01x06 - Boardwalk Blowups

[bunniefuu]

I got girls back here almost every night.

There's not a time that I don't have girls coming back.

Girls love the situation.

Alex is so my type.

She's, like, dark hair. I like it dark hair.

He does like dark hair.

[Crying]

you can't hit a girl.

Who the f*ck hits a girl like that?

She's bleeding all over.

Just want to thank god that snickers is okay.

Amen.

I think what happened to snickers

brought us a lot closer to snickers definitely.

I started talking to this hot older chick, this cougar.

Next thing you know, we're just hooking up a little bit.

Who? Danny who?

Me and danny. The two of you?

Oh, my god!

I took the boss' girl.

[get crazy by lmfao]

dj pauly johnston!

I'm going to the jersey shore, b*tch!

All right, we got a situation.

I'm the sweetest b*tch you'll ever meet.

[Laughing]

after I have sex with a guy, I will rip their heads off.

Go, vinny! Go, vinny!

Um, hello!

Hey!

Just want to let you know it was nice knowing you,

'cause I think I'm gonna get evicted.

Why?

I chilled with some girl last night.

I think she was, like, danny's date.

Like, danny, our boss, the owner of this house.

[Laughs]

I found out that this girl tanya,

who I hooked up with last night,

went out on a date with danny that night.

I didn't know this.

You did the robbery, bro,

on our landlord/boss.

I had no idea.

And then at the end of the night, she's like, she's like,

"yeah, when me and danny were at dinner tonight..."

I was like...

[Laughs]

I guess he wined her, he dined her.

He took her out

right before I hooked up with her.

So at this point, I'm like,

"oh, my god, I'm getting evicted from my house."

Yeah, so I just wanted to say it was nice to know you.

[Laughs]

where you going?

Gym, tan, and laundry.

You're welcome to come with us.

To gym, tan, and laundry? Nah.

You're driving me, driver. Let's go.

These guys are robots,

gym, tanning, laundry.

Every day since I got here,

that's what they do every morning...

Gym, tanning, laundry.

You know, that's how they, like, make the guidos.

♪ ♪

You know, I like to look very fresh and mint

when I go out, so, you know, everything goes into it.

You know, you got to go to the gym the whole week, you know.

You have to have a little color

if you're gonna to the beach.

And then the last thing that you need to take care of

is the outfit, okay?

Now, if the outfit is not looking good,

then the whole package is off.

And if you feel off, you're not gonna have a good night.

So how do you get the best results?

G.t.l., Baby.

Gym, tan, laundry,

because if everything's put together

and you feel great, you look great,

awesome night.

I don't follow those rules at all,

especially gym, tanning, laundry.

I could see if it was, like,

basketball, pool, beach.

Like, you know what I mean?

Like, gym, tanning, laundry...

Those aren't fun things at all.

♪ ♪

I have work today,

and I just hooked up with the boss' girl.

Am I a little worried?

Yeah.

[Indistinct chatter]

what's up, my boy vinny? How we doing?

Good. How are you?

Doing good? I'm all right.

Where were you last night?

I didn't see you for a little while.

I went to beachcomber.

Beachcomber. What was going on over there?

Nothing. Nothing?

When I came in the store, I was like...

I got this little awkward tension.

Everyone's eyes are on me and danny.

They're gonna see what's gonna happen.

What is he gonna say to me?

What's up, man? What's up, buddy?

You gonna be able to get your stuff out by tonight?

Yeah.

Rags to riches, that's how it goes.

I really, honestly, i...

It's like, don't cross the boss,

or you sleep under the boardwalk.

If I did something wrong, like...

No, I'm f*cking with you.

I usually don't feel bad

about taking someone's girl, per se,

because that's the girl's fault.

But because it's danny, you know,

I don't want this snowballing into other problems.

You have nothing to worry about.

I might not even go out tonight.

Nothing to worry about?

I'm gonna sit in shame.

Don't worry, I might bring the girl who's got herpes.

[Laughter]

[phone quacking]

hello.

Hi. Is mike there?

No. Is this melissa?

Yeah.

Hey, what's up? It's vinny.

I was just gonna call you.

Yeah, right. [Chuckles]

no, we were supposed to call you

to get you to come to headliners tonight.

No. Yup.

I was talking to the situation's sister,

cute girl, on the phone, very nice.

So I wanted to try to get her

to come out with us and see what happens.

Just have him call me and I'll figure something out.

All right, melissa. All right, bye.

All right, bye.

