06x00 - Gym, Tan, Look Back

[bunniefuu]

Girls: yay!

Whoo!
We're in seaside, b*tches!

Aah!

I never thought
looking back at season one,

We would be here now.

I just went for
the free alcohol and partying.

Whoo! Gimme a shot.

I didn't even know
what the jersey shore was,

I didn't even know
what a shore house was.

Here's to a good summer.
Here's to a good summer!

And then it turned into
this big, whole shebang.

Lightning in a bottle.
Or flies on [bleep].

That too.

[Overlapping shouts]
I hate him!

She's bleeding.

I don't think it could've
been any more real.

Who the [bleep]
hits a girl like that?

[Siren]
bring it on.

Yous are all [bleep] nuts!

A lot of arguing...
[Bleep] you.

A lot of controversy...

Thought you were
better than that.

A lot of [bleep] being thrown.

Mike, I'm not kidding!

Whoa!
Oh!

It's like a chemistry project.

[Shouting]
aah!

The right people
were put together,

And it just exploded.

Cabs are here!

I'm going to have
to cut my hair.

Fist pump like this, louie.

Nobody cared
about the cameras.

We just were comfortable
with each other to be ourselves.

[Chuckles]
looks like a good time.

Oh, my god,
I'm naked right now.

We've all had some
of the best moments in our life

And some
of the worst moments.

I hate you!

We all met as strangers,
and we became friends.

Our whole life
has changed together.

Vinny!

And now we're actually
a family.

Do it, do it!
Do it!

Yeah, buddy!
Yeah, buddy!

[Upbeat rock music]

Dj pauly delvecchio!

I'm going to the jersey shore,
b*tch!

All right,
we got a situation.

I'm the sweetest b*tch
you'll ever meet.

[Laughing]

After I have sex with a guy,
I will rip their heads off.

Go, vinny! Go, vinny!

You like the boobs?

Yeah, buddy.
See ya.

[Screaming]
[laughs]

We're a great, big family,

But it's just kind of
a weird family

'Cause we hook up with each
other, we fight each other...

[Screams]
god, I missed you!

I mean, the hookup part
is the weirdest part.

Mike being
with sam and ron,

So that means mike and ron
have been together.

[Giggles]

Mike being with snooki

Means that pauly and vinny
and mike have swapped spit.

Ew!
Spit's been crossed.

[Bleep], there's been
so many hookups

And hookups that people
don't even know happened.

♪ All my girls go boom ♪

♪ Clap, b-boom, snap, clap,
snap, boom, snap, clap, b-boom ♪

When you think about it,
in this house,

Mike hooked up with sam,
sam hooked up with ron,

I hooked up with jenni,
jenni hooked up with snooki,

Vinny hooked up with snooki,
snooki and deena hooked up,

And did I mention that vinny
hooked up with snooki?

[Laughs]

You don't know how bad
I want you.

You don't understand
how bad I want you.

I remember the first time
I hooked up with jenni,

And I showed her
my piercing.

You have
your p*nis pierced.

I love it.
No one knows.

I remember after watching
the first episode,

I had my family in there,
and then, like,

They see me, like, hooking up
with jwoww and stuff like that.

It's the first time my family
probably actually seen me,

Like, hooking up and stuff.
Awkward!

So I had to
get used to that.

It was a little awkward.
Ew.

I just saw your p*nis.

First person to hook up.

To hook up
with another roommate.

Oh, who is that?
I don't know.

Mike.
You two.

No... Mm...

Oh, she... She's didn't
even in... Wow.

It all started
when sam locked lips

And made out with mike.

No one ever
brings that up now.

I didn't know who sam
was gonna end up with.

She really could've ended up
with anyone in the house,

Kind of.
Right.

So she kissed mike,

And I didn't think
she was gonna go for ron

'Cause that kinda happened
outta nowhere.

Ronnie literally
took what mike had

And started
making out with her.

Yup.
That's not my style.

Like, I don't hook up with girls
right after you would.

Right.

You blew my mind tonight.
I had no idea.

I don't think a girl
had ever chosen

Somebody else over me
in the past,

And I might've been a little
too c*ck at that time.

Your girlfriend over here
hooked up with my boy.

And she was feeling me
the whole time.

I actually liked you too.

Ronnie's [bleep] hot.
I'm attracted.

I'm just glad that I didn't even
go down that whole mike path

Because there was
no attraction there,

There was no feeling,
it was nothing.

Once I kissed ron,

It was like I felt something
in my stomach and in my gut,

And that's how I knew
that I really fell for him.

You hooked up with him?
No.

Like, that was it... If that.
Yeah, gimme more.

It wasn't like,
sexual like that, it was like...

I want more.

You know sam,
she's straight to the point.

She's like, "so what's gonna
happen when we get outta here?"

I was like,
"what do you mean?"

I'm like, "we're gonna do
the same thing we're doing now."

She's like,
"what's that mean? Have sex?"

Hey, sexy man. Whoo!

I think me and vinny were
a close second to ron and sam.

Like, on and off
relationship.

[Funk music]

In miami, me and vinny
tried to hook up,

But it just didn't work
because I'm small, and he was...

