♪ I could be so good for you.
♪ Love you like you want me to.
♪ I could be so good for you.
♪ Love you like you want me to. ♪
What the bloody hell
have you got in there?
You're not taking that in?
We're suppose to frighten him.
I'll fright the b*stard alright.
Look at this butt.
Took me all weekend
to polish that.
I'm carving an eagle's head on it.
Put it away,
for god sake!
Hello?
Anyone at home?
Over here!
Excuse me.
Mr Harrison?
Arthur Daley.
Your partner probably
mentioned me.
Oh, yeah, he did.
Yeah.
Unfortunately he's had to pop out.
Oh. Eh...
Any good?
Nah, nah.
- You can borrow my pin, though.
- Oh, no, no, no.
- They're down the other end.
- Oh, sorry.
Here we are.
There's Terry Wogans over here
and Angela Rippons here.
Angela Rippon?
Never!
Yeah, well,
they were done a few years back.
They're spot on,
I want 25 of each.
There was mention
of a deposit.
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
Tony er... Apsey did mention it.
A century will clear the air.
Understood, understood.
There we are.
Look, I'm going into a hospital
for a bit,
so a colleague of mine
will come and pick them up.
Oh, eh...
Nothing serious, I hope.
No, no, no.
Just a bit of... major surgery.
- Mm. Nasty.
- No, no, no. Not in this day and age.
Piece of cake.
[BOTH LAUGHS]
[TELEPHONE]
Hang on. I'll just get that.
Fine, fine.
Yeah?
Yeah, speaking.
Yeah, OK, pal.
I'll sort that out.
I got a message from Wendy.
You owe us, Harrison.
Ohhhh!
[g*nsh*t]
[g*nsh*t]
Mr Harrison?
Mr Harrison?
Oh, my good Gawd!
- Get move it, will you!
- What? Everything all right?
I done the business, OK?
Let's get out of here, right?!
Sod it!
I know that face.
Arthur Daley.
What's was he doing
round 'ere?
It was just me and Harrison.
Oh no, it wasn't, son.
I just saw Daley legging it out
of that warehouse.
What happened up there?
Harrison gave me some bother
so I just...
I...
flashed the sh**ter at him
and the silly sod fainted
or something.
There was a phone box around the corner
and I dialled 999 from there.
And Tony wasn't at the warehouse?
- No, he'd popped out.
- Who's Tony?
Tony Apsey, he's a mate of mine.
Partner with Harrison.
I put Arthur on to him
when I knew he wanted those dummies.
- And look what you landed me in.
- Yeah.
Tony used to be a tearaway, but
he's straight now.
I mean, he's got a fridge-freezer,
a fiancee, the lot.
What about Harrison?
Fingers crossed he's all right.
But you reckon the g*n
never touched him?
Not as far as I could tell,
no.
But them models were all shot up,
heads all over the place.
It was like a b*mb had gone off.
And the noise those things make!
Oh, it really turned me up.
And me about to undergo
major surgery.
OK.
No mention of Daley or the g*n.
I think he ought to be told about Daley.
It might be important.
You work for my old man.
He loves his son.
He'd do anything for him, right?
You start flapping your mouth,
I'll drop you right in it.
I want 2 to 1 against.
Yeah, that's right.
Ha! You want charity?
You have a bet
round your local Oxfam shop!
[HE CHUCKLES]
You there, Mike?
I want two grand at threes,
Rocket to Russia, Doncaster, three-thirty.
Yeah.
Thank you, Mike.
How much has he got, Mike?
Take it, Mike. Take it.
No,
he's not up to anything.
No,
he's a mug punter.
What's the weather like, Harry?
Oh, it's not bad Wendy.
Want a spin in the motor Dad?
No time son.
Nice of you to think of it.
The doctor said
you ought to make an effort, Dad.
Yeah well, they're wrong.
Going outside makes me ill.
All that space,
all that bloody light.
If I stick indoors I'll keep my bloody health.
I don't care what they say.
Yeah, whatever you say Dad.
Now then...
Mr Harrison got our money, has he?
Er, not as yet.
No. But I had a word.
I expect a result
by the end of the week.
Good boy.
Did he say when?
No,
but I'm calling back tomorrow.
You give him a bit of a smack,
did you, Keithy? [LAUGHS]
Anything to add, Harry?
No, Wendy. No.
