01x04 - A Tethered Goat

[bunniefuu]

I could be so good for you

Love you like you want me to

I could be so good for you

Love you like you want me to ♪

Hold on, hold on. Look. Oi, look.

If you stand there solidly your feet

are in the wrong position.

You'll get hit all the time. You've

got no way to move.

You should be able to bounce. Keep

your feet Look, I'll show you.

Luther, come and throw a few

right-handers at me.

Go on, Luther, mate.

Give him one.

That's typical, eh?

Right, look, I'll move. Right? Move.

He goes for me, I can move.

- Yeah, hit him!

- Hit him! Go on!

- Hello, Arthur.

- Hello, George!

Have you got a kid down here, then?

Yeah, my boy, Terry McCann.

Helps 'em out with their boxing.

- Now, ain't that public-spirited?

- Yeah.

- How's the little lady, then?

- Ah, a diamond, George!

- A treasure, eh?

- Hard like flint.

(CHEERING, SHOUTING)

He's still a bit tasty, your Terry,

isn't he?

He does all right by me, I reckon.

Dad, can I stay at Brenda's

tonight?

(SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT)

They say you don't mind

sub-letting him.

- Is that right?

- It depends on the price, George.

And the job. Nothing dodgy.

(SHOUTING)

Would I put you onto something

not strictly kosher?

Come on.

- Dad, can I?

- Shut it, Anthea!

What's the score, then?

There's a couple of punters use my place

in South Ken. They need a bit of muscle.

The money's good. Make a meeting?

Why not?

Make him have it, Terry!

Give him the old MEW!

- Ooh!

- (CHEERING)

Arthur.

Now, what exactly are you gentlemen

looking for?

It's not easy to describe

the sort of person we need.

Erm

Essentially, Mr. Daley, we're seeking

a man who looks the part.

- You know, a bit -

- Tasty.

- But not too -

- Not so much as to frighten people.

Sounds like my Terry.

What's the job?

Oh, simply to reassure

a visiting client.

Look after him.

Discourage anyone taking advantage.

We wouldn't want him

with any kind of er you know.

- A sh**ter.

- Oh, Terry never packs one.

We're strictly legitimate.

George knows that.

Then I think

we can do business together.

So where did you hear about this?

George Lewis down the youth club,

picking up his kid.

Saw you boxing, reckoned he'd get

you a job for a couple of days.

Who's George Lewis?

He owns an escort agency

and a club in South Ken.

You know, discotheque and supper.

Tables upstairs, some girls.

Is it all Hoorays and Arabs?

Ah!

Oh, that'll be 1.26.

I've arranged an interview for you.

- An interview?

- Mm.

What's he wants, a minder

or bleeding brain surgeon?

Here. Two o'clock at that address.

Yeah, all right. It's a bit dodgy,

though, isn't it?

Hm?

Wouldn't you think

they'd hire proper muscle?

Maybe they don't know

their way around.

Yeah, but maybe they do.

(SIGHS)

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

- Mr. Elliot?

- Yes.

I'm Terry McCann.

I believe Mr. Daley had a word

with you about me.

Have you been inside?

Look, just tell me what the job is.

It might be too high-class for me.

Carry a piece?

No way.

Anyway, what do you want a bodyguard

for, big boy like you?

- It's for a colleague.

- Ah.

A Mr. Sayin.

- French?

- Arab. Lebanon.

He's in banking. Commodities.

Very influential.

What's he wants a baby-sitter for?

Ooh, they get a bit paranoid

out there in the Middle East.

It's part of his contract.

Rented house, chauffeur, bodyguard,

manservant. You know the sort of thing.

Oh, yeah. My dad never travels

anywhere without 'em (!)

- He'll be here for three or four days.

- No.

The car's a Rolls-Royce,

and what we're looking for is

a driver-c*m-minder for Mr. Sayin.

Now, listen, I'm not poncin' around in all that

chauffeur's gear like somebody's pet monkey!

