06x11 - Awkward!

[bunniefuu]

You know, we didn't always hate each other.

You know what I'm saying?

I know, but we're not friends.

So you're gonna hate me the rest of your life?

I just don't wanna be friends with you.

Babe, I'm going to a game.

Thanks for the support.

No, I'm actually gonna say something to jionni today.

I'm gonna be like, "you need to be here more often."

Wait, you didn't talk to jionni yet?

No. I think you should.

[Laughing]

This is the only baby shower where two of the guys

Have to apologize to the baby daddy

For banging the fiancee. [Laughs] yeah!

Yo, can I talk to you outside real quick?

Yeah.

Dj pauly delvecchio!

I'm going to jersey shore, b*tch!

All right, we got a situation.

I'm the sweetest b*tch you'll ever meet.

[Laughing]

After I have sex with a guy I will rip their heads off.

Go vinny! Go vinny!

You like the boobs?

♪ If you wanna have fun and do something crazy ♪

Yo, can I talk to you outside real quick?

Yeah.

[High-pitched voice] awkward!

So right now,

It's the middle of the baby shower.

So I decide that it's time to be the bigger man

And talk to jionni because I think that we should just like

Clear the air.

Yo, I know like the past is all f*cked up between us

And sh*t, but I really just wanna say congratulations

And wish you guys the best of luck.

I know. I know we've had a...

We've had a little problem in the past.

Whatever, okay?

I'm over it. I gave her a second chance.

It made us better.

I give you a lot of respect for that, seriously.

After my girl got with another guy

Like the same night we broke up,

I could never get with my girl again.

But, you know, jionni is a different man than I am.

Um, where I started having a problem,

Nicole recently said you were messing around about,

You know, you being the dad and this and that.

Yeah.

So I'm like, "it's not that funny."

It wasn't anything like really f*cking with you.

'Cause I don't know you, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah. To me...

You could've been like just any other guy

That she's ever been with, you know what I mean?

So I'm f*ck' around with this guy,

f*ck' around with this guy.

But now that things are serious,

I'm, you know, talking to you like...

Oh, I appreciate you coming up to me.

I % understand where jionni's coming from.

Um, when he doesn't like the fact that I'm making

"I'm the father" jokes about his baby...

I mean, I would be pissed too.

Nicole cares. She's your friend.

Yeah, yeah. She cares about you.

I don't want sh*t between us.

Well, I mean, it won't happen again.

I appreciate it.

It was them joking around with me and sh*t.

Well, I appreciate- you know, I really do.

Appreciate you saying that, all right, buddy?

Congrats. Thank you.

I do. All right, let's go eat.

I feel better now.

[Italian music playing]

It was fine, it was good.

It was... It was what I wanted.

So we can invite him. What?

So we can invite him to the wedding.

Yeah. I'm happy.

I respect what he did.

I'm definitely happy now that jionni is cool with vinny.

Now it's cool for me and vinny to just be normal.

Are we doing the drinking game now?

Yeah!

There is a little tension,

But it is what it is.

Suck it up. This is a baby brunch.

You have to like suck it like a nipple.

So we're gonna do a baby bottle-chugging contest

And lighten the mood.

On your mark, get set, suck!

It's definitely hard to suck a bottle, okay,

But I kinda like it.

Suck it like a boobie.

[Coughing]

Oh, no.

[Laughter]

Get the f*ck out of here.

You bit the top off of that.

Ron wins. But I think he cheated.

You gotta bite on the tip. It comes out quicker.

Oh, that's dope.

For when you finally can drink again.

Crystal?

Cristal, girl. Cristal.

So I'm opening my gifts.

I got three bottle of wine

And this cristal sh*t that I have no idea what it is,

But it sounds good.

It's just so cute like how like cute these clothes are.

When can you sleep over again?

I need you.

Anytime you want.

I wanna see you like every day though.

Yeah.

Jionni? What?

I am giving you permission to come around more often.

Where? To take care of your girl.

Who, you?

She's giving you permission to come around more often.

So I'm assuming that's a slam

That you don't come around enough.

She's giving me permission? Not permission.

I'm just telling you to come around more often.

It was a nice way of kicking you in the nuts

Is what it was.

I tell jionni to come around more often,

Because I feel like he's not taking care of my girl,

And he needs to acknowledge the fact that we're noticing

He's not around.

I think you should do more dates with nicole.

Is that a better way to say it?

Yeah. Okay.

Take care of my girl.

How are you dealing with the wrath of jenni?

Shut up, vinny. Wow.

This is when you know I love you.

I'm giving you full permission to shut up.

We're bringing these cannolis home with us, right?

My bellybutton? It's gonna be an innie.

This is honestly one of the happiest days I've had

So far this summer,

Just because we're talking about my baby.

