02x01 - Phone-y Business

[bunniefuu]

From the Penn and Teller
Theater in Las Vegas, Nevada,

here's our host, Jonathan Ross.

Thank you so much.

You're very kind.

Welcome to a new season
of Penn and Teller: Fool Us,

a show where,
when someone is flipping the bird,

it usually just means a dove.

Now, this season, I've been asked

to adjust my language,
to be a little less British, and I get it.

Where I say "Lift,"
I know you all say, "Elevator."

Here, you say, "Trash can,"

while I would say, "Rubbish bin."

You say, "Dentist," and, well,

we don't really have a word
for that in London.

Now, the whole idea tonight is
for our acts to do a trick

so flawless that Penn and Teller
can't figure it out.

Any magician who can fool them
earns the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity

to perform here in Vegas alongside
the dynamic duo of magic.

And here they are,

accompanied by some of Bally's
beautiful Jubilee showgirls,

it's Penn and Teller.

Girlfriend is fierce tonight.

That's what I call a show business start.
Let's get going.

Gentlemen, take your seats.

Run down to those chairs,
so the show can begin.

Thank you, ladies.

Now, it's that time I present
to you our first potential fooler.

Hey, I'm Brian Brushwood
from Austin, Texas,

and I tour with a punk rock magic show.

A third of my show is 100% real.

I really do eat fire,
I really do hammer a nail in my nose,

but at some point,
the show secretly transitions.

It's not until halfway through

cutting off my tongue that people realize,

"Wait a minute, it's a magic show."

I remember being in second grade

when I saw Penn and Teller's
first magic show.

I had never seen magic be cool before,
and it blew me away.

I can honestly say that if there
was no Penn and Teller,

there would be no Brian Brushwood.

This is my chance to honor
the people who made me

the magician I am today.

Let's meet him.
Will you please welcome, Brian Brushwood.

Howdy, folks, my name is Brian Brushwood,
and I need a guy from the audience

who's willing to do absolutely anything.

Who's my guy?

Wait, you're a screamer.
What's your name?

- Sean.
- Sean, get on up here.

Let's make some noise for Sean
as he comes up here onstage.

Good to see you, buddy.

Let me get you over on this side.

Here's the thing. I need somebody willing
to do absolutely anything,

because we are going to do
a vanish and commit a crime.

Like all good crimes, it involves money.

You got 3,000 $1 bills to pick from.

Reach in there, pick any stack you want.

You happy with that one?
You want to change your mind?

Last chance.

- I think this is it.
- Okay, good.

Do me a favor.
I want you to riffle through

the front of that stack,

make sure all the serial numbers
are different.

Everything look good?

- Yup.
- Perfect, hold it in your hand

with the backs on top.

I want you to pull off
the top bill just like so.

Hold on to that one. That one's yours.

The rest I want you to give
to these gentlemen,

which my lawyer promised me
is not technically a bribe.

Just toss that on over there.

Thank you.

Every vanish involves
four fundamental aspects.

So we're gonna start by having you

print your name nice
and neat over the back of that bill

right over the "O-N-E" on there.

Neatness counts.

Make sure it's nice and small.

Every vanish has four
fundamental characteristics.

You have to have an object
selected, identified, lost,

and then found.

We've selected a single dollar bill.

We are identifying it
with your name printed on it.

Now we're gonna go a step
farther with the serial number.

I want this half of the audience

to remember the first half.

Read the first half of the serial number
nice and loud to these guys.

"G-0-3-1-0."

Say it back.

G-0-3-1-0.

Remember that.

Second half for these guys.

"9-2-1-3-E."



Perfect. Sean, I want you to fold that.

With the serial numbers on the inside,
fold it in half,

and then I want you to fold it in half
a second time.

And then finally, fold it
in half one more time,

so you have a nice little square,

one eighth of a bill looking at you.

Everything look good?

And... Square one eighth of a bill.

Perfect, boom!

Two aspects done, have an object selected
and identified.

This is where stuff gets interesting.

We are going to vanish your bill.

Now, here's the thing.