Personally, I never thought

monkeys could drive.

So long as you look tidy,

wear what you like.

- Any questions so far?

- Well, yeah.

Let's get it straight. Is anybody

liable to have a go at this Mr

Sayin?

Good Lord, no!

You can look forward

to a nice, easy three days.

Clock's stopped.

Don't worry.

The manservant will wind it.

Manservant?

Yes. Mr. Sayin will need somebody

to run the house.

Listen, if I'm going

to look after this geezer,

I ought to be there when you

choose this manservant.

Check him out.

We don't want a tea-leaf about,

do we?

No need to worry, Terry.

Your Mr. Daley is providing the

manservant, so he's bound to be OK.

- Where shall we start?

- Yeah, we want to check all the locks.

Doors, windows, that sort of thing.

All the light switches.

Creaking boards.

Anything that might put us in lumber

if somebody has a go at us.

(AEROPLANE ENGINES)

I can't see Elliot being too pleased

with you running around in his Roller!

Don't worry, Terry.

When the wind of good

fortune blows, you capitalize.

Opportunity knocks but once.

What are you going to say

to this geezer anyway?

- He's got a very busy program.

- He's a banker, right?

When did a British businessman,

e.g. me, allow an Arab banker

to walk in and out of his life without

relieving him of the odd hundred Gs?

(SIGHS) Now, why would he give you

100,000?

Listen, Arthur, I'm sorry,

but you're not in his league.

Terry! Oh, you do know

how to wound, you really do!

- Not in his league, eh?

- No.

Who looks after you, son?

Who got you a job

driving a Roller, when 3 days ago

you're barred from the snooker hall

- for a £6 debt?

- I'm getting late.

Don't forget the introduction.

"This is a Managing director

of Lockfast Securities."

I've got it.

I'll be over here, walking by,

sort of dead casual, you know.

Probably smoking a proper cigar.

That's really going to dazzle him,

Arthur (!)

The brown Roller,

right in front of you.

The boot's open.

Ah, Mr. Sayin?

- You have some identification?

- Yeah, of course.

You work for Mr. Sardi?

No, Mr. Elliot. On a contract.

A contract? I hope not.

No

Oh, I see. I see. A contract, yes.

The car's this way, sir.

Why, bless my soul!

Ah. Erm Mr. Sayin,

this is Arthur Daley,

managing director of

Sorry, mate.

Who on earth is that?

Lockfast Securities, sir.

Managing director.

Hah! My God, I'm being plagued by

scavengers. Please drive on at once.

(GLASSES CLINK)

Shh.

(SQUEAKS)

Steady boy, oi!

This isn't an adventure playground!

- What the hell are YOU doing here?!

- Bleedin' manservant, isn't it?

Arthur hired us. Some

Well, look alive, he's here.

Oh! Your Highness!

The Sheikh Sayin, I believe.

Salaam alaikum.

Alaikum salaam.

Yes. Yes, I I

I heard the effendi's limousine

pull up outside,

and I was sure

the sheikh would be grateful for

a refreshing glass of cognac.

That is kind, but it is

against my religion to drink.

Hm.

- Your name is?

- Dai Llewellyn at your service, sire.

Effendi, we are a bit rough

round the edges.

But for the tops in cooking

and the washing of bottles,

look no further.

Have no fear, effendi.

Dai is near.

Well, erm er Le-we-lin -

No, no, Llewellyn, sire.

Erm but be not troubled.

We Welshmen have great, great

difficulties with Arabian words,

like camel and oil.

- (CHUCKLES)

- I'm sure, yes.

Le-we-lin, I wish to bathe

in five minutes,

and I want no herbs or perfumes

in the water.

Also, please get my luggage

from the car.

Hang my suits. Put my shirts, etc.,

in their places.

And lay out my grey three-piece suit with

a white poplin shirt and a red silk tie.

