02x04 - Monkee Mayor

[bunniefuu]

[foreign languange]

You sent for me, father?

Yes, Colette. Vidaru
has consulted the stars,

and the stars say you
must marry at once.

- But father-
- The stars never fail.

If I should die before you marry,
there will be no one to inherit the throne.

I would gladly marry for you,
father, but I don't know anyone.

What about Vidaru?

Him?

Excuse us.

Daddy, he's awful.

I know, my dear, but he would be
a very good ruler for our people.

But daddy, I can't marry him.

Who then? You have
already turned down all

the most eligible bachelors
in the world. Who?

Him!

Davy Jones?

Yeah?

Get on the scales please.

I think he's being weighed.

Ah, you're getting heavier, Davy.

I can remember when you
only weighed seven bars.

Um, that's, uh, David,
uh, hm? Yuh. Bye.

What's that?

Well, um, I don't know. It's,
um, oh, it's an invitation.

Oh.

King Hassar Ya-
King Hassar Yaduin of-

King Hassar Yaduin of
Nehudi cordially invites

you to the wedding of his daughter,
Colette, and-

Mr. David Jones!

Here we come
Walkin' down the street

We get the funniest looks from
Ev'ry one we meet

Hey, hey, we're the Monkees
And people say we monkey around

But we're too busy singing
To put anybody down

We're just tryin' to be friendly
Come and watch us sing and play

We're the young generation
And we've got something to say

Hey, hey, we're the Monkees
You never know where we'll be found

So you better get ready,

We may be comin' to your town

Hey, what's going on here?

My name is Shazar.
I am here to serve you.

Oh, really? So what'd
you bring me here for?

You are the guest of King Hassar of Nehudi.
You are going to marry his daughter.

Marry his daughter? I don't even know her.
Anyway, why'd she want to marry me?

Why does the camel sleep with
one eye facing the desert moon?

To keep his pants up?
A-heh.

Do not question the strange
ways of our people.

Marry the princess and be happy.

Tell me, has the princess ever
had a crush on anybody before?

Yes. There was a boy like you once.
She loved him, but he rejected her.

Oh. Does she still see him?

Oh, yes. She visits him every
week and puts a wreath on his grave.

The prince to be.

Oh, excuse me.

You look fine, my boy.
I'll get my daughter.

Do I really look alright?

Perfect.
Except for one thing.

Do not question the strange
ways of our people.

- Hi. Remember us?
- Of course he does.

Is Davy in there?
We'd like to see him.

Ha, here we go, right in.

I love your hair.

I love your hair.

I love your eyes.

I love your eyes.

I love your nose.

- I love your mouth.
- I love your mouth.

I love your neck.

I love your neck.

I love you.

My handsome prince.

Wait! I want to be honest with you.
I'm not ready to get married.

Oh, Davy, you must marry me. If you don't,
my father will make me marry Vidaru.

Isn't there anything you
can do about it?

No. Only you can save me from him.

That is enough. Our ancient laws do not
permit further contact at the first meeting.

Don't fail me, Davy.

Well, is this the hotel that you
said the maniac put the b*mb in?

Yes, sir! This is the hotel that
the maniac put the b*mb in, sir.

If it goes off, it will k*ll everybody
around for a hundred meters, sir.

Ooh. Well, uh, I, uh, wait a minute.
What do I-what's that I hear?

Sir, that is the Geiger
counter ticking.

That means the b*mb is
supposed to go.

I said that is the Geiger
counter ticking, sir.

That's the Geiger counter, sir.

Corporal. Corporal.

What, sir?

In there.
In that room.

Is that it, sir?
I think that's it.

Wait, sir!
Look who's here.

Flee, guardsman.
Run for your life, guardsman.

There's a b*mb in there.
You may be k*lled.

It's a b*mb.
Run for your life!

Run for your life!
The Geiger counter is ticking.

Let's get in here.

Davy!
Ooh. Hi. Hey.

Okay.

Where have you been, man?
I never thought you'd get here.

- Well, we thought that-
- What happened, man?

Well, I got-this king kidnapped me,
and he wants me to marry his daughter.

Nice looking?