If you believe in magic,
what you are witnessing

is an astonishing vanish
in which your bill

is vanishing into a magical
puff of plasma.

If you don't believe in magic,
you're witnessing a violation

of Title 18, Section 333,

punishable by up to $100 fine.

And six months in prison.

Perfect. Now, uh,
it's still there, though, right?

We got the ashes,
so I'm gonna chop this up

like I'm a methed-out Rachael Ray.

There we go.

I'm gonna move these right inside there.

Everything's looking good to me.

Now we get to the most important part.

Sean, do you prefer apple sauce
or chocolate pudding?

Chocolate pudding.

Dude, man of my own heart.

Here we go. We're gonna grab this.

We'll just give it the...

Oh, that's lovely. There we go.

I'm gonna mix this up here.

Some people think I'm doing,
like, a magic ashes switcheroo,

to which I say, "That's dumb."

Okay, do me a favor.

Just taste that, taste it.

Tastes fine, right? Nothing weird?

Yeah, do me a favor, polish that off.

Something amazing's gonna happen.

The faster you eat that,
the louder they'll cheer, watch.

It's fine, right?

Three phases down.

We've had an item selected, identified,
and I would say

very thoroughly lost.

I think we can agree, Sean,
that at this point,

it would be extraordinarily difficult
for me to retrieve

your dollar bill.

Yup. Definitely.

I want you to walk around.

I want you to walk around
to the front of this gurney.

Plant your butt right here.

You're gonna put your head
down at this end,

your feet down at the other end,
which sort of happens by default.

There we go.

And I want you to take a deep breath,
pull your shirt

all the way up to your chest.

- All right.
- Hello, ladies.

Right on.

Relax, relax, relax.

You're flexing.

And in fact, I want you to rest
your arms right there on top.

Perfect.

And I apologize, this...
I gotta wash you down.

This water's a little bit cold.

- Here's... Sorry about...
- It is cold.

All right, this part will feel
a little bit weird.

Okay.

All right.

Hold on. Let me get inside.

There we go.

That can't be good.

Grab a little bit of...

That's weird.

Wait, why would you...

Oh, no, wait, wait, wait, Sean.

If... If you look inside
the, uh, balloon,

there's something in there.
Do me a favor, I want you to...

I want you to pinch that right there.

I'm gonna try to cut this...

- Actually just with my teeth.
- Lot of lube there.

There we go.

That's yours to keep.

Sean. First of all,
do you guys remember the first half

of the serial number?

G-0-3-1-0.

G-0-3-1-0. What's the second half?



Close enough for me.

Finally, Sean, can you verify,
is that your name printed

in the middle of the bill?

That's my name.

Let's hear it for Sean.
He absolutely swang it.

Fantastic job there, buddy.

I'm almost certain that'll wash out.

- Sean, everyone.
- Sean, everybody.

What a sport.
Nice work, thank you.

Well, that was incredible.

Where did you study medicine?
'Cause that was quite something.

The Philippines, right?

I think... I don't know how you did this,
but I think I now know

- how Penn lost all that weight.
- That's right.

So the guys are deliberating now.

Penn and Teller are talking
about what they've just seen

and whether they know how it's done.

How confident do you feel
about fooling them, Brian?

Uh, on a scale of one to 10?

- Yeah.
- Uh, negative five.

I just want to make them smile.

They're smiling right now.

Well, that's the worst smile
I've ever seen in my entire life.

Looking over at Penn and Teller,

I can see they've come to
the end of their deliberation,

so I'm gonna throw now to Penn
and find out how well you did.

- Penn, what do you have to say?
- We are huge fans

before you even came out here,

and the bribe did not hurt.

We did psychic surgery,
which is what you were doing there,

on Conan O'Brien's show,

and Teller did the moves
to reach in and pull the stuff

out of Conan's stomach, and, uh...

I think you did it better.

I'll accept that.

We do know... We do know how that's done.

We also... We have a pretty good
idea of the serial number.

We don't want to give away too much there.

- Sure.
- But you used a technique

at the very end to have him
verify the bill...

- Sure.
- ...that is one of my favorite

techniques in magic.

Could you have made it work
with your name as well

or with just Sean's name?

