I just wanna vibe high
I just wanna vibe high
I just wanna vibe high
So I wanna know
Why you bringing me low
Why you bring me low
Why you bring me low
Oh
I just wanna vibe high
I just wanna vibe high
I just wanna vibe
You're never
gonna bring me low
Welcome everyone and thank
you for joining me today.
Okay, I'm just gonna
have you take a second.
Oh, watching guru lady again.
Cool.
It's yoga.
Yeah?
Is it couch yoga?
Are you in couch pose?
And we're gonna turn those
emotions into a calm serenity.
Okay, full disclosure, I
don't really understand
why this girl is taking
the internet by storm.
She kinda seems a
little bit boring.
Okay, Patrick,
people say she's gonna
be the next Oprah, so.
She's not Oprah.
Two, three.
You don't get it.
No, I know.
That's what I'm saying.
Out through your mouth.
I love her.
Two, three, four.
Okay, well, we'll
keep an eye on that.
In the meantime, I'm
gonna go make dinner.
I hope you like beans
- and cheesecake.
- You will be safe.
You will be happy.
You will be healthy.
Hi Lu.
Hey boo, what you up to?
Not much.
So I proposed you
print that picture.
- Are you watching Kali.
- In your visual field.
What?
Emily, pause the
video, look at me.
I have a fantastic
surprise for you.
Ooh, okay.
Sorry, what's up?
We won.
We won?
We won.
We won.
We won the weekend
getaway with Kali.
Shut up.
- Yes, no.
- Shut up.
No, yes, we won, we won.
Oh my God.
Oh my God, what?
She picked us.
She picked us.
I feel like I'm
gonna cry right now.
Like I don't even
know what to do.
Just breathe.
Like, oh my God, we're gonna be,
like when she exhales,
we're gonna breathing,
we're gonna inhale her exhale.
We're gonna breathe
the same air.
Okay.
And you don't think Allegra's
gonna be pissed, right,
like about her weekend
getting ruined or anything?
She can't be mad.
This is so much better.
Like your bachelorette
is with Kali.
So that's why I am not
really a dog person.
Okay.
That's ridiculous.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
It sounds like it was
your fault though.
That's what the landlord said.
Anyways, how often do
you guys go to Grand Bar?
Oh, hold on.
Sorry, I have to take this.
Oh my lovely Lulu,
what do I owe this
unexpected pleasure?
Look at these boys.
- Hi guys, hi.
- Isn't he handsome.
That one too.
He's cute, right?
Okay.
Do you need me to send an
itinerary for this weekend?
I was actually just sent
an itinerary from Kali.
- Shut up.
- We won
the weekend getaway with her.
No, no, we're going
to Killington.
Like, Vermont?
Yeah.
I guess I don't
know where it is,
but promise me you're not
mad about Atlantic City.
Oh my God, no, I'm
not mad, I'm not mad.
I can find a stripper
anywhere, okay, I think.
Leg.
Have you called Emily?
First person I called.
She is the bride to be.
What about Darcy?
I think she's filming
something that weekend.
I don't think she's
planning on going.
No, I think she said
in the group text,
that you're not in, that
she's trying to get out of it.
You have a group
text that I'm not in?
Yeah.
Like we have one
with the four of us
and then one where
you're not in it.
And then Darcy and I
text a lot on our own.
Why would you do that?
I LOL at everything you type.
Hey, it's the building blocks
of all group friendships, okay.
Just let Darcy know about Kali.
But I gotta go right now.
Emojis too.
Okay, okay.
Well just text her,
I think she's on set.
Bye.
Hey.
Yeah, no, I know I left early.
All right.
Okay.
No, I'm here.
I'm sorry, I'm just,
there's like music
and I'm just distracted,
I'm listening.
Okay.
Okay, no, thank you,
I do not need a reminder
to be on set next weekend.
I have been reminded.
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
She's gonna be so excited.
Here's the bride-to-be.
Hello.
Hello ladies.
Hi Dino.
Why don't any of you
come to see me anymore?
Because this b*tch has been
too busy planning her funeral,
I mean, wedding.
I understand.
You gals take care of
our Emily this weekend.
We will.
I promise.
If we encounter a bear, I'll
make sure she's eaten last.
Bears?
In that case, remember,
bears don't like ammonia.
Keep some of that handy
this weekend, just in case.
Did you get that?
Yeah. I'll get some,
I'll try my best.
You know, you always
know the most random,
knowledgeable facts.
Why is that?
I'm a doorman, it's
kind of in my nature.
I'll take it.
All right, you girls drive safe.
Bye Dino, thank you.
Bye Emily.
Thanks.
See you later.
Who's ready for a wild weekend?
Me.
How long is the drive?
It's about seven hours,
- Seven?
- Maybe six.
Allegra, you have
your license, right?
Okay.
We should get there around five.
Oh, perfect.
Kali's gonna be there at eight,
so it'll give us time
to compose ourselves.
Oh, so I was skimming
some of my bridal
magazines the other day
and who did I see?
But our very own,
- "Hostess with the Mostest."
- No, no.
God, Darcy, that's so great.
I wish you would go
cake tasting with me.
I need your help.
Why?
She doesn't know
anything about cakes.
Thank you.
The other day they asked me
about wedding cake trends.
I don't even know
what that means.
Okay Darcy, food
is your brand now.
People expect you
to be the expert.
That is true.
You should write a book.
Okay, just because I
host a cooking show
doesn't mean I know
anything about food.
It just means I know how
to read a teleprompter
near food and smile.
But Darcy, seriously, there's
a lot you can do with this.
Don't listen to
the sellout star.
Hey, you're one to talk.
Hey.
All I'm saying is I
didn't think the woman
who only showered once
a month in college
would go on to have a
featured line in whole foods.
I showered twice a
month in college.
You guys, this thing on
the dash just lit up.
What does it mean?
I don't know.
Darcy, Darcy, this
is my territory.
Okay, I can't call that close
- to the road.
- Stop talking.
I won't be able to go
unless I can concentrate.
