03x06 - Windows

[bunniefuu]

Gotta fold.
Oh, too much for you, Patrick?

You've teased me
with this before, Gab.

I must admit,
got my curiosity going.

But if you cross me...

What's this?

What, a poem?

"Behind the window without a view,

"In the dark, we survive,

"Safe forever
In the Sainte Victoire stone

"For the lucky one to find."

What do you take me for?
I've won a stupid poem?!

It was my great-great-grandfather's.

That poem holds the key to treasure
right here in Sainte Victoire.

Liar!
It's true.

I've just never
been able to find it.

But it's here, I promise.

Think you can make a fool out of me,
Gabriella?!

Quick, get help!

Hide the winnings, I'll be back.

Help will be here soon.

God, that could strip paint!

Got to get better
at the old French coffee thing.

Hm?

Who the hell
has a landline these days?

Where are you?

Oh, er...

Ah, yeah.

Bonjour, La Couronne.

Patrick speaking.
How can I help you?

'Hello, Patrick.
Heard you were back.

'I think you have something of mine.

'I want my winnings.'

You not gonna answer that?

Oh, sales call.

I tried blocking it,
but they keep getting through.

Penny for 'em.

I'm not sure they're worth
that much, but thanks.

That's, uh,
that's a compliment, you know.

Yeah.
Mm.

Translated from the 16th century.

It means
a wise man has fallen silent,

and in order to garner his wisdom,
money is offered.

Are you calling me wise?
I might be.

Thanks.
Well, you're very wise

if Uncle Patrick's Cumberland
sausages live up to your hype.

Hey, hey, keep your voice down.

He's only doing a full English
for a select few.

I'm very honoured.

Come on.

I've got one day off from the shop,
and I'm determined to enjoy it.

A bit early for that, isn't it?
Mm.

Thank God you're here.
Why? What's wrong?

Quick, I need your help.

Something's happened,
and I'm scared out of my wits.

Oh.

All right, well, how can we help?

Well...

you remember when I helped you and
Georgina move into your first house?

Yeah, about 19...


was top of the album charts.

Yeah, you bought two copies -
one for me and one for you.

Exactly. Well, when I was here,
there was a card game in this pub,

and a woman was knocked unconscious,
and she never woke up.

Yeah, I remember that.
It was all over the local papers.

Well, I actually witnessed it.

Wow.

You never told me you were there.

Of course I didn't.
I'd only just got out of nick

for the first time,
I didn't want you thinking

I was wrapped up
in something bad again,

and I'd only just helped
move you in.

So I made a statement,

and I identified the bloke
who did it

as Sonny Montario, who...

..was a local gangster.

Oh.

You identified a local gangster?

It was in the line-up. I didn't know
that he was a gangster at the time.

I thought it was just a friendly,
after-hours card game.

So, what happened at the game?

He was full of booze,
thought she was cheating him,

and the red mist fell,

and he pushed her and cracked
her skull on the way down.

Oh, what a charmer [!]

It gets worse.

She was pregnant.

And they both died.

Oh. That's awful.

The judge threw the book at him.

He went down for it, big time.

They don't mess about over here.

That must have been the day
I couldn't find you.

So you weren't on a day trip
to Lourdes after all.

So, why are you so scared?

I hid something for Sonny.

Wants it back.

We'll take three dozen
if you can drop the price by 10%.

'OK.'

Fantastic. Email me on dispatch.

'Of course.'
Thank you.

I'm so proud of you,
Mrs Lloyd James.

Love little me.

I find your corporate speak
very attractive, my darling.

Who knew it was this easy
to run a pub?

I'm surprising myself with my talent
to delegate all the work.

While I get all the pleasure [!]

Oh, I think you'll find

that WE get all the pleasure.

Oh!

Darling.
Mm.

So just when he was leaving,
Sonny made me hide his winnings.

What did he win?

Money and an envelope
that Gabriella put down as a stake.

I remember tossing it
in one of those big stone jars.