Well, you know he's not
bad for his age-

No, no. His daughter, his daughter.

Oh, yeah, his daughter's
smashing. I think she's-

Hey, hey, if you're, if she's
re-if he's really a king,

and-and she's really his daughter
you're going to marry, that makes you a-

A prince.
Who are they?

Oh, these are my friends,
that's, um, uh-

- ? Hello... ?
- ? Hello... ?

My daughter tells me that you
don't want to marry her.

Oh, now, it's not that I don't like her,
it's just that it's all so sudden.

Perhaps Shazar hasn't told you what would
be in store for you if you did marry her.

Well, now, wait a minute.

Uh, just exactly what in store
for Davy if, uh, he marries your daughter?

This.

Oh! Ooh! Ah!

Wh-what's that?
What's that?

This is where you would live.

That's a little small, isn't it?

The palace has seven
hundred bedrooms,

twenty-two swimming pools,
and an indoor polo field.

Seven hundred bedrooms?

Yes, but what kind of a
neighborhood is it in?

Every year, you would have
your weight in diamonds.

Um, do you mind if I, uh,
talk it over with my friends here?

Certainly.

- What do you say?
- No. I don't think you should do it.

I don't think so.

Wait. That's exactly the
way I was thinking.

No, guy, I wouldn't do it.

I should add that, uh, your friends would

all become cabinet ministers
in our government.

Well, we shouldn't jump into this-

- Now, what a minute-
- No.

Absolute-no, no. Absolutely not.
It's Davy's choice.

One more thing. Each of you could
have his choice of a dozen wives.

Oh, lookie there.

Ooh. Ah, so, shalom, shalom.

What are you waiting for?

Well, I guess you're right, man.

It's a lot better than
getting k*lled, and, uh-

-maybe Nehudi's the place
to make a name for a group.

We'll do it.

Good. Let's go and tell my
daughter the good news.

Well, good luck with the,
the mini skirts.

Now there are four of them.
Should I prepare the four beds?

No, no, no.
Prepare four coffins.

They will not live
the night. Huh?

Beautiful coast of Madagascar.
Many years before-

- Ah, Micky? Micky?
- Yes?

I think I'm going to make
you secretary of defense.

Peter, don't worry.

Oh, I'll certainly keep it mended.

- What?
- The fence.

Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!

Uh, that's very funny.
Yeah, right.

Grapes, your highnesses?

Yeah, go on. They wanna have some grapes.
Uh, could you peel 'em first, though?

Charming. Charming. Uh, Mike,
I think we'll make you secretary of state.

Oh, um, okay, yeah.

Peter, don't worry. I've got a
great position for you.

I'm going to make you the director
of forests. How about that?

You would.

Should I k*ll them now, master?

No, no, no, no, no.
Wait until they are separated,

then k*ll each one differently.

Then no one will be able to
connect the murders. Eh?

Say, which sounds better in a peace treaty:
"we humbly request" or "pretty please"?

I don't know, but, uh,
you have nice ears.

Ah, I think we should use "pretty please".

Food for you, sir.

Oh, how nice.

Uh, no. You must not eat without
letting me see if it is safe.

Oh. Okay.

Ah!

How is it?

It's poisoned.

And... a little rare.

Oh, I love that. Keep that up.
Hm, keeps the mind alive.

Well, I'll stick this
here in the envelope,

and make sure that it's
addressed to the Ice Capades,

yes, and we'll take the olive branch.
Olive branch there for peace.

I'll take the dove there,
the little fake bird.

So, now we take the, oh, look at the,
look at the papers falling off the desk.

You know what I need?
I need a paper weight.

Oh!

Thanks for the paper weight.

What is this number with
the concrete block?

Navy, navy. I think the first
thing I'll do is modernize the navy.

Let's see, uh, modernization
of navy. Uh, six dollars.

Six dollars?
What's that for?

- New oars. Don't-
- You're cute.

-touch me. Secretary of
defense is never cute.

They're ruthless and ambitious
and power hungry. Huh!

You wouldn't hurt a fly.

A fly? No. But let Russia step
that much out of line,

and the dreaded Nehudi Camel
Corps marches straight to Moscow!

