02x24 - Two for the Gallows

[bunniefuu]

Stage late?

Yeah...

not more than


What's the matter with you?

I'm fine, but
these fence ain't.

Down in three places.

Pasture's full of them
mangy Dixson cattle.

Looked all over
for Pete and Len.

Mood I'm in, it's lucky
to them I didn't find 'em.

I'll ride out later
this afternoon.

Give 'em a talkin' to.

Yeah? Well, save
your breath.

No amount of talk from you
or anybody else

is gonna save those two
from a rope.

Just a matter of time.Oh, now.


They're not as bad
as all that.

Maybe a little wild
and irresponsible,
but...

[hoofsteps approaching]

Well, here she comes.

Now, go ahead.
I'll help you
with the team.

[theme music playing]

Little late.
Any trouble?

Yeah, a mite.

Good morning, sir.

G'morning.
What held you up?

What held me up?

I'll show you.
Bert!

Ow!

Howdy, Slim.

Nice morning,
ain't it? Heh.

They held you up?

They did.

Lousiest hold-up
I ever saw.

And with this.
Ha!

Ain't even loaded.

W-well we was just
a-joshing, Slim.

Uh, just passing time
of day, so to speak.

Sure, heh. W-w-we
was only foolin' around.

We wouldn't've used
no empty g*n.

Not if we was really tryin'.

They was a-wearing these
over their faces, but I
recognized 'em.

And it's lucky I did,
'cause Bert was fixing

to blow 'em into little pieces.

Maybe I should've
let him.

I'll take care
of 'em, Mose.

Why don't you let me
take 'em into the Sheriff?

Attempted robbery
is a felony, you know.

Three or four years
in the lock-up might cool
'em off a little.

Now, Slim, you don't listen
to that kind of talk!

Why not?

Why, be-because we
done learned our lesson, Slim.

I swear.
Cross my heart.

I-I-I would if you'd untie me.

Leave 'em here.
I'll be responsible
for 'em.

All right.

If you want a couple
of water moccasins
in your hip pocket,

well...that's your business.

I'll have
to report it, though.

Now, listen, you two,
and listen good!

This is positively
the last time, you hear?

Rather a wild pair,
I'd say.

Yeah, I reckon.

Gallow's-bait, for sure.

Uh, gallow's-bait?

Yeah, they keep up
like they are,
they'll do something

that'll make 'em
end up on the wrong end
of a rope.

Oh. Oh, I see.

Uh, my name is Landfield.

A-are you Mr. Sherman?

No. That's Mr. Sherman.

Oh, thank you.

[whinnies]

Now, you remember
what I said.

[hoofsteps departing]

Uh, Mr. Sherman,
uh, please, uh...

I've traveled quite
a distance to see you.

To see me?

Uh, yes sir.
Uh, this is my card.

I, uh... I have
important business
to discuss with you.

What kind of business?

Well, as you see,
I'm a mineralogist.

At the moment,
there's only one mineral
that interests me,

and that's gold.

If you could spare me
ten or fifteen minutes,
I assure you,

you won't regret it.

We got time to make up, Slim.

I've come a good many miles
to see you, Mr. Sherman.

I-if I can't interest you...
I'll be glad to take
the next coach out.

All right, Mose.

[coach departing]

Come on inside.Thank you.

Slim!

You ain't gonna leave us
trussed up here like a couple
of hogs for market, now,

are you?

Well, I wish you had
the sense of hogs.

You untie your own feet.

And go over to the pump
and wash up.

And stay in the yard!

Oh, yes, sir.
Yes, siree, Slim.
Yes, siree, Bob.

That old boy,
he ain't as smart
as he thinks he is.

[door closes]

Gonna catch us up
a couple of his horses!

Oh, no. No, I got
a better idea.

You go over there
to that pump and work
it awhile, you know,

splishy splash around,
noisey-like.

Why me?

Why you?
Because!
Because...

because I'm gonna go
around there and get
me an ear-full

of those fellers talking
about that there gold.

