- Welcome one and all to
another exciting episode of,
"a crown of candy."
I'm your humble dungeon
master, brennan lee mulligan.
With me as always are our intrepid heroes.
Say hi, intrepid heroes.
- Hi, little dot.
Hi, intrepid heroes!
- We're feeling silly today.
- You can't drop an inside joke
From before the cameras were rolling.
- Zac is little dot now.
- Zac had a little something in his tea.
- The most ally move of all time
To be like, you know what's
gonna make you feel included.
Here's something.
- Me saying, little dot.
- We're bullying zac and
it's fun, get on board.
- Get on board, guys, last we
left our intrepid heroes off
They were in transit.
- Yeah, whatever.
- We were in transit.
- Yeah.
- Emily's having a melt down.
- Oo, doctor!
All right, this is episode 13?
- 39.
- Episode 13.
Our heroes arrive.
In a flash of light appearing.
We gotta reign it in!
Back at the order of the spinning star
At the teleportation chamber.
The chamber is filled with.
- I'm sorry.
- I mean, it's.
- I'm really trying.
- It's incredible.
We are professionals.
You arrive back at the
order of the spinning star.
As you arrive, townsfolk
are shocked and flee
And begin to thank you guys.
Some of them are weeping, crying.
Spearia mentha is here
with joren jawbreaker,
Who's on the floor next to liam.
Lying down, still with the fresh marks
Of the gallows noose around his neck.
The rest of you are here
having just dived in
At the last possible
moment before caramelinda
Returned you all to the monastery.
As the people spill out,
monks of the spinning star
Begin to shepard people to the infirmary,
And places where wounds can be tended to.
People that were maybe
attacked or jostled or hurt
By the ceresian soldiers.
And you guys are carrying,
Well swifty and gooey are carrying
A load of magical weaponry.
You have a book filled with letters
From the archbishop oliver onionpatch.
Filled with alchemical notes
from the primogen alfredi
As well as personal correspondences
Of the archbishop.
Ruby, you are carrying troop movements,
Supply lines, maps of the ceresian forces.
And a tremendous amount of correspondences
To keradin deeproot
concerning inter-Army chatter
Between the forces of the church here
And the ceresian military.
And of course, you have
rescued both joren jawbreaker
And his wife, spearia mentha.
What do you guys do?
- Is snickersnack around?
- Yeah.
- Snickersnack.
- You see he goes, there
are more people here
Than there have been in sometime.
- Yes.
- I don't know if we have enough towels.
- We will find towels.
- We will find towels.
He looks at someone and you see that
Another monk bows, centers himself,
And leaps into the sky, woo.
- Fly off.
- I just whisper to somebody,
I bet you he's off to find
something really cool.
- Is there, i just wanna
make sure that the...
Do we know?
Do we feel like they
will be able to operate
These runes in anyway?
I wanna secure how safe this.
- Give me either arcana or religion.
- Again?
I am zero for zero.
Wait, religion i'm four.
I'll do religion.
Yeah.
A 12.
- You believe that it is possible.
They would need somebody who was a member
Of the sweetening path there.
It's possible.
What they would need would be a druid
Of the sweetening path or a
witch of the sweetening path
To know how to operate that rune circle
To potentially get here.
That would probably be a, i don't know,
Like a fifth or sixth level spell.
So they would need some.
It couldn't even just
be like, a random patch.
- Is susperia around?
- Spearia's here with you.
- Spearia, excuse me.
- And also, they would,
even with the ability
To teleport somewhere, they would need
To know where you were going.
- Okay, so we feel—
- Yeah, there's really.
Is there anyway to close
the teleportation circle?
Or?
- Can i make a check on that?
- Yeah, give me a religion check.
- Can i do a check?
- Yeah, you can do arcana.
- Saccharina, would you
know if there's a way to?
- I got a 23.
- I got an 11.
- This thing, as i've said before,
Is a little bit wonky.
One of the stone circles,
One of the concentric stone circles
That moves in the candy stone of the floor
Can be lifted up out of
the teleportation room
And just removed from here.
It's a little risky because it means
That you might not be able to
place it back in correctly.
But it effectively makes this room
Impossible to arrive at.
- So that means that,
If we had to leave here
it might impede our exit.
To try to put that back as well.
- Okay.
- Well, where are we gonna go right now?
- We don't know.
- Maybe we should ask one of your parents
If there's anybody from candia
that could work with them.
Because they'd have to,
They'd need somebody of the candian.
- Yeah, is spearia?
- You see that joren is being fed.
You see that spearia
is holding out her hand
And just from the leaves of her wrist,
This like sweet, green like juice
Is trickling into joren's mouth.
She goes, there, there.
This is healing.
It's healing you.
And he goes, arr, i like
to drink that wrist milk.
- Beautiful.
- This explains so much.
- You see, you go up.
And for the first time,
spearia gets up and she goes,
As the beloved of joren jawbreaker
And a priestess of the sweetening path,
I extend to you our most sincere thanks.
We will never be able to
repay what you've done for us.
My sweet boy.
And you see she comes over
And gives you a kiss on the cheek.
- Mm.
- She looks at you, looks into your eyes,
Looks around the room
and looks back and says,
Oh, liam, i'm so sorry.
- Preston.
- She gives you a hug
and it's this warm leaf.
It's like a perfect hug.
You can tell that she
locks in and you're like,
This is gonna be a three
to five minute hug.
We're like in this for
the next chunk of time.
Just like, pat, pat, very still, pat.
Pat, pat.
Pat, pat, pat.
And honestly, it heals your soul.
- Great.
- This is like an a plus mom hug.
- I have never had a hug
like that from either
Of my parents but especially my mom.
- Ha, ha.
You see standing up and
getting to his feet,
Colossal jawbreaker mace at his side,
Is the duke joren.
Hey there, kid.
And he comes over to you, amethar,
And clasps you in an embrace.
- Hey, what's up, unc?
- Ugh, all right, been better.
Sir gumbar.
- Good to see you, duke jawbreaker.
- Yeah, i'm seeing some of the folks
From back in the day.
- It's been many years.
- Yeah, you're um, you're
one of lazuli's friends.
- Yes.
- Are you um, what is it, you're a robot?
- Am i a?
- You're a golem?
You make, you're a spell?
- No, i'm.
- He's our cousin.
- He's just a person.
- Right, right, sorry!
That's right.
- What is a robot?
- You're ah, you know.
I thought you were a fake man.
You know, magic man?
- No, i wish.
- Dad, were you asking if he's a robot?
- Hm?
- Did you just ask a human
if they were a robot?
- You know, he's got those
eyes, anyway, the um...
- I'm sorry.
- Cloud!
A cloud!
- Cumulous.
- Cleamyours, cumular.
The important thing is.
They tried to k*ll my a*s.
- That is a important thing, yes.
- Yeah, and we're gonna get 'em.
- Mm.
- We're gonna get 'em.
- Right, duke jawbreaker,
In your esteemed opinion is there anyone
That attacked you that would be capable
Of teleporting troops here?
- Do you know of any druids?
- Yeah.
- That would work with them?
- My wife.
- Under duress.
- Spearia, yeah, spearia.
She could do that, probably.
What is it?
- She's here.
- Okay, great.
- Right, you were drinking her wrist milk.
- Do you wanna lay down?
- Spearia!
- Lay down maybe.
- Yeah, let's talk to spearia.
Mom?
- I'm gonna be outta this
hug in another minute or two.
- Okay.
- Could we talk to you during the hug?
- If you get in this hug.
- Theo, i don't know.
- I get in the hug.
Are there any other?
- Clang, clang, clang.
- I'm just in the middle.
- Clang, clang, clang.
- Are there druids of your circle
Who might work with the ceresians
Or the empire under duress
and put this place in danger?
- In buzzybrook? No.
I do not think there are any
That know of secrets that powerful.
There are many still
that keep the old ways
Of the sweetening path, but none
That have treaded so diligently or with
The blessing of such powerful spirits
That they would be able to transport
Here to the monastery.
- So are you saying that maybe
Somewhere else there would be?
- Potentially.
- The sugar-Plum fairy, right?
- But the sugar-Plum fairy's
on our side, i thought.
- I thought she wasn't.
- Not necessarily.
- She's absolutely not on,
Well, i don't know what your side is.
She's absolutely not on the
side of magic being freed.
- So she would probably
work with the church
To suppress magic.
- The sugar-Plum fairy is not,
The sugar-Plum fairy derives
her power from the bulb
And yes, she has.
- She derives her power from the bulb?
- Then why is the sugar-Plum
fairy banned by the bulb?
- Because what better
way to distract people?
The sugar-Plum fairy is
sort of like a folk deity.
And so, the bulb does not
wish for various counties
And estates to have their
own access to power.
They wish to consolidate the power
And be the sole source of power.
- It sounds like a
conspiracy theory to me.
- Your aunt lazuli
believed something similar.
