[dramatic music playing]
[referee] One, two, three.
[bell dings]
[audience cheering]
[crickets chirping]
[romantic music
playing over radio]
[fire crackling]
[dramatic music playing]
[expl*si*n boom]
Hey, did you see that?
[suspenseful music playing]
[alien growls]
[car door clicks open]
[alien growling]
How much do you think they pay
for one of these
up at the college?
If we hurry, we can get
some tools back at my place
and have this thing
out of here before sunrise.
I bet
that thing's super valuable.
-[alien growling]
-Ow!
[man grunting]
[alien growling]
[alien screaming]
[woman growls]
[suspenseful music playing]
[birds chirping]
-[phone beeps]
-[Carl] Karina, this is Carl.
We've got a nice
little assignment for you.
You'll be interviewing
a local character.
Nothing but rumor
and innuendo surround his past.
The incident
you'll be asking him about
is something that maybe
your parents or grandparents
may have run across,
but probably only in some
far-out supermarket tabloid.
The man you're interviewing
is part of a group
at the center of this incident.
Not much is known about him
other than he was a mid-level
professional wrestler at best.
No one is sure where he got
the money to live so lavishly.
In any event,
i-- if any of it is true,
Florida was visited
by such a fiendish force,
it can only be
called diabolical.
Depending on who you believe,
what happened in
that small town
was so incredible
that the feds took massive
effort in suppressing it.
When you're finished
with the story,
you be the judge.
But at the end of it all,
ask yourself,
"It couldn't happen here,
or could it?"
[Karina] Conyers, Georgia.
Sparta, Tennessee.
[Love] Sparta, Tennessee.
Great town, great people.
Yeah?
[Love] We sold out
almost every show there.
[Karina] Nice.
Murphy, North Carolina.
I've got some friends in Murphy.
Thank you for meeting me today.
[Love] Well, I'm happy
to meet with you.
Just one thing, honey.
In the past,
when I've been interviewed,
questions seem
to drift towards politics.
When it comes to world issues
and things like that,
that's not something
that I comment on.
I-- I-- I'm just an entertainer,
and I'd rather keep
all that to myself.
Do you think all entertainers
should keep
those opinions to themselves?
-No.
-No?
-I'm not saying that.
-Okay.
Well,
if we can't discuss politics,
do you think we can discuss
the Blood and Thunder Tour?
[Love chuckles]
Well, of course we can.
That's a wonderful memory.
That was all
Jock Holiday's idea.
Do you know
who Jock Holiday was?
I'm familiar with the name,
but just vaguely.
He was a big name in wrestling.
Do you know
much about wrestling?
I covered
my high school's wrestling team.
[rock music playing]
[Love] Let me tell you a little
bit about pro wrestling.
Pro wrestling can be
a great life, a good time.
It can be a real adventure.
Nothing beats getting paid
for doing what you love.
You see,
it all starts with a dream.
As a young man, you're told
that everything you desire
is through those ring ropes.
[audience cheering]
Fame, wealth,
and the kind of freedom
that comes with success.
Very few will ever
achieve that freedom.
And those that do...
well, they find
it's a much tougher life
than they expected.
The young wrestler learns most
of his hard lessons on the job.
Never turn
your back on an opponent.
That's a good one to remember.
This business
is not for everyone.
And while it can be
a very selfish business,
it hasn't been all bad.
But at the end,
it's not about the fame,
money, or titles.
I never won a belt. Not one.
Of course,
the good part of that is,
I never lost one either.
What really counts
are the experiences.
The friendships,
the road trips,
the towns you visit,
the people you meet.
The camaraderie.
And most of all, the stories.
They live on forever,
and they get bigger and better
each time they're told.
When I think about it,
most of it comes down
to who you choose
to associate with.
And I was lucky enough
to fall in
with a pretty good bunch.
Anyhow, back to Jock.
[audience cheering]
[rock music playing]
Jock was what every wrestler
wanted to be.
The all-American.
A man of stature, yet humble.
He could be the underdog
and the fan favorite
all at the same time.
He held nearly
every title there was.
Pro wrestling was his life.
Everyone knew him
in the world of wrestling,
and you'd be hard-pressed to
find anyone who didn't
like him.
He once put together
a tour with the USO.
Many of the top stars
were involved.
They toured
just about the whole world.
This group, they considered
themselves unbreakable.
That's the name
wrestlers give themselves
who just keep going,
no matter what.
[shouting]
[audience cheering]
Jock was
the unofficial ringleader.
He was still touring
when others
were calling it quits.
Retirement.
He kept going for the fans.
And maybe he really didn't have
anyone to go home to.
Two, three.
-[bell dings]
-Yes, Jock!
Let's go, Jock! [cheers]
[audience cheering]
-Yeah, Jock!
-So good.
Get him!
You're a Jock Holiday fan,
are you?
-Yeah, he's awesome!
-I know, right?
He's amazing! Let's go, Jock!
I have a signed program
by Mr. Jock Holiday himself.
-Ten dollars.
-I'm okay. Thank you.
It's okay. I'm his manager.
I usually get
$25 apiece for these.
I figured being a big fan,
I'd give you a discount at ten,
but never mind.
How much you say?
Ten dollars.
I mean, because you're a fan.
[kid] You know what?
Here you go.
You are a smart businessman.
[Love] Meet Nicodemus Quarrels.
Last of the old school
promoters
and number one con man.
This is for you.
This is to remember this night.
-Yes, sir.
-All right.
Jock, your agent's
right next to me.
He just gave me
your signed paper.
All right. All right. Shh.
-[Quarrels laughs]
-Let's go, Jock!
-[kid cheers]
-Yeah. All right.
Good match.
Good match.
[audience cheering]
[laughs] Come on, let's go.
[all chanting] Holiday! Holiday!
Holiday! Holiday!
Holiday! Holiday! Holiday!
[Quarrels]
How many good runs you think
you got left in you, Jock?
You know, I'd recognize
that cheap cologne anywhere.
This cologne is $75 an ounce.
