01x01 - Gunfight at the OK Laundrette

[bunniefuu]

I could be so good for you

Love you like you want me to

I could be so good for you

Love me like you want me to

Lo signore si antifica I'amore di

questi sposi

I'anello che porteranno come simbolo

di fedelta

li richiami continuamente al

vicendevole amore.

Per Cristo nostro Signore.

- Amen.

- ALL: Amen.

Maria ricevi questo anello,

er segno mio amore e della mia

fedelta.

Er

e della mia fedelta.

Hardly speak his own bleedin'

language.

Nel nome del Padre e del Figlio e

dello Spirito Santo.

Franco, ricevi questo anello,

segno del mio amore e della mia

fedelta.

Nel nome del Padre e del Figlio e

dello Spirito Santo.

Vi benedica, di omnipotente.

Padre, Figlio, Spirito Santo.

- Amen.

- ALL: Amen.

(LAUGHS)

We'll slip out and have a quiet

one on the way.

It's all changed, innit?

You've all done well, though,

haven't you?

Church is about the only bit of

Little Italy left.

Yeah, right, Arthur. They've all

moved out.

Finchley, Barnet. You know, some

have even got places in Stanmore.

- Stanmore? Nice.

- Yeah.

Ciao, Maria, huh?! Yeah!

- But they don't feel Italian no more.

- No?

Especially Franco. He won't have

none of that now, will he?

Not Franco. Gotta be Frank now.

You know, I've still got the

grandfather's old place in Tuscany.

Thought they'd like it for the

honeymoon.

Don't want to know.

Tunisia. They're going to Tunisia.

Little Davey Pollard had a heart

attack last week. Hear about that?

No. Mind you, he's marching on a

bit, Davey.

Seven years older than me.

(LAUGHS) That's what I mean, Alfie.

I'm sorry young Terry couldn't make

it. Be a nice lunch.

It's his mum. He's a boy that likes

to look after his mum.

Nice to hear.

He'll be well sorry. He loves a

church service and a luncheon.

(DISCO MUSIC)

Oi! Oi!

That's enough. You're disturbing all

the other theatre lovers. Come on.

You're manhandling me, mate!

Listen, I can either knock you out

or get you nicked. What do you want?

What are you talking about?

They are bloody tarts, mate.

Tarts? Listen son, some of these girls

have got children and they're mums.

Now how would you feel if someone behaved

like you did in front of your mum, 'aye?

Hey?!

You're not suggesting are you that

you'd find my mother in a place like this?

No, son, no. But she wouldn't be too

please to see you here either, would she?

Come on.

Come on. On your pot.

Get back to the building cite,

under few bags of cement above, ah?

Sorry, mate.

Don't worry. But don't come back.

You should given him a wack, Terry.

Teach him a lesson.

A-a. They don't get steamed up

they wouldn't money pay, won't they?

Somebody characters there just

allowed behavior in the West End.

Still. Thanks very much, Terry.

I'll have a word with Arthur later.

OK.

Terry.

Now what?

Just to say thanks

on behalf of the other girls.

Any time.

I mean, obviously some of the guys

get carried away,

but that bloke,

he's been a right nuisance.

It's your act, isn't it Liz.

Turn them on, you can't turn them off.

You been watching me, then?

- Not many.

- Like what you saw?

As it happens, yeah.

I'm on round the corner in ten

minutes.

Oh, no. You might excite me beyond

my control.

- It's too dangerous. What time do you finish?

- About eight o'clock.

You asking me for a drink, then?

Sounds like it, don't it?

I'm packing it in next week. I'm

gonna be a hostess.

- Pan-Am?

- No, a sauna club in Notting Hill.

All right, then. I'll see you at

Dave's about 8:15.

Yeah.

I won't have time to go home and

change,

so I'll just come in my working

gear.

You don't wear anything

when you work.

Ain't you the lucky one, then, eh?

Yeah.

I don't know why it's caught on the

way it has.

It's not like snooker, is it?

It's not the same skill.