I can't believe they're still here.

I can. You ever tried to move
one of those stone jars?

Celine asked me to move one,
but nearly put me back out.

Wow. Not seen banknotes
like that since...



They're worthless now.

Well, it's parchment,

and I'd say circa...



The woman who died said it was key

to a fortune
that was hidden in Sainte Victoire.

May I?
Course.

"Behind the window without a view,

"In the dark, we survive,

"Safe forever
In the Sainte Victoire stone

"For the lucky one to find."

And it's dated 1814.

And the initials are UD.

I often thought
about the old hidden treasure,

but I reckoned it was just nonsense.

I thought I'd come back
and have a look for it sometime,

just out of curiosity, but...

..I thought I have all the time
in the world.

What do you mean?
You're not ill, are you?

No. Not that.

Sonny phoned this morning -
from prison.

What?
How did he know you were back?

Word gets around easy, doesn't it?

He thinks that I found the treasure

and I've held on to it
for all these years.

And of course, you haven't.

No, I have not, thank you.

All right, just checking.

Please, I'm begging you,

you've got to help me find
that treasure if it still exists.

Sonny Montario
is not a man to be messed with.

What do you think he's gonna do?

He's just spent 28 years in prison
for double homicide.

What do you think?

Oh!

Right.

What can I get you?

Patrick, I have fabulous news.

I have just ordered


for the French fries.

Pardon?

Novelty serving dishes are all
the rage in the best gastro pubs.

I'm not sure that would be
very popular with the locals.

French fries in French hats.

What could be more local?

You're the boss.

Now, how about a buy one,
get one free on the full English?

But would there be the demand?



Of course there would be.

It's only cos
they can't get it usually.

And who doesn't like a full English?

Oh, she's an entrepreneurial
whizz-kid, isn't she?

Erm, hi. We'll be outside.

Okey dokey.

Large one.

Merci.
Merci.

You know, my Uncle Mick once got
raided for cooking a full English.

What?

Well, he told his mam,
me auntie Doris,

that he was making hash browns,
and she misunderstood

and called the drug squad.

That is not true.
I swear.

You go and ask Uncle Patrick,
he'll tell you.

Read me that again.

"Behind the window without a view,

"In the dark, we survive..."

What's all that about?

Go on, pass it over here.

And what is this date and...

..what do those initials mean?

That spam? Again?

Yeah.

Oh, don't get any quieter, do they?

Of course.

"A window without a view."

Stained glass,
safe in the Sainte Victoire stone.

We need to talk to the priest.

I just think the bottles would look
prettier in alphabetical order.

It's a lot of work for little gain.

Everything's great as it is.

Honestly, I'm fine on my own.

I've run pubs
twice the size of this.

We will just help out
before the afternoon shift arrives.

We've got an appointment
later anyway.

Oh, no, darling, not like that.
Like this.

Argh!
Oh!

I'll get the mop!

- Bonjour, La Couronne.
- 'Hello, Patrick.

'Just a gentle reminder.'

It's personal.
I'll take it out there.

Sonny,
I haven't got your treasure.

I have nothing for you.

'Now, now, Patrick.'

An hour earlier, and I would
not have answered the door.

Sorry?

Judge Judy, love her.

You have a beautiful church here.

It's not mine.

Strictly speaking...
Oh, God.

Exactly.
Sorry.

Er, I meant as in his house.
I wasn't being blasphemous.

Oh, is he always like this?

Yeah. Yeah, he is. Yeah.

So, how can I help?

Well... we think something
was hidden here years ago.

Sounds mysterious.

Hidden treasure.
Oh! I'm in.

We were wondering
if we could look at

some of your stained glass windows
for clues?

Of course you can.

They are quite beautiful.

There are quite a few.
Take your time.

Forgive me
for being a little forward,

but you seem like you have

the weight of the world
on your shoulders?

Erm, what makes you say that?

They say that the eyes
are the windows to the soul.