[chuckles] I wasn't
talking about the price.
What I'm talking about
is guaranteed.
What, lawsuits?
Just to get
what you still owe me?
[Jock laughs]
No thanks.
[engine rumbling]
[door clicks open]
[uplifting music playing]
[dramatic music playing]
[heartfelt music playing]
[Love] No, that's not
Jock's wife and daughter.
Well, not really.
You see, early in
Jock's career,
he had a great tag
team partner,
Javi Martinez.
Man, they were good.
One night, there was
a horrible, horrible accident.
Javi didn't survive.
Jock, he never got over it.
He kind of blamed himself
for what happened.
He made a vow to himself
that he'd always be there
for Javi's wife and
little girl.
Katie's all grown up now
and runs a sober
living facility
named in honor
of her late father.
She's even helped out
a few of our wrestling buddies
from time to time.
Katie was on the verge
of paying off the facility
when one of the investors was
unable to come through for her,
putting everything in jeopardy.
And although Katie tried
to keep the news to herself,
once Jock found out,
he knew he had to step up
and do something to help.
I'll take care of this.
["Angel Disguise"
by Brian Brickley playing]
Got a sweet little thing
And she knows
How to treat me right
[man] Hey there.
Need a ride?
And she knows
How to treat me right
She's an angel all day
And a devil
All through the night
People say she's so sweet
She must go home
When the sun goes down
[Love] The first Unbreakable
that Jock went to recruit
was The Mighty King Tonga,
a wrestler
and a man worthy of the name.
[shouting]
[rock music playing]
[referee] The Mighty King Tonga.
[indistinct shouting]
[audience cheering]
[bell dings]
In the ring, he was
unstoppable.
[both groaning]
He was just a massive force
that would run through one,
two and sometimes three
opponents at the same time.
And out of the ring,
he didn't let anyone
mess with him or his family.
[audience cheering]
He could have kept
going like Jock,
but he loved
being close to his family.
It was going to take a lot
to convince him
to go back on tour.
[bell dinging]
[King shouting] Come on.
-[kid] Pa! Pa!
-Oh!
[chuckles] How's it going?
[speaking other language]
-You crushed them all, Pa.
-Oh, yeah?
[King's daughter] Apple doesn't
fall too far from the tree.
-No?
-We got to get going, Dad.
He's got
a baseball game tomorrow.
-You'll see him there.
-[speaking other language]
[both speaking other language]
-Jock, it was good seeing you.
-You too.
[both speaking other language]
-[kid] Bye, Mr. Jock.
-[King] Me too.
You know, King,
I'm not jealous as much,
but, uh, I do envy your family.
[laughs] As you should.
[King groans] [indistinct]
So, uh,
you ever think
of going back out?
Going back out?
Out there on the road?
[laughs] You must be crazy.
This is my life now, Jock.
[sighs]
Katie's going to lose
the facility.
It's his family.
How many of the boys
are on board so far?
Including me?
[dramatic music playing]
[Love] Next,
Jock went to see Mac Brown.
Mac was a legitimate
karate champion.
The real deal.
When Mac made the jump
to professional wrestling,
he shot straight to the top.
He had a great career.
And when he finished,
he was one of those guys
who really knew
how to capitalize
on the name he built.
Mac owned a chain of highly
successful karate studios
all around the southeast.
He was one of the good guys,
always giving back
to the community.
However,
of all the guys in the bunch,
Mac had the least reason
to go back on the road.
[all shouting]
Think about it.
Back on the road with the guys,
the arenas, the fans.
Come on, Mac, you need that.
Do I look like I need that?
I get your point.
Look, you got my number
if you change your mind.
Take care, buddy.
[Love] Part of what makes
pro wrestling great
is the history
and what came before.
All of us were inspired
to be wrestlers
because we saw
some of the greats as kids.
No one represented
that better than Legend.
He was Unbreakable even before
they came up with that term.
I'm in.
You're in?
I could use a break
from, uh, all the golf
and the Bloody Mary's,
so I'm in.
You bring the title belt?
Until someone
can take it from me.
[rock music playing]
See you around, Legend.
[road din]
[rock music playing]
[Jock] You know, we don't make
a lot of close friends
in this business.
Well, that's true.
And you and me,
we've always looked out
for each other, right?
We have.
Plus...
plus, you know
the loot better than anybody.
-Now, there you've got a point.
-Right, I do.
You know all the great bars,
great restaurants,
great hot spots.
I need you on this. Please.
I'll go under one condition.
-Name it.
-Quarrels.
You keep that clown
out of my crosshairs.
You got it. I can do that.
Gotta go, brother.
Ambition is a dream
with a V8 engine.
[jock chuckles] Go get him.
[music continues]
All right, boys.
We got TV locked down.
Hey, 15 shots in 18 days.
-That's not too bad.
-Mm-hmm.
[Alexander] The champ is here!
The champ is here!
[shouting]
Somebody call for Handsome?
How we doing, sir?
Good to see you.
Jock. Legend.
How are you, Quarrels?
Oh, Love, you still, uh, chasing
that North Georgia
hillbilly title?
Hey, you remember
that night in Guadalajara?
[laughs] Oh, that's right.
Oh, [indistinct].
He wasn't there.
You don't really fly,
do you, Love?
You've never been to Mexico.
[Love] Why would I go to Mexico,
of all places?
I'll stay right here
in the United States of America.
-USA all the way.
-Oh, that's good for you.
But anyone who wants to be
an international,
worldwide superstar knows
that at some point,
you have to tour Mexico.
I mean, name me
one superstar who hasn't.
Elvis.
The king never played
one concert south of the border.
Even Fun in Acapulco
wasn't filmed in Mexico.
All right, all right, all right.
Enough of that.
Look, I need you guys
on the road by 10:00 a.m.
We all need this.
All of us. Especially me.
I have four payments
left on this tie.
-[King laughs]
-Okay?
Now, let's all go home
and get some rest
and hit the road
and let's go make some money.
Come on.
[indistinct crosstalk]
Come on, guys. Come on.