You are ruthless.

Oh, and efficient too. Watch me
cut thirty percent off this budget.

That was figuratively speaking, of course.

Ah, Davy. It's so nice spending
these last few moments alone.

What do you mean,
"these last few moments"?

At sundown, we must separate,
and then we're

forbidden from seeing each
other until the wedding.

Oh. Then we'd better
kiss a little faster.

Colette, do you think I'll
be alright as a prince?

You know, I've never done thing
type of thing before.

Well, I'm sure you have a talent,

but if you ever need any luck,

this will help.

Oh, that's sweet:
an Arabian Cupid.

No, Davy, someone's trying to k*ll you.

Ooh!

We gotta split. It won't be easy,
but I have a plan.

We don't need a plan. Got it made.
We can get out of here. We can walk out.

What about Abdul?

- Yeah?
- Take care of him.

Oh, you'll take care-

- What's the plan?
- Well.

They are going to the banquet, sire.

Good. Now I will use
my cleverest plan.

Go to the banquet hall and replace
their glasses with these.

But the others are nicer.

Oh, you idiot. This is the
way we're going to k*ll them.

I have coated the walls of the
goblets with a powerful expl*sive.

When it comes time for
them to make a toast,

they will clink glasses,
and then va-room! Go.

You must warn him, your grace,
or he will be k*lled.

But I cannot. By now they
are at the banquet,

and the laws of my people forbid me
from going there. You must warn him.

But your majesty, I will be seized
before I even have a chance to explain it.

Then be brief; tell him golden
Grecian goblets guarantee graves.

Boy, that was really a
smashing meal, wasn't it?

Well, I don't know; the pelican
livers were a little tough.

Uh, how'd you like the
piece of yak tail?

Well, I've had better.

But your majesty, the stars
warn against this marriage.

It's too late; the marriage
will take place.

Very well, your majesty, but I cannot
be held responsible for what happens.

Listen to me carefully;
I have a message from the princess.

What's the message?

Golden Grecian goblets guarantee graves.

Golden g-? Hey, Micky. Golden
Grecian goblets guarantee graves.

Golden Grecian goblets guarantee graves.
Golden Grecian goblets guarantee graves.

That's pretty good. Try this one:
rubber baby buggy bumpers.

Rugger baby buggy bumpers.
Rubber baby bug-rubber baby...

What do we play at the wedding?

How about "Here Comes the Bride"?

- "Oh, Promise Me", maybe?
- Yeah.

- Hey, Mike?
- What?

Golden Grecian goblets
guarantee graves.

No. Uh. Hum a few bars of it.

Hey, Davy. I have a message
from the princess.

Gentleman.

Look, will you wait 'til
he's finished his speech?

Oh. Oh.

We are here tonight to honor
a man who is about to marry

my daughter and take over the
leadership of our country.

A good man, a strong man whose perseverance
and fortitude have already carried

him to achievements far
beyond his tender years.

Gentlemen: Davy Jones.

Yay!

A man of dignity and humility who
has struggled against adversity and

every conceivable hardship
on the path to success.

Gentlemen: Davy Jones.

Yeah, hey!

Who, today, is one of you, a commoner,
and tomorrow, is one of us. The prince.

May he be blessed with courage and beauty
and sweetness all the days of his life,

and a terrible curse upon his enemies.
Gentlemen: Davy Jones.

- Yeah, hey!
- To Davy Jones!

- What was that?
- His glass.

Oh, forget about that.
Let's clink glasses; it's a toast.

How would you like to clink
glasses with me?

Well, no, I-I-

'Cause you know something's
wrong with mine, right?

Vidaru. You tried to k*ll
my future son-in-law?

Oh, no, your majesty, I-I-

How could you do this to me or
to the land of your birth?

The land of my birth?
Dah! I am not a Nehudian.

I was born in Enid, Oklahoma.

I just came here to get your oil,
which I'm gonna do right now.