- Yeah, i gotta be honest, ruby.
Just, you can walk away.
I don't.
- Well, maybe i will!
I walk away.
- You see spearia looks
over and goes, mm, okay.
Okay.
- Huh?
- You're half sisters and you
just met in the past week.
You're half sisters.
- Did you just intuit that?
- I'm an empath.
- I think it's a little
more complicated than that.
- You're like a witch
queen from the dairy sea?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
She's, i don't know, some
kind of shadow sorceress?
- Mm-Hm. Mm-Hm.
- Yeah, it's hard. That's hard.
- That's crazy that you knew that, mom.
That's really cool.
- Well, yeah.
- Rubs your cheek.
Wow.
Well, it seems that we have finally met
Saccharina frostwhip.
From one witch to another,
may i just say that
The power of the spirits
of the world in me
Recognize the power of the
spirits of the world in you.
And...
- Thank you, and the power
of the spirits of the world
In me also recognize the power
In the spirits of you.
Did i do it right?
- It's impossible to do it wrong.
- The power of the spirits.
In me.
Recognize the power.
- I think we should all hold
hands while this is happening.
- I'm gonna go chase my daughter down.
You all can stay in this.
- I'm gonna stand at a distance between
Those two situations.
- What two situations?
- Him chasing down his
daughters and the group hug.
- Liam, i'm gonna finish up
the hug now, sweetie, okay?
- Oh, okay. Cool.
- She taps your arms.
She looks over to you,
saccharina and says.
Saccharina.
- Mm.
- I'd like to ask your
permission for something.
- I mean, of course, anything.
- Can i lightly touch
your forehead and hum?
- Um, yeah, okay.
- She takes these little
green thin fingers,
Holds them to your head and just goes.
- Is this a sound bath?
- Always.
- Okay.
Very cool.
Let me change into my yoga pants.
- She goes, wow.
There is a storm within you.
- Yeah.
- And thus there is a
storm within the world.
This monastery needs to be saged from
The very bottom of the basement
All the way up to the top.
It may take days, it may take weeks.
But i'm gonna get that started right now.
- I'm on it, mom.
And i have like a bunch of sage
That i'm rolling that's dried.
- Can we look at these magical weapons?
- Yeah, absolutely.
You guys take a look.
- Cumulous' favorite thing.
- Look, i cannot help it.
As a monk of my faith i do
not long for possessions.
- You see that swifty is standing
On a little pile of them and says,
Hey, yeah if you wanna buy one, go for it!
- Come on.
- Come on what?
- Come on, swifty.
- Can i just look at what you got?
- Oh, you got them outta the building?
- I was—
- They're yours? You're
standing on the pile of them?
- Swifty, i dispatched you to get them.
Now i order you to let
cumulous play with them.
- I'm gonna rip your nuts off.
- You better try.
- You see swifty, pew,
he tears outta there.
And you may hold as many of
these weapons as you like.
- Cool.
- Could i just make an insight?
- Yeah, go ahead and
make an insight check.
- Eh, 10.
- Um, you.
- Oh no, 17.
- Oh 17, damn.
You garner from a lot of these weapons
That they are magical, which is great.
None of them look like high artifacts.
These were after all, culled
from a remote mountain village
In the great stone candy mountains.
So a lot of these are probably taken
From like barrows, or burial places,
And stuff like that.
And in game mechanical terms,
A lot of them would probably
be like plus one to attack
And damage with no
additional magical powers.
- Cool.
- So better for like troops than us?
- Yes, correct, yeah, absolutely.
You see that joren
jawbreaker walks after you,
Amethar, as you leave.
And i think theo, you
were going with amethar?
- Yeah, i'll follow that king for now.
- You go over, you see that joren goes,
Ugh, all right, well.
First off, i'm glad you're alive.
I don't know how the
hell you made it here.
- Me neither, ha, ha.
- Ha ha, all right, so people tell me i'm
The king of candia, is that true?
- It was.
You were king for like two weeks.
- Uh-Huh.
- But not anymore.
- Who's king now?
- My daughter.
Saccharina.
- That's true?
What they're saying, the marauders?
- Yeah.
- Well, sh*t.
I guess that's better
than me being king, huh?
- I mean, f*cking leaving castle manylicks
Was dumb as hell.
- They were torching the villages!
- Oh, come on!
- I had to get outta there!
- Come on, unc.
- Look, i got chinseeker here,
And he's hungry for chins.
- Come on, i mean, hey,
if there's anything
I've learned in the past couple of weeks.
It's, i don't know,
sometimes you gotta know
The smart thing from the other things
That you wanna do.
- What the hell?
You sound like your damn dad.
- No, all right.
I'm not, okay, i'm not my dad.
All right, but jet's dead.
And things are different now.
- Oh, hell.
He rubs his crystal
beard on his massive jaw.
And he puts a hand on
your shoulder and goes,
I'm so sorry, amethar.
- Hey, i mean the best thing we can do now
Is just make sure we do the
smart thing and the right thing.
And right now that means
getting behind saccharina.
- She's not in open rebellion,
The crown goes to her and then.
- There you go.
- Well, we already got
ceresians and paladins
Of the church in our land.
So we're gonna have to make
a pretty big damn show of it.
Is there anyone that
can vouch if we come out
And say this is true?
Do we have any allies anywhere?
- The dairy islands are with us.
And then, i don't know,
we got some crazy gamble
That involves getting a book
that makes you tell the truth.
It belonged to my sister.
- Oh, well, that's right.
Well, sh*t, i guess if
it saves people's lives
It's the thing we gotta do.
Let's go talk to this kid of yours.
You know, if you just
followed your old unc's lead
And taken that milk maid
back to the castle with ya,
A lot of this coulda been avoided.
- Yeah, all right, well i
coulda changed a lot of things
And a lot of things would
have been different.
- Yeah, oh, i know that for sure.
And he turns to walk back into
One of the chambers of
the monastery overlooking
The clouds, cotton
candy clouds moving over
The great stone candy mountains.
Saccharina you look to see amethar
And joren approaching you.
I don't know if anyone
else is here as well,
But at least amethar and joren approach.
- Yeah, i think i was kind of like walking
At a safe distance between the two.
And i think as those two guys turn around
I just kinda wanna say to ruby.
I think we, especially in times like this,
We all need to stick together.
And then i follow amethar and jawbreaker.
- Awesome.
- I think cumulous wants to go,
It's a tower, right?
- Yeah, it's a monastery.
So it's like on the peak
of this great mountain
Made of pure, white sugar rock.
And it's like a very,
It's weird because it's
an arcane order of monks.
So it is very solemn and
austere and reflective.
But there also like runes and libraries
And places where scrolls are kept here.
And there are halls
where magical artifacts
Are being kept as well.
There's an old private laboratory
Of the archmage lazuli here
near the teleportation room.
- I want to see if we
can see if any monks here
Can help us peruse this book to see
If we can make anything,
if it can help us.
- There's a number of scholar monks here
That would be able to help
you with that, for sure.
- Do you mind if i borrow the book?
- Yeah, of course.
- Are you borrowing just
the stuff that liam has
Or ruby's stuff as well?
- Well, i kinda don't know that cumulous
Would be great at strategizing
For the w*r overall by himself,
but yeah, i mean like if—
- Well, i would love to hear about it too.
- Yeah, liam if you wanna come?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Cool, so liam and cumulous
head off to the library
With a bunch of the scholar monks here.
Joren, amethar, and
theo approach saccharina
On a balcony standing
with gooey overlooking
The great stone candy mountains
And below it to the
south, the sweeping plains
And forests of candia.
- Your majesty.
Uh, uh, uh...
- We're at your service!
- Yeah, something like that.
- We believe in your cause and we want
Peace for candia.
We want to be unashamed of who we are
And we want the spirit
of magic to roam free.
- Thank you for
Your endorsement.
I'm very aware it does
not come with enthusiasm.
But...
Today is not about my pride, so.
I am very excited
About what it will mean
for the future of magic.
I am going to go celebrate
With those who have stood by me.
I will see you another time.
- Gooey wraps your cloak
around you, saccharina,
Leaving a hand on your shoulder
And walks with you from the balcony.
Joren stands there looking out.
Well.
What the hell?
And turns to walk back into the monastery.
Ruby, you see caramelinda walks off
Into the monastery.
Manta ray jack goes to reckon
with the rest of his soldiers
And this place now has sort of the monks
Of the order of the spinning star.
You see that as, yeah, monks
of the spinning star here.
Saccharina's people are here now
And then jawbreaker and your father.
But the majority of people running around
Are manta ray's crew, the
monks of the spinning star,
And saccharina's people.
And then a smattering of
townsfolk from buzzybrook.
- I wanna talk to liam.
- Okay, awesome.
- I'm gonna go find liam in the library
And just pull him aside.
- Cool.
- What they're planning with saccharina
And making her queen.
Nobody's talked about it,
But what that means is we go back.