Also, I shall require a bowl of consomme'

and a water biscuit for my lunch in one hour.

And I want this room arranged

as a study, with a desk there,

so, I can receive my guests

on a formal, business footing.

Also, I am not a sheikh.

Neither am I an "effendi"

or a "sire".

I am Bassam Sayin,

"sir" or "Mr. Sayin" to my staff.

Understood?

Luggage from car.

Bath filled with water, neat.

Grey whistle, white shirt,

red silk tie.

Soup, hardtack,

and the desk in this room.

No oriental titles,

just "mister" or "sir".

Got it, sir.

Your wish is my command.

Where, in the name of Allah,

did he come from?

Must be the agency.

All powerful body massage,

assisted shower,

topless, two girls topless or VIP.

I only happen to be a joint managing

director of this place, darling.

- Where is Franky?

- Look, are you some kind of nutter?

I'm gonna get Terry on to you.

- Terry is not here, isn't he?

- How do you know?

Couse Terry, like you sweetie,

just works for me.

- Where is she?

- Hi, Dal.

Come to inspect the investment?

Frances,

at the risk of industrial action,

will you ask this young lady

to smile at customers

and make the service we offer

sound less like a sentence

of transportation to Newgate assizes?

You heard the man.

Be kind to the punters.

Right, business, love. We've got

this rich Arab up West Ken.

Big house, wall-to-wall banknotes.

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

Come in.

Can I have a word, please?

Of course.

- What can I do for you?

- Something you said in the car.

- You asked me if I was carrying a g*n.

- Oh! Nothing.

Is there something

I ought to know, Mr. Sayin?

No, no, nothing at all.

I have some delicate negotiations

going on back in my country.

I'm sorry if I seem preoccupied.

You can always keep in contact

by phone.

My presence is needed,

to avert the complications.

Yeah, well, give me the simple life

every time.

You know politics!

What was its Byron said?

Politics?

I thought you were in banking.

And commodities.

You can't be a politician in my country

without one of two things.

- And what are they?

- $100 million or a private army.

Does this Terry McCann know

what he's doing?

Let's say he's fairly competent.

Good. It is important that Sayin is

provided with a respectable bodyguard.

- Have you heard from Beirut?

- Yes. Everything is fine.

- We can go ahead with our business.

- Good.

Now, love, remember what I told you.

- Are you sure he's good for a century?

- Of course!

Look, leave the finance to Arthur.

I just want to sweeten him up

for my little proposition.

All right, Arthur.

The things I do for you!

That's the spirit!

I see.

Did he leave a number

where he could be contacted?

(DOORBELL)

I see.

Thank you.

Oh, that would be Mr. Sardi.

He has an appointment.

Ah!

Welcome to the Wadi Llewellyn.

- Is Terry about?

- Ah, here.

- Arthur? What are you doing here?

- Where's the punter?

Mr. Sayin is in there.

No, no. No, I don't think

that's a good idea.

- What's this? Mutiny?

- No, but he's not expecting you.

He's waiting for a geezer called Sardi.

Dai, kindly announce to Mr. Sayin

that the security advisor

to Mr. Elliot and Mr. Sardi

would be grateful for a

Ah! You are from Mr. Sardi?

We are business associates.

May I come in? Thank you.

Boudin. One of my favorites.

If pressed, I'd have to admit

a preference for Cannelloni.

- Canaletto, surely!

- Indeed.

- What I can I do for you, Mr?

- Daley. Arthur Daley.

I understand you're in banking.

That is one of my interests.

Which is no doubt why you require

the services of my man Terry.

Danger of kidnap.

But London is not like Rome.

I have good reason

for requiring a bodyguard, Mr

Daley.

Of course, Mr. Sayin,

one can't be too careful.

With my Terry as your minder,

you're in good hands.

- Why

- Mr. Daley, I am a busy man.

- Please come to the point.

- I have private business interests.

Capital. Very much in a spoken-for

situation, so to speak.