Yo, situation.

Melissa called. My sister?

Yeah. I was talking to her for minutes.

Really?

She called, and she's gonna try to come to headliners,

but you have to call her back now

and then see what she says.

Look at this little candy smile he's got,

like he's about to meet my sister.

See, he realizes how pretty I am,

and he wants to see my sister.

She wants to see you. Just call her up now.

Call her now? Yeah, call her now.

You were on the phone with her for minutes?

Like, yeah, she's a really sweet girl.

She's really nice, bro. She's really...

She is a nice girl.

I hope the personality matches the looks.

Hello.

Hey, vinny wants to know if you can come out

and at least meet and see him or something like that.

He's a nice staten island kid.

I didn't mind really hooking him up with my sister,

because, you know what, the kid's harmless.

And vinny knows that I'm pretty much the man of the house

and not to push it too far,

or I'm gonna, you know, throw him in my trunk.

Oh, my god, my little sister. Come here.

She's mike without a six-pack.

I was not into it. Make believe you're me.

Mike!

There's three crazy girls in the front right now.

These hippos come into our house.

[Overlapping arguing]

all of a sudden, it was like world w*r iii or something.

[Overlapping shouting]

♪ ♪

My sister's coming with my friend dom.

Wow.

Yo, stay in your own room tonight, dude.

Stay in your own room tonight.

Mike's sister is coming tonight.

Me and her hit it off on the phone.

She seemed like such a sweetheart.

So I'm really excited about meeting her.

Yo, what's up, buddy? What's up, baby?

What's going on? What's up?

Oh, my god, my little sister.

Come here. Oh, I missed you.

First impression, it wasn't bad.

You know, I saw her from a distance:

long, black, curly hair, little body.

But when I saw her up close,

she kind of looked a little bit too much like mike for me,

you know what I mean?

She looked like mike with a wig on.

[Music fades out]

I was a little bit freaked out.

That roommate right there, that's ronnie.

How are you? That's dom, my sister.

Make believe you're me.

She's gonna think you're me.

This is vinny.

That's one of the other roommates.

Nice to finally meet you. Hi. Nice to meet you.

All right, and this is the other roommate.

I met you once before.

That your sister? Yeah.

You guys look alike though. Yeah.

Yeah, a little bit.

I told you I was pretty.

She's mike without a six-pack.

[Laughter]

I was not into it.

Let's go, let's go. Everybody out, everybody out.

♪ ♪

Damn, boy. Whoo!

[Club music]

♪ ♪

Ahh! [Laughs]

when we're out on the b*ttlefield,

I'm, like, the first strike.

You know, it's sort of like they send me out first.

Like the navy seals, they send them out real quick.

And I get sent out,

and, like, a little reconnaissance,

I bring girls back.

And then I share them with everybody else.

Shake what your mama gave ya!

Like, everyone's having a good time,

everyone's dancing.

I see sammi and ronnie just, like, talking,

like, in the corner, secluded.

It's really, like, getting to me,

because we only have two weeks left, you know.

Let's just do it up all together.

Can we go home?

Tell jenn to call a cab.

Ronnie and sammi are m.i.a. As usual.

I have no idea where they went.

As far as I know, they went home.

Every time we go to the club, I see them

for our first drink, and then they're gone.

Ghosts, I don't see them for the rest of the night.

I'm kinda hungry right now.

As the night develops, me and melissa,

we hang out a little bit at the club,

and I can see, like, she has a genuine personality.

And, you know, she grew on me a little bit.

She's a cute girl, and mike's looks

started fading away.

Yeah!

She's a really cool girl.

And, you know, I mean, I'm gonna plan

on talking to her a little bit more.

♪ ♪

When I was dancing at headliners,

I saw my friend mike there.

I actually saw him two weeks ago at the club.

Nothing happened, but he's looking good.

Like, I'd definitely hook up with him.

You guys gotta come back to the house, seriously.

If sh*t happens, sh*t happens, you know.

If one thing leads to another,

I'm not gonna tell him to get off.

[Cheering]

don't spin on me, please.

I'm not even a big drinker.

So I think it just all hit me at once,

and I kinda was, like, wasted.

We're joking around on the cab ride from headliners,

and I was like, "well, I'll step

on your big fred flintstone toe."

And, like, she just did, like, a complete on me.

I was, like, fuming.

I was so pissed, honestly.

I didn't appreciate that at all.

Just like every jersey girl, right?

f*ck that.

You're acting like it. You're acting like it right now.