Even if we get some concessions with magic
We go back to the same status quo
And the people who k*lled preston
And the people who k*lled
jet get to just carry on
With their great f*cking lives.
- Mm-Hm.
- And we just have to live with it.
- I mean, i think that's true.
If it works out.
I mean, look at where
we just teleported from.
They have huge plans in motion.
- Yeah, and even if it
works out, it sucks.
We lost, my sister died.
Your best friend died.
- I'm just saying, i don't
think it'll work out.
I think we're gonna be at
w*r for a really long time.
I don't think there's any
sort of peace brokering.
I mean, look at.
We're trying to figure
out what's in these maps
And plans and stuff, but
i think we'll be able
To ice the carrot.
- Even if we make this
alliance with these people
And we just go back to how it was,
I'm not gonna let them live it down.
- No, i know.
I'm gonna ice the carrot.
- Okay.
- I'm gonna f*cking k*ll the carrot.
- And the bread, and the broccoli?
- Yeah, and we're gonna k*ll the broccoli.
- And then that onion guy?
- Oh, i k*lled the onion guy.
- You did?
- I k*lled the onion guy and i looked like
The onion guy while i did it.
- That is really cool.
- Yeah!
I can't imagine dying that way.
- You are so cool.
- Can you imagine?
I just, grief had a positive effect on me.
- You know what, i think
you're taking it really well
And i feel like i can
learn a lot from you.
- Yeah, thanks.
I will say i got the
most closure about my pig
At your sister's funeral.
And that can't be healthy.
But it was just the vibe of loss,
You know, she was way more
important than my pig.
I'm aware.
So she got a whole funeral
and i kinda hijacked it.
- No, i...
- I'm sorry.
- You don't have to apologize for.
- But the next funeral i'm at.
- Being sad about your.
- I'm gonna think about jet.
- Great, and i'll think about preston.
- Aw, thanks.
Okay, let's find out what
this carrot is up to.
- Oh yeah.
Is it on the?
Can we look at these maps?
- Yeah, you can, yeah, absolutely.
You guys can do rolls.
Snickersnack, so if you guys are looking
At the map stuff, the monks are looking
At the archbishop's stuff.
At oliver onionpatch's stuff.
- I wanna find out if there's any way.
I want to explain the bread golems
And the corn, there's the cutest
corn thing i've ever seen.
- It was so cute!
- Oh goodness, right?
- It doesn't sound from the description
Like it would be that cute.
- It was massive.
- I mean, i got pretty close to it.
- Somehow that made it cuter.
- It's like a parade balloon.
- Mm-Hm!
- That kind of a cute.
- It had metal plates on its face
And then huge claws?
- You know what i think made it cute,
Is you know when something
is so small and cute?
Someone makes it small.
- Right, but this was enormous.
- But then when you see,
It's like seeing a big teddy bear.
You're like, that's so cute.
- Are you familiar with the concept of—
- Me and all the monks and
all the townsfolk had a vote
And we all agreed it was scary.
- Oh great, just now?
- Yes.
- It's actually not a
democracy, it's a monarchy, so.
- Interesting that you get a vote—
- All right, we cut from
this scene to something else.
- Wait, wait, wait!
- Wait, i need to roll
to find out about the.
- Snicker—
- What, is this a history
check on this map?
- Yes, you guys give me either.
You can interpret the maps
with whatever skill you want,
But probably history is gonna be the best.
- Can i just do raw intelligence?
- You can do raw intelligence.
- Great.
Oh, i got a nat one.
- Can i do the check for
the stuff that i'm holding?
- Yes, go for it.
You can do a religion check if you'd like.
- Okay.
- Would nature work for this?
- Potentially, yeah, you can.
- I only got a 10.
- Troop movements and stuff,
you can do nature, yeah.
- Yeah, 14.
- 14, okay, cool.
- I only got a 10.
- You guys are having
a hard time deciphering
The stuff you have, but
there are other monks here,
People that could take a look at it.
And there's also just like, letters
And correspondences here.
- Oh, cool.
- Snickersnack comes up to you
As the monks are looking at this stuff.
And says, um...
Brother.
Did you behold the battle?
You were fighting alongside
the sea witch, yes?
- I was.
She's enormously powerful.
- Hm.
The teleportation circles,
The arcane defenses of the monastery,
Many of our oldest artifacts are worn down
If not fully broken.
Our order has been lost these
past 20 years and dwindling.
With only those of us who are elders
Still remembering the words and face
Of the archmage lazuli herself.
Do you think that this sundae sorceress
Might assume the mantle of archmage?
I've heard it said that one of her titles
Is the archmage of lost sucrosia.
Do you believe our order,
In the absence of the archmage lazuli,
Is there some chance that our order
Owes its fealty to her as candia's
Perhaps last best chance?
- I think there's a
definite chance of that.
We...
No one will be able to replace lazuli
And do what she did, but i think that,
I think that we must adapt
And this is
The brightest light i've
seen in a long time.
- You were chosen to
rescue the royal family.
You are the most elder monk
left standing of this order.
We are behind whatever
decision you would make.
But i believe that she
does represent hope.
We are behind you if you would swear
Our order to her service.
- Thank you.
- Awesome.
You guys.
So, the monks take a look
at a lot of the stuff.
The rest of that day you guys, you know,
It's like nighttime.
Are you guys gonna take
a long rest, probably?
- All right.
- Yes!
- Yeah, yeah.
- Cool.
- Should one of us stay up?
- I'm a little concerned.
I guess i wanna mention to,
I guess i go up to saccharina.
Queen saccharina.
- Yes?
- Are you at all concerned
That agents of the sugar-Plum
fairy might be working
With the bulbian church, that
we might be in danger here
Of somebody ambushing us in the night?
- In the night?
I'm not concerned at this night,
But i am concerned
That agents of the sugar-Plum fairy
Are working with the bulb.
- Okay, we don't think we need to move
Any of the teleportation?
- I'll stay up and i'll watch.
I guarantee no one can get past me.
Now go back to your family.
- You see that swifty
jumps up on the table
And says, that's right!
We're having a party.
Gooey puts another tankard of ale in front
And all these marauders
sing songs and play music.
- Oh yeah, not to mention,
they'll be up all night.
- You see that jon bon
looks over and says,
Oh, i will go and keep
watch on the monastery wall.
I have to piss.
- If anyone tries to teleport in,
They'll teleport into jon bon's piss.
It's kind of a thing we do a lot.
- We actually talk a lot.
I don't specifically do it.
Your father loves pissing
in front of people.
- Yeah.
- I piss once every four or five weeks.
- Oh, well that—
- For about six to eight hours.
- Oh, i, sorry, i was trying to find
Sort of a thing we could talk about.
- That's how i keep watch.
- He sounds like a good watchman.
- Mm-Hm, yeah, he's the best.
- It feels great if you're wondering.
- I've never.
He pee shivers the entire time.
- My goodness, right, okay.
Well, um...
- I'm only second most f*cked
up person in this crew!
- Apparently.
- Jon bon's a freak!
- I guess i'm quite hurt,
but thank you for helping us
Save the duke.
I know you have business at the temple.
I appreciate you diverting your plans.
- If you wish to show me your gratitude
You can help me at the temple.
- I nod.
- Long rest, hp maxes are restored.
The next morning you
awaken and snickersnack,
The monk, comes down with a report
From the scholar monks
that had been pouring
Over the archbishop's books,
The maps, the correspondences,
everything else.
I'm gonna tell you guys
a lot of stuff right now.
- Cool.
- I'm not gonna make you roll for this
Because you already rolled for this
In the last battle episode
when you grabbed all this sh*t.
- Cool.
- Today marks the sixth
day of harvest dawn.
The fall has begun and the
days are getting colder.
First thing you find is military movements
All throughout candia.
The south of candia, so
the lowlands of candia,
Are completely taken over
by house cruller, right.
House cruller holds castle candy.
And basically in the rogue state of candia
Flies its flag over castle candy
And the embassies and heads of state
Of fructera, vegetania,
ceresia, and the meatlands
Have all recognized house cruller.
The dairy islands have not, apparently,
According to the correspondences,
Declared a recognition of anything.
- Okay.
- They've just been silent.
You also see that the push from the south
Of the army trying to cross
the cola river fell apart.
As was predicted in lazuli's vision
That she sent to you in port syrup.
Because of a disagreement between
House uvano and the church.
Basically what's written
in these correspondences,
Because these are like
keradin's correspondences.
There's a lot of juicy sh*t in here.
There's some stuff
directly from the pontifex,
But basically plumbeline maintained
That the concord, oh sorry.
The pontifex maintained that
the concord couldn't exist
Without its constituent states.
Like everything that was
signed in the original concord
Was signed by jadain
of the house of rocks,
Amethar's father, right.
And amethar as well.
- And uvano is plumbeline, right?
- Plumbeline, yes.
