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03x11 - Penn & Teller Get Trapped

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Penn & Teller: Fool Us". Aired: 7 January 2011 – present.*
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A magic competition television series in which magicians perform tricks in front of American magician-comedian duo Penn & Teller.

03x11 - Penn & Teller Get Trapped

Post by bunniefuu »

[jazz music]

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

- From the Penn & Teller
Theater in Las Vegas, Nevada,

here's our host,
Alyson Hannigan.

[cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

- Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

Thank you.

Welcome to
"Penn & Teller: Fool Us."

The premise of this show
is so simple,

even my three-year-old gets it.

A magic guy tries to do a sneaky
on two other magic guys,

and if they do,
they get a lollipop,

and they get to perform

in Penn and Teller's
famous magic show.

Now, before you start
getting fidgety,

here they are,
the bad, bad boys of magic,

Penn and Teller!

[cheers and applause]

- Hey.
Hey, you.

I love your dress.
I love your dress.

Your dress looks beautiful.

[cheers and applause]

- Whoo.
- How you doing?

- Yep.
- Who's here?

[cheers and applause]

- Whoo-hoo!

As always, Penn and Teller
have no idea

who any of the performers are
ahead of time,

so let's give them
their first surprise.

- I'm Jim Leach.

- And I'm Christopher Tracy.

And together, we are...

- Jim Leach
and Christopher Tracy.

- Exactly.

Me and Jim
have known each other

for about 25 years.

- We have a similar
sense of humor.

We share a passion for magic.

- I would describe my magic
as zany

and insane on some levels.

- My approach to magic

is a little bit more classical

as opposed to Christopher,

who's a little loud,
off-putting.

- He's short.
I'm tall.

He's obnoxious,
and I'm the nice guy.

[rock music]

- I imagine Penn and Teller

will be very impressed with me

and creeped out by him.

- What?

[cheers and applause]

- Please welcome

Christopher Tracy and Jim Leach.

- Hi.
My name's Hal.

This is my partner, Kellar.

We are Hal and Kellar,

two eccentric guys

who've learned to do
a few feol things.

My partner Kellar here
is psychic.

He's placed a prediction
in this envelope.

That will be important shortly.

We also have a deck of cards,

and we need two helpers.

How about you two
in the VIP seats?

Would you mind joining us
up here?

[cheers and applause]

- Good to see you.
- How you doing?

What's your name?
- My name is Penn.

- Nice to meet you.
And you are?

Okay.

[laughter]

You guys know how to shuffle?

- I do.
- You do? Excellent.

We'll get you both
involved, then.

We'll give you--
we'll cut the cards in half.

- Okay.

- Okay, fine.

That's better.

Close enough.

Go ahead and shuffle those,
if you don't mind,

and you can shuffle these.
- Okay.

- Shuffle till you're happy.

Happy with the mixture
of the cards,

not life in general.

We don't have that kind of time.

- Okay.

[laughter]

- Nicely done.

Now, I'd like you
to help me out some more.

Cut the cards into two
approximately equal piles.

They don't have to be exact.
You don't have to count them.

Counting tricks
are inherently boring.

And you do the same.
Cut those into two piles.

Excellent.

Now, we're about to do something
most magicians won't do.

I'm going to point out

the fact that we're going to do
the trick move.

Now, normally, when
a run-of-the-mill magician,

or rabbit-pullers,
as we like to call them--

when a rabbit puller
does the tricky move,

they try to distract you

with misdirection.

They'll have
a gorgeous showgirl come out

or some short, quiet,
creepy guy.

Um.

But my partner Kellar
is the world's greatest

sleight of hand artist,

so we're actually gonna call
attention to the tricky move.

Would you hand me
either of those piles?

Excellent.

Hand me either of those piles.

Outstanding.

My partner will now do...

the tricky move.

That was outstanding.

I've never been more proud
to be this man's partner.

That was outstanding.

All right, now, do this.
Do as I do.

Just take those cards

and shuffle them together
like that,

faceup into facedown,

creating a mess,

and I don't want
to leave you out.

Go ahead and take both piles

and shuffle them together
as well.

Nicely done.