[rock music playing]
I like the way that you are
I like the way that
You smile when we talk
I like the things
That you wear
I like the way that
The light shines off of...
[suspenseful music playing]
[Jock] I know, I know.
I don't know where he is.
I mean,
he said he'd be here by now.
You know he's always
on his own schedule, don't you?
Yeah, I'm taking a health break.
[chuckles] Hey, Jock.
Um, do me a favor.
Uh, you got
some stroke with Quarrels.
Make sure
he doesn't schedule any matches
between me and Burnin' Love.
You're worried, uh,
he might mess up your hair?
[Alexander laughs]
Oh, that's funny. Uh, no.
Uh, you know, my fans,
they expect
a certain level of competition
and frankly, I don't want
to embarrass the guy.
-See what I can do.
-I appreciate it.
-[car horn honking]
-What the...
[uplifting music playing]
[engine rumbling]
[Jock laughs]
What?
No room to rock and roll
in a sports car, baby.
You gotta be kidding me.
Where the hell
did you get this thing?
I acquired it.
Only in America, baby.
I knew I forgot something.
I didn't bring my eight tracks.
I didn't bring my cassettes.
I didn't bring my laser disc.
[Mac] I did.
You guys need me.
[heartfelt music playing]
Good to see you, Mac.
Just a-- just a little.
Thank you.
Thank all of you.
-[Katie chuckles]
-Come on now.
You know you're family,
little one.
[Katie sniffles]
[suspenseful music playing]
[body thudding]
[rock music playing]
[engine rumbling]
Madison Square Garden.
That's where
you get famous, guys.
Oh, my favorite one
is the Omni on the National.
Best arena in the world.
Without a doubt,
Jacksonville Coliseum.
That's where I saw
my first match.
But one of my favorite
wrestling memories ever,
J&J Center, Athens, Georgia.
I saw Big Huff actually puke
right in the middle of the ring.
[all laughing]
[Alexander]
What about Mexico City Arena?
Number one, you get
the churros in the tunnel.
The mamacita's
waiting in the locker room.
It's the absolute best.
What, and you got that
rum horchata?
Now, the arena that
I would probably have to say
that I was most excited
to wrestle in
would be Hirsch Coliseum
in Shreveport, Louisiana.
One, Elvis got a start there.
Louisiana Hayride,
Waylon Jennings.
I was very excited about that.
Tokyo Dome.
It's the best of all time.
And it comes with this song.
It's...
[King singing in
foreign language]
Try it.
[rock music playing]
[crowd cheering]
[thudding]
[thudding]
[commentator]
Tonga can't be stopped.
Look at that shoulder breaker.
The Mighty King Tonga here--
Oh, a piledriver.
A powerbomb there
from the Mighty King Tonga.
[audience cheering]
Throws this one out
at another elimination.
Mighty King Tonga
dominant in this battle royal.
Completely dominant.
He cannot be stopped.
Not a dropkick can stop him.
Nothing can
get him off his feet.
Look out,
big back body drop there
from Mighty King Tonga,
and he does it.
A huge, huge win there
for the Mighty King Tonga.
[engine humming]
[uplifting music playing]
You guys, I'm going
to take a health break.
-[Legend grunts]
-[Jock] Sure thing, Legend.
[Legend sighs]
[sighs]
[sighs]
The last month
would have been
our 35th anniversary, Jock.
You know,
she was an amazing woman.
Made everybody feel welcome.
Kept you and me out of trouble.
God, Victoria.
The last six months, man,
she didn't even know
who the hell I was.
You know.
[sighs] You know, we really
appreciated you being around.
It meant a lot.
You were like a son to us, Jock.
I know she's in a better place.
I know she's waiting for me.
She's been gone so long
that I didn't know what
the hell my purpose is anymore.
Well, now you can take care
of this group of knuckleheads.
Lucky me.
[both chuckling]
[dramatic music playing]
Hey.
Hey, [indistinct], man,
what's the matter? What's--
[rock music playing]
Welcome to
the Blood and Thunder Tour.
I'm here with two-time Olympic
gold medalist Steve Lundquist.
Steve, what do you think
about the tour?
This is so awesome.
I brought my whole family out.
It's great, great action.
And I'm-- I'm here to see
Burnin' Love, baby.
Burnin' Love.
Thanks, Steve.
And now back to the matches.
[crowd cheering]
Yeah, baby!
Japan, here I come.
Hey, that's great news.
When do you leave?
Ah, funny.
I just booked the Tokyo Dome.
-Ah, congrats, kid.
-Thanks.
-Good for you.
-Thank you.
Hey, Love,
when was the last time
you booked the Tokyo Dome?
Oh, wait, that's right.
You've never been to Japan,
have you?
Well, let me start out
by saying I've got nothing
but respect
for the Japanese people.
They have a fascinating culture
and I look forward
to learning more about it.
But as far as me going to Japan,
well, Alex,
I-- I don't think I'd like it.
From what I understand,
the beds are quite small,
the showers are tiny.
It's a long flight,
isn't it, Jock?
-[Jock] Oh, yeah.
-Yeah.
It's just not for me.
[laughs] Well, you are
a cultural dinosaur, Love.
Well, that may be.
But I got
into professional wrestling
to wrestle the best.
And Jack Holiday will tell you,
the best wrestlers
are still right here
in the United States of America.
Hmm, yeah, well, lucky for you,
you're too old to get booked,
so you don't have
to worry about it. [laughs]
[Love] Well, I am
20 years older than you are.
Well, I've broken
this hand twice
and I've got a neck
full of bones burst and...
But on my worst day...
I could beat
the hell out of you.
[laughs]
Yeah, yeah, you keep dreaming.
What are we doing tonight,
Quarrels?
Here we go.
Here is tonight's
schedule, fellas.
[tense music playing]
[Alexander laughs nervously]
What is this, a joke?
You being funny? What is this?
No, it-- it was a-- a fan vote.
They want to see the--
the young Alexander "The Great"
versus the old,
the veteran Burnin' Love
in the ring tonight.
