02x07 - Si tú puedes yo puedo

[bunniefuu]

I can't feel good if you're not well.
So that's why...

I put myself in your shoes.

Thanks, Samuel Samaniego.

That's me, Samuel Samaniego,
the friend of the crippled.

Cut! I don't think
we can call them "crippled."

The correct way now is "handicapped,"
is that right?

No, I heard it's "disabled people."

The correct way is "differently abled."
That's the one.

No. Listen. We're all differently abled.

They are specially abled.

It's not like we are superheroes.

Listen up. They are
people with diverse functionality.

Think "PDF."

So, the PDFs are compressed now.

One more time, but say it right.

Ready? Action!

Samuel Samaniego, the friend of...

sh*t. Too many options. I'm lost.

NOTHING TO SEE HERE

How is this going to work?

Will you meet the baby girl?

Want me to tell her about you?

I don't know how it will work.

But I do know you and the girl
will have everything you need.

You mean money?

I don't know how to take that.

I didn't want things to end like this.

Things haven't even started, Alexis.

What are you going to do?
Go back to your parents'?

Or is Charly going to take you back
after the way things ended?

Charly will understand if I'm honest.

That's when I knew
our friendship is bigger than any girl,

like you said all along.

So here I am again.

You do remember
that I can't see you smile, right?

Azul kicked you out, didn't she?

- No, it's just that...
- I don't care.

Now, go. I have things to do.

I have nowhere to go.

Sometimes, I wish I was more like you

and didn't give a sh*t
about where you're crashing.

Stay here.

- Thanks, pal.
- We're not pals.

This is pure solidarity
from a crooked man to a blind one.

Find a place before the end of the month.

I have to go to Bea's.

- Are you still in that campaign?
- Yes.

When the video of that dude leaks,
you'll be blamed too.

Why do you do it?
You want to prove that you won?

Okay, sir. You're right, you've won.

You can quit.
You don't have to do it anymore.

You know what?

You haven't noticed,
but the world doesn't revolve around you.

And?

You've always known better
and been on the right side.

Exactly!

Being on the right side,
how did that help?

But don't worry...

I figured out our role in this world.

What is it?

Being pitied!

Think about it.

We've been going south

since we quit being
what the world wants us to be.

We are those little angels
who teach normal people

that life can be easier
if they don't complain much.

Those who, for being born weird,
are immaculate.

So the dang companies
want us to wash off their f*cking sh*t.

It's what you do with Bea, isn't it?

Let me tell you,

politicians will also want us
for the exact same reasons.

After all, you and I are the same sh*t.

That's all we are.

We are f*cking catfish
whose only purpose, besides being ugly,

is to clean the sh*t
of all the other f*cking fish!

In the end, the catfish's work matters.

And the fish doesn't have to think
it's a shark to conquer the world.

So, this little tale
of conquering this humongous city

has been ridiculous for a while now.

Well, not for me.

Good luck with that, little catfish.

DISCA CLUB
A CLUB FOR ALL

It's good you broke up
with that good-for-nothing guy.

You don't need anyone to raise your child.

Yes, Grandma.

I didn't need anyone.

I know, Grandma.

- Certainly not a blind man.
- Stop!

And he's also fat.

Do you know how we met?

I ran him over.

Instead of reporting me, he said
I sounded like a good person.

And my ex-boyfriend beat him up.

And instead of leaving me,
he encouraged me to keep on rapping.

When he heard my laughter,

the one everyone judges...

he said it was his favorite sound.

So that fat, good-for-nothing blind man,
as you call him,

is the closest I've had to a family.

And I understand that it can't be easy
to be blind and be a father.

I don't want you
to speak ill of him ever again.

And he's not that fat.

Remember the interview
with that journalist at four.

The Samuel photo sh**t people
had some notes on the design.

It looks like
a Jehovah's Witnesses pamphlet.

CHANGING THE FUTURE TOGETHER

It should be more subtle.

At the lunch with Samuel
and his party tomorrow,

laugh at his jokes, no matter how bad.

Bea wants him to feel supported.

Don't worry. I'm used to bad jokes.

See that?

Look, Alexis,

in the commercial,
you take the condoms and say,

"So your excuse won't be,
'I didn't see that coming.'

Calichín condoms, the best condoms."

Okay.

And then Ali walks in,
I mean, comes in her wheelchair, sexy...

- ...and says...
- Excuse me, Bea.

For Samuel and Charly's scene,
any specific crutches?

The worst ones.

If he falls off,
we'll have photos of Samuel helping.

Got it.