Really? Yeah.

Acting like it right now.

I felt so disrespected.

I was beyond pissed. I was like, "I'm done.

Don't ever f*ck' look at me in the f*ck' face ever again."

Two low blows tonight, sweetie.

She did something spiteful to me,

so I did something spiteful back.

Come on, pauly.

Ronnie's, like, in pure creep mood.

Some sick sh*t's gonna go down.

Hit me, m*therf*cker!

Ronnie just got into a fight on the boardwalk.

Ronnie just got into a fight on the boardwalk?

Cops!

I feel so sick to my stomach.

I can't believe this just went down.

What happened? What happened?

♪ ♪

We left headliner to go back to the house,

but I wanted to go to another club.

Look at how crowded karma is.

We get to karma,

and, like, I didn't want to be there.

I just wanted to go home

and make out with my friend mike.

So I just tested him a little.

I was like, "listen, if you want to, like, go,

meet girls, whatever, you can go."

I'm going.

[Drum roll]

he freakin' jumped out of the car

like it was on f*ck' fire.

I'm like, what?

Like, what the hell is wrong with me?

Like, I always pick the f*cking losers.

♪ ♪

I have a very short temper, like a short fuse,

and I'm a very moody person.

When I'm in a bad mood, I just want to be left alone.

♪ ♪

Honey, I'm home.

So we get back to the house,

and I look at ronnie,

and he just looks pissed off.

Everything okay, man? No, bro.

Whatever you need, bro, I got you.

Me too. You need it.

So I went upstairs to talk to sammi.

She's, like, in her bed.

He is so upset. What happened?

Well, he f*cked up.

I eventually find out that him and sam are fighting.

You can not be yourself over this f*cking

drunken fight that you're having right now.

He didn't talk about you.

Are you really pissed off about that?

I would love to smack you in the face for that.

What are you doing?

There's no solution to this problem right now.

Seriously.

sh*t was said tonight that, like, can't be taken back.

Honestly.

You should cover your face.

Ronnie comes storming in the room, like,

"you should all just leave her alone, leave her alone."

For a girl that I've done everything for...

Really- to tell me...

To say I can go f*ck myself,

'cause I said you have a big fred flintstone toe as a joke?

Yeah, whatever. Whatever.

You do what you gotta do, sam.

Sam...

Sam, you know what? No, no, no, no, no.

Sam, it is what it is. No, stop.

It is what it is, you know what I'm saying?

I just think, like, he pushed my buttons a little too far.

And I kind of was like, just leave me alone.

I would never make fun of you, ronnie.

Come here, come here, come here.

No, stop. You f*cked me. No, no, I'm not.

I'm not, I'm not playing this game with you.

I don't f*cking f*ck like that.

I'm not playing this game with you.

I happened to meet up with alex,

the same girl that I brought home a couple weeks ago.

Mike! What?

You invited me here. Get your a*s down here.

We did hook up.

But unfortunately, the girlfriend that she was with

blocked the situation.

Alex... What?

You don't wanna do this.

So it didn't work out.

But you know, this chick alex, I think she's cute.

I said "listen, let's go back to the house

and have some pizza."

And she says, "all right, well, I gotta get my stuff

out of my girl's car."

So this girl's supposed to be coming back to the house,

this one girl.

Listen to me, sam,

I took f*cking abuse in that cab, do you realize that?

I care about you. If I didn't care,

I'd be walking down the street right now

to creep with f*ck' pauly and mike.

But I'm not. I'm not. I'm not, you f*cking jerk.

I'm sitting here trying to convince you that I care.

If I didn't, I'd just walk away

and go find another creature outside.

You took low blows tonight, sweetie...

No, you did. You took a lot of...

No, I didn't say I didn't care.

I didn't call you lame as sh*t.

I didn't tell you I don't give a f*ck what you do.

Those words... No, no, no.

Those words came out of your f*cking mouth, sam.

I didn't even wanna deal with it anymore.

It's like the same old sh*t. Like, leave me alone.

Like, I just wanna go to bed. Come here, come here.

Look at me, if you walk away from me right now, sam,

that'll be strike three.

Sam, come here. You're walking away?

All right, you're walking...

'Cause you won't even f*cking...

So walk away then.

That's what you're best at, go.

No, like- no, it's what you're best at.

She did something spiteful to me,

so I'm, like,"f*ck it, I'll do something spiteful back."

I'm back. You're back?

Yeah. Yeah!

Yo, I'm sad but I'm happy. Whoo!