All right. Let play commence.
The master has arrived.
Hi, Tel.
Hey, you don't look too pleased
to see your team captain.
- Where you been all day?
- I took the day off.
I drove her to Essex.
Had stop for lunch.
- Hi, Sandra.
- Why? What's up?
I've got to talk to you,
it's important.
I'm sorry mate.
The game's off.
What you doing, you wally?
We'll forfeit the match.
It's about Joe and it's important.
It's serious.
Come on, on yer bike.
Come on, love.
Out the back.
Now.
Please, Mr Chisholm,
not here.
Be a good boy, Dermott.
You're coming it a bit
tubbing me in here.
Plead it on, Mr Chisholm.
This is my local!
Oh, in wich case let me congratulate you
on your exquisite taste.
Oh...
Do me a favour, will you?
Look here, Dermott, my hairy friend,
this is very important.
If I suspect you
withholding information,
I've take you in the saloon bar
and introduce you as my best snout.
Then poodle over to your drum
and find out what you're smoking this days.
Yeah, all right,
all right.
But I'm not promising anything,
right?
Joe Harrison.
Oh, you've heard about him,
have you?
Yeah, funny that,
I heard a whisper about him today.
- What, Dermott?
- I dunno.
Something about
some bother he had to.
Somebody let off a g*n.
- Let off a g*n?
- Yeah.
Guess what?
He dropped dead.
- Heart attack.
- Wow.
What a way with words you have,
Dermott.
Eh... That's...
All right...
What was Harrison into?
I dunno!
He was straight.
He had this firm with Tony Apsey,
selling clothes dummies.
Yeah.
- Tony Apsey.
- Yeah.
I never understood why
he let that tearaway into his firm.
Look... Apsey's straight now.
Everyone knows that.
Oh, do they, Dermott?
I don't know that.
As far as I'm concerned, Tony Apsey
is a right blot on my limited horizons.
All right, all right.
Let's imagine, just for a second,
that it wasn't Tony Apsey
who frightened Harrison to death.
All right, then...
- Who the bleeding Hell was it?
- I dunno!
Look, all I know is,
there was someone else there.
A face called Daley.
Arthur or something,
all right?
Arthur Daley.
Yeah.
Arthur Daley?
Yeah. That's what I've heard.
Why? Who is he?
Are you cheering me up or something,
you hairy animal?
Oh, lay off me, Mr Chisholm,
will you?
Will you ask Mr Apsey, he was here.
He'll tell you what occurred.
Oh, I will.
You...
bank on that.
Oi!
How about a drink then?
Phwoar.
Heavy.
- What happened, love?
- I don't believe it.
Apparently he just...
he just died.
I mean I know
he had a dodgy ticker but...
as some b*stard slag
come round there and...
I've got to talk to Arthur, Terry.
I want to know what happened.
I told you all I saw Tony,
that's the full strength.
You two got anywhere
you can stay?
- Going to your mother's, eh?
- But why? What for?
Give yourselves a bit of time.
First thing they gonna do is pull him.
Why? He hasn't done anything,
he was with me all day.
They're right, love.
You see, Tony's got form.
I don't believe it,
they were mates!
You try telling Chisholm that.
He hates my guts!
Every time I nodded off
I heard that g*n again.
That's gonna be with me
till the day I...
I'm a mental and physical wreck.
Well, you're in the right place then,
ain't ya?
- Ooh!
- Sorry mate! Sorry.
You ought to get them plates
seen to.
Keep trying that number
I gave you.
The bloke you want to talk to
is Mr Green.
Tell him there's been a slight hiccup
over the clothes dummies.
And I'm just off
for a a couple of days' major surgery.
And I'll get back to him
on Friday.
Right.
Here we are.
What?
This is where you get changed,
Mr Daley.
I'll go make sure
your bed is ready.
All you need are your dressing-gown,
pyjamas and slippers.
Sure your friend, dear,
can take your clothes.
- Yeah, course.
- Don't forget I'm private.
Yes, Mr Daley,
you mentioned it.
- I'm with PHATI.
- Do what?
Personal Health
And Treatment Indemnity.
Oh...
Well, here we go.
Where was I?
Oh, yeah, the lock-up.
Now I want you to go there every morning,
ten to eleven,
pick up the mail
and take any phone calls.
And for crying out loud,
write it all down to a piece of paper.