We'll go with the ones that hurt
the armpits, the tiny ones.

I was saying...

- Bea...
- Yes.

I was thinking...

That politician's campaign,

what if instead of using Charly,
you use a disabled puppy?

Can you imagine, instead,

a Xoloitzcuintle with a single crutch?

I would forgive that politician.

Okay. I'm not following.
You want to take away Charly's job?

Just this one.

Easy, there is room for everyone.

I wanna save him.

Save him?

Do you know how much Charly is getting?

Do you know what the chances are

for people like you
to get a job like this?

Do you?

And now you want to save Charly.

I am the one saving you.

I am the one giving you a voice
in a world where no one notices you.

For God's sake, how ungrateful.

You give us a voice,
but don't even listen to us.

Do you really think
the only thing we have to say

once we are noticed

is "Calichín Condoms"?

You'd be surprised
at how much more we have to say,

but it's not relevant. It doesn't pay.

Money is all you care about.

Is your tantrum over?

You're out.

Finally!

No, Bea...

I need the job, you know?

I... didn't choose my words carefully...

You should've known better.

Security!

- Get him out.
- Bea?

I got this.

Move it, whiner.

Who do I carry?

Don't worry.

He'll do his stand-up like he wanted to.

With whom?

I can't really help you.

I can't risk my job.

As if the subway was important.

And you?

What about me? My arms are broken.

Can't you see? Sorry.

Can't a month go by without a problem?

Mugging is no longer my thing.

I have to look after him. Look.

Don't go.

Did you find a venue?

No. Which is why I need you.

Charly used to do that, right?

Charly f*cked it all up. I don't need him.

He just wanted to help you.

You don't shut your friend
'cause he screwed up.

- He's not your helper.
- Whose side are you on?

Aren't you my friends?

Yes, that's what we thought too.

But how long has it been
since you came to visit?

Did you even ask
if we need anything for the kid?

No, right?

You just came in and only belittled us.

If someday we screw up,
or another Bea comes, what will you do?

Tell us to beat it, right?

I'm sorry, but being a dad
doesn't let me keep an eye on others.

Shut up. What does that mean?
I'm less of a dad than you?

Or what? I have to keep an eye on you?

Exactly.

Look, bro.

I have to raise this child too, huh?

Put my heart into it, try hard,
'cause I know one thing.

I don't want him to think
I didn't try hard.

You know what? f*ck it, then.

- I don't need you, I have other friends.
- Who? Adal?

I don't mean Adal.

So I come to my best friend, Adal. You.

Oh, dude. Oh.

Sure, your best friend.

I message you asking for advice
to be a better blind man,

and you don't answer.

Last time, you hung up on me.

Your best friend.

Adal, I need the job.

If I wasn't desperate,
I wouldn't bother you.

You are the king of stand-up.

You can help me find a bar
for my show, right?

Ha! A bar! Seriously?

Dude, come on.
If you move, make some noise, okay?

I've never performed in bars.

I perform in venues
for eight, nine, ten thousand people.

Of course, you're the sh*t.

But if you help me,

I will be the blindness master
you've wanted from the start.

I'm going to make Al Pacino
in Scent of a Woman look bad.

And remember Jamie Foxx
playing Ray Charles?

He's going to look amateur.

Your blind man

will redeem yourself from all
the crappy films you ever made.

Okay, a couple of them are not that bad.

Adal...

I need you to help me find a bar
for my show, that's all I need.

There's this bar that might work.

This is not working.

Let's do this, that's your side,
and this is my side of the room.

We don't need to share everything.

So what happens when you need the kitchen?

Oh. Okay, there are a few exceptions.

Like when you want
to turn on the water heater.

Deal?

Okay.

Deal.

BREAKING MOLDS

THE INCLUSIVE PLAN

Look at that!

Wow! What a stance,
such poise, what a model!

You can't even tell...

I mean. Yes, you can tell. You can.

It's good that you can.
No need to hide the...

I mean, you look good.

- Congrats.
- Thanks.

So handsome, huh?

After a few drinks,
I could give you a shot, Charly.

A drink that makes you blind.

They taught us how to model and all,
gave us cool clothes. Check the shoes.

Of course. Photoshop can fix it all up.

- Stop it, can you calm down?
- Come on.

I know you're on his side,
but don't lie to him.

I've felt his face. He's ugly.

Are you blushing?
Oh, no. You're just jealous.

Jealous? Me? C'mon!

I'm not a jerk damaged by a corrupt man.

Ah, but apparently, you are a moron

who leaves his pregnant girlfriend,

and lives with a guy who can't stand you.
Don't see that either?

