[orchestra warming up]
[narrator] Okay, everybody,
here we go. You guys ready?
All right.
And a one, and a two, and a...
[band plays sauntering tune]
-No, no, no. Guys, guys, guys.
-[band stops abruptly]
Too sad.
We'll get to that later.
Give me something
that says more introduction.
[band playing jovial music]
-Well, hey there,
boys and girls.
-Hi.
Today, we're kicking off
the N-Ice Festival. Get it?
We all know that every year,
Santa brings presents to
everyone who's on the nice list.
And if you're on
the naughty list,
it doesn't go great for you,
because you probably
deserve it.
The drummer knows
what I'm talking about.
-You want to hear
a story of adventure?
-Yeah.
-A story of dangers, bears,
and wolves, and snowmen?
-Yeah.
And personality disorders,
and depression, anxiety,
and narcissism?
What?
Well, you've come
to the right place,
and it all starts
with a couple of snowmen.
Is this the best band
we could come up with?
I have faith they'll hit
the right note eventually.
Oh, yeah!
You ready to do this, buddy?
Let's rock this N-Ice Festival.
Even if we have to be
a little mean to do it?
Uh...
What if we just
roast them a little?
Oh, you mean like my dad does?
[triumphant fanfare plays]
[squawking]
Best sticks in the forest.
We've got sticks over here.
We've got big sticks.
Gosh, you can get these
anywhere.
Ooh, I'll take three
of the bark-less willows.
They literally grow on trees.
It's Christmas time!
[cheering]
We're gonna see some
of the best athletes
in the whole wide,
very narrow section
of this part of the world,
that you have ever seen.
What do we have first, Lowell?
First, we have Fox on skis.
Let's go, Fox.
The crowd is ready
for something spectacular.
[Rory] Or crash.
That'd be fun to see, too.
Ah, don't listen to that guy.
Just remember your training.
Don't worry, coach. I won't.
Won't? To which parts?
[Rory] Oh, boy. This genius
is going down backwards.
[Lowell] Choice bold.
[Rory] He's picking up speed.
[Lowell] And now we're airborne.
[Rory] Sweet move!
[screams]
-[Lowell] The skis go flying!
-Holy cow!
Have you ever seen anything
like that before, Lowell,
in your whole life?
Never in all this winter, Rory,
have I seen such an amazing
display of athleticism.
[Rory] Coupled
with sheer ineptitude.
Will we ever see such a thing
in our lifetime again?
Oh, I certainly hope so.
-What's next?
-Figure skating.
All I can say is,
they better be good.
Yeah, this is not good.
That seems to be a naughty
or nice list,
or his wife gave him
a long shopping list before
he left the house today.
[Rory] Yeah, I'm concerned
about the fence.
Let's check in with him.
Oh! He goes down.
Oh, this is turning out
to be incredibly dangerous.
What's next?
The reigning champ
is back to defend his title.
[Rory] So, I mean, what is he?
Is he like a person? A toy?
Some kind of animal?
[Lowell] Nobody knows,
except that he's the champ.
And they're off.
[Rory] Everyone
except the champ.
It looks like
the champ is choking.
Ooh, the champ chokes.
[Lowell] Yeah, it looks like
he's having problems
going forward.
What's that all about?
[upbeat synth music playing]
Uh, okay, I can't even
with this. Ski dancing.
Look, it sort of makes you
appreciate the figure skating
ferret from before, huh?
[Lowell] It's not that bad,
well, for those of you
trying to kick-start a yawn,
this is a performance for you.
Why don't you guys go home?
Well, wish
I could there, partner,
but we have to stay here
and watch your crazy
little sports.
At least this is finally over.
-[dramatic synth sting plays]
-Uh, ah, maybe not. One more?
[dramatic synth sting plays]
Two more? Really making
a meal out of it here, huh?
Okay, three finishes,
that's too many!
[dramatic synth sting plays]
Ugh! No. Uh-uh.
You better not.
You better not do one more.
Nuh-uh.
Ohh! Okay, I've had
just about enough of this.
I need a snow cone break.
Um, excuse me. Do you think
you could tone it down?
Holy cow,
don't sneak up on us like that,
you sneaky little ferret.
It's just that I think
you're upsetting everyone
with how not nice you are being.
-Whoa, whoa.
-Whoa, buddy.
That's quite an accusation
around these here parts, buddy.
Yeah, relax.
We're just doing our job.
We treat everyone fairly.
Look, if your sport
is ridiculous,
we have to make jokes.
I mean, look at it.
The curling team is up next.
We couldn't live with ourselves
if we didn't knock
those goofy donks down a notch.
See? That's what
I'm talking about.
It's not nice
to call them donks.
Yeah, well, you're not being
very nice for bugging us
during our snow cone break.
So why don't you go find
a wolf and get eaten?
Yeah, well,
you're gonna eat a wolf.
-Not nice!
-I said get eaten, sir.
[blows raspberry]
[blows raspberry]
[Rory blows raspberry]
Mmm, very naughty.
-Two Number 1's!
-Two Number 1's, coming up.
Two Number 1's, guys!
Uh, hey, Rory,
you don't think we're,
you know, pushing it too hard?
Nah, man.
It's like you said,
the people love us.
Hey, okay, say no more.
That's good enough for me, man.
We've got a great life,
a great job,
great people around us.
And once I get my snow cone,
I am set, brother.
Yep, smooth sailing
from here on out.
Okay, man.
I feel like you're,
you know, foreshadowing.
-What do you mean?
-Just relax with all this
"everything's great,
life's great, we got nothing
to learn" business.
-I didn't say
we don't have anything to learn.
-Are you sure?
I thought you said "great life,
great job,
nothing to learn."
-No.
-No?
Where did I--
Well, someone said it.
I don't want to...
Well, now it sounds like
you're setting us up
for some kind of lesson,
but I don't think
we have anything to learn.
Oh, no, wait.
I just said it that time.
Look at me foreshadowing.
[clears throat]
Here's your
cone de neige. Enjoy.
Listen, Lowell.
You're embarrassing me
in front of all these people.
I don't need to learn anything.
I'm fine.
Why is it that today
of all days, people are
telling me what to do?
If there's something
you need to learn,
be my guest.
Learn it, pal,
but keep me out of it.
So I'm gonna take
my snow cone and go,
and I'll see you
back at the booth.
Your friend's
a bit of a narcissist, eh?
Gosh, I don't know.
There's a lot of themes
right now.
I'm just not sure
which thread to pull.
Oh, well,
we'll see what happens.
All right then.
[jovial music playing]
[Lowell] Yellow snow cones.
The only yellow snow
that you should eat.
[Rory] All right,
what do we got here? Curling?
Put your hooves, paws,
and sticks together for curling!
They try real hard, people.
This isn't cannibalism, is it?
The real victory here
is that this is categorized
as a sport
and not just an activity to keep
children occupied. [laughs]
And no one's laughing.
Get over yourselves, people.
It's just a joke.
Hey, speaking of,
do you know the difference
between a moose, a caribou,
a reindeer, and an elk?
No.
-Okay.
-Yeah.
Well, anyways, curling.
Curling is so freaking exciting.
You got things
bonking into other things.
You got people scrubbing ice
with long sandpaper mops
and a sliding guy.
What more could you ask for?
Well, another yellow snow cone.
Stop by Lemonade's
Yellow Snow Cone booth
and ask for a Number 1.
