02x08 - Teller Plays with a Full Deck

[bunniefuu]

From the Penn & Teller
Theater in Las Vegas, Nevada,

here's our host, Jonathan Ross.

Hello there. Thank you very much.

Thank you very much indeed. How lovely.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

Hello and welcome to
Penn & Teller: Fool Us.

Now let's bring out the men of the hour,
or at least the next 59 minutes.

Yes, of course, it is the fabulous
Penn and Teller.

Teller, fabulous to see you.

- Mr. Ross, sir.
- Always such a joy, Penn and Teller.

Take a seat, gentlemen.
The show can begin.

It's time to get excited
because we're about to see

our first magician of the night.

- I'm Victor.
- And I'm Diamond.

We are Victor and Diamond.

We're known as one of
the top dove acts in the world.

We've been together as a couple

- for 35 years.
- Yeah, right.

We've been married almost 33,
so we're still going strong.

We challenge each other.

She'll tell me, "That's not gonna work,"
and it works.

He's always right, that's why.

He shouldn't have to think
that he's right to be right, right?

Well, with me loving animals
and definitely loving magic,

bringing those two together, for me,
it's just the perfect combination.

And the audience reaction
to the birds...

They love them.

It's uplifting,
and it makes us work harder for you.

Penn and Teller are good,
but I think we'll get them.

Please welcome Victor and Diamond.

Wow.

Victor and Diamond, ladies and gentlemen.
That was knockout, wasn't it?

Wow, the audience just ate
every second of that up.

We heard about your marriage.
How long have you two been together?

- It'd be 33 years in July.
- Wow, isn't that lovely?

That's quite something.

I really got a sense of joy
of you doing it...

- Oh, yeah.
- And I've got to say,

I loved your outfit
when you first come out.

There you go.

I want to see that cape back
on the high street.

I want to see men wearing that outside.

You look like The Shadow.
Remember that guy?

That's it.

- That's what it's modeled after, yup.
- There you go.

Okay, Penn, on behalf of the both of you,
what do you think?

How many magicians would like
to wear a cape and a hat on stage,

and they look stupid.

And you don't.

- And that, to me, is a miracle.
- Thank you.

No one else could look like you guys.

One of the reasons this audience
goes so crazy over your act

is that it really is an act.

Also, you do thematic content
that no one else bothers with.

Instead of just having the bird appear,
it comes out of a feather.

You split the parakeets.

You split the doves.
You split the rabbits.

There's always something going on,
and there's a theme,

and people love you
from the moment they see you.

And they continue to love you
all the way through as you mystify.

- You are one of my favorite acts in magic.
- Thank you.

- I just love you.
- Thank you, thank you very much, Penn.

- Now, Teller...
- Thank you.

Teller's taken a few notes.

And we gotta tell you
that the appearance of you at the top

was one of the great tricks.

I mean, a lot of people
are doing tricks with cards.

- You're doing tricks with human beings.
- There you go.

But Teller's written down a few diagrams

- and so on...
- Mmm-hmm.

- And written down a few names and stuff.
- Uh-huh.

- We will take this secret to our grave.
- So hold on just a second.

Are you guys satisfied
that they did nail what you were doing?

I admire these two gentlemen so much

that I'm not even gonna
go there with you, okay?

And let's face it,
we know neither of these

- could look remotely cool in a cape.
- No!

- So you've won this either way.
- We wouldn't even try.

We wouldn't even try.

And we will never let anyone see that.

- That just goes right away.
- Ladies and gentlemen...

Yes, run along.

We enjoyed it tremendously, didn't we?

They didn't fool Penn and Teller,
but we had a great show.

The incredible Victor and Diamond.

Congratulations. That was wonderful.

That was fabulous, though, wasn't it?

Now let's learn
all about our next trickster.

Hi, I'm Francis Menotti, and I'm what
you might call an absurdist magician.

When I first found out
that magic wasn't real,

I wasn't disenchanted with it.
I actually found it even more interesting.

I found the concept
of using one's intellect

to create the illusion
of something happening

is far more interesting than the idea
that I could do real magic.

