(mellow instrumental music)
[Jesse] My name is Jesse Cruz,
but my official
designation is CZ-01.
Wolf, regarding the new
state amendment, CZ-517,
how do you think the
local infected population
will appeal to it?
[Wolf] You know, Marissa,
I'm not sure, yeah.
In fives minutes,
turn to channel three.
[Wolf] It appears the
leaders of the CZ community
realize there need
to be a formal order,
otherwise chaos will ensue.
[Jesse] Two years ago,
a biological outbreak
struck my town of South
Grove, California.
I'm craving something
tasty tonight.
[Jesse] The infected went crazy.
The hunt has begun, my son.
[Jesse] Attacking
anything that moved.
In the past week,
random street attacks
have plummeted.
In this new era of coexisting,
it appears our leaders just
may have found a solution.
Mom, mom, mom.
No, what are you doing? What
are you doing? It stopped.
This is Sheriff Munoz's
earlier press conference
just hours ago, reminding
law abiding citizens
to stay indoors and safe.
I'm very proud of the CZ-517.
I'll be out with
my zombie-in-arms
making sure that all
kills are clean and legal.
Stay inside your preordained
residential properties
or inside one of the
government safety buildings.
You'll be safe there.
Good thing the studio's a
government safety building.
We registered it, right?
Yes.
Yes we did. Yes, we did.
[Jesse] It was quickly
and viciously discovered
that the only thing that could
calm them down was blood.
- He registered it right?
- Oh, I did register it.
[Jesse] And for many of
them, only human blood.
This one's gonna be easy.
[Jesse] Fresh human blood.
You have 30 seconds.
[Jesse] Hunters wait
every Saturday night
for the clock to strike
10:00 for a local ordinance.
You have 15 seconds.
Ten,
nine,
eight,
seven,
six, (door slamming)
five, - Move!
(tires screeching)
- [Marissa] Four,
three. (car door shutting)
[Jesse] We call them
the hunting hours,
a two hour free-for-all
on the streets of
Southern California.
What's up bussin'?
Because I got baggy pants
and all my black asos
[Jesse] And it's all my fault.
Buenos noches!
(shotgun firing)
(zombie grunting)
No bueno! (zombies laughing)
Take two steps to the right
and you say "What's up?"
Stumble out to the left
'cause you feeling drunk
Take it down to the
floor with your elbows up
Hey, Canard.
I left you something
fresh inside.
Yes, yes. Good night.
Papi!
(suspenseful music)
(zombie growling)
(woman screaming)
Forgive me, Father,
for I have sinned,
and well, this will
be my last confession.
Our sins are judged and
forgiven by the higher power.
I don't think the
Lord will judge me
very lightly on this one.
That's for the Lord
to decide, isn't it?
Yeah.
Why have you brought alcohol
into my confessional?
It's part of the story.
Continue.
[Jesse] I live just
outside of the town.
I was coming home from
work at Cholo's Cervesa.
It was my sister's birthday
and I was running late, so I
decided to take a shortcut.
(traffic passing)
Hey, stopped that car, Carnales.
I want the money now.
Hold on a second. Hold on!
Hey, hey, hey!
What's going on? Is
everything all right?
No, it's not. Who are you?
He lives here.
Jesse (speaking Spanish).
I can't, mom.
(speaking Spanish) -
Yeah, I know, but it,
it's just, I got robbed today,
it's 'cause I took a shortcut
and then I went through Alvers.
It was the wrong neighborhood
and the wrong day
to take a shortcut.
(fist hitting flesh)
- How much do they owe you?
- What'd you say?
- How much do they owe you?
- $650.
I got some landscaping work.
- Oh.
- Can you take care of that?
I'll cover you guys. Deal?
Yeah, yes sir. Of course.
Fine. It's your money.
Free country, right?
Come over and I'll
cut you a check.
Be at my place first
thing in the morning.
I'll show you what you do.
Okay. Thank you, sir.
What's your problem, man?
What's your problem? Why
you kick them out of here?
- Hey, Jesse! - Hey baby sis!
Happy birthday!
- Yo, where you been?
- I got held up.
Whatever.
Monstro's having
a party. Let's go.
What, no. It's my
sister's birthday.
How am I gonna leave my sister?
And plus, I gotta do
something for the Sheriff.
Lame.
Not even for your
sister's birthday?
Come on, let's go.
So once you get this
all cleared out,
then I'll be able to think
about laying a foundation.
Understand?
Yes sir.
Well, I'll be back at
the end of the day.
I expect you to
have this finished.
I will. And thank you, sir.
I really do appreciate you
helping me out with this,
and I'm gonna pay you back.
Let's do a good job.
A hard day's work is more
important than people think.
Will do.
All righty.
Oh, make sure you
get the tree in.
Okay
(metal clanking) (Jesse
blowing raspberries)
Man, where to start?
(upbeat music)
The Sheriff was a good man.
The work was pretty simple.
He was clearing space
to build a guest house.
The last thing he
needed me to do
was clear the big apple tree
in the middle of the yard.
About a foot down, I hit a box.
(g*n firing)
(upbeat music)
If only she hadn't shown up.
Yo loser. You done yet?
Not quite.
I still gotta clean
all this stuff up.
I heard you got jumped
by Monstro's crew.
Yeah.
Can you get my money back?
Nah man, you're the fool
that went through their turf.
Why do you even like those guys?
Why do you hang out with them?
He's my cousin, that's
a powerful thing.
Plus, he's cool.
I guess. (metal clanking)
(suspenseful music)
What is this?
(spirits gasping)
Hey Dana, what are you doing?
Don't touch. That's
the sheriff's!
(Dana squealing)
(Jesse grunting) - Ah, Dana!
(suspenseful music)
God, please forgive me.
I'm gonna commit this sin,
but she stressed out my life.
And I also
I thought (blood splattering)
you (blood splattering)
were (blood splattering)
the one! (blood splattering)
I wish I can say the
story ended there.
(suspenseful music)
- Where's Dana? - I dumped her.
I'm glad, 'cause
she's a bad apple.
You did a real good job, Jesse.
Alright, I think
we're done out here.
Why don't you guys get
in out of the heat?
Let's go mom. Thanks Sheriff.
Thank you.
[Jesse] I didn't
know what it was,
but I knew it was something,
and I had an
obsession to find out.
Inez Beats on the track
Research on 137 Mayanton Avenue.
[Computer] There is nothing
on 137 Mayanton Avenue.
Ah!
(suspenseful tones)
(spirits gasping)
(suspenseful tones)
(traffic passing)
(phone alarm ringing)
Hey! You're Jesse Cruz, yanno?
Uh, yeah. Hey.
Where's my prima at, ese?
Uh, she uh, um.
Relax.
I'm just messing with you.
That'll be $5.00.
I got this.
She said I should pay
you back a little.
You haven't seen
her at all have you?
No.
She said she was
heading out of town.
Have you seen her?
No, no yeah, that's,
that's what she had
actually told me, too.
(bags crinkling)
Thanks.