The opportunity to make

four, four-and-a-half millions.

Oh! I am very pleased for you.

And?

And I am prepared to offer a businessman

of impeccable credentials, such as yourself,

the opportunity to make

a small investment, say £150,000.

I have not that kind of money.

I'll arrange a meeting to

familiarize you with the details.

- My accountant -

- Forgive me, but I could not contemplate

doing business with - forgive me -

a complete stranger.

Well, perhaps I can take you out to lunch.

Shall we say tomorrow? One?

I am afraid my schedule forbids it.

- Pleasure to meet you, Mr erm

- Daley.

- Goodbye.

- Perhaps some of your colleagues.

We are not

in the investment business.

Thank you for your generous offer.

- Well, at least we've made contact.

- Indeed.

- I'll just leave you my card.

- You are too kind.

- Day or night.

- Goodbye.

For the present.

(SIGHS)

- All right, chief?

- Hm

You know, Terry,

I have been to London before.

Yeah?

I stayed in Dorchester Hotel,

private suite.

Three bodyguards, all armed.

My first guest was the permanent

secretary at the Foreign Office.

What's gone wrong?

(INDISTINCT)

(DIALS NUMBER)

Yes. I want to call Beirut.

(RUSTLE)

(DOOR HANDLE CLICKS)

Dai? Are you all right?

Oh, sorry, boyo. Just getting the

sheikh's recreation sorted out a bit.

The what? Hold on, hold on!

Blinkin' 'eck!

Ooh, hi, Terry.

(BOLT CLICKS)

Oh, look, don't get the wrong idea,

boyo, now.

This is for Frankie's nerves.

You know how it is.

Her?! Nerves?!

- What's going on?

- A standard drill for your Arabesi.

Come this time of day,

they like to erm

slip into something casual,

right?

He'd think we were not on the ball

if we hadn't spirited

a little Turkish delight

into his boudoir, see?

All right, whose idea was this, eh?

You - get dressed! 'Ere!

Come on, come on!

Arthur's, right?

Well, he said

he'd be good for a ton!

(SIGHS) Now listen, Dai,

something's up, so lay off the gargle.

Up? What?

I don't know, but something's wrong, I can feel it.

- Bother, boyo?

- Yeah, maybe.

In the meantime, you get her to the kitchen

and spirit her out

when the coast is clear. Got it?

Bloody Arthur.

And Khalid, did you talk with him?

I'm not sure. There's no sign

of Sardi or the Englishman Elliot.

And no reply from the telephone.

Very well.

I shall call again tonight.

Everything all right, chief?

I don't know, young man.

I'm sorry about your friend Daley

and his business proposal.

Don't worry about it. He'll survive.

I don't understand how a fit,

bright, young man like yourself

should want someone like Arthur

around you.

Yeah, well, I've often

wondered that myself!

Heart of gold, though.

And he got you this appointment,

hm?

Well, through a friend of his who

met a couple of blokes in a club.

- Elliot and Sardi?

- That's right, yeah.

He said they needed a minder,

and here I am.

What's up, Mr. Sayin?

Don't you think I'm up to it?

No, no, Terry.

I think you are very able.

It's just

No disrespect

Well, out with it.

I think you're out of your class.

I'm sorry.

My enemies do not box fairly. They

are not English cricket players.

Enemies?

Hold on.

Elliot said he was hiring me

to baby-sit a nice old banker

who was fussy about his status.

He said you needed a minder

the same as you need

a big motor

or gold taps on your bath.

- Appearances.

- Elliot told you this?

Yeah, well, that was the drift.

But now it doesn't square

with the vibes I'm receiving.

You're in trouble, aren't you?

(SIGHS)

Frankly, Terry, I cannot afford

to be away from Beirut right now.

- Beirut? There you go again!

- I'm sorry.

Beggin' the bleedin' question.

Look, we're talking about enemies,

me being out of my class,

and all because I suspect

that I'm not dressed properly.