Get a-splashing.
Get a-splashing.

[splashing continues]And this is where I
must go, Mr. Sherman.

In return for guiding
me there,

I offer you half
of all the gold we find.

That's pretty rough country,
Professor.

Badlands, right
in the middle
of nowhere.

I realize that.Now...

This piece of ore...
came from there, Mr. Sherman,

over ten years ago.

I-it assays
at $218 a pound,
or 86% pure.

This small piece
is worth $111...
and some change.

Out of a vein
of almost solid gold...

About ten years ago,
you say?

Yes. An associate
of mine found it
in 1860.

He came to Chicago,
and we planned an expedition.

But the w*r interfered.

Uh, he was...wounded,
and never regained his health.

Just two months ago,

before he died,

he gave me this map.

What made you come to me?

My friend mentioned a man
named Sherman who knew
the country very well.

I had expected to find
a much older man, though.

Perhaps it was a relative?

Probably my father.

Well...

are you...interested?

Yes, I am.

Good!

How soon do you think
we could leave?

SLIM:
Well, it's waited
ten years now.

Another day or two
won't hurt anything.

Another day or two
might very possibly
hurt, Mr. Sherman.

I...I'm afraid I wasn't
as close-mouthed about this

as I should have been.

I know I was followed--
at least part of the time.

[splashing continues]

Well, we've got
about five or six hours
of light left.

We have?

Then, may I impose on you
for the loan of a horse?

Well, I only have
a few that are big
and strong enough

for a trip like this,
and they're not too gentle.

I wore Captain's bars
in the 11th Illinois.

That was a cavalry regiment,
Mr. Sherman.

Yes, so it was,
Professor.

Oh, I'm sorry.
My first name's Slim.

Mine's Courtney.

I can't say
I'm fond of it.

"Professor" suits you
just fine.

You know, come to think
about it, there's no reason
for us to go into town.

We can leave
from right here.

Good! Uh, what
can I do to help?

Well, I'll saddle
a couple horses.

Then we can start
loading 'em.

Shut up. Don't say anything.
Just stand there.

Can't you two do
anything right?

Well, we was
mighty dusty,
Slim.

Well, I think I've talked
to both of you enough.

Now I'm through
talking to you,

and I'm through
protecting you.

We know it, and we wanna
thank you for it, too, Slim.

Me and old Len, here,
we done learned our lesson
real good, ain't we, Len?

Huh?
Ain't we learnt
our lesson real good?

Yeah--oh, s-sure, we did.

I wish I could believe you.

Well, you can.
It's the lord's truth.
Here's my hand on it.

And, there, now.

We'd be obliged to you
if you'd give us back
Pa's old six-g*n, and...

and maybe borrow us
a couple of horses
to ride over to home on.

But you're walking.

Give you a little more
time to think over
what I've told you.

Well, that ain't
neighborly.

Now, I attest to it, now,
you're doing right, too, Slim.

So long, boys.And--and--

Well, y'all come on over
to the house to--to--to--
to visit, now, you hear?

Thank you for the loan
of the clothes, Slim.

They're certainly much more
practical than mine.

Hey, you look real good
in 'em, too.

[chuckles]

I shouldn't put too much
in this note to Jess...

just in case those friends
of yours from Chicago get
here before he does.

What?

Oh, yes, yes.
Of course, yeah.

Very wise of you, Slim.

Suppose you say...

we'd gone to look
at some property--
uh, real estate.

Would that sound plausible?It's a good idea.

Say, Professor,
do you have a g*n?

You should carry one.

Let me show you
what I have.

That oughtta do it.

Here it is.

Where'd you get this?

Sight and the hammer
is filed down pretty good.

Uh, th-th-they are? Oh...

Well, I did buy second-hand,
but the man said it was
perfectly serviceable.

Oh, dear.
False economy.

I should never have
tried to save on anything
as important as a firearm.

Now, why didn't I
have sense enough
to buy a new one?

Oh, I think it'll
work all right.

[clattering]

Oh...