Hey! You didn't pay for that.
Oh yeah?
Yeah. You didn't pay for it.
Empty your drawer, right now.
Bria!
Thank you.
Have a nice day.
Marcos.
Anthony.
It's one store.
Don't make me tell you again.
(suspenseful music)
- You all right? - Yes, sir.
[Clerk] Gracias, Father.
[Priest] My pleasure.
What's at 137 Mayanton?
Uh, sir?
You need to come with me.
Look, look, I didn't
mean to, okay?
She wasn't human anymore,
and her eyes, they rolled
to the back of her head
and she started bleeding,
and she's looked at
me like that before.
She's told me I'm
very handsome before,
but she was looking at
me like really like she.
Just let me see it.
(suspenseful music)
That's black magic, son.
That's behind God's back.
- What is it? - It's Satan.
Well, at least related
to the dark angel.
Let me tell you a story.
There was a physician that used
to own a mortuary up on a hill.
Well, one day, while
wandering in the hills.
I'm gonna get you an
ice cold sarsaparilla.
Yeah, only eight
more hills that way
and I'm going to get you a girl!
[Priest] His assistant
dropped down dead.
Come on! Don't clown around!
I'll get you two sarsaparillas!
Come on, quit playing.
It's.
No!
No!
Don't do this,
because I'm not gonna
give you mouth-to-mouth.
Come on!
God!
[Priest] He stayed
by his body for days
waiting for an answer.
He was the best
assistant I ever had.
I'm sending you this
white privilege pigeon
so you'll know that
I'm, I'm serious.
Please God, he was the
cheapest worker I could find.
Who am I gonna find
someone that will work
for a dollar a day?
Pigeon, if you go see God,
will you tell him that
I never ask him for much,
except for that time
I asked him to take care of
my ex-old lady in a bad way,
But forgive me, if you talk
to God, let him know that
I'm so sorry and to please
bring my friend back.
He doesn't have a
high school education
and he was the dumbest
guy in the whole class,
but he had a heart of gold.
Will you tell him that?
Can you remember that?
I'm serious!
God's this way!
You're the!
Where did he go?
What?
[Priest] Before it was finally
time to lay him to rest.
Amen.
(doctor stomping)
Hey, how about
anybody down there?
Can you hear me?
(demon yawning loudly)
[Devil] Who awakens my slumber?
Ah, the name's not important.
Listen, do you have the power
to bring my friend back?
[Devil] Well, yes,
but he's dead.
He will be diseased,
and the only thing that'll
sustain him is human flesh.
Well, the diseased part,
pew, you ought to
smell his socks!
The human flesh part, I don't
think it'll be a problem.
Bring it on.
Wait, wait. What's the catch?
[Devil] The catch is
he'll live forever.
That's a catch? Yeah, all right.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Taxes are going up, so.
Okay, okay. Sounds good.
Bring it! - [Devil] Here.
(electric surging tones)
(electric surging tones)
Ah, it's hot!
[Devil] It's supposed to
be hot, it's from hell.
- Oh, what's in here?
- [Devil] Oh if only you knew.
Open this beneath his nose,
but anyone who breathes
this in will live forever.
Yeah. What's the downside?
[Devil] Living forever.
I got it for you.
Take a big breath, vato.
(spirits gasping)
(zombie grunting)
It worked!
[Priest] But the price
was blood, innocent.
Now, we'll live
forever together, aye?
It said the box disappeared
and the doctor and his
assistant were never seen again.
Hey, did you open that box?
No, no, no. Of course not.
Yeah, no.
Good.
Well, get this thing outta here,
and I want you to bury it,
bury it as deep as you can.
Yeah. Thank you, Father.
(suspenseful music)
I know I shoulda listened,
but it made me feel powerful.
(suspenseful music)
I got it bro. See you tomorrow.
- Okay bro. - All right.
Thanks, brother.
(suspenseful music)
What you doing there, Jesse?
- What's up Monstro?
- What's good, Carnad?
Nothing much, just
trying to get home.
That's what's up.
(Jesse grunting)
Damn Jesse, why you always
tripping like that, bro?
Relax, Carnad.
We'll just playing, ese.
(man chuckling)
- What's up homies?
- What's up homie?
How you guys doing? Endo.
How you doing youngster?
Hey, you chillin' with Jesse?
I'm gonna get him back.
You gonna be ready
to spit tonight?
You best be. Tiendes?
Tiendeo.
All right, Endo. Honestly bro.
Don't go soft on us again.
Come on.
We'll get you guys the usual.
Make 'em cold, G. Make em cold.
That's right.
(suspenseful tones)
[Jesse] I really didn't
know what it would do,
but they were the type of fools
that just needed
to get dealt with.
(suspenseful tones)
(spirits gasping)
What's up guys? How's it goin'?
What up, homie?
b*tch, how you doin'?
You know I got you. I got you.
You know I'm down to ride
And I will
You always on my mind
To you, I'm too
Daddy can I hide?
That's what we do
Yeah, that's what we do
Yeah
You say you down to ride
Well you gonna
have to show me
I'm gonna take you real high
Getting faded off the OG
Keep the stack
What I'm saying's
keep it low key
I got a lot of haters
And they acting
like they know me
Baby, I'm gonna
keep it solid
Never switching sides
For you, I'll keep it real
Staying always your side
I'mma always hold it down
Even when you not around
I got no time
for these clowns
Is what I'm saying now
I see them lightning
when they switching up.
I see through you if
you fake the funk.
Nothing to prove my flow
My flow is smooth
Hey fool, this song is boo!
(traffic passing)
Yo, what's up with
that silly a*s
white boy at our party, homes?
He tries, ese.
He's got no rhythm.
Hey white boy!
What you doing at
our party, fool?
White boy?
Should I call you "brown boy?"
- What the? - Shut up.
He's like a little
brother, homie.
His name is Darb. Don't
call him white boy.
He don't like that. - Darb?
What the hell type
of name is Darb, dog?
He's dyslexic, bro.
His real name's Brad,
but we've been calling him
Darb since he was little.
Hey, white boy!
Shouldn't you be some
white boy event, homie,
sippin' champagne, fool?
Hey idiot, I live next door.
Idiot?
Homie. - Hey, no, no!
That's enough!
This is my carnasca marada,
since they were chavalitos.
He even married a Latina.
He lives in the neighborhood.
He speaks more Spanish than you.
This fool?
He's more Mexican
than you are, ese.
Nah homie.
No white privilege here, genius.
I say if anybody got the
better end of the deal,
its you brown brothers.
You know, I didn't have
carnitas until I was in my 20's.
That's a damn shame.
(energetic tones)
(traffic passing)
(zombie panting)
(suspenseful music)
- What the f*ck?
(door squeaking)
(suspenseful music)
(Monstro groaning and panting)
(dynamic tones)
Breakfast?
- Yo, what's up bro?
- [Server] What up man?
Hey bro, no over here,
and a quick question,
have you talked to Endo at all?
Nah man, but I heard
he got sick though man.
Well.