Okay.
You are something,
- you know?
- So you can change a tire,
but you didn't know what
the low pressure tire
light thingy was.
Okay.
You didn't know what
the thingy was either.
Okay, all right,
well, I guess the latter's
more important, biatch.
Wait.
Yeah, we're good to go.
Yeah, it feels like we are.
Oh and this is a serious
weapon, by the way.
Yeah, it's very dangerous.
- Okay, don't swing it.
- Oh my God,
you are legit scary
with this thing.
- Get in the car.
- All right let's go.
On our way to heaven
Hey, like, how much longer?
We are almost there.
Really?
It's like not even a
Starbucks around here.
Oh, this reminds me
of the, "Chilling
Killings of Kalamazoo."
Oh my God.
You are not allowed to talk
about your creepy crime shows
on this trip.
Okay, I have a confession.
I've already kind of met Kali.
You did?
Mm-hmm, yeah.
I did one of her
soul chat things.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Like the phone call thing?
Yeah, it was only 15
minutes, but oh my God,
it was so amazing.
She really opened up my mind.
15 minutes for $500.
Oh, I mean, I don't think
it was that much, but.
I'm looking at the website
and that's pretty steep Em.
Well, funny you should say that
because she actually
burned the money I Venmoed
after our session.
What?
Yes.
Well, okay, she burned $500.
Okay, I'm not getting it.
I'm not getting it.
Tell me what's going on.
She burned $500.
That's really shitty.
It was symbolic.
Okay, well tell
that to the people
who can't pay their rent.
You guys can say
whatever you want.
I'm serious about her.
I legit think she might be
the last genuine person left.
We need more people like her
with the state of the world.
Oh yeah, that's
exactly what we need,
another white girl in yoga
pants telling us what to do.
I'm joking guys.
I love her, I'm
obsessed with her.
Dreamed I would find
Someone like you
Oh, Lulu, will you
show us the video
that you sent to Kali?
I wanna see it.
Hi Kali, I'm Lulu Sherman,
creator of the
skincare line, Oh Crap,
which you may have heard of.
The four of us have
been best friends
since our native ambitious
days at Sarah Lawrence.
There's Emily, Allegra,
Darcy, and of course me.
Emily is a total
marketing badass.
All my friends
deserve it, really.
They all work so hard and
really just need to kick back.
If you pick us.
I will be indebted to you.
- Wow.
- For the rest of my life.
Oh, that's really cute.
Thanks.
Oh my God, I can't believe we
won with that f*cking video.
I mean, if I saw this,
I would k*ll all of us.
But now
I never say never now
Because I know
That heaven must
be shining down
On me and
You
That's so big.
No one jumped at that setup.
It's not what I expected.
Well, let's go check it out.
Woo.
Still okay.
Not what I expected.
Yeah, I don't wanna be
ungrateful or anything,
but I thought it would
be a little bit nicer.
This is so genuine, right.
Yeah.
It is a little cold.
Let's get drunk.
We'll warm right up.
Yeah, going in the freezer.
- What the f*ck?
- Hi.
Okay, you guys, I have
brass knuckles stay calm.
Who are you?
Hello, she asked you
a f*cking question.
Sorry, you're all
just so radiant.
Okay, well we are not
just t*ts and a*s.
Actually, you have four
of the smartest ladies
in Manhattan right here.
And we will seriously
kick your a*s
if you don't tell us
who the hell you are.
Geez, I should have known.
Manhattan?
I grew up here.
I'll be your neighbor
for the weekend.
We don't need your
whole life story.
I'm here for whatever you need.
Well, we need for
you not to be here.
Allegra, the property
stated it had a caretaker.
He's legit.
Don't be rude.
All right ladies,
I'll just show you few
things about the house
and then I'll be
outta your hair.
Okay, thank you.
What?
Be nice to him.
- What?
- Will you be nice.
He stared right into my eyes.
- You're crazy.
- This is like an episode
of, "Chilling Killings
of Kalamazoo."
And there was a guy
who wore overalls.
No.
- Always.
- You're kidding.
I like your overalls.
I think they stocked the fridge.
Just don't feed the bears.
Got some books by the fireplace
if you're reading folk.
Lemme show you the attic.
Fixing to get a new bulb
before you guys got here,
but suppose I'll have
to bring it by tomorrow.
That's about it.
Well, thanks for
showing us around.
You look awful familiar.
Oh.
Like a movie star or something.
I'm sure you get
that all the time.
She isn't a movie star, but
she is a television star.
Ah.
She's the, "Hostess
with the Mostest."
- From the show.
- I don't really watch TV.
Have you done any
play acting too?
I actually consider myself
mostly a theater actress.
I mean, I guess not
as much as anymore.
Have you ever done anything
at the Williamstown Festival?
In the Berkshires?
Oh wow, yeah, actually
like five years ago.
"The Seagull."
That's what it was.
I mean, wow, you blew
my mind in that play.
I mean, I don't understand
how you stay so focused
and everything under
all that pressure.
Oh, it's really not that hard.
I mean, I could
never do something.
I'm sure you could.
I mean, have you even tried?
Once.
That's how I know I can't do it.
Hey Dar, Allegra needs you
for a game we're gonna play.
Oh, right.
- Yes, and hit Shane, please.
- Oh my God.
He was literally the worst.
He was awful.
His friends also sucked.
Well, have you ever seen
sober people play darts?
No, okay.
All right, oh my God.
I hope I'm good, okay.
Oh, that wasn't good.
Okay, okay.
That was kind close.
He's like, never
been hit before.
I dunno why, he's smug enough.
I know.
Remember when he had
that pantless web series?
- Yeah.
- Oh.
Oh my God, Kali, Kali,
you're here in this house.
I'm Lulu.
You picked me, our video.
We're bacheloretteing.
- We're friends now.
- Why don't you
Let the woman inside?
Oh my God.
I'm so sorry, please sit down.
Oh, no, no worries.
I totally get it.
It's really lovely
to meet you, Lulu.
Thank you.
