01x17 - Dwayne's Dilemma

[bunniefuu]

Well, dwayne is on his way
over here now, angela.

Then we'll pick
you girls up, say 7:00?

Good.

Who, dwayne?

Hey, he's dying
to take brenda out.

Really!

I know you won't go
unless brenda goes,

But what really matters,
is you and me.

And a date
for brenda, right!

[Laughs]

Uh, I can't wait
to see you tonight.

Hmm-mmm.

Yeah, you don't know
how much this means to me.

I mean, I can't believe,
you finally said "yes."

Yeah.

See you soon.

[Smooching]

'Bye.

[Sighs]

Was that rerun?

No,

That was angela clark.

It took me 6 months
to get a date with her.

And what in the world
ever made her change her mind?

I promised her that
I'd fix her girlfriend,
brenda, up with dwayne.

I see.

Uh, what's her
girlfriend like?

Uh, I don't know.
I've haven't seen her.

But, uh, angela says
she's very pretty.

Does dwayne know
you haven't seen her?

Ahem, well, ahem,
uh, not exactly.

What's that mean?

Well,

I told him I saw her
and she was a fox.

I lied a little.

A little!

There's a big difference
between a fox and a dog.

Raj, what am I
going to do with you?

Try minding your own business,
miss busybody.

Thank you.

I'm gonna go
finish the dishes
ok?

[Laughing]

[Knocking at the door]

Come on in, dwayne.

Hey, hey, hey!

Man, let's go get
beautiful, foxy brenda.

Right!

Man, tell me a little
more about her.

Uh, huh... Huh?

Yeah, raj, tell him
a little more about her.

Yeah, you know,
describe her exactly.

Exactly.

Well, dwayne, I don't
even know where to begin.

You could start with legs
and go on from there.

Hey, beautiful legs,
great legs!

And she wears
nice shoes, too.

Man, who cares
about the shoes?

Her face,
describe her face.

Oh, this I gotta hear.

Oh,

She has
a great face,

Ahem. With, uh, you know,
eyes, and nose...

And, you know, things.

Things?
What kind of things?

Things!
What's the difference?
I don't know.

Wait a minute,

You set me up with
a total blind date,
didn't you?

Lied to your
best friend, didn't you?

You never saw her,
did you?

Answer him, raj.

Why don't you
go in the kitchen

And help mama
with the dishes?

Hey, dwayne, come on,

It's going to
work out fine.

And you'll be doing
brenda a big favor.

What favor?

She just broke up
with her boyfriend

And she's really
down in the dumps.

Oh, now, who do I look like,
the garbage man?

Come on, dwayne, please.
I promised angela,

And you know what
angela looks like.

Ah, she's beautiful,

But that doesn't mean
that i--

Yes, it does.

You know how all those
beautiful girls
stick together.

They travel in bunches.

You mean,
she might have that

Same great body,
like angela?

Yeah.

And that same
soft skin?

Hmm-mmm.

And that long
beautiful hair,

And beautiful black eyes,
like angela?

Yeah,
that's right.

Good.

I'll take angela,
you take brenda.

Come on, lets go.

Hey, shirley.

Raj and dwayne
been in?

Not yet.

You want anything?

I'll have a number 14.

Rerun, we don't
have a number 14.

What's a hamburger
with fries?

A number 5.

And what's a tuna
on rye?

A number 6.

And what's
a chili dog?

Number 3.

Well, add those up
and bring 'em over.

[Muttering]
bring 'em over...

Raj! Dwayne!

Hi, rerun.
You know angela.

Sure.
Hi, angela.

Hi, rerun.

A-and
this is brenda.

Hi.

Hi.

You're the brenda
he took out?

I'm the one.

That's impossible.
Why?

Because a blind date
don't look like that.

A blind date
looks like that.

Raj, would you excuse us,
one little minute?

Sure.

Be right back,
dwayne.

Ok.

You'd better
follow her.

The last time a girl told me
she'd be right back,

She climbed out
the bathroom window.

Hey, come on,
and fill me in.

I want to know
all the details.

Ok, I went and
picked her up.

Yeah?

We went to
the movies.

Yeah?

We sat
in the balcony.

Yeah?

And then
we came here.

That's all?

Yeah, that's all.

I did better with the girl
that climbed out the window.

C'mon dwayne,
I saw you holding her hand.

Only during
the scary part.

Oh yeah?
What did you see?

the pink panther.

Hey, d'you
like the movie?

Yeah, it was pretty good.
Were you there, marvin?

Yeah. Hey,
who's the lucky girl?

Uh-huh!
I don't want you,

Printing in that
dumb school newspaper.