I'm sorry, kid.
I-- I did what I could.
[laughing]
[mimicking laughter]
Okay. Great.
Fan vote?
Never heard of a fan vote?
-Neither have I.
-[Love chuckling]
Gotta give the fans
what they want.
He is from Marietta, Georgia,
weighing
in a 205 regal pounds,
Alexander "The Great."
[audience cheering]
[all chanting] Alex. Alex. Alex.
Alex. Alex. Alex.
Alex. Alex.
[cheering]
And his opponent.
He is from Columbia,
South Carolina,
weighing in a 275 pounds,
the hottest thing since sunburn,
Burnin' Love.
[audience cheering]
[all chanting]
Burnin' Love. Burnin' Love.
Burnin' Love. Burnin' Love.
Burnin' Love. Burnin' Love.
Burnin' Love. Burnin' Love.
Burnin' Love. Burnin' Love.
Burnin' Love. Burnin' Love.
Burnin' Love. Burnin' Love.
Burnin' Love.
Burnin' Love. Burnin' Love.
[all chanting]
Burnin' Love. Burnin' Love.
[audience cheering]
-[referee] Ring the bell.
-[bell dinging]
[sportscaster] There's the bell
and here we go
in our big main event here.
Burnin' Love taking on
the up-and-comer
Alexander "The Great."
Burnin' Love,
he's really, really
endeared himself to this crowd
and he's had quite the career.
Quite the career, especially
in the Carolinas here.
They kind of consider him
one of their own here.
A little waistlock
takedown there
from Burnin' Love, the veteran
here in the Carolinas.
They still love him.
You know, you gotta think
about moments like this
where young guys
like Alexander "The Great"
want to absolutely prove
their worth here in this sport.
Burnin' Love there
with the wrist control.
Oh, really going to work
on that left arm there
of Alexander "The Great."
He's still working
on the wrist and the shoulder.
But Alexander "The Great"
able to reverse out of it.
Powers out with those legs.
Sends Burnin' Love
into the corner.
Hit hard there
on the top turnbuckle.
[audience cheering]
[audience member]
We love you, Alex.
Oh, I love you, too.
[sportscaster] Classic mistake
there by Alexander "The Great."
Turning your back
on your opponent
and Burnin' Love
is making him pay.
Head first
into the top turnbuckle now.
Looks like he's going to send
Alexander "The Great"
out to the floor.
Burnin' Love
is excited about this
and, oh, wow,
he's going outside the ring.
Things can get a bit testy here.
Handful of hair there,
but Alexander "The Great"
driving spine first
right into the ring apron.
[referee] Two. Three.
[sportscaster] Taking it
to Burnin' Love there.
Shot to the midsection.
[referee] Four.
[sportscaster]
A lookout reversal there
from Burnin' Love
sends Alex into the guardrail.
[referee] Six.
[sportscaster] These two
are really going to have
to pay attention to the count
so then there's not
a count out situation here.
[referee] Eight.
Nine.
Time. That's it.
At the count out.
Ring the bell.
[sportscaster] I think the ref
is throwing this thing out.
And look at this.
Oh, a choke there
from Alexander "The Great."
[referee] Guys, no!
That's enough!
[sportscaster] Burnin' Love
returning the favor here.
[all chanting] Let them fight.
Let them fight.
Let them fight.
Let them fight. Let them fight.
[sportscaster]
They're still going at it.
Look at this.
This has gotten
extremely personal.
You hear the crowd, the crowd
wants to let them go here.
Of course, we've got
some officials here
Coming for the back.
The bell has rung at this point.
We've got to get
some control here.
[indistinct shouting]
This is turning
into a Pier-Six brawl.
This is absolutely
getting out of hand here.
We have got to cut
to commercial break.
[indistinct shouting]
[bell dinging]
[all chanting] Let them fight.
Let them fight.
Let them fight.
[overlapping shouting]
[audience booing]
I'm good.
Man, off of me, man!
Hey, look, just--
just calm down a little bit.
Take a few deep breaths, okay?
No big deal, man. I enjoyed it.
[both laughing]
I'm blowing up
and I haven't wrestled yet.
But you did get
the crowd riled up.
You know, it reminded me
of back in the turnbuckle days.
[Jock laughs] You're right.
[Alexander] Hey!
What was that out there?
That was a lesson
in what happens
when you turn your back
during a fight.
Some underhanded crap you learn
in the outlaw territories.
Took you down a peg.
You know,
you're fat, you're lazy,
and you like to see
other people get hurt.
Not other people, just you.
You know, you're just jealous
because I'm not going to be
doing this stuff
when I'm your age.
Keep up the attitude
and you probably won't be doing
this past the night.
[scoffs] Yeah, you keep smiling.
Keep smiling, big fella,
see what happens.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, kid.
Come on, man,
you got to cut it out
before I put you both
in time out.
Oh, I was going to do that.
Good match.
It was-- it was great.
"Let them fight,
let them fight."
"Don't you turn
your back on me, boy!"
They loved it!
Good match.
Excellent. Excellent.
[referee] The Mighty King Tonga.
[audience cheering]
["Moo La Moo"
by Steve Azar playing]
My checks ain't bouncin'
but they sure is shakin'
I ain't broke yet
but I sure am breakin'
My BLT's just waitin'
on my bacon
But heaven say,
"Good, Good Gracious"
There's too much month
at the end of the money
Not enough dough
at the end of the day
Don't know why I'm laughin'
'cause it sure ain't funny
There's too much month
at the end of the money
[audience cheering]
I'm swimmin' in the red,
drownin' in the blues
I ain't rollin' in the green,
like I likes to
My piggy bank is empty,
no chicks in the coop
I need a cash cow,
a little Moo La Moo
There's too much month
at the end of the money
Not enough dough
at the end of the day
Don't know why I'm laughin'
'cause it sure ain't funny
There's too much month
at the end of the money
Yeah
Yeah, yeah
That's right
[suspenseful music playing]
[upbeat music playing]
[chuckles] Here we go, guys.