Abnormally big and weird.

It's like putting, like,

A watermelon
into, like, a pinhole.

[Laughs]

And then in italy,

Obviously, me and vinny,
um, hooked up.

[Funk music]

♪ ♪

I love vinny as a friend,

And now that I'm pregnant
and engaged,

Me and vinny
will never hook up.

[Funk music]

What sticks out in my mind
was the last night of jersey...

I... Only because
you were the only one

That was like,
"I want to go out in a bang."

Oh, my god,
I'm naked right now.

And we went in the jacuzzi,
and whatever happened happened,

But it... It was... That stuck out
in my mind as... As...

As going out on top.
[Scoffs]

In one way or the other.

[Screeches]

What the hell?

The most unexpected hookup
in the house

Would have to be deena
and pauly.

Oh, that was [bleep] money!

The night that deena
hooked up with pauly

Was probably the best night
of her life.

Like, there was a party
in her mouth,

And pauly was special guest
dj pauly tongue.

In the words of pauly d,
"this is the best..."

Both: "day of my life!"

The pauly and deena kiss

Was the most gruesome,
disgusting kiss

I've ever seen in my life.

There's something, like,
she was doing with her tongue

And that he was doing,
like, it just...

It just wasn't cute,
you know?

Let's hook up and cuddle.
Yeah, I know.

Kissing deena at the club
was the worst day in my life

Because she's my friend,

And I don't think we should've
crossed that boundary.

It should've
never happened.

But you know what,
stuff happens.

I love you always.
I love you too.

You know,
pauly's a good friend,

And you know, I'm sure pauly
would've been good in bed,

But...

It's so much better that
that didn't happen.

Guido and guidette
problems!

What the hell?

Let's be honest here.
Does that turn you on?

No!
[Laughs]

Me and deena's hookup
was disgusting.

I was watching,
and I wanted to barf and vomit,

But at the time,
I mean, we were drunk,

And usually when you get drunk
with your best girlfriend,

You just make out
with each other.

[Whistles]
no!

Oh, my god.

I was so creeped out
at nicole and deena

Making out
and were choning

Just because I was like,
"they're so white girl wasted,

They're gonna regret this."

And the fact that deena
forgot her underwear

Made it so much more worse.

Oh, my god, creeps.
They're [bleep] creeps.

It looked like two, like,
soggy meatballs.

Disgusting-
there was sweat, saliva,

Lipstick, makeup, eyelashes,
it was gross.

You're such a pervert.
[Giggles]

It's one thing
to hook up with a dude

That you kinda know
in the shore house.

It's another thing to be
in love with a dude

And try and hook up with him
in the house.

'Cause then your roommates
hear you and make fun of you.

[Giggles]

I love watching people
have sex.

And, you know, vice versa.

Mm, you're amazing.

Oh!

Yo, what is that? Is that her
screaming having sex?

That's the sound of love.
Oh, la!

Me and angelina
need some privacy.

I'll tell you what, it's an
experience to like, I mean,

Having sex with people
watching you,

With mike giving you
an egg sandwich.

And you know what, I just
kind of, like, blocked it out.

Just go about my business.

You want half?

[Laughter]

We all say we're
brothers and sisters,

But at the end of the day,

We all hooked up
with each other.

Triple kiss.

So we're frickin' weird.

I mean, everyone.

Somehow, everyone's hooked up
in this house.

We're nymphos.

Did you know
I gave pauly a [bleep]?

Yeah.

Why didn't I know this?
No one ever told me.

Mike, I'm not kidding!

Get the [bleep]
outta here, you...

[Bleep] you!
Let 'em go, bro.

Stop! Stop!

There's one thing
you can count on

In the jersey shore house-
there's gonna be fights.

Oh!
Oh, what're you doing?

So the first summer,
I punched mike in the face.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, you need
to chill the [bleep] out.

Chill the [bleep] out.
Kicked me out of the club.

Get the [bleep] outta here.
Don't hit him.

The mike and jenni fight
was definitely hilarious.

I was right there,
holding back jenni.

Get the [bleep] outta here.
Punch me in the face?

Oh!
Oh!

She did some [bleep] mortal
kombat, like, triple-x squared

Back fist,
and it landed perfectly.

[Bleep].
Oh, yeah, that's what you are.

Really?
Yeah.

I don't regret
punching mike at all.

That was fun.

Shut the [bleep] up!

No, it doesn't matter.
You keep talking [bleep].

The most entertaining fight
in history

Would probably be
me and angelina's fight

Just because
we're [bleep] idiots.

I don't know how to fight.

Okay, hold my earrings,
please.

Oh, yeah, this is what's up.
This is what's up.

Snooki, don't...

The most memorable fight
for me

Definitely had to be
the snooki-angelina fight

Because it was
almost like a guidette,

Vertically-challenged,
like, wrestling.

Like, it was phenomenal.

[Bleep]!
Jennifer, stop!

Get off her.

It was just hilarious.

There was really no, like-
nothing that we were scared of.

You know what I'm saying?
It was entertaining.

Just watching those two little
gremlins go at it on the floor.

It was kinda cute.