(car engine revving)
(rap music) (car engine revving)
And then the homie
was saying that,
that he was performing
in downtown.
Hey man. Well good for him bro.
He's was always getting
all over himself.
Dude! Check that out, man!
[Jesse] When suddenly,
the story broke.
[Newscaster] Breaking
news, a deadly epidemic
is spreading across
Southern California,
and it appears to be a
new form of bio-terrorism.
This is your official warning.
Do not drink this product.
(suspenseful tones)
(banging on door)
(suspenseful tones)
(banging on door)
(zombie groaning)
We now have an important update
on what is being coined as
"The Cholo Zombie Virus."
Let's send it to Marissa
Mes in the field.
I'm Marissa Mes reporting
from South Grove Medical
as doctors work
fervently to figure out
what this biohazard is
and just who or what
the infected really are.
[Jesse] The beer had been
completely distributed
to small liquor stores
in Southern California.
The epicenter had
been South Grove.
Over the next few months,
the epidemic spread until
there was 10,000 infected,
and 99% self-inflicted.
Hi
Why do you guys have
tacos la lingua?
Is that like cow
tongue or human tongue?
It's the law.
And some people did
it just to change.
Vampire blood?
Do you guys have french fries?
Some said it was
the ultimate fashion
or cultural statement.
Do you have ketchup?
Blood.
Thank you.
(upbeat music)
Society had to figure out
how to deal with them.
- Hey. - Table.
- This is.
- What's going on, ladies?
We don't wanna wait on them.
- It's her turn. - Why?
Because they're Cholo zombies?
Well, because they don't tip.
Oh yeah.
This looks so good!
- It looks really good.
- Oh yeah,
put salt all over it.
I'm gonna have my own. I
have my own food over here.
I don't need any more of that.
Can I get you gentlemen
anything else?
I don't think we see eye to eye.
They got really good
brains here, man.
You guys got really
good brains, right?
Get us some brain!
(upbeat music)
[Jesse] Some people did
it for no other reason
than they couldn't
afford healthcare.
Without a heartbeat, no
pulse, but still alive,
they didn't need medicine.
(lawn mower motor running)
And there was always plenty
of one thing they needed
to survive, human meat.
Pretty quickly, society
had to figure out
how to deal with them.
Hey, I don't know man.
This homie getting
under my skin.
Hey, hey, white zombie!
Come on, get your
chones in the car!
I'm sorry. Look what I made.
Yeah, yeah, you made
that. Okay, fine.
Get in the car! Get in the car!
Hey, what's up Puff?
Hey, Puff. Come on fool.
- Get in there! - I'll get it.
Yeah, he made it. Oh Jesus.
Come on, come on. Let's go!
We're not getting
any younger here.
Oh!
Move the car!
(car engine igniting)
Hey!
Do you wanna come
to our pool party?
We're having a pool party!
Hey hey baby!
Give me some blood, man!
Come on! Pool party!
Hey, let's go! All right!
(upbeat music)
Party's here!
(upbeat music)
Are you ready to party, dog?
He's ready to party!
(water splashing) (upbeat music)
[Darb] Hey, what's up guys?
This is the party I
was talkin' about!
Hey!
(upbeat music)
Dinner is served.
Hey man, they're the
only ones that showed up.
It wouldn't be fair.
Yeah, and besides, I mean look,
if we take these guys out,
I can guarantee you
we're not gonna have
any visitors anytime soon.
Yeah, but if they're brothers,
the family could spare one.
So what you're saying is, as
long as we don't k*ll him?
Yeah. That we could eat them.
What the?
(suspenseful music)
I'm really hungry. Do you mind?
I don't mind.
Go for it! It's good!
You want some?
Listen to me, man.
You can't keep putting,
keep putting money into
football and baseball.
Those are not
zombie sports, man.
What we need is a
good soccer team.
Now, soccer. That's good.
That's good for zombies man.
You know? - That's a good sport.
But what about a hot
dog eating sport?
Hot dog eating sport?
What are you talking about man?
No, no, a zombie sport.
I'm talking about a
professional town.
A good zombie sport
is roller derby.
- Roller derby? - Roller derby.
- Wrestling. - What?
Wrestle Mania.
You can't have no
Wrestle Mania, man.
You pull on the arm
one time, it falls off.
What is that?
How about death ball?
What about
synchronized swimming?
Hey, come on, come on, come on!
You're either in or you're out.
We playing cards or
what are we doing here?
Man, I don't got
no failure homie.
Take it out in trade, homes.
Rings included.
You ever hear of
deodorant, vato?
I use Tommy spray, homie.
But you gotta use
it for it to work.
Whatever.
Yeah, but it's a solid
way to stay single.
You gotta respect that.
- All right.
- All right, come on, come on.
Gimme some good cards this time.
Que pasa?
Don't look at me, little puppet.
Come on bro. Put that away.
You know it freaks
the homie out.
Don't look at me.
(upbeat music)
You are a real Cholo zombie.
You're a real.
Oh dang it, I
messed it up again.
Ah! You're a real Cholo zombie.
I got makeup on my shirt!
Ma, I'm gonna need
another white shirt!
In our weekly Cholo
zombie report,
crime statistics against
the Cholo zombies
has increased dramatically.
In order to combat these crimes,
the governor has signed a bill
protecting the Cholo zombies
from any type of
discrimination whatsoever.
Folks, there will
be zombies next
to us in all walks of our lives,
the airport, schools,
at the market.
Businesses will be required
to carry special products
for the Cholo zombies...
Be warned.
They don't eat like us.
Because of these
new requirements,
there'll be new
industries established
and we must learn to accept it.
This is Wolf Cooper, WTF
Channel 11, signing out.
They can't eat me
until 10:00 PM, right?
You're sure?
Okay.
All right, bye.
Like I said, Vita Cholo
is made specifically
for the needs of Cholo zombies.
Become a gold sponsor
and become a millionaire.
How much do you weigh, ese?
What do you say?
Would you lovely businessmen,
business zombies,
be interested in
investing today?
Do you eat a lot of spicy food?
Just one, one of these pills
will give you energy
for the entire weekend.
Yeah, but does it work?
Yeah, that's the risk, Carnad.
There's only one
way to find out.
(suspenseful music)
(pills jingling)
(head exploding)
(liquid gurgling)
(suspenseful music)
(upbeat music)
I guess even zombies
gotta work, man.
I gotta do some overtime.
I get it man.
What you're going through, man.
Everybody judges you.
You know, I know,
I know you got Gatorades
and and all that, man,
but you know what?
I love being a good Cholo, man,
especially a zombie
Cholo, and you know,
I'mma tell you why,
because I got a job.
I get to kick it with you guys.
I get to, you know, chill
with other homies, you know?
So don't feel bad homie
'cause you're locked up, man,
'cause I was there one
time, and you know what?
Maybe when you get out,
I'll get you a job
here with me, man.
You know, you sweep or
mop or something, man.
You know, don't
trip. I got you, man,
when you get out, you
know, so, so cheers, homie.