And yours... seem worried.

Sorry, I'm not very religious.

What has that got to do
with anything?

Well, you're a priest.

But I'm also human.

Jean!

Over here.

Look.

Ah the Lamb of God window.

This one was handmade
in the early 1800s.

Oh, the letter. 1814.

Found it in the ventilator.

Ah, French mother of pearl
rosary beads.

Yeah. 1800s.
How much is it worth?

Don't get excited, Dom.

This is not our treasure.

You won't even get 50 euros
for these.

They may be worthless to you,
but they are precious to me.

These are the rosary beads
my mother gave to me

when I became a novice priest
over 30 years ago.

Oh!

When I came here three years ago,
the windows were filthy,

so I took upon cleaning them myself.

I must have lost him here.

My mother... passed away last week.

He really does work
in mysterious ways, doesn't he?

Thank you.

If you'll excuse me.

Dominic?

Yeah?
If you need to talk,

you know where I am.

Right.

What was all that about?

No idea.

Maybe he wants to recruit me.

Are you all right, Dom?

You seem a bit distracted.

I'm fine.

You know you can talk to me,
don't you?

If there's anything wrong.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course I do.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm just, erm...

I'm just a bit worried
about Uncle Patrick, you know?

Are you sure?
Yeah.

Come on. You know
I can't get too comfy in a church.

Any luck?
Dead end, unfortunately.

But we're not giving up just yet.

Sonny called again.

What?

Look, I know you're scared,
but you've got to go to the police.

Couronne will be able to help.

I can't be any more terrified
than I already am.

I'll pop round to the station now.

Good idea.

I'm just nipping out.

Hey. Hey!

What did you always tell me to do
when I was a kid?

Always face your snarling dogs.

Exactly.

Yeah, I'm just gonna pop outside
and take this.

What's he being so furtive about?

I don't know.

His head's been somewhere else
all morning.

Hey.
Yeah, yeah, I remember the test.

Inconclusive?

What... What does that mean?

Immediately?

Yeah, erm...

Yeah, I'll come over right now.

I am genuinely in fear for my life.

Sonny Montario is after me
for treasure I don't even have.

I think I need
some sort of police protection.

Has Monsieur Montario
made any contact with you

in all the years
he has been in prison?

Course he hasn't.
He's been waiting.

Waiting for his moment of revenge.

He's probably been planning this
for years.

Monsieur Montario will be


You're never too past it
to use a g*n.

You've got to help me.

He has an exemplary prison record.

I hardly think he's going
to quietly serve his time,

then attack someone
the minute he gets out.

I've told you, he's phoned the pub
to threaten me twice.

Look,
Sainte Victoire is a small town.

We will be able
to keep tabs on Monsieur Montario.

Please, don't worry.

Hey, erm,
I've just had a fare come in,

so I'll catch you later, OK?
OK, love.

"Hiya, Glo. How are you, mate?"

Sorry. Hiya, Glo. How are you, mate?

Clearly better than you.
What's wrong?

What do you mean?
Come on, Dom.

No, I'm... I'm just a bit annoyed,
cos it's an account job,

so I won't actually see any money
till the end of the month and...

Right.
Yes. Anyway, I'll see you later.

I was gonna say,
you're looking smart.

Where are you off to?
Bank meeting.

Is everything all right?
Finance for a new van.

Oh, I love your little van.

So do I,
but I have to move with the times.

It's so old,

the emissions it bellows out
aren't good for the environment.

Not to mention,
I have to pay 10% more tax now

because of the age of it.

Of course.

Tax.
You all right, love?

Tax.

Window tax.

Blocked up windows.

The window without a view.

Gloria, could you give me a lift
to the library?

There's something
I need to check out.

Course.

I'll need to inhale
a cappuccino first.

I hate banks.

Good luck with the bank, love.
Thanks.

I'm popping back to the pub

for a taste testing session
with Jeremy and Judith afterwards.

Celebration or consolation?