With snooker, you have to use your

brain.

Quite right, Arthur.

That's five on the trot.

Want another one?

Nah. It's a kid's game.

Fiver?

You're joking! We weren't playing

for money!

I don't mind getting you a drink.

Anyway, you've gotta be moving. I

promised Alfie.

- You can't let him down.

- I've got to meet someone.

You'll be through by seven o'clock.

He wants you to be there as he

empties the machines in the laundrettes.

- You could have asked

- There's a nice few bob for you.

Franco usually does it, but you can't

expect him to work on his wedding day.

No. Come on, then. Where's this drink?

Oh, yeah.

What you having, Arthur?

That's very nice, Charlie.

I just said to Terry it's a long

time since Charlie got a drink in.

- Large vodka and slimline for me.

- Certainly.

What do you reckon in the big one?

I really appreciate this, Terry.

Think nothing of it.

Been keeping out of trouble these

days?

Reformed character.

That's the way it should be.

- And Arthur, he hasn't changed, has he?

- No!

Don't know what he needs a minder

for these days.

He don't get up to any skulduggery,

does he?

Arthur? No, just makes him

feel good, I think.

He is a well-respected man. Always

has been.

- It did me a favour, anyway.

- Oh? What was that?

I don't remember now.

But he's always telling me he did me a

favour, so I suppose he must have done.

Hey! (WHISTLES)

(ONE MAN BAND PLAYS)

I'll say we don't wash much around

here, then, eh?

A very clean neighbourhood.

OK, man. Let's get baby some new

shoes, huh?

OK, don't nobody move!

Jesus, man! Don't just stand there!

Hurry!

- Hold on. Look

- (SCREAMS)

(g*nsh*t)

(SMASHES)

You You gonna be a dead man.

- Get back!

- Whiskey 315.

Through that door.

- Where's that lead to?!

- How the hell do I know?

They're making their way

to the rear exit.

Come on. Move it! Move it!

Listen, the man wants us to go

through to the back room, all right?

- Come on! Move it! Move it!

- All right!

Come on! Get in there!

Duck back! He's a nutter. He'll use

it.

There!

(GROANS)

Here we go.

OK, move it now! Get in there!

What the hell's the matter with you,

man?! Wake up!

Winston, get in that door.

It's only locked, innit!

- Hey, you! Keys!

- I ain't got them.

Come on! What the hell are you

messing about for?!

Look, empty his pockets.

(SIRENS)

Come on!

Round the back! One round the back,

one down here!

He ain't got any keys.

Move away from him! Winston, you

look.

That poor man needs a doctor.

Look, shut up, woman!

(DOG BARKS)

It's too late now, anyway.

We're finished.

You make a move and I sh**t anybody.

I don't care who.

(SIREN)

Right, follow me.

Cover the front!

Stretch we gotta

give ourselves up.

What you talking about, give up?

Give up what?

- Can't you see we got three erm

- Hostages.

Yeah, that's right, lady. Hostages.

What are you doing?

I wanna have a look, all right?

OK. The rest of you, sit down!

Just do what he says. Sit down.

Here, Terry.

Yeah, bit of the old blood, innit?

What you using? Seven shot?

- What the hell does it matter?

- I'm just interested.

Seven shot makes a bigger mess. Two

shot makes a bigger hole.

I've got good news for you, son. I'm

gonna live.

Are you the man that owns it?

Yeah, love. Sorry about all this.

Don't usually happen.

No, you're right Quite unusual

for this place.

Attention! This is the police!

You. Answer him.

Answer him? I couldn't even

understand him.

- You heard me. Answer him!

- All right. All right.

OK.

Oi! It's only an ordinary door.

Just talk normal.

This is Chief Superintendant Gibson.

Can you hear me?

Yeah, terrific.

Listen very carefully.

The building is entirely surrounded.

No possibility of escape.

Many of the officers on duty here

are trained marksmen.

I suggest you open this door,

throw out all weapons, and come out

of that room one by one.

