03x02 - King Me

[bunniefuu]

KING ME

Come on, come on, come on,
faster, Maurice!

Just a little more polish.

Done!

At last,
the royal post-rear-ior

has a symbol worthy of
its royal awesomeness.

- You okay?
- Do not worry.

It is only a royal pain.

Agh! Nothing to... ow!

Where is the royal
sitting cushion?

My spleen is tickle-y!
Ooh!

I'll be honest, I'd have
used Maurice myself,

but you are the King.

- Wha... Clemson?
- Evil!

Psst.
Who's the chair warmer?

You don't remember Clemson?
He tried to replace you as k...

Thanks for the intro, jeeves,

but I think I know
how to make an entrance.

Greetings, your highness.
And... lowness.

That's frankly horrifying, but I
bring you earth-shaking

yet, it's kind of funny, news.

Behold the birth certificate of
a certain lemur King.

Oh look, Maurice, it's my
baby booty prints. So cute.

Yeah, but, uh, see, did you
notice the fine print?

The part that says, "you weren't
born on madagascar?"

Uh-oh.

Thus, according to the sacred
messy scribbles of lemur law,

Julien cannot inherit
the crown.

Inherit!
That is hilarious.

What does that mean?

It means...

You can't be King!

What do you see, Kowalski?

This new zoom lens is
amazing, Skipper.

Mason's nose hair,
Alice's security codes,

even Mort looks so close,
it's like he's running

right through the lens, craw...

He's gone rabid!
Lethal force approved, men.

Kowalski's expendable.

Wait.
He's not rabid.

Help King Julien!

Clemson is...
evil!

Maurice, you speak babble.
Clarify.

Clemson's back and he has
proof the Julien can't be King.

- Is that all?
- You don't understand.

Clemson's gonna make
himself King now.

Mort and I will have to serve him.
It's a disaster!

Agreed.
Ringtail may be a buffoon,

but he's a relatively
harmless buffoon.

But Clemson, he's no buffoon.
And that concerns me.

Maurice, regalese options?

Lemurs pick their new King
with a sacred competition.

Julien can't inherit the crown,
but he can earn it if he wins.

- Ooh! Duel at dawn?
- Royal obstacle course.

Oh, so what's the big deal?

Well, let's just say King Julien
ain't exactly in fighting form, okay?

Not... royalty.

He's been this way since he
found out he wasn't King.

Weird.

Julien won't beat Clemson like this.

Well, option two then.

Complete annihilation
of the lemur Kingdom.

Hi.

Wait, Skipper,
I may have an idea.

Ugh! Does it involve
freakish mad science?

Just my brain-switching
machine.

Oh, well as long as
it's nothing weird.

We could use it to switch bodies

with Julien and compete for him.

You can use your crazy penguin
science ray to win for me?

Why weren't you saying so?

All: Oof!

Hey, check me out.
I'm the psycho bird.

Oof!
Oh, okay, that's a little gross.

You sure Rico's the best choice?

Booty.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah!

- How about that?
- Uh...

Thank you, thank you.

By the way, let's see the
Ex-king, lazy-rump, beat that.

Go, you crazy beast.
Be aggressive. B-e aggressive.

Wait, wait, wait, did Rico just talk?
You know, non-gruntingly?

Marlene, focus on the game.

Bam bam bam bam
bam bam bam bam.

Booty.

Julien wins!

How... what the...
with the ramming and...

Wait a minute, what's
wrong with your voice?

Allergies. What's the
next event? Royal manners.

- Thanks.
- Something smells rotten here.

It always smells rotten here,
but I mean this is really rotten.

I didn't shower today.

Or ever.

Okay, I'm going to help the
penguins and King Julien now.

Penguins?

Hey, look at that.

I'm me again. All right!

Excelente work, Rico.
Up next, royal manners.

Hmm, now who's polite?
Sickeningly polite.

- Private, you're up!
- Why thank you, Skipper.

Not a compliment.
Kowalski, switch 'em.

This really could work?

We have out-schemed a schemer!

So that's their game?