This is Allegra.
Hi queen of the
bachelorette party.
Oh, congratulations.
Or best wishes, I
think it's best wishes
when it comes to the bride.
Oh my God, thank you so much.
But I'm actually not the bride.
She meant she's the queen
of getting sh*t-faced.
Hi, I am Emily, I'm the bride.
And it is truly an honor.
Ugh, I am the honored one
to be invited on a girls'
ritualistic weekend like this.
I mean, you don't even know me.
Well, that just goes to
show how good you are
at what you do, because we
feel like we do know you.
Yeah.
I think we missed one.
Hi, I'm Darcy.
Nice to meet you.
You look awfully familiar.
Oh.
She's an actress.
Ah, how fun.
I love the theater.
She's on TV.
She has a show, "Hostess
with the Mostest."
Oh, I don't actually
own a television.
Oh.
Yeah.
I'm not actually some anti
television snob or anything.
I just, I really
don't have the time.
Oh, I bet.
How do you do it all?
Because you do a f*cking lot.
Do you have like an army
working for you or something?
You know, this weekend it's
all about Emily, right?
Yes.
- It's enough about me.
- Yeah, good idea.
No offense.
But let's get back to our game.
We could probably
start winding down.
You're playing a game?
- Yes.
- Oh, it's just
some silly game.
You don't have to play.
It's really, it's really silly.
It's not silly, I spent
like six hours on it, plus.
You know, I'd be happy to
lead a guided meditation
if you like.
Oh my God, that sounds
- incredible.
- Yes.
Just relax.
Go ahead and lie down.
Make yourself feel comfortable.
Just stay still.
Go ahead
and just breathe.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
We are different
from our bodies.
These are a temporary
house for our spirits.
Death is not the end.
We attain perfection
through many lives.
Gaining wisdom from each one.
And becoming closer to perfect
with each life that is lived.
But you will not get it in
the state that you are in now,
in this presence
that you are in.
Renounce your desires.
Renounce those who
spread demonic ideas.
And who merely talk
of moral values
but do not practice them.
Stop.
Oh my God.
Well, I really liked Danny
until I met his family.
- Oh God.
- Oh God his family.
So bad.
Why, what was wrong
with his family?
They spoke in pig Latin at
dinner, for the entire meal.
No, for the entire meal.
And Danny got really mean when
I wouldn't go along with it.
But I'm just really
bad at pig Latin.
Needless to say it
was better away.
Don't say that.
Okay.
Over is what I'm saying.
Over.
What a colorful dating history.
Oh, not even.
You should hear Darcy's
tales of romance.
No, you shouldn't.
Darcy, please.
Now that I'm engaged, I live
vicariously through you.
Yeah, I bet, working in
the entertainment industry,
you meet a lot of
interesting people.
I meet actors, which
means I usually have
an incredible first date
and by the third date,
all of the trauma's
on the table.
That sounds sort of refreshing.
Allegra is the one with
the exciting dating life.
Oh, is that what you call
it, Allegra, a dating life?
Screw you.
What about you Lulu?
Oh, Lu is a fellow
serial monogamous.
Oh, this is my husband-to-be.
I'll be right back.
Your phone is meant to
be on airplane mode.
Oh, can I just take
this real quick?
I don't want him to be worried.
I guess you are the
bride, so just this once.
Thanks.
Airplane mode?
To answer your question, Kali,
no, no one at the moment.
I'm obviously really busy
with my company, Oh Crap.
So it's really hard for me
to meet people right now.
Kali, please tell me
you're not one of those
like anti-sex, yogi people.
I am intermittently celibate.
I find that it just really
helps me keep a clear head.
I just, I really like
being here with you.
Just like being with a
big group of sisters.
I always wanted sisters,
but I got stuck with brothers.
Oh my God, me too.
Oh my God.
You guys are like, so all right.
Sorry, phone is officially
on airplane mode.
He called you from
his bachelor party?
It's a little codependent, no?
- Okay.
- Ew, no.
And he's bachelor party
is tomorrow night.
You've been gone
like eight hours.
I know.
Isn't that sweet?
It is sweet.
Don't listen to them.
Okay, well, I'm exhausted
and I'm gonna go turn in.
Not gonna check the locks?
She's totally paranoid.
I already did twice.
All right, goodnight.
And don't be quiet
on my account.
I've got my Air Pods.
Freak.
She seems really
happy to be a bride.
What is her fiance like?
Oh, he's a really nice guy
and he's just crazy about her.
He's boring, but he's rich.
So she likes him.
Honestly, he's exactly
what she was after.
He's very secure.
Oh my God, they're in love.
You're just a sinner.
So she's ready to quit her job.
She wants to be a housewife?
You know, I really
don't think we should be
talking about our best friend.
Technically, we're
talking about Patrick.
You know what?
I'm gonna have to bed too.
Goodnight
Night.
She didn't used to
be so sensitive.
Is there something
going on with her?
- I thought you were going.
- Jesus.
I didn't see you there.
God, just need to find
something for my back.
Okay.
Okay.
Morning.
I love you, Dar.
Oh, what do you want?
Can you pretty,
pretty, pretty please
get me a cup of coffee.
Sure.
Why can't you get it?
'Cause I need the coffee
to have the energy
to get the coffee.
Understandable.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Coffee coming right up.
Hmm, we told her she couldn't
have any until she got up.
She needs the coffee
to have the energy
to get the coffee.
Enabler.
Oh, how many cups have you had?
None.
You know I'm off coffee
until the wedding.
The bleaching, it's
really expensive.
The teeth are the as*h*le.
Wait, have you guys been having
like weird cell phone service?
Darcy, you know, we're not
supposed to have our phones.
You should have gotten
up earlier, Dar,
we did a sun salutation
with Kali at sunrise.
Yeah.
That's very cool.
Yeah, I do yoga
three times a day.
You are under no
obligation to join,
but if you do want to make
the most of the weekend.
Count me in for the next one.
Leg, you want cream?
Yes, please.
Where's the cream?