Hi, sweetie.
-Sexy Suzanna, thank you.
-[Suzanna] Anytime.
[indistinct]
gets a little wound up.
-Yeah.
-But he's right.
America is the land of plenty.
I'm eternally grateful.
To be here...
it has allowed me
to feed my family.
Well then, hey, man,
one for the family.
-No, to us.
-[glass clinking]
Yes, to something beautiful.
Yeah. Yes, it is, man.
It's been way too long, bro.
So long it's a sin, Jocko.
You know, I heard you guys had
a hell of a show
the other night.
[both chuckling]
It does take a little bit longer
to get up
off the mat these days.
There's no one
who knows better than us.
-Can't fake gravity.
-Amen.
Speaking of gravity...
I see you're still dragging
that weight around.
You know, Jock...
life really is 10%
of what happens to you.
And 90% of how you
react to it.
Thank God you both
weren't in the car that night.
[inhales deeply]
You gotta breathe, bro.
[exhales] And let it go.
And then breathe some more.
[sighs] So the next time
you fire up one of those
famous cigars of yours...
fire it up with this.
And breathe.
-Hey, kid. Hey.
-Okay?
You two one of them wrestlers?
Don't know
what you're talking about, pal.
Hey, no, I just got-- I got
just a quick question for you.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, I'm-- I'm-- I'm sorry.
Uh, I-- I got it all over your
cute little wrestling outfit.
[Padre sighs deeply]
Hey, my buddy and I,
we were wondering,
we heard wrestling is 90% fake.
-Okay.
-Oh, come on.
Hey, don't turn your back on me.
Come on.
[Padre sighs]
90% fake, huh?
Oh, that's a 10% that ain't.
Vaya con Dios, amigos.
["No Tell Motel"
by Rattletrap playing]
You know my wife is home
so please have mercy on me
No tell motel
don't you tell on me
Let's go
[crowd cheering]
[indistinct] blow your mind
[indistinct]
only I could find
And she asked if I was single
[indistinct]
Slipped back to that motel
room outside the county line
No tell motel
Don't you tell on me
No tell motel
Won't you let me be
You know my wife is home
so please have mercy on me
[all chanting] USA! USA!
USA! USA!
USA! USA! USA!
[both groaning]
[audience cheering]
[indistinct shouting]
[grunting]
[all chanting] USA! USA! USA!
[audience cheering]
[bell dinging]
...Thunder Tour is
sweeping the nation.
Burnin' Love, how you feeling?
Burnin' Love, baby.
I feel so good, man.
Burnin' Love,
the hottest thing
since sunburn.
Jock Holyday,
the all-American hero, baby.
We're so happy to be part
of the Blood and Thunder Tour.
[Love] One of the advantages
of spending most of my career
in the minor leagues
was that I got to work
with some of
the great smaller communities.
I never liked
places like New York,
Los Angeles, San Francisco,
or Chicago.
What I love is Americana,
the real America.
I dig the small town history,
the people,
and I really love
their traditions,
especially the festivals,
which are always
the biggest events of the year.
Whenever there was
the opportunity,
I'd jump in with the locals
and compete in one of
their hometown contests.
They always welcomed me,
and sometimes
I put on a pretty good show.
Ladies and gentlemen,
help me welcome to the stage
the grand marshal of this year's
Palmsville Citrus Festival,
former heavyweight
boxing champion of the world,
Pinklon Thomas!
[audience cheering]
Pinklon Thomas, how about that?
It's an honor to be here.
Have a great time.
[announcer] Hey, hey!
-Thank you very much.
-[announcer] Thank you.
Love that.
[all cheering]
-[announcer whoops]
-[cheering continues]
[inaudible conversation]
Thank you.
Good to See you, Sadie.
I'll see you around later.
-[woman chuckles] oh!
-Oh!
-Oh.
-Oh, I'm-- I'm so sorry.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I'm such a klutz.
-Uh--
-You okay?
I'm fine, it wasn't your fault.
Jock, Jock Holiday.
Uh...
Amanda Burrows.
Well, it's a pleasure
to meet you, Amanda.
Once again, I'm a klutz,
I'm really, really sorry.
No, trust me, that was all me.
[both laugh]
You must be one of the wrestlers
that's in town for the show.
Yeah, as a matter of fact, I am.
Uh, the Blood and Thunder Tour.
It's-- thank God
we got a few wrestling fans
that still like to see us
getting there
and mix it up a little bit.
And, uh,
that's also a fundraiser.
We're helping
a friend of ours out.
Oh, well, that's really nice.
You are in
for a rare treat today, folks!
That's right,
we have Big Phil here!
He's back!
He's a man
with a ten-year winning streak.
Our champion!
Fee-fi-fo-fum,
I came here to eat some pizza!
Well, once again, it was
really nice to meet you, Amanda.
You may not remember this,
but we've actually met before.
-Really?
-Yeah, it was--
it was a long time ago.
But, um, my little brother
is a huge wrestling fan.
And I took him down to Tampa,
to the big arena,
to see you guys.
-Uh-huh.
-Oh, it was such a great show.
-I mean, uh, match, fight?
-Match.
-Oh.
-[Jock laughs]
Anyway, he was so excited
after it was over,
he just didn't wanna leave.
So he took off and he ran around
behind the building
and he saw you guys there
that just-- you were talking.
He was like, "Jock, Jock!"
I was so embarrassed.
But you were just--
you were so kind
and you were so gracious
and you just knelt down
and you told him, "You know,
just be-- be a good American
and fight for what's right."
Um, you know,
he really took it to heart.
Really? Uh, look,
I know this may sound crazy,
but I really wanna go see
this pizza eating contest.
-Uh, you wanna go with me?
-Uh, sure.
Okay. Oh, excuse me.
My buddy's about to be in this.
I guarantee you he's gonna win.
What, no anchovies?
[announcer] Our beautiful
reigning Texas queen
to help us officially
start this contest.
-So--
-I'm gonna tear you up, son.
[Big Phil laughing]
On your mark, get set,
eat, eat, eat, eat!
