04x12 - Ciao, Italia

[bunniefuu]

salud!
yeah, buddy!

Italy. Yeah, buddy.
We're going to jersey.

Yeah, buddy!

Imagine walking into karma
and being like...

"Whoo!"

I just miss the shore,
and we're going back.

I'm going into my room
back in jersey.

Why can't you, pauly,
and mike get a room together?

'Cause mike brings drama.
And we're not like that.

We're drama-free.

I can't live with
that f*ck' d*uche bag.

You know people
don't like you.

You either get punched
in the face,

You have to run
into a wall,

Champagne bottle thrown
at your head...

And then spatulas.
Shut the f*ck up!

How many wake-up calls
does mike need?

I'll eat you, m*therf*cker!

If mike right now
gets into a fight,

I'm not gonna jump in.

Who's got your back
when you're fighting?

Turn around and look
who's with you...

You know
who your friends are.

Whoo!

[Club music]

I'm going to
jersey shore, b*tch.

All right,
we got a situation.

I'm the sweetest
b*tch you'll ever meet.

[Laughing]

After I have sex with a guy,
I will rip their heads off.

Go vinny, go vinny!

You like the boobs?

Whoa! No chick in the crib.

But I got my pants off.

You do not wanna start
with me, son.

f*ck' eat your face,
c*ck sucker.

[Squawks]

Oh, that was a nice one.

Eat your face on saturday,
eat your face on monday.

Every two days,
I'm gonna eat your face.

You're f*ck' crazy, kid.

I hear mike walking around
being a f*cking weirdo.

[Door closes]

Somebody's up.

She's up.

Oh! You stayed home.

Snooki...

How are you, snooki?

Talking to mike
is the last thing

I wanna do right now.

I love snooki.

Are you okay?

Snooki's f*ck' sleeping.

Bye, snooks.

Snooki's f*ck' sleeping.

[Crunches on sandwich]

♪ Backstabbing,
money-grabbing ♪

♪ Teenage punk ♪

♪ He's gonna kick it
with his new job ♪

Let's go home because I'm
really f*cked up right now.

Get it, get it, get it,
get it!

I think
we should have shuffled.

[Singing]

I'm cutting him off.
That's it, he's f*cking cut.

That's what it comes down to.
You need to say something?

I'm gonna f*cking
say something at this point.

What?
I don't know!

I feel like mike...
He's, like, making this house,

Like, on edge.

Nobody ever confronts him
about it.

So I feel like if ron, like,
talked to him,

It would, like, snap him
out of it a little bit.

Mike, wake up.
[Snaps]

Wake up, let's go.
I wanna talk to you.

Let's go.

Come on, about everything.
Let's go.

Come on.

Look, you know I'm serious,
dude.

Gonna put everything
on the f*ck' table right now.

Let's go.

Tonight, mike causes drama
in the club.

It seems like lately,
mike's been doing nothing

But starting problems,
and we're just sick of it.

So I have to talk to him.

Close the doors.
Close everything.

Sit down, dog.

I'm gonna say something
right now.

I'm airing it all out.

You cause a lot of sh*t
that goes on.

The snooki sh*t,
the deena sh*t.

Stop trying to cause problems.

Between me and you,
I feel like the villain.

Okay.
I feel like the bad guy.

Listen, mike,
whatever bridges you burned,

Try to fix them.

If you can't fix them,
you gotta go.

Really?
Yes.

Man up, dog.

Whoever you think you did
wrong to, apologize to, bro.

I'm the bad guy
right now.

Nope.

I know you're depressed
right now,

And you feel like everyone
in the house

Doesn't like you, right?

You want me to be honest?
Be very honest?

I only want a couple bridges.
I don't want all of 'em, dog.

It's...

Dude, I been alone the last,
like, two, three days...

It sucks.

I was like, "dude..."
It f*cking sucks.

I was like,
"I'd rather be by...

I'd rather... Scoot.
Scoot."

Hey, if you don't like me,
I don't care.

It's about being real.

I took time and breath out
of my f*cking life,

And at this point
if he doesn't apologize,

I'm done trying to walk him
off the ledge.

I'm done trying
to help him out.