We're celebrating it,

And it's something that I wanna do,

Which I haven't done yet.

You guys ready?

Snooks, you rea- snooks, you have fun?

It's really hard for me to look at mike

Or even to respond to him.

Watch and put this back on the shelf.

I have so much going on with giving birth

In like two months,

And you know, getting engaged.

Love you a lot. Love you too, baby.

Glad you had fun.

Me and mike, it's like the last thing I wanna think about.

See you tuesday. Be careful.

Best baby shower I've ever been to.

Nicole won't even look me in the eye right now,

And it's only a matter of time where, you know,

I'm gonna have to man up and face this thing.

Thank you, guys. I loved it.

♪ I'm moving up, the sun is shining ♪

♪ It's a brand-new day ♪

[Buzzing]

You're a f*cking as*h*le for doing that to me!

And you're the worst friend I've ever had!

Yeah, all right.

[Buzzing]

I'm sure in a couple weeks we'll make up

And we'll be friends. Actually, no, 'cause

I want you to go f*cking die and rot in a hole.

[Razor buzzing]

This morning I just woke up and I realized

It's time for me to man up and have the talk with nicole

And see what happens.

Wish me luck.

Where you going?

Gonna apologize to snooks.

You're gonna apologize to nicole finally?

Yeah. Good luck.

Oh, god. Thanks.

Uh-oh.

I can only imagine what's gonna happen.

He's gonna go apologize to nicole.

Guess it's part of the steps.

You know, I really wanna salvage our friendship,

And I'm gonna just see, you know,

How she takes it right now.

Hey, I was wondering if you had a minute

I could... Maybe sit down and s-say hello.

There's so much damage that was done

That it's really hard for me to forget it.

I just don't understand why you would do that.

I'll leave you guys alone.

They locked it.

Hell, yeah, I'm jumping straight into that sh*t.

I'm like, all right, this is not funny anymore.

All: oh! They jumped!

♪ It's never been easy ♪

♪ But that's why I'm feeling ♪

♪ Like you can get me through this ♪

♪ Get me through this time ♪

Hey, I was wondering

If I could talk to you for a minute.

Okay. Cool.

Weird.

Do you wanna sit down?

I decided to let mike in

Just because I definitely had been waiting

For mike to talk to me.

So I just wanna hear this kid out.

It definitely upsets me that we don't sit and talk

Or have a friendship at all.

And I just wanted to come over and tell you that, um,

I'm sorry the way that things went down.

I'm sorry that maybe I ruined our relationship.

You know, I cared for you, you know what I'm saying?

I'm a different person,

And I definitely wanted to come and look you in the eye

And tell you that I'm sorry, you know?

It's really hard to forget everything

That happened last summer.

Why the f*ck would you tell unit

To f*ck' call jionni?

f*ck you. f*ck you.

[Objects crashing] I'm not kidding.

You know, you completely were talking sh*t

Behind my back and, you know,

It basically just embarrassed me and jionni as a couple.

I didn't do anything to you, snooks.

Really? You just told my boyfriend we hooked up

A month before italy.

I told you not to say anything.

I'm obviously hurt because you did that to me as a friend.

But I'm also hurt because...

You totally made a fool out of him.

I just don't understand why you would do that to me.

[Sighs]

Maybe I was protective.

You know, almost like a sister.

You know, when you're not happy with somebody, who they're with,

You're just like- you know, I apologize.

It's just awkward...

If you know what I mean.

Just everything that happened.

You scared of milk, popeye?

Once a cheater, once a cheater.

I never cheated on him, you f*cking moron!

You know, we were really tight.

You were the only girl that I've ever, ever had

As a friend, and that's the truth.

And you were the best friend I've had to be honest.

Mike! Oh!

And there's so many people out there in the world

That's gonna like you for you.

This is getting wild right now.

Right? It's getting wild?

You f*ck' as*h*le!

In my opinion, you were just wild like me.

Yeah, we're the same person and we got each other.

And that's why we were so close.

But you just don't do that to someone

Who you're really good friends with.

[Laughing]

I'm willing to, you know,

Fix whatever needs to be fixed, you know?

'Cause you definitely are an important person in my life,

And I would hate to lose you.

That would suck.

You kinda did.

I know I did.

I f*cked up, you know?

Yeah.

I'm really shocked at how genuine

Like mike's feelings are right now,

But there's so much damage.

It's hard to forget what you did to me.

But I was really waiting for you

To have this conversation with me for a while.

Yeah... But whatever.

I'm over it. Like, you know,

I have so much other things going on right now.

I'm having a baby in two months.

I know. I think- I think you look beautiful.

Thank you. You do.

You do kinda accept my apology?

Kind of?

I accept it.

You accept it.

I'm gonna try...