So basically before they
got to the cola river,
Plumbeline withdrew her troops.
Because she was basically like,
If the church is saying
that there is no concord
Then we don't have alliance with anyone.
And it kind of fell apart.
Like, diplomatic relationships fell apart
And they sort of withdrew.
So that fell apart.
Even as cruller was
cementing his reign over
The majority of candia.
The troops that are left, therefore,
Are only like cruller's people
And some vegetanian forces
and stuff like that,
Which i'll get into in
a second, in the south.
And then the main army of house rocks
Is also in the south of the
great stone candy mountains.
They were coming on their
way to liberate jawbreaker.
And then all of duke jawbreaker's forces
Are here as well.
And then ceresian imperial forces.
Basically, the empire
didn't invade candia.
The imperial forces are like peacekeepers.
Grissini was there to capture
enemies of the concord.
Really what is happening is ceresia
Was taken over by ciabatta.
He literally left comida
after the tourney,
Went home, and apparently was able
To assassinate all of
his political enemies
With the information
he stole from alfredi.
Like, when he was robbing alfredi
He wasn't just getting
stuff to clear his name.
He was finding out who knew sh*t,
Who had dirt, and who he
needed to make moves on.
So, ceresia's invading
candia because candia
Doesn't have any alliances anymore, right?
So it's just a sitting duck.
And it lets him be imperator
By just taking over the military
And saying, we're gonna go.
I'm gonna win you guys a w*r.
And rule ceresia and be another w*r hero
And erect triumphal
arches and sh*t like that.
So there is tension
between all these people.
There's even a letter from ciabatta
That looks like it was intercepted
By one of the pontifex's spies.
Saying that there's no
lost love between fructera,
Ceresia, and holy vegetania
to be wary of each other.
And you see that the biggest thing here,
Which you get from the archbishop's notes,
Is that you're looking
at the scattered forces
That are in candia and they don't look.
It looks a little bit weird,
their placement right now.
You're trying to see like,
what's motivating this army.
Like, what's motivating the invasion?
The pontifex has called
a holy crusade on candia.
Because she has instituted
the ramsian doctrine
As official church doctrine.
So she finally made that move.
So the church's official position
Is that there is such
a thing as junk food,
As unholy people.
And so the scattered armies that are here
Are ciabatta's loyalists and then
A lot of like vegetanian
and fructeran lords
Who are just engaging in a crusade.
It's so much a nation going to w*r
As the pontifex has said, it is holy
For you to take fighting
men, go the candia
And loot and sack the place.
- Okay.
- There's literally a thing where it says,
If you can k*ll a candian
heretic your soul is saved.
If you can destroy a
candian standing stone,
You and your family's souls are saved.
Almost just like a transactional church,
Like papal bull, kind
of transactional thing.
Sir keradin has been given the title,
The mace of the faith and is leading
The crusade into candia.
The other big stuff you find here
Is that because of the
tension between ceresia,
The church, and house uvano,
a missive has gone out
From calroy cruller.
And basically what he has said is,
That he renounces his pagan ways.
That he agrees that a crusade is needed
To scourge the wicked from candia.
And that he would like
to be rebaptized into
The bulbian faith and saved.
- Wow.
- You see missives from grissini's,
Some of grissini's stuff.
That basically says,
that cruller is saying
A crusade in candia is needed
And as a result of that crusade
to save the soul of candia
Which would satisfy the pontifex's needs,
A new concord could be formed
If another nation were to conquer candia.
And if candia were to
become apart of ceresia.
And it looks like, you see another piece
Of correspondence from
ciabatta responding.
This is like another intercepted missive
Where he's basically
sent something to cruller
Being like, there could be
a very real future for you
As the governor of candia
as a province of ceresia.
So it looks like that
cruller is angling for.
And the missives between him are,
If candia were conquered a
new concord could be created
And the concordant empress,
which is the wording he uses,
Could be anyone's heir or daughter.
So it looks like calroy has basically sent
This little web out to
satisfy the pontifex's need
For a crusade to satisfy
Ciabatta's need to win a w*r
And conquer new territory.
And satisfy plumbeline's
desire to be concordant empress
In the new concord that would
be created after that w*r.
Ending up with him on the
throne of castle candy
As a ceresian governor.
You see all of this.
- I'm sharpening flicker as i read.
- You see that there is a missive
From ciabatta saying that he does not wish
To meet in the city of comida,
Nor to meet in vegetania.
After the events of the
m*ssacre at st. Arugula
Where his name in particular was spoken
By plumbeline and then
denied and said to be false.
So he basically said, i
will not come to vegetania
Or fructera.
And calroy has said, as a
land currently being occupied
Under a holy crusade, he
has opened castle candy
To a meeting between the
pontifex and the heads
Of house uvano and ciabatta
To broker a resolution.
- Whoa.
- To the conflict between
these invading forces.
- All our enemies in one place.
- How fun.
- You see that in oliver's stuff
He's got a lot of communiques
from bishops and archbishops.
Basically like objecting to
The institution of the ramsian doctrine.
Saying, this will not, like,
Both candian bishops and archbishops,
But also bishops and
archbishops of other lands.
Being like, this is not
something that we can.
Like, we, our flocks wail in anguish
At the institution of this law.
It's not like every archbishop
or bishop in the world,
But there's a significant
amount of pushback
From within the church.
Of course, that pushback
is very carefully worded
Because any of them could be k*lled
For pushing back too hard.
- Is there any in
particular, maybe in candia,
That we can...
- Yeah, i mean obviously.
There's a lot of.
There's so many, every important priest.
Obviously, lapin was the most important
Priest you knew in candia,
But like every archbishop
and bishop within candia
Is saying please don't come m*ssacre
All the f*cking people here.
And in so doing, have put
a target on themselves
To be just labeled apostate,
heretic, and k*lled.
Belizabeth has sent something to keradin.
You guys really snatched up
All that good sh*t in that fight.
Belizabeth sends, this is
actually to oliver onionpatch
Which is a private missive
in a hidden cipher.
This is not even written openly.
The hidden cipher of this
is her writing to oliver
Basically saying, i worry for this meeting
At castle candy because i do not wish
For the concord to be
reinstated so quickly
That the church cannot call a crusade
Against the meatlands
after candia is destroyed.
You see she talks again about
The archbishop raddica rutabagans.
Who was k*lled in the meatlands.
And you know, something
she mentioned off hand
Back when you guys were in comida.
And so she's talking.
She's telling oliver that if she comes
To castle candy she wants
the full crusade guard
And keradin there to protect her.
And will also be bringing
the book of saint citrina
So that she can ensure
that ciabatta and cruller
Are not working with plumbeline.
That's the politics.
This is just a big old info dump.
Oh, the money that was
in the side building
Was for paying meatlander mercenaries.
So they're getting a
contract to get meatlanders
To come in and fight for them.
- So just to clarify.
The person from the meatlands,
This is a religious bulbian
person from the meatlands
Or they were afraid of being,
The meatlands being crusaded afterwards?
- Basically, it seems
that the pontifex wants
The bulbian church to well
and truly rule this world.
And that candia represented
a obstacle to that,
But also the meatlands.
- Right.
- Who are sort of openly pagan.
And her archbishop was
k*lled in the meatlands.
So she's basically saying like,
The reason i'm f*cking with plumbeline
And not just recognizing her as
The new concordant empress
is because i don't want
The concord to exist so that i can,
She wants the concord to crumble
At least long enough to
eradicate the meatlands.
- Got it, okay.
So that's potential allies there.
- That's the politics stuff.
Looking at oliver's alchemical notes,
They still can't crack
how to make watersteel.
It looks like alfredi
had some hidden knowledge
That she sort of died with.
Even with their schematics
they can't figure out
How to make watersteel.
But they certainly
figured out how to animate
These, there were like
old ceresian statues.
They figured out how to
alchemically animate,
Looking into alfredi's notes.
And so you see there's
a ton of stuff there.
There's also a lot of her notes coming
From a section of the
bulbian church called
The sanctus putris.
Which is an order of the church
That did not subscribe to
the prophidian heresy at all,
And is not, it looks
like they are not about
The ramsian doctrine and
causing the apocalypse.
But sanctus putris basically felt that
To keep the hungry one at bay,
It was necessary to have a certain amount
Of rot in the world.
To have mold and putrescence
in the world enough
That the hungry one could not devour it.
You also find notes there
That say, the correspondence between
The archbishop oliver onionpatch
And the sanctus putris
saying the sanctus putris
Has located the home
And high temple of the sugar-Plum fairy.
And have found the ice cream temple.
The date they give, they
say that their expedition
Should arrive there the morning of
Harvest dawn, the seventh.
And it is harvest dawn the sixth.
- It's tomorrow?
- Tomorrow, the sixth.
Let me see if there's anything.
- Whoa.
Certainly can't let them
get their hands on that.
- No.
- That's a tremendous
amount of information.
Are there any questions about anything
I just dropped on y'all?