You can be a zombie, too.
You can be a zombie,
too. (man laughing)
Hey homie! What's up?
It's time to party, homie!
(zombies yelling)
Hey, you started the
party without us, homie!
What's up with that?
(upbeat music)
Oh lookie! You
turned into a homie.
Oh, she's so cute. Look at her.
Hey homie, can you
say "Cholo cervesa?"
Dude, there's a
huge snake on you.
- Oh man, I thought it was a.
- [Speaker] Hey, Wato.
He's looking froggy.
Hey, Wato. - [Speaker 2] Hey
that's Toto.
I mean, Toto?
[Speaker] Where are you going?
We have conducted numerous tests
and we've discovered
that sh**ting a CZ
doesn't incapacitate
them in the least.
We are indeed making steps
to treat all people equally.
Graduating from the
police academy today,
the first ever Cholo zombie
in the department's history.
I'm here with community
liaison, Mr. Vin Monstro.
Do you have any comment for us?
(speaking Spanish)
I'm hungry.
Hungry for justice!
What does work?
Figured you'd ask that.
That's why I tried to burn one.
Zombies don't melt.
(g*n firing)
(zombie chuckling)
(Sheriff chuckling)
You gotta cut off their head!
(Sheriff chuckling)
(blood splattering)
[Jesse] But regardless,
the infection grew.
Hi!
Hey, we're all out already.
Every single one.
Oh no, I don't wanna be one.
Oh, Marissa Mes, right?
From the TV show?
News reporter.
Is your manager
here by any chance?
I'd love to get his take on
everything that's
happening right now.
Yeah, he's actually
not around right now.
Do you know anything?
I mean, beer, right,
it just doesn't turn
people into zombies.
Yeah. No, I don't, sorry.
If you think of
anything, call me.
Here's my number.
I'll put you on TV.
Yeah. Thank you.
(mellow music)
We are live inside CZ Bio,
a part of a new cottage
industry of bioengineering.
Yes, yes. Thank you.
Here at CZ Bio, we strive
for something greater
for the future from our
infected patients here.
And a billion dollar industry?
Yes, yes. That is true, yes.
What we believe is that their
ZNA has a third chromosome,
the Z chromosome, which, with
its anti-aging properties,
it has applications
for military,
beauty, and medical fields.
Now, currently, a
pint of CZ blood
is going for $5,000
on the open market.
Yes, yes. That is also true,
but what we don't
know is the effects
of zombie-to-human
blood transfusion,
so, with the uninfected
as ourselves,
we must be extra cautious
around open blood.
Let's go see what our
research team is doing.
- Let's see. - Right this way.
Over here, our dentist
team is researching
the various effects of
blood-based hygiene products
to slow down the deterioration
of the zombification process.
(suspenseful tones)
(zombie gagging)
(g*n firing) (blood splattering)
(mellow music)
I am Marissa Mes, signing out.
Ricky!
Officer Jones from narcotics.
He'll be helping us out.
Officer Jones,
where the weed at?
Rasta man.
I'll tell you once
you brush your teeth.
Better yet, you need a mint.
That's enough.
Get to work.
- Nice to meet you, huevo.
Likewise.
(suspenseful music)
- [Sheriff] Mayor. - Sheriff.
So you're the living legend.
I'm living. (suspenseful music)
(metal doors closing)
These are difficult times,
and the attorneys here
for the Cholo zombies,
they have a long wait list.
It seems that most of the people
you try to arrest end up dead.
First of all, I'm
not arresting people,
I'm arresting zombies,
and they're already dead.
So many of them
come up separated,
if you know what I mean.
Well, they're m*rder
suspects, Mayor.
I do what I need to do.
Do you have the proof?
Well, that might
be pretty difficult
since there's no
DNA to reference.
Hmm.
Tell him.
These are difficult times.
Now any day now, the Supreme
Court is gonna overturn
all the m*rder charges
involving the Cholo zombies.
Can't we all just get along?
Sounds like a new revenue
stream for you, Mayor.
Well.
Hey, I just make
sure that I schedule
my meetings with
them after lunch.
What's up zombie vatos?
You know, you ate a guy
for having a warrant.
You think you guys can
control yourselves?
Endo, do your thing.
Hunger pains homie.
(fart sounds)
Oh man!
That smells like
a dead rat, homie.
Horrible. Press play on that.
I ain't gonna press play.
You press play, man.
I'm a Cholo, I'm
a Cholo, yeah
I just want to dance,
it's my Cholo dance
Take two steps to the right
and you say "What's up?"
Stumble out to the left
'cause you feeling drunk
Take it down to the
floor with your elbows up
Move side to side
as you comin' up
Hey, I'm a Cholo, I'm a
Cholo, I'm a Cholo, yeah
I'm a Cholo, I'm a
Cholo, I'm a Cholo, yeah
[Jesse] At first, no one
knew what was happening.
People were going
missing though,
and at a rate no one understood.
I just spoke with the mayor
about the family that
disappeared off Fifth Street.
It seems that some of
you were seen in the area
the night they disappeared.
I crave human flesh
just as you do,
but until our hearing,
that stops tonight.
Come, come.
Now, for the good news.
If you cannot
suppress the desire to feed,
then feed on a transient.
Yo, follow me. I'll
give you five bucks.
Maybe two!
Now feed!
Go feed!
Feed!
(train horn blaring)
[Jesse] It only
took three months
before the government
was on board.
Suddenly, the
streets were cleaner,
the crime went down,
and there was an un-imposed
curfew across the town.
(upbeat music)
(Sheriff whistling)
(Sheriff grunting)
(Sheriff screaming)
(upbeat music)
Oh my God!
Luis, look! Hey Lou!
Huge fan, man! A huge fan!
No jokes if you don't
pay that back up.
Hey, what do you
think you're doing?
It's a repossession.
You didn't make
your car payments.
You can't do this! I
don't have time for this.
I gotta go to work!
- Zoom in. - Oh, perfect Lou.
Thanks man.
You're the best man!
You're the best!
Oh my God!
- [Jesse] But as they say.
- [Speaker] Awesome!
[Jesse] The show must
go on, and so it did.
Officer, I do not understand
the words coming out
of this zombie's mouth.
He k*lled and ate an elderly
couple on their evening walk.
Get me a confession.
(speaking foreign language)
(speaking foreign language)
That's right. I did it.
(door closing)
- So why'd he do it?
- He said he was hungry, ese.
Officer!
I am an attorney.
I'm here to represent
these Cholo zombies.
Man, you really should have
went to a better law school.
Look, Darb doesn't
even belong here.
He is not a real Cholo zombie.
- I am a real zombie.
- He's just pretending.
He puts that makeup on himself.
I'm a real zombie.
Look at his teeth.
He hasn't brushed in a while.
I'm a real Cholo zombie!
Alright, Cholo zombie.
I got these eyeballs
from another zombie.
Eat up!
Do it, ese.
(upbeat music)
(Darb puking)
Hey, I am a Cholo zombie!
(Darb puking)
Cholo Pizza. Can
I help you, ese?