But like I said, it's really hard.

I understand.

I appreciate you just sitting down with me, you know?

This is cool for me, you know.

I'm happy for you.

I hope to be there for you if you ever need me.

Is that cool?

Mm-hmm.

Can I give you like a half-hug or something

Or a kiss on the cheek or a high five or something?

Start with a high five...

You awkward man, you.

A high five's not bad

If you haven't even had a conversation

In over a whole year, you know what I'm saying?

Okay. Thank you.

Yo, paula gave me a note.

"You are the most special thing in my life."

I got some store credit with paula.

She's back for being a booty call.

It's a definitely a boy.

That's the p*nis? That whole thing?

Holy sh*t.

He's gonna get all the girls in school.

So he has a big p*nis.

That's pretty large.

All right, don't be too cheesy.

No, I'm being nice, yo.

Boom.

How'd it go? It went pretty good.

What'd she say?

Sees that I'm doing the right things,

And it's a good start and whatnot.

It was a nice talk. Cool.

Yeah.

[Whispers] yo, we should lock the boys out on the deck.

You're asking for trouble. Yeah.

Aw, man, like you're all boring.

Like what happened to having some fun?

All right, I'll do it.

I like pranks. Schemer.

I don't know why. I am a schemer.

I feel sam matured.

I think deena matured a little bit.

[Laughing] matured.

Matured... Jenni?

Jenni is like a different person.

Jenni's a different person.

What are you guys doing, boy talk?

Yeah.

All right, I'll leave you guys alone.

It's all good. Yeah.

They're gonna prank us.

You locked it?

Yeah, but they're gonna know it's me,

Because I was just talking to them.

They're up to something.

They locked it.

They locked it? Yep.

Sammi has locked all the guys on the balcony.

They're gonna come with some water balloons.

If they come and hit me with a water balloon,

I swear to god I'm punching one of them in the face.

I will hit a b*tch. I'm from staten island.

[Laughter]

This prank is not amusing.

I am sick, and I wanna go to bed. [Coughs]

I think we can jump this. I can jump it.

I could jump this sh*t. I could jump this sh*t.

I'm not afraid to jump because I constantly land on my feets.

Son, that's an easy jump.

Oh, my god. Something dropped down.

Hell, yeah, I'm jumping straight into that ship.

I'll go unlock it. No!

No, I don't wanna do it anymore.

Oh, all right.

Mike's about to jump.

I'm like all right, this is not funny anymore.

[Laughter] f*ck you.

All: oh! They jumped!

Sam, it's too late! Oh, my god!

The girls are like, "oh, my god,

They're jumping over the balcony."

And I'm like, "oh, my god, are you serious?"

I'm like, "unlock the door. Abort... Abort this prank.

Abort this prank."

It's open! Sam, tell them it's open!

Tell 'em it's open. Wait, wait, wait.

Watch 'em jump though. Be like, "it's unlocked."

Yo, it's unlocked. It's unlocked.

It's unlocked.

We were gonna jump.

They were really gonna jump.

So she unlocks the door, we come in.

I mean, haven't they learned after six houses

That we do the dopest pranks?

Do not mess with the prank w*r champions.

So how do you lock the door and remember it was locked?

Hmm?

Had to be a reason that you locked the door.

Oh, you just remembered out of nowhere,

Holy sh*t, I left the door locked?

So you went up and unlocked it.

You're all f*cked.

I feel like I'm getting in trouble right now.

Why do you even bother?

You're only gonna get it six times as worse.

Ron's all talk.

I think he's all talk.

We were gonna jump off the deck.

Hopefully.

Gonna leave a sick person out?

[Clears throat] sorry, vin.

No, it's okay.

Let's go.

Right now, me, pauly, and mike feel like,

You know what? We need to get our gtl on.

Now you gotta see the ex, bro.

[Laughs]

She's all dressed up today. Look at her.

Who's tanning? I'm gonna tan.

I just came to visit. I'm gonna tan.

Uh, two's fine. For nine minutes.

Just walked in the tanning salon.

I look up, there's paula. And guess what.

She's looking fine! What's going on?

Where you going in, mike?

Um... ♪ Awkward! ♪

[Laughter]

You look nice today.

It's really not that awkward...

Until me and pauly make it awkward.

Hit start. It's all set.

And you're good.

All right, cool. What's up?

What up? I get a hug?

You were about to leave without giving me a hug?

What's up with that? [Laughing]

I am getting my tan on right now,

And I see that paula has left a note for me.

I didn't read that note. I'm gonna read it later.

You know me, I'm honest. I just went tanning,

And I like when you hit me up with a cute little note,

You know what I mean?

Feel like I'm like in high school again.

You gonna slip her the tongue?

No.