- Can you just repeat it one more time?
- Is ceresia on board with
all the bulbian stuff?
- From all the correspondences
you've stolen and inferred
It seems like an unholy alliance.
It seems like plumbeline cares
About getting her dad's throne
And having the concord
survive and being empress.
- Right.
- It seems like ciabatta cares about
Being imperator and having a
country outside of the concord
That he can wage w*r against and conquer.
It seems like the pontifex cares about
A global church.
And it seems like cruller cares about
Just weaseling his a*s up brick by brick
As far as he can get.
- All right.
- I'm gonna k*ll him.
Or i'm gonna help my dad k*ll him.
- Hey, if it works.
- Maybe i'll k*ll him accidentally.
- You know what, that would be fine.
Or on purpose.
- Or on purpose.
- Honestly i'd be satisfied
by stabbing his dead body.
- Oh yeah.
- Mm-Hm, yeah i could see that.
- Kicking him a little bit.
- Have we changed?
- I think we're four w*r guys.
- I think we're four w*r guys.
- There you go.
- I'm gonna stab a dead body.
- Yeah, hey, it's gonna feel great.
- I'm gonna crumble that
little sh*t into the ground.
- You see joren jawbreaker
slaps you on the back, liam,
And goes, yeah!
I love it!
It changes ya!
- Yeah.
- Yeah, you can't be the same.
- No, you cannot go back.
- I remember when i was
a kid i was different
But then, i don't know.
I used to love music but
now my favorite sound
Is teeth hitting the floor.
- Oh, that's a new one.
- Yeah, yeah.
You can get, you can cap
somebody on the side of the chin.
- Mm-Hm.
- And you can get 'em all out.
And they'll be alive.
You can get all 32.
It's like a strike in bowling.
- Hey, now that you're like up and about.
- Mm-Hm?
- You gotta show this kid how you piss.
- Watch this.
- Oh!
- Okay, we just, we walk outta here.
I mean, you have to
see this at some point.
- I wanna see it.
- It's pretty incredible.
- All right, let's do it.
Field trip!
- He goes up to the wall of the monastery
And he goes, call it.
- Go.
Stop!
Aw!
God damn.
- Is there a valve in there?
- No, it's just about control.
It's about discipline.
- Right, now should we talk about
All that crazy stuff?
- Yeah, yeah, right, right.
Okay.
- Cumulous, i think the
monks here are in danger.
If there is a holy crusade.
They'll come to purge.
- They'll try to destroy this area.
- The holy places.
- That's true.
- Where's liam's brothers?
- Back at manylicks.
- Okay, well.
- I know we must, we have to go to the.
- Jawbreaker looks and says, well look,
We got armies and right
now they're scattered.
I mean all the troops that are in candia
Are lords and their retinues
That are on this crusade, right?
Because, i'm sorry, the
last thing you guys find
Is that
There are rumors that
they're talking about there
Of rumors of saccharina.
Of like, is there an heir?
And basically the thing is, it's like,
Find and k*ll her before her claim
Can be legitimized.
That would present.
Basically, there's
something from the pontifex
Being like, if that claim
were to be legitimized
By either the dairy
islanders or the meatlands,
Both the dairy islanders and the meatlands
Would certainly lead a claim
that we had abandon the concord
And would likely join
candia and go to w*r.
And then we'd be fighting half of calorum.
So basically it's like,
assassinate saccharina frostwhip
As soon as you can.
And there's even a thing in it about like,
Is it true?
And someone else being like,
It doesn't matter if
it's true, just k*ll her.
So, you see that jawbreaker says,
Well, i think the, you know.
They're on their heels right now.
Their big southern push fell apart
And now they've got to
all get on the same page
About how they're gonna carve up the cake,
No pun intended.
So, it seems like the
best thing we can do,
Get our armies together
And have everybody gather
out in front of manylicks
And take the knee to her majesty.
And uh.
- All of these people are scattered.
Their raiding parties,
we know where they are.
They don't know where we
are and we can teleport.
Maybe at least some of
us should be going out
Destroying these raiding
parties, coming back,
Before they know that we can do that.
- That makes sense.
I mean, if you just wanna go pick off
The smaller contingents
of crusaders in candia,
Then that sounds fine by me.
But i mean, how do we go
knock this cruller as*h*le
Off the throne?
And that we're gonna need armies for.
- Yes.
I think we need to get all
of candia on the same page.
And then we need to stop
The rest of the world from getting
The sugar-Plum fairy's secrets or magic.
We need to get to this ice cream temple.
- I don't think that we
should enter in any alliance
Where we have to be an ally of ciabatta
Who k*lled my sister.
- Why would we be an ally of ciabatta?
- If we enter back into the concord.
- We're not saying that.
- We're not entering
back into the concord,
We're defending candia.
We're trying to get the bulb out of here
From crusading, from k*lling everyone.
- So they get there tomorrow, right?
We need to try to maybe get
to this castle to save here?
- Yeah, we're not talking
about being on ciabatta's side.
Ceresia, the bulb, they're the enemy.
- Spearia speaks up and says,
I know what ruby means, though.
I think what you're
saying, if it makes sense,
Is part of getting maybe our allies
In the dairy islands to
recognize saccharina's
Legitimacy is that we're
playing their game, right?
Is that kind of what you're saying?
- Yes.
- Okay, i understand that.
Well, right now, the
whole world is against us
And we're out of the concord.
If we play their game and
get back in the concord
And say that saccharina
is, you know, she's great.
Then we're back in the concord and then.
- And then we k*ll ciabatta.
- And then we just leave the
concord again, if we want.
- And then they go to w*r with us again.
- Right, but then we're
back where we started
But fighting from castle candy.
- And the meatlanders
And the dairy islanders are on our side.
And who says we can't k*ll ciabatta
When we march on castle candy and take out
Anyone who would betray us.
- You say that, yeah,
So gooey speaks up and says,
You said something before theo about
All of them being
somewhere at the same time.
- Yes, there was a mention
of a meeting between
Ciabatta and the pontifex at castle candy.
That would be calroy, that's ceresia.
- The book is gonna be there.
What if we could get
someone from the meatlands
To be there and press the pontifex
On and she would have to say
that after her crusade on candy
She was gonna go for the meatlands.
- I have allies in the meatlands.
- Fantastic.
- All right, well.
We can't do nothin' without an army.
It sounds like what we're
saying we need to do
Is get back to manylicks
and rally the troops.
Try to gum up the works of the people
Trying to destroy candia by just letting
Our allies know that there is a true queen
That reigns in candia.
So that at least they'll have to deal
With the dairy islands and the meatlands.
And that'll also stop the imperial troops
From marching on us.
The imperials won't, if
there's a legitimate claim,
The imperials would have to leave.
So it'll just be ceresians
and you know, holy warriors.
And then y'all wanna save
these artifacts at this temple.
And then it sounds like there's gonna be
A lot of people we don't really cotton to
All at castle candy at the same time.
Yeah.
- I hesitate to speak,
Because i know that my
words in this company
Usually put me in worse standing
Than when i started speaking.
But i would like to make it clear
That i have no interest
in working with ceresia.
My entire intention of taking this throne
Is so that i may occupy it,
Use it as but a tool to
bring about an age of magic.
They can declare a crusade against us,
But i already declared
a crusade against them.
If i'm the queen, the bulb
will not be in candia.
And eventually, it won't
be in the dairy islands.
And then after that, it
won't be in the meatlands.
So, that's where i stand.
- Cool.
- You see ruby, caramelinda
catches your eye after that.
Cool, so you see that joren says,
Well, great, yeah.
Yeah! Okay.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yes, let's all get on board.
- You see that jawbreaker
looks over at you, saccharina
And you see he says.
Your folks and my folks,
We got a little rowdy in the mountains.
- I understand it was a pissing contest.
- Oh, if it was a pissing contest...
- Okay, let's go, right now.
Let's go, right now.
- You see that he pisses so hard
That the table flips over.
Pow!
- I piss so hard that i rise.
- He goes, god damn, we are related.
You see he goes, all right.
He takes a huge horn
of thick, syrupy cola.
It's like a sludge.
To her majesty, the queen saccharina
Of the house of frostwhip.
First of her name.
Long may she reign.
- Long may she reign.
- Long may she reign!
- Smashes the horn on the ground.
- I do wanna tell you though,
That king amethar,
everyone tried to k*ll him.
It was like not even funny.
So, once we announce that you're queen,
I would just want you to know that
Around every corner is
a brand new type of food
Wearing the skin of a
different type of food
That's gonna try to k*ll you.
- Yeah, it's gonna be confusing.
Liam, i grew up in a nunnery
Where i was meticulously
abused by nuns for years.
My entire life has been
an assassination attempt.
- Bulbian nuns?
- Why do you think i am the way i am?
Yeah.
- That makes a lot of sense.
You do carry a lot of guilt.