Yeah, I think so.

I mean, some people want to see
the bill after I'm done.

Yeah.

And are you happy?

You're convinced they know
what they're talking about?

They know what you know

- that we don't necessarily know...
- Oh, they know that I know

that they know that we all know.

That's... Well, as long as you
know that, then I know

that you're happy to know that.

Yes.

Ladies and gentlemen,
it was a great act, wasn't it?

Mr. Brian Brushwood.

- Thanks, guys.
- Nice job, Brian.

Thank you so much. Take care.

Let's meet our next act.

Hi, my name is Simon Pierro,
and I'm the digital magician,

and this is my helium app.

Digital magic is taking advantage
from the best of traditional magic

and blending in some
of the technology that people

are not familiar with.

Oh.

I love any kind of honest reaction.

Some people freak out,
some people silently

just being puzzled. "What are you doing?"

I really laugh when people say,
"What you did is clever,

"and I haven't seen it before."

In my magic, I use sleight of hand.

I use misdirection.

I use basically everything that I learned
from traditional magic.

The great thing about technology
is that it's growing so fast,

so whatever new features come out,
I will make a magic trick out of them.

We stand on the exciting
frontier where technology

and magic meet.

Our next performer,
who lives in Berlin, refers to himself

as a digital magician,

which was great news for us,
since we didn't have to fly him in

from Germany, we just downloaded him...

...legally.

Please welcome Simon Pierro.

Thank you.

First of all, it's such a great honor.

You... You invited me over
from Germany to perform for you,

and I brought my tablet computer with me,
because the moment I bought it,

it fooled me all the time.

So, for example, if I go through
like this, this might happen.

But don't worry.

What I learned, it's not broken.

Can you see that string?

Yeah, can you?

So, thanks to this...

I stop it...
I have access to a whole new set of apps,

and they're all a bit better
than the old ones.

So, thanks to this...

I can share some pictures
from my last vacation.

It's just about 2,000.

But don't worry,
I won't show you all of them.

Just got the overview, and that way,

I can easily print them.

That is me.

For the tennis players out here,
this is a perfect app to have.

If you just bring it
to the right size, like this,

you can easily use your tablet

as a tennis racket.

This might even save you
some bucks because you don't have

to buy a new ball again.

You can simply recycle

by putting it back,
and whenever you want to,

all you have to do...

And that's easy to remember...

Just do a little double tap.

There we go.

Everyone complains about the weather,
but nobody does anything against it,

so I thought,
"Let's create the right weather app."

Have a look at her hair, please.

Most frequent asked question...
No, I cannot take her out of the iPad.

Anyway, when I was invited to come here,
I thought I should bring you

something from my...

From my home country,

and what we are famous for, and now,
I know you guys,

you don't drink, but at least...

I brought the app with me,

and it looks like this... For the moment.

But, well, as you don't drink,

I have my favorite drinking buddy with me.

Please, are you ready, Jonathan?

- I'm ready to go.
- Please.

Ready to go.

Let's fill it up.
Lift it up one time, and...

It's running.

Good beer.

- Can't wait.
- Yeah?

- You want to taste it?
- Yeah.

Oktoberfest.

Wow.

That's good beer.
I'm gonna go and finish this.

So, that is my favorite app,

but there's another one
that is pretty popular these days.

It's about a selfie.

So, what I thought I would do now,
I go into the audience,

and there are lots of beautiful people
here tonight.

Let's have a selfie, please.

If you could, you two,
on a selfie with me,

that would be nice.

And smile.

Make a couple of them to make...

To be sure.

And I actually created
a special edition for you,

which I call,
"The Penn and Teller Selfie App."

So, here it is.

All I have to do now is choose
one of the pictures.

That one looked pretty good.

But this is my iPad.

This is my tablet computer.

This is, you can say,
the tablet computer of my grandma.

It's a picture frame.

And this is how I share
my pictures with her.

Let's get ready.

One, two, three.

There it is, but now...

One second, please.

I would just like to open that up,
because this is not a tablet computer.

This is a real picture.

This is you and me.

And there's my show for you.