Are you su-- are you sure
your buddy stands a chance
against that guy?
Oh, you are in for a rare treat.
-[Amanda chuckles]
-Trust me.
Man, what is BL doing?
Look at that monster, man.
Look, he's inhaling that food.
Hey, it's the classic
Tortoise and the Hare thing.
BL's gonna let the jolly
mean giant ram it in,
get his throat full of cheese,
and then he's gonna
swoop in for the win.
You know, he tells me, he says,
"When I eat, I like
the slavle all the flavle."
-[Mac and King laugh]
-He thinks he's a connoisseur.
[rock music plays]
[audience cheering]
[audience chanting]
Big Phil! Big Phil! Big Phil!
One more slice!
One more slice!
One more slice!
One more slice!
One more slice!
How nice to know
the dog's as hungry as he is.
Oh, wait a minute.
What kind of bull crap
is this, man?
Max, does that
dog have three legs?
-Yes.
-Okay, good.
It's not me then.
[Mac] Open your eyes, ref,
he's cheating!
Who, me? I'm not a ref.
Who you calling a cheater?
-Thanks.
-[King] You!
Real men don't cheat.
Who you calling a cheater?
You already said that.
Guys, come on,
this is really stupid.
Oh, I'll show you
something stupid.
[dramatic musical cue plays]
Hey, come on, guys,
we're better than this.
[dramatic musical cue plays]
[Big Phil chuckles mockingly]
Well, until we're not.
[Big Phil roars]
[roaring]
[grunting]
[indistinct]
[men roaring and grunting]
[yelling, grunting]
[whoops]
[men grunting]
[Jock] Yeah, we do.
-[both grunt]
-[volunteer] Okay, really?
[grunting]
Thank you, sister.
Give me somebody!
-[King exclaiming]
-[man grunting]
[both grunting]
[Jock exclaims]
[exclaims] Come on!
[both grunting]
[Mac exclaims]
[both grunting]
[roars]
Winner! Argyle!
[whoops]
-Tonga!
-Hammer!
-Wow.
-Wow, geez.
Good to see you man,
long time, buddy.
[both grunting]
-How you been man?
-So good to see you.
Hey, guys, listen up,
this is the great King Tonga,
the Mighty King Tonga.
Wow, man, good to see you.
Hammer, you know the Legend.
Oh, hey, Legend,
how you doing, man?
Long time.
Great to see you again,
Hammer, buddy.
-Yeah.
-You remember the boys,
BL and Mac?
Hey, BL, I mean BL and Mac,
good to see you man.
Yeah, it's good to see you,
I heard a lot of
good stuff for you.
-I'm Jock.
-I get you, baby.
I'm Jock Holiday.
Hey, Jock, nice to meet you man.
-You too.
-Wow, you know.
-What are you doing here?
-What am I doing?
I'm retired man,
my wife and I are having
a great time down here.
I'm a volunteer fireman.
[both laugh]
Yeah, brother, good to see you.
Hammer, good for you.
Yeah, hey, you know what,
let's all go
have a beer or three.
How about a case?
Ooh, case is even better,
even better.
[Jock] I think we're going
over here this way, guys.
over here.
[uplifting music plays]
[Jock laughing]
Man, this kid is out cold, man.
Mr. Promoter, don't fall in.
I do-- don't think
I've ever
seen a kid sleep that long.
Listen man,
I've got something to say.
Being out here again
with you guys
on this loop man, is great, man.
After all these years.
Amen to that.
I couldn't agree more.
Well, I tell you,
at my stage of the game,
you guys will never know
how much it means to me.
Thank you.
It's all about those
years that we talk about
retiring to Florida.
I thought we were joking.
But it turned out
that we all love it.
Yeah, we are, that's right.
To the greatest country
in the world,
may we all wrestle
and live forever
in the glory
of the Sunshine State.
In the best country
in the world,
USA, number one baby.
Thank you, great country.
-Hear, hear.
-Yes sir.
Boys, on that note,
I think it's time for me
to step out and have
another health break.
[laughs]
[Mac] Have one for me too.
[Love] Pass me
another beer will you?
-[officer] Good evening, sir.
-Oh, hi deputy,
how are you doing today?
Living the dream,
how's it going?
-Good, I'm doing fine.
-These your guys?
-Yeah. Inside.
-[knocking]
Howdy, officer.
Can you guys
come on out for a sec?
Um, sure, sure.
Uh, guys.
-Legend?
-[Legend] Oh, I don't know.
[officer] Watch your step.
[Love] What's this
all about? Ow.
Easy, big fella.
All right.
I need to talk to you
about the ruckus.
What ruckus?
Oh, what--
we were just hanging out
with your friends
from the fire department.
-You know, Hammer Jennings.
-[Jock] Yeah.
he's a great guy.
Yeah, we all go way back.
There's no problem at all.
Deputy Morgan
is at badge number 126.
We were just messing around,
you know,
so we would like to do anything
we can to speed up this process.
No big deal.
Me and the fellas here,
we do like to, uh,
support the men and women
in blue or brown.
If there's any problems,
just let me know.
We'll handle it.
By the way,
name's Quarrels.
Good to meet you.
[bell tolls]
[Love] And just like that,
we were behind bars.
The deputy
never searched the RV,
so she didn't find Alex
passed out in the back.
The kid got lucky.
He escaped going to jail.
What happened next
is hard to describe.
[g*nshots banging]
-What's going on?
-[flesh squelching]
[man] Jock,
what are those things?
-[Mac] Tonga, watch out!
-[Jock] Tonga, look out!
[King grunts and exclaims]
[indistinct shouting]
[Jock grunts]
[King growls]
-[King exclaims]
-[Jock grunts]
[Jock] Ow!
[thud]
Hey, she's got the keys.
[King] All right, all right.
Girl, I'll help you.
-Boys, it's time to go.
-Come on [indistinct].
-Let's go, let's go.
-[Mac] Let's go.
-Thank you, darling.
-[sirens blaring]
See, we're out of here
right now,
absolutely right now,
like yesterday right now.