- Yeah, oh i have some.
- Queen saccharina.
I would like to officially pledge the
Order of the spinning star to you.
- Wow.
That is.
- We've been lost without lazuli
And we feel that you are the
rightful heir to this place.
- That is an honor.
I could never have
anticipated and all i can say
Is that in return i
pledge that i will return
The magic of lazuli and the
lost sucrosi to this land
As far as i can extend it.
- About five dozen monks that
still remain of this order
All leap to the top of their staffs.
They're now just balancing
on the point of their staffs
And do a deep bow standing on
top of their quarter staffs.
- I mean, lazuli just, she
just did everything right.
Everything right!
- Really did.
- Your guys' w*r council is concluded.
The immediate plans are that jawbreaker
And spearia and these townsfolk
Are going to head off to castle manylicks
To find liam's other brothers.
And rally the troops of both house rocks
And of house jawbreaker.
And try to get them together so that a new
Coronation can happen, a
new queen can be named.
And that some allies of
candia can be invited there
To be able to speak on behalf of candia.
- I just wanna make sure
that if we're gonna do
A formal coronation, it's
like very in my spirit.
Much more of like a hang out
party at a bar kinda thing.
- Ah.
- Yeah.
- You wanna do, well, i
was thinking the castle.
But there's some nice barns
up in the country side.
You wanna just do like a barn
and like a, i don't know.
We'll just get some barrels.
- Barn and a keg, that sounds wonderful.
- Barn and a keg.
I gotta be honest, i love your style.
I can't believe we were fighting.
- I'm just trying to set some precedents.
- Yeah.
- You know, honestly, i kind of cringe
Every time someone says
her majesty still, so.
- Yeah, well that's good
if you were precedent
Then you wouldn't have to be a queen.
- Oh my god, that is too good.
Pissing contest, right now!
- He blasts into the wall
and knocks himself out.
You see that.
So spearia, jawbreaker, and the townsfolk
Are gonna head back to manylicks.
Spearia goes, liam.
- Mm-Hm?
- Is there, could we have some escort?
Obviously your father doesn't have
Any of his soldiers here.
If there are people that could escort us
Through the mountains.
- I wonder, let's ask theo.
- Perhaps manta ray jack.
- Yeah, that would make sense.
- Manta ray switches his cutlass and says,
Right amethar i'll keep your uncle safe.
- Yeah, do that.
- So yeah, and then manta ray and the crew
Of the bel baby head
off to castle manylicks.
Spearia gives you a kiss
on both cheeks, liam.
Your dad comes over and says, well.
Liam.
- That's my name!
- Yeah.
Way to go, kid.
- Thanks, dad.
- It's uh...
It's not easy
Because
I think about it like your mom, you know?
She's soft and sweet and kind.
And there's a lot of
hard, sharp m*therf*ckers
Out in the world that would
be happy if she were dead.
And it feels kinda backwards
in the head sometimes.
Because even if you love the soft things,
You gotta be hard to protect 'em.
And sometimes it feels like
you're all turned around.
- Yeah.
- It's okay to be turned around.
Even if you wake up one day
And you find out you're not soft anymore.
- Yeah, but that's already happened.
- Yeah.
- I keep k*lling people really fast.
- Yeah.
- And sometimes in like,
existentially psychotic ways.
- Mm-Hm.
- Like turning into them first
And kinda having them k*ll themselves.
- Yeah.
I, um...
The first time i ever was in
a fight like that i was 14.
And i didn't wanna hurt anybody
But there was a knight who
was attacking a villager
Who had dishonored him or something
And he was gonna k*ll this villager.
I leaped off my meep and i ran over.
And i took him off his meep.
You know, just slash it down.
And i took out a mace and
i started pounding away
At his head, you know?
I gotta cave his head in.
And in my head, i went, i
have to start liking this
Right now or i'll fall
into myself forever.
- Totally, yeah.
Because if you hesitate a little bit
Then they'll just k*ll you.
- They'll k*ll you.
Good luck at the ice cream temple.
- What?
- And he takes off.
- Well, he got my name right.
That's so cool.
You're not calling me my
dead pig's name anymore.
So, what a day.
- I think theo being kind of a flunky
Just immediately walks next
to saccharina and goes,
Now, queen saccharina,
just to let you know,
I am technically captain
of the king's guard.
Or in this case now, the queen's guard.
So i don't know where gooey and i,
I would see me as kind of being here
And gooey being like there.
So technically i would be
able to give orders to gooey
In that situation.
Whatever you think, though.
I bend the knee.
- You're forgiven.
- Yes, your majesty.
- What's my role again?
What did i win in that tournament?
- You have a seat on
the cornucopian council
Which is part of the concord.
- Got it, cool.
- Queen saccharina, i.
- Could everyone just stop saying queen?
- Yes, my queen.
- Okay.
- I... Uh... Uh... You.
I have to...
I'm concerned about the spinning star
Where it stands here.
I don't necessarily want to keep
Everyone here just because
it feels almost like
This might be a target.
Should we maybe?
- The spinning star is different than
My hideout in the mountains, right?
- Yeah, you have your marauders
that are separate, yeah.
- Maybe they should join your
marauders for the time being
And take as much as they can out.
- Absolutely, we put a lot
of work into our guest rooms
And we have more than enough towels.
- They do?
- You guys hear.
Bam!
And a horrifically injured monk lands
With huge armfuls of blood soaked towels.
He goes, did i just hear
that you have towels now or?
- Yes, chocolate chip.
- We could always use more towels.
- Yes.
- More towels?
- No, no, no, no!
- Pew!
- We'll never see him again.
- Is a towel that big
of a deal to everyone?
I feel like sometimes i
just use a dirty towel.
- It's essential.
- What we do is we actually
have a geothermal vent
So we get the towels hot
before you put them around you.
- Okay, now that, okay,
that does sound nice.
- We're in the mountains
but we like our luxuries.
- The other night i
spilled a beer in my room
And i cleaned it up with a towel
And today i used that after the
shower without realizing it.
- Is that why you smell like old beer?
- Maybe, yeah.
Now, this was a story about liam.
- Cool, you see.
So the order of the spinning star collects
All the artifacts.
You see that basically,
snickersnack looks at you and says,
We will send you as best we can.
To the location of the ice cream temple.
If we are to truly make
this monastery safe
We will need to disassemble the room here.
Which means you will not
be able to come back.
But you will be much closer,
Within two or three days
travel to castle manylicks.
- Okay.
- That sounds fine.
- So when we leave you'll move the rune?
- We'll move the rune.
There will not be a
return available to you.
Your marauders look at you
and look at all the gear
And loot and scrolls and
gooey says, your majesty.
- Hm?
- You should take some
of us with you, yes?
- Yes, should you, your majesty?
Probably.
- Yes.
- Yeah, i got it.
- Yeah, no, it's okay.
Co-Captains, so.
- Yes, i think so, perhaps.
Perhaps sir theobald can sort through
And decide some things
that we wanna bring.
- Busy work.
- You see, gooey says,
sir theobald will decide
Who is accompanying you?
- Oh, you meant people?
I thought you meant cool weapons.
- Uh, no, your majesty.
- Yes, okay.
Yes, perhaps you could
sort of run a fitness test
Of the marauders.
- Yeah, okay, everyone.
- I would love to participate in that.
- Liam, get in the line.
- Cool.
- I run a very short fitness test
And pick the best people.
- How did i do?
- Liam did great.
Liam was number two.
- Cool.
- Give me an athletics check real quick.
- Oh hell yeah.
20 but not nat.
- Cool. Yeah, liam does great.
- Yeah, it was all very herky jerky
Because theobald is not flexible.
So it was like really
labored jumping jacks.
- Sundae momma, if theobald
is here, where am i?
Like, here or?
- We're really into rankings.
- I know, again, i feel like.
- I'm not into rankings.
- Sure.
I feel like i've tried to make it clear
That the whole hierarchy thing is like,
I am taking the throne so we
can get rid of hierarchies.
So again, you know what?
I think you tell me where you rank.
- You see swifty looks and says,
Okay, can i be queen?
- For a day.
Everyone can be queen for a day!
- Yeah! Yeah!
All of you k*ll yourselves!
I order you, behead yourselves!
- I take out my sword.
- No, no!
Theo, theo!
- Gooey, definitely you should come.
Swifty, bon jon, and i believe i may need
Backup for me personally.
I think that i'm perhaps
more of a target than ever.
- You see they nod.
Caramelinda is i think
over with ruby and amethar.
What have you guys been up to?
What have ruby and amethar been doing?
- Just a lot of looking out over parapets.
Thinking about everything.
- Real silent.
- Yeah.
- Not looking at each other.
Occasionally going, i know.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, mm-Hm, yeah.
- Mm-Hm.
- Mm-Hm.
- Yeah.
- You see caramelinda walks over to you.
I'll be accompanying spearia and joren
Back to castle manylicks.