If he wants to act like act
like angelina,

Let him act like angelina.

What were you saying
out there

With f*cking what's-a-name?

"Just man-up and stop being
a p*ssy and...

Crying about your feelings
and man up and apologize."

You think he will?

See what happens.
I tried.

I put myself out there.

Maybe you said
the right thing.

I know I did.

He needs a guy's
point of view.

He needs a f*cking man.
I told him to man up.

He needs another man
to tell him what's right.

Because no one else will.

Good for you, baby,
I love you.

You did the right thing.

Tell you one thing though...

If he f*ck with me
in jersey,

I'll f*ck' k*ll him.

I'll f*ck' k*ll him.

Pfft.

Sam and ron,
you gonna get it in?

[Laughing]

It's a little weird because
you don't think to do it

When, like, everybody's home.

In-house walk of shame.

Took five minutes for them
to get their smush on.

No wonder why sam
never smiles.

Come on, bro, why you gotta
bump into me, man?

f*ck you in your face
right now?

Mike is on another planet
right now.

Kick you in your
f*ck' head.

What is wrong with you,
bro?

Deena, you want
my shift tonight at work?

[Snickers]
what?

Yeah, right.

Thank god.
Last day at work.

Oh, it's beautiful out today.

So I have my last shift
at the pizzeria,

And it's with vinny
and sammi.

All right,
it's our last day of work.

Let's party.

It's party after 9:00.
Okay.

I enjoyed working
at the pizzeria.

It was fun, I loved everybody
that worked there.

So... For me, I'm gonna be
very upset,

Like, saying good-bye to marco
and the pizzeria.

[Laughing]
I'm pauly d.

Pauly, that's my pizza.

Come on.
Huh, buddy?

What the heck?
I'm on break.

I am on break!

I'm on break!

Your break is over, man.
I'm on break!

Last day of work,
I'm having fun.

I'm being loud
like I always am.

I'm on break!
Yeah. [Speaking italian]

I'm on break!

[Speaking italian]

I'm gonna translate for him.
Go ahead.

ciao.
hello.

como se va?
what's up?

buona noche.
good night... In spanish.

[Indistinct]
what the f*ck do you want?

- bella sera.

[Laughing]

[Coming from bullhorn]
I'm on break!

Calling all cars,
calling all cars.

Definitely having fun,
my last day at work

Messing around with
the customers.

Guys, guys, come here.
What's up, bro?

He tells you what kinda
pizza we have here.

What kinda pizza
you got?

[Coming from bullhorn]
I'm on break!

We kinda formed like
a little family in the pizzeria

Over a short period of time,

And I'm definitely gonna
miss those people at work.

[Speaking italian].

See you, marco!

We can if you want.

[Laughs] right now?

Yeah!
Let's go.

Yeah, buddy.

Sam and ron,
you gonna get it in?

Do your thing, girl.

[Ronnie laughing]

This is awkward.

It's a little weird,
'cause you don't think to do it

When, like, everybody's home.

But what are you gonna do?

Like, I need to get my smush on.

Like, I needed to relieve
some stress.

Like, it needed to be done.

[Panting, laughing]

Where you coming from?
What the hell?

What the hell?

I need to shower again.

Wow.
[Laughing]

[Indistinct]
yeah, buddy.

Ronnie and sam walk
into the smush room.

Five minutes later, they walk
out for the walk of shame.

In-house walk of shame.
Yeah, buddy.

The whole house knows
it took five minutes for them

To get their smush on.

No wonder why sam never smiles.

[Line trilling]

Hello?
Hey, boo.

Ooh!
What's doing?

Nothing.
Today's one of our last days.

Are you ready to get
out of there?

Oh, yeah,
I need to come home.

I need a break.

I know.

It's... It's just, you know.

I'm not going back to jersey.

Why?
That's silly.

No. It's...

It's just the way it is.
It's just...

The biggest thing you don't
wanna do is regret.

I'm not the type of person
that has regrets.

I make my decisions
and I move forward.

Well, you gotta weigh out
the pros and cons.

I mean, in the end,
it's up to what you wanna do.

All the roommates,
they thought I was the cause

Of all these problems.