Simon Pierro,
ladies and gentlemen.

Simon, that was fabulous.

I think everyone loved the fact
that it's so modern,

it's so up-to-date,
but are there any old techniques

in there that you've just
updated, or is it all new stuff?

Well, usually, I take all the techniques
from traditional magic that can help me

to improve my digital magic,
so I'm taking the best

- from two worlds, basically.
- Well, it was fabulous.

I think that was probably
the first digital magician

we've had on the show.

Penn, Teller?

Absolutely new.

Everything's fresh.

You can call it film to life,
but it's more that the tablet

is your magic wand.

- Yes.
- I kind of love that,

that everything comes out of that.

We were very good friends
with Jerry Andrus,

and I don't know how important
he was to you as an individual,

but his ball bearing routine...

You owe a lot in the tennis ball routine
to that.

It's wonderful stuff,
but the trick that k*lled us,

which fooled us completely,

is that final trick.

It's an absolute mind-blower,
and we had no idea about it

when we first saw it.

And that's the problem.
Magicians watch other magicians,

and we watched it,
and we were both fooled by it.

Then we were able to figure out
this brilliant trick at the end,

and I would rather not say
any more about it,

but if you push me, I will.

But it's a wonderful routine.

I'm telling you, you absolutely


but not today.

I'll take that on.

- Yes.
- Simon, let me just check

that you're happy

that your digital magic, due to
the wonders of digital sharing...

'Cause they saw it online a while ago...
You were busted by that

and that you didn't fool them.

That's fair. That's good.

Thank you so much.

That was an incredible performance,
though, wasn't it, ladies and gentlemen?

Simon, thanks for sharing that
with us.

Simon Pierro, ladies and gentlemen.

Lovely work. Thank you, sir.

Let's meet our next contender.

My name's Handsome Jack,
and I'm a male model.

When I first started to make
the transition from modeling

into magic,
I went to my spiritual adviser,

and he said I should take one trick

and work on it and work on it
until I can do it better

than anybody in the world.

Question I get all the time is,

"How does a male model
find time to do magic?"

Well, I make the time.

People in the media don't
take me seriously as a magician.

They say I'm just another pretty face,
but I say,

"Look around. In the world of magic,
I'm the only pretty face."

I mean, excuse me
for being better-looking

than Penn and Teller.

If that's a crime, I plead guilty.

It's hard to forget how good-looking
our next potential fooler is,

mainly because his name serves
as a constant reminder.

Here he is. Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome Handsome Jack.

Hello, Las Vegas!

Prepare yourselves for
the Handsome Jack Experience.

Anybody who does not want to get
his mind blown out of his a*s

should leave the room now.

All right, you've been warned.

Now, when the producers
called me about being on this show,

found out it's a 60-minute show,
so I prepared

one hour of kickass magic
for you fine folks.

Then I get here,
I find out the producers have hired

a bunch of other magicians,

and I get five minutes,

because apparently, nobody cares
about ratings around here.

So, I even printed up a bunch
of Handsome Jack Experience handbills.

I was going to distribute them
to everybody.

Gives you the complete rundown
of everything I was going to do tonight.

It even tells you everything you need
to know about Handsome Jack.

Ladies, once you go Jack,

you never go back.

That's right.

So, since we're a little pressed
for time tonight,

I will just have to tell you about
the things you won't be seeing me

do tonight.
Oh, can't do this one.

You won't see me doing
"There's a hair in my hat."

Ah. Oh, this is a classic.

"The mighty Cheez Whiz."

Oh.

Won't have time to see-saw a woman in two.

Oh, this is a good one.

"The diner's dilemma."

That's a tribute to civil rights.

Oh, no, we've just got time
for one this evening,

and that is, oh,
"The torn and restored handbill."

Perfect.

So, here we go.

You know what? Don't say anything.

I don't care if I fooled ya.

I'll let someone else win the car.

Oh, what's that?

- The prize is not a car?
- No.

Oh, well,
then I really don't care if I fooled them.

You know, one of my mottos
has always been,

"Magic is fun
once you know how it's done,"

so I'm just gonna show everybody
how I did that.