- You crooked m*therf*cker!
- Wait and see.

Shut up, man!

Get out, jerk!

- You and your crooked mother!
- Stop it, there are children.

- Bea?
- I need you here right now.

- What happened?
- I'll explain later, hurry.

Okay, I'm on my way.

What is it? All good?

All good, of course, it's Bea.
See you soon.

"See you" is for people who can see.

You go straight, don't turn.

- f*ck you!
- as*h*le.

He closed it very hard.

You won't come to my show.

No way, Alexis. I'm not taking Junior

to hear your jokes
about disabled people cl*max.

They're not that dirty.

So I find her G-spot,
and it was in braille.

You're gonna smash it.

You think?

Yes, too bad I have the fashion show.

Hurry! Ten minutes, please!

Stand-up is all I have.
I can't screw it up.

I know you were fired
because of what I told you.

You tried to help a friend.

I thought Charly just looked dumb,
but he really is.

He can get canceled if he wants.

He helped me
by pushing me out of that agency.

- You should quit too.
- Why?

They are using you.

For modeling like any model?

Like a pitiful model.

Aren't you tired of us being used
as a reminder for people

to see their life
is not as shitty as ours?

I don't think people pity me
for modeling skirts.

Even if I am in a wheelchair.

It's different from doing
an accident prevention ad.

"If you don't want to end up
on two wheels, don't drink on four."

Imagine how it felt to tell people

that the worst thing in life
is ending up like me.

That is being pitied.

But this...

This is different. It's clothes, shoes.

So when a little girl in a wheelchair

sees a billboard of me wearing all that,

she can say...

"I can do that too."

Good thinking.

I have also been using you
to feel less lonely.

I'm sorry.

Why don't you go look for her?

She wants nothing to do with me.

For your grandmother.

Thanks.

How is she doing?

Not very well, actually.

I sent you meditations on Spoti.
Did you listen to them?

For decreeing health.

Yes, I haven't had the time to decree.

Where's Alexis?

He's helping you, isn't he?

We are on... on a break, a pause.

I mean...

Look, this may look
like I'm taking advantage...

It looks like you're taking advantage.

Maybe... a little.

But I know that right now
is when you need someone the most.

We can take shifts taking care of Grandma
and think about our daughter.

You don't have to do this alone.

Okay, it sure looks like
you're taking advantage.

I didn't mean this to look like...

No, but thank you.

I'm sure that someone
will appreciate all this deconstruction,

healing, that you use to f*ck...

Make love.

Okay, I'm not her.

I have to get back.

It's okay.

Do me a favor.
Listen to the Spoti meditations.

I hate meditation.

No, actually, I hate meditation too.

INTENSIVE CARE

Don't worry. I'm on top of everything.

The troll center praising Samuel
is no longer available.

sh*t!

Okay, on top of almost everything.

- I'm here, what do I have to do?
- Stop.

This one or this one?

Vertical stripes,
so he looks more crooked.

Let's do his hair to the side
to create a zigzag effect.

- Perfect.
- Done.

What's wrong?

We planned for next week

the inauguration of the statue
for the functionally diverse.

Like the disabled deserve a statue.

But the video of Samuel
tossing the little person just leaked.

So we had to reschedule for today.

You have to be with him.

Okay.

Don't worry. I'll be your support.

It's a metaphor.

You're back in the game, Alexis.

To prove you got this
and you don't need anyone. You hear me?

Are you talking to me?

Are you talking to me?

We could create a character
called Roblind De Niro.

sh*t! You startled me.
How long were you there?

Almost since you took it out to pee.

f*ck off. That's harassment.

So are you ready, my child?

More than ever.

I want to show them that I got this.

If you can, so can I.

This is a tribute from my borough
to all the ill people that...

The functionally diverse people
who show us that they can do it too.

No doubt, a great cultural contribution,

and inclusive,
from our future borough president,

the always...

forgivable Samuel Samaniego.

Questions?

Related to the statue only.

Not related to the leaked videos?

Perfect, this conference is over.

Thanks for coming.

Comment on the dwarf-tossing?

Please show some respect.
They're called short people.

You toss them!

- Isn't it inconsistent with the video?
- You got inspired by The Wolf of...?

Enough!

The person in this video is not Samuel.

Actually, it is me.

- Charly!
- Give me a second.

He's not the Samuel standing here,
but a Samuel from ten years ago.

- Don't change the strategy.
- Trust me.

And yes, maybe back then,
he was an obnoxious,

ignorant, horrible person...

But who hasn't been one at some point?