Well, Slim, why would
anybody want to file down
the parts of a revolver?

Oh, it's an old
gunslinger trick.

Makes for a faster draw.

Oh...

Oh, no, I'm not a gunslinger,
if that's what you're thinking.

I was thinking that.

I'm sorry, Slim.

Another thing, Professor.

Yes?
In case you have
to use that g*n, uh...

It works a lot better
if you put b*ll*ts in it.

Y--

Ah. [laughs]

[hoofsteps continue]

There's only one trail
into them badlands...

so we're gonna have
plenty of time to catch up
with them before they get

too far back in there.

So, let's go get
the horse. Let's go--

Wait a minute, Pete.
We--maybe we can pick
ourselves up some cartridges.

Go over to Slim's place.Yeah!

That's using your
old head for something
besides a hat, Len.

Pa'd've been
right proud
of you, boy.

He would've been
right proud of you.

Let's go!
Let's get, then!Come on!

We're almost through
with the easy part.

Gets rougher up ahead.
How are you doing?

Fine, Slim. Fine.

Very nice country.

Not for long.

You ride real good,
Professor.

Thank you.

I suppose horsemanship
is something one never forgets.

Do you wanna rest a while?

Not unless you do.

All right.
Let's go.

All right,
come on.

Come on.

Slim!

Slim?

Getting kind of forgetful
in your old age, aren't you?

Slim!

"Take care of things,"
he says.

Like closing corral gates
after him.

[horse neighs]

Afternoon, Jess.

Howdy, Sheriff.

Slim around?

No, he's gone looking
at real estate

with somebody named Landfield.

Who's Landfield?

I don't know. Fella got
off the stage this morning.

I hear the stage let
off a couple of other
passengers, too.

Len and Pete Dixson?

Yeah.

What'd Slim do with them?

Ah, he probably bawled 'em out
and sent 'em on home.

They're not there now.

You stopped by their place?

Thought I'd throw
a little scare into 'em.

Just as glad they weren't there.
Trying to talk to them is

about as useful as trying
to talk to a couple
of deaf mules.

[Jess]
Yeah, I know
what you mean.

Couple of new
"wanted" posters
came in.

Nail 'em up
some place,
will you?

All right.

I'll bet you my badge
there'll be posters like that

on the Dixson brothers
before the year is out.

No bet.

So long, Sheriff.

[hoofsteps receding]

Be dark in less
than an hour.

Better make camp here.

Good idea.
These rocks'll come
in kind of handy

if the wind comes
up tonight.

We're being followed,
Professor.

Yeah. Yeah,
I know.

They've been trailing
us for about two hours now.

Why didn't you say
something before?

No point in worrying you, boy.

Besides, the only way
to get rid of 'em

would be to drygulch 'em,
and you're not the type.

Uh, neither am I,
for that matter.

Something wrong, Slim?

Yeah, you don't sound
the same as you did.

I don't follow you.

Well, for instance,
where did a college professor

pick up the word "drygulch"?

Mm...I read a lot,

and, after all, the expression
was common enough in the w*r.

What happened
to your glasses?

They're in my pocket.

I really don't need 'em,
except for reading.

Tell you what, Slim.
You hobble the horses,

and I'll scrounge up
some greasewood for a fire.

Well, it looks like
they're making camp,
all right.

Well, good.
That means we
can do likewise.

[neighs]

[Len]
Hey, Pete,
you to sleep?

Sure.

[groans]
Say, I don't know
how you do it.

I'm cold as
last week's taters.

Don't talk about food.

Oh. Oh, they got
theyselves a fire going.

That's good.

That probably means
they don't know we're
following 'em.

Probably means they're
eating bacon...

and beans and coffee...

maybe even biscuits!

I told you to quit that!

It's all right if I...
think about it, ain't it?

You know who they are--
those two that have been
following us?

Nope. They're
following, though.

Not attacking.

We'd hear 'em
if they were

the creeping kind.

Even a barefoot Cheyenne
couldn't cross all
that loose rock

without making a noise.