No-one will be harmed.

Tell him, bullshit!

Do you understand me? Clearly?

Yeah. Bullshit.

Now tell him this ain't no ordinary

robbery. Tell him this is political.

That's a great idea, Stretch, but

you've left it a bit late, don't you?

All right.

Er, this is not an ordinary robbery,

this is a political act.

What's that supposed to mean?

Er, this is a demonstration for

equality and freedom.

And if you don't move away from the

door, you might get your head blown off.

Exactly what political group do you

represent?

Er, we more or less represent a

broad spectrum.

Oh, yes. Irish?

Erm.

Not so as you'd notice, no.

If we knew exactly what political

group we were dealing with,

maybe we could get somewhere!

Over to you, pal.

Tell him the Independent Rastafarian

Army.

Turn it in, Stretch. That's not

right.

Shut up, Winston. Let me do the

brainwork, OK?

Er, apparently they're the

Independent Rastafarian Army.

And what exactly are your demands?

There's an old lady in here who

needs a cup of tea. We need a doc

All right. All right.

Er, when we're ready to talk again,

we'll bang three times on the door.

OK, get back over there. Move!

- Move it!

- All right. All right.

Hey, Stretch, you never told me

nothing about

the Independent Rastafarian whatsit.

Look, you're wearing a Rasta hat,

ain't you?

Yeah, but It's only cos

I like the colours.

He could be wearing his Fulham

supporters woolly, couldn't he?

Yeah, you think it's a big joke,

huh?

Let me tell you something, Mr hard

man.

Your body's gonna be the first one

we fling out of here.

How about that for a joke, huh?

You've got the sh**ter. Makes you

top man, don't it?

Right on.

Except you ain't done too well so

far, have you?

There's 500 quid's worth of silver

all over the pavement.

It's hardly the great train robbery,

is it?

And you're the man who screwed it

up.

How are we gonna get out of here,

Stretch?

I'm thinking about it. What are you

crying for? You ain't a baby!

Here, Stretch, I just thought of

something.

What?

That Independent Rastafarian Army.

You know how the initials come out,

don't you?

IRA.

(CHUCKLES)

RADIO: News on the hour, every hour,

from LBC.

Independent radio news at nine.

Douglas Cameron.

Police have now sealed off an area

in West London,

where three people are known to be

held as hostages

by gunmen attempting to rob the OK

Laundrette in Dalton Street.

The gunmen were interrupted by a

passing police patrol.

A police spokesman said the gunmen

claimed to be members

of a political group, but so far

have not clearly identified

the aims of the group.

In other news, the pound rose

OK Laundrette? That's one of Alfie

Cavallo's places, isn't it?

Two Bacardi and Coke.

Yeah, probably done the job himself.

Hello, sweetheart.

- Vodka and slimline, please, Dave.

- Coming up.

Great. Just been to a wedding

reception. Alfie Cavallo's boy.

- Joking. Just been on the wireless.

- What, the wedding?

No, some firm turned over his

laundrette at Dalton Street.

They got hostages and all that.

I don't believe it.

Is Terry coming in? A bird over

there's been asking for him.

You waiting for Terry, sweetheart?

Did you say they've got hostages?

That's what they said. I'll see you

in a minute.

You Terry's mate?

Yeah. You bring anyone with you?

I could have, but Terry said you'd

be a bit old for my mates.

52 is young these days, sweetheart.

Me and Paul Newman, same age.

You don't look the same.

Come on. I'll take you to meet him.

He should have been here about an

hour ago.

You all right, love?

Yeah.

I was just wondering about my

washing.

I mean, the program should be

finished now.

They should be in a tumble dryer.

Know what I mean?

I don't like to think of them just

lying there.

All soggy.

I think that goes for all of us.

Look, no talking.

I've got to think.

- Excuse me, sir.

- Yes, Sergeant.

We've had a report from the CRO

computer at the yard.

Alfred Cavallo is apparently the

owner of the laundrette.

No convictions for 20 years.