To do this,
I needed a special magician's device

called a grappler.
I've got a grappler up my sleeve here.

I'll show it to you.

Now, I had an extra one of those
handbills hidden inside the grappler.

The grappler's a mechanical device.

It shot the handbill out
of my sleeve into my hand,

and then it grabbed all those torn pieces
and yanked 'em back up my sleeve.

Now, it's mechanical,
but it's not entirely self-working.

It still requires
what we magicians call misdirection.

I'll show you the misdirection
I was using.

In fact, I tell you what,
I will get up on the chair,

so you can all see
the misdirection I was using.

You remember, I took all those torn pieces
and I fanned 'em out like this?

I knew if I was to do a very careful,
deliberate action like that,

you'd all be staring right up here.

And while you were all
staring right up here,

probably none of you noticed
when I went ahead and I dropped my pants.

Now, once my pants were down,
I was able to get my knees

hooked together,
and once my knees were hooked together,

because of this cable that runs
up my arm and down my leg,

I was able to get this action going on.

Watch, it starts down here
and ends up over here. Watch.

Yeah?

So, you can see, it's not the hands
that are quicker than the eye,

it's the knees
that are quicker than the eye.

So, this just proves my motto that magic
is fun once you know how it's done.

Am I right, people?

There is still a problem
sometimes you can encounter

when you're using the grappler,
and that is sometimes

the people up close,
they can see up your sleeve,

and they can see all
the torn pieces up your sleeve,

and if that happens, well,
then you have to resort

to plan B, and plan B is
what we call,

"Taking care of business,
Handsome Jack style."

Thank you.

That is for you.

Handsome Jack, ladies and gentlemen.

Fabulous stuff.

When I saw the first part,

I thought, "Okay, I've seen this kind
of thing done before."

- Yeah.
- But never with that kind of setup.

No.

So, is that the area
which you think will confound, perplex,

and bemuse them?

I just hope anything will confound
or perplex them.

I don't care which part of it.

Okay. I think they're coming to
the end of their deliberations.

- Well, Jack...
- Yes.

We all know that all we're talking
about is you handing this to Teller.

There's nothing else in the routine
that we are talking about.

Okay.

We also love the fact that you
did the little moves

that you would need to do
to put it together the way

that's been done every time
we've done it in the past,

but then in the last 12 seconds,

you made it really hard for us.

If that final one out of the grappler

had stayed in his hands,

there would have been no problem,

because when you do
a torn and restored newspaper

or a paper, anything like that,

you end up dirty.

Or it's possible that you had
some way at the end

to show us what we thought
was individual pieces but actually wasn't.

If your hands actually came apart
and you showed us separate pieces,

then you, sir, fooled us.

Jack?

Well, if you ever watch the tape again,

you will see I absolutely have
individual pieces that I separate.

They absolutely were individual pieces.

Wow.

Wow.

Lulled us
into a false sense of security.

Jack, it must be nice to be
loved for something

which isn't just your genetic good looks
for once in your life.

Yes, I'm not just another pretty face.

Here you go.

- Oh, awesome.
- There is your fabulous trophy.

- Thank you.
- He'll be back here working with the boys

onstage in Las Vegas.

Incredible, wasn't it,
ladies and gentlemen?

Handsome Jack. He fooled them.

- Off you go, sir.
- Thank you so much.

So far tonight, one magician has fooled
Penn and Teller

and earned a trip back here to Vegas.

So, let's meet our next contender
and see if they're up to the task.

Hello.

I'm Kyle Knight. This is my wife, Mistie.

We are illusionists.

We live here in Las Vegas.

Our neighbors probably think
we're a little bit crazy.

We each perform magic,
separately and together,

and we try to do everything
we do as a partnership.

- That's for me.
- All right.

We're really married to magic.

We're married to the show.

Hit it.

There you go.

I'm the boss for the entire hour
of the show,

and Mistie's the boss
for the other 23 hours of the day.

That's why this is in the garage.

We have a really unique relationship,
and it works for us.

You're cleaning that up.

So, our next act are
a husband and wife team

who know the secrets
to a successful marriage.