She looked at me

And the emptiness in her
eyes was cruel to see

Then she turned
away and said,

"Once I loved, but love is dead"

And I whispered,
"Sometimes love is only sleeping"

She said, "I cannot cry

And I cannot give or feel or even try"

And her voice
was hard and cold

Then her sweet young face looked old

And I whispered,
"Sometimes love is only sleeping"

Through the endless
days and nights

Could not help but wrap
herself in sorrow [sorrow]

Through the endless
days and nights

She waited for a
shiny new tomorrow

Love was sleeping, sleeping

She looked at me

And her smiling tears were
warm and sweet and free

And the moonlight
kissed her eyes

As it mingled with our sighs

And she whispered,
"Sometimes love is only sleeping"

And she whispered,
"Sometimes love is only sleeping"

"Only sleeping"

I am eternally grateful to you, Monkees.
Ask anything you want; it is granted.

- Anything?
- Anything.

- We'd like freedom for us all.
- Yeah.

It is granted.

Oh, Davy, does that mean-

I hate to run out on you like this,
Colette, but it's, it's really for the best.

I'm too young to get married,
and now that Vidaru

is out of the way,
you really don't have to worry.

You're right. I shouldn't marry you.

Good, I'm glad you understand.
I'm sure you'll

find someone that you
like even better than me.

I already have.
Him.

La la la la...

You're not only cuddly toy that
was ever enjoyed by any boy

You're not the only choo-choo train
that was left out in the rain

The day after Santa came

You're not the only cherry delight
that was left out in the night

And gave up without a fight

You're not the only cuddly toy that
was ever enjoyed by any boy

You're not the kind of
girl to tell your mother

The kind of company you keep

I never told you not
to love no other

You must of dreamed it
in your sleep

You're not only cuddly toy that
was ever enjoyed by any boy

You're not the only choo-choo train
that was left out in the rain

The day after Santa came

You're not the only cherry delight
that was left out in the night

And gave up without a fight

You're not the only cuddly toy that
was ever enjoyed by any boy

You're not the kind of
girl to tell your mother

The kind of company you keep

I never told you not
to love no other

You must of dreamed it
in your sleep

You're not only cuddly toy that
was ever enjoyed by any boy

You're not only cuddly toy that
was ever enjoyed by any boy

La la la la...

- Hey, mans, welcome back.
- Thank you, Mr. Rafelson.

- Are we rolling?
- Yeah, you're on, babe.

Thirty-four one thirty-five.

Soul brother!

My sister had another baby.

I had all the windows of
my cars painted black.

Hi, America.
Hi, Television Land.

- Hey, Micky, does-you think a-
- I really hate these interviews, Bob.

What are you wearing, babe?

- A tablecloth.
- Carpet.

It's been a couple of months since
we've all seen ya, and you've changed.

He's wearing an earring.

This is a carpet from
Davy Jones' dining room.

- That's Mike line.
- Mike's line. Mike's line.

And how about your hair?
Where'd you get that from?

Uh, I just let it grow.

Peter, what have you got
around your neck there?

Beads.

Yeah, but what are they strung from?

Well, uh, this one is, uh, strung...

Ha ha ha.

Davy, did you get to see
your family this summer?

Yeah, I saw my father, my sisters.

- I wanna know-
- Did you know-

Did you know a chick mailed
herself to Davy? Davy didn't-

Oh, yeah!
What happened about that one?

Some, some young lady came up with the
bright idea of mailing herself to us-

And it ruined her arm.

-and she put herself in a big box,
put herself in a box this big,

and sent herself out and
put photographs on it,

and we opened it,
and this young lady popped out.

What happened to her?

Popped her back in again.

We shipped her to The Beatles.

I really hate these interviews.

We'll do an interview together.
You and me.

Here we go. Well, uh, t-tell me,
Mick, uh, where did you g-uh-

I really hate these interviews, Mike.

-get your hair? Oh.

Thirty-five. Ah!

Welcome back.

- ? Everyone... ?
- It's because we walk so funny.

In this generation
In this lovin' time

In this generation
We will make the world shine

We were born to love one another
This is somethin', we all need

We were born to love one another
We must be what we're goin' to be

And what we have to be, is free

Love is understandin'
We gotta be free

Love is understandin'
We gotta be free

We gotta be free

We gotta be free