Now, I've shuffled the cards.

You've shuffled the cards.
You've shuffled the cards.

I think you'd agree
that the cards are a mess.

Let's consult
my partner's prediction.

My partner Kellar
has predicted...

that the cards...

Let's check.

They are a mess.

Now, your typical rabbit-puller
would end the trick there,

because it's a prediction,

and it's successful.

[laughter]

But wait.
There's more.

Kellar predicted that...

Let's check.





- Good counting.

- 10, 11, 12,







Exactly 23 cards...

are facedown.

That's a good trick, Kellar.
How'd you do it?

My partner has predicted
that of these,

there are exactly 12 cards...

that are red.

If you pull this off, buddy--

that's good.
That's good.

Let's check.







Exactly 12 cards are red.

[applause]

That's good.

But wait.
There's more.

My partner predicts
that all of the black cards

are spades.

Check it out.

Spade.

Spade.

Spade.

Spade.

Spade.

Spade.

Spade.

Spade.

Spade.

S--what?

[cheers and applause]

Thank you.

- Wow, Tracy and Leach.

Wow.

That was really impressive.

- Thank you.
- Thanks.

- So do you guys tour

as Hal and Kellar?
- No.

- Well, we just

came up with a crazy idea.

- Yeah.
- We live in

two different states.

- Man, that must have been

a challenge to rehearse

without being in the same room.

- Yeah.
- We had a few opportunities,

but most of it was
electronic communication.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

- That's incredible.
both: Thank you.

- And why did you switch it up

and have the tall one
be the quiet--

- Be the quiet one?
For that reason.

- All right.
- We just wanted to--

- Switch it up.
- Parody it.

- Yep, yep.
- All right.

And do you think they'll take it
as the loving gesture

that it's intended?
- I certainly hope so.

Like I said,
we're just enormous fans.

Big fans of theirs.
- Aww.

All right.

Penn, Teller.

Boys.

Hello.

- Yeah, boy, what a weird idea,

to have the little guy talking.

Just so--such a weird-a*s idea.

- [laughing]

- Thank you.

- We're very, very,
very flattered

by the parody.

Very, very funny.
- Thank you.

- And, you know--I don't know if
you've worked the cruise ships,

but you've been on 'em, right?

- Yeah.
- I work it.

- You know, a lot of times,
they have

older people on cruise ships,
don't they?

- Yeah.
- What games do they play

on cruise ships?

- Chess.
- Chess, they'll play chess.

Sure.
- Shuffleboard.

- Bowling.
- Shuffleboard.

And they even play...

Simon--
- Simon Says.

- Simon Says, yeah.
- Yeah.

- Simon Says.

Simon Says, and the--
this is kind of

a cruise ship-y kind of trick,
in that way, doesn't it?

I mean--
- I--I got it, yeah.

- As we went on, there was
a cruise ship director

named Aronson, wasn't there?
On the ship?

- I don't know.
I didn't go with you.

- Yeah, well, the cruise ship
we went on...

- But I can imagine
there would be, yeah.

- Had that one too.
- Yeah.

- But it's a good ship,
wasn't it?

- A great, great ship.

- Really, really, really
good ship.

- Is he trying to go on vacation
with you guys,

or does this
mean something to you?

- Sounds good to me.
- I'm hitting on them.

- I knew exactly what he said.
- Okay.

Okay, so you're cool
with whatever he's saying,

and you did not fool them.
- Cool with what he's saying.

We did not fool them.
- No.

- I suspect by his specificity,

it would have fooled him if he
wasn't already familiar with it.

- I actually
did work on that trick,

and I actually have
a version of it...

- Oh, see, I never knew that.
- So I did know a little bit

about--yeah.

[all laughing]

- All right.
- l right.

Well, it is hard to...
- Thank you.

- Fool the smartest guys
in magic.

- Well, could we just do this--
- So thank you very much.

- Could we just pose with them?

I just want to pose with them.
- Oh, definitely.

- I want to get
this look done right here.

- Yeah.
- Selfie.

Here we go.
- There you go.

[cheers and applause]

Penn and Teller and two guys
who look like Penn and Teller.