One, communication. Two, honesty.

Three, tying each other up

in a bag and throwing away
the key on a regular basis.

Will you please welcome Kyle and Mistie?

Thank you.

Thank you, I'm Kyle Knight,
and this is my wife, Mistie.

Now, we are illusionists, but we try to
do things just a little bit different.

You see, rather than just having
a box onstage

where it's at a safe distance
from the audience

and we can hide
anything tricky that we want,

we like to let you get up close
and involved, examining things,

so that you can see how fair
everything really is.

Or she may just be saying
that as misdirection,

I'm not sure, but...

Before the show, we actually
handed out some rings

to the audience members.

If you have 'em, hold 'em up high.
Perfect, perfect.

I have one final ring here.

Jonathan, would you mind
helping out with this one?

- Hey, I'd love to.
- Awesome, thank you so much.

- Thank you.
- If you go onto

that side over there, yeah.
Your job's gonna be very simple.

Your job's going to be
to examine everything.

- Okay.
- Mainly the rings.

- Okay.
- Mainly the rings.

Step around the backside, Jonathan.

We're gonna place these over top
like this.

They fit inside here.
They lock in place really secure.

I've got some hardware in this pan.

If you wouldn't mind bolting
that on the back as quickly

and as dramatically as you can.

- Sure.
- Perfect, yeah. Just like that.

I think he's got the system.
Here we go. Hit it.

Three more. Let's go.

Last one.

Jonathan, can you go to that side,
right there?

Pick up the fabric
with me if you wouldn't mind.

That... About this high.

We're gonna walk towards you.
I'm gonna go that way.

Mistie!

And one more time for Jonathan.

Kyle and Mistie, ladies and gentlemen.

Kyle and Mistie. How about that?

- That was fabulous.
- Thank you. Thanks for helping.

Wow, and everything happened so fast.

Penn and Teller are gonna
talk to each other now

and see whether they can work
out how you did what you did

quite as quickly and fantastic as that.

That thing in the garage you had there,
the kind of jaws of death,

that looked terrifying.

We're still deciding
who's gonna go inside it, so...

Yeah, do you...

Who gets final say if it comes
to that, kind of, who does what?

I like to think I do,
but I know I really don't, so...

So, you're genuinely in charge
most of the time?

We're a partnership.

Did you meet via magic,
or were you already together?

No, we met via magic.

I was performing
out of New Orleans, and she...

And I met him,
and we hit it off and kept in touch,

and I relocated from Mississippi

to Las Vegas,
and we've been together for 12 years.

Well, that's a lovely story.

I think Penn and Teller are ready to go.

So many of your escape tricks
try to pretend to be dangerous,

and that always offends me.

What I love about this is
it's a topological mystery,

and that's what it's presented
as, and that's really beautiful.

Like the costume change,
like the way you go,

but I chat too much on this show.
I talk too much.

Teller's gonna explain this one to you.

He's drawn a little diagram

that y'all can look at,

and then maybe Teller will
show it to the camera afterwards here.

Well, I do believe that
unfortunately you've...

So, now you can hold that up,
Teller, so that everybody

in the audience can see
very clearly how they...

How they did that and see that clearly.

- There you go.
- There it goes.

If you just figure out
how it's done from there.

Beautifully done though,
beautifully done.

Mistie, Kyle,
I don't think you fooled them.

I think you're happy
with that explanation?

Oh, that's absolutely fine, yes.

Okay, none of us saw it,
but I think we're gonna have to

take it for granted,
but what we did see was a phenomenal act,

didn't we, ladies and gentlemen?

It was tremendous, fun, and entertaining.

Mistie, Kyle, thank you so much.
That was fabulous.

Now, the only thing crazier
than one man catching a b*llet

in his teeth, would be two men
catching b*ll*ts in their teeth.

I know what you're thinking,
but three men trying to do it

would just be silly, so I'm gonna go.

And on that note, this is a trick
you should not try at home

or anywhere else for that matter.

Ladies and gentlemen, here they are,
the fabulous Penn and Teller.

We're gonna do "The Magic b*ll*ts,"

with a couple of volunteers
from the audience.

