01x11 - Thanksgiving Reunion: Part 2

[bunniefuu]

The whole world is parading
against nuclear energy

and nobody gives a damn.

They didn't can just for that.

Just for that, yes.

Oh, that's stupid.

Everybody knows
that nuclear energy

is going through,

as long as there's enough
people like me around

who loves their country,
thank God.

Thank God. Let's eat.

Thank God. Let's eat.

Michael:
Wait... no, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

What does loving your country

have to do with being in favor
of nuclear energy?

Don't you want us to be able,

if the need should arise,

to blow away
the rest of the world?

Oh, I'm not too worried
about that, Arch,

because we can already
do that many times over.

We're not talking about
nuclear weapons.

We're talking about building
a nuclear power plant

where accidents can happen,

our air gets polluted,
our food gets contaminated,

and our lives are in danger.

But if I ain't got
no nuclear energy

and I ain't got no oil,

where do I get the electric
to read my paper?

From a lightning bug
in a jelly jar?

Arch, you don't need
nuclear power.

You can use solar energy
or wind power.

What if I ever run out of wind?

Did you laugh?

Come on, Archie, let's eat.
Please, come on.

No, no, no. No.

No, I ain't finished here.

Now, listen.

No college ever fired nobody

for protesting against
nuclear energy.

Now he must have done

something worser than that.

If you must know,

they wanted to build
the nuclear power plant

on the site of a nude beach,

and I joined the protest
march in the nude.

Okay.

Is he kidding?

He ain't kidding?

Oh, my...

Don't try to calm me down,
I'm gonna blow.

Oh.

I thought it was bad

when he brung home
a draft dodger

to share our Christmas dinner.

I thought it was bad
when he went off

and he had that terrible
operation for himself.

Oh, appendectomy?

A little lower and to the left.

The vasectomy?

Yeah, like the family dog.

But this,

this is the living limit.

Parading around

with no clothes on?

Gloria,

not even a fig leaf?

Full nudal frontity?

Full nudal frontity.

- I think he means no...
- I know what he means.

I like it better his way.

- Are you asleep?
- Hmm?

No.

Can't you say something?

Let's eat.
Carve the turkey?

Not about food, about nude.

Well, Mike,

I was wondering

why you had to walk around
like that?

Ma, they wanted to build
a nuclear power plant.

And you thought
they wouldn't build it

if they seen you naked?

Ma, the only way
to join a nude march

is to march nude.

Oh.

It had to be done.

We want Joey to live
in a safe world.

We want Joey to live.

Well, then Mike done
the right thing.

If walking around naked

would make the world safe.

Walking around naked

can only help make
the world horny.

Oh...

Archie, where are you going?

Archie, wait.

No, no, no, no,

that's it, that's it.

I set aside one day
out of the year

to celebrate the birth
of the Pilgrims.

And this guy spoils it for me.

They come all the way
from California

to have Thanksgiving with us.

Let 'em have it with you.

They don't give
a damn over there.

It only means he can
have two drumsticks.

We wanted the drumsticks.

Well, all right.

Give him the part
the corn blew out.

- Archie.
- No, no, no.

I had it, Edith.

Archie.

Gloria, you asleep?

Gloria, I know
you're not sleeping.

You can't fool me.

Oh, my God.

Look at that big c*ck.

- There's a c*ck.
- Oh, get it off me!

- Oh, is it in my ear?
- I knew it.

- I knew it.
- I knew you weren't sleeping.

You weren't sleeping.

I knew you weren't sleeping.

Oh, honey, you're such a turkey.

I'm sorry, honey.

I'm sorry to wake you
up, but I just...

I just wanted somebody
to talk to.

Talk to the c*ck.

Honey, please
don't go back to sleep.

- Please.
- No.

- Please, can't we talk?
- Michael, I'm so tired.

I know you're tired,
but I wanna talk.

Can't we talk?

Michael, it's after
eleven o'clock.

Come back to bed.

I can't sleep.

Well, then why don't you watch
the TV for a while?

That always makes you sleepy.

I'd love to watch the TV,

but Joey hid the knobs.

Oh, some Thanksgiving.

Well, you got no one to blame

but yourself, big mouth.

I mean, I think by now
you would've learned

not to argue with daddy.

But no you have to fight.

You know what I think?

I think you enjoy
making him crazy.