We'll be right back.

[jazz music]

♪ ♪

[jazz music]

♪ ♪

- Welcome back to "Fool Us."

Penn and Teller,
you ready for more?

Mm-kay, you better be,

because it's time
for our next fooler.

- My name's Neil Croswell,

and I specialize in stage magic
and grand illusion.

[upbeat music]

In Toronto, where I grew up,

it's very urbanized,

so I have a very urban
approach to magic.

I like to pull inspiration
from hip-hop culture,

music, movies.

My first gig, I got a gig
at a restaurant

where I'd go around
and show tricks,

so they'd see a little kid
come up in a tuxedo.


I got laughed at,

but I really learned
that life isn't always jolly.

You know, if you
really want something,

you've got to work at it,

and last year,
I was in Magic of China

International
Magic Championships,

where I was fortunate enough
to bring home the gold there.

I can bring joy to people.
I don't need to say a word.

I can go anywhere in the world,
and the magic is the language.

It speaks for itself.

[cheers and applause]

- Joined by his partner Ashley,

please welcome Neil Croswell!

[cheers and applause]

- What's up, everybody?
My name is Neil Croswell.

This is my amyistant Ashley,

and, well, like most women,
Ashley--

she loves to shop,

and whenever we go
shopping together,

she always performs
her favorite magic trick:

making all the money
in my pocket disappear.

[laughter]

Take last week, for example.

We went shopping,
and she found a brand-new dress

she wanted to buy.

The only problem was
that she couldn't decide

if she wanted to get it
in the color red

or if she wanted to get it
in the color blue,

so me, being a magician,

I told her to buy both
of the dresses,

and I came up with a way
to help her make up her mind.

[upbeat techno music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

- Neil Croswell!

And Ashley.

Hi, nice to see you.
- Hi.

- That was really cool.

- Oh, thanks.

- I wish I could shop that way.

- Yeah.

- So you guys are actually
a couple in real life,

is that correct?
- Yes we are.

Yeah, yeah, we are a couple.
- Aw.

- Partners on- and offstage

for just about five
and a half years now.

Pretty much since
we've been together,

we've been doing magic
together, so...

- That is so sweet.
- Yeah.

When we met, I actually didn't
even tell her I did magic,

because I thought it was sort of
a lame way to pick up a girl,

and so she found out,
and she came over to my house,

and I had an illusion that I'd
bought from another magician.

I'd never used a girl,

and she saw it, and she said,
"Neil, what does this do?"

And it was, like,
a lightbulb moment for me.

I'd never had a girl
in it before.

I said, "Well, why
don't you get in?

I'll show you."

And so she got in.
I tried it out.

She fit perfectly.

She comes out, and she goes,

"Do you got any more?"

- Aww.
- So it worked out perfect.

- Is that the moment
you knew you were in love?

- I think so, definitely.

And yeah, now she's doing magic
of her own,

and it's all sorts of fun.

- Aw, that's sweet.
- Yeah.

- All right.
Boys.

- Yeah?
- Time's up.

- Nice act, nice version.

I always like to point out stuff

that's better than people
at home might think.

We have everything set up
to be done onstage,

just facing one direction.

I believe you can do this thing
in the round,

which is very, very rare...
- Yep.

- For an illusion.

That's a beautiful thing
in that,

because a lot of times,
magicians are stuck

only working out there

with everything kind of
almost in two dimensions.

This, you can move cameras
all the way around.

You can--you can spin
that thing around.

You're completely safe
from everywhere.

We think--
but don't hold us to this.

This isn't the whole thing.

We think this is a Steinmeyer,

that did the version of this.
- Yep.

Yep, that's correct.

- But that's not enough
to tell you, you know.

It's funny, because
we're wearing suits here,

and you're wearing
kind of a hoodie,

and some would say
you're underdressed,

but in a modern version
like this,

I don't think either you
or Ashley were underdressed

for the situation.

We have a little drawing
for you...

- Sure.
- That Teller would like

to show you, and also,

you know, Alyson, that whole
striped-dress thing...

- Yeah.
- Is rather new.

They wouldn't do that
in the old version.

- No?
- Not in the old version.