After that The Winchester,
mail and phone...
oh...
not much room here...
er... mail and my own phone calls
just the same.
Then refer to the typed list of jobs
I gave you.
Number one priority
is those non-stick pans.
Get 'em out
from behind the Portuguese vodka,
leave 'em handy
near the door.
And now it.
There's no restriction on visiting hours
for private patients.
But 'Er Indoors...
likes a routine.
So she's coming in
from six till ten past every night.
- Every night?
- Of course!
Oh. Eh...
And eh...
If a Mrs South
from Hammersmith phones
about her azure Dralon...
tell her to, um...
hang on.
Not Sexy South from Hammersmith
with the great huge...
Don't you dare mention Sex... Mrs South
to You-Know-Who Indoors.
This is strictly business.
Ow?
- What's the matter?
- Nothing. Ow.
You look really, um...
nice.
Well that's nice, innit?
What's this supposed to be?
Where's the telly and the phone?
I subscribed to a very expensive
private patient scheme.
Yes, sir, I know, but this is where
the hospital administrator has put you
and there's nothing
I can do about it. Off!
I'm just a kidney stone throw...
throw away from that big public ward,
I'll be able to hear them
snoring all night!
Leave off,
it's not her fault, is it?
I'll mention it to sister,
she might be able to get someone
to come in and talk to you about it.
Er... but... er...
Not a word about the special menu
for private patients.
- Depressing, innit.
- Mm.
Well, when you think about it
this is the last place
that a lot of people ever get to see.
Wotcha, c*ck.
Yeah?
Just come to pay my respects.
I ought do to the new face in.
Daley, isn't it?
Charlie Dunning, mate.
How do you do?
Yeah.
Ingrowing toenails, right?
Could be a big problem, eh?
- Oh, no, not in this day and age...
- You know the last time I was in here
It was about eight years ago.
I had my varicose veins
and my chalfonts done.
You ever had your chalfonts
seen to?
Oh... Wicked, that is. Eh...
I've been in 'em all. Yeah...
Middlesex, Barts,
Whittington...
Cup of tea, love.
Thanks, doll.
[DOORBELL]
Here we go.
Morning, all.
And what a lovely morning it is,
too.
Anyway, I'm in for my prostrate
this time.
Prostate.
Yeah, you got it. Prostrate.
And it can't come too soon.
I'm up and down all night at the moment.
It's bleeding knackering!
If you wish to smoke,
Mr Daley,
there's a room specially for that,
it's down the corridor.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- And no alcohol
whatsoever
until after your operation.
Yeah.
She's a right goer this one.
Shoo, Mr Dunning.
Horrible old man. Shoo, shoo, shoo.
Right now.
You've got a visitor.
One of many, I think you'll find,
over the next few days, Nurse.
Nurse! I do not wish to see these men.
Nurse! Nurse!
Shut it, Arthur.
What are you in here for,
Daley?
- Having your wallet removed, is it?
- Well, what's the problem?
What amazing crime are we taxpayers
subsidising you to solve this time?
Small tin of paint
gone missing in Fulham, is it?
Must have turned you up,
Arthur.
Violence
not been your sin exactly.
- Violence?
- Arthur.
I've got this little friend,
a horrible little beggar he is.
He tells me facts about
low-level persons on my manor.
He's a bit slow,
like a week behind The News of the World,
but he's very reliable.
What I am trying to tell you,
Arthur,
is that whole of West London
knows you were around
when someone frightened
Joe Harrison so badly
he had a massive coronary.
Oh, my good Gawd!
- Penny's dropped...
- Yeah, all right, Mr Chisholm.
Look, I was there.
I heard a big bang and I legged it.
I called everyone bar the RSPCA.
On my life I never saw who done it,
or what happened.
- Room for improvement, Arthur.
- Oh, come on, Mr Chisholm.
You know I wouldn't keep shtum
about a thing like that.
You might,
if a mate was involved,
like Tony Apsey.
- Do what?
- It's too cosy for words, isn't it?
An ex-con Terry McCann
plays pool with an ex-con Tony Apsey.
They both know an old chancer
called Daley
who happens to be present
when Apsey's mentioned partner carks it.
[HE CHUCKLES]
And while I think about it
how convenient
that Apsey was having a day
in the country at the time.
I suppose in a few months
we'll have all three of you
down that warehouse turning over
and nice few quid.