[Rory] Another round
of ice shuffleboard
as Grandma Moose
pushes it down the ice.
Gosh, that looks painful.
He starts off in a lunge.
The pineapple upside-down cake.
Into the side-angled plank.
He's really blasting
his core on that one.
-The sleeper.
-The slapper.
The slipper.
And kiss the baby goodnight.
[Lowell] So gentle.
Rub-a-dub-dub,
the next two start to scrub.
Gosh, they look like they're
trying to pass a kidney stone.
[Lowell] And now
the coup de grace.
Everyone watches
with bated breath.
[all gasp]
[all gasp]
[clinks softly]
[cheering]
Well, folks, that does it
for another day of curling,
I guess.
That was just the first round.
What? How many rounds
do we have?
-Ten.
-Ten?
We have to watch these yahoos
do this ten more times?
Nine.
-Nine times?
-Nine times.
Why?
We already know
who the losers will be.
Everyone who has to watch this.
Can't we add something
interesting in there,
like a sword fight?
I'd love to watch these donks
sword-fight each other.
Don't glare at me like that.
Pick up your swiffers
and sword-fight each other.
Oh, they're gonna do it?
Wow, didn't expect that.
Oh, no, no, no, not us.
Sword-fight
each other, geniuses.
What are you doing?
This isn't regulation.
Uh, I think it's time for us
to go, man.
Uh, much love to all the fans.
So glad we could entertain you.
Take her easy.
Don't forget
your lemonade snow cones,
the yellowest snow
you'd ever want.
And stop by
the Barkless Willow booth.
I hear they're amazing.
-[Rory] Huh?
-[tense music playing]
[Rory] Huh.
Well, maybe you want
to say all that
to our face there, hoser.
I don't know if I want
to say it to your face.
You elk are bigger
when you're this close.
-[moose] Uh, moose.
-What stuff?
About how we all look the same.
I mean, come on.
Or about how dumb
all our sports are, eh?
Or maybe you'd like to insult
our intelligence more,
just because we don't know
we're going down
the ski jump backwards.
You guys are bullies.
You and your little mob
are the ones getting physical.
You're the bullies.
No, we're not.
You are the bullies.
Bullies, bullies, bullies.
-Back up out of my face, kitten.
-Hey, not cool!
-Oh, you wanna dance, sugarplum?
-Oh, yeah? Let's dance.
Let's dance!
[ferret] Like it?
[groaning]
Hey, hey, hey! Let me go!
You guys
are deceptively strong.
Naughty list! Naughty list!
Naughty list!
Naughty list!
[cracking]
I mean, who puts a bridge
over the ice, though?
Naughty list! Naughty list!
Get your hands off my buttons!
Chill out, no! Not his nose!
Come on, have some etiquette.
Use a fork!
[Lowell] Rory. Rory. Wake up.
Rory, Rory. Rory, wake up, man.
-Lowell. Lowell, is that you?
-Yeah, it's me, man.
Oh, thank goodness. [groans]
You've been asleep
for a long time, pal.
Oh, I had
a terrible dream, Lowell.
It's okay now, buddy.
We were forced to watch cartoons
do ridiculous winter sports
at a festival
that overly fetishized
and punned Santa's nice list,
and then we were
accused of being
on Santa's naughty list.
[chuckles]
I know it sounds crazy,
and then all these
dopey athletes
threw us out of our community
that we loved,
and where they adored us
for our charm and wit
and good looks
and superior intellect.
They just threw us out
like garbage.
Oh, what a relief.
Well, you're
all right now, buddy.
-Out here in the wild.
-In the wild?
[echoing]
I can't be in the wild.
I'm an inside pet.
I'm domesticated.
[growling]
[twangy guitar music playing]
-What's wrong, buddy?
-No. No, this is not happening.
I don't know.
You know,
it's kind of nice out here.
Lots of fresh air.
There's barkless willow
everywhere.
That stuff's expensive.
Why does everything
smell so weird?
Like, less carroty.
I don't understand.
Oh, well, they kept our noses,
but I replaced them with these.
Huh? Ahh!
It's cool, man.
It's barkless willow.
No! I can't deal with this!
[yelling]
Oh, hey!
Quit your bellyaching
and stand up.
But I'm not supposed to be here.
Fall in.
Me? Me?
You want me
to stand over there, too?
To stand by him?
Goodness gracious,
sakes alive, you're soft.
-[giggles]
-[snarls]
Hey, you can't body-shame him
in a children's movie.
-[snarling]
-Are you gonna snarl
at everything we say?
I always thought wolverines
would be taller.
[snarls]
You're on the naughty list.
Get used to it,
you careless snowman.
If you want to survive out here,
you're gonna have to find
the biggest walkin',
talkin' son of a moose
and pick a fight.
-Huh?
-Why?
-[grunting]
-Uh-huh-huh-haw.
So these filthy animals
will know if you're a mice
or a man.
Whatever, man. Let's go, Lowell.
[sighs] Okay,
how do we get back?
The way back
ain't the way back.
[scoffs] That doesn't make
any sense.
[both snarling]
You might go back,
but you ain't going back.
Not with those people,
not with the naughty list
hanging over you.
Why? Who says? Who?
Who says
we're on the naughty list?
What does that little
ferret-faced ferret get to say
and decide that?
If you got thrown out here,
it's because it's official, pal.
And there's only one guy
who can change it for you.
Oh, I know this one.
Santa Claus.
[scoffs] Ha!
Guffaw! Give me a break
with all that Santa Claus talk.
How do we, uh...
You steal the naughty list.
-Steal the naughty list?
-Steal the naughty list?
Do the two of you hear
how dopey that sounds?
"Steal the naughty list."
That's like jogging and
smoking at the same time.
You'd be doing something naughty
to get off the naughty list.
And quite frankly,
I'm very uncomfortable
with how much the word "naughty"
is getting thrown around.
We're not a bunch of soccer moms
staying out past 11:30
after a Springsteen concert
on a school night.
You're a naughty one,
aren't you?
-Let's go, Lowell.
-Follow the frozen river.
Watch out for wolves
and don't get wet!
-[Rory] Lowell!
-Okay, I'll see you later.
That punch hurt.
I almost lost a button.
Then they set out
on their journey
to get what they wanted,
but will instead find out
what they need.
Good luck with
your Wizard of Oz rip-off
and subsequent lawsuit.
[jaunty music playing]
Rory, wait.
Where are you going?
Are you sure this is the way?
-I don't know, man.
-So, what are we doing?
Are we gonna go
get the naughty list?
What are we doing?
Still with that?
That is the bonkerest thing
I've heard all day,
and I watched ski dancing.
Ski dancing!
I like ski dancing.
Nope. We're not
doing this, either.
What?
Putting together
a Wizard of Oz
collection of misfits
and trudging through
the icy wilderness
to confront "Santy Claus"
and steal the naughty list.
I'd rather baptize a cat.
Well, maybe we don't steal it.
Maybe we just ask
to be taken off of it.
-I like that idea.
-No.
We're gonna march
right back in there
and demand our noses back
and demand we be reinstated.
I've already tried that.
[all] Naughty list!
Naughty list!
It didn't really work.
How else are we gonna get
our noses back, huh?
Grow carrots? In this climate?
Who cares about our noses?
Who cares?
If I don't have a nose,
what am I, huh?
What are you?
Just a pile of snow.
Like that guy.
Hey, guys, can I come too?
-[Rory] Get lost, Sneaky Doug.
-Okay.