- Why?
- Because it's a new idea.

And we'll just--
why don't you give--

why don't you let Alyson see?
- Oh.

- Okay, you got a little--

got a little shot of that
right there,

so it'll be put safely in a--

- Wait, so did--

He didn't--
- Put it very safely in there.

- So he didn't fool you?

- No, unfortunately,
they didn't,

but it's been an honor
to be here.

- And away with you.

- Aww, bye, safe.

[laughter]

Aww.

Give it up for Neil Croswell!

All right, thank you.
- Nice job.

- All right.
Well, thank you.

- All right.
- Take care.

[cheers and applause]

- When we come back,
we'll see if our next magician

has what it takes
to fool Penn and Teller.

[jazz music]

♪ ♪

[jazz music]

[cheers and applause]

- Welcome back.

No one's fooled
Penn and Teller so far.

Let's see if our next act
can work his magic.

- When I was born,
I had a massive stroke.

I was not supposed to walk,
talk, or roll over.

As luck would have it,

I kind of turned out okay.

I like to take classic magic

and make it funnier.

I don't want to stand onstage

like the classic magician
in the tuxedo.

I would rather make people
almost even feel

a little awkward
or uncomfortable,

because that's how I am.

[exciting music]

Magic Boy is a persona

that I'm working on.

If someone were in trouble,

I think Magic Boy
would find a way

to rescue them.

♪ ♪

Magic is absolutely
its own superpower.

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

- Our show gives a platform

to some of the youngest
performers in magic,

and we can't get any more young
than this next act.

Please welcome Ben Young.

[cheers and applause]

- Thank you very much.
Thank you.

Before I do any magic,

I'm actually going
to read the minds

of everybody here.

So to answer your question...

yes, I am older than I look.

I'm 12.

- [laughs]
- Thank you.

Believe it or not,
I actually just turned 24.

[applause]

So before I hit puberty,
let's do some magic.

This...

is my prediction.

It's also a napkin.

Magicians are weird.

You're gonna
have to get used to that.

No, magicians
have to be weird, though,

because we have to take
normal things,

and we have to turn them
inside out, upside down,

twist them all around to create

unexpected and amazing magic
for all of you.

So are you guys ready
to get weird?

Yeah, let's do this.

All right, so I need to borrow

a phone, and I was wondering,

do either of you have a phone?
- I do.

- Penn, do you have a phone
on you?

- I'm not supposed to.

- No, are you texting
during the show?

- I'll be reprimanded for this,
but yes, I do.

- Okay.
- I have mine.

- Well, if the trick goes south,
you can always start texting.

It's okay.
I forgive you.

You can tweet if you want to.

Do you mind if I

go through your phone?
- No.

- Okay, good.
You don't have a choice.

- I have no secrets
from you, Ben, nothing.

- Okay, good.

Thanks for remembering my name.

[laughter]

Um, can I take a selfie?

Is that okay?
- Sure, please.

- Okay, perfect.
- I want to see that.

- You're gonna be
really happy to have that one.

- I am.
- Not today.

We're gonna use your calculator.
- Sure.

- We're actually going to
generate a large number.

So would you put in
a four-digit number?

Something random,
something big.

- Okay.
- Four digits.

- Perfect.
Hit Times.

- Times.
- Times, perfect.

Teller, you're gonna put in
a three-digit number.

Something random,
something big.

Perfect.
Hit Times again.

All right, and Alyson is going
to give the last number.

Alyson, would you
join me onstage?

- Sure.
- Thank you so much.

Alyson Hannigan,
ladies and gentlemen.

- Aw, thank you.
- Thank you so much.

Good to see you.
Good to see you.

- Yes.
- Are you excited?

You're gonna finish off
the number.

- Ooh, exciting, yes.
- It's a big moment.

- Very.

- You know what, just put in
a random two-digit number.

- Okay.
- We're working our way down.

Hit the Equals button.
We'll be done with this.

Ooh, that's a--
okay, that's a big number, yes?

- Yes.
- Okay.

I'm not good with math,

but just kind of proofread me.

It looks like it's...



- Correct.
- Does that seem right?