Mr Chisholm,
you've got to be joking.
We're gonna have some a few more words
with Apsey, Arthur.
while we got him
tucked up down the nick.
Why don't you stay tucked up here,
eh?
Like a good boy.
We shall return.
Here, you were dead right
about Chisholm.
He pulled in Tony first thing.
Thanks, mate.
Pathetic, innit?
He's just trying
to get back at Tony
for giving him the run-around
years ago. I mean...
He knows he would have anything
to do with shooters.
[TELEPHONE]
Winchester Club.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll pay for the call.
Arthur,
for the last time, will you stop
reversing the charges when you call here?
Yeah.
It's for you.
Hello, mate.
You found the nurse of your dreams yet, eh?
I've had Chisholm here.
Yeah.
And his Druid.
Listen,
he knows all about...
you-know-what.
Yes!
Bloody well as his wife knows.
Listen, you come over here now.
We've got to talk.
Right.
BOOH!
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Yeah?
What?
Your father wants a word with you.
He's had a bit of news
about Joe Harrison.
Nice day out, is it, lads?
Not bad, Wendy.
I ask you see
because being an agoraphobic,
I don't get out much.
Still,
I've got a few bob,
I don't need to lift a finger.
I care for my friends.
They need my help.
They like a bet.
No tax on the winnings,
credit readily available.
What do I get from you lot?
You... toerags... who without
me couldn't get a job in a dung-heap?
I get a right c*ck-up
which'll end with me
losing my telephone numbers.
- Dad, look...
- No, you look, son.
If a punter owes me eight grand
there's no point frighten him to death,
cos then he don't have to pay,
get it?
Now then. Shooters.
- Oh, Dad, it's my hobby!
- Yes, I know it is.
Play with them in your bedroom,
polish them,
sleep with them under your pillow,
try a little Russian Roulette even
but do not sh**t at people
who owe me money.
- I told him that, Wendy.
- Shut up, Harry! It's down to you!
Me?
I tried to stop him.
Yeah.
And you failed, Harry...
cos you're a bleeding failure,
that's why.
You ain't got the proper authority.
So sod off
and count money.
Keithy...
..go play on the motorway.
- Sammy...
- Yes, Wendy?
Find this Daley geezer.
Have a chat, see what he knows.
I don't want young Keith
in any bother.
And about this brother of Harrison's,
Vic or something.
You better find him and all.
Tell him he's inherited
a very major debt.
Well,
general anaesthetic...
if that goes wrong,
you may as well hang up your boots.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
You've had it before?
- Eh... Well... more or less.
- Yeah. Well,
you just have a bit of a rest,
sunbeam.
If I don't see you before...
good luck. Touch wood.
You'll be as sick as a dog
for a day or so,
but it will be worth it
in the end.
Oh,
hello, son.
Your dad's in the pink,
considering.
He'll be the death of me.
You got my smokes?
Yeah.
Here you go... Dad.
- Listen. What's all this about Chisholm?
- Well, like I said.
He's been in here,
in total disregard for my condition,
trying to shorten my life
by making up some conspiracy between
you and me
and Tony Apsey.
I wonder how he knew
you were there.
Tony wouldn't have told him.
He was boasting about
some grass he's got.
[TERRY SIGHS]
Knowing Chisholm
he probably mows it at weekends.
Well, someone told him about me
pretty sharpish.
Probably everyone on a manor
knows by now,
including whoever
ruffled Harrison's feathers.
Leave that alone!
I want you to put yourself about
and drop a few hints
that I know bugger all.
Right?
Oh, right. I'll tell 'em.
I'll tell 'em:
"Arthur Daley knows bugger all."
[TERRY CHUCKLES]
Here.
You ever had a general anaesthetic?
Yeah, yeah,
with my tonsils. Yeah.
What's it like?
God, I dunno...
I was only a nipper. Can't remember.
I think I threw up a lot.
Charming.
Did you get hold of Green?
I tried, didn't I?
Kept missing him.
Listen, you're in hospital,
right?
You're Chisholm's
star witness at the month.
Now stop worrying
about clothes dummies.
Yeah, all right.
Sorry.
Right, then.
You off, then?
Yeah, might as well.
Yeah.
Mm.
Listen, if I don't see you.
Good luck tomorrow morning, you know?
Best foot forward, eh?
- All right?