So they sort of said, "f*ck
mike and f*ck the drama..."

Well, guess what.

They can go back to jersey
without me.

See how they fare.

All right, love you.

All right, I love you too.
Bye.

So mike says he's not coming
to jersey.

Is he really not?

There's no way.
He wants us to feel bad.

Mike's starting this drama
to get our attention.

'Cause when he doesn't do this,

He just gets lost
in the f*cking mist.

Well, I don't feel bad.

I won't.

Whatever. It's his choice,
not our problem.

I know.

Oh, my god, look at her.
Look at her.

Are we that bad?

So this drunk girl,
she's kind of like us

When we're bombed.

No! No!

She just f*cked
my clutch!

I'm gonna miss you, snooks.

You're not going?

I just can't do it,
you know.

My mind is made up,
pretty much.

I doubt it.

Honestly, if mike wasn't
in jersey,

It wouldn't break my heart.

He pretty much f*cked himself.

♪ Once you let
the spark ignite ♪

♪ Can't be undone,
the time has come to light ♪

How about this one
or this one?

♪ To light the dynamite ♪

Oh, come on.

♪ And run ♪

[Pauly laughing]

Shaving your beard
with your bra on.

[Line trills]

Hey, babe.
Hey, I'm sickies again.

You're sick?
Yeah.

I went out last night.
I kinda forced myself.

And I am like down
for the count.

Your body just gets run down,
you know?

Probably just need like a good
night of sleep, you know?

Yeah, I'm not going out
tonight.

I can barely stand.
I feel like I'm gonna faint.

Both: I love you.

So I'm laying down tonight.
I'm not going out.

I need to fix myself.

You all right?
Yeah.

I figure if I sleep it off...

Bye!
Yeah, boy!

So tonight, everybody's going
to full up for the first time.

Everybody says it's a dope club,

So I'm excited to see
what it's like.

♪ We raise it up ♪
♪ we raise it up ♪

♪ We put 'em down ♪
♪ we put 'em down ♪

What up, what up?

[Indistinct chatter]

♪ We party up ♪
♪ we party up ♪

♪ We party down ♪
♪ we party down ♪

♪ We pump it up till
we can break it back down ♪

♪ Down ♪

I'm doing my thing,
gettin' girls.

I'm having a blast.
I'm having a good time.

♪ We party down ♪
♪ we party down ♪

♪ We party down ♪

I'm f*cking hot
in here.

Can we go somewhere else?

There's nothing
about this club I like.

It's like a basement
frat party.

Team meatballs
can take off.

Stay out late?
Okay.

I look at nicole and I'm just
like, "let's get out."

The drunker I get,
usually the cuter the girls get.

But tonight, the opposite
is happening.

The drunker I get,
the uglier the girls get.

So I need to f*ck' bounce.

I wanna go to twice
and change the scenery

And see if I can get
some cute girls tonight.

Yo, it's...
It's not popping.

We should make a move
to twice.

I don't wanna leave full up
right now

Because I'm drunk,
I'm having fun.

Why do I wanna leave?

We're gonna go to twice.

I know you're not feeling it,
but let me know.

No, I'm not gonna go.
All right.

Come to my house?

Oh, I love the breeze.

This is wonderful.

Down there, it was like
a freakin' basement.

I was getting boob sweat.
I was getting like cuca sweat.

as*h*le sweat.
as*h*le sweat.

I am an awesome navigator,
I just have to say.

I'm having sex with
the couch right now.

Oy vey!

This is one of the last
meatball nights in italy,

And me and nicole are like
"let's go freakin' hard."

[Club music]

♪ ♪

Who's that chick?
Who's that chick?

So this drunk girl is kinda
like us when we're bombed.

Oh, my god, look at her.
Look at her.

Are we that bad?
Oh, my god.

That's probably us.

You're being an annoying.

Snook, my clutch.

No, no!

Eew!

She just f*cked
my clutch!

I know!
I don't want to touch it.

Girls are already here.

How the hell did they
get here before us?

Vinny!
Yo, d.t.f., D.t.f.

What are you talking about?
She's wasted.

White girl wasted.
D.t.f. Whoooo!

When we get into twice,
surprise, surprise!