Oh, actually I have the
perfect vegan substitute
in my bag.
I've got something
you can use too.
Oh, thanks guys.
Dar, what is my life right now?
I'm getting married in a week
and all my best
friends are here.
And my idol is like, she's
like one of the girls, right?
She's like one of us.
It's crazy.
- Do you think she's?
- Here you go.
It's just a spoonful.
Ah, I'm good.
Here's some vegan
sweetener if you want some.
Oh, thank you both.
Is that the Guzzling
Farm, Swuga?
Yeah, I saw your post
about it a few weeks back.
It's all I use now.
Yeah, it's garbage.
They're actually the reason
that I don't do
sponsored posts anymore.
I dug a little bit deeper,
child labor, pesticides,
the whole shebang.
That's awful.
Your coffee little lady.
Careful, hot.
Thank you my liege.
I do not wish to be awake.
So bach b*tch, what's
the plan for today?
Sadly, I think I've
been dethroned.
But it's only temporary.
I have a surprise
for the weekend.
Oh God.
It makes me nervous
when you say that.
Hello, come eat.
Okay.
Everyone needs some
protein before our hike.
- Yay.
- Yay.
Hey Travis.
How can I help you?
Just, can I grab something?
Okay, come in.
Oh, hi Travis.
Hello ladies.
Good morning.
Good morning.
To what do we owe the pleasure.
Oh he just had to
grab something.
Oh, you must be the one that
helps out around the house.
I think the guy who owns it
mentioned something about you.
It's not a guy.
It's an old lady.
Travis, this is Kali the guru.
Oh, nice to meet you.
Me too.
So what do y'all got
planned for today?
I think we're going on
a hike around the lake.
No, we don't, we don't
know what we're doing.
But that's what she said.
When or where, I think we're
gonna hang around the house
- and do some girl stuff.
- Oh thank God.
Sounds fun.
Well, I get outta your hair.
Okay, Darcy, you are not
supposed to tell strangers
when your house is vacant.
Oh he forgot his gloves.
Is she crazy?
Hold on.
Hey.
What is this?
Oh, that's my dried algae.
You forgot your gloves.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Hey, have you,
have you ever done
any Shakespeare?
Oh, I was Rosalyn
in a production of,
"As You Like It," in Brooklyn,
like three years ago.
It was before "Hostess
with the Mostest."
I bet you were good.
You have a really
nice way of talking.
Oh, thank you.
Is that what you wanted?
What?
Be on TV to blow up?
I thought it was,
but I understand now why
people call it blowing up.
I think I would call
it selling your soul.
I mean, you could always
buy your soul back, right?
I mean, you can buy pretty
much anything in this world.
Darcy, come on.
I should go back.
I'll bring that light
bulb by this afternoon.
I'll wait till you're back.
I don't wanna freak
out your friend.
I'm sorry.
Don't be.
You're freaky and I love it.
But it is time to go and I
don't want you to get m*rder*d.
Okay, okay, let's go,
let's go, let's go.
Go, go, go.
I'm so grateful for the
community that I built.
Yes, but how did you build it?
Build is the wrong word.
It's the community
I've fostered, really.
Those who want more out of life
tend to seek a
guide of some sort
and well, that's
where I come in.
I always thought people
who took yoga classes
just wanted to get in shape.
Well, you'd be surprised.
Though I do see many who believe
that's why they're there.
It doesn't take
them long to realize
there is so much
more to be gained.
What are our bodies but
vehicles for our souls.
I mean, we really just need them
to get from point A to point B.
How f*cking old am I, I
can't even tie my own shoe.
Thank you for hanging back.
Oh no, thank you
for the opportunity.
I know this is so annoying.
Like, this was supposed to
be like a party weekend.
I was specifically told
that I could be drunk
for two days straight.
And here I am, like
hiking outside.
Honestly, this much fresh
air will make me throw up.
I know it's the worst.
Emily's just, I hate how
she's being around her.
You know, we never get to
spend a weekend together
and she's just
making it terrible.
Kali, can I ask you something?
It's a little embarrassing, but
do you remember me?
I did one of your soul chats.
We talked about my engagement
and you burned some money.
Yeah, the soul chat's
are meant to be
strictly confidential,
and as such, I willed
myself to forget them
as soon as they are done.
But maybe I remember
you just a little.
Do I wish I was reping people
doing something more important.
Yes, but I don't know, it's
fun and I'm good at it.
It's, I dunno, works for now.
That's nice.
Dar, I know you hate
the hosting gig.
Okay, but it's not forever,
okay, you won't be pigeonholed.
Just think of this as
like a jumping off point
for something way more rad.
Thanks Leggy.
I know this weekend is awful.
- It's so awful.
- Terrible.
She's crazy, right?
I think it's.
Yeah, it's terrible.
Let's begin.
Close your eyes.
Check in with your mind.
Check in with your breath.
Is there something that
is distracting you?
Acknowledge that thought
and wave it goodbye.
Put your hand on your chest.
This is yours.
This is your heart.
It is precious,
but it is temporary.
When you listen too
long to another's,
yours becomes obsolete.
You sacrifice yourself
and lose all who you are.
And then what is
the point in living?
That is supposed to
be on airplane mode.
Sorry.
I actually need to take this.
Oh, we are not done here.
Oh, you can keep
going on without me.
Hey, I told you I'm in Vermont
for my girlfriend's
bachelorette weekend.
No, yeah, no I told you.
That was this weekend too?
I completely forgotten.
Hey, Kels, I can't,
I can't really hear.
I'm losing, I'll call you,
I'll call you when I
get back to the city.
Didn't mean to interrupt.
That's okay.
It's all right, I let myself in?
Yes, of course.
What's the situation
with the reception here?
It's pretty terrible.
It's not terrible.
sh**t actually,
maybe the line's down.
Great.
I heard the others outside.
Oh yeah, they're
doing a meditation.
I think they're about to
rip each other's hearts out
like in that,
"Indiana Jones" movie.
Oh.
Sounds like a violent
bachelorette weekend.