Celebration, hopefully.
Let me know if you need a lift back.

I will do, thank you.
Welcome! Bye.

Bonjour.

Oh, merci bien.
Vous avez du l'achetee a Paris.

Je veux dire, Sainte Victoire
est magnifique a bien des egards,

mais parfois, j'ai l'impression
que c'est l'endroit

ou la mode s'est eteinte.

Oh, I'm so sorry.
My French isn't very good.

Do you mind if we speak in English?

Of course not, I said,
you must have bought that in Paris.

I mean, Sainte Victoire
is beautiful in many ways,

but sometimes, I feel like it's
the place where fashion went to die.

No, I did buy this
in Sainte Victoire, actually.

Then you clearly have better
shopping skills than I do.

I'm Jean. We spoke on the phone.

Je suis Suzanne.
I am the senior archivist here.

Oh, lucky you
working in a place like this.

I love a library.

Surrounded with thoughts,

just as they were
the day they were captured on paper.

Sorry?

My flamboyant description of a
library when I was eight years old.

Oh!

I started to gather the information
you mentioned on the phone.

Oh, thank you.

Before I start looking, could you
refresh me on the window tax?

Of course.
It was a tax on windows in Europe.

But it started in England?
Yes.

It would seem that the government
back then had taxed everything else.

So now they thought
they would tax your right to light.

So corrupt.

You know,
it was another way to tax the rich.

If you had
over a certain amount of windows,

you would have to pay a tax.

So what happened?

People got inventive,

and they bricked or boarded
some of their windows up.

Here are some of the houses that
are affected in Sainte Victoire.

Oh, thank you.
I'll go and get all the rest now.

Thank you. That's great.

And you might want to wear these.

Oh, it's all right, love.
I've, erm...

I brought my own.

Oh! Hello, Dominic.
Fancy seeing you here.

Hey, Jeremy.

How long have you got?

Sorry?
To live.

Nothing serious.

Oh, no, no, no. Just coming to check
up on the old adenoids, you know?

What are you in for?

Well, erm, it's been...

No hand-cream facilities
in the ladies.

It's just appalling.

Oh. Hello, Dominic.

Hiya, Judith.

Have you had your eyelashes dyed,
Dominic?

Pardon?

My eyes puff up like that
when I get my lashes dyed.

Er... No, no. Not... Not dyed, no.

Well, you need to increase
your beauty sleep.

Right.

Or should I say handsome sleep?

No, I was just asking Jeremy
what he was here for.

Well...
Well, he's got this ghastly skin tag

that I simply can't bear looking at
any more.

It has to go.

When we were young,
she named it Wilbur.

Yes, but now that the damn thing
has started to growl at me,

it's got to go.

So no more Thursdays for me
until Wilbur's left the building,

if you know what I mean, Dominic.

Not... Not really, no.

Mr Lloyd James.
Oh!

Thursday nights, here we come. Ha!

Ha-ha!

It's from the machine,
so the temperature is a little cool.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, it was ages
since I've had one of these.

So, how are you getting on?

Well, I found out that there's
hardly any houses in Sainte Victoire

that did have the window tax,
cos it was a poor, rural area.

And the ones that were taxed
were built after 1814.

Tres bien.
You should be a detective, huh?

But there's one address
that's really confusing.

Which one?

Well, this huge house
DID have the window tax,

but the records must be wrong,

because I know
it's not a huge house.

How can you be so sure?

Well, it's actually the address
of my own cottage.

It... Can you just wait
for a second?

Yeah, course.

As you know,

due to the hereditary nature
of your father's illness

and unfortunate early death,

we have to test you
for this condition every year.

Of course.

We found something in the results

that will need another,
more intense blood test.

What?

We don't want you
to be concerned just yet.

Just yet.

So I will be taking some more blood
today, Monsieur Hayes.

I think I know
where the discrepancy is.

Oh.

Your house was once part
of a much larger dwelling.

Really?
Yes.