We see the meatballs
going crazy right now.

Meatball power is
in full effect tonight.

Yeah!

Yo, I didn't even know
you guys left.

Yeah, we were over it.
Yeah, me too.

Oh, my god.
[Laughing]

I'm having a great time
with the boys right now.

We're all just chillin',
drinking, dancing,

Having a good time,
and you know what... I love v.p.

They don't dance
like this out here.

Let's get outta here.
It's cold out.

I don't know how to get
home from here.

We're gonna make a left.

We gotta wait for
what's-his-name.

Had a good time.
I thought that place was chill.

- magnifico.

So I'm with this girl,
she's kinda okay,

But she's like a guarantee.

ciao, grazie.

Take care, buddy.
Okay.

She got her tatas all out,
and um, she wants to get it in.

Where do I live?
I have no idea.

Neither do i.

Hey, you okay?

But, um, this girl's a little
bit too tipsy.

Let me know.
Oh!

Oh, let's go.
Party foul.

Party foul.

So um, we call her a cab,
and I'm gonna see her

Another time.

Taxi! I need a ride.

Or never.

I just gotta take
my shoes off...

'Cause I'm really over them.

I'm really done with them.

So right now, I just wanna
freakin' get home

And, like, lay down.

So I just take off my freaking
shoes and I run with it.

Go this way.

Oh, my god, I totally know
where we are.

We went the wrong way.

We have to go this way.
Oh, you make a right.

That's what you do.

Cool! Like, we're definitely
lost right now.

You know what, these trees
just came here the other day

And never said anything.

[Gasp]
dee, get off the tree.

Dee, get off the tree.

Oh, we're home!

If it wasn't for meatball
number two,

Meatball number one
would be lost.

And what is meatball number two
without meatball number one,

You know?

Let me just see your feet.

No, they're really bad.
Oh, my god. [Laughing]

Eew, don't put it by my face.
I need to clean my feet.

Eew, dee!

Gettin' my blanky ready
for jersey.

Sleeping for 21 hours was
such an unbelievable feeling.

I feel 100% better.
Yo.

What?
Let's go give marco the gift.

A shirt, remember?
Right.

Yo, you gotta pick out
something to give marco.

Go ahead and give him
something.

Marco wants us to bring back
a piece of clothing

That represents each one of us

So we hang up on his laundry
line in his pizzeria.

In italy, apparently
it's, like, a tradition, like,

I guess to represent a memory.

I'm gonna give him this one,
'cause he'll know it's me

From the star on my elbow.

What about you, deena?

Underwear.
Cool.

What the hell?
[Laughing]

I didn't even know deena wore
underwear,

To be honest with you.

This is a beautiful
tanning day.

Ciao!
Hey-oh!

Yay, my bra!

I gotta go grab a scissors.

I don't know when
I meet you again...

Come to jersey!
Come to jersey!

You can stay
in the smush room.

[Overlapping chatter]

Hey, got it,
good for you.

That's for laundry line.

Yeah, si.
ooh!

Those are dirty,
those are dirty!

It's clean.

How do you say skid mark?

Marco has a clothing line
hanging in the pizzeria.

I don't know if it's some kind
of italian tradition,

But whatever it is,
you're supposed to hang

Pieces of laundry on it to
remember certain things about.

Okay.
Heeey!

Your turn.
[Mumbling in italian]

It's the first thong.
Yea!

When you're trying
to eat pizza,

There's nothing less appetizing
than deena's dirty thong

Hanging right above you.

I wanna hang this,
see the star?

All: oh!

And my booby shirt.
Oh, my god.

That's how you wear
a boob shirt.

Yeah.
My bra.

Oh!
Animal print.

You need sammi's sweetheart
short-shorts.

Especially for you!

Eew, you better wash
your hands.

All: yay!

I love!

We look legit.

We have our own line of just
like guido/guidette sh*t.

There we go.
I love it.

[Speaking italian]
ciao.

Thank you.
We'll be in touch.

You got my number.

Wah!
[Speaking italian]

Love you.
Mwah.

Take care.
Okay.

Mimo.
Mimo, thank you.

ciao.
aww.