Rory, we have to do
something different.
It's Christmas Eve Eve.
So that means we only have
two days to get off the list,
or else we're stuck out here
for another year.
We can't afford to get
thrown out over and over
and try to get back in.
We need to get down
this frozen river.
Okay. Okay. You know what?
I have half a mind
to follow this frozen river,
steal that list,
take it back to
that smug festival,
and really rub it in
all their smug faces, man.
-[Musk ox] Can I come, too?
-Sure.
From the bottom of my heart,
I really don't care
if you're walking
in the same direction
we're walking.
I say the more the merrier.
I mean, sure, it's cold
and we're lost,
but at least there's not
a bad guy gunning for us,
or wolves, or a blizzard,
or an avalanche
or stuff like that.
[ominous music playing]
So here's the deal.
You keep them out,
and I'll let you in.
You don't have to be
a beast in the wild anymore.
Deal?
All you have to do
is trip up these donks
until Christmas Day.
Slow them down.
Make them turn on each other.
It'll be easy.
Especially as
the group of donks
keeps adding more donks.
The more donks, the better.
[laughing and snorting]
[accordion music playing]
Well, out they are, folks,
and off they go,
headed to steal the naughty list
or get off the naughty list.
Good idea? We'll see.
Bad idea? Probably.
But that's the fun part,
ain't it, kids?
I mean, all they have to do
is follow the frozen river.
Piece of cake.
-[Rory] No!
-What?
There's, like,
a thousand ways to go.
I bet you anything
that wolverine tricked us.
-Wolverine!
-[wolf howling in distance]
[twangy guitar music playing]
[Rory] What's that?
[quirky music playing]
It can't be him.
-I think it's the champ.
-[Musk ox] He's skinny.
Uh, you're still here?
Who's the champ?
The fastest ice skater
you've ever seen.
[Rory] Oh, yeah,
isn't it that guy that choked
at the starting line earlier?
[chuckles]
He's the champ of choking.
-Choke champ, am I right?
-Here we go.
You're going to love this,
Musk ox.
He's not doing anything.
He's just getting his head
in the right place.
And...
[propulsive music playing]
[Lowell] He can skate
backwards okay.
Why can't he go forward?
Holy cow, this is hilarious.
[laughing]
Have you ever seen someone
choke so hard?
I tell you, Lowell.
Lowell.
Lowell!
Get your barkless willow
back here. What are you doing?
Uh, Mr. The Champ? Hello?
Excuse me, Mr. Champ?
Is everything okay?
We saw you out here by yourself.
Sorry, I don't understand.
Hey, pal. So we're lost.
Would you happen to know
the place that, uh...
you know, Santa is?
Do you, like, know
which direction it is?
Because there's, like,
a thousand ways we could go.
We don't know
which direction it goes, so...
Okay.
Well, would you be able to,
like, point us in the right
direction of where we should go?
Gracias. All right, g*ng.
We're back on. Let's go.
Rory, hold up.
Hey, man. I think
we should invite him along.
Why? We know the way now.
Well, I think he needs
the same thing that we do.
Hmm. That's actually brilliant.
We might need him again.
He's like a map.
Yo, Mr. Champ.
So we were thinking that
you should come with us.
It seems like
you have a problem.
And if you're out here,
that must mean that
you're on the naughty list.
No, you don't want to come,
or no, you're not
on the naughty list?
Oh, okay. Well, either way,
it seems you're having trouble
going forward.
Now, doesn't, like,
Santa grant wishes?
So I think if you come with us,
help us find our way,
then Santa will be able to help
you out with your problem.
-Santa grants wishes?
-Yeah, everyone knows that.
So, what do you say, Champ?
Want to come with us?
I thought he just gave gifts.
You ask for things,
he gives them to you.
Wish granted.
-Like, anything?
-Yeah, like, anything.
So, what do you say?
Okay, well,
just skate backwards.
You seem to be doing that okay.
The way back is going backwards
or something like that.
That's what the wolverine
told us.
[cheerful music playing]
So, like,
this wish-granting thing,
could he make us, like, a bird
or something like a--
Just for instance,
I don't want to be a bird,
but could he?
Sure. He, like, put us
on the naughty list,
so, like, it seems he could do
all kinds of crazy stuff.
-If, well, I wasn't an ox.
-Yeah, but you're--
[twigs crack nearby]
-Hey, what was that?
-[Rory] What?
Out in the woods,
I thought I heard something.
It could be anything out there.
Yeah, I guess
maybe it was nothing.
Or maybe an ax m*rder*r.
Jeez, take it
down a notch, weirdo.
Could have just been an acorn.
Try not to worry, pal,
it's too dark to see, anyways.
They could probably see us,
though because of the fire.
[whimpers]
I saw some eyes.
-Where?
-Out there. In the woods.
Ax m*rder*r eyes.
What?
I don't see anything.
-Hello?
-[twigs crack]
Huh!
Okay, this is starting to
freak me out a little.
What should we do?
Should we run?
-[twig cracks loudly]
-Okay, definitely heard that.
[all] Eyes!
[from the side of the mouth]
If we don't move,
they won't see us.
[from the side of the mouth]
If it sees we're not a threat,
maybe it'll leave.
Good plan.
Okay, everyone,
don't move a muscle.
-Don't even breathe.
-[Rory whimpering]
Especially don't talk.
Okay.
It's very important
that we don't talk.
If we talk, it could attack us.
All of us should
collectively not talk.
Let's agree to keep
all non-essential chatter
to an absolute minimum.
Agreed?
Mindy, do you agree?
Yes.
Rory, do you agree?
Uh, you're talking an awful lot
right now.
Rory, please,
choose your words carefully and
use as few words as possible.
Every word we use
could be our last.
So it stands to reason
that you should endeavor to use
a minimum amount
of concisely... words.
So it stands to reason
that you should endeavor to use
the minimum amount to concisely
communicate to the group.
Does that make sense?
Uh, yes.
Now, do you agree to use
the fewest amount of words
so that we can
stay safe and alive
in this uncertain predicament,
but still communicate
with each other?
Uh... I'm gonna make a move.
-Huh?
-I'm gonna go for it.
No.
Here we go.
Ready, Lowell?
No.
Ready, Mindy?
Uh, no.
Champ?
One, two...
-[screams]
-[roaring softly]
[roars softly]
[inhales deeply]
[continues roaring softly]
[straining]
[coughs gently]
[breathes heavily]
[continues roaring softly]
[shivering]
[from the side of the mouth]
What is happening?
I'm confused.
I think I melted myself.
Now I'm really confused.
[roars softly]
-Get out of here.
-[normal voice] Excuse me, bear?
Just-- Just get out of here.
Because as soon as I'm warm,
I'm just gonna--
I'm gonna eat you.
Of course I'm cold. [shivering]
-Wait, you can understand him?
-Oh, yeah, he's signing.
Oh, my Gandalf, an ice skater
that can't skate forward,
a musk ox that would obviously
rather be a bird,
and now a polar bear is cold.
-Don't you have blubber?
-Yeah I have blubber, so what?
-So skinny.
-Get lost.
Because I just want
to be left alone.
-Are you okay?
-I'm fine.
Now go,
or I'm gonna eat you, I guess.
You know, we're made of snow,
and it's just gonna
make you more cold.
-Why don't you come with us?
-No.
Where are you going?
We're gonna see Santa
and steal the naughty list.
Nope. I don't need
help like that.