Dressed?

But your clothes are perfectly.

No, no, no.

Tooled up. Carrying a g*n.

Ah.

So, come on, then. Let's see

what we're getting into.

I'm sorry, I'm merely getting

impatient, that's all.

My hands are tied

until Mr. Sardi turns up.

- Is that the truth?

- Of course.

Now, if you will excuse me,

I have a great deal to do.

Where's Frankie? Has she gone?

Getting changed, yes.

Any more news on the bother,

Terry boy?

I dunno, but I don't like it, mate.

Listen, you just see that Frankie

gets out of here, all right?

Arthur?

Yeah, it's Terry.

No, everything is not all right,

mate.

Listen, this bloke Sayin

is into something really heavy.

Come on, Terry,

don't let's get paranoid.

The last time he came to London

he had three armed bodyguards.

Now, nice old bankers

don't go around mob-handed.

You erm

reckon there's danger?

I reckon, as you might say, Arthur,

that he's been lured here.

- From Beirut.

- Well, for what purpose?

For the purpose of topping him.

Ooh, gawd!

Are you there? Get out now,

and bring Dai with you.

Look, maybe I'm imagining it.

And maybe you're not.

Maybe you're not.

Look, I'll phone Garry and tell

I got to replace you.

I'll tell him I need you

for another job.

And listen, Terry. If there is any aggro

- bug out. Right?

If it comes down to sh**t - it's all off.

Good boy. I'll ring you.

OK. Thanks for

Thanks a lot, Arthur.

You are a prince.

Yes.

O, effendi.

Bad attempt.

A freedom of a noble no man.

Hard given way to telephone,

gold plated Fountain pen,

and pocket calculator.

By the way, did you know sir John Fielby

out, out there in the desert?

Lewelin, I am not a no man.

Now, what you want?

Yes. Erm

I was a prisoner of a Japanese,

you know, Sire.

Also, a valet

to the late Peter Rahman.

- Please, I am very busy

- Not another word, Your Serenity.

I am acquainted with a world.

Other parts, other customs.

- Is it nice?

- Lewelin.

Yes, yes. Look, a little diversion, Sahib.

A little

- 'pret al arabi e'

- I do not need

O, Sire, Sire. You see,

a good man servant anticipates

anticipates the needs of his master.

- Very well. Get on with it.

- O, yes.

No! Please!

This is unbearable.

Bloody Arthur.

'Usto mikhel'.

'Shookhran'.

'Ma'a salam'.

They can't find Sardi either, eh?

- Do you speak Arabic?

- Nah.

I read expressions.

Listen, I got read of a circus,

Dai's making a curry.

He is not a bad cook, as it happens.

So, what this all about?

Why should I confide in you,

young man?

Look, you maybe have a private army in Beirut.

But here in West Kensington you got me.

And I go to clap your got sh*t. (??)

When I asked if you had a g*n,

I was surprised you said "No".

Elliot should never have provided me

with unarmed 'chef-to-go'.

- Ay?

- Bodyguards. I had two.

All armed.

With submachine g*ns.

- This is not Beirut.

- But Elliot knows my life is always in danger.

And then he hired you.

And this lunatic man servant.

It's beyond my understanding.

Akhhhh

Aah!

Help! Terry!

Shooters. Oh, my god!

They coming in back in!

Aah!

(g*nsh*t)

Help! Terry! Terry!

- All right. This is one for thin blue line.

- What are you doing?

- Law. Whoever friendly London coppers.

- Don't call the police! Please!

I'm sorry, sunshine, this is my life

I worried about. Number one.

Except this academic now, ain't it?

Know what I mean? They cut the line!

It's standard practice before an attempt.

Oh, you are magic, you know this?

You really fun to be with.

O, Terry boy

Oho! Running, aren't we?

Come in and stand and fight like men.

What is going on?

Hey. That's the one I swatted

with washing up liquid tale.