Bring it on, [bleep]!
Let 'em go, bro.

Oh!

Is this gonna go to decision,
or is there gonna be a knockout?

It was
the funniest thing ever.

I was like, almost pissing
myself, it was that funny.

But there was a lot of fights
that were not funny.

Whoever wrote me the note,
thank you.

I appreciate it
'cause I looked like

A [bleep] idiot.
So someone man up

And say who wrote
the [bleep] note.

Hold on a second.

Somebody here did it.
Just say it now.

Who did it?
In the heat of the moment,

Fighting with sam, I was
literally just thinking, like,

"Why is this happening?"

I'm the one that
wrote the note,

But I did it to help her.

But in the same context,
like,

Sam still to this day
believes that, like,

We didn't do right by her,

Which I feel like I did.

In your [bleep] face right now.

I can get
in your [bleep] face too.

Aah, stop, stop, stop!

I look back, and I'm like,

Why did it have to get
to that level?

Because I just don't
agree with fighting,

And I think it's just
un-classy,

And I just don't like it.

So it bothers me

That I fought with jenni.

I wish it never
got to that level.

[Indistinct shouting]

Ron [bleep] up

The sam and jenni fight
because, you know,

Ron obviously sticking up
for sam,

And jenni would have
k*lled sam, I feel.

Come on, come on.
Stop, sam.

In miami,
it was really rough

Just because me and sam
weren't getting along,

And it didn't even
end in miami.

It continued into jersey.

I had bruises!
From me!

From me!
From you... Step out of it.

Try to put your hands on me.
Hit me, hit me.

Oh!

[Indistinct chatter]
yo, stop!

The sam and jenni fight
in jersey

Was definitely crazy
because it was the first night.

They walked right in
and started fist-fighting.

It was, like,
out of nowhere.

This is gonna be
an interesting

[Bleep] summer.

Jenni has always
been the big, bad wolf,

But sam... Sam never had
any scratches on her

From these fights.

Where is ron?

Talking to, uh, jenni.

Jenni?
Yeah.

Ron is?
Yeah.

Ron-and-sam fights
are things that

I'm still gonna have
nightmares about

For the rest of my life.

Are you friends
with her or not?

Stop, stop.
Look at me.

Stop!
[Bleep] talk to me.

Get the [bleep] out of here

If you're [bleep]
playing me like that.

I don't wanna
talk to you.

This is
my last time trying.

Are you friends
with her?

Their relationship
was so sensitive

And volatile
that, like, we...

Volatile?
We couldn't be ourselves.

What does that mean?

Why do you use
such big words?

I'm... You know, I'm good-
I'm good on the camera.

Volatile.
I'm good on the camera.

Oh, [bleep] to your [bleep].

Take all your [bleep]
and get out this [bleep] room.

Stop!
Don't touch my [bleep] ever!

Take all your [bleep]
and get out

This [bleep] room.
[Bleep] you!

You [bleep]!

You're not welcome
in this room.

Nobody likes you
in this [bleep] room.

Me and ron had
some bad fights in this house,

Like, scary,
disgusting fights.

Don't touch my [bleep]!

Don't ever [bleep]
touch my [bleep]!

I hate you
more than [bleep] anybody

I've ever hated
in my entire life.

He threw her bed
onto the balcony,

And things got
really rough that day.

You know, we were
actually worried

For sammi and ron's
well-being.

There were, like,
spitting on each other.

They were physically
fighting each other,

And they were throwing things
around the room

That could've actually
hurt them.

So we had to step in
and break up ronnie and sam.

I've had enough!
I hope you don't come home.

Summer after summer
after summer.

They're still together.

Crazy. [Chuckles]

I like us like this.
Me too.

The most entertaining
fight to see go down

Was probably snooki
and mike's fight in italy.

That was a good one
in italy.

Yeah, when snooks
was throwing

The wine bottles and [bleep]

'Cause I never saw her
really get

Really, really, really
pissed off at someone.

[Bleep] you, mike!
I didn't!

Mike, I'm not kidding!
[Glass shattering]

Wow!
Whoa!

[Bleep] you!
Mike was actually

Intentionally trying
to break me and jionni up,

And mike was just
being malicious.

[Bleep] you, mike.
[Bleep] you.

You're a [bleep].

I'm getting, like, spatulas
thrown at my head, bottles.

I mean, like, that [bleep]
is danger...

I ain't got a stunt double.

I mean,
you know what I'm saying?

Will you listen to me
before I speak?

I don't like you.
I don't [bleep] like you.

I don't [bleep] like you!

Even when we were fighting,
you know,

In some of the summers,
there still was

That look in the eye that,
"I care about you."

[Bleep] you!

The fight that probably
made everybody nervous

Was the me-and-ron fight.

You wanna hit me?
You wanna hit me, tough guy?

[Bleep] you wanna [bleep] do it?
Let's do it!

Stop!
Let's do it!

Stop!

Stop!
[Indistinct shouting]

I was scared.

That's when I was like,
"I can't do this."

It's gr-
like, I can't.

It gives me such anxiety,
seeing stuff like that.

I don't like it.

I been waiting, bro.