- All right. Yeah.
Ta-ra.
You're a good boy, Terry.
Do what?
Them non-stick pans.
You see you'll shift 'em tomorrow.
If there's time, all right.
If not, you'll have
to non-stick 'em yourself. All right?
Ta-ra.
[LAUGHTER]
Hello, Tel!
- How is the master?
- Now he's all right.
Well, a bit anxious about this
Harrison affair. You know.
- Yeah...
- Any messages?
Yeah, yeah.
A bloke called Green phoned.
After his dummies,
whatever that means.
Ah. Cobblers. I've been trying
to find him all day.
- Did he leave a number?
- Afraid not.
They still got Apsey down the nick?
Yeah.
I've just been slapped all over the manor
trying to find some gossip.
Nobody's got a bad word to say
about this Harrison bloke.
Nice quiet geezer, liked a bet,
always a bit skint.
It's not grounds
for that sort of treatment, is it?
No way.
[COUGH]
[SIGHS]
"Dear...
Terence,"
No.
"Terry."
"Dear Terry, I am writing this
in case something happens to me."
"You will laugh
if you could see me now...
but what with... Harrison
and having this operation,
I've seem gone a bit morbid."
"This is just to say
that you have been like a son to me,
even though at times
I might have been a bit... inconsiderate,
but you know what the pressures
on the entrepreneur are
in this day and age."
"I hope you have enjoyed
our long association
as much as I have,
despite...
despite the vicsississitude...
viscissi...
"ups
and downs."
"Good luck,
your... pal,
"Arthur."
Who the hell are you?
I brought you some flowers,
Mr Daley.
What sort of time do you call this?
Just shut your mouth a minute.
About Joe Harrison.
Oh, my Gawd!
Not that again!
Look,
I keep telling everybody,
I don't know nothing.
I've no idea what it was all about.
Look, all I want to do
is been left in peace
with my ingrowing toenails.
I said: "Shut up"!
Now.
You are gonna have to tread
very carefully, Mr Daley.
Because if me or my colleagues suffer
the tiniest weeniest inconvenience
over the Harrison business,
I will come and find you.
I will get a hold of you
and I will take you away
to my own personal hospital.
It's time your light was out.
What on earth is this?
Sorry, Nurse. I... just had to call
on my old friend Mr Daley
as soon as I learnt
of his predicament.
I don't care about that.
Mr Daley has an operation
first thing in the morning.
And visitors should not be in the ward
at this time of night.
- Please leave now.
- Yes, of course, Nurse.
Goodbye, old chap.
Get well soon.
- All right, Mr Daley?
- Hmm.
Jolly good.
That's the last.
Seems an bleeding sight
more than 50 to me.
It's 50 all right.
I counted each every one down those
warehouse stairs in the dark.
[TERRY GIGGLES] Dear...
You've got some bottle, ain't you, girl?
I got to keep things taking over
while Tony's out of action.
I spent some time in the nick,
you know?
Could've been a different if I'd had
a little grafter like you in our side.
Well, it's never too late,
Tel.
Nah...
[TELEPHONE]
Hello.
Yep.
What?
Well, look...
Arthur, Arthur, calm down, will you?
I can't understand a word you're saying, mate.
Ah.
Yeah, all right, all right. All right.
I'll be right over.
Arthur's had a little turn.
Something went bump
in the night.
Not even a cup of tea
until after the operation.
And you know how I like to kick off the day
with a cooked meal.
I mean, look at the time,
I mean, it's not even 7!
All us poor sick people
brutally awoken and starved.
I think they had my number
as soon as I came in here.
They said:
"That geezer is perfectly fit."
"No kip and no nosh for him."
Oi!
You asleep?
No, no.
- Morning, all.
- Oh, Gawd.
Here.
You look awful.
Oh, good.
My little ray of sunshine.
Yeah, you can tell
it's your first time.
- You've got that back to front.
- Now get off!
Good morning, Mr Bailey.
How are we this morning?
The name is Daley.
Here.
It's Mr Hills, isn't it?
Oh, your own idea,
Arthur.
He fixed my chalfonts a treat.
You remember me,
Mr Hills?
Well, I'm afraid your face
wouldn't mean a lot to me.
Now then.
Feeling fit, Mr Bailey?
- Awful.
- Splendid.