Hey, we're out of mushrooms.
Use to sliced earlobes, homes.
That's what I do.
Well, you want the chicas
or you want the hombres?
(speaking Spanish)
Half toes, half
pineapple? You got it sir.
Give us about 30 minutes.
All right.
I got you fool.
(upbeat music)
About time.
No frontal lobe?
No medulla?
Sorry.
So how you liking zombie life?
It's awesome!
He's trying to win
student president
on a "Brains for All" campaign.
I have a dream that one
day on the sunny slopes
of South Grove Middle, all
children will go to a school
where they'll not be judged
by the quality of their skin,
but by the content
of their brains,
and so I say "Brains for All!"
Yeah! (group applauding)
Where'd you pull this off from?
Let's just say
someone down at the
juvenile detention
center owed me a favor.
Doesn't it smell stinky?
She's gonna be tasty!
Everyone, dig in.
(silverware clanking)
(woman moaning)
(mellow music)
I told you man.
(zombie whistling)
Anybody want some
vegan munchies?
- I'm gonna say no.
- Darb wants some.
No, I just ate, remember?
I just ate fool, thanks.
You're never hungry.
(wolf howling)
Cholo zombies? What
makes you all scared?
They don't have a heartbeat.
I mean, you and I both know
that most men don't, right?
So what's the big deal?
And they've k*lled a few people?
So have I.
And they crave human
meat? Who doesn't?
Let's welcome our
next guest, Steve.
(audience applauding)
So Steve, tell me,
you've turned recently,
what's your favorite part
about being a zombie?
Well, first of all,
everything tastes
better with hot sauce,
but you know what?
Enough about me,
let's talk about you.
You ain't gonna get a
man looking like that.
[Audience] Ooh!
Am I right?
[Audience] Ahh!
(host chuckling)
Oops, looks like there's
a TV malfunction.
We'll be right back.
Come on, bro.
No, no. (zombie passing gas)
No, I don't want any.
(zombie passing gas)
Yeah, take that to
this bathroom, bro.
Get outta here.
Oh my gosh.
That's that Cholo right there.
Man, I'm glad I
ate from the leg.
Make sure you
courtesy flush that.
(upbeat music)
There it goes. Old bubble guts.
The thing mad at me.
I didn't eat that leg.
(zombie passing gas)
You ate too much
of that stuff, huh?
(zombie passing gas) - Oh man.
(zombie passing gas)
- Oh my god, man.
- Get out of here!
Get outta here!
Both of you?
Yeah, get in the
shower with that.
You guys take a shower together.
That's disgusting.
You guys always
think I'm joking.
That's why I tell you, man,
don't even know, don't
even know vegans, bro.
They'll give you gas
every single time.
I guarantee.
How do we know they're vegan?
Usually, they're like pale,
pasty, white like a monk.
No offense.
They smell like fresh cut grass.
The best way to tell is
when they go shopping,
they use reusable bags.
- That's true.
- You writing that down?
Yeah. Say it one more time,
I'm sorry.
(audience applauding)
Now boys, never ever tell
a girl how to get a man.
He's right though,
everything does taste
better with hot sauce.
Oh, there she is!
(audience applauding
and cheering)
(speaking Spanish)
It's your hostess with the
mostess, La LorettaVampz!
(audience whistling
and applauding)
We are at our meet and
greet. Our guest of the day,
El Monstro!
Yeah, yeah! I'm
going, I'm going!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
(audience cheering
and applauding)
Come on down and get
a taste of this vato.
[Audience] Ooh!
So you see, what
we's got going on
is we have two situations here.
Yeah, yeah. Two.
- What's the first one? - This.
(LorettaVampz screaming)
(audience applauding
and cheering)
Cut! Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut!
Oh! What?
Monstro, we told you
not to eat the host.
Oh, uh. My bad!
(zombie growling)
(audience screaming)
It's ridiculous, we got a
crowd of people out here today,
and you're, I don't know
what to do with him.
[Monstro] Hey!
[Director] Monstro,
what are you doing?
[Monstro] Brains!
I told you! I told you!
That looks good,
huh? That looks good.
Yeah, looks good fool. Yeah.
Pull out here. This is the,
there's a whole, Monstro,
this is, what is this?
Who's gonna host this thing now?
You can't just go eat
everybody that we meet.
There's a, oh what?
What the? What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, - No.
Green light.
Ah, well let me see.
Ah, well green is
my favorite color.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Yes, yes, yes, yes!
(knife stabbing flesh)
(director groaning)
(blood splattering)
(knife stabbing flesh)
(audience screaming)
(knife stabbing flesh)
Mr. Camera Man.
(camera man yelling)
(Monstro sighing)
Yeah, yeah!
We wanna invite everybody
down, yeah, yeah!
Come on down and
meet me and Vamps
at our first annual
meet and greet!
It's an event you
won't wanna miss!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
- La Familia.
Pro vida, Vampz! Pro vida!
- Pro vida!
- We'll be seeing you soon.
Yeah, yeah!
(upbeat music) -
[Jesse] After a while,
they had to get more
clever with their hunting.
Hey wait.
You haven't been on a
date in a long time, fool.
Let me make sure
everything's lined up.
Wait, I haven't been on a
date in a long time either.
Do I look good, fool?
All right, it's cool if I do
this whole third
wheel thing right?
Relax, relax.
We're just going to the movies
and then we're
gonna grab a bite.
Olive Garden, fool.
Where are we going fool?
Don't worry. It's a surprise.
Hey fool. (zombie growling)
[Jesse] Every Saturday,
we were on edge.
You never showed me my dream.
It's nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too.
(speaking Spanish)
Mom, but we're just
going to the movies.
No, you're not,
especially with this dude.
What's your problem?
Yeah, bro. What
you got against me?
I got nothing against you, bro,
except the way you look.
Don't worry. She's with me,
and we're just
going to the movies.
I think we're going
to Olive Garden, too.
Thank you for the tea.
Thank you again.
Mom, you're just gonna
let them leave dude?
It's almost 10 o'clock.
I should never have
let them leave,
not on a hunting night.
(suspenseful music)
Is that Monstro's truck?
(zombie chuckling)
(suspenseful music)
(suspenseful music)
(Anna screaming)
(suspenseful music)
Where's Anna?
Home! (zombies chuckling)
That's my sister!
(zombies chuckling)
(Jesse grunting)
(zombie growling)
It's past hunting hour.
But she was tasty, though.
(zombies chuckling)
Finger licking good.
(zombies chuckling)
(suspenseful music)
The state courthouse
has chosen to rule
"not guilty" on CZ Jose Romo
versus River Wild Elementary.
(suspenseful music)
Hey Marissa, do you
got the listical
for the top 10 pickup
lines for a Cholo?
What, no, I'm working on
the River Wild Report.
What? No, no, no, no.
That's way too depressing.
We don't need that.
Two children were
m*rder*d, Wolf.
Whatever, things happen.
Hey, you have a guest,
and we need to go
live in an hour.