[Groans]
[bleep] stop!

Every other fight was just,
like, a little scrap.

Some things got messed up,

But a roommate actually
ended up in the hospital.

[Bleep], yo.
Look at me.

You okay?
[Bleep].

You all right?
Look at me.

I'm not even playing.

When mike ran his head
into the wall,

He knocked himself
on the ground,

And he was [bleep] up.

I remember I heard somebody
saying, um, to mike...

They were like, "stay with
me bro, stay with me."

And I'm like, "holy [bleep],
what's happening right now?"

You know what I mean?
Like, is this kid dying?

Like, it was pretty-
it was pretty hardcore.

[Sniffling]
I don't want

That [bleep] kid to die.

I don't want him to die.

Maybe all those fights
that we've been through...

Sorry for, you know, a lot.

Kind of brought us
to where we are today.

We'll get through this, dude.
All right.

And we kinda learned
from them.

I owe you an apology,
and I am sorry.

I'm sorry too.
Aah!

That's it.
It's good.

Love you.

I'm sorry for a lot of stuff
in this house.

I'm sorry.
You're my best friend.

I love you.

[Rock music]

My only rule,
never fall in love

At the jersey shore.

Well, that's just
what we did.

Ronnie and sammi,
jenni and roger,

Nicole and jionni,

And then there's
almost me and paula.

Mwah.

[Techno music]

I am like
a praying mantis.

After I have sex
with a guy,

I will rip
their heads off.

Going back to
the first summer at the shore,

Jenni was talking
a big game.

The fact of the matter is,
she came in

In a relationship.
Your boy called.

And the truth comes out.

Jenni came to this house
with a boyfriend, tom,

That she never told
anyone about.

She had a boyfriend,
but not really.

And then she hooked up
with pauly.

So basically
cheated on her boyfriend.

Do you know how many times
I checked your facebook

To make you were
still single?

The moment I saw roger

I just automatically
knew, like,

If I have these thoughts
going in my head,

I should not be with tom.

Dad, this is roger.
How are you?

It's very nice to meet you.

Meeting roger,

The person I plan to be with
for the rest of my life,

Is another reason why

The jersey shore
changed my life forever,

In a good way.

I haven't seen jenni
this happy in forever.

She has a smile on her face.
It's crazy.

I definitely
see me and him

Having a forever future.

Are we going to be, like...

A thing?
Exclusive?

Sure.

Boyfriend, girlfriend,
the whole nine?

You can stay
at the house tonight.

I'm down.

So the first summer
at the shore,

I definitely had
my share of hookups.

[Gagging, vomiting]
oh, my god.

I hooked up with a kid
that threw up on the roof,

And then I hooked up
with cowboy keith for a while,

And then I hooked up
with nick, the juicehead.

I just wanted to be crazy
and slutty.

Who gives a [bleep]?
You only live once.

Grenade.

Complete grenade.

Meeting jionni
for the first time,

I honestly don't remember
that night.

He doesn't either,
which is so funny.

So we were both blacked out.

I'm not surprised

That nicole
fell hard for jionni.

I mean, they are a match made
in meatball heaven.

You don't even
remember my name!

Yes, I do.
What's... What is it?

No, why don't you tell me?
[Laughs]

Snooki has been crazy
over jionni

Since she was calling him
"bernard."

Do you remember my name?

Bernard?

Looking back and seeing
how me and jionni met

And how we treated
each other,

And how I called him bernard,
it's crazy.

And I can't wait to show lorenzo
when he's old enough.

[Burps]

I will give you a towel.

Do you need shorts, a shirt?
No.

What do you need?

I just need to be up
by 7:00 tomorrow morning.

Just jump underneath
the covers.

[Pounding, rattling]

Your girl is here.

You missed
your first day of work.

No, I know.
I woke up like [bleep].

Well, can we go get
your [bleep]?

Let's go. I told your mom
I wasn't leaving without you.

The craziest thing
with mike and paula

Is mike's
had a lot of girls

In that house,
and paula's aware of it.

And yet,
she's still around.

She's still there
in the beginning of the night.

She's still there
at the end of the night.

She is still who mike calls

When he doesn't have a girl.

I always pick you
over everybody.

You do.
It makes me feel special.

I think paula's
perfect for mike

Because she can handle mike.

I hope you can keep up
with me.

I-i don't think you
can keep up with me.

Oh, don't you threaten me
with a challenge.

Mike's a lot to handle,

And paula seems like she's
a little bit of a lot to handle.

And she seems like she's always
all over the place,

And he gets bored easy,

So I'm like, "oh.

This weird chemical thing
could work."

Bye, sweetie.

The smaller the shorts,
the better.

I'm not looking
for mr. Right.

I am looking to break
a lot of hearts

And to get with a lot
of good, hot, sexy guidos.

Who would've thought
that I would've found love

At the jersey shore?

Come here.

Both:
ron and sam's relationship

Sucked [bleep].

When they first met,
they were, like,

All gushy gushy,
and, you know,

Fighting a little bit,
broke up.

Go to miami,
broken up a little bit.

Ron cheats on sam,
blah blah blah.