[Speaking italian]

It's hard to find good,
legit genuine people

In this world,
and we came to italy,

And we met marco and mimo
and the girls in there.

It was just bittersweet.

We wanna leave,

But we don't wanna
say good-bye to our friends.

You love my mozzarella.

She loves your ba*ls, baby.
She loves your ba*ls.

Yeah. My ba*ls.
Don't touch my ba*ls!

I love them.

ciao, my brother.
ciao.

Good-bye.
Good-bye.

Mike!

I love you guys.
Love you, miss you.

I miss you.

I'm calling in reference
to a tour.

What do you prefer
between art and history?

What do you guys like better,
art or history?

[Giggling]

What is he doing right now?

Whatever mike is doing...
If he's separating himself

From us, or if it's us
alienating him,

He's just never around.

If he's not gonna be
a part of it,

He's not gonna be
a part of it.

We're not gonna hold his hand.
That's all I know.

Yo, why do I get
all the heavy stuff?

[Grunts]
we're on our way to america.

We're done with the pasta,
the pizza, the wine.

So we're gonna barbeque
and make american food.

I would slice them
sausages open.

I'm just saying.

I'm gonna give you f*cking
charcoal, bro.

Hoo!

Dinner's ready.

f*ck' vinny's
a grill master, bro.

This is the best day
of my life right now.

I'm a fat kid deep down inside,
so I'm in heaven right now.

Our last american meal
in italy.

I don't know about
everybody here,

I'm f*ck' pale.

I gotta get to jersey.
I know.

First thing I'm gonna do
when I get to the shore

Is go straight
to the tanning salon.

Luckily, I'm tanned skin

And I'm still one of
the tannest in the house.

But I'm embarrassed to leave
the house this pale.

You wants to leave italy
and go to jersey?

[Hysterical laughter]

Before we leave,
we gotta go sightseeing.

I'm down.
Sightsee and then pack.

Sightseeing
and then leaving.

No, we gotta go out
one more time.

Yeah.

All right, all right,
all right.

Sightseeing, one last blast.
Go hard, leave.

And then to get the f*ck
outta here.

Everybody got here psyched
on partying

And going out
and seeing the clubs.

We never really went sightseeing
like as an activity.

Eew.
Are we done, samantha?

Oh, grazie.

Hell has froze over,
and the girls are cleaning up

After dinner.

Oh, my god!

Follow my example, people.

I might put this hot dog
on my vag*na, I'm so horny.

Seeing nicole cleaning is
like seeing mike with a condom.

It just doesn't happen.

What the f*ck have you done
with snooki?

I want the old snooki back!

All right, gimme a bottle
of wine.

[Chuckling]

That was awesome!

That was awesome!

That was the best day of
my whole entire life,

Ever since I been here.
Yes.

Tell him we want the works.
We wanna see it all.

Gym, tanning, the laundry.

[Speaking italian]

We're calling in reference
to a tour around florence.

We've been here a long time,
and we haven't really seen

Anything yet.

What do you prefer
between art and history?

Hold on, hold on.
Let me check.

What do you guys like better,
art or history?

[Giggling]

Maybe a little bit of both.
A little art and history.

Or maybe a little history
of the art, you know?

This tour guide does not
have any idea

What he's getting
himself into.

We'll see what happens
tomorrow.

Yo, you k*lled this, huh?

Yo, tomorrow in front
of the duomo at 1:00.

We all gotta be there.

Yo, tomorrow,
in front of the duomo...

[Both laughing]

I have no clothes.

Whoa! Chair's broken.

I'm not falling.

Gonna miss you, snooks.

What do you mean?
We're not going anywhere.

I'm not... I'm probably not
coming to jersey.

Yeah, right.

I'm pretty positive
the answer's no.

And I can't... I just can't
go straight, you know?

I need to put myself back
together again, you know?

You're not going?

I go hard for too long,
and I crash.

I feel like if mike wasn't
in jersey,

It wouldn't break my heart.

Mike starts drama.

It's his own fault.

He pretty much f*cked
himself.

I just can't do it,
you know?

My mind's made up
pretty much.

I doubt it.
Dude, I'm telling you.

I can't... I argue with everybody.
It's too stressful for me.