I'm f*ck' happy as f*ck.

But I'm happy, dog. That look in his eye?

He's ready to motorboat.

Come on, paul. I left her at the house

and me and paul left to go

f*cking creep on some girls at karma.

I'm ready to go, bro.

Ronnie's, like, in pure creep mode.

I'm like, "hell, yes, now we can go have some f*ck' fun."

Some sick sh*t's gonna go down.

Did ronnie leave? I think he left for karma.

That jerk-off just went to go creep.

If he doesn't come home with a b*tch, wake me up.

Mike!

Alex rolls up with two giant bodyguards.

And I was like, "oh, no."

That fat girl needs to go.

When I tell her to leave,

this girl starts charging me like a hippo.

[Talking and yelling overlaps]

snook. Huh?

Did ronnie leave?

I saw him walking there.

He left. He left where?

I don't know.

I think he left for karma.

He went to karma? I think so.

I was gonna go talk to him

after, like, I cooled down a little bit.

But he went to karma with pauly.

That jerkoff really just went to go creep.

Guys are all the same, I put money on it.

He brings home a b*tch

and got to her tonight on purpose.

If he doesn't come home with a b*tch, wake me up.

He's not gonna do anything stupid.

I'm telling you. I put money on it.

No, snook, he's bringing home a b*tch.

No, he's not.

She goes, "you're lame as sh*t"

and I didn't' give a f*ck.

That's what she says to me, bro. Oh, wow.

Come on, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Are you kidding me, bro?

And then I have to deal with this sh*t last week

when she f*cking gives the f*cking cop the number, bro?

Yeah. Like, come on, bro.

That's strike f*ck' three, dude.

Ronnie's pissed. You can see it in his face.

Like, he's back, but he's not really back.

I'm not gonna deal with that sh*t.

If you can't f*cking drink, then I can't...

Like, you know what I'm saying, f*ck that.

I was just so angry. I was just like,

"yeah, I'm gonna go creep on girls."

What's up, girl? What's up, baby?

How are you? Cool.

We got to karma,

and I'm just like, "what am I doing to myself?"

I'm like, "I'm not gonna do this."

Pauly's just like, "you know you're gonna

go home and make up with her anyway."

And I'm just like, "I know."

♪ You got a long way to go ♪

♪ and you don't even notice ♪

sam, I made fun of your big toe.

I will suck your big toe right now if you want.

I don't give a sh*t, sam.

I acted like an as*h*le. I really did, you know.

I do regret what I did.

I didn't leave you for no girl.

I would never leave you for a girl.

Believe me.

I didn't; there's no girls to compare to you.

That was fun.

What's up, girls? I'm back.

Why?

My mike comes back with the boys after he went to karma

to find girls with my roommates.

That's f*ck' shady.

I'm not dealing with that sh*t.

Mike is my f*ck' boy.

Ronnie and pauly, I love them too.

Well, why don't you f*cking marry them?

I'm gonna marry you.

Mike always tells me that he likes me or whatever.

You know, he likes spending time with me.

Okay, so let's go back to the house and spend time together.

Don't get out of the car and go to karma to find girls.

You're my friend. Don't f*cking go away...

You told me to f*cking go!

That was a test, you jerkoff.

He's, like, trying to talk to me or whatever.

And I'm just like, "you're nothing to me anymore.

"You're a f*cking loser

for leaving me here, like, by myself."

I'm glad that I know why you come here,

to hang out with my roommates and not me.

No, I came out... I came back to hang out with you, all right?

Lick my a*s.

Mike!

Mike!

I was pretty excited for alex to come back, you know?

But she rolls up with two giant bodyguards.

And one of them was the same grenade

that was here last time.

And I was like, "oh, no."

I'm like, "dude, come on." You know what I mean?

This is totally ruining my night right now.

Yo, there's f*ck'

three crazy girls in the front right now.

Who? Three crazy girls.

There's one, like, huge grenade launcher.

[Laughing]

there's one grenade... Yeah.

And then there's, like, one cute one.

Situation expects me to jump on a grenade.

But I'm not taking one for the team for situation.

Like, I learned a long time ago being a wingman

for situation is not a good idea.

What are you gonna do about this?

There's, like, one dark-haired girl that is cute.

Who do you want out?

The fat girl needs to go. Will I know?

You'll know about the fat girl.

Okay. Mike's like, "listen,

"I only wanna choke this one girl.

Can you get these two others out?"

So I was like, "yeah, fine, whatever."