What's going on here?
-Shouldn't we call someone?
-[Amanda] Already tried that.
-[King] Operator.
-Hey, brother.
-[Legend] Keys?
-Guess what I got.
Let's go. Let's go, let's go.
Come on, let's go, let's go.
[reporter] [indistinct]
of an alien invasion
[indistinct].
Local residents
seem to be infected,
under some sort of
mind control.
Once infected, they become
zombie-like with glowing eyes.
We don't yet know the effects,
but we know that
it is spreading rapidly.
Could this be
the w*r of the Worlds?
Tune in tonight at 11:00
for more detail--
[screams]
All right. We got this.
What happened?
[Mac] It's a long story, kid.
Don't tell me
the battery's dead.
-Man, we're not going anywhere.
-Oh, that's great.
I have some, uh, jumper cables
in the back of my truck.
I'll go with you.
I got this, cowboy.
Uh, it looks like
we might have some company.
[Mac] This is not good.
Oh, man.
We got to get out of here,
like now.
We're a little late.
Hard times, baby.
[car horn honking]
Y'all seen my dog?
-A dog?
-Huh?
Well, mount up
if you want tickets
for the Outta Here Express,
because it's leaving town.
-[honks horn]
-Come on.
In that death trap?
Shotgun.
[air hissing]
Huh. No.
[grunts]
There's your new shotgun.
We're going to head southwest.
This way, let's go!
-Come on in here!
-[Jock] Come on, guys.
Come on, come on, come on.
Come on.
So you want to tell us
what's going on here, partner?
[sighs] Are you referring to
the unscheduled
alien infestation out here,
or are you talking about
the government-funded
cattle cutting?
What do you think, pork chops?
[Amanda] Boys, meet Lou Castile.
Radio conspiracy nut
and all-around local irritant.
Oh, come on.
You know that I was
the only upstanding citizen
in this backwater swill,
smart enough to be able
to smell the truth, darling.
Elements of what you say
may be true.
This time.
Hey, true or not,
thanks for the assist.
We appreciate it.
I hate to break it to you,
but I'm afraid this may be
one of them frying pan
fire situations we got here.
They've eliminated all our
natural forms of communication.
Whoa, oh, wait just a minute.
See, I thought you said
aliens earlier,
extraterrestrials.
Like, not of this world?
I'm not surprised by
none of this.
I've seen it all before.
You can k*ll 'em...
but they don't die easy.
Yeah, well, neither do we.
Wait a minute.
Pro-wrestling...
versus aliens.
Man, that's like
a monster movie.
[frightening musical cue]
Look, what do they want?
We don't know for sure.
All we know is that...
when they're converted,
all they want to do
is convert others.
I've got a shortwave radio.
I know
they haven't got to it yet.
Hey, look, grab whatever you can
and let's go try to
find that radio.
-What's the matter?
-[g*n clicks]
Never seen a woman
with a g*n before?
-Just reminds me of my mom.
-[Amanda chuckles]
Deciphering
their hidden messages.
Exposing the government's
dirty little secrets
and agendas.
They may have tried
to shut me down
for a long, long time,
but not tonight,
no, siree, Bob.
They can't stop the signal.
Uh-uh.
No, we gonna
get the word out.
We're gonna warn folks.
We're gonna grab that bull
by the horns
and shake it
in that china chop till nobody,
nobody can say nothing no more
and the whole world
is finally going to realize--
-Boom!
-Where'd that come from?
[Love] They're sh**ting at us.
[Alexander]
Then we got to go. Go, go, go.
-[indistinct].
-Go, go, go, go.
Jock, take her out of here.
[Jock]
I'm not leaving you, Tonga.
Take her out of here!
Come on, big fella.
Yo, we're gonna
need more a*mo, man.
Hey, man, that's the smartest
thing I heard you say, kid.
Man, listen, I'm not going to
run out of kicks or punches,
but you know what?
I surely want to
sh**t one of those things.
Listen, man, I do too.
All right, listen.
Look at this place.
There's got to be a*mo
somewhere right here.
Let's split up.
Legend... [exhales audibly]
...you and the kid,
you go that way.
Anything you find,
g*n shop, pawn shop,
sporting goods store,
if you see a Piggly Wiggly
search it for a*mo,
everybody's gotta
sell a*mo in this town.
-We gotta find some.
-All right.
-Let's get it done, man.
-All right, brother.
We're going to have to
go this way, I think.
[King exclaiming]
All right, look.
We get more a*mo than we get
everybody back together.
[alien exclaiming]
-[alien screeching]
-[Mac exclaiming]
[Mac screaming]
[alien screeches]
[Mac exclaims]
-[alien screaming]
-[electricity crackling]
[alien screeches and grunts]
[King exclaiming]
[Hammer exclaims]
[both laugh]
Hey, we've always
been a heck of a team, man.
-To the end, brother.
-To the end, that's right.
-[Hammer gasping]
-[King] Oh!
-The heck are you?
-[Hammer mumbling]
Hammer!
Hammer!
[breathing heavily]
[roars]
What did you do to my friend?
[King exclaiming]
[alien grunts]
Hey.
Oh, you've got to be
kidding me.
Do you want to get out of here?
No. I'm not running.
All right.
Let's do this.
Wow, that's something
you don't see every day.
I'm telling you.
You've got to be kidding me.
One more round.
[Mac grunting]
[aliens screeching]
[Love grunts]
[alien exclaims]
-Come on. Get up.
-Oh, thanks, man.
I almost had him.
[Alexander grunting]
[alien screeches]
[Alexander screams]
The Alamo.
That's what
I'm talking about, baby.
Man, this is just what we need.
[Mac] Man, this place
looks like it's closed.
It does look closed,
but there's a*mo inside.
Anybody in there?
Come on. Let's get out of here.
Nobody here.
Man, let's-- let's take
one of these.
Hot wire it.
All right, but I'm not leaving
here without some a*mo.
-Look, Mac.
-What?
I hate to do it, but...