Oh, she don't even get a kiss? Yeah, she does.

She got more kisses when you broke up with her.

Ex-girlfriend problems. No.

Oh, come on.

See you tonight, paula. ♪ Awkward! ♪

I have a nice outfit for tonight.

Don't you worry. ♪ Awkward! ♪

See y'all later. See ya later.

She went to the love shack the other day.

♪ Awkward! ♪

Yo, paula gave me a note. Let me read it.

Don't- don't read it like a...

No, I won't read it like a d*ck, I swear to god.

Right.

[Clears throat] two sides.

I'm very good.

I used to read in church as a kid.

Bro, be nice. Really?

"Hi. So I did a lot of thinking this weekend.

I miss you so freakin' much." Mm-hmm.

"Even after four years of getting to know someone,

"It is possible to still rush into things.

"When it comes to you, my patience has been a must,

And I'm pretty good at it, lol."

She did not just put "lol" in a note.

Stop it, she's a girl. I still say lol.

She's a girl.

"You make so un-f*cking-believably happy..."

You make me so unbelievably-f*cking...

She forgot the "me."

Bro, this girl is Ret*rded. Stop it! Stop it!

Sometimes it happens. Just stop it, stop.

I'm sorry.

Paula can't write for sh*t.

She's misspelling words. She is missing words.

The note is on a roll. Keep going.

"I said I wouldn't give up on you, and I still haven't.

You are the most special thing in my life..."

Aww. "So I'm asking you...

"Please don't give up on me.

"Give me the effort and love

I have always given to you, babe."

Heart, "paula."

That was a very nice note. That was a very good note.

That was a very good note. That was a very nice note.

I really enjoyed it. I can't believe it.

It kind of... It kind of, you know, won me back.

Now you're reconsidering.

She's back for being a booty call.

Right now, I'm looking at nicole,

And she seems interested in the conversation

About paula's note, and I'm like you know what,

We're moving forward in our friendship.

But I really did like the note, it was very sweet.

And she looked hot again today at the tanning salon.

She makes sure she looks hot on purpose.

Be like, look what you're missing.

Pfft. [Laughing]

It feels nice to talk to mike right now.

I'm just like letting go of all the anger that I have for him.

And she has the nicest natural boobs I've ever seen.

I think she's very pretty.

He still has his dickhead tendencies,

But he's, I feel, a better person.

She's got the ni- she's got the nicest

Natural boobs I've ever seen. Like, I stare at her.

Yo, good looks on the note, man.

[Stammering] you know...

I told you. Nice and respectful.

Nice to meet you. Hello! My name's karen.

This is what it's gonna be like years from now.

Loud music! Fist pumping m*therf*ckers.

[Laughing]

Nicole's like our sister,

Now you're gonna be like our brother.

This is an extremely unorthodox sit-down,

'Cause most of the guys have hooked up with the fiancee.

This is good.

Yeah, I wanna get to know you, you know?

Yeah.

Oh, that's the food. Food?

Yay! Hey!

I got a delivery from lenny's.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, how much is it?

I'm very happy with the selection I chose.

Wait, are you contagious? Um...

I mean, if like I sneeze you. Don't sneeze on me.

Are you going out tonight, vin?

No.

Maybe you guys can hang out together now.

Yeah, you wanna hang out?

Cool.

So tonight, everyone's going out...

And vinny's sick. So this is good.

I have a handicap person in the house tonight,

And it just feels good to bond with vinny again,

Because, you know, he's like one of my brothers,

And we just, you know, have a blast together.

So what do you wanna do tonight?

I kinda wanna ride my scooter on the boardwalk.

I'll do a lap.

You wanna just do aztec then?

I'm down for whatever.

Hi! What's up?

So excited chris is coming over tonight,

And we're gonna spend time together,

Go to aztec, and I'm excited.

Have fun. Going to bed.

I'm not going to aztec. My stomach is in knots.

I just wanna go to bed.

See ya! See you guys later.

Have fun, kids.

Ah, kids. They grow up so fast.

I feel like the old grandma in the house,

And I'm youngest.

I know. It's weird seeing

People walk out the door, like, all dressed up.

Yeah, like they're going to get wasted...

Cricket.

And we're gonna ride our scooters.

Merp.

So we're walking to aztec, and I'm excited

To just get in there and dance.

I can't take this beeping. [Laughing]

Nicole. Whoa!

Oh, sh*t, I can't get up the hill.

I'm ripping it.

This is what it's gonna be like, you know, years from now.

[Old man voice] nice to meet you.

[Old woman voice] hello, my name's karen.

Vincenzo. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

When we're all old, we're all gonna be in scooters,

But we're gonna rock it.

Making a beeping noise. [Laughs]

I hate it.