I get into it.
I lose two friends, whatever.

Come to seaside,
explodes.

I hate you more than [bleep]
anybody I've ever hated

In my entire life.

It's just a roller coaster
with ron and sam.

But then again, like,

It's our entertainment
at the same time.

I love sammi to death,
but I know that

We're both [bleep] up
in the head.

Like... It's like rehab.

The first step's
admitting it, right?

I guess this means
ron and sam are back together.

Round of applause
for ron and sam. Whoo.

[Cheers and applause]

Thank god!

Number one rule
at the jersey shore

Is don't fall in love
at the jersey shore.

Rules are made to be broken.

'Cause we love each other.

We've been through everything,
we can get through everything.

Even though it was
very difficult at times,

I'm blessed because the show
made me find somebody

Who I really care about,

And, I don't know,

Made me find,
like, my best friend

And lover
all in one person.

Look how romantical that is.
[Burps]

Ronnie and sam,
they don't got nothing

On pauly and vinny's
bromance.

Both: fist pump,
push-up, chapstick!

Fist pump,
push-up, chapstick!

Vinny will never
break my heart.

Our relationship's perfect.

They're at a stage
in their bromance

That they're past
first date,

So, you know,
they could smush any day now.

Oh, there's my boyfriend.
Lights!

The hell?
[Laughs]

[Laughter]

Can I watch?

Me and pauly
have been together for,

Like, four years now.

What do you wanna to do?
Go get a pedicure.

Really?
Yeah.

We are
the most stable couple

In the shore house,
surprisingly.

Can you put vinny's name
on my fingernails?

Sure. You want a heart too?
[Laughs]

That really shows
how committed you are to me now.

Vinny and pauly
definitely have a special bond.

Their... Like,
their bromance is so cute.

And when pauly's not with vinny
or vinny's not with pauly,

They're like
lost little puppies.

Will you write?
Can we sext?

[Laughter]

With each day
that I see pauly,

I fall more and more
in love with him.

It's amazing.

Love you.
Love you too, man.

Clear your head.
I will.

Call me.
I will.

The shore house
has come a long way

In the past number
of summers,

And, uh,
where the first summer,

You do not fall in love
at the shore,

To now,
almost our sixth shore house,

And now, most of us
are in love at the shore.

Love you!

You didn't grab my boob.

Here we go.

[Cheering and yelling]
holy [bleep].

Family is, like,
the most important thing.

Both: mwah.
I love you.

Deena!
Hi!

We're all in the house,
and then, like,

Different families
come in the house.

It's kind of, like, you
take them in as your own family.

Everyone's parent
is like your parent.

Nice to meet you.
I'm mom. I'm vinny's mom.

Hi.
Hi.

Vinny's family became
really close with us.

Like, so close, in fact,
that it became

Like a ninth cast member.

Give me the other one.
Oh, it's still hot.

Yeah, good.
I hope it's enough.

It's enough, believe me.
[Scoffs]

We love his family.
His mother's amazing.

This looks awesome.
Who you guys waiting for?

I don't know,
who are we waiting for?

It's gonna get cold!

Oh, my god,
is that my uncle nino?

Holy [bleep].
Hey, vinny!

Uncle nino came
and became, like,

The [bleep] household uncle
of the shore,

And he's [bleep] crazy.

[Garbled] the guy, he says,
"you sure where you goin'?"

I say, "oh, get in the cab
and back around the corner."

You don't know
if it's italian,

You don't know if it's english,
you don't know

What the hell
this man's speaking,

You kind of just nod "yes"
to what he says.

Hallelujah!

Ooh! Oh, my!
[Laughs]

[Laughs]
[speaks indistinctly]

I love uncle nino.

He's like me 40 years from now,
just dirtier.

Mwah. Yeah.
Thanks for coming.

Thank you for coming.
Be careful.

Make sure you do
what you got to do

With these young ladies.

Do as many as you can.

Do a couple of extra ones
for your uncle nino.

Uh, did you know that frank
hung out with deena's sister?

Yeah, dude.
Deena's sister

Had slept with my brother
at his crib.

Deena,
did you ever find out

How my brother and your sister's
second date went?

They went on a second?

I'm gonna
call my sister now.

I think the second date
probably went well.

I know the first one
went well.

No comment.

I feel like someone
just told me a horror story,

And now I'm having
an anxiety attack.

Whatever, let's just
let it go because...

Yeah, let it go
because they're good together.

Yeah.

If mike's brother
and deena's sister got married,

That would be so weird.

I wish they did.
I wish they stayed together.

I feel like it's incest
kind of.

Incest is the best.
Yeah.

Maid of honor,
best maid.

Well, I'd be a good
brother-in-law, I promise you.

Sicily.
My favorite family thing

Was the trip to sicily.

You're around vinny's family,

You're gonna find good times,

Laughing and smiling
and memories.

Hello. Ciao.

Mariuccia?
Yes.

Ciao.
sono vinny.

My mother was born in sicily,
and, you know,

My whole family's from italy.
I have family all over italy.

- prima generazione.
Si.

- seconda generazione.
mm-hmm.

terza generazione.
over there.

