03x01 - Disco Dollar Disaster

[bunniefuu]

Oh, hey, hey, hey.

Hey, raj.

Hi, dwayne.

Wow, man, this sure is
a lot of college books.

Let's see,

"introduction to psychology."

"introduction to geology."

What's that?

Ooh, "an introduction
to anthropology."

Man, don't you have
any courses that you've
already met?

Come on, dwayne, you know,
college is really m*rder.

It's only the first week

And already I have a test
in biology on thursday,

A test in geology
on friday,

And a paper due in sociology
on monday.

Well, if you've got all
that work to do,
what are you doin' here?

Well, where else can I study?

Rerun keeps me up
every night this week

With his disco music.

You mean, he still thinks
he's the disco king?

Yeah, he met a girl
at the new disco.

So all night long
he keeps practicing.

And I gotta watch all this
bouncing and shakin'.

And not just 1 body
but 2 awful bodies.

You mean
he brings her home?

No, he dances
in front of the mirror.

Can I look at this
for a minute?

Oh, sure.
Ok.

Hey, what's happenin'?

Hey, rerun.

What's happenin', raj?

Hey.

What's happenin', dwayne?

Hey, what's happenin'?

What's happenin', rerump?

Hey, you know what?
Charlene asked me
to be her partner

In the big dance contest
saturday night.

Oh, well, all right.
I bet you two could win.

We could except
for one little thing.

What's that?

There's a $25 entrance fee.

One little thing?

That sounds like
25 big things.

I was hopin' you guys
could help me out.

Sorry, rerun,
I'm practically broke, man.

Yeah, me, too.

But this means a lot to me.

Besides, the winner gets $100.

I could pay you back
with interest.

Oh, no, friends
don't have to pay interest.

Now I don't have
much on hand.

Dwayne?

But if we pool
our resources...

That's not a pool,
that's a puddle.

$2.14.

Ok, here you go,
that's $2.10.

Plus my usual 4-cent tip.
Thank you.

[Sighs]

Come on, raj, think.

Who has $25 to loan me?

Nobody I know.

Nobody but a loan shark.

[Rerun]
that's true.

Oh, jaws 3 is coming.

Are you really happy
to see me,

Or did somebody jam
a coat hangar in your mouth?

Let--let me
handle this, raj.

Come on over here, dee,

I wanna have a little
private talk with you, ok?

Hey, rob!

Yeah?

A grape soda
for the young lady, please.

Comin' right up.
Thank you.

Now, dee, I've never told you
this before,

But I've always
thought of you

As the dear
sweet little sister

I never had.

How much do you need?

$25.

Rerun,

Keep thinking of me
as the sister you never had

With the money
you're never gonna get.

Thanks.

Hey, shirley,

I-i've given you
a lot of tips
over the years,

How about returnin'
the favor?

Gladly. You got change
for a nickel?

Hold on, shirley.

Huh?

Now rerun needs $25

For an entrance fee
for a dance contest.

Mmm-hmm.

Which, if he wins,
he'll get

$100.

So what?

Come on, shirl,
listen to me.

Now rerun is headed
for some big things.

Yeah.

You could be
a part of that.
Yeah, I could.

Next week when he's standing
on that disco floor

And he receives a trophy,
you know what he's gonna say?

What he gonna say?

He's gonna say
to the huge crowd:
uh-huh.

"Shirley,
you had faith in me.

Mmm-hmm.

Shirley, take it,
it's yours."

[Giggles]

I am deeply touched.

You know,
america has been good to me,

And, uh, I'd like
to take this time--

Shirley.

Don't do that.
I'd like to take this time...

Do you think I should
thank my teacher?
Yeah, I should.

Oh, come on, shirley.

No, raj, man,
give it to her.

She earned it.

I thank you, dwayne,
you're a nice person.
Rob, too.

You think
I should thank my--

Shirley,
what we need is money.

Oh, no way. Sorry.

Raj, when are you
gonna learn?

You can't get somethin'
for nothin'.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Yeah, you are right.

So, we'll form a corporation.

I learned all about this
in business class.

May I have your attention,
please?

Thank you, shirley.

[Clears throat]

The bidding is now open
on shares in rerun unlimited.

Buy today and collect
your big dividends
saturday night

When he wins
the $100 dance contest.

Invest $1 now
and collect $2 on saturday.

But what
if he loses?

Loses?

[Laughs hysterically]

Are you kidding?

[Mimicking raj]

No.

He can't lose.
He's number one.

He's the greatest.

He's the muhammad ali
of disco.

♪[Humming]

Ok, rerun, on your feet.
Show the folks
what they investing in.

All right, folks, remember,

It's a good investment.
$1 Will get you $2.

♪[Music playing on jukebox]

[People whooping]

Sell it.

[Raj]
all right, rerun,
sell it now.

Sell it!

[Man #1]
all right.

[Man #2]
ok.

[Man whistling]

[All clamoring]

[Whistle blowing]

Raj, I still don't understand
how this works.