Michael, you are so childish.

- I am not.
- You are too.

- I am not.
- Are too.

- I'm not.
- Are too.

- I'm not.
- Are too.

- I'm not!
- Are too!

- I'm not!
- Are too! Are too!

See?

You could have avoided
the whole fight with him.

- You know that, don't you?
- Now just admit it.

- All right. I admit it.
- Admit it.

- I admit it.
- Admit it.

I admit it.
I could've avoided the fight.

I made a mistake.
Get off my back.

Don't yell.

I know I made a mistake.
Get off my back.

Don't you whisper at me.

If I can't whisper
and I can't yell,

what the hell
am I supposed to do?

Shut up, which is what you
should've done

at the dinner table.

- Michael? Can you breathe?
- Are you all right?

Here, honey, get up, get up.

- I'm fine.
- Honey, I'm fine.

- Honey, I'm fine.
- Honey, I'm fine.

I just couldn't talk
for a second.

Honey, you just need
a good night's sleep.

Yeah, good night's sleep.

I'll get the lights.

Sure, get the lights.

Maybe you're just suffering
from a little jet lag.

- Yeah.
- A little anxiety.

Here, I'll give you my pillow.

- Oh, thanks.
- There. Let me tuck you in.

- Yeah, good.
- Honey, that's nice.

You go to sleep.
You'll see.
You'll drift right off.

Yeah, maybe so.

There, you feel better?

Yeah, I feel a lot better.

Oh, good.

Much more better.

Oh, honey.

Honey, all we both need

is a good night's sleep.

Yeah.

I wish I could sleep.

I'm so depressed.

Honey, we can't watch the TV.

I know.

Well, if we can't sleep

and we can't watch the TV...

guess that leaves
only one thing.

Scrabble?

Boy, you really are getting old.

- Oh, you mean...
- Yeah.

Well, honey, it's...

well, I mean,
right here in the middle

of the living room?

You wanna go in the kitchen?

Please, I...
What if...

What if Archie walks in
in the middle of us...

You wanna go down to the cellar?

Remember?

Honey, I...

really, I'm sorry.

I would love to, but I just...

I'm so... I feel so rotten.

Oh, okay.

Well, I guess you just
need a good night's sleep.

- Yeah.
- And you'll feel a lot better
in the morning, huh?

Yeah, right.
You're probably right.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, you usually
are about these things.

Definitely.

- Honey.
- Hmm?

You know,

you're the best thing
that ever happened to me.

Oh, I know.

I know...

I love you.

- Ooh.
- What?

No, "ooh,"
not "ah."

What "ooh" then?

Oh, I just found the knob
to the TV set.

Terrific.

Now we can watch
"The Honeymooners."

I'm kidding.

♪ Da, da, da, da

And they fired him for that?

Yes.

Well, if they fired everybody

who's against nuclear energy...

- Oh, come on.
- It wasn't just for that.

Murray,
I told you he was nude,
didn't you understand me?

I heard that.

Nude.

He was out in public there

with his gentiles on parade.

That's one way to protest
to the government.

Well, whatever happened
to writing a letter

to your congressman?

Come on, Archie.
Nobody ever got his picture

in the newspaper by writing
to his congressman.

Let me ask you something, Arch.

If you felt strongly enough
about something,

a cause, an issue,

would you lay your job
on the line for it?

Certainly... no.

- Well, I don't know.
- What the... what the hell

- are you talking about?
- Well, for example,

if it was in your power
to bring peace to the world

by walking down
Northern Boulevard

without your clothes on,

would you do it?

Well, could I keep on
my underwear?

No.

Well, Northern Boulevard...

I mean, couldn't I
go over to Brooklyn

where nobody knows me?

Right or wrong, your son-in-law

felt strongly enough
about that issue

to put his entire career
in jeopardy.

He blew his job, Murray.

And it wasn't in jeopardy,

it was in Santa Barbara.

I wish I had
a son-in-law like that,

who would risk his entire career

so that his kid could live
in a safer world.

That takes guts.

Well...

uh, maybe he has got guts,

but I ain't gonna eat
no turkey with him.

You're gonna hang around?

Yeah, I need some time

to think out this problem.

Well, that shouldn't take long.

Well, even for me,

I got to take a little time.

Okay.
While you're thinking,

I'm gonna go home.

- Yeah.
- Well, go ahead, go ahead.