- Yes.
- Okay.

Would you hold the phone for me?

That way I can see it.
Perfect.

We're gonna write it down.

Okay, so...



All right, and you can
set the phone down.

That's yours now.
- Okay.

[laughter]

Thanks, Penn.

- It's an upgrade.
- Yeah, it is.

- Here, if you'll hold that,
and if you'll stand over there

so everybody can see
the glass right there?

Now, the chances that my
prediction matches that number--

the chances of it matching
are approximately



you get the idea.

Ladies and gentlemen,

my prediction...

Is blank.
- Oh.

- I said we were gonna
get weird.

This is only part
of the prediction.

We only need part of the napkin,

and if you watch
the napkin closely,

we'll get to the next part
of the prediction.

Watch closely.

Alyson, do you see
something happening?

- Uh, yeah.
- Yes.

What has happened?

What does that appear to be?

- [stammering]
An egg?

- An egg.
It does look like an egg.

But this is part
of my prediction,

but it's not all
of the prediction.

We only need part of it.

We don't need this part
of the egg.

Thank you.

All we need...

[applause]

All we need is this.

This is my prediction.
- Okay.

- You don't get it.
- Not quite.

- I said we were gonna
turn things inside out,

upside down,
turn them all around,

and in this case,
I'll hold the eggshells.

Alyson, would you please
turn the pad all the way around

for everybody to see?

- [stammering]
- All the way around.

Rotate it around.
- Okay. Confused.

- Alyson Hannigan,
ladies and gentlemen.

Eggshells.

- Oh.

I get it.

[cheers and applause]

Ben Young, everybody.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

[applause]

- Wow, that's so cool.

So what got you into magic

in the beginning of your--your--

- I actually--
I asked myself, "Ben,"

'cause that's my name--

"Ben, what career choice

would make my mom
the most disappointed in me?"

- Aww.

- We're well on our way.

- Aww.
- Yeah.

- So do you do sort of big acts

like escapes or anything, like,

on a large scale as well?
- I do.

I like to have my personality

be the driving force
in the magic,

but I do a straitjacket escape
as well.

That's one of the bigger
things that I do, yeah.

- Wow.
- Yeah.

- All right,
well, let's check in

with Penn and Teller.

- Let's see what they got.

- I loved you--I love the idea

of turning it sideways

to take the selfie.
- Yes.

- 'Cause the phone's--
you know, you never know.

A lot of people do selfies
in portrait mode,

and you doing it in landscape
was a really great--

I like you doing that,
'cause that's the way

movies are supposed to be.
- Yeah, sure.

- They're supposed to be.

And that turn was a--
was a lot of what

made this whole thing great,

and the eggshell--

to use that as a punch line to
a number thing is really great,

but now we're gonna do something

very special for you, Ben.
- Okay.

- 'Cause Teller writes stuff

all the time.
- Okay.

- And we never let
Alyson see it.

We never let the audience
see it,

but Teller's written down
something.

He's gonna let everybody see
right here,

and because you're so good
with codes...

- Every--
- You may have a really

nice idea what that means, Ben.

Does that mean anything
to you, Ben, right there?

- Yes, it does.
- But, see, it's really nice.

If you show it around at home
and everything,

right there is what we're
showing there.

Does it have a little bit
of a hint that we might know?

- A little bit, yes.
- A little bit, yeah.

- So what does that mean to you?
- But beautifully done.

Beautifully done,
beautifully done.

- Yes, thank you so much.
I appreciate it.

Thank you.
Thank you.

- It looks like
you didn't fool them.

- No.
- Is that correct?

- Correct.
- Aww.

Well, thank you so much.
- Yeah, thank you, Alyson.

Appreciate it.
- Ladies and gentlemen,

Ben Young!
- Thank you so much.

- Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

Much more to come,
including an amazing trick

by Penn and Teller,

so stick around.

[jazz music]

♪ ♪

[jazz music]

[cheers and applause]

- You came back.

I knew you would.

As a reward, here's our next
potential fooler.

- One of the hardest things
I've found is,

how do you
make magic interesting

and relevant?

What I'm trying to do
is present magical routines

that are about me
and the way I see the world.