[Laughing]

I think vinny's gonna make the best old man ever,

Just because he's like starting now.

[Beeping] stop beeping.

[Giggles]

[Laughs] I hate it.

I stopped using my viagra,

And now I have to go on the boardwalk.

I'm not kidding. You really look like an old man.

Whoa! Ooh! sh*t!

I can get red bull and then just be cool.

I'm drinking the same thing.

Except mine's got vodka. Only difference.

Tastes the same. Yeah, it does.

It's not easy at the club.

Everybody's drinking and having fun.

I'm not gonna lie... I want to go to the bar and get me a shot.

Uh, it's pretty hard for me not to drink.

Whoo!

You look nice.

What? I said you look nice.

Oh, so do you.

Part of me is excited that paula's there,

And the other part of me is like,

Uh, I don't know what I'm gonna do.

Can you hold this real quick?

No way. Just hold it.

I can't hold that.

Seriously?

I just got outta rehab.

You should know that I can't hold a drink,

Be around a drink, and it's hard for me to even be in the club.

I didn't like the fact you asked me to hold that drink.

I'm sorry.

You're mad, aren't you?

I'm sorry.

What's going on?

What just happened?

She asked me to hold her drink.

I said, "no, I can't hold your drink."

She's like, "hold it!"

I said, "what are you, drunk? I can't hold it!"

Mike was like, "I can't hold your drink."

And she got annoyed and she walked away.

She should know.

This is like the first time I can actually say, like,

Mike has a right to be mad at paula.

I'm sorry. You said no,

And I gave it to somebody else.

I just don't want you to be mad about something like that.

I don't want you to be mad at me all night.

I f*cking hate that.

This boardwalk should be more scooter accessible.

With ramps and sh*t? Yeah.

I wish aztec had a ramp. I'd so go in there.

They have no "welcome the elderly" here, I tell ya.

Do you wanna lift me... You guys lift me up, I'll go in.

[Crowd cheering]

Now, that is how you make an entrance inside of a club.

Whoo!

[Cheering]

Yo, you wanna battle?

Go, go, snook!

Wanna bounce? Yeah.

So, me and vinny leave aztec

Just because it's getting late, vinny doesn't feel good,

And I need my sleep.

It's weird, but you know, I guess that's what old people do.

That was fun.

Yo, snooki! Smush smush, you fat f*ck!

Shut the f*ck up!

Some guy yells at nicole, says that she's fat.

Nicole! [Scooter beeping]

Where are you going?

You gonna call a pregnant girl fat?

Huh?

You gonna call- call a pregnant girl fat?

I'm f*ck' gangster, yelling at dudes on my scooter.

[Chuckles] yo, that was the most gangster thing I ever did.

Hold on. [Scooter beeping]

You shoulda did this. Wait. [Horn plays{\i} la cucaracha]{\i}

[Laughs]

It just feels good to bond with vinny again,

Because we just have a blast together.

Wow, we had quite an adventure.

Right? Holy sh*t.

See, when you're not going to a club,

You actually do fun sh*t.

Thanks for hanging out with me.

No, thank you.

A friendship with nicole is finally back.

I'm going to sleep. All right. Night.

Oh. [Laughs]

What're you doing? I wanted to pound it.

Pssh. See you later.

Bye. Feel better.

♪ She's a time b*mb baby ♪

♪ A time b*mb ready to blow ♪

Did you just plank?

f*ck' as*h*le. ♪ She's a time b*mb baby ♪

♪ Ticking time b*mb out of control ♪

How are you? Where are you guys from?

Manalapan. You're from manalapan?

I'm from manalapan.

What street you live on?

Paula's like giving mike that creepy ex-girlfriend stare.

I'm gonna sit in a place where I could still watch you

But you could see me too.

It's kinda creepy.

Oh, you're so f*cking cute.

♪ Awkward! ♪ [Laughs]

Uh-oh!

You know, I was originally planning

To knock the dust off of that girl,

But she's starting to f*ck up with me in a major way.

Oh, paula went home by herself.

I definitely don't want paula around when she's like this.

She's known how to treat me for three to four summers now.

How do you not know now?

Is that the middle finger?

The baby, he's like, "f*ck off, I'm trying to sleep."

He is already flipping us off,

And he's not even born yet.

Wow.

I actually just got chills walking by some bed over there.

The girls brought this psychic lady.

The little corner? Yeah.

Well, I'm not sleeping in that bed now.

[Dial tone, dialing]

[Phone line rings]

Hello, this is jen.

Is this zen jen?

This is zen jen.

Do you need your energy read? Yeah.

Can you come over to our house tomorrow?

What would you like me to come to your house to do?

One of my roommates is really scared of ghosts,

So I want you to come here

And like scare the sh*t out of her.

You know, deena freaks out over anything.