- Ha!

- Well done Mike. Come on, let's get out of here.

Gentlemen, thank you.

It's appears I was very mistaken

about you.

Yeah, and we were mistaken

about you and all.

If you are a banker, he is

a bleeding appeal court judge.

Now, sunshine, you are on your own.

And if you see any of your pals, tell them

they better not shows around Northworth.

- I understand, Terry, how must you feel.

- Right, Terry. Let's go, boy.

It was very brave of you.

I mean, you were unarmed.

Yeah, this is out of my league.

See you around.

I understand. Er

be careful on your way out.

Cheers.

Come on, Terry. You are the part

of the huge thing, boy.

We can't just leave him there,

can we?

Oh, Terry, you are mad,

quick starting fool-boy.

Come on.

It's right, Arthur. sh**ting and everything.

That's why I take across the road.

You are joking, Franky.

You have to be joking.

Oh, my god.

Oh, my good god.

Listen, you star, babe,

and if the law stops you,

ever think of something.

Morning. Glad to see you.

Pleasant surprise.

You are in trouble, Denny.

Good lord!

My life is full of troubles.

Trouble like this

is what we call fatal, Mr. Daley.

You're annoyed. I can always tell.

Let me offer you a cup of -

Oh!

(GROANS)

Do you listen to the radio?

- No.

- Read the newspapers?

- You mean, you haven't heard?

- Heard what?

There was a small w*r yesterday

up in West Kensington.

- At No.16 Billingham Gardens.

- Oh, my gawd!

Oh, no.

Very well acted. Bravo!

- Now tell us what you want, what the deal is.

- Deal?

To return our client to us,

unharmed.

Ah. Er no. Look

I'm I'm not acting.

You've got to fill me in on this.

Your Mr. Terry McCann,

ace bodyguard,

and the manservant

have kidnapped our client.

Oh, no! This is terrible!

Why have the police

not been round here?

This is a diplomatic affair,

Mr. Daley.

Yeah, but, I mean, a kidnapping?

You could try the sympathy angle.

We prefer to handle it ourselves.

Now, you're a sensible man.

Perhaps we could discuss some

sort of financial arrangement.

Erm what er

What sort of financial arrangement?

Well, we could pay you£40,000

to have our client returned safely.

Come into my office, Mr. Elliot.

(ICE-CREAM VAN PLAYS TUNE)

Bloody good of your friend

letting us doss here.

Yeah, well, he owes me a few.

Wakey, wakey, Omar Sharif!

Grub up, boyo!

I imagine several people owe much

to you, Terry. Thank you, Llewellyn.

- Ta.

- Irons.

I assure you, Mr. Elliot,

that, if at all possible,

I shall arrange this transaction to

the satisfaction of all concerned.

If it's not possible, Mr. Daley,

you know the alternative.

Alternative?

- Understood?

- Perfectly.

Here, look, if they won't agree

to 40 grands, can I

No games, chump!

Just get Sayin here by

lunchtime, all right?

And I'll bring the money.

- 40 grand?

- Of course.

- Hello, Terry? It's me.

- Arthur.

Listen, just as we figured,

they've been round.

And they have come up with

a very interesting deal.

They want to buy chummy back

off you.

- No!

- Now, listen, Terry.

The man is offering

a great deal of bread.

5,000 smackers

for the return of Sayin.

- No!

- No, no, no. No, no, look, look.

I am prepared to split that

right down the middle.

Get lost, Arthur. It's no deal.

- Now, listen, we need -

- Just a minute!

I said listen! We need a motor.

Are you sure about the five grands?

Look, I'll maybe little push them up

to

Eight?

All right, all right. Just a thought

Ok, I'll get a motor over to you.

Give us the address again.

Yeah. Yeah, right, got it.

Take care, Terry. See you.

Thanks, chump.

And why don't you just drive on

over there?

We'll keep you a company.

Get notted.