But I also don't want
to keep feeling this way.
How long have you been out here?
I don't want to be a bird?
I think she might be depressed.
Yeah, she's definitely
mean and scary,
so she'll definitely
come in handy
when it's time to confront Santa
and take that list.
I like where this is going.
Let's do this.
Okay, Mrs. Polar Bear.
-Polly.
-Polly, right.
We want you to come with us,
help us steal the naughty list,
then you, Larry Bird over here,
and Rewind
can get your wishes granted,
so you're not
a bunch of psychos anymore.
Sound pretty good?
I think it sounds pretty good.
All right, everybody, awesome.
Great plan. Let's go.
I don't want to be a bird,
but maybe one of those
skinny girls,
like a cow or a moose.
I think you'd be surprised.
They're pretty big up close.
I think I'm going to just
lay here for a few days.
Well, if you lay here,
the fire will go out,
and you will be cold again,
and nothing will change.
Cool story, bro.
But if you stand up
and come with us now,
you'll get the blood flowing,
smell the fresh cut snow.
You could help out the champ
with his translating.
How do you know I won't eat you?
How do you know
we won't eat you?
I guess we're just going to
have to trust each other.
-Can we make a fire every night?
-You bet, polar bear.
But only backwards Tonya Harding
here knows how to make a fire,
so if you want to keep the fire,
you better come with us. Got it?
Okay. Just give me
a few minutes, though.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Here we go.
[grunting]
Mindy, maybe you can help?
Uh, no.
-But you're an ox.
-[scoffs]
How's that insulting?
[shivering] We've all
been there before.
See? [grunting]
Aren't you glad
you came along with us?
Let me help.
I'm so awesome.
You didn't say
there would be ice.
-It'll be okay.
-It's too cold.
Look, it's either the ice
or the snow.
I mean, I'm not exactly
an ice scientist,
but I'm pretty sure
they're the same temperature.
Different texture.
How about you
just give it a quick try?
You know, we gotta
make some progress here.
We're running out of time.
Nope, too cold.
It's the same.
It's either one big piece of ice
or a bunch of little pieces
of ice that make up snow.
Oh, hey, guys.
What's up, Sneaky Doug?
Oh, hi, Fish.
-Sneaky Doug? Quit following us,
you weirdo stalker.
-Okay.
Yeah, I just wanted to
give y'all a heads-up
about that blizzard.
Y'all?
Anyhow, just thought
y'all would like to know.
[Rory ]Uh, I don't see
any blizzard, pal.
Oh, and there's wolves
up there too.
Uh-huh. Thank you, Mr. Fish,
for the report on everything
up here, thank you.
No sweat, partner.
Hey there, Musk ox.
Notice you back at the lake.
Don't know how to say, uh,
but, uh, maybe don't spend
so much time on one foot.
-You know what I mean?
-Uh, I don't know what you mean.
Nothing personal there, sweetie.
Just a point load pounds per
square inch sort of thing.
Maybe some, uh, snowshoes
if you're gonna be on this ice.
It's mostly frozen,
but better safe than sorry.
Uh, excuse me?
It's all good, baby.
You're an ox, NBD,
big and strong.
Just watch out for thin ice.
You too, polar bear.
Weight distribution,
name of the game.
Blizzard? Is it
going to get colder?
Oh, yeah. You're definitely
gonna freeze to death
if you don't find shelter quick.
But I guess you got
a little bit of time.
I wouldn't hang out too long.
You know what I mean?
Right. Okay. Well,
see you later. Thanks, Floppy.
No sweat, man. A little help?
Someone kick me back
in my ice hole.
What?
The ice hole over there.
Just kick me back
in the ice hole.
Hey, seriously,
watch out for them wolves.
Bloop.
Uh, I think we should
just keep moving.
Polly, let's go.
No. Let me just
get blizzarded over.
Polly, you have to say yes
to coming with us.
This is the warmest way to go.
Blizzard.
Yeah, well, I've never
taken advice from a fish before,
and I'm not gonna start today.
[scoffs] Blizzard.
It's a beautiful day outside,
and where are all the wolves?
Hey, wolves.
Maybe they're all teen wolves,
and they turned back
into Michael J. Foxes,
and now there's a whole pack
of foxes running around.
Hey, foxes.
If we get stuck in this canyon
when the blizzard comes,
I think we'll be toast.
We're popsicles, pal.
I'm sure we'll be fine
in a blizzard.
[suspenseful music playing]
Great. We should
double back now
while we still have the chance.
The festival's only got
a few days left,
and we've been gone a day,
another day to get there,
and then we have to
double time it back,
then show that
we aren't on the list,
and we can't waste half a day
going backwards, right, Champ?
[sobbing]
Maybe we can, like,
make a shelter here?
Uh, with all of our, like,
combined carpentry skills?
We don't know how to do that.
Plus, we don't have the permits.
So up and over, sweetie.
Let's go.
Let's just go back.
Holy cow,
you people are useless.
Bunch of crybabies.
[grunting]
Great. This is totally perfect.
Okay. Mm-hm. Yeah.
Wolverine and a fish,
it's like a bad joke.
[grunting]
[clears throat]
Excuse me, everyone.
Team, I've decided to be
the bigger snowman
and let you guys have your way.
So let's go back
so the crybabies
can stop crying.
I think we're good
to go over now.
What? I really think
we should double back.
Just go up the ridge
and, you know,
stay along the edge there.
Nah, we're going over.
You were right.
The blizzard, it's coming.
[wind howling]
[Rory] Huh.
Well, I'm going to
sh**t straight with all of you.
There's wolves
on the other side.
But you already know that.
Look, I've decided to be
the bigger snowman
and lead you
through these wolves.
We gotta be quiet
and move swiftly
because we don't have
a lot of time.
[wolves snoring]
[suspenseful music playing]
Why are you guys
going over them?
Just go around.
[sneezes]
Hm.
[snoring]
[tense music playing]
Champ, champ, champ.
No, no, no.
No, no, no. Champ.
Oh, no.
-[groans]
-Ooh.
Ew.
[Rory] How did he not
wake up from that?
[snoring]
[Rory] Okay, just keep going.
Just keep going.
[Mindy] Shhh. Sleep,
count the sheep.
Whatever you need to do,
just don't wake up.
[chuckling nervously]
Phew. We made it, guys.
No problems.
[screams]
My tail!
What happened to my tail, bro?
I need that for balance.
[dramatic drumroll plays]
Oh, man!
[groans] Oh,
what did you do to my tail?
You're gonna get eaten for this.
Get them!
[wolf] Uh...
-Okay, uh...
-Chase them! Tony, wake up!
Sleep inertia.
-What?
-What?
They got the nap noodles. Run!
[tailless wolf] Get to skipping,
Tony. They're getting away.
Tony, you got a full tail.
Use it.
[tense music playing]
Uh... Too cold.
They're gaining on us.
[growling]
Chased by a pack of wolves
in a blizzard.
It can't get any worse!
[rumbling, snow crunching]
[Lowell] Avalanche!
We're never going to
outrun all this.
When the avalanche hits,
try to stay on top
and do a swimming motion.
Yeah, do a swim move.
The canyon's up ahead.
We can make it!
[all yelling]
[groaning]
[wolf barking weakly]
[yells]
We have to pull everyone out.
[wind whistling]
Hey, I've got something!
I've got a skate.
[grunting]
Sorry, Champ.
At least we didn't
chop your tail off.