We are pretty preoccupied
with race.

I've gotten it my whole life,
ever since I was a young boy.

People are wondering,
"Where is this guy from?

Is he this, is he that?"

He's got different-looking
features.

As I got older
and got better at magic,

I incorporated all of it

into a magic routine,

because magic teaches you

that all you think you know

might not all hold true,

and don't judge a book
by its cover.

What I hope to teach
a person watching my show

is that important things

can also be entertaining.

[cheers and applause]

- Please welcome Henok!

[cheers and applause]

- Ta-da.

[laughter]

Folks, I know
it doesn't look like much,

but that envelope is a mystery,

because inside of that envelope

lies the answer to the question
you've been asking yourself

since the moment
I've taken the stage,

that question being

"Who is this mysterious
caramel man?"

[laughter]

"And what is his exotic
mixed background?"

Thousands have tried,
but thousands have failed

to guess my exotic
mixed background,

so tonight,
for your viewing pleasure,

and especially
for my own curiosity,

we're gonna play a game.

A game I like to call

Please, Guess My Exotic
Mixed Background.

[laughter]

The game is simple.

All you have to do is just guess

which two countries I come from.

No right or wrong answer here,

just your opinion.

Penn, we'll begin with you.

You're a man
that's traveled the world.

Whenever you're ready,
give me any two countries.

- Haiti.

Dominican Republic.

- And just like that,
we are building

an exotic powerhouse of a man

and a heck of a baseball player.

[laughter]

Teller, we'll go with you.
I know you're a quiet man,

but you--you hang around
with Penn,

so you tend to travel as well.

Think of the two--
any two countries,

and whisper 'em to your friend.

- He says France
and the Philippines.

- France and the Philippines.

Folks, it does not get
any more exotic than that.

I'll tell you what.

Got a gentleman right there

in the blue shirt
a few rows back.

Sir, what's your name?

- Andrew.
- Andrew.

Andrew, you and I
have never met before.

- No.

- But as you can imagine,
Andrew,

being a Haitian, Dominican,

French, Filipino guy...

- [laughing]

- I used to have a nickname
in college.

Andrew, it was
a simple nickname.

Very simple.

What do you think it was?

- The Legend.

- The Legend?

Alyson, I want you
to imagine, Alyson,

that you get the opportunity
to go out

for a night on the town
here in Las Vegas

with a Haitian, Dominican,
French, Filipino guy

named the Legend.

- [laughs]

- It's a heck of a story
for your friends

and family, Alyson.
- Mm-hmm.

- What's the name of the
restaurant we're going to go to?

Lady's choice,
no expense spared.

- Ooh.

Is there a Nobu?

- Yes, there is.

- Nobu!

- Nobu.

As you can tell,

Alyson has very,
very high taste.

Folks, we've learned a lot
by doing this.

We've learned that our judges
are very strange individuals

with highly unusual
opinions about me.

We also learned you can't
judge a book by its cover,

'cause at the end of the day,
I'm not Haitian, Dominican,

French, or from the Philippines.

None of the above.

The truth is,

I happen to have
an Ethiopian father

and an Irish mother.

Ethiopian-Irish not only
produced these strange features,

but it serves as a warning,

because if any of you try
to challenge me to a contest

that involves
long-distance running

and drinking...

- [laughing]

- You're going to lose, Alyson,

'cause I was bred
for that sport.

- Okay.
- However, tonight, you guys

came out here
not to know how far

a man can run
or how much he can drink.

You came here for a mystery.

Inside that envelope
is a piece of paper

with words on it.

Powerful, powerful words.

Alyson, are you busy right now?
- No.

- Tell you what, give Alyson
a big round of applause

as she comes up and joins me
up here onstage.

Give it up for Alyson.

[speaking indistinctly]

If you will, we need to
open up the mystery.

Take off the clasps for me.

Excellent.
Get rid of it.

We don't need it anymore.

[clasp clatters on floor]

[laughter]

Alyson,
you've unsealed the mystery.

If you would, take out
that piece of paper for me.

Unfold it all the way.