When I am doing a trick,
I am sharing the experience with them.

I don't like going out there and saying,
"Hey, look what I can do."

I like to say,
"Wow, look at this. Isn't this cool?"

- Oh, my God.
- And I want to watch this with you.

I want to tell a story, and I'll say,

"Here's what you think
you know about reality."

And I'll try and challenge that,
and you think,

"Oh, maybe what I thought is impossible
isn't so impossible after all."

Will you please welcome Francis Menotti.

I'm not usually one to gasconade.
A 13-point word for "brag."

But I'm a pretty mean Scrabble player.
Just came back from England,

and I found their Scrabble sets
are a little different.

They have a green tile rack.

And the tiles themselves are also plastic,
which makes it impossible

for certain family members and friends
to use the wood grains to cheat.

In Scrabble, you have 100 letter tiles,
and you take seven of them,

you rearrange them to make
the best word possible, right?

We're gonna play a little game.
I need seven of you.

We're gonna take
the first row and the third row.

That's two. That's five.

Would you just join me onstage?

A warm round of applause
will follow you up here.

Come on up here, guys.

If you'd stand right here, please.

Right along this line,
if you will, please.

Thank you very much.
There you go. Right along the line here.

We're gonna play a game.

Each of you are going to reach
inside the bag, take a single tile,

keep it to yourself,
don't show anyone else,

and in a minute,
I'm gonna have you deposit them

on this tray
as you walk back to your seat.

- Fair enough?
- Got it.

I feel as though,
to get into the spirit of this game,

I should change my words slightly.

So, uh, I entreat that you take

this satchel of graphemes and, uh...

And shake it paroxysmally.

Brava, that's good.

Now, delve into the satchel
and extract a singular grapheme

for your own ocular pleasure, none other.

And please reciprocate
with the satchel down the line,

until seven of you have done thusly.

Excellent, and, Jonathan,
would you be so kind

- as to join me over here?
- Sure, sure.

Please. Thank you very much, Jonathan.

Wander right over here, please. Pleasure.

Nice to meet you.

Jonathan, as I riffle through the folio
by acclimation of cessation,

bid me, "Cease," at whichever
temporal singularity you'd like.

So you're gonna flip, and I'm gonna stop?

Gotcha.

- Stop.
- Perfect.

Now take the, um,
ligneous accreted graphite stylus...

...and inscribe a small circle
approximately the dimensions

of a pecuniary pittance
representing the value

of a decimated dollar arbitrarily in situ.

Just draw a small circle
without looking then.

This is much harder work
than I thought it was gonna be.

- Okay.
- Without looking,

- a small circle from underneath.
- A small circle, okay.

- Very good.
- Okay.

Excellent, good. I'll take this, and...
In fact, you know what?

Would you also initial the page,
just to make sure, in case we lose it,

right here at the corner,
if you will, please?

That way you'll find it later.
Fair enough?

- Okay.
- I mark the page here.

I'll come back to you, if you will, good?

- Shall I hold this?
- Please.

Naturally...

As this praeteritio may be
already perspicacious to you...

Very good, and back to your seat, please.

While words may be
diverting and pulchritudinous,

they can, if overused,
cognitively perturb,

but also be a pleonastic
and intellectual fardel to the auditor.

I said, "Fardel."

Hyper-Brobdingnagian words make the
elocutionist seem pompous and egotistical.

They can alienate the audience
or bewilder the listener

to an aphasic stupor, as is evidenced
by our current endeavors.

While it may be a salutary exercise

to be well-versed in the vocabulary
of one's language,

I think our speech
ought to concatenate around

linear Lilliputian utterances
when casually conversing with others, no?

Small words.

Oh. Hmm. Uh...
Which of you had the "L", if I may?

Ah, you're first in line.

Jonathan, would you be so kind
as to open the book

- to the chosen lexical sign?
- Okay.

And find the encircled word.

It's my fervent hope that through
the sesquipedalian demonstration

of a frivolous con,

I've successfully rendered
my intention that whenever possible,

one should eschew obfuscation.