[Lowell] I think it's
an ice fishing shack.
Or at least it smells like one.
Okay, you help him get situated.
I don't know
what to do with him.
I'm going to go back
for the rest.
Why?
Slight problem, buddy.
Where's your other arm?
Oh, boy.
All right, let's just get that
out of there.
No need for anybody
to know that happened.
That's better. Dry, happy baby.
Ooh. Okay, no need for anyone
to know about this, either.
[grunting]
Come on. Come on.
I got it. I got it this time.
It's stuck.
How is this my problem?
Mindy! Polly! Anybody!
-Santa? Mommy?
-[wolf growling]
[grunts] No!
There goes my button!
Lowell? Lowell, is that you?
Big clumsy ox. Hello? Hello?
Wolverines!
-[yells]
-Mindy, was that you?
I just want to disappear.
-Maybe this is for the best.
-[wolf growling weakly]
Just get it over with!
[Lowell] Polly, is that you?
-Lowell?
-We have to get out of here.
Did you see Mindy?
-She went flying that way.
-Take my hand, we have to move!
Where?
There's a shack,
but I lost the scarf.
Mindy!
[wolf growling]
[Mindy yelling]
[wolf whimpering]
Okay, we are lost
in this blizzard
and we have to get
back to the shack
before these wolves k*ll us,
and I have no idea
which direction to go.
[Polly] Can we follow
the frozen river to the shack?
You're a genius!
But which direction
should we go?
[Polly] I don't know.
I know what to do.
[ice cracking]
Why did you do that?
Hey, y'all everybody
doing okay up there?
What's going on?
Looks like that blizzard
caught up with you.
Which direction
is the ice fishing shack?
Oh, you mean, where the leg is?
Hold on, I'll check.
Leg?
-Okay, I found it.
-I don't know
what you boys are up to,
but you got yourself into a mess
that you're going to have to
really figure out up there.
You're going to have to
start dry.
Which way?
I tell you what.
Can you see me if I'm up
under the ice like this?
Did you see me?
We could barely see you!
Cool. Stay with me,
or you'll run into the wolves
up there or get lost.
Bloop.
Uh, Fish! Fish! Come back!
[Polly] Just give him a second.
[Lowell] Oh, yeah, he's back!
Did you see him over here?
I didn't see anybody.
My tail hurts.
Did you see them?
Did you see where they went?
They're somewhere out here
in this blizzard.
Did anyone else
get their tail chopped off?
Just me? What's the deal?
[Mindy] Oh, no, bigger fish!
Watch out!
[big fish gulps]
[Lowell] Fish! Fish!
[Polly] I don't think
he's coming back this time.
No! He was just trying to help.
[wind whistling]
[Polly] Your scarf!
No!
That means it's right here.
Somewhere. Close!
Come to my voice!
Come to my voice!
Can you hear me?
Come to my voice!
Come to my voice!
Can you hear me?
Polly, come to my voice!
The wolves are coming!
You would not believe
what I've had to deal with
in here.
Is he okay?
Well, he is breathing,
but he could be
pretending, though.
Good thing
I made the hole bigger. Hmm?
[Lowell] Mindy, don't move.
Hey!
Mindy, give us your hand
and we'll take your weight
off the ice,
and you can put your feet
on the bottom boards.
Hey! I hear you in there!
Wait, just stay there.
This is why I hate being an ox.
I can hear you
whispering in there.
I hear your conversation.
No, you were perfect out there.
Is this a fishing shack
or an outhouse?
-[gasps]
-Ah!
-Now you're breaking the ice?
-[cracking]
Unbelievable.
The wolves are out there.
And which one of you jerks
chopped off my tail
while I was asleep?
You did chop off his tail
while he was sleeping.
I don't think he cares
that it was an accident.
Yeah, his arm got wet too.
Okay, I'm leaving. Bye. See you.
That genius,
he's still out there.
That's right,
I'm still out here.
All 30 of us are out here too.
Right, guys?
[in disguised voices] Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Me too. Me too.
Yeah, we know
it's just you out there.
Shh!
What? He can't get in here.
You can't get in here,
tailless wolf.
Not cool, man.
Yeah, not cool.
What did we ever do to you?
You were gonna eat us?
Uh, we were asleep.
You drew first blood.
We were gonna eat you
after the tail thing.
Easy to say that now.
Yeah, especially since
you cut my tail off first.
Nice logic.
That's a causal fallacy.
I don't understand.
You're setting up a false cause.
Since we are going to eat you,
that means we were going to
eat you, which wasn't true.
Which part wasn't true,
Judge Judy?
The former or the latter?
Former or latter?
Former means first,
latter means second.
-Oh, the latter.
-Got you.
Well, you're saying
you weren't going to eat us,
but you can't prove that.
-The burden of proof
isn't on me.
-How so?
Well, you made the claim.
The burden of proof is on you,
not me, man.
So you are planning to eat us.
Oh, yeah. Are you kidding me?
You cut off my tail.
And you're a poor debater.
Obviously not homeschooled.
I wasn't homeschooled,
and I be smart.
Stupid wolf.
Ad hominem.
Let's just be quiet
until he goes away.
Yeah, be quiet, Rory.
[knocking]
[in disguised voice] Please,
sir, my wife is pregnant.
We need help.
[in female voice]
Please, sir. Please, sir.
I don't want to give birth
out here in a blizzard.
[male voice] Please,
we need help.
We chased off the wolves,
and now our other children
are freezing.
[in child's voice]
Daddy, Daddy, I'm cold.
[in female voice]
Oh, not my water broke.
Oh, no, my water broke.
The baby's coming.
Yeah, unless you're pregnant
with wolf baby Jesus,
you're not getting in here.
What's the logical fallacy
for being incredibly obtuse?
[in normal voice]
You guys are jerks.
Ah, who's the ad hominem now?
It's pretty clear
I won that exchange.
Whatever, man.
You need wolf baby Jesus.
[cracking]
What's happening?
[cracking continues]
[Polly] Wolf, is that you?
[Rory] He's back
for another battle of wits.
-[Polly] What did we do to you?
-[all chattering]
[Rory] Don't do it. Don't do it.
Don't do it.
[wolf] Boop-a-doo.
Uh, this isn't going to be good.
[rumbling]
[Rory]
Oh, that doesn't look good.
[whimpering]
[all shouting and grunting]
Huh...
Well, just keeps getting better,
doesn't it?
[Polly] Yep, they just fall
straight down.
Time to move.
Yesterday, curling ruined lives.
Today, it's going to save lives.
Feel the rhythm.
Feel the rhyme.
Get on up.
This is so stupid.
It's curling time.
[Rory] Okay, everybody.
One, two, three.
You got this, Champ.
[upbeat music playing]
Champ, you're going forward.
Watch out, everybody.
Brace yourselves!
[all grunting]
[Rory] Huh? Wait.
No. No!
What's happening?
I thought the frozen river
would keep going.
Where is it?
It obviously disappears
underground here.
-And you led us here.
-Hey, man.
And this stupid idea
to come this way and find
the naughty list is your fault.
We're just one wrong move away
from losing our homes,
our families, everything,
everything, everything!
Why don't you
just take it down a notch?
Yeah, well, why don't you
just get out of here?
That's what you
always want, right?
To lay around by yourself
and sulk.
Holy cow, I'm so sick
of having a walking, talking,
anthropomorphized bummer
following us around.
You, you, you, and you
are useless to me.
-Fine, I'm going.