Folks, the reason I keep
one piece of paper

inside of an envelope
is because that is an entry

from my diary,

AKA man journal,

and before a show,
I like to confess

some heavy things on paper.

Alyson, if you would,
take it right from the top.

Read it loudly and slowly,

so we can process
this whole thing.

- "Dear man journal..."
- Mm-hmm.

- That's cute.

"I'm really looking forward
to performing

"on 'Penn & Teller: Fool U''
tomorrow.

"I am also interested
in the judges' thoughts

"on my exotic mixed background.

"My guess is that the talkative
judge will say

'Haiti, Dominican.'"

- Wait, Penn, that was you.

- That was me.
I'm the talkative judge.

- Yep.
- I said that.

- "And the quiet one will think
'France, Philippines.'"

- That was you.
- Yep.

- "After the performance,

Alyson and I will go
to a special restaurant, Nobu."

- It's meant to be.
- "I hope the viewers

"enjoy this mystery.

Love always,
the Legend."

- The Legend, folks.
The Legend.

[applause]

The Legend.

[applause]

- Are we really going to Nobu?

- Yeah, we're definitely going.

- Awesome.
- We're--it's--

- I'm so glad I didn't--
- We shouldn't wait

for them to deliberate.

We should just go right now.
- Okay.

I'm so glad
I didn't pick Chipotle.

- This is for you to keep...
- Aw, thank you.

- To always remember
the mystery, all right?

- Yeah.

That is so cool.

- Thank you.
Thank you.

- So do you incorporate
personal stories

into all of your tricks?

- Yeah, I try to
keep everything about me

and things that
I've experienced in life,

life experiences,
to try to make it

as authentic as possible,

so when people maybe see
a magic routine,

they're getting to learn
just a little bit about me.

- And so what else would you
like the audience to know

about you that they can't tell
just by looking at you?

- I like long walks
on the beach.

- Aww.

Very sweet.

Let's go to Penn and Teller.

Penn, Teller,

what do you think?

- Well, another act
that we just loved.

What you've taken
is a 21st-century premise,

which is, as soon as you

talk about race...
- Mm-hmm.

- In the United States
of America

in the 21st century--

as soon as you talk
about where people are from,

no matter what side
you are of that,

no matter how you feel
about that,

everything tightens up...
- Mm-hmm.

- In your body, so when you

brought that up--

brought up the actual question
we were thinking about...

- Mm-hmm.
- Which is what you look like,

where you're from,
what your ancestry is,

it brings a feeling
that is real and contemporary

and gives that little
off-kilter feeling.

I can't tell you how smart
I think that is...

- Oh, thank you.

- To replace the spiritual
mumbo jumbo

with something
really contemporary

and powerful,
and it was an amazing way

to do confabulation.

Amazing way to do that trick,

because I have never
cared or worried

about what a prediction
was gonna be,

and I cared and worried
about this,

and it was perfectly ex*cuted.

- Thank you.

- Well, that was

a lot of praise.
- Mm-hmm.

- Was there also
some sort of code word in there?

- Well--
- All I heard was compliments.

- Unfortunately,
I didn't fool 'em.

- Aww.
- They're--they know

what they're talking about.

- And I got to tell you,

I wish more than anything

that I had nailed
Ethiopian and Irish,

'cause then
you would've gone crazy.

- Nobody's ever gotten it
so far, but...

- [laughing]
- Aww.

Well, thank you, Henok.
- Thank you.

Thank you so much.
- Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, Henok.

[applause]

All right, Penn and Teller

have been sitting around
all night,

but we'll get them up
and put them to work

when we come back.

You don't want to miss it.

♪ ♪

[jazz music]

[cheers and applause]

- And now, to close the show,

the king of our stacked deck,

Penn and Teller.

[cheers and applause]

- We get asked pretty often

how'd we get into magic,

how'd we get into theater,

and I don't ever really answer.

They don't want me
to really answer.

They want to hear about Houdini

and swindling and trickery

and honest lying,

but the truth is more complex.

How I got here
is not very linear.

I spent summers in the woods,
camping with my parents.

I walked in the woods alone.

I explored,

and that's where
I discovered the prop

that would make me
who I wanted to be.