We need two people who know g*ns,
preferably handguns,

preferably .357 Magnums.

Someone who believes very
strongly in the second amendment

to our constitution.

And who was never in any way affiliated

with the United States Postal Service.

Who knows g*ns?

How do you know g*ns there, sir?

- I work security.
- Work security?

- Do you know revolvers?
- Yes, sir.

Right up here,
would you please, sir?

One more person
with the same qualifications.

How do you know g*ns there?

I was in the military,
and I have several weapons at home.

Military? Right up here,
would you please, sir?

Only two rules to the gentlemen onstage.

Rule number one,
try to use the microphone when you speak,

and rule number two,
do not cross that yellow line.

- What's your name, please, sir?
- Dane.

Dane, take the microphone there, Dane.

Gonna move you right over here
if you'll forgive me.

Just don't cross that yellow line, Dane.

What's your name, please, sir?

- My name's Chris.
- Chris,

and what branch of the military, Chris?

- Army.
- Army, thank you so much

for your service, Chris, thank you.

Thank you very much.

We have Dane and we have
Chris to do "The Magic b*ll*ts."

We start with b*ll*ts
that aren't magic at all.

Just ordinary purse of b*ll*ts.

Dane, pick one of the b*ll*ts
from my purse, please.

Chris, any one from Teller's purse.

Examine those b*ll*ts carefully.
Is that a real b*llet over there, Chris?

Yes, sir.

Is that a real b*llet there, Dane?

Absolutely.

Could you sign the b*llet, just the tip?

Make sure every quadrant has something,
I don't care what,

as long as you can recognize it
from every angle.

Filigrees, you can illuminate
the first letter.

You'll recognize that when you
see it again, won't you, Dane?

- Yep.
- As you can see,

we have a slightly larger canvas,
as it were, in the casing.

Gonna get these gentlemen to
draw whatever they want on that casing.

What do you want to draw
on the casing there, Chris?

I don't know, I'll just draw
a flower on there.

Flower. What do you want to draw
on the casing there, Dane?

How about a lightning bolt?

A lightning bolt.

Taking care of business like Elvis.

Okay, draw your blue lightning bolt
right there.

Nicely done.

So you see, under his initials,
he's drawn a lightning bolt.

It's primitive but shows
a great deal of promise.

There, you can see.

I'm sure he's drawn a fine flower.

Beautiful flower.

Beautiful flower.

I doubt either of you
is a glazier, but all the same,

would you examine that piece of glass?

That's your piece of glass.

Give a tap for the microphone,

makes our sound man crazy.

Is that a real piece of glass
over there, Chris?

- Yes, sir.
- Real piece of glass there, Dane?

- Yes, sir.
- Here's what gonna happen

to this b*llet,
which is signed on the tip by Dane,

with the lightning bolt
drawn on the casing by Dane.

We're gonna move the tip,

just the part that travels,
the copper-covered lead part,

to that side of the stage.

Take that b*llet,
which is signed on the tip by Chris

with a flower

drawn on the casing by Chris.

We're gonna move the tip,
just the part that travels,

the copper-covered lead part,
to this side of the stage.

But we're gonna do that all
without anyone crossing that yellow line.

It's called "The Magic b*ll*ts."

For The Magic b*ll*ts,
we need magic wands,

and we're using Colt Python .357 Magnum
magic wands.

It's exactly what you can buy
in any g*n shop with the one addition

of a laser sight, which only a nut would
put on a handgun.

Like you gentlemen to examine
these weapons, please.

Check that out, would you please, Dane?

Make sure the barrel has not
been obstructed in any way.

- Is that a real g*n over there, Chris?
- Yes, sir.

- Is that a real g*n there, Dane?
- Yes.

Because others have handled
these weapons,

we're gonna give a quick once-over.

And now we're going to load them up.

Step right beside me,
would you please, Dane?

I want you to see your initials.
Want you to see if I rotate that,

- your lightning bolt. See it right there?
- Yep.

Put your finger on the top
of that, would you please, Dane?

- See my hand's empty?
- Yep.