It's very simple.

Now you've collected $25

For your entrance fee
from the investors.

Now when you win the $100,

You pay those investors $50,

Or a 2 for 1 return
on their investment,

And you keep a $50 profit.

Now do you
understand that?

No.

Forget it, rerun.
Sign it.

Is this where
you're givin' away the $100?

Well, honey,
you're gonna have to win
the contest first.

Oh, he will.
He has disco in his soul.

Uh-huh, that's good,

'Cause it looks like
he's got a juke box
in his shirt.

Uh, that'd be $25, please.

Thank you.

♪[Music playing on stereo]

Ooh.

Hey.

[Sighs]

I love that.

[Panting]
so, listen, uh,
is this where I sign up?

Here, use my pen.

Sure, darling, why not?

Oh, mr. Kelly's
gonna be so excited.

He didn't expect
any real celebs

Would be
in the contest.

Well, darling, I just, like,
wanted to give the public

Another chance to see me
in the flesh,

And love me.

Who was that?

That is danny domino.

They call him
disco dynamite.

[Exclaims]

Raj. Raj. Raj!

I--i--i--i remember
this guy.

I--i don't think
I can beat him.

Come on, man,
stop thinkin' like that.

We got money
invested in you.

But that's not enough.

You just-- you saw how
classy danny looked.

Oh, he looked like
saturday night fever,

And I looked like
the monday morning blues.

I gotta get me some
fancy clothes or somethin'.

Oh, rerun.

Look, the corporation
is out of funds.

There's no money for clothes.
Now, come on, let's go.

You guys go ahead,
I'm gonna practice.

All right.
Ok.

Hey, rerun.

[Rerun]
yeah?

My friend and i,
we want a piece
of the action.

You're too late.

What do you mean?

I mean, I'm only
the president of my company,

The treasurer just left.

Come on, come on,
don't give us that.

Now we heard
you're payin' 2 for 1

And we want in.

Yeah, what's the matter?
Our money ain't good enough
for you?

Oh, yeah,
it's good enough.

As a matter of fact,
it's great.

Oh, hi, george,
and that's...

Abe, get down,
mr. Lincoln.

How--how--how many shares
you got left?

Well, how many you want?

Count me in for 20.
You're counted in.

And I'll take 30.

Right on!

And just remember,
you better win,

Or else you'll never play
the piano again.

I don't play the piano.

Don't worry,
we'll give you lessons

And then we'll break
both your hands.

♪[Music playing]

Where's rerun?

Oh, he had to
pick up charlene.

He'll be here
any minute.

He better be. I'm only here
to protect my investment.

Our investment.

I had to make excuses
for rob to let me off early.

I'll just take
a look around.

You gonna stand around here
lookin' dumb?

Well, I would ask
a girl to dance,

But I'm not sure
of my approach.

It's simple, dwayne,

All you have to do is say,
"would you like to dance?"

That's it?
"Would you like to dance?"

Love to.

Huh?

[Clears throat]
I see you're looking

For that someone special.

Perhaps I could be it.

No, we're lookin'
for rerun.

Rerun?

Yeah, we invested
$50 in him.

$50? That's impossible.

No, it isn't.

I got a receipt
and everything.

Oh, you're right.

Yeah, that reminds me,

I have to talk to rerun
right away.

Thank you.

Hey, raj, man,

Rerun sure has
a lot of fans out here.

What do you mean?

We just bumped into
some guys out here
on the dance floor

Who said they had
a big investment in him.

How much?
$50.

$50?

That means he sold
over $100 worth of himself.

If he wins a $100
he owes more than $200.

Trouble.

Hey, sugar,
what's goin' down?

Let's get it together.
Let's check out the scene.

Hey, sugar,
what's goin' down?

Let's check...
Like, hey, let's check...

Probably couldn't
dance anyhow. I knew.

Hey, sugar,
what's goin' down--

Oh, god, no!

Rob, what you
doin' here?

Well, everybody was here,
so I closed up early.

What are you doing here?

I thought you had to go home
because you had a headache.

I did? Oh, I do.

Oh, yes. Ooh, ooh.

I came here to cure it.

You came to a disco
to cure a headache?

Yeah, well,
I called my doctor,

And he told me
to take 2 dances

And call him in the morning.

Hey, what are we waitin' for?
Let's get down.

Yeah, let's get on down.

Hi, charlene.

Rerun,
I've gotta talk to you.

Not now, raj,
I gotta get dressed
for the competition.

No, this is important
and it's private.

Excuse me, charlene.

Uh, I

Just ran into 2 girls

Who said
they invested $50 in you.

Oh, yeah, carla and jan
from the supermarket.

And dwayne ran
into some guys

Who said
they invested $50 in you.

What can I say?

They can't get enough
of a good thing.

Rerun, you sold more
of yourself than you have.

No, I didn't, raj,
I have more of me to sell.

I gained weight yesterday.

Rerun.

Look, raj,

Something came up
and I had to get
some new clothes

And some new shoes.