- What was it?
- The word is "lobster."

Word.

Wow. Wow.

Francis, let me ask you...
Obviously, we're impressed by the...

Just remembering those words
is quite something.

But you're a smart guy.

Your parents were both physicists,
is that right?

- That's correct, yes.
- How did that affect you growing up?

What kind of influence
did they exert on you?

They encouraged curiosity
and learning as much as I could

and basically encouraged me
to do whatever I chased,

as long as I did it the best I could.

So they were happy that you
went into magic rather than into physics

or another of the scientific disciplines?

- Delighted.
- Yeah.

Okay, I think they've talked long enough,
ladies and gentlemen.

Let's go to Penn and ask what he thinks.

Well, you know, I wish I had a thesaurus.

It'd be so nice to answer you in kind.

- Meh.
- But I just don't have a thesaurus.

The book that you used is very similar
to a book that we used

when we did the bachelor party
for Steven Spielberg.

It left a big mystery,
and that is why Steven Spielberg,

at his bachelor party,
would have us instead of hookers,

which is the big, deep mystery
that we had there.

Sure.

But I guess if we really wanted
to prove to you what we think,

would we be able to look at the tray
and the Scrabble dictionary?

- Yeah. Yeah.
- And the tray, yeah?

- This...
- And the big tray, yeah.

- Oh, and the big tray, okay.
- Yeah.

You want the table as well
while you're here, man?

The whole thing, yeah.

Should I tell you what you may
and may not examine?

Yes.

I would prefer you to take a look at that.

- Yeah.
- And, uh...

This dictionary is fine
to take a look at as well.

But, uh...

And anything I've got in my pockets
is yours.

What are you, uh...

Can you give us maybe a hint
as to what you might be looking for

without giving away too much?

Well, if what we're looking for
we can't find,

we're not giving away much there, are we?

'Cause we can't find it.

May I say, I was really hoping
you were going to go for this tray.

Yeah.

We'd like to answer you
with a trick of our own.

- Please.
- Because earlier today, Jonathan,

Andrew came to you?

- Yes, yes.
- Someone came to you.

And they asked you to put
an envelope in your pocket?

- Which I did.
- I did not touch that envelope

- since you put it in your pocket?
- No.

You have no idea what's in that envelope?

I do not. I didn't even steam it open,
I didn't even hold it up to a light, no.

And that envelope's been
in your possession since you had it?

- It's right here.
- Would you reach in

- and pull out that envelope, please?
- Yes, I will.

Now, we could not
have gotten to that, right?

We did not see this trick.

And yet, before we even saw you,

that envelope that says "Fool Us" on it
was delivered to Jonathan Ross.

And we're not gonna touch it.
We're not gonna touch it.

Would you hand it, please, to Francis?

And, Francis,
would you open that envelope?

Because I think this trick
is going to blow your mind.

In this envelope...
No one else has touched this.

We did not see the trick before this.

Would you pull out
and would you read aloud, please,

what it says?

"He will fool Penn and Teller."

Wow.

- Nicely done.
- Thank you, sir.

Perhaps Teller would like to
do the honor and present you that.

- How about that, ladies and gentlemen?
- Nicely done.

Mr. Francis Menotti, ladies and gentlemen.

Great job. Wow.

So far tonight,
one magician has fooled Penn and Teller

and earned a trip back here to Vegas.

So let's meet our next contender
and see if they are up to the task.

Hi, my name is Nash Fung,
and I'm from Hong Kong.

When I was in college,
I studied art history,

and I just fell in love with art.

Magic is just like art

because you can't do the same painting
over and over again.

It makes you become more creative.

Every artist has his way to express
himself through his piece of art.

Every trick I do in my show
relates to my life story

and things that I experience.

This is the first time I've performed
in front of a national audience,

and I'm excited, a little bit nervous,

but overall,
I'm just grateful for the opportunity.

If I can fool Penn and Teller,
I will be extremely happy

'cause that'd be one heck of a story
to tell my kids in the future.