We're going to take you
to an AnteRoom
where you'll be given an injection
which will make you feel rather woozy.
Shortly after that
you'll be in operating theatre.
And the next thing you know,
it'll be all over.
- Eh?
- All right, Mr Bailey?
Look, look. The name is Daley.
D-A-L-E-Y.
And it is my foot, my right foot.
Could we get that straight?
Jolly good.
Carry on, Nurse.
Thank you, everybody.
Will you wake up!
We've got to talk.
- What?
- I wanna know
what plans you've made
for my personal protection.
Oh, oh... yes...
Yeah.
Well, I phoned Chisholm
and told him you'd been threatened.
And he said he can't spare any men
for the time being,
especially in view
of your lack of cooperation.
but he might try and pop in himself
if he's got a minute.
That's nice, innit? I might as well
donate my poor little body to science now.
That's if Butcher Hills
leaves any of it in one piece.
Look, if you could stay awake for long enough
I want you to get out and earn a crust.
Find out where Chisholm
got this gossip from
and get him off my back.
- Oh, is that all?
- Yeah.
Off we go, Mr Daley.
Terry...
do you...
do you believe in er...
You-Know-Whatsit?
The Governor? God?
Oh, will you wake up!
Just a little prick...
He's got a lovely small one,
isn't he?
Oh!
Hey! Come on!
You're not allowed in here!
Det. Sergeant Chisholm,
Det. Constable Jones.
Hilda.
It's really important I talk to Mr Daley.
- He's just had a pre-med!
- One minute is all I need.
- I'll take full responsibility.
- Ta very much, Nurse.
Well...
Daley.
These alleged threats.
- What do you mean "alleged"?
- Well, it's very convenient, isn't it?
This mysterious person
turning up at this juncture.
Wasting of police time
is a very serious matter, Daley.
Ow. You always take it very seriously,
Mr Chisholm.
Right.
Description.
Description?
Of the alleged perpetrator
of the alleged threats.
- Tall...
- Tall...
- dark...
- dark...
- ♪ and ugly! ♪
- ugly...
Leave it out, Jones.
There was flowers.
Flowers, flowers... em...
Carnations.
Fluffy, fluffy ones... and...
daisies.
Arthur Daley dahliases.
Spikey ones.
Daley,
I'm gonna lose my rag.
Leave it out.
He's just had a jab, innit?
Oh, do not lose your rag,
Chiz.
♪ A man without his rag
is not a man, Chiz.
♪ Chiz, Chiz...
Chiz
- Terry? Terry? You there?
- Yeah. I'm here, yeah.
I've just had this fantastic idea.
Eh, bloody good stuff.
Where can I get some?
- Out!
- Mm.
I've had enough of this.
When he comes round
out of orbit,
I'll settle him for good.
Hold on, Chis...
So now I've got to go, mate.
You'll be all right.
Hello.
Oi!
Oi, Chisholm!
You two are right in it,
you know that, McCain?
You know Arthur wouldn't make up
a story like that.
The thing is it lets Apsey off the hook,
don't it?
And you can't stand it.
You better go back to your
grass...
and get the full strength,
son.
What's that suppose to mean?
Oh, come on!
He's got to know who rattled Harrison,
isn't he?
It's the biggest smile on the manor.
He takes earners from both sides
and gives you the right run-around.
Your time is coming, McCann.
Yeah?
This was by Mr Daley's bed.
I think it's for you.
Oh, ta.
Oh, bloody Hell!
What is it now then?
I heard a very nasty rumour
about a grass who's keeping secrets
from his friend the policeman.
See you, Mr Chisholm.
Are you gonna convince me
those rumours are wrong?
Or I'll soon move
Heaven and Hammersmith Broadway
to put you away.
[ROCK MUSIC ON RADIO]
Nice bike.
Who are you?
Detective Sergeant Chisholm.
Now is he a mate
or is it just business?
No, no, no,
stay there.
That is cozzer.
You told him that Arthur Daley
was at Harrison's, right?
Now all I want to know
is who told you?
Get stuffed.
Cor.
That's nice, innit?
Looks lovely.
- Did you draw it yourself?
- Yeah.
[CHUCKLES]
It's amazing, innit?
I wouldn't have thought
that you could draw breath.
Look, it's Harry Martin you want.
Not me.
Who's Harry Martin?
Oh, come on, son!
I mean,
wouldn't it be a shame, eh?