At least a noise
I could hear.

I'm blessed with a mighty
good set of listeners, my boy.

What about those friends
of yours you bragged to
in Chicago?

Don't you think it
might be a couple of them?

Truth to tell, Slim...
I never spouted off

about my treasure trove
to anybody.

Sayin' that was
just a little dodge
to fan a fire under you.

It seems to be more
than one little dodge
connected with you.

Oh?

How so, my friend?

You're not the same man
you were this morning.

Well...the big outdoors
changes most human beings,

even professors.

[chuckles]

Well, what's so funny?

I was just thinking
about those two trailing us.

They probably think we
haven't seen 'em,

so they made
a cold camp.

They're lyin' down there,
right now, in the dark...

shivering.

Hope they're not friends
of yours, boy.

'Cause they're headed
for a mighty unpleasant
surprise.

Like what?

Like a 30-30 slug
between the eyes

if they got notions
about my loot.

Uh...

our loot, that is.

Loot's a strange word
to use for a gold strike,
if you ask me.

I don't recall
asking you, boy.

Don't get sudden, Slim.

I can hit a dime as far
as I can see it,

and those blue eyes of yours
are a sight bigger than dimes.

Now...

on your feet.

Nice and easy, hmm?

I won't make
a very good guide dead.

I like you, Slim,
you know that.

Now, I got no intention
of putting a b*llet
in any place vital...

maybe a kneecap
or an elbow,
someplace like that...

if I have to.

I don't think it'll be
necessary...

but just to ensure it,
why don't you unbuckle
that g*n belt

and let it drop?

[clatters]

Over there.

And I hope you're
a light sleeper.

So happens I am.

What makes you
bring it up?

Oh, I might just have
a dream you're a snake
and stomp your head off.

Now, Slim...
you've got no call
to be mad at me.

I haven't hurt you,

and I'm not going to.

Furthermore,
I don't consider
you a guide.

What I said
still goes.
You're a partner.

Sure, that's why
you've got all the g*ns.

Only till you
cool off some, boy.

Fact is, you're not
mad at me nearly as much
as you are at yourself

for being taken in so good.

Don't feel bad about it.

You're not the first.

How far you figure
we got left to go, Slim?

I don't figure so good
without my g*ns.

[laughs]

I had a feeling you might be
a little surly this morning.

[clinks on ground]

You forgot
to unload it,
Professor.

[chuckles]
You oughtta know me better
than that by now, boy.

I don't forget things.

Here.

I wouldn't give you
unloaded firearms, Slim...

not when we might have
to fight off a couple
of claim-jumpers together.

I've got some questions
that need answers.

And you shall have them,
Slim, before too long.

I'd kind of like
to get started, though,
before it gets too hot.

I gave you back your g*ns.
Shows I trust you.

No reason why you
shouldn't trust me.

Well, why did you
disarm me last night?

Well, maybe that
was a mistake,

but the more you
found out about me,

the hotter you
were getting.

I just figured we'd both
sleep better with the g*ns
all in one place.

How many hours have we
got ahead of us, Slim?

Oh, we oughtta get
there before noon.

All right, then,
let's go!

Once you lay your eyes
on that gold,

I'll guarantee you'll lose
a lot of curiosity
about everything else.

This way.

You know something?
We could lose 'em
in this mess of rocks.

Why don't we close
in on them a little bit?

No!

When they get
to that there gold,

they're gonna have
to dig it out,
ain't they?

Yeah?

Well, we get there too soon,
and, uh, we're gonna be

the ones that have
to do the digging.

Well, let's stay back, uh,
about as far as we can, okay?

Well, sure.

Whoa.

According to this map,
we're pretty nearly there.

Well, should be.

You're right.

There's the dead tree.

Which way is north?

That way.

Eight paces.

One...

two...three...four...

five...six...seven...

eight.

There she is.

I'm no prospector,
but this sure seems like
a mighty strange place

to look for gold.

Like the man says,
it's where you find it.