Our next performer
is from Hong Kong originally,

but grew up in Seattle,

which means he's super-picky
about Chinese food and coffee.

Will you please welcome Nash Fung.

Thank you, thank you.

Oh, my goodness. Wow, this is great.

Well, Penn and Teller, can I please
have you join me at the table over here?

Penn and Teller, ladies and gentlemen.

Teller, nice meeting you.
Penn, nice meeting you.

- Nash, very nice to meet you, sir.
- Please have a seat, yeah.

We're gonna do something fun right now.

- Okay.
- Now, Penn,

now that I have gained your trust,
can I see your wallet?

That'd be awesome.

Well, you know, George Burns said,

"You always need
to carry your wallet onstage."

That's the most important thing in show...
I'm going to hand it to you?

- You can stay where you are, it's fine.
- Okay.

'Cause I know...
I need one thing from you.

Can I get your driver's license?

- Okay, sure.
- Yeah, wonderful.

Because right now,
we're gonna play a game with you

involving your license and memory.

This game is called...

Now that I have memorized
your billing address,

can I see your credit card, too?
That'd be awesome, Penn.

Can you take it out for me?

- Here you go.
- I gotta show them something.

- Okay.
- Wonderful.

So let's see there.
Credit card, driver's license.

Good.

So what you're looking at right now
is a crime, all right?

Don't let it happen to you.
I'm just messing with you.

Penn, keep that with you.

Now, Teller and Penn,
you guys are in Vegas.

Do you go to casinos and gamble,
by chance, or...

We're not big gamblers,
but we gamble now and again.

We know what the rules are.

Wonderful. Well, today you will
gamble with these things over here.

- Okay.
- Teller, I've got a lunch bag for you,

but don't eat whatever's inside
just yet, okay?

And, Penn, I have an envelope over here.

I'm gonna drop your license
into the envelope,

and then we're both gonna seal
the envelope together.

So, can I have you
pop this inside for me?

Okay. Thank you, thank you.
Put inside, thank you.

And then we're both gonna
seal it together. So I'll go first...

And you can go second...
No, don't do that, that's gross.

I'm messing with you.
I'm messing with you, okay?

Now, obviously, a show this big
would not be possible

without the Rio Casino and Resort,
right here.

And these are the room keys
for the Rio Casino and Resort.

Now, can I have you take that here
and take that right here?

And put that in the envelope
and seal it for me, if you may.

And I've been staying at the Rio
the last four days,

I'm telling you,
if you've got time to come by Vegas,

make sure you come by and check out
a show called Penn & Teller

in the evening.

Just give you some love right now, right?

Thank you, thank you.

All right. Now, Teller,
the lunch bag over here is very important.

Can I have you go ahead and unzip it
and take out whatever's inside?

And tell us what you see.
Oh, tell us what you see.

- I will.
- Sorry, Penn, yeah.

- I'll tell you what he sees.
- Wonderful. What do you see inside?

- A can of cola.
- Of cola.

And is there
something else over here?

That would be another lunch bag.

- Brilliant, good.
- Oh, yeah.

And, of course, listen to it.
Listen, listen, ready?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, listen to it.

Well, I'll tell you what, though,
there's one more bag over here.

Can I have you go ahead and take it out
and show Penn whatever you see inside?

Go for it. What do you see inside?

- You see... Ooh.
- Lighter fluid.

Lighter fluid. And then you got a...

- Bowl.
- Brilliant, good.

Now, Penn, remember, in the beginning,

I told you that this trick involves
your license and memory, right?

Mmm-hmm.

Do you remember
which envelope has your license?

- Yes, the first one.
- The first one, okay.

Are you sure?

No, I'm just saying
it was the first one we put it in.

- Oh, brilliant.
- Now you've mixed them up.

Okay, brilliant, brilliant.

Um, are you a little bit nervous
right now, Penn?

- Uh, yeah.
- Well, you know what, you shouldn't be,

because I know exactly which envelope
has your license.

- Good.
- And I know you're not a mind reader,

but just pretend that,
in case you can read my mind...