-[Rory] Then go.
-I'm gone.
-Good.
-This is me leaving.
-Bye, Felicia.
I'll send a postcard.
Great, I'll put it
on my refrigerator.
Good, I'll send a magnet too.
Thank you, that is
incredibly generous of you.
Well, you deserve it.
I certainly don't deserve
a friend like you.
Oh, don't sell yourself short.
You're amazing.
No, you're amazing.
Oh, I'm amazing?
You're so amazing,
it makes my stomach hurt.
Good luck, everyone,
with your amazing friend.
-[exasperated sigh]
-[Mindy] Polly!
What did you do?
She's gone. Like, "gone" gone.
Yeah, like, good.
After all she's done?
Done? The only one
more useless than her is you,
if you don't count
Bed, Backwards, and Beyond here.
-You are such a narcissist.
-Narcissist?
I've never done drugs.
Do other people
even exist to you,
or are we just here to be extras
in your movie?
You guys are literally extras
in my movie.
You disappoint me
in a profound way.
Yeah, well, I'm not here
to appoint you.
Oh, I know.
You've made it abundantly clear
you're only here for yourself.
You'll probably get
everything you want
and be alone.
Congratulations, you are
your own reward.
Ah, whatever, man.
Rory, other people exist.
Do we exist to you?
Are we people to you,
or what are we?
I'd really like to know.
If we don't help you
get what you want,
what are we to you?
I don't get it, man.
I really do want an answer.
Are we nothing to you?
Are you even
listening to me? Hello?
Don't copycat my way out.
[grunting]
Which way do we go, Champ?
[sobbing]
What do we do now?
He's wrong. You're not useless.
We wouldn't have
made it this far
unless we were together,
and I don't think
we'll get anywhere alone.
I think old Lowell
might be onto something here.
Hopefully, the group can
get their act together
and see the simple value
of other people.
So, we'll see.
That list isn't
going to steal itself.
[band playing jovial music]
[pensive music playing]
[internal voice] I don't think
I'll make it anywhere alone.
Whew.
Hmm.
Not really sure
which way I'm going
or even what time it is.
Not really sure
how to get back either. Oh, boy.
Whatever! I don't
need them anyways.
No, maybe this way.
Something with the sun
and direction.
Not really sure
what I'm looking for, though.
Which way do you
think here, buddy?
[shadow] I don't know.
Not a lot of resources out here.
There we go.
Couldn't hurt to bounce
some ideas off another person.
Two heads are better than one,
I always say.
-Huh. Hello.
-Huh. Hello.
-Oh, boy, this is a new one.
-[repeating dialogue]
Hmm. I'm a snowman.
You're a snowman.
I like watermelons
and chicken pot pie.
Hmm. You think you know me?
You don't know me.
You're just a one-armed snowman.
[scoffs] You don't know me.
You don't know anything.
No, not me, you.
You don't know anything.
Oh, I don't?
Then who's the one out here
talking with made-up
snow people?
You are!
No, you are!
No, you are!
Whatever, man.
Hmm.
Do you know how to get back?
Mm-mm.
-[scoffs] Figures.
-Figures.
-What is that?
-What is that?
Now push.
Okay, I saw this problem
coming up here, but at least
we're officially out.
How do we make it to the edge
without all of us
falling back in?
I don't know,
but I'm open to ideas.
What if we all roll
so we are face-to-face,
then we put our palms together,
and then using our hands,
we all push ourselves
to the edge?
Uh, unless anybody's got
a better idea,
let's give it a go.
Okay, on the count of three,
we all roll right.
Got it.
Okay, unlink arms.
Okay, one, two, three, roll!
[all grunt]
[in muffled voice]
This is worse.
[muffled] My face!
Uh, what's next in this process?
[Mindy] Palms together,
now push!
[Lowell] This is a little worse,
like a dangerous plank.
Okay, maybe we should do
one more push and push ourselves
clear of the ice hole.
[Lowell] Wait, what?
Well, there goes our G rating.
-[Mindy] Ready?
-No, but let's go anyway.
One, two, three, push!
Whoa.
Whoa...
[whimpering]
Well, this is definitely worse.
[in muffled voice]
One more time.
I only got one more in me,
so let's make it count.
Palms together.
Push harder this time.
One, two, three, push!
We're gonna make it.
We're not gonna make it.
[tense music playing]
Whoa...
[grunts]
This is definitely worse.
-I'm slipping!
-[Mindy] Ah...
[Lowell] Come on, Mindy!
Ah. Ah. Oh.
-Somebody!
-I'm coming! I got you!
Oh, no!
[tense music playing]
I'm still slipping!
Come on, Mindy!
We're all gonna fall!
[Mindy] Oh, this is deeper
than I remember it!
[pensive music playing]
What am I doing down here?
Bloop.
Oh, I thought you were dead.
There's a lot of us down here.
Where'd your mates go?
They're not my mates.
My bad.
Seemed like they were friends.
Turns out they weren't.
That's a bummer.
Hard to find good friends.
Yeah.
No, I really mean it.
Hard to find.
Most people around these parts
would rather leave you for dead.
-Run out on you
the first chance they get.
-Right.
Seen it a thousand times.
Yep, things get tough
and they're gone.
Okay, I got it.
But maybe it's better
to be alone.
Nope. That's how you get eaten.
Let's be clear.
I do the eating around here.
A hundred percent, Polar Bear.
Sometimes, though, bear eats you
and sometimes
bear eats itself, I guess.
Dangerous game,
wouldn't you say?
This isn't my favorite.
I'll give you that.
Would love to hang around
and chat all day, but, man,
it's burning up out here.
Give us a shove
back in the ice hole.
You're back on track. Good luck.
Bloop.
[dramatic music playing]
I got you.
[Lowell] Hello.
What's going on up there?
Oh, no.
[sighs]
[Lowell] Here, somebody
catch my eye and look around.
I found my way back,
but I'm too late.
[Lowell] Uh, what's happening
up there?
I still can't see anything.
Are we still working on
not falling?
Come on, man.
What's your problem?
You're seriously not
going to let me by?
Hmm.
This snowman's got
a real mouth on him.
Okay. How do we
get past this guy?
Okay. You're in for it now, pal.
I'm going to get that arm back.
Dang it.
Okay.
Hmm.
Interesting.
Hmm. Hm.
Hm.
Hmm.
-I'm coming!
-I'm coming.
[yells]
Hang on, everybody.
Rory's coming!
[tense music playing]
[yells]
Hang on.
I'm slipping!
[groans]
Huh?
[panting]
Mush.
[triumphant music playing]
Ooh.
Ooh.
That was incredible,
gripping, inspiring,
the way you all dove in
after one another.
Thanks for the help.
We're so glad you came along.
[dog] No sweat.
If we didn't see this fella
with the stick arms,
we would have never seen you.
Happy to help.
We've been running forever.
Thought we would never stop.
[Rory] Yeah.
Oh, boy. Uh...
I-- Have you-- Wow. How long
have you guys been running?
Feels like forever.
Yeah, I bet it does.
Yo, dog. Um...
I'm sorry to be
the one to do this,
but we could really use a ride.
Sure.
If it's okay with the boss.
Uh, no, no, no, no. Hey, sorry.
Sled dogs, could we have a chat,
just you and me,
for a few moments?
[dog] Sure, go ahead.
Is it hot in here
to anyone else?
What do you think
they're talking about?
It looks like Lowell's
breaking the bad news to them.