But it was bombed in the w*r,
and only a small part survived,

and that must be your cottage.

And it paid the window tax?

Absolutely.

Ah, that is amazing.
Mm.

Can I take some photos of this map?
Of course.

That was quick.
Get in here, now.

This is so exciting.
Oh!

Look at this!

Er... Er...

Jean, there's something
I need to talk to you about.

Yeah, course, in a bit,
but you are not gonna believe this.

So, window without a view.

Safe in the Sainte Victoire Stone.

It's in my house! Look!

Oh, wow. That's amazing.
I know!

I don't understand.

Oh, sorry. Follow me.

Ta-da!

Look. It's a window without a view.

Amazing!
Yeah.

And now, the stone in the sill is...

is a little bit...
a little bit wobbly,

but I can't lift it.

I need your help.
Yeah, sure.

Oh! What's that?
Treasure?

Let's find out. Oh.

Oh, it's in French.
You'll have to read it for me.

What is it? Deeds to a house?
Ancient stocks and shares?

Patrick's gonna be relieved,
isn't he?

Dom, what is it?

I'm just gonna come
straight out with it.

What does he say?

It's an official
French wedding certificate...

..between...

Rory and Barbara.

Oh, so...

Barbara was telling the truth
all along.

My husband really WAS married
to another woman.

And I thought that
was the ramblings of a mad thing.

Oh.

My dearly departed husband.

He's really the gift
that keeps giving, isn't he?

This... must be quite a shock.

It's ancient history.

Sorry, Dom. Erm...
What did you wanna talk about?

Oh. It's... It's nothing.

Come here.

Hello, Patrick. Long time no see.

Patrick!

Back off, Sonny!
Hold on a minute.

Don't come any closer.

Put that down.
I'm warning you. Back off!

I don't have your treasure.

Nobody move.
Oh, thank, God, Caron.

This is Sonny Montario.
I told you he was out to get me.

Put the knife down, Patrick.
Please, you've got it all wrong.

Put your hands against the wall,
Monsieur Montario.

Please, I don't want to hurt you.

Oh, yeah, now the police are here.

Look, Patrick, listen to me.

If you don't wanna hurt me, then
why the threatening phone calls?

I wanted to let you know
I was on my way.

I don't want to hurt you.
Anything but!

I need to find forgiveness.

Daddy?

I don't understand.

I've been behind bars for 28 years.

Hmm.

And whose fault is that?

Mine.

Most definitely all mine.

There's not a day goes by
that I don't think of her.

Of them.

How old that child that I k*lled...

..would be.

She died in my arms.

I've thought about that night
so many times,

trying to work out a way
that I could make it right somehow.

And I decided that if Gabriela
was telling the truth that night...

..if there was even the slightest
chance of me finding the treasure,

then maybe,
I could find a way to help.

Somehow repay her and her family
for what I'd done.

My family have investigated
the poem.

You've got the poem?
Yes.

And they found nothing.

Where are you staying?

The hostel under the shop.

Can I give you a lift?
Thank you.

I'm not ready to join you
just yet, Dad.

Hello.
Oh, I know you.

Are you in the middle of something?

Ah, just a Google. It can wait.

Eh.

We assume revenge, and all Sonny
wanted was forgiveness.

Yeah. Mad, innit? Like The Sopranos.

What do you mean?

Well,
gangsters and their consciences.

Oh, yeah.

Well, this thing has got me stumped.

Finally met my match.

Mm. As long as Uncle Patrick's
safe, I don't really care.

Mm-hm.

I have never tasted better bacon
than that.

Pamela.

Pardon? That's the name
of the pig you've just eaten.

Right.

Yes, we use all local produce now.

The farmer insists
on introducing us personally

to the animals that are going to
provide our ingredients.

So you looked Pamela in the eyes?
Yes.

And we promised her she'd be enjoyed
right down to the last slice,

didn't we, darling?
Indeed we did.

I bet she was delighted [!]

Zero carbon footprint.
Incredibly important.