Hey, I print
the news, man,

And you with a girl,
is news.

Here you go.

Wow!
You're really treating
these girls right.

Hey, this is for me.
I'm alone.

You're never alone,
rerun.

Just look behind you.

[Hooting]

Hey, I liked your date,
dwayne. Really great.

See you later.

Much.

Did you hear that?
Marvin thought
my date was great.

Right, right.
So you like, dwayne, huh?

Yeah, I like him.
He's nice.

He's a lot different
from darryl.

That's for sure.

Every time me
and darryl went out,

He'd end up in a fight
with somebody.

His temper
is unbelievable, girl.

That darryl
is an animal.

Look, all you
gotta do is ask her.

She'll go out
with you again.

But what
if she says "no"?

Now, why should she?
She likes you, doesn't she?

I don't know.
I didn't ask her.

You want me
to ask her out for you?

No!

Rerun, there are
some things

A man has to do
by himself.

Yeah,
that's right.

And with
nobody else around.

Yeah, all alone.

Hey, look, angela,
I just remembered

I have to get up
really early tomorrow.

Can we split now?

Oh, ok.

I knew
you'd understand.

I'll see you later, brenda.
Nice meeting you.

'Bye.

Rerun...

'Bye.

[Muffled voice]
come on!

Oh, oh, oh...
Hey, shirley!

You gotta
doggie bag?

Why would I need
a doggie bag?

Well!

You're taking your life
in your hands, sucker.

I-i gotta go.

See you later,
brenda, dwayne.

[Both]
'bye.

Raj said you had a boyfriend,
but you broke up.

Oh, if, that's
too personal,

We don't have
to talk about it.

It's none of my business.

What was his name?
Oh!

Why'd I ask that.
That was dumb.

Brenda, I'm ok
once I get to know a person,

In the beginning
I'm not too smooth.

I guess you
noticed that.

Oh, I don't know.

You arranged it
so we'd be alone.

Yeah. Pretty smooth, huh?

[Laughing]

You 2 want anything?

Sure. Oh, shirley,
this is brenda, my date.

Hi brenda.
Hi shirley.

I'll have
a grape soda, please.

I'll have
a, um, root beer.

And, uh, see that
I get the check, ok?

You got it.

Shirley's
our friend, too.

You come in here
a lot?

Sure. Don't you
like it?

Of course I like it.
Stop worrying dwayne.

I get over this nervousness
after I've known a person...

Good.
5 Or 6 years.

You're crazy.

I'm glad you think so.

Oh, dwayne...

I like you.

Good.

I'm glad to see
that you weren't fooled
by my shy act,

I'm really a tiger.

A grape soda
for the lady,

And root beer for
the king of the jungle.

Shirley...

You are shy.

Well, I used to be
shy and short,

But I grew up,
and now I'm shy and medium.

Well, mr. Shy and medium,

I haven't had a chance
to thank you yet.

For what?

Everything.

The movie,
the conversation,

The grape soda.
Thanks, dwayne.

[Exhales]

Uh,

W-would you like
to do it again?

Same cheek?

No, I mean,
go out again.

Tomorrow night.

Oh, I'd love to.

With me?

With you.

Oh, I'm gonna need
another drink.

Shirley, another root beer,
easy on the root.

Brenda!

Darryl, hi.

Move it.

Huh?

Darryl,
take it easy.

I said, move it!

What do you want me
to do, apologize?

Ok, I'm sorry.

That's better.

Now, would you
just calm down.

I'd like you
to meet dwayne.

Hi!

Hey, my name's darryl,

I'm brenda's boyfriend.

No, you're not.

Yes, he is.

You been out
with him tonight?

That's right.

I'm going out with him
tomorrow night, too.

No, wait. We don't
stay out late, or anything.

Just a couple of
nice kids passing the time.

Dwayne.

You're right,
I'm out of this.

Have a glass of milk
and shut up.

See? There you go.
You're doing
the same old thing again.

Brenda,
I am what I am.

There's nothing
I can do about it.

That's fine.
Would you take me home,
please, dwayne.

He's not taking
you anywhere.

Not tonight, tomorrow,
or no night.

Now, just a second.

I'm talking to her.

Oh, I beg
your pardon.

Brenda,

Tell your little friend here
to keep away from you,

Or I'll put
a real hurting on him.

Oh, come on,
darryl you're kidding.

Do I look
like I am kidding?

Do i?

I don't think
he's kidding, brenda.

Oh, dwayne, I'm sorry.
I really had
such a nice time--

Oh, brenda,
just a minute,

Dwayne, I've seen
those kind of guys before

And you've got
no problem,

'Cause you've gotta do
just one thing.