Why didn't you...
Welcome back to the land of the living,
Mr Daley.
Living?
We can have a nice little rest now.
Letter...
in the locker.
Please don't you worry about that.
I gave it to the young man.
We nearly forgot it,
didn't we?
- You gave it to him?
- Yes.
Oh, my Gawd!
He'll make my life
a bloody misery.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
- Yeah?
- Terry McCann?
Who wants him?
The name's Vic Harrison.
Joe Harrison's brother.
He was straight as a die, was Joe.
Good as gold.
He grafted at his work,
he was good to his missus.
Couple of pints on a Saturday night
and got away to get home.
He did like a bet, though.
As far back as I can remember.
Trouble is, it got so bad,
he couldn't walk past
a betting shop.
Gamblers' Anonymous?
At his first meeting
he had them taking bets
on who owed the most money.
Hah!
If he'd chased crumpet instead
he'd be alive today.
- Did he owe a lot?
- About eight grand.
He got in with this bent bookie
called Wendy.
Wendy? Who's she?
[VIC CHUCKLES]
He, son. He.
Albert Wendell.
Twenty stone
of short-arsed nastiness.
He's agoraphobic.
That don't mean he hates aggro.
He loves it.
It means he bottles
if he leaves his gaff.
Does all his business
on the phone.
Uses people like Harry Martin
to run his messages.
That's the geezer
I've been looking for.
Well,
the slate's clean now.
No, it ain't.
Couple of month ago
he took me to see Wendy.
He needed me
to guarantee more credit.
The only way out he could see was
to carry on punting.
Bloody madness.
That's why I legged
it to Glasgow.
'Cos I knew
Wendy would be after me.
Why did you come back?
I ain't the Lone Ranger.
I ain't gonna live in Glasgow.
I heard
you're a friend of Apsey's.
So I thought you might help me
to sort out things with that fat b*stard.
Tell him
I've got a couple of grand together,
but...
he's got to collect in person.
I've come to see Wendy
about Harrison.
You deaf or something?
What are you playing at, Sammy,
bringing strangers in here?
It's about Harrison.
I'm a friend of Arthur Daley's.
I see.
Mr Daley sent you round here
to screw a little bonus out of me
for shutting his yap,
did he?
Well,
I call that an insult.
So I'm gonna have to ask Sammy
to break your arms.
Great!
Hold on, hold on.
Look, look...
I haven't come here for a hand-out,
all right?
I've come with a message
from Vic Harrison.
He wants to settle up.
But he's only gonna do it
if you turn up in person, right?
Since what happen to his brother
his bottle's gone completely
And he don't trust these dead-heads
unless you're with them.
I've got to go out?
That's all right, Dad.
A drive'll do you good.
I'll phone you when I know
the where and when.
Does Mr Harrison intend
to settle the entire debt?
Now you must be
Harry Martin,
Now this is the gentleman
who spoke to a rather well known grass
called Dermott.
And told him all about
what happened at the warehouse.
Good day, gentlemen.
You... ponce!
Why did you do thing like that,
Harry?
Now, look it, Wendy,
I didn't name no names,
I knew Daley had seen Keith,
so I thought,
if the Bill pick up Keith through Daley,
there won't be any comeback
on us.
I don't believe this!
Dad?
You want my Keithy put away,
did you?
Why?
Cos he's right little prat!
He's thick, he's lazy,
he costs us money
and he makes me bloody puke!
What!
Here, Dad, you gonna let him
say stuff like that?
So that's what you think
about my son, is it?
What do you think about him,
Sammy?
Well, Wendy,
basically I agree.
Personally,
I think he's a right worm.
Dad!
They let Tony Apsey go
this morning.
Yeah, I know.
How do you know?
- 'Cos I phoned Chisholm, didn't I?
- Eh?
Dropped Wendy right in it.
Told him I was at the warehouse that day.
Saw everything.
So what are we doing here
then?
Cos Chisholm would be here
any minute.
And I wanna real my spook
when he nicks that fat slug.
As far as I'm concerned,
he k*lled Joe.
I wouldn't give him a penny,
even if I had it.
Hold on.
Here we go.
In the middle!
b*stard!
b*stard!
As soon as he's paid up,
have 'em both.
So where's the bold Chisholm
then, eh?
What's the name
of this ground again?
[TERRY GIGGLES]
Oh, terrific!