- e quarta.
E quarta.

- everybody.

Every generation
is together right now.

I do grow up with that
authentic italian culture,

But I had never actually
been to italy.

My whole life,
I dreamed about coming here

And having this meal.

It's amazing, and thank you,
and I love all of you.

Being in sicily for me
was not only

The best experience
of jersey shore,

But probably
the best experience of my life.

[All cheering]

- salute.
Grazie mille.

Samantha!

Get your narrow a*s down here,
we gotta go to work!

Toodles.

The guidos are here.
The guidos are here!

Ciao.
Get your pizza!

What up, girl?
How are you?

We definitely worked.
You know,

We didn't just
come to the house and party.

We worked
at the t-shirt shop,

We served gelato,
we made pizza,

And I loved every job.

What can I get you?

I'm going to get "don't fall
in love at the jersey shore."

That's a good line,
right?

Sometimes you never know
what you're gonna be good at

Until you try it.

Pressing t-shirts
I'm good at.

Like, I'm probably the
master presser on that press.

Um, what it all comes down to
is... Is ironing it out.

You want that shirt
to be straight on the press,

And you line it up,
no wrinkles.

Press it down, few seconds,
press it right back up.

You might think it's simple,
but there's a technique to it.

Yeah, I was dope
at pressing them t-shirts.

Is mike even here?

I have no idea.

I really don't think
that I've learned too much

Over the past number of summers,
slacking at all my jobs.

I'm doing absolutely
nothing at work today.

Yeah, nothing to do today.
Absolutely nothing.

You never do.
I never do.

But I probably worked hard
at hardly working.

You are [bleep] me, man.

I thought I was getting
a strong day out of you today.

You're making-
it started off a strong day.

I got locked... I got locked in.
I got a s...

I got a strong half hour
out of you.

I got locked in.

Working at the shore store,
even though I hate it,

A lot of good memories,
a lot of bad ones,

But at the end of the day,
I think the pluses

Out-minus the minuses,
I think.

Welcome to lecca lecca,

Where vinny
scoops your gelato right.

The best part about working
at the gelato shop

Was picking up girls,

And hey, [bleep] love ice cream.

I'm a good spooner.
What do you need?

He spoons, I fork.
Oh.

[Laughter]

Working at the gelato shop
was one of my favorite jobs

Just because girls would always
come in off the street,

And you're in miami,
so they were hot girls.

All these calories?

I'm going to have to go
to the gym.

We could do cardio
at my place.

Yeah.

All right, pauly
will work it off later.

It's all right.
Oh, my god.

And then you give them
ice cream,

And then they
automatically love you

'Cause you give girls
ice cream,

They love you. That's
how it works. It's science.

Call me later.
Oh, thank you.

Oh!

Look at that.
Bye-bye.

Thank you,
bye-bye.

Do we have
a butter face flavor, or what?

Um...
She had "summer teeth."

Some are like this,
and some are like that.

Mm-hmm.

O' vesuvio's was amazing.
[Laughs]

Who gets to go to italy
and work in a real italian,

Like, pizza place?

[Bleep] so gross.

[Gags]

Oh, the worst worker
was snooki.

Well, this job sucks.

I don't think
nicole likes to work.

She sucked at the t-shirt shop,
and she sucks at the pizza shop.

[Gasps]
I have a great idea.

Working at the pizzeria,
I mean, it's such a blur to me

Because
I was always drunk.

Ow, my knee.
[Chuckles]

Hiding at work
is totally normal for nicole.

Nicole really never works
when she goes to work.

I don't know
how I'm gonna get out.

[Screams]

Ow!
You [bleep].

When you're stuck
in a garbage can at work,

Meatball problems!

Deena, nicole.
Oh. Oh, [bleep].

Sorry.

I need your help
downstairs.

Buzzkill.
Big-time.

Yeah.
[Laughs]

I officially hate
morning shifts.

Out of all the jobs
that we've had,

I definitely
didn't learn [bleep].

[Grunts]
what?

It was this side,
not that side.

Ugh.

Yeah, I learned
to press a t-shirt

And scoop ice cream
and make a pizza.

[Laughter]
oh, I broke it.

But really, that didn't
teach me any life lessons.

You want
to funnel a beer?

It's [bleep] 10:30.

You were just sick
a second ago.

Do you want to do
anything fun?

Uh, yeah, let's make a sale.
I'd love that.

It totally
psyches me up.

Oh, I need
to pick up pickles.

Favorite job would definitely
be the t-shirt shop,

Even though
it sucks in there.

To smushing tonight.
To smushing!

Yay!

We're on the boardwalk,

So you can always run away
and go to ej's.

Is this more?

[Gasps]
yeah, it is.

Nicole!

Where's the beach?

I don't remember
what happened that day.

I was so drunk
that I honestly blacked out.

I don't want
to be the b*tch,

But you have to go.

We're filming in seaside,

So there's cameras,
there's producers.

So there's about 500 people
surrounding us,

And I was just like,
"oh, my god,

These cops are really
gonna arrest her."

And then it didn't help
she's cursing at them.

And I'm like, "oh, my god.
Please just be quiet."