McCann. Terence McCann.

- Bit of previous there, sir.

- Oh, yes?

Two years for GBH, and three for

attempted robbery.

And he's supposed to be the hostage.

Thank you, Sergeant.

Oi, you! Where you going!

- Excuse me, sir.

- Serious crime squad.

Evening, Super. What's the score?

- Who the devil are you?

- Arthur Daley.

And you've got my boy

Terry McCann in there.

YOUR boy?

All right then, my associate. And I

think I'm entitled

I'm conducting this investigation.

Now, see that incident van over there?

I want you to go and stand there.

And in a moment, one of my officers

will come and interview you

about any information

you might have.

I don't normally have a lot to do

with the police.

I said over there.

Got any 2p's, sweetheart?

Erm

10p.

Oh, yeah, fine. OK.

Hey, just leave it to Stretch,

all right?

You know what we're gonna do?

We gonna ask for a helicopter.

(PHONE RINGS)

Hey, Winston, answer it.

Hello.

Yeah, that's right. OK Laundrette.

It's for you.

I told her never to ring me at the

office.

Just say to it.

Hello.

Hello, Arthur.

It's Arthur Daley.

What? I'm very well, thank you.

How are you?

He heard it on the radio.

Apparently, they've got TV cameras

out there.

It's a bit hard to say, really.

Apparently, they want a helicopter.

Where to?

London Airport, then

a jumbo jet to Ethiopia.

I don't want to go there.

That's Africa.

It's in Africa

Our spiritual leader's

late Haile Selassie.

That used to be Abyssinia.

Don't tell me about Haile Selassie.

I know all about Haile Selassie.

He was to do with Mussolini,

before the w*r.

Well, who are they in there,

all spades?

Yeah, three of them.

You let three dopy spades

turn you over in the laundrette?

What was you? Boozed or something?

- Hey, have they got shooters?

- Yeah!

They got a strong shotgun,

that three dopy spades.

And they're gonna sh**t

somebody's head off

unless you come up

with a helicopter. Got that?

Tell the message right to the

Look, just get back

down there on the floor!

Right. Ain't got much of a telephone

manner, has he, young Arthur?

- Shut up! Get down!

- All right.

Hey, I don't wanna go to

Ethiopia.

No, me neither.

Well, that's where we're going.

That's where everybody's going!

How the hell will they get a

helicopter to land out there?

There's hardly room for my roller.

Hung up on me.

Shows the sort of people he's

dealing with. Hung up on me!

Is Terry always doing

this sort of thing?

No, of course not.

I look after Terry.

Don't worry about that.

He'll make a few bob out of this.

You and all, sweetheart.

Hang about.

Anyone interested

in the latest developments?

Police?

No, just say I'm connected

with the whole affair.

Yeah, and?

Basicly, what we have here

is a hostage situation.

We know that.

Did you know three men

had hijacked the laundrette,

and want a flight to Ethiopia?

(LAUGHS)

What's it worth

to get a picture of a girl

who's gonna marry

one of the hostages?

- Monty.

- Yeah?

Keep quiet, it's worth quite a bit.

- 50.

- 100.

- Just for us, though.

- Of course. Just for you.

Come on.

- Who's the hostage?

- Terry McCann.

- Boxing man, are you?

- No, who is he?

Very good middleweight in his day.

One of the best never to get

a title shot. Come on.

Stick out your boobs,

I'm trying to put you in the story.

Here is.

Could go a drink.

You look rough, mate.

How do you feel?

About how I look.

Here, Stretch, how about letting

Alfie go to hospital?

How about it? Come on.

He's a tough old bird, but he's lost

a lot of blood.

- What they gonna give me in return?

- They said no deals.

Well, it's tougher now for you, eh?

He could die, Stretch!

We don't get some fresh air,

we could all die.

Hey, you never told me

you was gonna use that g*n.

Think it was just for decoration,

huh?

I thought it was just to put

the frighteners on someone.

You two wanted to be gangsters, eh?