- Okay.
- ...I'm going to think

of the license that has...

I mean, the envelope
that has the license over here.

- Okay.
- And you're going to tell me

which one has the license.
Is it number one, two, or three?

- Tell me, Penn.
- One.

One. So one will stay right here.

Good thinking.

Two and three
will go straight into the bowl.

Good.

And I think you know
what's coming next, Teller.

I'm going to bet my confidence
in your mind-reading power

- with your license over here.
- Yeah.

Check this out. This is the fun part
right now, Penn and Teller.

It's odd you call that "you" betting,
but okay.

Penn and Teller, be careful.
One, two, and three.

That's really big.
All right, tell you what.

Penn, for the first time, go ahead
and take the envelope over here.

Tear it open and show us
that that is, indeed,

your license over here.
That would be a great mind read...

It's the, uh... It's the room key.

It's the... It's the room key for the Rio
that you put in the other envelopes there.

- You ever stood in line at the DMV?
- I'm so sorry, no, I...

- Have you done that?
- I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. Oh, my God.

A lot of rage at the DMV, you know?
A lot of rage.

Teller, I'm... I marked the envelope.

I trust you, you see the mark right there?
That was what I marked, uh...

Well, I'll tell you what, though,
cola is really good

at removing burn marks from cards.

So if I put enough cola in the license,
I'm sure somehow the cola...

I think I should be able to... Uh-oh.

Hold on.

Guys, can you hear something
rattling in the can here?

- You heard it, yeah?
- I do.

Hold on a second.
There's something in here.

I'm going to just cut this open.
Check it out.

Inside the can over here,
there was something rattling.

Oh, this is crazy.

Teller and Penn, do you see
something inside the can here?

You saw it, yeah?
Okay, and it is actually

a driver's license
that's soaked wet with soda.

Penn, can I have you go
take it out and show us?

Is that your license over here, my friend?

- That is my...
- That's yours right here.

- Driver's license right there.
- Sweet! Whoo!

Whoo!

Wow. My goodness.
Nash Fung, ladies and gentlemen.

- Nash Fung.
- Thank you, Jonathan.

- Wow, fabulous stuff.
- Coca-Cola all over it.

Thank you so much.

Ladies and gentlemen, how great was that?
Nash Fung.

Great job.

Nash, that was fabulous. We loved it.
I have no idea, of course, how it's done.

We'll find out whether the guys know
in a minute or two.

While you're over here,
where did you begin to do magic?

Was it in Hong Kong that you started,

or did you start
when you came to the U.S.A.?

Well, I started
when I first came to America, yeah.

I was 14 years old,
freshman in high school,

didn't want to be the outsider.
So I learned magic to fit in, basically.

- You ever met any girls that way?
- Uh, yeah, recently, yeah.

Wow.

My girlfriend for three years now,
she's watching right now, so I can say it.

Well, that doesn't mean
you can't still meet a new one.

But let's move on.

So I think the guys are ready.

Penn, tell us, do you think
you know how it was done?

Well, you know, uh, boy.

I like a borrowed object
in an impossible location,

something we've done
an awful lot of times.

And I want to tell you,
my driver's license here,

which I'm very glad that Nevada
has the drivers' licenses

that are completely laminated,

- because this was actually in Coca-Cola.
- It is.

And, you know,
you might have noticed this,

but when I got it back
and it had the sweet Coca-Cola on it,

I lapped it. Did you notice that?

- I didn't notice that, no.
- With my tongue,

- I lapped it like this.
- Okay.

- I did some lapping... Like that.
- Okay, okay, okay.

- I lapped it.
- Gotcha.

- And also, your little ad for Coca-Cola?
- Uh-huh?

I gotta tell you,
having one can of Coke is fabulous.

- That's true.
- Having two cans of Coke, even better.

- Definitely.
- The more cans you have,

- the better the whole thing is.
- Yup.

I love this routine.
It was just terrific.

- Wonderful.
- You know what I'm talking about?

I know exactly
what you're talking about, man.

This is awesome. Wow, okay.