Who hasn't been that or worse,
and had the courage to change,

to learn, to grow enough

as to have me as one of his best friends?

I also have a friend with brown skin.

And so, let's stop criticizing people
for their old mistakes,

and applaud the virtues...

Wait!

That video is not from ten years ago.
There's an iPhone 15!

No one came, really?

No, it's full of mute people,
that's why you don't hear them.

It's evident no one came!

I'm going to check outside.
Maybe two or three lost souls arrived.

You will only find
three ladies of the night.

Three prostit*tes.
I invited them to join the show.

They refused.

You only had one job, Alexis. One job!

To promote this.

But I did do it.

{an8}ALEXIS LITTLE EGG EYES RELOADED
TONIGHT / INDIE FORUM

It's the first time I did it alone.

Hey, just look at me.

I'm sorry.

Why didn't you invite
your girlfriend, your parents?

I pushed them away.

Nice.

Great.

What, Charly?

Hey, Bea. Why don't you pick up?

I'm at a bar near the monument.
Are you picking me up?

You ignored the strategy
without asking me.

Stay on your own for now
so the agency doesn't get hurt.

Keep a low profile these days. Bye.

Can I get you anything?

What's your strongest drink?

Dude!

Charly's trending!

No way!

- But in a bad way
- No way.

Yeah, look!

"Opportunist!"

"Sellout!" "Traitor!"

sh*t! What happened?

Let me call him.

Whenever they ask me

what would I pick
if I had the chance to see for one day,

I say, "Nothing."

I don't know what that is.

You can't miss what you never had, Adal.

But I did have friends.

And I do need them.

That's deep!

Use that!

f*ck off! What do you mean?
This is important, Adal.

This is too.

Listen, comedians like us
use our misfortunes as inspiration.

I built my whole career
on my misfortunes.

This would be about a guy
who's not only blind but an as*h*le,

told his friends to beat it,
and didn't dare be a dad,

or be there for the woman he loves.

Plenty of stuff.

Plenty.

I think we could even do something bigger.

Bigger?

I'm supposed to be good at stand-up,
and we couldn't bring in a single person.

Look at this place.

What a shitty night.

Okay, Alexis...

What success taught me is...

Get out of town!

...that it doesn't matter.

If you can't share it
with people who love you,

even one or two people,
it's not really worth it.

Tonight, this place,

could have been crowded. Packed!

And it would still be a shitty night.

Incoming call. Maya.

Incoming call. Maya.

I'm a moron.

No, worse. I'm an as*h*le. You know why?

Because I sold out
to those I promised to destroy.

Do you understand?

No.

Not really.

I have no one, I am alone.

And...

Is it a good picture, as*h*le?

Do you want to take another one
to make a f*cking meme

and giggle behind the screen?

Take one right now!

Laugh in my face
if you have the ba*ls, okay?

Oh, you too?

Why don't you do some stories?

Yes, it's me!

The f*cking crooked man
who betrayed his community and himself.

Charly!

Blind face! Why are you here?

Maya told me you were here.
I came to get you.

I don't need your help.

Keep the change.

- What are you doing, dude?
- Getting in my car!

No way, m*therf*cker!

You're drunk, you can't drive!
Let's get a cab!

Stop telling me what I can or can't do!

You hate that too, don't you?

What are you doing here?

I'm staying with you!
Do you wanna crash? Let's crash together.

Come on, crooked Perez. Come on!

- Okay. Let's crash.
- What are you doing?

- No. Stop it! No.
- Let's crash, moron.

What are you doing? Stop!

Why did you come?

To make fun of me?
To say, "I told you so"?

Is that what you want?

You were right. I'm a f*cking sellout
and the joke of half Mexico.

I'm scared. Slow down!

Scared? I am scared.
I don't know what to do with my life,

and I keep falling,
without seeing the f*cking bottom!

Are you okay?

I think so.

Okay, this is the bottom.

Please start. Start.

Please.

- What are you doing here?
- Hop in!

Let's use this car I borrowed from my pal!

We can't. Do you hear the police cars?
They'll chase us.

They won't chase us if someone stays.

- Go.
- What?

Go, as*h*le!

But I can't let them blame it on you
for crashing.

They won't blame the blind man.

They will blame
the as*h*le who went viral.

You'll be worse.

And I'm an as*h*le too,
but with a criminal record. I can't stay.

- Get out now!
- Move it, get in now!

Thanks, bro.

Incoming call. Azul.

Incoming call. Azul.

Incoming call. Azul.

Alexis, I need you to come over.

Tata's in the hospital.

Get out. Hands up!