Yeah, but I didn't wanna k*ll

nobody.

What's the matter with you?

You going on their side?

I need some painkillers.

I think my jaw's broken.

Hey, we could get him a drink

and some food and some painkillers.

You two kids are really stupid.

Look, you ask the pig for something,

they want something in return.

They ain't gonna do us no favours.

At least we could ask.

At least it shows them.

Show them what?

Shows them that we care

about the other people.

That we don't really

wanna harm no-one.

He's right, Stretch.

You're doing it the hard way, son.

m*rder, you go in for life.

Attempted armed robbery, seven.

Come out in under five.

How come you know so much about it?

I used to keep bad company,

didn't I, Alf?

(CHUCKLES) Yeah.

It's nothing these days.

You keep bad company too?

I WAS bad company, son.

Did all my work 20 years ago.

It's when it was hard.

Look at them now.

All in the Open University.

Big Bob Whitney.

You know he's got a bleedin' degree.

I never knew that.

Yeah.

Sociology.

Still at the thieving, but now he

knows why he's doing it.

(ALL LAUGH)

It is funny, isn't it?

(ALL LAUGH)

That's how come

you're a hard man, eh, Terry?

Well, let me tell you something.

It ain't so easy for a black man

to go straight.

It ain't so easy for a black man

to make it the way you did.

Make it? Me?

Oh, yeah.

I've really made it, ain't I?

Minding for a bloke who's collecting

money out of washing machines.

Yeah, I've really cracked it.

Still, you never know.

I might get a job at the post office

at Christmas.

Right, Sergeant.

(GROANS)

Where you going?

I'm gonna talk to the Chief Super.

He might have brought your

helicopter and forgotten to tell us.

Oi! You haven't forgotten all

about us, have you?

Don't worry, Mr McCann.

We're still here.

Yeah, well, we've got

a few problems in here.

Mr Cavallo's none the better.

There's a geezer in here

who thinks his jaw's broken,

and I think we're suffocating.

Oi! Can you hear me?

Yes, I hear you, and the solution is

quite simple. Just open this door

Yeah, we know all about that.

"Throw out the g*n. Come out with

your hands up in the air."

The only problem is, the man holding

the g*n doesn't want to do that.

Why don't you just let me have

another word

with the man who's holding the g*n?

(GROANS) He wants to know

where his helicopter is.

I thought I'd explained quite clearly,

you people are not gonna fly

anywhere.

We've got medical attention

standing by.

Mr Cavallo will be treated

the moment he is released.

Yeah, all right. What about

some tea and food then?

You got anything to eat in there?

Yeah, of course we have.

We've got 500 packets of biological

washing powder.

Perhaps if Mr Cavallo is released,

we could arrange

to have some tea sent in.

- How about it, then?

- No chance, man.

Well, what about letting

the doctor in, if they agree?

Listen, the sh**ting

was an accident really.

The g*n just went off.

They didn't mean

to k*ll anybody or anything.

There was a sort of scuffle

and the g*n just went off.

Quite possible, but that must be

decided at the proper time,

and proper place. Now look, why don't I

have a word with the man with the g*n?

Sit down.

OK, mister.

You're talking to the main man now.

Hey. Tell me something.

Are you married?

In the matter of fact, I am.

Hey, misis, come over here.

Yes. Come on.

Now. We got a lady in here.

Say hello to the policeman,

Mrs Mayhew.

Hello, sir.

Good evening, Mrs Mayhew.

Now you think

I'm fooling around, er?

Now, you tell missis, you tell him

I got a g*n pointed right at your head.

You tell him to do a deal,

'couse you don't wanna die.

Go on, tell him!

Did you hear that, sir?

I think he means it.

Come alone just. Put that g*n down.

You know very well

we're not talking any deals.

You don't seriously

want to hurt that lady.

So just put the g*n down.

We can continue talking.

I've got my finger on the trigger.

Hey, Stretch, take it easy, mate.

Look, I know you fighting a w*r,

but she is not one an enemy.