A broken nail, deena will freak out.

So, I think it's just gonna be funny.

I could definitely play along with you.

All right, I'm really excited to meet you.

Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. All right. Thanks. Bye.

[Laughs]

Today is the day that I'm gonna go

To my sonogram and see my baby.

Let's do this.

Whoa! All: whoa!

[Laughter]

And I definitely want the girls to come

Because I want them to feel the realness of me being pregnant.

[Gasps]

Hi, poops.

[Whimpers]

So, when you go for your sonogram,

You have to lay down,

And then they put this jelly on your stomach.

Aah! That's hot.

And then you just start looking at the baby

To make sure that everything's growing right.

And we have the screens up here...

Oh!

All right, this here- oh!

This is, uh, the baby's head.

Oh... Oh, there he is.

He's definitely a meatball.

He looks so cute and little.

Like a little peanut.

[Laughs]

Oh, he's so cute.

It's like so cool, like we're able to see another life,

Another human being inside of nicole.

Oh, look at him. He's so cute.

It's definitely a boy.

Oh, man! Where's the p*nis?

Where? Where? By the arrow.

That's the p*nis? That whole thing?

Holy sh*t.

I see his little peeny, and it's like, meep.

So, he has a big p*nis.

That's pretty large.

I would say so.

His p*nis is big.

He's gonna get all the girls in school.

Is that his little hand?

Is that the middle finger? Is it?

Is he giving the finger? That is f*ck' amazing.

He's giving the frickin' finger.

He's already flipping us off and he's not even born yet.

God. I need that picture.

You need doubles.

Lorenzo is like this.

He just gave us the middle finger.

So he's like, "f*ck off, I'm trying to sleep,"

And giving mommy the middle finger.

Like, really?

Thank you. I've been coming here so often

He might as well by my guy now.

I'm definitely relieved

After seeing, you know, lorenzo and the doctor,

And I'm just glad that everything is okay.

Come on over, jionni.

Jenny, can I come over tonight?

[Chuckles]

You can come over all the time.

But just to kiss lorenzo.

Jionni's very defensive right now,

Which I have no idea why,

Because listen, bro, I'm just trying to help you out.

Like, try to help your relationship out.

Just be here for your girl. That's it.

What is this like a group thing that I don't come around?

I don't get it.

Yeah, it's bad, so I'm just trying to let you know.

Just make... What's bad,

Being here just as many times as roger has?

What do you think?

It just feels awkward right now,

Just because jenni and jionni are arguing,

And I'm just like, this is weird.

'Cause jenni's my best friend, jionni's my fiance.

Like, annoying.

Bye, jionni. Bye.

You got a stog? Nope.

Let's have a boys' night.

All right?

You wanna grab food? Grab food.

What do you think about calling jionni

And having him come?

Well, listen, I don't really want to be friends with jionni,

I'll tell you that straight up.

But jionni did just impregnate a member of our family,

So we have to initiate jionni into our family,

Get to know this kid,

And see what his real intentions are with our sister snooki.

I mean, I'm cool with him now, so...

Yeah. I'm down.

I'll call him up and see if he wants to meet us up.

He's one of the guys now if he marries snooki.

No way, bro. [Laughs] crazy.

Can't come into my family.

Now, that's always customary.

Whenever like, uh, in my family when somebody gets...

A girl gets married, and bringing the guy out

And f*ck', like, scare him to death and sh*t.

Exactly. [Chuckles]

All right, cool. Do that, then.

Yeah, call him and see if he can come.

All right.

I want to ask jionni a bunch of things,

Like what his intentions are,

Is he excited about the baby, is he excited about the wedding?

What he does for a living, does he have brothers and sisters,

Where does he live,

Where does he plan to live once he gets married?

So, we have a lot to talk about.

[Phone line rings] hello?

Jionni. Yeah.

Pauly d. Oh, what's up, buddy?

What's going on? Not too much.

Um, I was gonna see what you're doing tonight

Because we're gonna go out with the boys,

Wanted to see if you wanted to come

At like ... At like :. Um...

Yeah, I could probably meet you.

Yeah, you wanna do that? Yeah.

All right, cool. No problem. Sounds good.

We never, ever take jionni out,

And now we have jionni all to ourself.

He doesn't know if we're pranking him,

We're setting him up to fail,

Or we're gonna t*rture him,

He doesn't know what he's in for.

All right, perfect.

All right, pal, I'll see you later. Thanks.

Later. All right, bye.

Mike, last year I was a good guy to you, you know?

You were.

sh*t talking, I just...

I wasn't really sh*t talking, I was being honest.

Jionni, you are not getting to me right now.

I just felt like it was an unmanly thing.

What's the plan for tonight?

Guys are going to dinner and the cigar bar.