Ew, get the [bleep] off my arm.

You're talking
to a police officer like that.

Get the [bleep] off!

When I drink all day,
I just go crazy.

I keep drinking.
I just want to have...

[Handcuffs clicking]

Fun.

Wait, where is she going?

She's drunk
and disorderly.

She's causing a scene.

I'm a [bleep] good person.

Both: "I'm a good person."

"Get off of me."
And what's a nuisance?

What the hell is a nuisance
on the beach?

She is a nuisance.

Watch your head.
Watch your head.

Going in the drunk tank
at the shore,

I think,
is an accomplishment.

Like, you definitely
lived your life.

You boys are no fun.
[Siren wailing]

Time to make
it happen today, bro.

Gtl.

We just completed a trifecta-
gym, tan, and laundry.

It's crazy
that our chores

Turned into
a national phenomenon.

We made it
an everyday thing,

And we're probably
gonna go down in history.

Doing gtl right now.

First season,
vinny was hating on it.

You're welcome
to come with us.

Gym, tan, and laundry?
Nah.

I was outnumbered.
Still, if it was up to me,

I wouldn't gtl.
I'd play basketball every day,

You know, I'd play pool,
I'd go to the beach,

But the guido powers
are too strong.

Gym, tan, and laundry.
Gym, tan, and laundry.

I'm pretty much
the father of gtl.

I kind of created it.

I live my life gtl-
gym, tan, and laundry.

I even got a license plate
that says that.

I'm just, like,
straight official.

Really think
mike came up with gtl?

He didn't come up
with [bleep] gtl.

I specifically remember,
right by the duck phone,

We were talking about gtl.

We were talking
about in different...

Like, how it would go.

Like, tlg,
blah, blah, blah.

And mike walked
down the stairs or something,

And then all of a sudden,
it became gtl.

[Bleep] have a part
of that [bleep].

Oh, there's another one.
"Fresh to death."

I got the fresh to death
kicks on.

Ftd, right?
Fresh to death.

So are you dtf?

Dtf?
Yeah.

Gtl plus ftd
equals dtf.

Her and her girl
are dtf for sure.

Oh, word.

Gtl minus ftd...

What was it?
What was... I forgot what I said.

I was trying
to dap you up.

There you go.

Real nice, huh?
Real nice.

If you're gtl minus...

Put the couch
on deena's bed, bro.

I'm gonna do it.

[Laughs]
what's up?

We have a lot of time
on our hands when we're filming,

And there have been
some crazy pranks.

That is the best day
of my life on top of a bed.

We have no television,
no cell phones, no computers.

Might as well
do prank wars.

[All screaming]

Who is that?

Oh, my sneakers.

Anything goes on
at the shore...

Drinking, partying,
arguments, drama, and pranks.

Yo, guess what.

I'm gonna
tell you a secret.

Deena is the worst pranker
in the house.

[Laughter]

Yes!

The girls are
the worst pranksters ever.

No originality,
no structure.

Oh, that ain't right, bro.

[Chuckles]

Look what I got.

I don't know why everybody
pranks each other in the house.

I hate pranks.
I want nothing to do with it.

Where's crocodilly?

Don't steal crocodilly.
Don't touch my bed.

It's just so childish,
and I'm scared,

And I don't like it.

[Screams]
my croc!

The only reason why
I think the boys

Can one-up the girls
when it comes to pranks

Is because they're ruthless.

Ew.

Mike pulled off
the grossest prank.

I think he put, like,
a tampon in angelina's bed.

It was gross.

Here you go,
you dirty trash bag.

Here, right under your bed.
There you go.

I am pretty much
the king of pranks.

Ah, I found somebody.

And the best prank
in the house

Had to be the dog
[bleep] all over the house.

Guess what I got for you.

Little peanut butter.

Always gotta have a little fluff
with peanut butter.

I was so pissed
to find out how much crap

Mike fed bella and noel.

Yeah, piss right
on the rug!

Oh, hell, yeah.
Yeah.

Oh, right in pauly's room.

Peanut butter, fluff-
thanks, mike.

Thank you.
Sick.

Something
smells like poop.

No, no!
Yeah, buddy!

Oh, yeah!

[All cheering]

All: yeah, buddy!

Mike, we need the phone,
like, for two seconds.

I would have to say
one of the best pranks ever

Was when I sent snooki
and deena to new york city.

I'll call a cab for you.

Thank you, mike.
Thank you, mike.

Taxi.
Uh, yeah, hi.

I have two people.
I'm sending them

To, uh, times square.
New york city.

Times square?
Yeah.

Okay.

New york city is actually
two hours out of the way

Than where they were
really supposed to be going,

Which was 20 minutes
down to jenks.

We're by staten island!

Dude, do you not get it?
Is that new york city?

Where are we going?

Like, mike's prank was dope.

I like pranks like that,
that [bleep] you up.

Both: mike booked this!
Mike booked this.

Dude, I will never talk
to that [bleep] kid ever again.

I think team sober's
cheese prank to mike

Was the perfect prank ever.

[Giggling]

Looks like a pizza.

[Laughing]

I definitely wanted the prank
to smell like [bleep].