She just a lady

who came in for her washings.

Take it easy, man.

I know you're a hard man

but you don't want to sh**t a woman,

do ya?

Oi, clock this, sweetheart.

Never mind page three. You're on

page one.

On the front. "Lonely woman who

waits in hope!"

Not very nice of me, is it?

Well, you're distraught, aren't you?

Terry's gonna be distraught too, when

he reads about you two getting married.

Yeah, I've only ever spoke to him

twice.

All the women and kids are asleep,

eh, Terry?

Don't you trust the other two with a g*n?

Not if you're awake.

Man, it was gonna be so easy, eh?

What the hell did you have to mess

it up for?

It wasn't your money.

- No, it wasn't yours either.

- So what?

He rips it off from the people.

I rip it off from him.

Listen. They put 50p in the machine,

and they sit and watch their

pillowcases go round and round.

They've got a choice.

You come storming in with a shot

g*n, nobody's got a choice.

That really got to you, eh?

You know what they really did?

They just kidded you into going

straight.

Wrong. They bored me into it.

I got fed up with people saying,

"Three years. Wormwood Scrubs."

Someone loses their dog, I'm in the

local nick for two days.

So now I just throw a few drunks

out of clubs.

Ask people to repay

their gambling debts.

Rent-a-muscle.

Easy hours.

But not a lot of what you might call

job satisfaction.

You let them beat you, man.

What are you gonna be?

Al Capone?

Yeah.

Bigger. Bigger.

You've got more chance of winning

the pools, son.

(PHONE RINGS)

It's got to be for me, innit?

Hello.

Yeah, I thought it might be you.

Terrific. It's like an Egyptian

brothel down here.

No, Arthur.

I know I've never been to Egypt.

What I mean is it's a bit close.

We're suffocating.

They haven't even sent any tea in.

They always send tea in, don't they?

What paper?

This reporter. His paper's prepared

to pay a very handsome sum

if he can do an interview

over the phone.

- Arthur

- I know all that.

But just listen to me for a minute.

We're talking about real dough.

Be enough to pay for their defence.

A nice bit in it for you.

Terry, listen to

what I'm telling you.

Oh, be fair.

I put a lot of time in on this.

Don't be so selfish, Terry.

I know your lives are in danger,

but that's the point of the interview.

It's a big story. Liz got our photo

on the front page this morning.

Liz who?

The bird you had to meet with

last night.

What's it got to do with her?

She was upset? Think how I felt.

Look, we ain't interested in your

girlfriends, all right?

What newspapers?

What's he talking about?

You talk to him.

You're the one who's running things.

OK, mister, you got a deal to make

with me, all right?

Look, I'm trying to explain to Terry

that as long as you don't talk to

nobody else,

this paper will pay you

Hello?

Hello. Can you hear me?

Hello?

Cut us off. Sit down.

Did you think I wasn't

gonna be bigger?

Well, that was the newspapers.

Good morning. This is Chief

Superintendent Gibson again.

How are we this morning, friends?

How is Mr Cavallo?

He's OK!

He's in a bad way, Stretch,

and you know it.

What about our helicopter?

Look, my friend. I've explained you

people are not travelling anywhere.

But we are prepared

to let you have some tea.

Oh, stuff your tea, man!

- Strech, a cup of tea!

- Yeah.

Look, the meeting's over!

We have nothing more to say to you!

Very well, sir. We've got

all the time in the world.

Look, Stretch. I don't see why

I can't have a cup of tea.

You're really stupid, Winston.

They put a drug in,

then what happens?

Or I open the door.

You know what they do, like they did

to the German aeroplane.

They throw in a grenade,

stuns everybody.

Truth is Stretch don't care.

What you talking about?

You don't care

what happens to anybody.

And them out there, they don't care

either, do they?

Cos whatever happens in here,

they're all right.

And all because you want to make a

name for yourself.

Big-time gangster, that.

(SCOFFS) Big-time gangster?

Listen, son. You couldn't even

break into a gas meter.

