Knocking at door]

What's happening?

Hey, where'd you guys
run off to?

We saw you were busy,

And we didn't want
to take you away
from your friends

♪ And strangers
in the night ♪

Don't get
the wrong idea.

I--i've been under
a lot of pressure.

H-homework.
Homework. Homework.

I need you!

For what?

Homework!

You know my speech
that's due in english class
on monday?

Yes.

I've been so busy
all this week

That I haven't had time
to write it.

Why don't you skip the concert
and do it tonight?

Do you want me to break
the hearts of darlene
and cindy?

[Both]
yes.

Oh, please, raj,

You're my best friend.

I need an "a"
on that speech.

I--i know I've been lousy.

I'll change,
I promise.

Please, raj,
I need you.

All right.

All right, then.

You're the best friend
anybody ever had.

You know I wouldn't
let you down.

Oh, right on!

'Bye, little fella.

'Bye, focals!

[Sighs loudly]

Aerosol cans.

The topic of my speech today
is aerosol cans.

Aerosol cans deodorize
our bodies

While deoxidizing
the air.

Do you want your body
to stink,

Or do you want
your air to stink?

I think your speech stinks.

Child beating.

Don't you kids realize
it's 3:00 in the morning?

What's going on
down here?

I'll tell you, mama.

See,

I was upstairs
trying hard to sleep.

You know, if I don't get
my 8 hours of sleep,

I could be hard
to live with.

Well, when all of a sudden

I heard this scary noise,

Like the sound of
someone crumbling paper.

Crumble, crumble,
crumble.

I tried to go to back
to sleep,

But there it was again,

Crumble,
crumble, crumble.

I found it very annoying.

Oh, really,

Now, tell me.

And now on top of
all of that noise,

I've got to hear you
beat raj.

Slap, slap, slap.

Get out of here
before I slap your tail.

Don't you talk
to your sister like that!

Yeah, don't you talk
to your sister like that!

Shut up before
I slap your tail!

What are you doing up
so late, roger?

Just some homework.

Homework?

Well, you've never stayed up
this late doing
homework before.

You got a problem?

It's not my homework,
it's rerun's.

Rerun's?

You know it's wrong to do
somebody else's homework,
don't you?

I know, mama,
but this is different.

Different?

If rerun doesn't get
an "a" on this speech,
he's off the team.

Well, I wouldn't think
you'd want to help him after
the way he's been acting.

Well, it's not easy,

But we've been friends
a long time, mama.

Well, this is true.

[Laughs]

You're a good son, roger.

And maybe you might just
pass on some of that
goodness to rerun

In that speech.

What do you mean, mama?

Well, I'll put on
some coffee,

And you sharpen up all
those pencils.

We're gonna write rerun
a speech to beat all speeches.

Now, let's get on it!

You think
we can crack it?

If I get on it,
believe me, it'll crack!

Where's raj?
He's supposed to meet me
with the speech.

Class starts
in 5 minutes.

He's still working
on it.

You ask a guy to do
your homework for you,

The least he can do
is have it on time!

Man, has raj
ever failed you?

No, but every teacher
in school has!

Listen, just leave it
to raj, ok?

But I wanted to have time
to look it over.

I--i--i want to make sure
it's good.

After all,
my name is on it.

[Bell ringing]

See? There go
the first bell.

I'm gonna be late
for my class.
Good luck, all right?

Hey, what's happening?

Hey, rerun.

Hi, rerun.

I can't wait to see what
your speech is all about.

Me, neither.

Psst.

Excuse me.
My groupie calls.

Oh.

Hey, man!
What took you so long?

I just finished.
It took me all night.

Wow, it must be good.

It makes its points.
Here, good luck.

Thanks a lot, popeye!

Freddy!

You're already up!

Were you gonna start
without me?

I--i--i was just pacing.
I'm a little nervous.

No need to be.

Class,

Our first speaker today
will be freddy stubbs.

All right, freddy.

[Class cheering]

Thank you,
thank you very much.

Uh, and your topic is?

Uh, the topic
of my speech is

High school football.

All right!

Settle down, class.
Settle down.

Yeah, settle down.
Have a little class, class.

"High school football
is a great game."

All right!

"And playing it
can teach you many things.

"You can learn the value
of teamwork,

Leadership,
and competition."

[Class]
yeah!

"For most high
school students,

"Football is
a wonderful experience.

[All agreeing]

"But football can also
be harmful,

"Especially if
you're narrow-minded

And immature,
like most of us."

Continue, freddy.

"We're not special
just because we play football.

"Let's face it.

"Any guy who can block
and tackle

"Is no better than
anybody else.

[All murmuring]

He's just a big lunk."

Hey, who are you calling
lunk, punk?

Hey, class!

Continue, freddy.

"Some football players
let the scream of the crowd

"Drown out the whispers
of their friends.

And that's what
happened to me and..."

Keep going, freddy.

"And...

And the rest
of you turkeys!"

Does anyone
have any questions?

I have one.

What is it, freddy?

Can you walk me home?

Shirley,
check, please!

Dwayne, before you go,

I just want to say I'm sorry
for the way I've been acting.

Ok, go ahead.

I'm sorry for the way
I've been acting.

So am i, rerun.

I heard what happened
in english today.

An "a" on the speech
and a "d" on delivery.

That means you're off
the football team.

It sure does.

Are you mad at raj?

No. He did me a favor.

I almost forgot
who my friends were.

I've been
a no-good, lousy,

Rotten, inconsiderate...

Aren't you going
to stop me?

Only when
you're wrong!

Yeah.

As soon as I got on
that football team,
I changed.

I don't know
what got into me.

Eskimos calls it blubber.

I got it, dwayne.

No, no, you don't
have to.

Hey, it's the least
I can do.

Here, shirley,
keep the change.

Wow,

6 Whole cents.

What should
I buy first?

Why don't you buy
a new flea collar?

Will there be
anything else?

Hey, rerun,
raj just walked in.

Yeah, there is
something else, shirley.

Tell raj he's the best friend
anybody ever had.

Ok.

Then tell him to order
what he wants, on me.

I hope
he forgives me,
dwayne

[Shirley]
let's see,
there's 3 hamburgers,

2 Chocolate malts,

And 2 orders
of french fries.

And a piece of apple pie,

Uh, 2 slices of pizza...

Wow, was he mad!

I don't know if I would
have forgiven you
the way you forgave me.

Well, you forgave me
for writing that speech.

Hey, well, that's what
friends are for.

No, you know
what friends are for?

What?
Food!

What you got
in the icebox?

[Knocking on door]

Hi, y'all.

Come in!

And stay in.

Hi, rerun.

I thought your speech
was terrific,

And the cheerleaders
learned a lot from it.

We get a little stuck-up
sometimes, too.

Don't feel bad.

Let's kiss and make up.

You're funny, rerun.

So, so,
what's happening,
darlene?

Well, I just wanted to know
if rerun wanted to be
a cheerleader again.

Hey, why not?

Yeah, I think
I can do that.

♪ Hit him high

♪ Hit him low

♪ Hit him
where the daisies go ♪

♪ Kick him in the shin,
kick him in the knee ♪

♪ Kick him in the name
of victory ♪

Earthquake!
Earthquake! Earthquake!


Don't pay
any attention to dee,

She's just making fun
of you again.

Did anybody else
feel that?