Yeah, what's that?

Move to chicago.

[Laughing]

And then he said
something about hurting.

Well, maybe
he was kidding.

No, I don't think so.

Why not?

Because then he said,
"I'm not kidding."

Angela did tell me

Darryl had a problem
with his temper.

I forgot about that.

Thanks a lot, raj.

Maybe you'd better
call it off, dwayne.

Write her one of those
"dear john" letters.

But I like her.

Then you better write
a "dear dentist" letter.

Listen, raj,
we've been here
a half hour,

Where's the food?

C'mon in the kitchen.

There's half an apple pie
and a box of twinkies.

I don't want any.

Good, there's not enough
for you anyway.

Ahem.

Oh, hi, mama.

I was just listening
to the door.
It sounds all right.

Is roger home?

He's in the kitchen
with rerun and dwayne

Having a very private
and confidential meeting.

Mmm-hmm.

Want to know
what it's about?

You've got to stop this
eavesdropping, young lady.

I couldn't help it.

See, I was in my room

And I decided to come
downstairs to welcome you

When you came home,
to see if you needed any help.

And as I approached
the top of the stairs,

My shoelaces
came untied,

So while
I was tying it,

I couldn't help hearing
rerun, dwayne,
and raj talking.

Dee?

Yes, mama?

You're not wearing
shoelaces.

I was as shocked
as you are.

Look, dwayne,
she's just another girl.

I'd forget about
taking her out.

Yeah, but you're not the one
everyone is going to be
calling chicken.

They were all there
when it happened,

Including marvin and
his little pad and pencil.

Well, hello, fellas.

Oh, hi, mrs. Thomas.

Oh, hi mama,
I didn't see you.

Do you have a problem,
dwayne?

[Dee]
it's that blind date
he had, mama.

See, her old
boyfriend told dwayne,

He'd beat him up
if he took her out again.

And dwayne's
already asked her out.

Help him, mama.

I'll work it out.

Really.

Let mama help you.
I don't want you
to get hurt, kid.

Well, what have you
decided, dwayne?

I'm still thinking
about it.

See, mrs. Thomas,
if I don't take her out,

Everybody will know

It's because her
ex-boyfriend told me not to.

Dwayne, you're too young
to get involved with women.

I'd suggest you
forget girls,

Stay home and play
with your frisbee.

You mean, this could lead
to bloodshed?

Only dwayne's,
mrs. Thomas.

Does this girl mean
that much to you?

Well, I haven't
known her all that long.

But that's not
the point, mama.

Then what is the point?

If dwayne doesn't
take her out tonight,

Everybody will think
he's a coward.

All you're worried about

Is what somebody's
gonna think of you?

Hmm. That's nothing
but false pride,

Which could lead
to false teeth!

But he can't run away
from darryl.

Listen, honey,

As general custer
would have said,

"A good run is better
than a bad stand any day."

But--but mrs. Thomas...

Look, dwayne,
it's just not worth it.

All this because raj

Wanted a date
with angela.

Ooh, raj,
how could you!

It's not his fault.

I'll see you later.

But dwayne,
what are you going to do?

Think about it.

[Door closes]

I don't see
what there is
to think about.

Any fool knows that

It's better be a live chicken,
than a dead duck.

[Music playing]

[Sighs]
boy!

Well, he's not at home.

You think
he took brenda out?

I don't know, maybe.
Who knows?

Hey, fellas.
Where's dwayne?

Not out with brenda,
I hope.

Maybe he is,
who knows?

Oh, come on.
Face it, man,

That dude
scared him to death.

He's staying as far away
from brenda as possible.

Marvin, take a walk,
will you?

Don't get uptight with me!

I'm just doing my job.

Then why don't you go do it
on the pomona freeway?

[Marvin]
hey, what's happening,
darryl?

What do you want?
We're out of raw meat.

Hey, I just came
for a sandwich.

Listen, darryl,
dwayne isn't here,

And if he was,
I don't want any trouble.

I'm not looking
for any trouble.

That's good,

'Cause I'd hate to have
to put you through
that dishwasher.

Can I just have
a menu, please?

I hope dwayne and brenda

Don't show up
while he's here.

I'll go and talk to him.

Don't aggravate him, raj.

I-- I won't. But this
whole thing is my fault.

I'll just tell him
the whole truth,

That dwayne has
an incurable disease,

And there's no point
in k*lling him,

Because he only has
a week to live.

I didn't know that.

Hi.

Ahem.

You're darryl, right?

I'm roger thomas...

[Clears throat]

Uh, dwayne's friend.

The one with the glasses!