(mellow music)
You still wanna
do that interview?
And then they ate my sister,
so that's why I'm here.
- Okay, okay. - No, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait. Be
careful with that.
So we know that it started
with this box and Monstros
and his crew and your
ex-girlfriend that you m*rder*d
and buried under a tree.
Well, it just seemed like
it was the best thing
to do at the time.
All right.
So what do we do now?
I mean, even if
this is all true,
and listen, I'm not saying
I believe you or anything,
but we are gonna
need some proof.
Well, what if you dig up
the tree and I have the box?
Yeah, an empty box and a dead
corpse is not enough proof.
Oh, here we go.
Look at the event title.
Come meet the chosen
one at the South Grove
Car Show. Performance by Endo?
Marissa, let's go.
We got an interview with
the mayor in five minutes.
Come on.
I hate that guy.
Politics is the lifeblood
of this country.
Come on. Let's go.
I hope the hell that's not true.
All right. I gotta go.
Go get your mom situated.
We'll meet at the car show.
We're gonna get to
the bottom of this.
Yeah, okay.
Man.
Sheriff?
Sheriff?
Oh man. No way!
Are you kidding me?
- Jesse. - I'm glad to see you.
Yeah, I'm glad you
could make it down here.
Did you have any trouble
with the protestors?
No, they're too busy
playing to the cameras.
Idiots.
They're trying to designate
"zombie" as a special class.
I'm sorry about Anna.
I miss her.
Hey, come on now.
I wanna give you something
that'll help keep your mom safer.
First, I need to
tell you something.
What if someone knew
how this started?
Well, I'd tell 'em to
keep their mouth shut
unless they had a solution.
- Okay.
- See, a Cholo zombies smart.
Smarter than most of us.
Have you found
anything that works?
(suspenseful music)
What are you doing, Sheriff?
Come on.
Watch this.
(g*n firing)
I've tried everything you
see in the zombie movies,
including sh**ting
them in the head,
but Cholo zombies, they
can live without a brain.
Does anything work?
Oh.
You gotta cut their heads off.
Body doesn't work
without a head.
See, they all vary on
the violence spectrum.
Some are cooperative,
some are very violent,
but they all crave human meat.
Hello friends!
Dr. Blackmist here with
all your zombie needs.
Let me ask you something.
Has the last time that your
(whistling) went (whistling)?
I promise you, if I
can't get yours to work,
I'll chop it off somebody
else and sew it on.
Are you telling your
girlfriend things like,
"I swear this never happens,"
"This is the first time,"
"It must be cold?"
Well, if you're using
BS excuses like that,
you don't need to,
'cause here at the clinic,
at Dr. Blackmist's,
we are able to wake up the dead,
if you know what
I'm talking about,
and I can't be too specific,
because there are
children zombie out there,
but I have a testimonial.
My zombie friend here hadn't
gotten any in over 200 years.
He came to the Blackmist Clinic,
and well, let him tell
you in his own words.
- Hello, Doctor. - Hello.
After I was treated,
I couldn't sleep on my
stomach for two months.
Okay, fine. Thank you.
That was very believable.
What can you do, his
sister's attractive.
Here at the Blackmist Clinic,
we will help your problem,
and if it's too small to call,
I'll make it large
and in charge.
Remember, Blackmist Clinic.
Nobody beats our meat!
(upbeat music)
What's up, ese?
I see how fools
be looking at me
when I'm walking down the
street because I got baggy pants
and all my black asos
I'm a Cholo, I'm a Cholo
Haven't you heard?
I'm a Cholo
Don't judge a book
by its cover, homes
I'm a Cholo, I'm a Cholo
I don't want no problems
I'm a Cholo, I'm a Cholo
I just want to dance
It's my Cholo dance
Take two steps to the right
and you say "What's up?"
Stumble out to the left
'cause you feeling drunk
Take it down to the
floor with your elbows up
Move side to side
as you coming up
Take two steps to the right
and you say "What's up?"
Stumble out to the left
'cause you feeling drunk
Take it down to the
floor with your elbows up
Hey local, come here.
Move side to side
as you comin' up
Come here!
Hey, what'd he do to you?
They k*lled my sister, man.
My white tee, my low
song, my baggy jeans
They k*lled my daughter too.
Look, I'm gonna give you this.
You'll need this.
Whoa. What's that?
It's an Astic ritual sword.
(camera shuttering)
I have it.
Thanks, man. I need it.
Hey, dog. Ain't that assist?
Yeah, I feel sorry for him.
Shoulda given him the AK, homie.
Not me.
Nah, I tried to tell him.
(camera shuttering)
Do it til you work a sweat
Do it til there's
nothin' left
What's going on?
Take two steps to the right
and you say "What's up?"
I don't know.
Stumble out to the left
'cause you feelin' drunk
Is that Monstro and his crew?
Take it down to the
floor with your elbows up
Move side to side
as you comin' up
Take two steps to the right
and you say "What's up?"
Come on, let's go.
Take it down to the
floor with your elbows up
Move side to side
as you comin' up
You weren't supposed
to see that.
Hey, I'm a Cholo, I'm a
Cholo, I'm a Cholo, yeah
I'm a Cholo, I'm a
Cholo, I'm a Cholo, yeah
(zombies growling)
(Marissa gasping)
What took you so long?
(g*n firing)
Step back.
Run now!
(hand smacking head)
Yo, y'all fools.
That's straight
zombie territory.
Not even I could walk in there
and start snooping around.
We found some. (zombie growling)
I know everything about zombies.
Hey, hey, what's going on here?
I found these two snooping
around a car show.
Some brothers of mine
wouldn't take it too kindly.
I'm sorry, Sheriff,
but we found something.
(suspenseful music)
All right, you two, go home.
Stay low.
When I come up with a
plan, I'll let you know.
We'll figure out how to k*ll
these preying, sucking scum.
Sheriff, why do you
hate zombies so much?
Go on, get outta here.
Come on! Go!
Yeah. Why do you hate us?
I would give my life
for you, Sheriff.
When I was a kid, I
loved South Grove.
I lived with my mom
and my stepdad, Manny.
It was sunny and the coolest
place ever to grow up.
One day, that perfect
picture was shattered.
I came home from
school and walked in
and found my mom on the floor.
There was blood everywhere,
and she had a big piece of
meat missing from her neck.
I heard a noise at the
other side of the room,
and it was Manny
eating a part of her,
blood all over his face.
You came home early.
And there was a box there.
It was pure evil.
Whatever was in that box,
it had possessed him.
He brushed past me, gave
me this strange smile.
I never saw him again.
I had thought he'd gone crazy,
but now I know he turned,
just the same as the
rest of these things.
Go on. Get outta here!
Go!
(chairs squeaking)
Jesse, tomorrow at the dojo,
we need to be at
the top of our game.
Yes, sir.
Hey, you ever thought
he left to keep you safe
so that he wouldn't
have to eat you?
That he loved you that much?
(suspenseful music)
(suspenseful music)
Hey, Jesse.
Do you remember how
to k*ll zombies?