Shut up! Look,

he's working for the pigs.

All that's just for you two.

He's trying to make you

go against me.

But he's right, isn't he?

We've got no chance now.

You was always a coward, Cosmo.

Yeah, it's like Terry said, Stretch.

The law don't care.

They can wait forever.

- I ain't going to no prison.

- Or Abyssinia!

Winston, get the g*n!

Get the g*n!

Get your dabs on that g*n, son,

and you're in for life!

They're having a right barney

in there, Sarge.

Winston, knock on that door.

Give me the g*n, Terry.

You pissed so much beat

blood of b*stard enough.

That's all we need, didn't we?

Yes, what is it?

We wanna come out.

Just a minute. There will be

a count of ten,

after which, you may open the door

and throw out all weapons.

There will be a further count of

ten,

then the hostages will emerge one by

one.

Everyone leaving the room will have

their hands above their heads.

You will obey to the letter all

instructions as you leave the room.

Remember, there are trained marksmen

watching your every move. Understand?

Right, you get Stretch on his feet.

- Can you count to ten?

- Yeah.

Start counting.

One, two, three

ten.

I'm opening the door!

- Alfie. Mrs Mayhew.

- All right, love?

Listen, love. Don't stop and collect

your washing on the way out.

Sorry, mate.

Cosmo!

That jaw'll be all right.

Just give you custard and ice cream

for a couple of days. Go on.

Keep your hands well up.

Right, come on. Out you come! Get

your hands up!

Come on!

Walk towards the railings!

Come on! Speed it up!

We've all been up all night! Come

on!

Cross the pavement. Come on. Hurry

up.

Step off the kerb. Walk to the

middle of the road.

Go on, sunshine.

Right over to the middle. Now lie

down.

Lie down. Face first.

That's it. Next to the car.

Stretch your arms out. OK, Jack,

search him.

Come on, you. Keep your hands up.

Off the kerb.

Lie down beside him. Face first.

That's it.

Come on, Champ. On your toes.

I'll tell you what, Sunbeam.

Just as well you can't do a runner.

Lots of blokes out there wouldn't

mind some target practice.

Right, come on. Next.

Get your hands up!

Up to the railings.

Across the pavement.

Hurry up, will you?

And you!

Yes, you too, McCann.

Get down!

Right.

Search him, Jack.

What are they doing?

He's the one that got us out!

(SOBS)

Morning.

Well, that's a turn-up, innit?

Sorry?

You're gonna be

a prosecution witness.

Yipp. Who told you?

Mrs what's-her-name

and Alfie Cavallo.

Quite the hero, they reckon,

so we'll need a nice long statement.

Some other time.

You will probably end up with a

judge's commendation.

I wouldn't know what to do with it.

Look, Terry. Do yourself a few

favours.

You could do with a bit of credit

rating round here.

Yeah.

But right now all I want is a wash

and a shave,

and a nice big breakfast.

And then, I'm gonna do what you

do every day.

And what's that?

Sleep.

(SIREN)

Hello!

Oh, my darling! Terry!

I missed you!

Hold on. Hang about.

What's going on?

That's it, love. Now closer.

Yeah. And again.

This way a bit.

Arthur! What's all this about?

It's the joyful reunion, isn it?

(LAUGHS)

Yeah, lovely. And again.

You know the mistake you made,

Terry, don't you?

No. Tell me. What was

the mistake I made?

You should have stayed in the

laundrette another couple of days.

Got more press coverage.

Arthur, we were dying in there.

If I'd stayed any longer, you'd have

got me married, divorced,

and done for alimony. Poor old Alf

was on his last legs.

What are you talking about?

Flesh wounds. He was well pleased

with you, though.

I should be able to get a bit more

dough out of him for us.

Us?

Us.

Why would you be entitled

to more dough?

The aggravation I had.

The worry.

I was up all night.

Oh, yeah. Course you were, Arthur.

I'm sorry. I forgot about that.

Besides, you got all the publicity.

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