I don't even want girls in my house to begin with.

Mike! Hey.

[Ohs]

what's up, girl? What's up? What's up?

These hippos come into our house.

So I walk out there to tell them,

you know, you girls need to leave,

like mike asked me to do.

I don't know, but you guys have to leave.

Huh? Like, now.

We did not want to come in here, but she wanted to.

I'm sorry, you gotta leave.

Honestly? You can stay.

But you guys gotta leave. Yeah.

Good night, girlfriend.

Excuse me, if you have something to say,

especially in my f*cking house... What'd you just say?

I just said that you're being disrespectful to us

when we were just invited here.

First of all, this is my f*cking house.

I don't give a f*ck about you.

It's not your house, b*tch.

What the f*ck are you saying?

[Overlapping yelling]

you little a*s b*tch, I'll f*ck you up.

I'll rock your world! I'll rock your world!

[Sirens blaring]

whoa, whoa, whoa!

My face is f*cked up again.

It was crazy, and there's cops everywhere.

Learn when to bring home a nice girl

so I don't have to do that sh*t.

I'm done talking to you.

This guy at the bar I knew was gonna be a problem.

He wanted a problem.

Hit me, m*therf*cker!

Who the sh*t...

♪ ♪

Excuse me, if you have something to say,

especially in my f*cking house... What did you just say?

Mike brought home these creatures

that he didn't wanna hang out with.

So when I tell them to leave,

they're like, just being bitchy to me.

And I'm like, yo, like, this is my house.

Have f*cking respect.

[Yelling and cursing overlapping]

somebody threw a drink.

And then all of a sudden,

it was like world w*r iii or something.

Seriously, get- f*ck off!

[Yelling and cursing overlapping]

you little a*s b*tch, I'll f*ck you up!

I'll rock your world. I'll rock your world!

Will you?

And then this one girl starts,

like, charging me like a f*cking hippo.

[Yelling and cursing overlapping]

stop, stop, stop, stop!

No! I don't give a f*ck.

No, like, seriously, I was honestly...

[Yelling and cursing overlapping]

stop, stop.

[Yelling and cursing overlapping]

let's go! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

[Sirens blaring]

go home! You don't belong here.

You nasty b*tch. Let's go.

You don't even look italian, you f*ck.

Yo, b*tch, keep talkin' sh*t.

I'll f*ck' rock you, b*tch.

You're a f*cking dumb-a*s b*tch.

You're a loser-a*s f*cking b*tch!

At this point, there's cops everywhere.

And I think they ended up arresting

one of the girls that passed out.

But White Tr*sh. What White Tr*sh.

There's a garbage truck to pick them up.

Yo, your ride's here!

[Laughing]

yo, officer.

My face is f*cked up again. You're all right.

You're fine, relax.

Through the scuffle, snooks gets hit

in the face again, poor girl.

She needs to take some karate classes or something.

She needs self-defense.

Somebody gotta teach her how to fight or duck.

The fact that you guys bring girls home like that,

you guys are idiots.

Learn when to bring home a nice girl

so I don't have to f*ck' do that.

I'm so pissed off at mike.

I just fought two b*tches that I don't even care about

for my roommate that's a freaking ret*rd

for bringing them back.

Yo, listen, we were in the middle of...

I don't care. Get the f*ck outta my face.

Were we not grabbin'- get the f*ck out...

Me and him were carrying them out.

Don't give a sh*t. Don't give a sh*t.

Snickers is, like, rocky around here.

Oh, f*ck off.

The fact that I got f*cking hit two days ago,

and then she hits me back in the same f*ck' place.

We were in the middle

of carrying this f*ck' broad out.

I had one and pauly had the other.

And the other girl had no issue.

I'm done with mike's sh*t.

I'm done with him bringing these girls here.

Not only is this your house,

but this is six other people's house.

And then all of a sudden, it's like hair-pullin'...

Oh, oh! Whoo!

[Cheers and applause]

I hate you!

You f*cking as*h*le!

[Laughing] hey!

What'd you say?

Oh!

[All laughing]

ah!

I would definitely say that I felt bad about snickers

getting hit by a couple of linebackers.

I necessarily didn't wanna bring home

any sort of zoo creatures whatsoever.

I mean, these broads just probably

smelled the food at the house.

Don't bring home any f*cking elephants like that ever again.

That's all I have to say.

Yeah, we'll see when you make breakfast tomorrow.

And I'm not cleaning any dishes.