For once in my life
I wanna look good.

I wanna look like somebody
and I wanna be somebody.

All right.

Who are they?

Those are my investors.

Rerun, if you win
and you can't pay everybody,

Those guys
are gonna jump on you.

Well, what am I gonna do?

I'll handle it.

Dwayne.

See those 2 mean-looking
dudes over there.

Ooh, oh, yeah.

Get rid of 'em.

Dwayne, are you-- you're
rerun's friend, aren't you?

Uh-huh.

You do wanna help out,
don't you?
Uh-huh.

You do wanna be
a pal, don't you?
Uh-huh.

Get rid of those guys.

Uh-uh.

Rerun, if you win
and you can't pay everybody,

You're gonna be
in serious trouble.

You've got to lose.

If you lose,
you owe nobody.

All right,
how's everybody doin'?

[All clapping]

You know
who want to know?

The spoon wanna know
how's everybody doin'.

[Audience clapping]

All right, the moment's here

We've been waiting for,
all right!

Raj, I gotta get dressed.

Ok, I'll see you later.

Our first annual
disco dance contest.

First prize,
$100 to the winner.

[Audience cheering]

Let's welcome
our first contestant,

Disco dynamite himself,
danny domino!

[All cheering]

♪[Music playing]

[Exclaims]

[Whooping]

Come on, baby!

Freestyle!
Freestyle!

[All cheering]

[Woman]
yeah!

Turn it on!

♪[Music stops]

[All cheering]

[M.c.]
All right, let's hear it
for disco dynamite,

Everybody let's hear it.
Come on.

All right. You know,
we first had scheduled
10 contestants

For our first
disco dance contest.

But when they found out
that disco dynamite himself,

Danny domino,
was gonna be in it,

All of them just
backed right on out.

[All whooping]

Enough, love. Enough, love.
Enough. Enough.

All right.
All of them backed out

Except one daring
great dancer himself.

And I wanna bring him out.

Contestant number 2,
let's welcome

Frederick rerun stubbs!

[All cheering]

♪[Music playing]

Let's get everybody up.

Whoo!

Whoo!

[Exclaiming]

[All cheering]

Yeah!

[People whooping]

[Man]
all right.

Yeah, all right.

[All applauding]

Rerun, rerun,
what happened?

You were supposed
to hold back.

I guess I got
carried away, raj.

Our judges have
reached a decision.

And the winner...

I just can't believe it.

Look, rerun,
everybody loses.

Napoleon had
his waterloo,

Muhammad ali
had his spinks,

And you had
your danny domino.

And like I said,
if you had won that contest,

You would've been
in big trouble
with your investors.

That's right.

'Cause I know one investor
who would've gotten your hide.

Rerun, losing
was the best thing

That ever happened
to you, buddy.

I guess you're right, shirley.

I shouldn't really be so down.

Nah.

Oh, yes, you should.

What's happenin', rerun?

Hey, guys,
how's it goin'?

You know,
I'm sorry I lost.

But I did
the best I could.

Yeah, we know,
but it wasn't good enough.

Well, you guys just gotta
do me one favor.

A favor?

You're askin' us
for a favor?

Yeah. Let me pick which part
of my body you break.

Now what kind of talk
is that, rerun?

What say we go
for a little walk?

Ok. But I warn you guys,
I'm a purple belt.

Do something, raj.

Hey!

Listen, do you guys think

I'm gonna stand by

And let you bust up my buddy?

Hmm?

I think I'll sit instead.

Thanks, raj.

Good move.

Hey.

Now there's nothin'
for anybody to fret about.

We just wanna talk to rerun.

We're gonna make him
an offer he can't refuse.

You are?

Look, rerun,
we don't believe in violence.

Yeah. Unless we don't
get our way.

Then we believe.

Amen.

Now we're willin'
to forget about
the money we lost on you.

You are?

Sure.

You know, with so many
dance contests these days,

We could make
the money ourselves.

That's a good idea.

Except for one thing.

Well, what's that?

We can't dance.

That's where you come in.

You're gonna give us

And our club members
dance lessons.

And our girlfriends
get dance lessons, too.

Come on, guys,
that's impossible.

Just what do you
expect me to do?

Hit it, raj!

♪[Music playing on jukebox]

[Exclaims]

Excuse me.

1, 2, 3, Step.
1, 2, 3, Step.

1, 2, 3, Step.
1, 2, 3--

[Yelling]

Oh, my foot!

Ok, girls,
that's enough for today.
I'll see you next tuesday.

Ok, catch you later, rerun.
Bye-bye.

Catch you later.

Ah, rerun, man,
how's it goin'?

At this rate,
givin' these free lessons
to pay back what I owe,

I won't be out of debt
until 1989.

Yeah, you know, rerun,

Dwayne and I
have been talking.

And I guess
we should remind you

That we invested
money in you, too.

Oh, come on, guys,
what do you expect me to do?

Well...

Kick.

Kick.

Kick.