Are you confident
that he knows what happened then?

You know, all I gotta say is,

I never thought I'd be performing onstage
for you guys, so it was just...

- You're great. You're great, man.
- I'm grateful, man. Thank you, thank you.

Great work. We all loved it,
didn't we, ladies and gentlemen?

- Thank you.
- Let's say thank you to Nash Fung.

Nash, that was...

You didn't fool them, but it was great.
Thank you very much indeed.

- I had a good time.
- Nash Fung.

So now let's meet
our next hopeful trickster.

My name is Chad Juros,
and I'd like to share with you a story.

I was three years old
when I was diagnosed with leukemia.

Thankfully, I don't remember too much of
the experiences that I had to go through,

but I definitely remember my father.

He realized one day that magic

would be a great form of medicine
to help me feel better in the hospital.

So instead of just showing me magic,
my dad would teach me magic.

They even dubbed my name
The Magical Chadakazam.

This whole idea my dad had,
of teaching me something positive

to keep my mind off of the negative
was a magic trick in itself.

You see, a magician's job
is to divert our audience's attention away

from where the real magic is happening.

He taught me this amazing skill

while the doctors and nurses
were creating these miracles

that were keeping me alive.

And with that being said...

Chadakazam!

That's a lovely story, isn't it?

This next magician
was the youngest performer

to ever play the White House.
He wasn't invited.

The Secret Service men were just drunk
and let him in one night.

Will you please welcome Chad Juros.

Thank you very much. Thank you.

The next trick I'm gonna share with you
involves a piece of rope.

Now keep this in mind, every piece of rope
only has two ends and one middle.

Check it out.

All right, rope number one,
we're gonna make a loop.

We'll do the same thing
to rope number two.

Thank you very much.

I'm gonna come down here.

Teller, if you wouldn't mind
giving that a pull for us.

Thank you, sir. You may let go.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

That's one. That's two.
Keep your eyes on them.

This makes three pieces of rope.
We're gonna take the long and the shorts.

Here we go, my favorite parts.

One piece of rope, thank you very much.

Ooh.

Don't clap for that,
there's a big knot there.

I'll adjust it, check it out.

Thank you very much.

All right, ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls, three pieces of rope.

That's one. That's two.

And that makes...
One piece of rope.

Thank you very much.

Chad Juros, ladies and gentlemen.

- Phenomenal, wow.
- Thank you, thank you.

The speed,
I couldn't keep up with it.

So let me ask you, performing at
the White House, that must be something.

- It was incredible.
- Wow.

Yes, it was truly a dream come true,

and I was proud to do it actually
two more times after that.

- Wow, congratulations. What a great thing.
- Thank you.

Let me ask you about something
which I know is very dear to your heart.

We saw your film,
and it was a very touching story.

- Yes.
- Your foundation...

- Yes.
- Tell me about that.

Sure, it's called
the Spread the Magic Foundation.

It's a non-profit organization that
helps raise money for pediatric cancer,

in the hopes that everyone can find
the magic in their life as I did mine.

Now your magic... Oh, thank you.

I appreciate that. Thank you.

This kind of routine,
I've seen similar routines,

never done as well as this,

never done quite so many things
that I haven't seen before there.

Do you think that there's enough
of difference in what you've just done

- to fool Penn and Teller?
- Uh, I...

- I tried my best.
- Okay.

- We'll see what we could do.
- Well, it was great.

We loved it, didn't we,
ladies and gentlemen?

Thank you.

Fellas, your verdict, please.

Well, you know,
when Teller was about your age,

- he did a routine very similar to that.
- Ah.

And both of us, which is very rare,

we don't agree on very much,
we both like rope tricks.

We both like them very, very much.

The tricks were really good
and really wonderful.

We enjoyed the most, was your personality,

which is really, uh, magnetic.

You have a magnetic personality

that really kept us entranced
for the whole thing.

And although you had
a magnetic personality,

I don't think you quite fooled us.

- But it was a wonderful routine.
- Well, thank you very much.

I appreciated performing for you.
Thank you.