So, the girls are staying home?

And they're gonna get facials

And then we're gonna get facials.

Why are you bringing just jionni out?

What?

Are you gonna be nice to him?

Yeah, we're just having a guys' night.

Yeah, but why?

He's gonna be our new brother, and you're our sister, so...

So you're gonna be nice, right?

Yeah, I promise. I trust you.

We'll be nice. Okay.

If you tell me to be nice, we'll be nice.

I feel bad for jionni, because I don't know

What the boys want with him.

Guys! We gotta go!

They can definitely bust ba*ls and make fun of people,

And I just don't want them doing that to jionni,

Because he is the love of my life,

And let's not try and chase him away.

Roll out! Bye, girls. Have fun.

Bye, love you! Have fun!

Don't get too many facials. Bye!

Good luck, jionni. [Laughs]

So, if your pasta takes really long,

Start the pasta first.

I'm kind of just going along with what's going on right now.

Because jenni's like, we're gonna have this girls' night

And we want to bring deena.

To an amazing girls' night.

Yes. Yes.

[Glasses clink] cool.

Sisters from another mother. [Strains]

It feels really nice not having the boys around.

'Cause right now us girls are fine.

[Knocking]

You get it.

You get it. Someone has to get it.

Who the frig is knocking on the door?

It's supposed to be a girls' night.

Hi. Hi.

Let's go see what's going on.

I'm zen jen.

Where's your scary outfit I told you...

Hi. Hi.

This is zen jen.

Hi. Hi.

She's going to bless the house.

I'm zen jen.

You guys didn't tell me about this?

[Laughs] are you guys f*cked up?

[Laughs] we thought you'd like it.

I don't know about that. It's gonna be fine.

Dee, everything's gonna be fine. Yeah.

The girls brought this psychic lady,

And I absolutely hate that stuff.

It gives me anxiety.

Does anybody else get freaked out by this?

A little bit.

Are you freaked out?

I just get nervous with stuff like this.

I thought we were having a face mask night.

With onesies.

All right, let me just walk around

And... And do my thing.

I'm just gonna feel like the energy in the whole house,

And then I'll tell you what I find.

Okay. Okay.

Do you feel tingles in your vag*na?

Oh...

I don't, I feel chills in my whole body.

This girl is saying

She feels a tingling presence when there's a ghost,

And I'm like, "well,

"Do you get a tingling sensation in your vajayjay?"

Because then that'd be cool.

I don't like this like at all.

No, 'cause now we're f*ck' stuck,

And I know that there's something in here.

[Laughs]

It's a ghost.

I've not seen any ghosts in the house,

But I'm really not looking,

And I'm really hoping not to see any.

Wow, okay.

I actually just got chills walking by some bed over there.

I don't know, it was around the...

Which bed?

I'll let you know- the little corner?

Yeah.

So, when I get chills,

That's like a spirit present or something.

Well, I'm not sleeping in that bed now.

That's not happening.

Really? He hangs out right near my bed?

Do you think that's why I have such bad dreams?

Do you have bad dreams?

Horrible dreams. Could be.

Zen jen is explaining that there's a presence in the house.

Like a poltergeist.

Deena's freaking out.

We didn't... We didn't need somebody to come here

And tell us that there's people in here.

Just wanted her to read the house.

[Clears throat]

Demon's coming over me. [Laughs]

Oh, stop that. Don't say things like that.

I don't like that. [Laughs]

This is basically why we wanted a girls' night.

You know, obviously to hang out with each other,

But to pull a prank on deena.

Here, you want me to do upstairs too?

Nah. Nah, they're good.

Yeah, just us.

Yeah, the boys can sleep with the dead all they want.

Okay.

Yo, is he here?

Yeah, there he is.

What's going on?

What's up, my dude? Good to see ya.

What's up?

Yo, you see{\i} godfather i{\i}

When he's like, "we're gathered here today

To celebrate my daughter's wedding."

Jionni, see, we called you here today...

We all grab a cigar.

We have a sit-down with jionni.

'Cause, you know, we wanna know where his intentions are,

You know, what he's gonna do with our little snooki.

Nicole's like our sister,

And now you're gonna be part of our family.

You're like our brother, like our brother-in-law,

So we like wanted you to come hang with the boys.

Well, this is good. I'm glad you did.

Yeah, we want to get to know you, you know?

We understand that it's an extremely unorthodox sit-down

'Cause most of the guys have hooked up with the fiancee.

Awkward.

Like yeah, like nicole like has always been like the wild,

The crazy girl, you know what I mean?

If i... If I thought of her as what I saw,

I-i wouldn't- I wouldn't be here, you know?

I'm not- I'm not like a jerkoff.

I have a close family. My brother lives behind me.

Sister's a mile away, and my other brother's a mile away.