Yeah, it might be.
Hey guys.
Dar, they're about to
start another yoga class.
If you wanna join in.
Not a chance.
Where are you going?
I am truly not sure if
there's enough alcohol
for me to get
through this weekend,
but I'm gonna go find out.
Okay, sounds good.
I should go fix this light bulb.
Travis, can we use the
fire pit that's up there?
Oh, sure.
I could come by around the
dark and get it going for you.
Okay.
Yeah, well then we'll
see you after dark.
One's life is not measured
by the number of days,
but by the number of breaths.
Hey.
Thanks for helping
out this weekend.
Kali, you posted a video
81 and a half days ago
that really, really spoke to me
when you talked about
how to enter a field
with peaceful intent.
And I wanted you
to know you were.
And I want you to know,
a couple weeks ago
I actually entered
a parking lot,
but like, I got out.
That was me doing it.
You know, that was
really, you know, I just,
hey, have you tried Oh Crap?
I don't know, I just feel like,
and I mean, it's just, I
mean, it was a total accident.
You know, had to
go to the bathroom.
I fell in the feces
and it would just,
I just think.
The pores felt open.
And your pores,
well, they're open,
but I mean, like, Oh Crap.
Your heart is so
open and your pores,
I mean, your skin's amazing,
but your pore you, you just,
I just really need a
moment of solitude.
Hey, it's okay.
Sorry.
It's fine.
She just needed a second.
It's not anything personal.
You're good.
- You're good.
- She didn't like it.
She doesn't like it.
No, she does.
Yeah, she hasn't even tried it.
You're good.
Yeah.
How was yoga?
Oh, don't say it like that.
Like what?
Nevermind.
How was your urgent phone call?
Ah, just work stuff, no biggie.
Why are you so uncomfortable
with being honest?
I'm not uncomfortable.
Did Kali say something?
Did that phone call
have anything to do with
why you didn't think you'd
make it this weekend?
Em, I said, I don't
wanna talk about it.
If you don't express
yourself, it'll just fester.
Yeah, ditto.
Breathe in and breathe out.
Thank you for trusting me
with your practice today.
And as you go out into
the world, ask yourself,
"Who am I?"
Drop a comment below.
Love to yourself and to others.
Namaste.
This is good.
It's good energy.
We're we're gonna eat
this delicious meal
made by our good buddy.
Oh, no thank you, I'm fasting.
Yep, okay.
I can't imagine it's gonna
be that fun to watch us eat.
I'm very disciplined.
Of course.
Well, shall I?
- Well.
- Yeah, let's cheers.
There are good ships
and cruise ships
and ships that sail to sea.
And the best ships
are friendships,
- some may be all we need.
- And cheers to Kali
for being here and
being so amazing.
Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
Sure.
Okay, very, yeah.
So, I made the salad
even though I hate salad.
I'm so excited for wings.
Thank you.
Leggy, is this like a recipe
you followed from a cookbook or?
I made it up.
Oh.
I once ate chicken
wings on a first date
and everyone thought that
was like really brave
and I just did it.
- Wow.
- That is.
I don't know about brave.
It's a bold choice.
Would you go on a
second date with me?
I would definitely go on
a second date with you.
Wow, that is, did
you crack that bone?
All right, I'm gonna try it.
It's okay.
It's just, actually, can
I have the green beans?
That's asparagus.
Oh, asparagus.
Oh, don't sniff it.
Don't want you
getting all tempted.
- So fleshy?
- Who wanted that?
Excuse me.
Guess she wasn't
that disciplined.
I mean, what the
f*ck was that about?
Because fasting is also not fun.
So I think the fire's
just about set.
Looks pretty.
It's beautiful.
That's about it.
You ladies have
a good night now.
Okay, thank you, Travis.
Good night.
You should stay.
I don't mind, it's rough.
Shut up, just
stay, it's a party.
Stay, stay.
Does anyone play guitar?
Ooh.
Kali, Kali right.
I can play the sitar.
Oh, sitar shucks, we
left that at home.
Okay, guitar, Travis?
Sorta.
Oh my gosh play, "MMMBop."
Oh, "Orion" by Metallica.
Guys, what do you think?
"Orion" by Metallica, or?
Play us "Run the Game."
Wow, we are really winning.
Can you play any Dylan?
Legally, no, but
What about, "Neutral
Milk Hotel?"
What?
"Neutral Milk Hotel?"
What's so weird about that?
Well, it's a little serious
- and shitty.
- It's dark.
Leg, I mean, come on,
it's just a little weird
you wanna listen to the
song about Anne Frank
at my bachelorette weekend?
Well, why?
It's a little depressing.
Yeah, it's just like.
Yeah, we just, we love you
for who you are inside.
And who is that?
Oh, you're the one who reminds
us to have a good time.
Cool.
That's all you guys ever
really think of me, right.
The party girl who used to boof
at the sick, high rush parties.
- It was awesome, yeah.
- Yeah.
What?
I am so sick and tired of you
guys not taking me seriously.
Like, you know, I have
like a very legit job now
and I'm doing really well.
And I have to be organized
and responsible and clever
and I'm really f*cking
good at it.
You are.
And I'm sorry, I
just wanted to have
a fun weekend with my friends.
All right.
Okay.
I'm gonna go inside.
- Leggy.
- What?
No.
- Like he'll play it.
- Yeah.
Leggy we can play it.
It'll be like really mellow.
Actually, I think I
figured out the chords
to that one Dylan song.
We should probably go
make sure Allegra's okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, definitely.
Hey, can we try
this again tomorrow?
I'll see you at dark?
Yeah, I'll see you Travis.
Ugh.
It looks like it's just you.
I guess I'll go f*ck myself.
Your body is made
up of 80% of water.
We should only be ingesting
water-based molecules
and plant-based proteins.
Having meat is m*rder.
Would you eat your family dog?
No.
Would you take your
family's animals
and brutally turn them inside
out, shredding them to pieces,
ripping off their hair,
taking out their insides
and serving it on a plate?