And we've stopped ordering
from Fortnum and Mason

because of the air miles.

All this sustainability stuff
is nothing new to us, really.

Well, for people my age,
it's actually just common sense.

When I was a girl, all we did was
recycle hardware, bottles, clothes.

In fact,
I wore my older sister's clothes

until I went to work in London.

And then we all made
our own outfits.

Some things go full circle, I guess.

Some, but not all.

We have never bought tap water
in plastic bottles.

I've never understood it.
Utterly absurd.

My grandma used to call
tap water "corporation pop".

We'd fill up empty pop bottles,

and when we were playing grown-ups,
pretend it was gin.

So you didn't actually have any gin?

I was ten, Judith.

Aw, poor you.

Thank you.

Hello, Sonny.

Look, I'm on my way to the ferry.

I'm moving in with my brother
back in Scotland.

But I wanted to say sorry again.

You had us worried there for a bit.

I really am very sorry.
I should have written first.

I didn't mean to cause any trouble.
Well, any more than I already have.

Well, I'm sorry
I couldn't find your treasure.

Well, thank you for trying.

Gabriella.

You served your time.

You have to move on.

Do you mind?

Could I take one more look
at that poem, please?

Of course.

No, it's got me beat.

You better get Jean a large one.

What do you mean?
Words she's never said before.

Might stick in her throat.

There's a first time for everything.

Oh, my God.

What is it? Spiders.
Are they in me hair?

No, no. Look.

A window without a view.

Patrick, get us a ladder.

What's going on?

Jean thinks
she's found some treasure.

Oh, hey!
What the... Treasure?

You go up. You're taller than me.

How does that work?
Sure to fall.

You got it?

All right, you got it? You got it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm with you, I'm with you.
You got it?

Oh, er...

OK.

There's something in here.

Oh, it's... it's heavy.

Oh!

All right, coming down.
OK.

There you are.

It's, er... very old brandy.

Oh, my God.

This is the treasure.

What, a crate of old brandy?

"Undaunted". Look.

Undaunted was the ship that
conveyed Napoleon to his first exile

on the Isle of Elba in 1814.

This brandy...
it must be from that ship.


Yeah.

Some cheeky shipmate must
have helped himself to a crate

of Napoleon's favourite tipple.

And, well, it got too hot to handle,

and he hid it here
in Sainte Victoire.

It must have been Gabriella's
great-great-grandfather.

Yeah!
Erm... what's it worth?

Oh, I'd say
at least 200,000 euro a bottle.

Wow! But we have...

A crate of six!

Well, I'll have to get it
authenticated, but if I'm right,

well, the sky's the limit.

Well, I think this is a cause
for a celebration.

Absolutely.

Champagne!
Prosecco!

Prosecco.

Ah, Buck's fizz!

Marvellous, there we go.

And there you go.
Yes, you have one.

I'll get me own.

- Cheers, everyone.
- Cheers!

Congratulations!
Absolutely...

Imagine!

I was just saying...

It is actually Prosecco.
It's our best Prosecco.

Cheers, darling.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
just tell me straight.

Thank you.

Jean. Jean.
Can I have a quick word outside?

Yeah, course.

What's the matter?

You know I was trying to talk to
you about something the other day?

And I interrupted you.
Yeah.

Yeah, I'm sorry about that.

Just stop interrupting for a sec.
Oh, r-right, right.

Right.

Cut a long story short.

My dad died when I was little.

Of a disease
that I always knew was hereditary.

So I've had my yearly test, and...

I've just got the results.

Oh, Dom.

Jean...

I'm fine, it's all clear.

Really?

Yeah.

Well...

It's made me realise
I don't want to waste any more time.

Yeah, of course.

You are a great friend.

But you are
so much more than that to me.

Always have been.

Jean...

..you are one of the best things
that's ever happened to me.

I want nothing more
than for us to be together.

I mean, I mean, if you want to.

Of course I want to.

Yeah?