Well, let me check then,
because they speak in code.

None of us are actually quite sure
what was just said there,

but you're happy that Penn and Teller know
what they're talking about?

- I did not fool them.
- You did not fool them.

Well, we had a great time watching you,
didn't we, ladies and gentlemen?

- It was fabulous, Chad.
- Thank you.

Keep doing the good work as well.
Chad Juros, ladies and gentlemen.

- Thank you.
- Very talented young man.

Now I get the pleasure of introducing
the only power couple

with more magic than Beyoncé and Jay Z.

Yeah, they've got 99 problems,
but a trick ain't one.

It is, of course, Penn and Teller.

Since we first met, Teller and I
have been having a conversation

about how magic works.

Now, obviously,
there's no such thing as magic,

but the only way to make it feel
like there's such a thing as magic

is by monkeying with these maps
that we all carry around inside our heads.

We're gonna do a trick for one person
in the audience here, and, uh...

- Yeah, what's your name, please?
- Donna Jean.

- Donna Jean?
- Yes.

Can you help me, please, Donna Jean?

Right up here.
I'm gonna show you something, Donna Jean.

Watch your step here, Donna Jean.

Donna Jean, that's Teller.
Teller, that's Donna Jean.

We're gonna have you stand
right on that star that we have

- for Jonathan there, Donna Jean.
- All right.

Now, Donna Jean, now that you're onstage

and the lights are in your eyes
and everything,

it's a little harder to see your seat,

but you already built a map
inside your head, haven't you, Donna Jean?

- Yeah, of course.
- You know right where you're sitting,

you know who's sitting around you,
you can walk out of the lobby,

all that back.
Here's what we're gonna do.

We're gonna try to have the magic
happen inside of your head.

Now, during this bit,

we're going to ask you to go to the map
inside your head,

gonna ask you
to close your eyes a few times.

- Not right now, not right now.
- Okay.

When we tell you to close your eyes,
just make sure you keep your eyes shut,

we'll put our fingertips
very lightly on your eyelids.

- All right.
- Is that gonna be too weird for you?

I live in Vegas. It can't get that creepy.

When I tell you to close your eyes,

I suggest you do it right away,
'cause we're coming in.

- All right.
- And if you don't,

it turns into a Three Stooges routine...

...and you're standing right in the great
Curly Howard spot, Donna Jean.

Donna Jean, examine that ring,
would you please?

Just make sure it's a solid...
You can take it from Teller, yeah.

Make sure it's a solid ring there,
Donna Jean.

- No gaps in it.
- Pretty solid.

Now just put that right around my neck,
so you know right where it is.

Okay, Donna Jean?

Now, as I said, there'll be no magic
during this bit onstage whatsoever.

The only magic in this room
will be inside Donna Jean's head,

so please, all of you,
try to watch the next few tricks

from right inside her head.

Donna Jean, put your hands just like this
so they're touching.

- So they're touching.
- Is that good?

Yeah, just like that. We're gonna
start rubbing our fingers right down...

Yeah, a little bit higher.
Yeah, right about there, yeah.

We're gonna put our fingers
right down your arms here, Donna Jean.

Right down your arms just like that,
Donna Jean.

Close your eyes, Donna Jean.
Close your eyes.

One fingertip on each eyelid,
one fingertip on the back of each hand.

Now, Donna Jean, you feel Teller
touching the back of your right hand.

I'm right over here on your left,
Donna Jean.

Now think about our fingertips
on the back of your hands,

think about our fingers,
think about where our hands would be,

where our wrists would be,

and just reach out and hold our wrists,
Donna Jean. Hold...

Yeah, put your palms down,
palms down, yeah.

- Palms down?
- Yeah, but hold our wrists.

- Okay.
- Yeah, just hold nice and tight

with your hands,
but leave your elbows a little bit loose,

- so we can move around, Donna Jean.
- All right.

Here's where we go to the map
inside your head, the imagination.

This will be really easy to imagine,
Donna Jean.

You'll be able to feel me leaning over,
you'll be hearing me leaning over...