I wear my heart
on my sleeve, so...

Well, it's your decision.
Yup.

I was like, "what the f*ck?"

I thought snooki would tell me
to stay.

Here in florence,
I definitely turned a corner

In a big way with
all the roommates.

You know what?

They're not gonna be able
to take advantage

Of the situation anymore.

I'm done with it.

Oh, look at that butt.

If I could change the statue
of david,

He would legit look
like a guido.

He could have a spray tan.

And also, his weiner
just doesn't cut it,

But probably 'cause he's soft.

I got a master plan.

It was really perfect timing
for me to apologize.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.
I apologize.

I'm sorry.

I had no idea
that was coming.

Snook! Deena!

Already sweating.
f*ck.

So this morning
we're all waking up

And we have to, you know,
do the tour today,

And, um, I'm not really excited
about it.

Oh, my god.

Do you wanna take, like, liquor
if we get bored?

Yo, do you guys know
where the duomo is?

He said he's gonna meet us
over there.

You gotta make a right.

Oh, is that him
with the american flag?

I take it that's our
tour guide.

We see this chubby little
round potato guy

Holding up an american flag.

I'm like, oh, I guess
that's gotta be for us.

My name is bernardo,
and I'm your guide

For this walking tour.

Are we walking the whole time?
Yes.

But it's a couple of hours.
Couple hours of walking?

Couple of hours.
Of walking?

I'm really not looking forward
to the tour.

I'm really tired.
I just wanna relax and chill.

We will start our tour.

The duomo is the largest
church of florence.

Ugh, it's hot.
I'm already sweating.

This is miserable.

History is not my thing.

Walking around for ten hours
is not my thing.

Ugh, f*ck my life.

That way.

Do we get like
a lunch break?

Can I use the bagno?

Now we will walk ahead,
some steps more.

I'm gonna pee myself.

This building,
the last window,

The one above the arch...

I know that it looks like
an ordinary pair

Of closed shutters,

But it's where
leonardo da vinci

Painted mona lisa.

What?
mona lisa.

Really?
Get outta here.

Which one?

Get the f*ck outta here.
Really?

I had no idea.
I pass that sh*t every day.

That statue is david.

Made by michelangelo.

As my wife used to say,

The best side of those statues
is the back.

Ooh, look at that butt.
That's a nice a*s.

I think the statue of david
is pretty sexy.

I would do it.

If I could change
the statue of david,

He would legit look like
a guido.

He could have a spray tan.

And also his weiner
just doesn't cut it,

But probably
'cause he's soft.

The building
is the town hall.

I like that you take a look
at the facade of this building.

What is he doing right now?

It looks like fortress,
a castle.

Hanging out, I guess.

Every now and then,
I gotta get away from everybody

And get a couple minutes
to myself.

Almost like you know,
a dad gets away from the kids

And goes to mow the lawn
or goes to fix the car.

Let's go and see
this wonderful place inside.

Oh, look how beautiful
that is, like, the murals.

Wow, look at how nice
it looks.

The ceiling was painted
by giorgio vasari

To glorify the marriage.

Cupid, the son of venus,

Who will throw
the arrow of love.

So they're real?

What do you mean "are real"?
The babies with wings.

They are characters
of mythology.

That's cool.
Yes, yes.

They are considered the gods
of the greeks and romans.

This is the pope himself,
celebrating the new cardinals.

But what I like that you take
a look is the square.

Unfortunately,
michelangelo did the sketch,

But never worked on it.

Here, they are sh**ting,
but not on the people.

Just to make some noise
because of the party.

Whatever mike is doing, if
he's separating himself from us,

Or if it's us alienating him,
he's just never around.

If he's not gonna be
a part of it,

He's not gonna be
a part of it.

We're not gonna hold his hand.
That's all I know.

Snooks, set the table
real quick.

Mike volunteered to make
everybody breakfast

Because he tries
to manipulate people.

I'm ready for jersey.

I was like contemplating
not going, but I'm going.

I have no problem
being the villain.

I will take on
the whole house at once.

Pleasure for me to meet you.

There is a sort
of square terrace

Up on the hills...
Piazzale michelangelo.