- Okay.
So how long have you
known how to do magic?
- Lazuli taught me, a bit, here and there.
- And in all the lessons
that you were so anxious
That we attend, you didn't
think about teaching us any?
- I was going to start after you matured.
I didn't wanna give you
more tools to run away.
- Well, maybe if you
trusted us we wouldn't
Have run away so much.
- She just takes that right
into the heart and it hurts.
- Good.
- I look at caramelinda with a knowing nod
Of what it feels like.
- Honey, can i?
Would you give us a second?
- Yeah.
She actually, a second with saccharina
Or a second with ruby?
- A second with ruby.
- She nods and turns to walk away.
And she walks past you and looks at you
With a look of, i don't know what emotion
Saccharina would take from this.
It would either be further pain
Or it might be a moment of comradery
As you watch someone who is living
A life that they also did not ask for.
And walks away.
- I take a knee.
Hey.
- I also take a knee.
This makes me feel very uncomfortable.
- All right, honestly fine.
These are all results of the fact
That i'm gonna say it, i'm a bad dad.
Not a good, no, no.
I'm a bad dad, great general.
Incredible warrior.
Decent king, bad dad.
- Really into rankings.
- I well, okay, it's
been my whole life, okay.
I have not given you the attention
Or the availability,
the emotions, any of it
In dealing with jet.
And i feel like you've been on your own.
And i've been watching, and
it's affecting me everyday.
And i don't know what to do.
And the truth is, i don't think
any of us know what to do.
- I don't think you're a bad dad.
I think,
No matter what you do i'm
always gonna be alone.
I was never alone and
now i'll always be alone.
- No, you won't.
Because i'll always be there.
And jet will always be there.
In a different way.
But she's not gone.
And i'm not going anywhere.
They tried to take me away from you.
And i'm not going anywhere, all right?
All we have is each other.
And i can't stand to watch
you push your friends away.
So please be here with me.
Be here with us.
Because you are not alone.
And you never will be.
- I had to run away from
The most important person
in my life as she died.
And i'm never gonna be able
to live with myself for that.
And the only way that i could even
Live a half life is by getting revenge
On the people that did it to her.
- I put my hand on the back
of your neck and i say,
Yeah, we're gonna k*ll all of them.
And then there's gonna be a lot more life
To live after that.
And that, that we're gonna do together.
- Okay.
- All right.
- And i give my dad a big hug.
- A big.
I took notes yesterday from liam's hug.
And i do my best.
- You think that this hug, if
this family's into rankings,
That this is the best
hug there's ever been.
- I watch this from afar.
- A cold wind whips around you.
- That's pretty nice.
- And you guys prepare to head off.
You know that the notes of this weird cult
Of the bulbian church is gonna
be there tomorrow morning.
So you guys will probably
have to go tonight
If you're gonna teleport
there and get there.
Jon bon, swifty, and
gooey are all coming with.
They're sending the rest of the marauders
With the order and all the
order's treasures and everything.
So snickersnack is gonna lead
everyone else back into—
- Did anyone else from the
fitness test stand out?
- No, it was mostly.
Swifty started kicking
everyone in the legs.
Then everyone got very hurt
and there was quite a few—
- Not fit now, b*tch!
Not so fit now.
- What are you smoking?
- A cigarette!
- He's got a vicious habit.
- Yeah, as i said, i'm
a 43-Year-Old divorcee.
- Surprisingly fit.
- Twice divorcee.
- Yep! I can't keep it together.
- Well, you m*rder*d both of them, right?
- Oh, sure.
- It wasn't an amicable divorce.
- No, the first one was
a botched m*rder-Suicide.
- Oh my god.
- And the second one she was an addict
And she came after my stash.
She was in just a rage.
- Okay, i don't think you—
- Wait, she came after your stash?
- Yeah, i wouldn't share.
She was an addict and so am i.
Because you're never, you're
only ever in recovery.
And then she came after my stash
And i said, hey knock it off,
And she went for the throat
and i went for the stomach
And i got there first.
Because run, run fast as you can!
- Anyway, just to clarify.
That you're a widow, a widower,
And not a divorcee.
- Yeah, that does seem like
a pretty clear distinction.
- Cumulous is squatting in
the teleportation circle.
- You see he looks at you and says,
No, no, we got legally
divorced during the fight.
- Okay, got it.
- Yeah, there was a judge present.
- Oh, okay, yeah.
- It was in a courthouse.
- Uh-Huh.
- Can we?
- All right, throws it,
stamps the butt out.
You see that you guys head into.
- So, are we going into a forest?
Do we have to keep a low profile, or?
- It seems like you guys will not be doing
What you did last time and appearing
In a circle of standing stones.
This is a nearby circle of standing stones
That's still about two or three hours
From where this temple is supposed to be.
- Okay.
- So it's like the closest circle
Of standing stones to where
you need to kinda get to.
- Oh, again, i want to reiterate.
We sent several parties
to check out this temple
And they still have yet to return.
So, everyone if you could
just sign this waiver.
- And that was under gooey's watch or?
- You see gooey looks over at you.
She does that thing.
You see that she's just
counting little kind
Of like prayer beads of the bulbian church
That she's got hanging
from a loop on her belt.
That are like partially
blood stained on them.
They look like trophies that she's taken.
You see she just comes over
to you and does that thing
Where she puts her face on
the other side of your face
To talk in your ear.
And just goes like, you're a real, soft,
Squishy little bear, aren't you?
- Yeah, i'm the squishiest.
And i hear the queen likes 'em squishy.
- Yeah, real squishy.
- I'm a squishy bear.
- I bet a little ax would have no problem
Getting in that soft little tum-Tum.
- Yeah, it probably wouldn't.
What are you gonna do about it, huh?
Are you gonna?
- You take that armor off sometime.
- Yeah, i might.
- You see that she, there's a pause.
There's a pause and she goes,
Are we gonna f*ck?
Are we gonna f*ck?
- That would be inappropriate.
- Yeah, i know that's what makes it good.
What are you?
- Against our orders.
I don't usually not follow.
- Theo needs this, all
right, let this happen.
- Everyone here is insane.
Cumulous breaks the neck of a chicken.
- Boom!
You guys appear.
You guys appear in the midst of the.
I love it.
An intimidation match that
gets too hot for everybody.
Is so f*cking funny.
- Theo to him just being
like the most amenable person
Is like intimidating.
Being like, yeah, i'm more
subservient than you are.
I betcha i could dominate you.
I bet you could.
- I bet you f*cking could.
You guys arrive at this circle
Of sugar-Plum fairy standing stones.
Everyone immediately is
freezing f*cking cold.
This is in the high, high mountains.
You guys are in something kind of like
The rockies right now.
This is the f*cking himalayas.
You can tell actually that
the peaks soar up here
And probably like, it would
take you days to travel
What on a road would take
you a couple of hours.
It's so jagged and craggy here.
And even with that you know
that just on the other side
Of these tallest, like
these mountain peaks
Are three to five miles tall.
Just enormous, sky
rending peaks of deep red,
And blue candy stone with
ice cream swirls and flurries
On the tops of the peaks.
And you see covered in
partial ice cream snow,
Steps leading up from the
circle of sugar-Plum stones.
Up into the mountains.
The stones glow and you know
That the teleportation room
behind you has been sealed.
You begin to wend your way single file up.
What is the order you are traveling in?
Bearing in mind that you also have gooey,
Jon bon, and swifty here with you.
- Can jon bon go first?
- Is it dark?
- It is dark, but it's incredibly moonlit
And starlit here.
And there's snow on the ground everywhere
So it's this weird otherworldly,
Almost like bright as day
in the middle of the night
From all the reflections of the stars.
- I think i'm gonna cast
invisibility on myself.
- Okay, cool.
- Is there a way for
me to travel not quite
On the steps with everyone else,
But a little bit off the path?
Kind of like—
- Yeah, no problem.
- Keeping watch and keeping very alert.
- You are back home.
Not only mechanically does your character
Not be affected by difficult terrain
But this is like, you grew up doing this.
- Can we do pass without trace?
- I can, yeah.
Do you think, yeah?
- It seems worthwhile.
- Okay, so right now—
- Can i also send yak up and see
If there's anybody hiding
or anything to be seen?
- Mm, good call.
- Go ahead and give me a perception check.
- Is it advantage?
- No, but.
Oh actually, no.
I believe, as a falcon.
He does have advantage, yes.
- What is, hang on.
- You can use your perception.
- 22.
- He flies.
These mountains are deserted in between
Your path to you and where you are going.
Do you want him to fly further afield?
Or do you want him to stay?
Do you want him to fly out
past where he will be able
To like rejoin you?
Or do you want him to just look at
Between you and the mountain?
- I just wanna make sure
that there's no ambushes
Or anything waiting for us behind.
- He spots nothing.
- Okay.
- You see steps leading up
And as you round the bend,
and again, give me your order.