Every sunday dinner, they're always at my house.

Yeah. No matter what.

It's not- no, that's good.

[Laughs]

Jionni sounds a lot like me.

He has sisters, he has sunday dinner every sunday,

He has a big family, which is a good thing.

Yeah, like where do you see yourself like

Doing for work, you know what I mean?

Well, I mean, my atm business is just, you know, expanding.

Like you know, I'm getting opportunities all the time.

What is that? You own atms?

Yeah.

You know, if you go to a club and you swipe it?

Mm-hmm.

I'll make the percent that's... That's...

You got a f- the fee that they charge.

However you gotta make money

To support nicole and the baby, you do it.

If it's an atm business,

If it's handjobs for crack on the corner,

Whatever you gotta do,

Just make that money and take care of nicole.

Last year everybody said to me, you know,

Like, "all the guys are talking sh*t about you.

They said, you know, you're using her, you're doing this."

That's what I want to clear up. That's not... That's not the case.

You know what I mean? If I was...

If that was ever the case, i...

Why would I care so- about the whole italy thing?

You know what I mean? It k*lled me.

You know, that was the only time she screwed up with me,

And I gave her a second chance.

It's very awkward when jionni starts to talk about italy,

Because that's just a conversation

You never want to have

With the baby daddy of a girl who you banged.

Mike, the only thing is I was...

Last year I was a good guy to you, you know.

You were.

The sh*t talking, I just...

I wasn't really sh*t talking. I was being honest.

There's more{\i} jersey shore{\i} on the way,

And it starts right now.

Mike, the only thing is I was...

Last year I was a good guy to you, you know.

You were.

The sh*t talking, I just...

I wasn't really sh*t talking. I was being honest.

I just felt like it was an unmanly thing,

But as long as she's happy that's all I cared about.

She told me yesterday.

I apologize too.

You know, the last couple years

I definitely was a different person.

I'm sure these guys will tell you,

And you know, I'm back to being

The person who, you know, I strive to be on a daily basis.

Jionni, you are not getting to me right now.

I've already apologized to your girl.

But it's a little tough with us too.

Yeah, it's a little tough with us, but...

I put that into... To- to play, you know. Trust me.

No, she's definitely happy.

You make her happy, so that makes us happy.

No, I know, and... And...

'Cause she hasn't been happy lately

Because you haven't been around, so she's been like very...

I haven't been down here? Keep to herself.

Yeah, she's very like to herself.

Why does everyone keep saying that?

I'm down every week- I'm here every thursday, friday.

She makes it seem like you're not here.

Who, she does?

Yeah, everybody makes it seem like you're not around.

Yeah. Jenni was like saying that.

And like I don't know why it became a big conversation.

Where do you live?

She's the one that put it in everybody's head.

Um, jionni's getting real defensive when we say

That jenni said that jionni's not around too much.

I mean, i-i thought we were doing good down here.

I was coming, you know, twice a week.

Bro, honestly,

It made it seem like you guys weren't together and stuff.

No, that would never... That would never happen, you know.

Okay.

I'm an hour and a half away,

And I try to run my business, you know.

So it's hard for me to come here seven days a week.

My machines I have to maintain, you know.

Jionni's telling us right now

That he lives an hour and a half away

And that it's extremely hard to visit snooki.

And I'm like, "dude, it ain't that bad of a trip."

At the end of the day,

We don't want her taken advantage of.

That's what I mean, and I know that,

And that's why I'm marrying the girl, you know?

No, she has a good heart.

She... She really- she does.

Jenni, on the other hand... No. [Laughter]

Switch! I'm sorry.

Switch! [Laughs]

Yeah, that's gonna be a dope wedding, though.

As long as you guys'll come to the bachelor party.

All: oh!

We'll throw your bachelor party.

Party with us. Vegas.

Pauly's dj-ing.

I'm invited to jionni's bachelor party. [Clicks tongue]

I don't know if that's a good idea, but it's going down.

I bit down and took a lot of sh*t, you know?

And... You know...

I learned from a lot of sh*t,

And we're stronger than ever right now.

Good. Well, congratulations.

Welcome to the family. Salud.

Salud. Thanks, guys. I appreciate it.

So we dap up with jionni, and that shows him respect.

He shows us respect.

That means he has some brothers

That are lifelong friends.

You can't buy that. You know what I'm saying?

Welcome to the family, my dude.

All right, yo, let's jump him.

[Laughs]

Yeah, yo, we gotta go jump you in the back.

Thank you very much.

Yo, we're gonna give you a hazing in the back.

I can use one. [Laughs]

Thanks, buddy. Appreciate everything.

Welcome. Thanks for coming.

Thanks, guys. All right.

Whoo!

All right, let's go to the strip club.