Gonna rotate and click it
to next round fired,

and Teller and Chris are doing similarly
on their side of the stage.

Now, Dane and Chris, I suggest
you keep your eye on these g*ns,

because these b*ll*ts,
they have your names on 'em, don't they?

Yeah, they really do.

Now, Chris, the next hump
of the show gets a little hairy.

I want to get you out of harm's way.

If you'd be kind enough, please,
Chris, to the bottom of the stairs there,

we'll set you up right there.

Right to the bottom
of the stairs over there, Chris.

Dane, you've already guessed,
right over to the symmetrical position,

right over here
at the bottom of the stairs.

There's a moment this trick
that gets a wee bit loud.

We're gonna warn you before that moment.

I'll say the word, "Ears."
I'll say it once.

I'll say it loudly. I'll say it clearly.

When I say the word, "Ears,"

please put your fingers in your ears.

Nothing fancy.

Just like this.

Just like if Clay Aiken were
singing onstage or something.

And don't be cavalier about this.

Your hearing is very precious.
You don't want to jeopardize it

for the likes of us.

Now, a lot of people are
very frightened by handguns,

but there are four rules.

If everyone were to follow
these four rules,

no one would ever be hurt by a handgun

accidentally.

Rule number one, always treat every g*n

as though it were loaded,
unless you yourself

have checked it.

Rule number two,
always be sure of your target.

Rule number three,

keep your finger off the trigger
till your sights are on the target.

And rule number four,

never point a g*n at anything

unless you intend to destroy it.

The Magic b*ll*ts.

Ears!

Now, Chris, at the beginning
of this bit, you signed a b*llet

and loaded it into that weapon
right there,

- is that right, Chris?
- Yes, sir.

Step up to the yellow line.

Don't cross it, just hang 10.

Hey, Chris, see a, uh, b*llet in my teeth?

Yes, sir, I do.

Hold your hand out, so I can spit in it.

Recognize that b*llet, Chris?

Yes, I do.

- Is that the one you signed?
- Yes, it was.

I don't know much
about forensics, Chris,

but has it been through the barrel
of a g*n?

Yes, it has.

- Rifling, powder burns, so on?
- Yes.

Stand right there,
would you please, Chris?

Dane, at the beginning of
this bit when we first met,

you signed a b*llet,
loaded that weapon right there,

- is that right, Dane?
- Yes.

That yellow line, don't cross it.

- See a b*llet in Teller's teeth?
- Yes.

Let him spit in your hand,
would you please, sir?

Sir!

Do you recognize that b*llet, sir?

Yes, I do.

Is that the one you signed, sir?

Yes, it is.

Has it been through
the barrel of a g*n, sir?

Absolutely.

Step over to me, would you please, Dane?

Chris, stand... Teller.
Some loose ends to tie up here.

Turning off the laser sight,
opening the cylinder.

One case in there,
reach in and pull that out yourself,

would you please?

Give that a whiff there, Dane.

- Has that been fired there, Dane?
- Yes.

What's on the side of it there, Dane?

Lightning bolt.

- Who drew that lightning bolt, Dane?
- I did.

Reach into there, would you please,
Chris?

Give that a whiff, Chris.

Ah, it's a great smell, isn't it, Chris?

Yes, sir, it is.

What's on the side of it there,
Chris?

It's the flower I drew.

Flower you drew? Stand right there,
would you please, gentlemen?

Couple more
things you might be interested in.

Now, Dane, without hurting yourself,

would you prove to yourself that that
b*llet hole goes all the way through

that piece of glass?

See it went all the way through there,
Dane?

- Yes.
- All the way through?

All the way.

See it went all the way through there,
Chris?

Oh. Yes.

The whole whirlwind is now a b*llet hole.

Chris, Dane,

you may keep the b*llet.

You may keep the shell.

Good luck getting those on the airplane.

That's Dane.

That's Chris.

Wow. Now, that is what I call
a big finish.

Penn and Teller, ladies and gentlemen.

That is all the magic
we could fit into one hour,

but join us next week
when we do it all again.

Good night from Las Vegas,
where the party's just getting started.

Good night, everybody.