Is just the same as if
you were to eat a human.
Or your cat, would you rip
the heart out of your pet cat?
Would you eat it?
But you sat there and
you ate that chicken?
Never thought of it
like that before.
Maybe I'll go vegan.
Well, as much as I love
being traumatically shamed
for eating meat,
I'm gonna go to bed.
Leggy, I'm really sorry about
teasing you from before.
It's okay.
Yeah, we're so sorry.
And we know you're
not a party girl
like a hundred
percent of the time.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
God, I forgot how
sensitive she can be.
Aw, it's been a while
since we've all been
together like this.
You know, I think tensions,
emotions are just running high.
Yeah.
No, you're right, Dar.
But I'm just surprised you
went to bed so early though.
That's crazy.
I don't know, it's kinda late.
Maybe we should all go to
bed and just get some sleep.
Fresh start tomorrow.
I'm not tired.
Me neither.
Yeah, Dar, you just go
on and go to bed, yeah.
I can stay up with you guys.
No, no, I mean you should get
some really good sleep tonight.
And like you were saying,
emotions are running so high
and yeah, go on.
Okay.
Don't stay up too late.
Okay wait, so beeswax.
Mm-hmm.
That's something like
absolutely stay away from.
That's m*rder.
She's got a style that
most girls would k*ll for
A delicious disaster
The kind of girl that
most guys would dream of
Too good to go after
Ain't gotta try,
she's a natural
She's stays so balanced
Well time will tell
If you try to cut her down
She's got the higher ground
They're all just jealous
of how she does it
She's got a style
that most girls
Never have I ever not
let someone do cocaine
out of my butt crack.
- So you have.
- Did, done.
Like I haven't not let them.
So every time they
have to do cocaine?
Just wanted to tell us
that you let someone.
I just wanted to tell you guys.
Okay, so we all drink.
Why do we all drink?
I didn't do that.
The story of me doing Coke.
Well drink.
Okay.
You got me.
What the hell?
Was that a car door?
Leggy did say she
had a surprise.
No, that's never good.
- No.
- Yeah,
I think it's really good.
I wonder what it is.
You guys, there's
like a cop here.
I got a package,
I got a package for
a woman named Emily.
Is that you, Gucci queen?
No, this is really embarrassing.
I am engaged to be
married next week.
Gucci queen.
Ooh.
This is a pretty big package.
You sure you can handle this?
Yes.
She'll be fine.
Do it, do it, I dare you.
- I told you no strippers.
- Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
Boom.
Oh, come here.
Oh yeah, it's
really hot in here.
Oh, no, no.
What is going on here?
I know you've been trying
to stamp on the party,
but the party train
is full steam ahead.
I'm the captain.
Chugga, chugga choo, choo.
You know you can touch
it, you can look at it.
Chugga, chugga, chugga.
It's just a little harmless fun.
Fun?
This is supposed
to be fun for you?
Okay b*tch, you're
really k*lling the vibe.
You all act like
you wanna be better,
but you don't really, you
just do whatever you wanna do,
no consequences.
God, this is a
bachelorette weekend.
You should have known
what you signed up for.
All you do is sit around
and just like judge us
and make us feel like
we're not good enough,
and we are.
You're not.
- Go, go, go, go, go.
- Go, go, go, go, go.
Drink it, touch it.
Hey, can I sit?
Go for it.
They're not coming out here?
Nope.
They've got enough
entertainment up in there.
I've never met my
followers in real life.
Did you think they're
all like this?
Like what?
Basic b*tches.
They're not basic b*tches,
they're interesting.
One of them got a pass now.
Travis, they're repulsed by you.
- Not Darcy.
- Don't Travis.
What?
Oh, you stay away
from her, Travis.
I didn't tell her nothing.
Don't get any closer, I mean it.
They got that guy up there?
They sure do.
Why?
Does that bother you?
I don't like it.
It's filthy.
Those women, they're disgusting.
Disgusting.
Oh, Travis,
you said it yourself,
they're up there having
the time or their lives,
paying someone to act
interested in them.
Darcy's kind of the
worst of all, huh.
I think I saw him ratting
on her before I left.
Why did you bring them
to the house anyway?
What do you need my help with?
I asked you here to help me
and I know you'll and
I need you, all right.
You think they even know
that I'm your brother?
Oh, don't worry
about it, Travis.
It's just better that way.
Which one of them's got
them brass knuckles?
Oh my God.
Okay.
Hey, get up.
Okay.
Okay.
- Wake up.
- No.
No, f*ck off.
It's early, stop
Please.
No, shut up.
Okay.
I will do it.
Get up.
Leggy, where's the guy?
Travis?
f*ck if I know.
No, the stripper guy.
He has a name.
What's his name?
I don't know.
Classy.
Shut up.
No, you shut up.
Where is he?
I don't know.
He probably went back from
wherever he came from.
Yeah.
Well his car is still here.
Car is still here?
Yes, it's in the driveway.
He's in the driveway.
Did I miss the sun salutation?
All right, everybody,
we're getting up.
We are searching the house.
We are gonna find this stripper.
We gotta search the whole house.
Emily you watch way too
many of those crime shows.
Thank God someone does.
And if there's one
thing I've learned
is that people wait too
long to do something.
And if your gut tells
you something's wrong,
you have to act on it.
But what if yours is the
only gut with a problem?
I don't think she is the
only gut with a problem.
Okay, ew, disgusting.
Don't make me pull
the bride card.
No, well what about Kali?
- She pulled the card.
- Get up.
Where is that b*tch?
- Okay, please.
- She's probably meditating.
Okay, be careful.
Text me when you get there.
I'm so tired right now.
I know, it feels like
they really need you.
I know.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
I can do this.
You should go.
Who are you?
No, not in there?
Next go.
Not in here.
All right.
Kali, are you in here?
- I'm going in.
- Calm down.
I'm going in.
Okay, well no, let's just
maybe knock one more time.
Kali, Kali, Kali, Kali, Kali.
f*ck it.
- Ooh.