What do you think I am?

If I leave you here,

it would be as a stiff.

You are not a nice man,

Mr. Elliot.

Not nice at all.

So, Elliot set us up.

Using Dal, me as stooges.

Right. Now what do we want know

from you, sunshine.

Is he any dealing with M.U.?

Also, other little incidentals like

how many?

And are they or not

coppers or something?

They are not policemen.

I entered this country

on a false passport.

Oh, that's wonderful.

In Beirut I am very respected man.

Well known.

I seldom leave the enclave held by my own faction

for we have enemies who wants to k*ll me.

Ha, ha. That's much I can vouch for, boyo.

Mahmud Saffir Sardi

is a member of our government.

He urged me to leave my people to come to London

to have secret meeting with the Americans.

He guaranteed full protection.

Which I got despite his efforts.

So, this Sardi double crossed you?

And Elliot and the glee club

are his boys.

And they have another

go-you-are-wrong nilpotence.

These lads don't give up.

I have to get back to my people.

If you could only get me

to the airport.

Here. That's no problem. My man

is on his way with the wheels now.

Not this one, I think.

The van.

Now, I think you'll travel in the back.

You will drive to the address

you wrote down

and remain in the van.

That's all you have to do.

Any attempt to signal or warn

McCann or his companions

and you will be shot.

Is that clear?

- Year. I got that.

- Right.

- 'there were two robberies'

- Do you think it'll go off OK, boy, er?

Shut up and listen.

'Reports of sh**ting incident,

which took place in the'

'area of North Garden

Kensington yesterday evening.'

'The police has recover two b*ll*ts

and traces of blood,

'which indicates at least two men

were injured in the affray.'

'Detectives are trying to trace

the occupants of the house'

'which has be rented to a Middle Eastern

government for some years.'

'But it the moment, they have

no leads as to their identities.'

Thank you, God, for that.

I must say, chief, I admire your cool.

The work has to be done.

You think, we get through airport

in safety?

Ai, hold it.

Look. Maybe you should call your embassy?

They'll do, wouldn't they?

Who know who to trust.

Sardi is probably in control of it.

I wouldn't be doing this now if you'd

pressed on with the as*ault on the house.

What are we paying you for?

You didn't say that, if you been there.

I thought, the bodyguard

was going to be a workover.

Apparently, we were wrong.

O, no, my friend.

You were wrong.

Come on, Arthur.

- That's the pub.

- Ok, let's hit it.

All you included, are you?

- That's what I pay you for.

- In that case we do it my way.

What's the problem?

Start getting at ruddy pub, isn't it?

Liquor, liquor everywhere,

not a drop to drink.

Be time enough for that

when this is over, mate.

I might even join you.

Patience.

I told you when to arrive.

Do you know a Welsh song?

Er David or Garry Guenn?

- Good god.

- Friend of mine in Beirut used to sing it.

- Oh, Welshman?

- An Indian, he came from Bombay.

Here he is.

Seems all right.

- Is he come out?

- Dead cautious our Arthur.

Right. Here is the plan.

Just sit like that.

Right. Go over it.

Winking indicates it means all clear.

Then we come down

and you pick us up to the door.

If any obvious bothers

then we are on our own.

Yeah. And get out as soon as you can.

Use the confusion.

If it If it's any sh**ting, Terry,

what what what do we do?

Cal 999.

I'm sorry, but I'm not get in crock

for you, Mr. Sayin.

Well, I understand.

- Window.

- Ah, yes.

- Yeah, all clear, Terry.

- Good luck.

- And thanks.

- Don't thank me yet, Mr. Sayin.

Right. You two get in position.

I really prefer not to be involved.

Listen. We take them as they crossed

the pavement to the van.

Nothing could be simpler.

The sh**ting will be done by my two men.

You and I are merely spectators.

He must get into the van.

Do not alert him in anyway!

- God, Del, you look terrible.

- Let's get this over with, Terrence.