You can take pictures,
relax, drink at sunset.

I wish all the best for the rest
of your stay here.

ciao.
Ciao.

ciao, guys.

Enjoy!

We have no time for rest.

Now let's continue on
with the rest of this tour.

Oh, man.
It's a six-seater.

Well, bye, mike!

Mike's gotta squeeze
in the back.

What a day.

This tour gave meaning to the
place that I've been living in.

I feel inspired.

It was everything I thought
it was gonna be and more.

Yay.

Look at the bridges.

Beautiful, huh, vin?
Yeah, it is.

The view right now
is probably one of the most

Beautiful views I've ever seen
in my life.

We see
the ponte vecchio bridge.

We see all the churches
that we learned about that day

Because we're all the way
on top of the mountain.

That's gonna be us.
Bye.

- scusi,
can you take a picture?

Ooh.

Can you get all of us?

Cheers.
Take a picture of this.

Here, look me in the eye.

[Snooki laughing]

Here, let's get a picture.



Ah, well,
italy was interesting...

To say the least.

Jenni's been mad calm
this year.

Except for when it came
to her two nights.

I've never seen jenni yell
at her like that...

In my life.

I got very nervous.

Yo, snooks threw a f*ck'
wine bottle at my head.

You pissed me off,
d*ck.

We're all together.
We're all enjoying ourselves.

Even mike is trying to, like,
be a part of this family

So that's kind of nice of him.

Just watching the sunset,
having a drink.

We're leaving italy tomorrow
and this is what we needed.

Imagine if I hit you
with that wine bottle?

Oh, my god.

It would be in the back
of your head, be like... Boing.

I would've went
to the hospital, yeah.

Again!
Again. Second time.

Oh, my god.

I got a master plan.

The last night in italy.
Beautiful sunset.

The best view in florence.

It was really perfect timing
for me to apologize.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.
I apologize.

I'm sorry.

Apologize for anything
I've ever done to you.

I apologize if I caused
any drama,

You know,
these past couple weeks.

Family is most important to me.

Always, yeah.

I had no idea
that was coming.

Hi. What are you doing?

Oh!

Thank you.

Thank you, mike.
Yeah, thank you.

Appreciate it.
grazie.

Michael's apologies are always
bullshit to me.

It's the same sh*t,
different country.

[Overlapped chatter]

Let's go.

♪ Best friends,
you are my best friends ♪

♪ Seriously ♪

♪ It's like
the best night ever ♪

♪ This song ♪

I gotta piss.

Oh, my god, my legs.

Oh, I feel like forrest gump.

Honk, honk.

- salud, salud.
love you.

We made it,
you know?

Bye!
Yeah, buddy.

Oh, my god, I almost just sh*t
when I screamed.

We're gonna go hit 21,
one last night out.

We wanna have one last blast
right now

Before we get the hell
outta here.

When we get to club 21,
it's crickets.

There's like two people here.

But then again that's awesome
because all we want

Is our own dance floor
and just to party by ourselves.

[Club music]

♪ ♪

Can I buy you a shot?

The boy wants to
buy you a shot.

Oh, no, grazie.

Come on, bro.
Why you gotta bump into me, man?

Do you want me to f*ck you
in your face right now?

'Cause I will.
Right now.

Get the f*ck
out of here.

Kick in your
f*ck' head.

Why you starting
with little kids for?

What is wrong with you, bro?

Mike is on another planet
right now.

You know you're messing with
little kids right now, bro.

If you wanna be aggressive
with somebody,

Be aggressive with
someone your own size.

Why'd he do that, though?
That kid was harmless.

What time is it?
Time to go.

Mike's starting some drama
just because he wants attention.

Man, nothing has changed.
Let's get outta here.

Obviously I drank too much
tonight.

You been good.
You've been good.

You okay?
Fine!

Mm-kay.

♪ Keep running like it
ain't gonna stop ♪

♪ Pushing money out the box
like you're riding on the top ♪

♪ Do it down like that ♪

♪ Do it down like that ♪

Stop.
d*ck.

Don't look at me!

[Chuckling]
she fell.

So embarrassing.
Come on.

Deena!

Wait, it's really heavy.