You're right.
Lowell is a great friend.
Uh, are you kidding me?
Is this how you thank me
for saving you?
Champ, you're going
forward again.
Champ?
Anyone want to say something?
[howling softly]
[howling]
Rory, if you were them,
what would you want
to happen next?
I don't understand.
-Imagine you're them.
-Who?
The dogs.
Imagine you're the dogs.
I'm not the dogs, I'm me.
But if you were the dogs,
what would you want?
Oh. But I want them
to give us a ride.
But what would they want?
Uh...
Close your eyes, or we're
going to leave you here.
Now imagine you're a sled dog.
What would you want
as the sled dogs?
Uh...
Trying, sled dogs,
running, snow,
uh, carry the five,
divide by zero,
make the tail go over the river.
Ah! My brain, it hurts,
I can't, Lowell.
-Keep trying.
-Burp, bark, mush, I'm a bee.
-Yeah.
-No, I'm a dog.
-Yes.
-Sled dog. [grunting]
-Now you're getting there.
-[pants]
Getting closer.
Mm...
[Lowell] Well?
But what if-- But what if--
But what if
it's not what I want?
Do it anyways.
Hm.
This is so backwards,
I don't even know
why I'm doing this.
You're welcome to come with us,
maybe Santa will give you
what you want, uh, back,
or, you know, you're free to go.
We're good.
We've got each other.
And we've always been
free to go.
But we hope you all find
what you're looking for.
Thank you for your kindness
and help.
Well, I do have no idea
which direction to go now.
[Rory mimics angelic choir]
Why dost thou asketh
the question when thy question
has been answered?
Holy cow.
No. Holy bear.
Whatever. I know the way
back to the frozen river.
Leadeth the way, my child.
One right deed,
and now he's an angel.
Getting close, huh, g*ng?
No, Sneaky Doug, get lost.
Okey-dokey.
[Rory] Where were you,
Sneaky Doug,
when we were stuck
in that hole?
[upbeat music playing]
[dramatic music playing]
-Well, hey, guys, good luck.
-[scoffs]
Okay, how shall we do this?
Is everyone as nervous as I am?
Okay.
[suspenseful music playing]
[knocking on door]
[Polly gasps]
[door creaks]
This is not
what I was expecting.
I don't know what I expected.
At least we're here.
I don't know about this.
Should we make a plan first?
You know,
like the heist kind of a thing?
Uh, we already opened the door.
I think we're in it.
[Rory] This can't be it.
Fish said it was it.
[Rory] Yeah, but come on.
There's, like, nothing here.
It's just, like,
a big, empty church.
[echoing]
[Lowell] I think
it is an empty church.
Wow, attendance is really down.
Maybe people don't know
it's this close to Christmas.
I thought you said
Santa lived here.
He might be.
I just want to be warm again.
I just want to be a bird.
I just want my nose
and the naughty list.
I want to get off
the naughty list.
Uh, okay. Nothing here.
Let's try this again.
Huh. Nothing here, either.
Okay, last stop.
-One...
-Two...
Three.
Go!
Hello?
-Hello.
-Hello.
This is a private residence.
Can I help you?
Uh, we're looking
for Santa Claus.
Sorry, I guess
we're in the wrong place.
-Oh, you mean Saint Nicholas.
-Maybe.
Nice list, naughty list.
Gives gifts away
at Christmas time.
He is a man of many legends.
So is he here?
Nope. Just me.
When will he be back?
[chuckles]
I don't know, but you're
the ones breaking and entering.
So please,
make yourself at home.
Oh, by the way,
is this a hostage situation?
Should I make a ransom note?
-What do you need?
-Where is he?
Last I heard, he was in Rome.
Rome?
Yeah, but that was
about a year ago.
But then again,
he didn't call me by the phone.
Of course, he couldn't
because it's 325 A.D.,
and I'm not his secretary.
So, yeah, I think
it was definitely Rome.
Well, awesome. None of us
get what we came for.
This is perfect.
What are we supposed to do now?
[chuckles]
I don't know.
Am I supposed to know?
Am I everybody's
secretary today?
It can't just end like this.
We'll never get a sequel.
There has to be a reason
that we're here.
Or should we go try to find him?
How would you?
I don't know. The fish?
How would a fish know anything
outside of their stream?
Wait. All the stuff
we've been through,
the blizzards, the pine,
the scent of beta-carotene,
the wolves,
the basically surviving
the impossible just to get here?
Just to find out
there's no way
to get off the list?
-We're just doomed?
-You're not doomed.
Yeah, we are.
We ruined the festival.
Oh, ruined the festival, huh?
-Yeah, that's pretty tough.
-Yeah.
You could probably never go back
and apologize for that.
You don't know these people.
They're filthy animals.
I think you are here
for a reason.
Yeah, so we can see how wrong
we were about everything.
Maybe. Do you know
the real St. Nicholas?
The real man
the legend is based on?
Naughty and nice list,
presents, stockings,
people losing their Christianity
fighting over parking spots
just to get into the mall
to see the big guy?
Uh, presents, reindeer, sleigh,
milk and cookies.
-Did I mention presents already?
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.
That's what it turned into.
The real man is quite something.
St. Nicholas grew up
in a wealthy, loving home
until he lost his world
when his parents died.
Despite his inherited wealth,
he only wanted to serve.
There's a famous story of him
hearing of a man
who was very poor.
[hopeful music playing]
Now, the man had
three daughters.
Nicholas knew
the man had no choice
but to sell his daughters
as servants
so they would have food
and shelter.
He knew what it was like
to lose the ones you love,
and he couldn't let it be.
[poignant music playing]
Without making a sound,
he waited and waited
until they were long asleep.
He wanted the man
to have dignity,
and he wanted no honor
for himself.
The next morning, the man knew
his prayers were answered.
Nicholas liked being the answer,
so much so that he would
go to the man's house again
the next night.
Being the answer
to a real-life prayer
to someone in real-life need
moved him to help again
the third night.
But on the third night,
he was found out.
He did not want honor
for himself, so he ran.
But you can't outrun
a grateful heart.
St. Nicholas
explained to the man
he was only passing along
what God had given to him.
He had finally found
his calling.
He would use his wealth,
his intellect, his youth,
his strength
to be a real solution
for those who needed it.
His legend grew
throughout the years,
and he did keep a list,
but not of naughty
or nice people,
but of people in need.
As he grew in stature,
he was called upon
to help settle a debate
started by a heretic.
The man, spreading lies,
spoke and spoke,
and the people
became very angry.
St. Nicholas
was a man of action,
and he struck the heretic
thinking he was doing right,
but he was wrong.
And the people
who once revered him
were so disappointed.
The emperor demanded
he be thrown into prison,
and there, he had the time
to stop and think
about his actions.
Finally, he repented
and was granted
the opportunity to apologize.
And even though he tried
to do the right thing,
he had to accept
the consequences.
He was kicked off the council
and never allowed to return.
You see, but ultimately,
forgiveness doesn't depend
on other people.
Forgiveness truly comes
from our Creator.
I suppose we're all
on the naughty list
if you want to put it
in those terms.
Including him.
But he's out there somewhere
carrying on his work.
So how do we get on
the nice list?
You don't. There are no lists.
Personally, it sounds
made up to me.
What you need to do
is get on the forgiven list.
No! No! No!
[Rory] What are you doing, pal?
This is not how this goes.
We're supposed to be
off the naughty list.
-But there is no list.