Maybe the whole mountain's
made of gold, Slim.

Why don't you take
the first spell
at digging?

I'm worn out.

Thanks a lot.

I think I'll go over there
and peek over the ledge.

By golly...
you was 200% right.

That old Slim digging down
there like a biggity old gofer.

[both giggling]

Now all we gotta do is wait.

This ground's pretty hard.

Imagine it would be,
after five years.

Yesterday, it was ten.

Make it ten, then.

No sense wasting time
talking, though, Slim.

Keep digging.

[tool clatters]

Your turn, Professor.

[Bennet chuckles]

Oh, no. No,
I got a strong mind
and a weak back.

You're just the opposite,
so you dig.

Tell you what...
I'll take your g*n.

You take my shovel.

[laughs]

[hammer clicks]

[laughs]
You're not dealing
with an amateur, boy.

I took the gunpowder
and the percussion caps

out of your b*ll*ts
last night.

Now, get your back
into it.

Mind telling me
what I'm digging for?

No sense holding
out on you now.

You're digging for gold,
all right.

Oh, maybe a little paper
along with it.

Sixty thousand...

give or take a few hundred.

Nice round figure.

Yeah, stolen money.
Best kind.

Come on, keep digging.
It can't be much deeper.

Stolen from where?

Banks, trains,
you name it.

Remember the plumber g*ng?

Well, sure, but they're
all dead or...in jail.

[chuckles]
Except me.

Morg Bennet's the name.

Morg Bennet?

The last I heard of you,
you were sent up for 99 years.

[chuckles]

That's where they made
their big mistake.

They should have made
it for life. [guffaws]

Come on, boy.
Dig.

Hey.

There we are.

Come on.

That's it.
That's it.

Yank it out.

[metal rattling]

Now open it.

Open her up.

Ahh.

[coins clattering]

That's the one.

All right.

Tie it on your horse.

Can't make out what that is.

Looks like some kind of box.

Yeah.

Now where are they going?

All right, go on.

Would you rather have
a b*llet in your back?

Yeah.

No sense wasting b*ll*ts
if we don't have to.

And no need making it
any easier for those two
following us.

Over you go, boy.

[thudding]

Pete...

Pete, I don't believe
what I just seen.

Well, what did you
think you seen, Len?

Slim Sherman being
pushed over a cliff.

Maybe I made
a mistake,
huh, Pete?

No, Len, you didn't
make no mistake.

I ain't felt so poorly
since Pa died, I ain't, Len.

Pete, maybe he ain't dead.

Maybe he ain't dead.
He's a big strong fella,

Slim is.

No "maybes," Len.

We gotta go down there
and take a good look
for ourselves.

We can't go now, though.
That there murderin'
old professor,

he's done got
Slim's r*fle with him.

Well, if he don't know
about our being after him,

maybe he'll head back
up 'round this way.

Well, I surely do hope so.

Nope.

He's going down
a different way.

Come on, Len,
let's go.

Let's go.

[birds squawking]

Why ain't I remember
to oil this thing?

Why ain't you remind me
to oil this thing, Len?

I gotta think for the both?

Now, don't turn on me, Pete.

I feel as poorly as you do.

This don't look
like no gold mine.

Something in that box.

Something valuable enough
to make him k*ll Slim over.

Well, we gonna get him, Len.
We gonna get him good...

and when we do, boy--Take them valuables.

We'll take 'em.

We'll give old Slim
the fanciest funeral...

Laramie ever seen.Yes, siree, Bob.

That's what we'll do.
We'll get him a marker--

big, white, stone marker
as tall as that tree
over there.

Well, Pete, I...

I never set out deliberate
to k*ll a man before.

Oh, I know you didn't, Len.

And I didn't, either.

But this ain't no man
we're looking for.

This is a mangy coyote,
and don't you never
forget that.

Let's go.

Okay.

[squawking]

Easy, Slim.

Just rest easy.

Feel like somebody
stomped all over me.

Guess I'm still alive.