It's really heavy.
Help.

Me and deena... We're like,
"dude, it's the last night.

"Let's just do something crazy."

So we decide to put all the
freakin' flowers in the house

On the kitchen table to make
like a little amazon jungle.

Hope there's no bugs in this.

Looks like a garden.

[Giggling]

[Snooki grunting]

This is awesome.
This is awesome.

Best prank
in jersey shore history.

We're going back to jersey!
Yay!

We're going back to jersey!

I'm the first one up.

I'm just gonna wake up
all the roommates.

And meatball!

It's time to go back to jersey.
This is the day.

You can get grenades also,
and you can get a spray tan.

You get your hair gel.

Let's go, mimosa party.

Snooki and deena: mimosa!

It's a secret garden.

There's a jungle
on my kitchen table right now.

There's no controlling
those two meatballs.

[Squeal]

This is the official...
Official...

Last breakfast in italy.

Mike volunteered to make
everybody breakfast

Because he wants everybody
to think

That he still wants to be a part
of this family.

He tries to manipulate people.

We understand what
you're trying to do.

Like, we're not stupid.

Snooks,
set the table real quick.

Oh, my god.

Yo, you should've left one of
those trees for a centerpiece.

Where's ron?
He's in the smush room.

Go get him.

[High-pitched] let's go!

He's cute: look at that a*s.
Look at that a*s!

Look at that a*s!

Yo, look at his junk.
Look at him.

Look at him!
He's gonna f*ck us up, bro.

[Chuckling]

I'm exhausted,
but you can't be mad

When you wake up
to that though.

Ronnie!

We seen a used condom.

Since when do you use those?

Thought you guys
were trying.

[Laughter]

Everybody's
in a fabulous mood.

Like, we're all just so super
excited to get home.

I love italy, it's beautiful.
But I'm ready for jersey.

I'm just happy we're all
going there in good spirits.

I'm happy that we had a good
last two days.

I was, like, contemplating
not going, but I'm going.

You know,
everything's all good.

I know that mike deep down
is a good person.

But mike's personality is just
a hard one to deal with.

What can I do except accept it

And see what happens
in the future?

Show it! Whoo!

Make it smile.

It's still there.
Jersey! Here I come.

You know what?

I always got something
up my sleeve.

And it's gonna be a situation.

I wanna do a cheers.
Here we go, jersey.

Here we go, jersey.

Let's go to jersey, b*tch!
[All yelling]

All: jersey!

I'm real excited to get back
to seaside.

I can't wait to go tanning.

I'm gonna go tanning,
then I'm gonna go tanning,

Then I'm gonna go to the gym,
then I'm gonna do laundry.

Gtl I miss the most.

♪ The sun shines ♪

Dj pauly d,
problems!

Sayonara, italy.

We're almost late
for that flight.

Oh!

Lotta sh*t went down
here in italy.

Mike and ronnie fighting.

Ow!
[Laughing]

Vinny and pauly not
bringing home girls.

I mean, this isn't real life.

So in jersey, I think

Everything's gonna go back
to normal.

Oh, that felt weird.

Look at that.
Oh!

Yeah, buddy!

My mother might be a little
disappointed that I'm not

Bringing back a real,
authentic italian wife home.

But that type of thing
takes searching for.

I'm still on the hunt.
We will meet someday.

[Both screaming]
ahh.

All: oh!

This house is kinda like
a foster home

With eight adopted children.

We fight, we argue,
but in the end,

Everything always gets fixed
and we love each other.

Ah!
[Pauly laughing]

Yeah! Deena fell down!

Italy was really,
really cool.

But mike is such a f*ck'
problem starter.

It's, like, something I feel,
like, needs to be done

Before it escalates
into something crazy.

Yo, ronnie said only
three more.

I have no problem being
the villain.

I will take on the whole house
at once.

I'm wild and I don't mind it,
you know?

Some of the others just don't
like drama.

Say hello to the bad guy.

[Speaking italian]
jersey, here we come!

Can't wait to go to seaside,
m*therf*cker!

Can't eat any more pasta.

Mike, shut the door.
Shut the door.

If our flight left without us,
I'm gonna k*ll myself.