- Please don't touch anything.
- Okay.
- Love it.
Should we check the closet?
No, I'm not a psychopath.
What do you think
she does with this?
Just, oh my God.
Put that down.
I don't want her to see it.
Whoa.
- That is a.
- By all means,
please continue to go
in my personal space.
Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Kali,
we're just, we're here
because the stripper from
last night is missing.
Missing.
Yeah.
So his car is here,
but he is gone.
And on the, "Chilling
Killings of Duluth"
there was this guy, he was
a prost*tute and he also.
That's not the same thing.
Okay, he was a prost*tute and
he went missing the next day
and he didn't return.
And it just like has
really freaked out
- and we trying to figure out.
- Maybe we can do
some meditation.
Yeah, that'll find him.
Okay.
Okay.
So sorry.
I really am so sorry.
I told her not to touch it.
Basic b*tches.
I feel like absolute sh*t.
Yeah, you're not
looking that great.
Did she make you
check the closets?
No, I'm not a psychopath.
Thank you.
Okay ladies, listen up.
We have a missing
person on our hands.
Yep and we gotta
think of something.
We have to think of something.
Okay.
I have an idea.
- What?
- I have an idea.
Share it with us.
Do you have pictures of him?
Yeah, on Craigslist.
Great, great.
So what if we made
lost stripper posters
and we hung them around?
What?
Wait, you're not joking?
No.
- Why are you marketing?
- Oh my gosh.
I feel like people would
think that was a joke?
No.
And make him look legit.
Honey, I'm not gonna
knock a good idea.
But that's not a good idea.
What if he's like in the woods,
we're gonna like hang
him in the woods?
He probably just went
out for a nice stroll
and he'll be back.
He'll be back.
Yeah.
And you all were flying
high as a kite last night.
So you're not one to talk.
You have a literal d*ck
on your face right now.
Guys, there's a potential
kidnapper on the loose.
- Do I have a d*ck on my face?
- Emily,
that doesn't even
make any sense.
Yeah, you do, it's fine.
We have to do something, okay.
We can't just let poor, what's
his name, out in the woods,
maybe by himself
getting chopped up.
What you wanna
do, call the cops?
Yeah, I already did.
- What?
- What?
And fun fact about that is that
even though the
service sucks out here,
a call to 911 without signal
is routed as a distress call.
To the nearest tower.
You are actually insane.
We have too much stuff here.
We can't have a cops show up.
Okay, well maybe you
should have thought of that
before bringing drugs to
my bachelorette weekend.
I didn't bring drugs.
All right Emily,
just call them back
and tell them we
don't need them okay.
Just call them back.
f*ck, hide the drugs.
Hello ma'am.
We got a call about
a missing person.
Yes, we're looking for a cop.
Well, good news.
I am a cop.
Not a cop, a UPS employee.
- Right.
- What?
Technically I think I
think more of a mailman.
Really?
- He was.
- Okay, okay.
Let's play a little game
called want of you speak.
Who placed the call?
That would be me.
So officer, we met a man last
night who's now gone missing?
How long has this man you
met last night gone missing?
Well, somewhere between
the hours of four and six.
Mm, somewhere between the
hours of four and six,
every other Tuesday,
my wife goes missing,
and she's not really
missing, she's at a hotel
and the parking lot
smells like urine
and the swimming pool
smells like second chances,
so I'm told.
Do you think he's there?
What?
Look, here's the way it rolls
in a small town like this.
I need 48 hours,
that's two days,
see, we have an
education system too,
to report anyone as
a missing person.
So gimme two days and
then I can do my job.
That just seems like
a really long time.
Yeah, I mean.
And he's gone now and you know.
- Yeah officer, his car.
- Look, I can
take down some information.
All right, let's do that
and then I'll file a Missing
Person Report two days.
But something you should know
is that his car is
here but he is not.
And that's the thing.
So, that's why
we're freaked out.
Yeah, his car's here.
- Okay.
- Can't find him.
Again, you know what?
I'll take some information
down, but I still need two days.
So just gimme some facts.
It's Bobby.
- Bobby.
- Bobby.
- I don't think that's right.
- Peter.
- Peter.
- Peter.
Peter, it's Peter.
Bobby, Peter.
Yeah I knew it is one
of the Farley brothers.
A stage name.
- Okay.
- What's a stage name?
He's about like this tall.
- About like.
- Shorter than you.
Six and a half inches.
Yeah, pretty average.
Completely hairless.
Like completely.
He was, he was totally.
Like his whole body was.
This is a personal
choice thing going on.
- Okay.
- You know.
His was too.
So yeah.
I'll go look around
for this Bobby, Peter
with no chest hair.
This is him.
Jesus Christ.
Ladies, does anybody go
to church in this group?
That was a lot of house.
It's okay, Emily.
He probably just wandered off.
I'm sure he'll come back.
I don't know.
Maybe Emily's right, I
figure this is foul play.
Thank you.
Oh my God, do you think
someone hurt Bobby?
Peter.
Oh, thank God, do you
think someone hurt Peter?
I mean, I didn't.
But who do we know
who's in the vicinity,
who clearly didn't
like Peter last night?
Wait, did Travis
even meet Peter?
No, no, not Travis, Kali.
Dar, I think that
chick is crazy too.
But I let it slip to Travis
last night that I got a stripper
and he seemed really
weird about it.
Oh my God.
Okay, there's no way
that you think Kali
did something to Peter.
That is, that's
absolutely insane.
What?
Yes, I can.
Didn't you hear what
she said last night?
"You should all be
ashamed of yourself."
Darcy, why do you hate her?
I don't hate her. I
just don't love her.
You've been so
blind this weekend
because you're
obsessed with her.
Okay Darcy, I admit she's not
what I thought she'd be either.
But you've been negative about
her ever since we got here.
- Yes, yes.
- Wow, Dar.
This is like the one weekend
we get to spend with her.
I haven't spent time
with you in over a year.
And you keep putting the
stranger above everything else.
She's not a stranger.
Oh, she's not?