[Elephant trumpeting]

since I took such good care of your sister,

you gonna, like, help me clean, hmm?

We had a crazy night last night,

so the house is a wreck.

I got my family coming in today,

so I'm trying to clean up everything

just to make it look civil.

Straighten everything up on the roof,

cleaning my room, folding my clothes.

You know, I don't want my mom to see my messy room.

She'll k*ll me.

My head hurts.

My family's coming. What time?

Probably like minutes, not even.

Ugh.

This morning, I was, like, hung over really bad

from the night before, so I really

just wanted to just be left alone.

There might be some little rug rats here today too,

so keep it "g."

[Knock on door]

there she is.

Yo!

Hey-oh! Hey.

What's up?

Hi. Hey, joe.

What's up, guys?

These are my roommates.

Vinny's family walks in the door.

There's one; here comes the mom,

here comes the sister, here comes, like, an aunt,

a cousin, another cousin, then a little cousin,

then another cousin.

It's like they kept coming.

Nice to meet you. I'm mom.

I'm vinny's mom. Hi.

I have a huge family, but only,

like, % of them are here,

and it still looks like a lot.

I got my mom, my little sister,

my cousin danielle, her brother sal,

my aunt diana, her two kids,

and my cousin danielle's boyfriend david.

Who's gonna come help us get the food out of the trunk?

I'll come. How many trays you got?

Four.

Those trays have to come out. What?

My mom loves cooking dinner for everybody.

Give me the other one. Oh, it's still hot.

Yeah, it's really hot. It's okay.

I hope it's enough.

It's enough, believe me.

So she brought a smorgasbord of food.

You know, she wanted me to feel like I was home again,

and that's how I eat when I'm home.

My son looks skinny. [Laughs]

when vinny's around at home, there are no leftovers.

She brought, like, four trays of freakin' ziti,

the sauce, you know, all this food.

We got amazing cold cuts, loaves of bread.

I'm like, "oh, my god. It's f*cking christmas."

This looks awesome.

Who are you guys waiting for? I don't know.

Who are we waiting for? It's gonna get cold.

[Laughter]

take it. [Speaking italian]

my mother was born in sicily.

My family is all sicilian, so this is the real deal.

[Speaking italian]

oh, my god. Delicious. Oh!

Sal.

How many need salt?

Joseph, what do you want, bologna?

Vinny's mom reminds me of my grandmother.

Like, when she cooks, she never sits down.

Like, she's always like, "oh, do you need this?

Do you need that?"

Like, that's, like, a true italian woman.

Like, you know, you want to please everyone else

at the table, and then when everyone's done eating,

you clean up, and then you eat by yourself.

So, you know, right from the bat, like,

when she did that, I knew she was a great freaking woman.

Mom, that was good.

I'm gonna start coming to your house just to eat.

[Laughter]

vinny? What?

Here's your undershirts, your tank tops.

And where's the bed?

I brought your socks.

I'm definitely a mama's boy.

I don't take advantage of her, but at the same time,

she lives for taking care of me.

Vinny's mom is, like, old-school italian.

Like, she kind of reminds me of my mom.

She's always cleaning. She's going to town.

She's cleaning the kitchen, doing the dishes.

She's got the vacuum out right now.

Like, she's really hooking the house up.

They can come once a week.

Vinny's family's cool with me. [Chuckles]

thank you. Bye.

Bye again, guys. Take care.

Love you, vin. Bye.

It was great, you know, just to have my family here.

I think my mom definitely has a little bit more peace of mind

knowing, like, where I am, who I'm with,

what kind of environment I'm in.

I have a nice house.

Got people around me that care about me,

so just gives my mom more peace of mind.

And when she's happy, I'm happy.

I knew that the guy wanted to fight.

Hit me, m*therf*cker!

Apparently I caused this.

He didn't want anything to do with me.

Ronnie, stop. [Crash]

♪ ♪

Tonight we hit up a few bars on the boardwalk.

We go to beachcombers.

That's, like, our spot.

We're flirting with the bartenders,

doing our usual, getting a few drinks.

New york. What?

But this guy at the bar, the way he was saying things,

I knew it was gonna be a problem.

He wanted a problem.

This guy was talking sh*t,

and he was, like, yelling, "go back to new york,"

or something like that and, um,

just kind of giving us dirty looks all night.

I had a bad vibe about this guy.

This guy across the bar is starting trouble.

I didn't really want to deal with it,

'cause we been getting into scraps

everywhere we go, you know?

So I just wanted to not even get involved.