Hey look, uh,

There seems to be
a misunderstanding
between you--

What do you want?

If you're eating,
I can come back.

I'm not eating.

Then you should eat,
it's healthy for you.

You're worried that
I'm going to hurt
your friend, right?

Yeah, something
like that.

Ok. Well, I'm not.

Good.

'Cause he did
what I told him.

He stayed away
from brenda.

He did?

Yeah.

I just called her.
She's home alone.

She told me he stood her up,
and she hung up on me.

That's smart.

I--i mean
for--for dwayne,

Because I can't understand

Why anybody would
hang up on you.

She thinks
I'm aggressive.

Oh well, that's...

Do I look aggressive?

Uh-uh!

See how nice
I'm sitting here,
talking to you.

Uh-huh.

Did I hit anyone
since I've been here?

No, you wouldn't
hit nobody.

Don't count on it.

I won't, good brother.

Well?

Hmm!

No problem.

Dwayne did
the smart thing.

He chickened out?

Yeah.

All right!

[Both laughing]

Sorry about your soda.

♪ [Music playing]

Dwayne!

Hi, brenda.
You ready to go?

I didn't think
you were coming.

Why?

'Cause
it's almost 9:00.

Oh, I'm sorry.
I had some thinking to do,

Lost track of time.

Look, I told you
last night,

You don't have to keep
this date.

Are you breaking it?

No!

I just don't want to
cause you any problems.

No problems.
Come on.

Where to?

The soda shop.

Oh, we don't
have to go there.

We can stay here
and watch some t.v.

I want to go
to the soda shop.

Darryl might be there.

I know, but...
Well, I know.

I'll get my sweater.

You're all right, dwayne.

So far.

Look, marvin,

You would have done
the same thing as dwayne.

Me? Are you kidding?

I'm not chicken.

Right on,
turkey!

You can write that in
your pad and stuff it.

Right on, shirley.

[Muttering]
jive turkey...

Hi, guys.

Dwayne!
And brenda!

Brenda and dwayne!

Dwayne and brenda!

[Roger]
uh...

Hey, dwayne,
is your father still a cop?

Hi, darryl,
you look swell.

Darryl,
wait a minute.

Between
him and me.

Now, look darryl...

Between him and me.
Butt out!

Right on.

Can't we discuss this?

No!

I can live with that.

Come on punk.
Outside.

Man, it's dark
out there.

Don't worry,
you won't be alone.

[Boy]
teach him
a lesson, dwayne.

Teach me a lesson?

Come on, dwayne,

Teach me a lesson!

You want a lesson, sucker?

Ok, school is open.

I got some dirty dishes.

Come on,
I'm waiting.

Darryl,
don't, please.

What's the matter?

Hey, don't tell me
you chicken.

Is that it?
Chicken?

No, I'm not chicken.

I'll fight you
if that's what you want.

That's what I want.

Well, what's it
gonna prove?

I mean who are you
gonna impress?
So you'll hit me,

And I'll bleed,
but I'm not going to
stand here and take it.

And I'm not going outside
with you.

So if you're gonna do it,
you might as well
just go ahead.

Well, come on.
Here, right here.

That's gonna make you
a big man, I suppose.

I don't know exactly
what I'm saying,

'Cause I'm
a little scared.

And if we go outside,

You'll probably beat
my brains out.

But I do know,
if you're gonna do it,

Well then, let's do it.

And now that I think
of it, I'm not scared.

Well, come on,
what are you waiting for?

Forget about
the whole thing.

No, let's not forget
about the whole thing!

Dwayne!

Dwayne!

For raj's sake,
we'll forget the whole thing.

You are all right
with me, tiger!

All right!

That's the closest
to getting k*lled
that I ever want to come.

And I owe you
an apology, dwayne.

If I hadn't wanted
a date with angela,

None of this
would've happened.

Well, at least it brought you
and angela closer together.

When are you
going out again?

Didn't you tell him?

Tell me what?

[Inaudible]

What?

She dumped me.

After I almost
got k*lled!

Come on, calm down,

She probably
wasn't my type, anyway.

That's ok. At least
I learned something today.

I stood up for myself
even though I was afraid.

And the 3 of us
stuck together...

Nobody can make us
back down.

Well, that's what
friends are all about.

"One for all,
and all for one."

Standing up
against anybody,

And sticking together
through thick and thin.

[Mama]
all right!

Who left all those
dirty glasses
in the sink, huh?

Dwayne.

Me! Wait a minute,
it wasn't me.
It was rerun.

He did it!

He did it!

He did it!

Dwayne!

Oh, no! I did it.

Yeah, you probably
forgot, mama.