- No.
- She is, Emily.
My God, just because
you spend all your time
consuming her on Instagram,
does it mean you
actually know her?
I think Lulu's right,
I think you are jealous.
- Oh, I'm jealous.
- Yeah.
I'm so jealous.
But not because of
our relationship,
but because of how
vulnerable she is
- and how authentic she is.
- Oh yeah.
And you know what?
Guess what, Darcy?
No one made you do
that dumb cooking show.
Oh, there it is.
There it is.
Screw you Emily.
And the two of you staying
neutral isn't neutral.
f*ck off.
Assholes.
I was about to jump in.
Whatever.
It's ridiculous.
So typical.
Is everything okay?
- It's fine.
- No, everything's not okay.
Our best friend just ran away.
And my potential
soulmate is missing.
Potential soulmate?
Anybody can be a
potential soulmate, okay.
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
Yeah, it's fine, it's fine.
She just had to have a moment.
But we're gonna get through it.
You will.
Well, perhaps someone
should go off to her.
Don't pretend like you
care about Darcy now.
Oh, I'm so sorry if I
was upset last night.
But it does make me
sick to my stomach
thinking someone may have
gotten hurt on this trip.
Guys, whose bag is this?
This wasn't here before.
I don't know.
- Yeah.
- Am I crazy?
I don't know, is it Peter's bag?
I don't know.
- Did he have a bag on him?
- I don't know.
- Open it.
- Okay.
Oh God what is that?
Oh God, that is blood.
Oh my God, I knew it, I knew it.
This is a real crime scene sh*t.
Stop talking about that show.
Okay, okay.
We have to call the police now.
And tell them what?
There's cleaning
supplies in our Airbnb.
No, no, no, no.
It's like what Dino
said about the bears.
Maybe it's like that.
Dino, what?
Okay, somebody has
gotta go after Darcy.
Okay.
Right.
So some of us should go and
some should stay behind.
Oh my God.
- Okay, okay.
- Okay.
I will stay.
I would like to purify the
air after last night's filth.
Right.
Go.
Okay, okay, we'll go.
I'll stay behind
and wait for Darcy
while Boulevard here
shakes her crystals around.
Funny.
Where'd she go?
I don't know, but we
should probably split up.
No, no, no, no, no,
we can't all die.
Listen, listen, please listen.
You go that way.
I'll go that way.
- We'll find her quicker.
- No, no, no, no.
Would you feel better
if you'd something
to protect yourself?
Maybe.
Okay.
Okay.
Go grab the tire iron.
Oh, it's in the trunk.
Okay, okay, it's
about five o'clock.
If you don't find
her in a half hour,
- come back to the house, okay.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
You shouldn't be back here.
I just had to get
outta the house.
Did something happen?
Yeah, my friends are morons.
We've been best friends
for like 10 years
and they're choosing this girl
who's basically a
cult leader over me,
even though she's
clearly deranged
and probably kidnapped
the stripper or something.
Oh yeah, and the
stripper is missing.
Are you okay?
I'm pissed.
I don't understand why they
keep believing her bullshit.
She's just so fake.
That really bothers you.
You live out here, right?
Back that way a little bit.
It's kind of freezing.
Do you think we could go?
I wanna show you
something first.
Where are they?
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
So beautiful.
You're so warm.
You must be real.
They think I'm jealous of Kali.
Are you?
No.
I don't know.
Maybe a little bit.
But I wouldn't accuse
someone of foul play
just out of jealousy.
I mean, people even k*ll
sometimes out of jealousy.
But you shouldn't
be jealous of her.
I guess.
I don't know, it's not
even that, it's just like.
What's wrong?
What are you doing?
I'm,
I'm.
Oh, okay.
What am I doing?
I'm gonna, I'm,
thank you, I'm gonna get
back to my friends, thanks.
Don't go back.
What are you talking about?
I can give you a ride somewhere,
just please don't.
Okay, you're kind
of freaking me out.
- Go back to the house.
- Do you know something?
What are you saying?
You need to leave.
- Just go.
- Don't touch me.
- Don't touch me.
- Please, please, please.
Okay, okay.
Okay, okay.
Okay, okay.
Oh my God, you're alive.
Of course I'm alive.
Right, I knew you were,
but Emily was freaking out
and then we found this stuff
- in the house and.
- Like stuff?
Yeah, like stuff.
Hey, you mind if I
come back in now?
Yeah, why?
Your friend Kali told me I
had to leave this morning.
She said go take a hike.
I went and hiked through
the woods all day,
but she said I could
come back at night, so.
I need to figure out
what's going on, I'm sorry.
Tell Allegra I said, hey.
Allegra.
Oh yeah, f*ck this.
It's just a little
bit of harness fun.
Darcy.
Emily.
Allegra.
Hello.
Where are you guys?
Oh, oh, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, Leggy.
Leg, Leg, Leggy, it's okay.
It's okay Leggy.
It's okay.
Lu.
Emily.
Oh.
Oh f*ck.
Oh f*ck.
Oh Lu, no, no, no Lu.
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry,
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Lulu.
It's okay, it's okay, Lu, Lu,
I need you to get up right now.
I need you to get
up right now okay.
I need you to get up lulu.
- We need to go.
- Hello Darcy.
You.
I knew it.
Everyone said it was Travis.
Guess my brother wasn't
worthless after all.
Your brother?
Listen, I gotta make this quick.
f*ck.
Please.
What did you do?
Oh, come on, I
couldn't save just one
because you liked her.
Darcy.
Give it up Trav, she's dead.
Darcy.
Jesus Travis, help
me move the body
before the other ones get back.
Oh, Travy.
You don't wanna do this.
Release me.
I don't need you.
You need me.
Oh my God.
Wait, wait, wait.
Oh my God.
I just hope Kali's okay.
She was so freaked out.
I just wish she would
reach out, you know,
like we went through
this thing together and,
I dunno.
And maybe she will reach
out in her own time.
Some people just need more time.
Yeah, I know.
I just hope she's okay.
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