I see sammi and ronnie once again just, like, talking,

like, in the corner while everyone else is,

like, taking shots and having a good time.

You know what? This is so stupid.

Like, we only have two weeks left,

so, you know, that's why I said something.

Snookie basically says that everybody in the house

thinks that me and ronnie don't go out

and me and ronnie don't do anything.

All we do is sit home.

We care about, like, ourselves, which is not true at all.

What do you mean we need a family meeting?

I'm not, like, five years old.

I thought it was, like, f*cked up that you were even,

like, saying sh*t.

I really don't give a sh*t

what people think at this point.

Like, I'm happy with sam, so, I mean,

if people are uncomfortable with it,

then they can get the f*ck over it,

because I just feel like it's jealousy.

'Cause I'm gonna have to go home.

Like, I don't f*ck' like... No, control yourself.

You're with me. Have a good time. Come on.

Let's not get mad. It's jealousy.

They're jealous. That's all it is.

It's a slow night at the beachcomber,

and we need to get some girls up in here,

so me and pauly decide to walk back to the house

and try to get some girls to come over to the house.

Yeah, we got to make a call, and let's make it happen.

Mike's doing his thing on the phone.

He finds, like, random numbers next to the phone,

or whatever numbers he had,

he starts dialing and calling people.

Hello? Hey, jackie. What's up?

Oh, my god.

Cat, what up?

Kaley? Yeah.

It's mike. Hey.

Hey, if you want, we could go out,

get a couple drinks.

Maybe... Do you live close to me or no?

[Dial tone]

towards the end of the night, everybody's doing

their own thing, and ronnie and I were kind of, like,

ready to go, and so we kind of, like, just got out of there.

Just gonna shut my mouth and go to bed tonight.

Ronnie and I leave, and we see the stupid son of a b*tch guy

and his girlfriend that's at the bar, like, grilling us,

making fun of us the whole night.

You guys want to fight? I'm all right, thank you.

I'm tired. These are our jobs!

That's what I'm talking about.

So we keep on walking, and they followed us

and harass us.

[Mocking laugh] shut up.

You heard me.

I won't repeat myself twice.

Come on, she's a female.

I said I won't repeat myself twice.

Shut up. Dude, stop.

Keep walking though. She's a female.

She's a female, bro.

He starts screaming at her. I'm like, "listen, bro.

"It's a woman, and you're a grown man.

Like, how tough do you feel yelling at a woman?"

There's no need for that.

I'm not from staten island, bro, actually.

Stop.

You should get your facts straight, bro.

Get your f*ck' facts straight.

You guys are, like, years old.

Stop. You're better than that.

You.

I knew that the guy wanted to fight,

and sammi was just, like, antagonizing it.

Is that fake louis vuitton? Stop.

Stop, stop. It's real, b*tch.

What is that, a sundress?

'Cause I never seen f*ck' sh*t like that.

Like, I think my grandma wears that.

Stop! If you're years old,

you're better than that.

Stop, 'cause you're f*ck' antagonizing it.

You're f*cking antagonizing it, sam.

I don't f*cking need this sh*t.

When ronnie pushes me, I'm like, "I'm out,"

and I just walk; it just went downhill.

Keep walking, bro.

Let's go.

Come at me, bro.

Come at me. Come on. Come at me, bro.

Come on. I f*ck' pray.

Come at me, bro. Come at me, bro.

Come at me. I'm right here.

I'm right... No, no. Move.

Come at me, bro. I'm f*cking standing right here.

Come at me, bro. Put your hands up, bro.

Come here, bro. I'm right here!

Move your girlfriend, bro. Move. Come on, bro.

You have a job!

Don't touch me. Stop.

Control your girl. Control your girl.

I'll get the f*ck' cops here right now.

Get away from me. Get away from me!

I don't f*cking know you!

I don't f*cking know you! What are you gonna do?

What are you gonna do?

What are you gonna do, bro? What are you gon' do?

Come on!

His girlfriend starts swinging at me,

scratches the side of my face.

I didn't want to raise my hand to her,

so, like, I just, like, kept backing up,

but at the same time, this guy is trying to, like,

swing over his girlfriend,

which is a completely p*ssy move.

Hit me, m*therf*cker!

[Indistinct yelling and grunting]

f*ck you. f*ck you.

m*therf*cker!

Everything just, like, happened.

In my head, it was so like, "oh, my god."

I didn't know what to do.

[Phone trilling] hello?

Who is this? Vanessa.

[Phone beeps] hold on one second.