But I didn't want to use
all the grated cheese

Because I love to put it
in my soup.

Sometimes I just eat
grated cheese out of the thing

Because it's so good.

That's for sending me
to new york, mother[bleep].

[Laughter]

He started thinking
girls smell like cheese.

Yeah, he never washed
his sheets for two weeks.

And he just slept on it
every night.

Like...

Eww.

Ugh, I had that chick over
the other night.

Ugh!

He thought
that it was from a girl,

And she had a yeast infection.

I mean, you can't
make that [bleep] up.

Smelt like [bleep]
grated cheese.

Ugh!

Gonna remove the couches.

Remove the couches, right?

Remove the beanbag,
remove the chairs.

Empty this bad boy out.

With all the pranks,

I really feel like
pauly and vinny

Maybe pulled off
the best prank.

People might think that
the producers helped us

On the inside-out prank.

There was zero help.

The only help that we had

Was danny and some guys
from the shore store

Bringing in the turf
that we needed.

That's how elaborate
this prank is.

Everything else me and pauly
picked up ourselves

And carried outside.

Bam! We changed
the whole house inside out.

We put the inside outside,
the outside inside.

The inside outside,
the outside inside.

So now our inside deck
is now our outside deck

Our outside deck
is now our inside deck.

Basically, we pranked
the whole damn house.

[Snickering]

Oh, hey, guys.

Hey, guys.
How was camping?

How fun!

I thought the boys were
throwing us, like, a luau,

Until I realized, wait, that's
the furniture from outside.

Oh, my god!
What the...

Operation inside out
was the most thought-out,

Well-planned prank
this house has ever seen.

Victory.

All right, let's go.
That ravioli over there.

We need another dish for
the meatballs and the sauce.

Sunday dinners are, like,
one of my favorite things

That we would do.

No matter what we were going
through in that household...

Whether we were fighting,
at each other's throats,

Not fighting, whatever...

We all sat down at that dinner
every single sunday.

- salute.
- cheers.

Gonna be good,
look at that.

Are you supposed
to marinate filet?

What's filet?

Filet mig-non.

Ooh!

Ah, what the [bleep]?

Ooh!
Oh, my god!

She's like, "oh, my god!
I got stuff on my slippers!"

I'm like, "look, my dinner's
on the floor."

Ooh! Whoo!

The counter's on fire!

Ooh, [bleep].

[Yelling and screaming]

Fire! Fire!
[Alarm screeching]

Did you guys not hear that?
Get out of the pool!

We got problems with fire.
Yeah, we're not good.

Excuse... Hello!

Whoa!

Oh, my god!
Oh, my god!

[All laughing]

[Gasping]

We could possibly
blow up right now.

The first time
we went to the house,

I almost burnt it down.

Pauly, take care of it
before we blow the [bleep] up.

There you go!

We got a lotta issues
with fire.

I mean, when it comes
to gas grills,

Stay away from us.

I think we might be able
to still cook on that.

Oh, for real?
For real.

Who do you have to [bleep]
around here

To get a hot dog?
Not you, I hope.

I remember in italy,
we even had a fire

With that gas grill.

But there's something
with italy in it.

And it's a different gas
out there or something.

Yo, I hope you guys like
your food cooked!

'Cause it's [bleep] burnt!
[Laughter]

Time to eat!

Everybody
to the dinner table!

The situation sits
at the head of the house.

Sunday dinner's almost,
like, to air it out.

Like, confessions.
Yeah, I guess.

I'd like to give
a trophy to the person

Who... Who did the least
in this house.

Who gives a [bleep]?

I-i wasn't gonna say you.

I don't care.
You can say me.

All right, well,
you're in the running.

So how was everybody's day?

How you doing in school,
nicole?

[Laughing] shut up.

This is gonna be the last summer
that we're all together,

And, honestly, it's so sad.

Really, there's nothing else
to say besides it's sad.

It's kind of like a breakup.

Awful breakup.

Yeah.

Kind of, you know,
involves a lotta ice cream.

Make a toast
to my new family.

Knockout ronny, pauly spike,
mike sanitation.

[All laughing]

Sammi, my snooki,
and my j.lo.

[All laughing]

Good luck!

[All toasting]

It hits you really hard,
the last sunday dinner.

Everywhere you go-
jersey, miami, italy...

It's, like, wow,
last sunday dinner.

This is the third time
living in this house.

Five friggin' times
with you people.

Who knows what will happen
in the future with us?

But this is the last time
we'll have the house together.

We're leaving the house,

But we're not leaving
each other.

Maybe we should get
a shore house next summer.

[All cheering]

Oh, yeah, last year, yeah!

Miami.

All: miami!

This is
my favorite summer ever.

Probably the happiest
I've ever been.

And, like, I can honestly
say that I love you all.

This is like the go hard,
go home last summer.

When we get to jersey, we're
really gonna appreciate it.

The situation's back,
baby. [Chuckles]

Seaside, here we go.

So I'm going on the record
and just saying

That I think I'm about to have

One of the best summers
of my life.

I'm six months pregnant,

And I'm going
to the shore house.