The prop that put me
in this show.

It was a beaver trap,

and I knew it was
very dangerous.

I knew it belonged
to someone else,

but I picked it up

carefully, so as not to crush
my fingers.

I brought the trap
back to my parents.

My parents had taught me
not to steal.

My parents raised me well,

but my parents hated trappers.

They hated that image of a trap

designed to not quite
break the bone,

so the tortured,
panicked animal

would not be able to chew
its own leg off too swiftly.

So to my parents,
I was not a thief.

To my parents,
I was some sort of hero.

In their minds,
I'd saved an innocent animal

from a horrible death,

so I could keep the trap

as a reminder of the cruelty
of some of my species

and a promise that I would
grow up different.

I didn't care about any of that.

I just wanted the trap,

and now it was mine.

[metallic snapping]

When summer was over,

I brought the trap
back to our home.

I kept it in my room.
I oiled it.

I decided that I would
become an expert.

I got my first job.

I was route supervisor
for a small giveaway newspaper.

I did spot-checks
going door-to-door,

making sure the other paperboys

had done their jobs properly,

and I bought traps.

[dramatic country music]

[crowd murmuring]

I bought mouse and rat.

I bought prairie dog and weasel.

My second job
was filling gum-ball machines.

I bought otter and wildcat.

I learned everything
about the traps.

I learned how some traps
are set in the water,

so the animal will drown.

I learned how every trap
is marked with a number

that indicates
the strength of the jaws.

I learned how the chain
coming off the trap

is not hooked to a tree

but rather to a loose log
called a drag...

♪ ♪

Which confuses and tires
the animal without giving it--

[metallic snapping]

- Oh!

- Without giving it
the necessary leverage

for escape.

I kept my respect,

but I conquered my fear.

♪ ♪

After I'd read every book
on the subject

in my local library,

I sent away for books
and catalogs

from the back
of "Field & Stream" magazine.

Whenever a book
arrived in the mail,

as soon as I'd open it,
I'd write in the front.

I'd write the date,
how much I paid,

the address to which I'd sent,

and then I'd write my name.

And after my name,
I'd put a comma,

and after the comma,
in quotation marks,

I'd write,

"King of Animal Traps."

♪ ♪

[applause]

♪ ♪

[crowd murmuring]

[applause]

♪ ♪

[applause]

♪ ♪

[metallic snapping]

[crowd murmuring]

[laughter]

♪ ♪

[laughter]

♪ ♪

[traps snapping]

♪ ♪

[trap clatters]

♪ ♪

- Oh!

[metallic snapping]

[laughter]

♪ ♪

[laughter]

♪ ♪

[laughter]

[crowd murmuring]

♪ ♪

[metallic snapping]

[cheers and applause]

[laughter]

- When I got a little older,
I got a job

washing dishes
for a whole summer,

and I bought bear.

[chain clattering]

Finally, I had a bear trap.

It was really big,
a little rusty.

It was used,
an antique,

a piece of Americana.

The jaws of this trap
were so big,

it would ruin the pelt
of anything smaller than a bear.

To set this trap,
I needed a tool.

It was too strong to set
by standing on it.

The mechanism
was too powerful to be moved

by full body weight.
I needed a tool.

[metallic snapping]

[crowd murmuring]

I needed a tool
to hold down the spring.

A tool to pry open the jaws.

A tool to put leverage
back on my side,

and I mastered it.

I was not an animal.
I was human,

and I had two thumbs,
and I had sense in my head,

and I could set the trap
without being hurt.

♪ ♪

And I could get bait
out of the trap

without being injured.

I was...

[drumroll]

King of Animal Traps.

[drumroll]

[cheers and applause]

I showed my classmates my skill.

They were impressed

but not impressed enough

that I felt I could make it
my whole career,

so I broadened my horizons,

and I diluted my goals.

And that's how I got to be half
of Penn and Teller.

Here you go, Teller.

[shouts]

[crowd exclaiming]

[cheers and applause]

- Okay.

All right.

I got to go lie down

after seeing that.

Come back for more

"Penn & Teller: Fool Us"
next week.

[jazz music]

♪ ♪