- Terrence? Are you all right?

- Yeah.

Hop in please, Terry.

Listen, you shouldn't mix with a heavy mob

if it makes you ill.

Ah.

I thought, it'll be something like this.

I tell you what, Arthur,

you don't shake easy, do you?

You will invite Sayin into the van.

Any warning

will result to your death.

Alright, alright. Keep your 'ear on.

Drive to the doorway.

Come on!

Lovely Grab Abdul.

We have a goal situation.

When I am in Beirut,

I well send for you.

You come and be

my Chef to household.

- All clear, I reckon.

- You reckon?

Yeah. Bads or Rome.

Right, then.

Oh dear, oh dear, Arthur.

You beat a police bus.

It's police. Polizai, savi?

- No tricks.

- Would I trick you, my son?

That's a bit a bad luck, isn't it?

- Where you on your way to match or riot?

- He couldn't tell it to anyone.

- Yeah. Did I know you?

- Oh, maybe you do, maybe don't, squire.

I was contributing in a pineapple plant

without the orphans.

Oh, really?

Got a funny one, are you?

Right, you

Listen, mate, we got trouble,

for God's sake don't turn around, yeah?

They got shooters all over the place.

Two on the pavement,

one in the back of the van.

They are Arab t*rrorists.

Can you handle it?

Right, sir. Name?

Listen to you.

Blue shirt near the pub door

and a geezer with a slim bottom rankings.

Yes. Ok.

- Driving license?

- Oh! Of course.

Dai! Dai, over here,

come on, bring your mate.

Come on, come on. There is nothing

to worry about, just a small hitch.

Bad luck on you as I see it.

It's a job vehicle?

- Ah, well, it's an old wing.

- All, sir.

Right.

Get out! Get out!

What you got there?

- Where?

- On your shoulder.

Ooh! Oh. Get it off for us, sweetheart?

Very funny.

One of these guys, is he?

Yeah.

I recon you found this got a bit

a diplomatic immunity, love.

What about he have?

Nah, no, no.

Just a touch of an old a

- MNW.

- MNW?

Money in wallet.

McCann.

I've radio from the court

to take you down to the nick.

We have a lot of sorting out

to do.

Sorting out? Oh, listen,

I just run off a way how

Yeah. If you get a citation, er

then on you call it.

It's charming, isn't it?

I'll tell you what, look.

My motor is there. I don't want

to get nicked for parking, so,

- I could take these gentlemen down there now.

- All right.

- It's a Pictor Street nick, do you know it?

- Yeah, of course I do.

Ask for Detective Inspector Sanson.

I'll see you there, sir.

Cheers.

All right, get rid of this lot.

Gentlemen.

All right, Arthur. We just got time

to get you to the airport.

Airport?

What are you talking about?

Weren't you down the nick?

And on the right side of the counter.

- O, yes. He is right, boyo.

- What?

But but on the other hand er

We can't let our effendi here get on

on the false passport claim, no, can we?

False passport?

Terry, what have you got me into?

Oh, ghees you, Arthur, all right,

we better be off without him.

That do us nothing but trouble.

Bettings, ill*gal emigrants,

assisting of felony,

They wouldn't like that

down the Pictor Street nick.

And that DI is a right b*stard.

And what are you waiting for?

Come on, off you go to the airport.

Before the locals shout out on us.

There are other cars, Arthur.

- Boarding last, sir.

- Thank you so much.

Well, gentlemen, what can I say.

No offence, your Schick,

but I'd like to summon goodbye.

Well. Goodbye then.

And I hope,

you will not to be offended

I wish you to accept these checks.

One thousand pounds.

- Listen, Mr. Sayin, this

- You saved my life.

Thank you, boys. Oh, yeah.

I should just taking care of them.

And my driving ticket.

"Reckless" they said.

What a shady care to you

turned out to be.

Think I consider going in a business

with you.

But

(Sobs)

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