You cut their head off, right?
Hey!
(dramatic music)
(swords clanking)
(dramatic music)
(swords clanking) (men grunting)
(Jesse grunting)
I ain't got nothing!
(dramatic music)
No, anger.
That's your number one weakness.
(dramatic music)
That's good. (Jesse groaning)
[Jesse] The wait for Saturday
night was the worst part,
but we were ready.
Let's get ready to
k*ll some zombies.
Let's do it.
[Marissa] There's one more
person we need to see.
Trust me.
[Jesse] I gotta
do this by myself.
Harmony House Entertainment
You know what it
is, baby let's go
Hey every story got
a legend, I'm an ace
Bringing hoe up when
I step up in the place
Eating good, got
food on my plate
Don't hate, I never
said a great zombie
Gut grippin',
flesh blood dippin'
Bodies in the freezer,
brains boilin' in the kitchen
If I had to eat you, all
my seasons like chicken
Real zombie music,
facts not fiction
Yeah, y'all walked in,
but I'm the head zombie
Yeah, y'all walked in,
but I'm the head zombies
El barna
Harmony House Entertainment
You know what it
is baby, let's go
Hey, every story got
a legend, I'm a ace
Bring hoe up when I
step up in the place
Eating good, got
food on my plate
Don't hate, I never
said a great zombie
Gut gripping,
fresh blood dippin'
Bodies in the freezer,
brains boilin' in the kitchen
If I had to eat you, all
my season like chicken
Real zombie music,
facts not fiction
I'm gonna dip in on the ride
It's more Jehovah Witnesses!
Oh, hey. Yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry. Come on in.
I've been expecting you.
- Oh yeah?
I don't know anybody
named Jehovah.
Yeah, yeah. No, they're around.
They try to sell cookies.
Hey doc, what happened to him?
Oh, this one right there?
Don't worry about this one.
He's one of them
victory outreach vatos.
You know, he reached out
too far, lost a mano.
I guess you can
say he's un-armed.
(Dr. Blackmist laughing)
Hey and we got our new
shipment of donors.
We do? What nationalities?
I don't know.
Well, I'll take a good
smell like I taught you.
Okay.
That's it. Take it in.
Take it in. Take it in.
Huh?
Four days.
Four days, huh?
Good, good, good, good,
good, little zombie.
I'll tell you what, you take
it upstairs, room three.
Not next to my pizza, huh?
Okay.
Disgusting.
(Dr. Blackmist cackling)
Ah, so many years
and so many beers,
and we're still heres.
Jesus.
They let you outta Tijuana.
Yeah
Y'all walked in but
I'm the head zombie
Yeah
Y'all walked in but
I'm the head zombie
El burna
Harmony House Entertainment
Every story got a
legend, I'm an ace
Bring your hoe when I
step up in the place
Eating good, got
food on my plate
Don't hate, I never
said a great zombie
Gut grippin',
fresh blood dippin'
Bodies in the freezer,
brains boilin' in the kitchen
If I had to get eat you,
I'mma season like chicken
Real zombie music,
facts not fiction
I'm gonna get in on the ride
When I think it's
time to take notice
I'll just get in on the side
Why don't they got
the rigor mortis?
Said they got a shortage
Mother f*ck' quarters
Bout to have a few
(rap music)
Y'all walked in, but
I'm the head zombie
All walked in, but
I'm the head zombie
Y'all walked in, but
I'm the head zombie
Hey, what's going on here?
My electricity bill's
gonna go through the roof!
This is no time to
have a good time, babe.
But listen, I like the beat,
I like your music,
but you gotta move on,
'cause I gotta do some.
My bad, my bad.
I gotta do some cutting up here.
- Excuse me. - I like that too.
You know. - Excuse me.
Hey, Chicanos we
like to stay quiet.
That's why I'm gonna
stay home and not riot.
Ah, beat that.
The PS, really good,
but I'd rather get me a
nice house in Hollywood.
Hey. All right.
So what we got here (speaking
Spanish) Victoria's Secrets?
I tell you, you can't,
you can't be using
all of that chemicals
and stuff like that.
You don't need it anymore.
It's not easy being
a zombie doctor,
because sure, your
patients can't die,
but it could happen.
You have to know
exactly where to go.
There you go.
So Doc, how do you know
about zombies and stuff?
How do I know about zombies?
Son, I was there at the very
beginning of zombie land.
I remember when I first
was interested in it,
you know, everybody talks about,
"Oh, you know, you
guys live forever.
Isn't that cool?"
Well, it ain't cool at all.
You know, it's not what
it's cut out to be.
I remember one time,
look out, watch this, I'm
gonna hit her femoral.
Oh, they always bleed so hard.
Even the fragilitas.
Just outta curiosity,
did you ever like see a, maybe,
I don't know a box?
Here's a little bit. A box?
- Yeah.
- I know what you wanna know.
Lemme tell you something.
There was these
skinny white guys
who called themselves
the Wright brothers,
turns out they weren't
brothers at all.
So I said, "Hey, would you
take me up on your bird?
You know, I wanna fly
around the corner."
I was thinking about
jumping into a volcano.
I wanted to know if I was
really immortal, right?
So, hey, I was young,
I was only about
150 years old then,
and I jumped, boom,
and then I come floating
back up and I'm not dead,
but all the hair, my
whole body had burnt up,
you know, down there,
there wasn't an
afro anymore, man.
It smelled terrible.
So I never did that again.
So what I did is, I decided to,
ah, there, ah,
that's a good one.
Ah. Oh boy.
- You said a box?
- Yeah, oh, that box.
I'm gonna tell you something
I never told anybody.
I buried the box.
Now, you're the
only one that knows.
What you gonna do
with that information?
Nothing I hope,
'cause if you do,
it's not gonna turn out right.
But I know where it's buried,
except I gotta get to know
you before I trust you.
You know, I don't just go around
and squirt on people like that.
No, no.
I got to, you know,
build a rapport.
[Jesse] Yeah.
Oh, this is a, this
is a very messy case,
but overall I think
she's gonna survive.
(Dr. Blackmist chuckling)
She's gonna survive.
Get it? All right.
Listen, I don't like the
way you're staring at her.
No, the zombies are
basically are made
from where a very
secret formula.
You know, boy, speaking
of secret formulas,
go gimme a Cholo beer.
Whew.
Dissecting bodies
is not easy man.
It's not easy,
especially when you got
some nice little piece of meat.
Here, try that. Oh,
that stuff is good
with some corn tortillas
and some cheese.
Ah, God.
Zombies would k*ll for that.
And if not, you can
put some sauce in them.
Ah, see, there you go.
Let's just say you
wanted to stop,
I don't know, the
zombies or the virus,
how would you?
Who in the world
would wanna do that?
Aren't you having fun?
But let's just say we did.
Let me tell you a secret.
The devil usually has
a favorite zombie.
Find him or her and
you stop the problem,
but you didn't hear it from me.
Hey, don't let my assistant see
you with a nice cut of meat,
'cause he'll go
crazy. He's jealous.