Teller, reaching across.
Teller's grabbing that ring

that you put around my neck.

So imagine Teller holding
the bottom of that ring

that you put around my neck.
That solid ring.

The next thing
I also want you to imagine is impossible.

I want you to imagine that Teller
rips the ring through my neck,

which is biologically impossible,

and links it onto your arm,
which is topologically impossible,

as long as you keep holding this wrist.

It's impossible, Donna Jean,
but I want you to imagine it.

Imagine that Teller rips the ring
through my neck, and links it onto your...

...arm!

Feel that, Donna Jean?
Open your eyes, Donna Jean.

Open your eyes.
Is that solid there, Donna Jean?

- Yeah.
- Totally unbroken.

Yup.

It's gonna get a little weirder,
Donna Jean.

Face the audience there, Donna Jean,
face the audience.

Don't... Now, here we go, Donna Jean.

Close your eyes, Donna Jean,
close your eyes.

One fingertip on each eyelid.
You're holding one of each of our hands.

Take your right hand, Donna Jean,
reach across and grab that ring.

Then slide that ring
right off your arm there, Donna Jean.

There you are,
just don't want to let go of you at all.

Now bring that ring above your left arm
and just tap it a couple times. Beautiful.

It's very easy to imagine that ring,
isn't it, Donna Jean?

- Yes.
- 'Cause you're holding it

and also tapping it.

Now raise that ring a few inches
above your arm there

and hold it there nice and still there,
Donna Jean.

In just a moment, Donna Jean,
I'm gonna count to three.

Right after I count to three,
in the very next beat,

just let go of the ring.

Let if fall completely,
drop it absolutely.

When you drop it, Donna Jean,
after I count to three,

it's gonna feel a little weird.

You expect that ring to hit this arm,
but it won't, Donna Jean.

Instead, imagine this, Donna Jean.

The bottom of the ring will open up,
it'll suck this arm in,

- and then it will heal up.
- Mmm-hmm.

When you drop that ring, Donna Jean,

you will link it onto this arm
without me letting go of this wrist.

And if you people can watch this
from inside Donna Jean's head,

this may be the biggest miracle
you experience tonight.

Right after three, Donna Jean.
And one, two, three, drop.

Feel that, Donna Jean?

Open your eyes there, Donna Jean,
open your eyes.

Is that solid there, Donna Jean?

- Yeah.
- Totally unbroken there, Donna Jean?

One more, Donna Jean, one more. One more.

- All right.
- We're all set there? Just face front.

Yeah, close your eyes there,
Donna Jean, close your eyes.

Now take the ring in both hands there,
Donna Jean. Take it in both hands, yup.

Get a sense of that, Donna Jean.
It's a solid ring, isn't it, there?

- Yup.
- Hold the ring in your right hand.

Let go with your left hand.
Hold with your right hand, let go.

Use that left hand to cover your own eyes.
Replace our fingers with yours. Yeah.

Now, Donna Jean, you've created
a solid ring of flesh, haven't you?

- Right.
- From your face to your hand

to your wrist to your arm
to your elbow to your arm

to your shoulder to your neck
to your face.

That's an unbroken ring.

There's no way we could link
anything onto this ring

as long as your hand
is right against your face.

Let me have that ring, Donna Jean.
Now imagine this.

And one, two, three.

Feel that, Donna Jean?

Open your eyes there, Donna Jean,
open your eyes.

- Is that solid there, Donna Jean?
- Yeah.

- Do you have a sense of where I am?
- Thank you so much.

- Sense of where Teller is?
- Thank you.

Sense of where your seat is
right there, Donna Jean.

Inside Donna Jean's head, right there.

Inside Donna Jean's head.

Penn and Teller,
ladies and gentlemen.

- That is fantastic.
- Thanks for the assist, sir.

Thanks for the assist.

Oh, I'm very thrilled to be
part of the act for that brief moment.

That's all the magic
we can handle for one night,

but do join us next week.

We'll be waiting for you
here in Las Vegas

with more Penn & Teller: Fool Us.
Good night, everybody.