I'm breaking in.
Step back, Mac.
Hey, man.
You just shot my friend.
Nah. It's just rock salt.
I use it
to shoo the freaks away.
[Love groans]
I hope you got something
stronger than rock salt.
What do you think?
I'll go get the others.
[Alexander grunting]
-[Alexander exclaims]
-[alien grunts]
[Alexander grunting]
[Legend grunting]
[g*nsh*t booms]
Well, that's the end of that.
What happened to you?
Can we just get out
of this town, please?
[indistinct]
I think they got Alex.
We better get out of here.
[Jock] So...
always this crazy here
on a Saturday night?
[chuckles] Only when
the wrestlers come to town.
[Jock laughs]
Alex.
[Love grunting]
[alien screeching]
[Love growls]
[Love exclaims]
[Love grunting]
[Love] I'm so sorry, kid.
Come on.
I'll jump, you start it.
[indistinct], parasites!
[Quarrels] Come on.
[engine whirring starts]
Hey!
Hey, wait!
[Love] Hold it right there.
Hands up. Turn around.
Eyes open.
Let me see those eyes.
Bro, what are you doing?
-What am I doing?
-Come on, man.
Put the g*n down.
I want to make sure
you didn't turn into
one of those freaks like Alex.
What are you doing?
What-- what happened to Alex?
[g*nsh*t bangs]
[Jock grunts]
[Love and Jock grunting]
-We gotta get to the Alamo.
-[Jock] The what?
[tires screech]
Come on.
Come on, come on, come on.
Let's go. Let's go. Move, move.
Troy, keep those boomsticks
and choppers coming.
-Let's go.
-I'm out.
What we have here, Bert,
is another alien invasion.
Exactly what
happened back in 1970.
[Burt] Yep.
That's the entire town
of Shelbyville
from across the river.
[alien screeches]
[alien screeches]
[alien screeches]
[aliens screeching]
[Legend exclaims]
[tires screech]
[tires screeching]
[Legend] Legends never die!
[expl*si*n rumbling]
Legend!
I'm so sorry, Jock.
[somber music plays]
[dramatic music plays]
[exclaims] Come on!
[alien screeches]
[alien screeches]
[g*nsh*t bangs]
[alien screeches]
Man, what's it gonna take
to stop this guy?
Fire in the hole!
-[expl*si*n rumbling]
-[alien screeches]
Now you know
what I do for an encore.
[exclaiming]
[man] You gotta breathe, bro.
And let it go.
Let's finish this.
[rock music plays]
["Kerosene Creek"
by Casey Parnell plays]
[women exclaiming]
[alien screeches]
Oh, my Lord, watch me sway
Darkness falls,
and we all pray
Hoping for the light of day
Down to the river
I have held the
devil's hand
Felt the weight
of my own sin
Burdened by the
heart of man
Down to the river
Down to the river
Oh-oh, bury me, carry me
Oh-oh, far beneath...
[exclaims]
Going down deep
Oh-oh, bury me, carry me
Oh-oh, far beneath...
[hits landing]
Fire and water meet
Washin' me clean,
Kerosene Creek
[narrator] We took out
every one of those creatures
we could find.
Some people say that
a few of them escaped
to the Everglades,
but I don't think so.
Wow. Amazing story.
So did you guys
ever end up finishing
that Blood and Thunder tour?
Of course we did.
Listen, it was tough to go on
without Alex and Legend.
But like the great
Evel Knievel once said,
"You give a man your word,
you honor it."
We couldn't cancel the tour.
We got a new driver,
a new RV, and off we went.
What about
Katie's sober living facility?
Turns out Legend was loaded.
He left it all to Jock.
And of course, Jock,
he made sure
everything was taken care of.
Aw, that's so sweet.
[chuckles]
Oh, yeah, how about Quarrels?
Whatever became of him?
Nobody knows, nobody cares.
Rumor was he was trying
to run wrestling shows
down in Bolivia, but...
I don't know.
[chuckles]
Well, this is really
an unbelievable story.
Mr. Biggs, thank you so much
for your time.
I-- I think I have
more than enough information
for my article,
but I would like
to come back someday
and hear more about that
fantastic bunch you ran with.
Oh, it was great.
And if you think
fighting aliens was wild,
you ought to hear about the time
we tangled with Bigfoot.
You tangled with Bigfoot?
Here in Florida,
we call him the Skunk Ape.
[laughs] Come on,
are you pulling my leg?
[laughs] No. Young lady,
I've got the scars to prove it.
The open road,
you never know
what's around the next bend.
That's what
makes it so exciting.
Oh, there were
a lot of adventures
through the years, and why not?
Isn't that what life
is really all about?
Adventure?
Especially when you're
on the road with great friends
in the good old
United States of America.
["Moo La Moo"
by Steve Azar plays]
Check, check one,
where is all my violins
My checks ain't bouncin'
but they sure is shakin'
I ain't broke yet
but I sure am breakin'
My BLT's just waitin'
on my bacon
But heaven say,
good, good gracious
There's too much month
at the end of the money
Not enough dough
at the end of the day
Don't know why I'm laughin'
'cause it sure ain't funny
There's too much month
at the end of the money
Swimin' in the red,
drownin' in the blues
I ain't rollin' in the green,
like I likes to
My piggy bank is empty,
no chicks in the coop
I need a cash cow,
a little Moo La Moo
There's too much month
at the end of the money
Not enough dough
at the end of the day
Don't know why I'm laughin'
'cause it sure ain't funny
There's too much month
at the end of the money
Yeah, oh, yeah
That's right
Oh, I've done some thinkin'
I'd be okay
if a month was only 24 days
There's too much month
at the end of the money
Not enough dough
at the end of the day
My bottom line
is just down right funky
There's too much month
at the end of the money
Oh, there's too much month
at the end of the money
I don't know why I'm laughin'
'cause it sure ain't funny
There's too much month
at the end of the money
Oh, yeah, of the money
Moo La Moo
[upbeat instrumental
music plays]
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Unbreakable Bunch, The (2023)
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