Well, I have not yet
begun to scheme.

They won't beat me twice.

I'll... is it wrong that I talk to
myself this much?

I don't think so.
What do I care?

I'm evil.

It's teatime in the cupcake factory.

Look, I don't prance
that much.

Boosh.

Uh... I mean...

I... am being ready for the
royal manners-y contest-y thingie.

Actually, slight change.
Manners requires clear skies.

Our replacement contest is,
hold on a second...

that's right,
being mean to servants.

- What?
- You heard me.

- Say the angry words!
- Do it!

- Come on, do it!
- Do it!

Oh, no,
I am touching the feet.

You better be mean to me soon.

Um, Mort is so silly, he...

he uses his salad fork
for his dessert.

I can't do this!

Does Julien seem
different to you?

Boo!
Get off the stage you!

Get Private out of there.

Darn the luck.
Better luck next time.

But coming up,
it's the royal trivia contest.

Bring on the trivia!

Trivia contest?

Oh, wait, I must have
read it upside down.

Hold on a second.

The next event is actually
ultimate gorilla wrestling!

Yo.

Leave the body alone!

I am defeated and whatnot.

What in the name
of Patton's bagpipes?

That ape took a dive.

Lincoln's secretary
was named Kennedy...

Hey, yo, those phantom punches
are stronger than they look.

Blast that trickster.

Those event were hand-picked for
Private and Kowalski's failure.

Everyone fails at
gorilla wrestling.

- Rico could have done it.
- You too.

We better figure out something.

There's only one even left and
Clemson's winning by a mile.

Evil!

- Skipper, why don't you go?
- Me in his body?

Ooh. Are you supposed to stop
when you feel the resistance

or just push through?

What self-respecting penguin

would agree to switch bodies
with Ringtail?

Answer me that.

- But you made us...
- Stay on track, Kowalski.

Now how does Clemson know
who's in the lemur suit?

It's almost as if he's...

right behind us!

Works in the movies sometimes.

Hey, classy place you got here.

Well, not classy, but it suits
you, which is half the battle.

Little tip though.
Your periscope is showing.

Egad, he was spying on us!

And you played
right into my paws.

Oh, it was sweet.
It was beautiful.

It was fantastic.
It was me.

Enjoying life
as a commoner, Julie?

Be-silence your insulty zings!

You cannot take away a true
King's... dignities.

Game over, boys.

Unless you can score, oh,


I'm the true King around here,
not just in my head.

And I can't wait to welcome my
new servant staff.

Hint: No days off.

What do we do?
Clemson is going to be

King of the lemurs.

And I'm going to be
a common-y commoner forever!

A loser!
Like that guy.

And that is how
you insult someone!

- No.
- Nuh-uh.

I refuse to be
outplayed by a lemur.

I don't care how many points
I have to score.

Mark my words.

That schemer will not win.

You hear me?
He will know sorrow!

And I've got just the plan.
He won't know what hit him.

Needles,
I gotta get over that.

Winner: This guy!

Eh, I'm thinking he was not
being a good choice for knitting.

Hey, hi there, hey,
right back at you.

Love this pointing thing.
It means nothing.

And now, my right hand man,
Maurice...

we'll change that name,
by the way,

king me, baby!

Uh-huh.

It's really happening.
This is it, my moment!

My moment forever!
I'm finally King!

I'm the King!

I'm... what's with
the new crown?

What happened?
How'd I get back here?

Let me put that another way.
What happened?

- How'd I get back here?
- Schemed ya!

I mean...

greetings,
my worshipping subjects.

No, I'm me.
I am the King. Worship me.

Talk about a sore loser.

That crown is mine.

Yes, of course,
I king Clemison, decree

the royal crown belongs to you,
handsome lemur, Julien.

Aha! I told you
you couldn't beat me.

Why doesn't this feel right?

Now, Kowalski!

Hey, monkeys, I totally
tooted in your bananas.

Lemur, run now.

Can I at least have the crown
you sat on in the beginning?

Want a crown? I'll give
you a crown. Come here!