Thanks, doc.
- Yeah. - What's this all about?
You're giving him the best cuts?
[Dr. Blackmist]
Ah, gentle, my pet.
Do you want your chella?
(suspenseful music)
So we k*ll Monstro and
that ends the infection?
Looks like it, yeah.
But we can't be
everywhere at once,
so let's start where
we know they hunt.
Tom, I know I've
asked you before,
but what if someone
knew how this started?
What do we do then?
Well, it doesn't make much
difference now, does it?
- Yeah. - You got the tents?
Yeah.
Let's go k*ll us some zombies.
Let's go.
Hey, I gotta go to work tonight.
Okay.
So after 10:00 PM,
do not go outside,
or do not answer the door
for anyone, for any reason.
Got it?
Got it. - Got it?
I'll see you guys later.
Okay.
- Y'all good?
- Yeah, we're all good.
Let's get to work.
[Jesse] After about a year,
the attacks started
getting worse and personal.
(upbeat instrumental music)
(suspenseful music)
(zombies growling)
- Dad, Dad! - Dad, Dad!
Please don't, that's my kids.
Let me see.
You know that
everything is legal.
But perhaps you will
wanna make a trade.
Or maybe not.
I have to go to
work for a while.
Officer Ross? - [Ross] Yes sir?
You take my kids.
[Ross] Let's go in
the house, kids.
Stay close to the fence.
(zombies chattering
and growling)
(zombies laughing)
We go!
(dramatic music)
(sheriff screaming)
This is the last
Sunday they get!
Marissa, find out where
they're gonna be this weekend.
Rapa, get the weapons together.
Jesse, this ends now.
(dramatic music)
Zombie K*llers, mount up!
Alright everybody, keep
your hands on your shrivels!
Sheriff Tom, stay close to me!
(zombies growling)
Stay close to the Sheriff!
(Monstro growling)
(zombies growling)
(blood splattering)
(zombie growling)
(blood splattering)
(zombie growling)
(suspenseful music)
(sheriff grunting)
(suspenseful music)
(zombie growling)
(blood spattering)
(suspenseful music)
(zombie growling)
(blood splattering)
(zombie growling)
(blood splattering)
(suspenseful music)
(zombie growling)
(suspenseful music)
(spirits sighing)
(suspenseful music)
(Sheriff screaming)
(Sheriff screaming)
I hate zombies!
(suspenseful music)
(suspenseful music)
Monstro, you ugly b*stard.
Tonight this ends for good.
(suspenseful music)
[Jesse] So with Marissa
gone and Monstro defeated,
it's time to finish
the last can.
Son, have you told anyone
you're coming here?
No, Father. Why?
(zombie chuckles and screams)
I'm a Cholo, I'm a
Cholo, I'm a Cholo, yeah
Haven't you heard?
Don't judge a book
by its cover, homes
Yeah, I'm a Cholo, I'm a
Cholo, I'm a Cholo, yeah
I don't want no problems
I'm a Cholo, I'm
a Cholo, yeah
I just wanna dance,
this my Cholo dance
Take two steps to the right
and you say "What's up?"
Stumble out to the left
'cause you feeling drunk
Take it down to the
floor with your elbows up
Move side to side
as you coming up
Take two steps to the right
and you say "What's up?"
(zombie grunting)
Hey Darb, hey Darb,
you want some?
I'm good. I'm good, Flo.
I got meat over here.
You sure? More for me.
(Flo chuckles)
All right, that I
appreciate the thought.
No, I'm telling you, homegirl.
You gotta read the newspaper.
It's all about the signs. - Aye.
Yeah, I think I got my man
'cause he's a Sagittarius
and I'm a Scorpio.
b*tch, the only sign you
live by the free one, wet.
(woman laughing) -
Sandra, hold my baby.
Oh, like that, huh?
I just wanna have a good
time, forget the fatties
I'm glad you're okay.
Next time, you fight Regis.
Hey, I got like five of them.
It wasn't bad.
When you come
up right to left
What the?
She does that.
Yeah, show respect
Ain't nobody on the drip
Show me what
you workin' with
There was a Cholo zombie
and his name was Nicholas.
Nicholas waited patiently
for the hunting period
and then he attacked the man.
He repeated over and over,
"I think I can. I think I can."
He finally won the struggle
and had a lovely dinner.
Stumble out to the left
'cause you feelin' drunk
Take it down to the
floor with your elbows up
Move side to side
as you comin' up
I'm a Cholo, I'm a
Cholo, I'm a Cholo, yeah
Welcome to the hood
where I chose to play.
Where you turn in zombies,
so you better beware
with the bites and the attacks,
there's no coming back,
with your heart and soul,
turnin' pitch black,
turnin' pitch black.
(mellow music)
Can I get a moment
of your time?
Smoke a little,
life's a game of chess
Drugs, g*ns, hooters
got me on the run
Hey boss, I'mma
take lunch right now
Let me shine a little light
Can I get a moment
of your time?
Some a little uh,
life's a game of chess
Drugs, g*ns, hooters
got me on the run
Let me shine a little light
I grew up on the fifties
I love my whole city
Got the little ones with me
I ain't going back to
prison, house with a yard
I get my own nun locks,
I walk my own yard.
I'm figuroa filthy
where I come from
Dog, everybody filthy
Get your hands dirty with
them concrete burpees
Beer runs and licks
My heart was made dog
With every single brick
Legend in my own
I get my little shine on
Got a house loan
I see you haters smiling
Broke with a mouth full
Run with my juice's g*n,
with my juice's split
Top Ramen's on
the hood with it
Can I get a moment
of your time?
Smoke a little uh,
life's a game of chess
Drugs, g*ns, hooters
got me on the run
Let me shine a little night
Can I get a moment
of your time?
Hey, you want a manwich, cuz?
What's a manwich?
Well, you know,
some chicharones,
a little human flesh,
little bit of butt butter.
That's your manwich, homie.
Try it.
I'm, I'm full, bro.
Bro, take a bite.
I was just in the
fridge. You saw me.
I didn't see you eat.
Yeah, I got something on here.
Try.
- Try.
- I'm full, bro, I'm full!
I'm full, man. I'm full.
I believe you.
He don't know what
he's missing out.
Smoke a little uh,
life's a game of chess
Drugs, g*ns, hooters
got me on the run
Let me shine a little light
(door squealing)
Hey, how you ladies doing today?
How can I help you?
She's getting ready for prom.
Look at her face.
I just wanna look
like my sister.
Alright, I can
take care of that.
Follow me.
Yogi? The homie
Night owl? The homie
(group applauding and cheering)
She looks pretty young to be 51.
She's 15, idiot.
(speaking Spanish)
She's not a ninja, fool.
Ah, damnit.
I shoulda learned
Spanish actually.
It's an event you
won't wanna miss.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
La familia!
Pro vida, vampz!
Pro vida! - Pro vida!
We'll be seeing you soon.
Yeah, yeah! (Monstro growling)
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Cholo Zombies (2024)
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