All right, Harrison.
You've taken years off my life.
Where's my money?
How does £2.75 grab you?
You piece of rubbish.
Sammy.
[POLICE SIREN]
Let me in!
Let me in!
You nearly scored a try,
son.
Well, they do call it a ruck,
don't they?
- You all right?
- Hello. Yeah.
Mm, smoosh.
He's looking well, isn't he?
Here you are. From the members
of The Winchester Club.
- Ah, ain't 'em lovely?
- Nice of 'em, innit?
- Here you go. A bit of vitamins.
- Oh, lovely.
I got a drink for you an' all.
Oh, thank Gawd...
Oh, Terry!
[TERRY LAUGHS]
Yeah, we so 'Er Indoors that evening,
she looked a bit down in the mess.
Yeah, I sent her off
for the flinearly.
She only made me some sausage sandwiches
and left it on the hall table!
Oh, dear.
You all right, Terry?
- Yeah. Why?
- Oh, just wondered, that's all.
Tony Apsey is out the nick,
Arthur.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
So, you're OK,
right?
Shouldn't I be?
Er... well...
hospital, you know...
it does funny things to people.
It gets some going.
Sets 'em... thinking.
It is the stress.
And I mean... they... say things
or perhaps...
write... things.
Apparently
Wendell's son caved right in.
Put 'em all in the frame.
Shopped his own dad. Who is he?!
Well, I've certainly
had an education today.
This has taught me a lot.
Apparently,
my finer feelings count for nothing.
You had one of those injections
or something?
It's amazing!
He's incredible!
- Tel, chuck us an apple, would you?
- Yeah, yeah.
Ta.
Oh! Listen.
That nurse gave me a note from you.
But I lost it in the ruck
or something.
You mean...
You never read it?
No.
Didn't have time.
Well, it was only about that
non-stick frying pans, wasn't it?
Ha. Spot on.
You shifted 'em, Terry?
Well,
the job's rolling on satisfactorily.
No, no.
That is not good enough.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Come in.
Mr Daley.
Fowler,
hospital administration.
Might I have a word?
Indeed you might,
Mr Fowler.
Would you mind hanging about outside
for a moment, lads?
Yeah, all right.
- See you in a min.
- Yeah.
I've been waiting to complain
about my accommodation.
Quite.
But I'm afraid
I have some rather bad news, Mr Daley.
How do you mean?
When the first year
in your particular scheme...
the insurance company is only responsible
for emergency operations.
So you see
I must ask you
for some surety of payment
for your operation
before you are discharged.
I understand, yeah.
Oh, no, no, no problem. No problem.
Eh...
On your way out,
would you mind asking
my colleagues to pop back in?
- Yeah.
- Ta.
Mr Daley would like to see you.
Cheers.
Mr Daley!
You're not supposed to be
out of bed yet!
Hello, straight up.
I can still feel 'em.
It's like they said
when you have something off,
you know,
you can still feel it.
You telling me
you can still feel your toenails?
Yeah.
- Can you feel that?
- Terry!
No, no, no.
It is a well-known phenomenon.
Mm?
It's a phantom ingrowing toenail.
Terry!
Hello, mate.
- What can I say mate, I owe you one.
- No, it's all right.
Did Green pick up the dummies OK?
- Ah.
- Dummies?
Have I said something?
No, no, it's nothing, love.
It's nothing.
Terry,
how much?
It's nothing!
Well, peanuts!
Hardly covered my expenses.
You taking the...
Michael?
No, there's a little drink in it
for you in there.
Of course there is.
There you go,
c*ck and hen, all right?
- A tenner?!
- Yeah, yeah.
Might as well knock it out, eh?
Come on, Dave!
Terry!
Come baaaaa... ack!
DENNIS WATERMAN:
"I Could Be So Good For You"
♪ If you want to
I'll change the situation
♪ Right people right time
♪ Just the wrong location
♪ I've got a good idea
♪ Just you keep me near,
I'll be so good for you
♪ I could be so good for you,
I'm gonna help you
♪ Love you like you want me to
♪ I'll do anything for you ooh-ooh
♪ I'll be so good for you
♪ I could be so good for you
♪ I'll do it like you want me to
♪ Love you like you want me to
♪ There ain't nothing
I can't go through ooh-ooh
♪ I'll be so good for you ♪
Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register