Well, you ain't in heaven,
you oughtta know that,

'cause you wouldn't
find me there.

Arm's busted.

Aah!

Yeah, it looks that way.

Anything else?

No, I don't think so.

Pretty badly bent, though.

Yeah, well, that's
an awful long flight
to make without wings.

Don't remember
any part of it.

Knocked me in the head up there.

That's probably
what saved your life.

You went limp
all the way down.

That, and then this
brush helped some.

Bennet do it?

Well, yeah.

How'd you know his name?

Seen it on a "reward" poster,
along with his face.

What was he after?Money.


Loot the Plumber g*ng
stashed up there.

Well, he didn't back-track
to Laramie, or you'd've
seen his tracks.

Yeah, well, there's plenty
of time to pick up that trail
once I get you back home...

There's not plenty
of time with him.

He gets away from us now,
he's long gone. Uuh!

Slim, you're too busted up
to go after him...

And I'm too mad not to.

All right.

First off, I wanna make
a sling for your arm.

Then go back and get
my horse and bring him
down and around--

That'll take too long for that.

Now, just climb
back up there,

get on your horse,
and pull me out of here.

Now, get!

Yes, sir, Mr. Sherman.

I'm glad to see you're still
your ornery old self.

Whoa, now.
Whoa.

Well...

trail's easy enough
to follow.

Only thing I can't figure
out is, where does he
think he's going?

Ain't nothing out there
but badlands, as far as I know.

Pete, I tell you...

when you go to sh**t
that varmint, you take care

don't hit his canteen.

I'm awful dry.

Well, who ain't?

What's the matter
with you?

Come on.

Well, Len...my old
sh**ting arm's done for.

It's dead as a door nail.

Don't you worry about it...[g*nsh*t]

Just don't--

Aah.

[sighs]
Oh, I missed him.

Now, he knows he
ain't at no turkey sh**t.

[groans]

Well, it's all
over, anyway, Len.

That old professor
is sittin' up there

with food, water, and a r*fle...

[groans]

Well, I reckon...

I reckon you're
right, Pete, uh...

Well, I wasn't gonna
give up, though.
I mean, not, uh,

not unless you said so.

You're a good old boy
for a brother, Len.

Hold it!

All right.

Hold it!

Yeah, thanks, Jess.
Reload my g*n.

What for?They're dead shells.

I don't know about
the others in my belt,
either.

Better use yours.

[g*nsh*t]

You hear that?

Yeah, it's been going
on for some time.

Many somebody's got
your friend the professor treed.

Yeah, there were
a couple of fellas
following us.

I don't know who.

I didn't see 'em, either.

Crossed some tracks
a ways back.

Could be they're just
as much trouble as he is.

Well, let's go find out.

Slim.

Thanks.

You know, you're
meaner with one arm
than I am with two.

Only when I'm pushed
over cliffs.

I'll keep that in mind.

[horse whinnies]

h*.

Get some cover, Slim.

[horse whinnies]

[Len]
Howdy...heh.

He's alive.

Unconscious from shock,
probably.

Oh, Slim, I...
oh, I'm sorry.

We was gonna--
we was gonna give you
the fanciest funeral

anybody ever seen
in the whole--

[door opens]

Hi, Jess.Howdy, Jess.

Well, the reward for returning
the money's gonna be here
in about a week.

Golly...Sheriff's gonna bring it out.

Well, that means your share
is gonna be $2,000.

[Len]
Naw!

What are you
gonna do with it?

Well, sir, I, uh...
been thinking,

and if Pete don't
mind terrible, I...

I'm gonna turn my share
over to you, Slim.
Have you watch on it.

On account of, I just
ain't got sense enough
to take care of my own money.

[Pete]
Me, neither!

Next time I go to town
I better see the doc
about my ears.

Beginning to hear
things I don't believe.

Oh, no, you ain't, Jess.

Me and my brother Len here,
well, we used to be a-scared

that we was gonna turn out
like you and Slim,

but now we kinda scared
we won't.