-Yes, there is.
Maybe not from Santa
or St. Nicholas
or whoever that is.
But the town has one,
and we're on it.
-It's made up.
-It's made up, but it's real.
Now it's impossible
to get back home,
and after all we've done,
after all the work
we've put into this,
-and there's nothing? No list?
-You were right from the start.
We just need to go back,
and then--
We can't just do that.
It'll never put things back
the way they were
if we just apologize.
Do we want to put things back
the way they were?
So they just make up a list,
we get put on it,
then we have to go back
and ask them for forgiveness?
-How does that make sense?
-It doesn't make sense.
But it does make sense.
I guess we just gotta
deal with it, you know?
Them putting that list
onto us, really.
No, I can't.
-Sure you can!
-No, I mean I won't.
You can't stay out here forever.
You'll be lost and all alone.
But a light is waiting
to carry us home, man.
Everywhere you look.
That's the lyrics to Full House.
Well, they're true.
Don't go that way, you know?
I can't go with you anymore.
This is as far as I go.
Lowell, what are you doing?
You're not going
full snowman, are you?
Lowell, Lowell!
No! I'll show you
it can be done!
Lowell, it can be true!
What's going on?
He went full snowman on us!
What does that mean?
Look at him! He's just...
He's checked out!
He's just a snowy
snowman of snow.
[howling]
-Huh?
-What was that?
They need our help.
What can we do to help?
We have to get back
and apologize
before the festival is over
and everyone leaves.
So we have to carry Lowell
so that he can see
that it'll work.
But he has already gone
full snowman.
We have to try.
[creaks then crashes]
Hmm. So they made it there.
And now they're headed
back here?
[scoffs] We'll see about that.
Good work, buddy.
[jovial music playing]
[grunts] We have to go around!
There's no time!
We can't go around!
We have to do this crazy jump!
I sure hope
there's no wolves down there!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
[screaming]
Dang, there is wolves
down there!
Merry Christmas!
[tailless wolf] That's them!
Get them!
Get up there.
Get his arm, Tony! Yeah!
Hey, give that back!
[chuckles]
Got your arm. Got your arm.
Chomp.
I got your back.
Oh!
Sorry, Champ!
Champ, I'm falling!
[grunting]
Okay, good job, buddy.
[dog] Hey, bros, what's going on
back there?
[grunting]
Yes!
[dog] Ooh! Ouch.
Why are we going backwards?
[Rory] We're going to hit
the jump backwards.
Everybody, hold on!
Maybe try the swim move?
[dogs] Reverse! Reverse!
Backward jumps! Yes!
[Mindy] Oh, no! I'm not a bird!
[upbeat rock music playing]
We've never been
back here before.
This is weird, but I love it!
Mush!
Guess we're
pulling the sled now.
[growling]
Get these wolves off of us!
Whoa!
Champ, you're choking me again!
Huh?
Let him go
or you'll fall, Champ!
Let him go! You're slipping!
I'm going to drop both of you!
Oh. I guess that's not so bad.
[panting]
I'm hungry too.
Now?
Now.
Not if you have anything
to say about it, Sneaky Doug.
Okay.
[rumbling]
Grow, Sneaky Doug, grow!
Show them what you're made of!
Which is also
what they're made of.
But grow, grow!
There it is!
Well, hey, guys.
Sneaky Doug, what are you doing?
You almost k*lled us!
Well, maybe
I should get lost, huh?
We're trying to get back in
to apologize
and make things right.
You're never getting back
in here while you're still
on the naughty list.
You're all on the naughty list!
[cackling]
He doesn't get to make up
who's on what list!
Sneaky Doug, don't be pathetic,
you pile of snow!
Destroy them, and I'll take you
off the naughty list!
Sneaky Doug,
there is no naughty list!
And that guy doesn't control it!
Well, then, I think
I'll just destroy you all.
Sneaky Doug, no! Not me--
Very naughty! [voice fading]
[ominous music playing]
Ooh! That log almost
destroyed our whole booth.
[dramatic music playing]
-Sneaky Doug, you're angry!
-Well, yeah.
[yells]
[whimpering]
Sneaky Doug, you feel
ignored and disregarded!
Well, yeah.
He stopped him! Holy cow!
And you don't want
others to think
you're on the naughty list!
Well, yeah.
The naughty list!
Come on, everybody!
Naughty list!
[Rory] I've got news for you
and everyone here!
-We went to Santa's place
to steal the naughty list!
-[all gasp]
We broke in,
according to our plan,
and there was no naughty list!
[all gasp]
But if there was a naughty list,
I should be on it.
[all gasp]
I ruined your festival
in many ways, and I
just want to say that I'm...
[groans] Oh, give me a second.
That I'm-- [retches]
-That I'm...
-Just do it.
I'm sorry!
[all gasp]
Don't fall for this.
He just wants his job back
so he can insult us more.
St. Nicholas wasn't
keeping a list on me.
He was--
He did what was wrong too
and was looking
to be forgiven himself.
Then St. Nicholas
spent his life helping others.
And some of us really need
to probably get help also,
like, professional help.
You're obviously
severely depressed,
your anxiety is off the charts,
and your anger is
turning you into a monster!
Is that what you want to be,
Sneaky Doug? A monster?
Mm...
Uh... Uh!
[yells]
You're in for it now.
Cone de neige attack!
-Snow cone!
-Go get him! Yes!
Go and sweep!
And get a flush nose on him!
Good job, skip!
Let it go all the way!
Come on, send in
the skijoring team,
and don't hit the ski jump
backwards!
[Fox] Don't worry, coach,
I won't!
Lunge, parry, riposte,
thrust! Yes, perfect!
Ski dance your way to victory!
[Fox] Don't go backwards!
Don't go backwards!
Don't go backwards!
Whee! [screams]
Ha-ha!
Come on, this isn't working!
What should we do?
Should we throw more snow cones?
[yelling]
All right, Sneaky Doug!
-[yells]
-Huh?
Oh!
-What did you do to me?
-[rumbling]
What... What happened?
What does this mean?
It means you're
a snowman now, buddy.
Well, no one's ever
done anything like this
for me before.
Well, maybe every pile of snow
just needs a little help
becoming a snowman.
Naughty list! Naughty list!
Oh, stop it, Frank.
Everyone's had
just about enough.
We can't just let them back in.
They're on the list!
Very naughty!
Let's go build
that bridge back, eh?
Wow, I've never heard Rory
apologize before.
Oh, you're back.
Good to have you back, buddy.
I can't believe
you made it back.
Looks like you didn't get
what you wanted, but instead
found out what you need.
I really thought
you would get eaten out there,
so good work.
My buttons!
[jaunty music playing]
There you have it, folks,
a Christmas adventure about
mental health and forgiveness.
I hope you find yourself
in the story.
Was this a real story?
Why, little guy,
St. Nicholas was really real.
And the rest of it,
it's as real as you and I.
Okay.
Merry Christmas, everyone!
[triumphant music playing]
[upbeat music playing]
Ah, the team is
finally coming together.
The curling rock
is my favorite part
and the sweeping.
I mean, look at me,
as giddy as a schoolgirl.
Oh, I won't have
this much fun again
until Bing Crosby tap dances
with Danny Kaye.
Up next, we have ski dancing.
[upbeat synth music playing]
Ski dancing.
Oh, I love ski dancing.
[peaceful music playing]
[orchestral music playing]
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Steal the Naughty List (2024)
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