There's somebody else trying to call.

Hello?

Is pauly there?

I'm actually on the other line right now, and pauly...

Well, no, no, no, no. Doesn't matter who I talk to.

But ronnie just got into a fight on the boardwalk.

Like, really bad.

Ronnie just got into a bad fight on the boardwalk?

In the middle of the boardwalk now.

Come on.

f*ck. Stop!

Ronnie, come on.

Let him go!

Let go.

Hey, ronnie.

Get the f*cking cops!

♪ ♪

f*ck.

Where you at?

We got a phone call that ronnie's been in a fight,

so me and situation run down to the boardwalk

and hoping to find ronnie.

f*ck, come on! Stop!

Ronnie, come on.

[Overlapping dialogue]

I didn't know what to do, so I tried to, like,

grab the guy's pants and, like, yank him off.

Get the f*ck up. Stop fighting!

Get the cops!

Let him go. Let him go!

Get the f*cking cops!

Let him go. Stop.

You started all night at the bar.

Stop. Oh, sh*t.

[Siren wailing]

come on. [Indistinct]

hello? Cops!

[Siren wails]

I just walk away, because I'm not gonna get arrested

for a f*cking d*uche bag.

Where's ronnie?

Looking around for ronnie. Can't find anybody.

But we hear, like, some police siren.

What happened? What happened?

This sh*t.

Really, ronnie? Like...

Don't talk to me. Are you f*ck' serious?

Yeah. What the f*ck?

You started it. Stop.

There's no need for that, f*ck' ronnie.

Stop.

I mean, I was heated, you know?

Pissed, you know, that I blamed it on her.

Like, I just, like- I was just like,

"get the f*ck away from me.

It's your fault."

Stop. It's all because of you.

Are you f*cking kidding me?

Because of you.

'Cause you had to call him a f*gg*t, right?

I feel absolutely horrible.

I feel so, like, sick to my stomach.

I can't believe this just went down.

Don't touch me. Don't touch me right now.

[Sighs]

he didn't want to...

He didn't want anything to do with me.

Where's ronnie?

They're right off the boardwalk.

Who? Right now?

Ronnie and them. Right now?

They're... Well, it's them.

[Horn honks]

what happened?

What happened?

What? That kid?

What kid?

Ronnie looks f*cked up. His eye's swollen.

He had gotten into a fight with the same guy

that I told everybody there was gonna

be a problem with at beachcombers.

But where's sam?

I don't give a f*ck.

After the fight, ronnie, like, walks home without me.

I'm kind of, like, by myself,

like, in the middle of this place.

He didn't give a f*ck. He just went home.

And I don't think it was cool that he did that.

Where you guys going?

[Whistles]

between snickers starting trouble, the fight,

sammi being mad at me, I was so angry.

I was just, like- I had to cool down.

[Grunts]

crash!

Said they was drunk.

Apparently I caused this, which is bullshit,

'cause I didn't.

When I get back to the house,

I don't want anything to do with him.

Don't even f*cking talk to me about it.

And she gets mad 'cause I pushed her,

'cause she's going, bro.

She's going and going, and I'm like, "f*cking stop!"

I'm like, "I don't f*cking need this sh*t, bro!"

I'm f*cking years old.

I don't need to f*ck' fight

over a f*ck' girl at seaside, bro.

And I was like, "wait. He pushed you?"

And she was like, "yeah.

Like, I'm done with this sh*t."

Like, you don't push a girl.

And I understand where she's coming from,

'cause I just got hit in the face by a guy.

Come here. Come here.

I did not mean to push you.

No, stop. No, come here.

No, no. Come here.

No, no, no. Like, stop.

I felt so bad because, you know, she was crying.

Like, I kind of shoved her, which I should have never done,

because I don't, like...

I never raised my hand to a woman in my life.

You know what I mean? I have a single mother...

Raised; I don't f*ck' do sh*t like that.

You just f*ck' traumatized me.

Do you understand that?

f*ck' traumatized me.

Like, stop.

I'm sorry I touched you.

I finally cooled down, and I apologized to her,

you know, because we both

shouldn't have been mad at each other.

We should have been mad at them,

because we didn't do anything to each other.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry too.

I never meant to touch you, sam.

I have the best girl in seaside,

and I don't want to mess this up.

♪ Yeah yeah ♪

♪ we look into each other ♪

♪ your eyes your eyes ♪

♪ they tell a story ♪

♪ what do you see ♪

♪ what do you see ♪