I'll lock up.

Oh, uh, happy Thanksgiving.

Oh, yeah, happy Thanksgiving.

Whoop-dee-doo.

Oh.

Ouch.

I'm sorry, Arch.

It's too late for that.

Because I wanna...

Because I wanna tell
you something.

You can never put clothes

back on that picture
in the newspaper.

Arch, I'm not sorry
about what I did.

I'm just sorry
that we're always so far apart

on everything.

Yeah.

You loused up
my Thanksgiving dinner, too.

It was a nice turkey.

It seems
like I'm lousing up
everything these days.

My career, my family, myself.

Well, you could never
keep your mouth shut.

But at least I thought you
could keep your clothes on.

I'm 32 years old

and I have no job...

wife and a child to support.

I'm right... I'm right back
where I started.

Get outta here.
You don't know what tough is.

You should've seen people
back there in the Depression.

They didn't have nothing.

Well, what do I have?

What do you got?

You got a college
education there, ain't you?

You got a profession,

you got a beautiful little wife,

who loves you,
who thinks you're a hero

for standing up
for what you believe,

and a mother-in-law there
who loves you

because she don't know
no better.

You got a wonderful little son,

gonna grow up big and strong,

take care of you
in your old age.

He'll probably make
a lot of money

as an interior decorator
or something.

Well, everybody loves you.

And in a pinch, uh,

even I can put up with you.

Thanks, Arch.

I said I could put up with you,

I don't wanna neck with you.

Listen, I lost my job once.

Gloria was about six months old.

We didn't have no money,

all we had was bills there,

nothing coming in,
they turned the gas off.

My old man wasn't around,

so I couldn't ask him
for nothing.

Well, I mean,
I could've asked him,

but then, uh, the dead
don't give, you know?

So the point
of the story is that, uh...

Well, I ain't dead, you know.

Don't you grasp
my meaning there?

I ain't dead.

I mean, that while I'm here

to you and yours,

you ain't never gonna go hungry.

Thanks.

- Yeah, well, take it easy.
- Take it easy there.

- Hey, look.
- Maybe you better eat something, huh?

There.

Ah.

Edith, don't be hovering around

"eavesdripping," will you?

Come on in and sit down

where everybody can see you.

If I can wear my nightie
to the table.

Go ahead, as long
as it ain't the torn one.

Ma, shall I wake up Gloria?

Oh, she's up.

She'll be down in a minute.

Oh, I'm gonna have some breast.

Chest, chest, Edith.

For 30 years,

I'm trying to get you
to say chest.

What's wrong with saying breast?

Oh, my God, if I had said
that word years ago,

my mother would've screamed
and my father would hit me

with a shovel.

- Hi.
- Hi, Gloria.

Hi, little girl there.

Come on in.

Is it safe?

Yeah, everything's safe
in here but the bird.

Oh, daddy.

Whoa.

Sit down, Gloria.

- Boy, it looks terrific, huh?
- Ain't this nice?

Gloria:
Yeah, boy...

- Thanksgiving at midnight.
- All right. That's it.

And it's better cold, you know?

Hold it, huh?

Before youse all start
attacking the bird

like a bunch of dogs,

how about a little grace, huh?

Oh, yeah, a little grace.

Okay. Lord,
A. Bunker here again.

Uh, we give Thee thanks
for all of Thy blessings,

and we thank Thee

that we can be all together

and well and safe.

- Amen.
- Amen.

That was nice, Archie.

- Well, all right.
- Go sick him.

Is there any...

- Hey, ma, any stuffing left?
- Wait a minute.

- We have any stuffing?
- Yeah, in the refrigerator.

- Oh, good.
- I'll get it.

Get the cranberries, too.

Hey, uh, little girl,
I just wanna ask you one thing,

you know, before we bury

this disgusting topic forever.

Uh...

while Michael here was planning

to do all that
he done out there,

you know the...

you didn't know nothing
about that, did you?

Well, yeah, I did.

My little girl

that got such
a decent upbringing

from your mother
and father there,

you allowed your husband

to go march in a parade

where everybody was naked?

How could you do that?

Because I didn't wanna
march alone.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

- I'm sorry, Daddy.
- Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God.
- I was worried...

She was the most beautiful
thing on the beach.

- Oh, my God.
- I'm really sorry, Daddy.