So yeah, jon bon goes in the front.
This huge viking like chocolate warrior
Heads to the front.
- I guess i'll go up front as well.
- I'm actually gonna cast
invisibility on myself.
So, i'll go upfront.
I know that i'm like not
supposed to be in the front
Now that i'm the queen, but
i'm used to being in front.
So i just cast invisibility
and i go to the helm.
- Take off, cool.
- I wonder if there's any like traps.
- Should we try to—
- So i have evasion,
So maybe i could be towards the front too?
Just in case.
- Oh yeah, i also have evasion.
- Maybe i could tie a
rope to you or something.
- Yeah, you wanna tie a rope to me?
- I tie a rope to cumulous.
- This will be very fun if
it ends up being just steps.
- If he just falls down.
- I'm in the back.
- All right, so i think i'm
gonna tie a rope to cumulous.
He is in front of.
He's in the way front line.
Then there's another line.
And if something gives
with the steps or something
I'll catch him and pull him back.
- I'm gonna be in the back with my dad.
- Cool.
Amethar in the very back,
ruby in front of him.
Liam off to the side.
Cumulous in the very front.
And then behind cumulous by
a distance is saccharina,
Theo, gooey, and jon bon.
And then swifty behind them.
So you three are kind of in the middle.
- Cool.
- You begin to head off.
The steps all ascend.
I'm going to need a group survival check.
A group survival check.
- Oh, seven.
- Three.
- 21.
- 14.
- 10.
- Yikes.
- Nine.
- Yikes, indeed.
- Oh wait, can i roll with advantage
Because of princess?
- Sure.
- Oh, can i roll with advantage?
- Oh, nat 20!
- Yes!
- Could i roll with
advantage because of yak?
- Sure, yeah.
- Oh, thank god.
Well, that's an eight.
- Okay.
- Can i roll with advantage
because of swifty?
- Yes, you may.
- Oh, i actually got worse.
- It tracks.
- Okay, how many.
So we need at least three successes here.
- What's a success?
- I got a nat 20.
- Nat 20.
- What was it over?
- 15 or higher.
- Ugh, i'm 14.
- 14, two?
Cool.
- No, no, i got a 21.
- 21 and then a nat 20 here.
Everybody here takes 11
points of cold damage.
- Would i take cold damage?
- Oh, i think the winter
scoop makes you either
Resistant or immune to that.
- Yeah.
- Resistance, so you take five.
- Okay.
- You guys take that damage
just getting to the top.
This is a lifeless area.
And you guys are.
As you head to the top of the mountain.
Cumulous, i'm going to, as you ascend
You arrive at the gates.
Huge, ancient sucrosi pillars.
Pink and like strawberry pink,
Chocolate brown, vanilla
white scoops in a huge arch.
Ancient, primordial ice cream temple.
And a hallway with a huge
locked door in front of it.
And you see that there is a
symbol of an ancient spoon
In the front of the door.
- Is that for your spoon?
- Yeah, can i walk up to it?
- Yes, you can.
- Did you say that i
needed to do something?
- No, this is gonna happen first, sorry.
- I walk up to it with my spoon and i say,
Lazuli, watch over me.
And i, first i hold it
over like a hotel keycard.
- You hold it over like a hotel keycard
And you hear.
Light, sugary, lavender plum light
Spreads throughout the door.
And a blast of freezing mist
Begins to descend down the stairs.
Snaking down the mountainside.
You cannot see the floor here.
The walls, the ceiling.
Natural caverns, although
shaped so conveniently.
Almost as if people
here shaped the mountain
With something other than their hands.
The cavern opens up.
The hallway extends.
Who goes down the hallway?
- I definitely just walk right in.
- You're invisible, right?
- I'm invisible.
- Queen saccharina, where?
- Oh, i'm inside, everyone come.
- Oh, okay. I rush in.
- I walk in the same order i was in.
- So you try to go off
ahead of saccharina.
- The rope.
- Cool, you walk to the front.
Awesome, i'm gonna need a
dexterity saving throw from you.
- Whoa!
- With evasion i just.
- You take half damage on a
failed and no damage on a.
- But no advantage, cool.
That's, dexterity saving throw.
I hit a 14.
- 14?
- Oh wait, advantage
versus spells with that.
- Oh, this is a spell.
- Okay, so i.
- So you would roll advantage here.
- Then, okay.
Same roll.
- Same roll, okay.
- I yank the rope.
In a way that hurts you.
- You take.
- That's what the damage is from.
- You take 15, halved from evasion
To seven cold damage.
- Okay.
- You see, get out of the way
As just a trap goes off.
Just a pure.
Freezing cold.
- Liam or ruby.
- Sorry, i think that my enthusiasm
For the magic place got in the way.
Shouldn't have stormed in.
- I honestly shoulda had that.
- I should have tugged
on the rope, i'm sorry.
I thought you were gonna
fall down the stairs.
- I got hit by this thing and it hurt
And it was cold and then i felt my stomach
Get pulled back a little bit.
- Yeah, no, that was a
probably a lot of it.
You have rope burn all
over your waist now.
I'm so sorry.
You know what, i'm just
gonna give you the rope back.
- You guys begin to walk through hallways
That are crystalline
and icy with those like
Freezer burn style ice crystals.
And you begin to look in
and see various reflections
As you walk through this next hallway
That glows with luminous, icy, white light
From behind the ice cream.
Such that this place is
sort of in dim illumination.
Mist again covering the floor.
You hear, as the winter scoop approaches,
That you can hear things
in the walls like traps.
Disassemble and stop.
- I will let you go first.
- Oh, yeah, that's a good call.
I go first.
- You begin to head out in the front.
Everybody here make a
perception check for me.
Let me know if you've got a 20 or higher.
- I got a 27.
- Whoa.
- A 20.
- 18.
- 11.
- 21, sorry.
- 21.
And a 27.
- 11.
- Saccharina, as you are
walking into this place.
Are you still invisible or no?
- Yeah.
- You see many eyes golden and eyelids
Of deep purple and plum.
And you hear a voice in your head going,
I can't see you.
But i know you're here.
- I can't see you, either.
But i can hear you.
- You've come here with the winter scoop.
Storm captain and sorceress of sundaes.
This temple was made by
those very much like yourself
In ages long past.
And yet my fairy feet have been
The only ones to tread
here in quite some time.
And you see that her
pupil narrows vertically
Like some kind of animal.
With a 21,
You look and you see a smile
of blue in the icy crystal
And you see your sister sapphria's face.
She smiles.
Long way from home, brother.
- I just try and see if
anyone else saw that.
- It doesn't look like they did.
- Wait, do we know?
What do we know about sapphria?
- She's the second youngest.
- She's the rogue.
- Ah, right, yes.
- You.
What did you roll again?
- I rolled a 10.
- A 10.
The luminous light here and the fact
That it is coming from everywhere,
Warm and diffused, means
that you do not currently
Have a shadow.
You guys move through this space.
Liam, give me a nature check.
- Let's see.
That's 18.
- You smell something.
It's all cream here.
It's all ice cream.
Sugary, frosted, and the cold
keeps smells from traveling.
But for a second, hot chocolate
And the smell of cinnamon.
Somewhere.
- Whoa.
- You guys arrive at a three pronged fork.
There is a staircase ascending up
That has the symbol, the sucrosi symbol
Of the sugar plum fairy on it.
And it is an ancient name.
Anyone can make it an
arcana check if it wants to,
But saccharina, you know this by heart
Because it is one of the actual names
Of the sugar-Plum fairy, not her title,
One of her actual names up on this door.
- Can i make a religion check?
- Yeah, you can do religion.
- I got a 21.
- 22, 21.
You recognize this immediately.
You see, and you just get your
first vision in the crystals
And you see your aunt lazuli and it says,
Her name, the fairy's name.
She is close now.
All your cunning will be needed.
- You got a 21, right?
- Mm-Hm.
- The last time you saw this rune
It appeared abruptly in the sky
Moments before a hail of arcane arrows
Won the battle of finolia
When lazuli fell.
- What is the name?
- You've only, it's not pronounceable
As you've only ever seen it written.
- Oh!
- Those people were lost a long time ago
So it's like a unspoken.
What's the word i'm looking for?
Dead language.
- But you know it means sugar-Plum fairy.
- I got a 13.
- To your right the pronged,
So that central one is
the sugar-Plum fairy.
To your right you see more ice crystals
And a flickering of light.
Almost like you could go down there
And some of the things you've seen out of
The corner of your eye feel
like they might be down there.
But it also feels, to those who got
A 20 or better on arcana,
it feels like maybe
There's illusion magic
there, but also conjuration.
Like maybe some of the
things you would see there
Would be true and others wouldn't be.
- Okay, i pass that along.
- And you see to your left,
You see ice cold and
many, many more traps.
And at the edge of it,
At the end of that passageway down deep,
That actually gets dark and you see
That there is a locked steel door.
And it has a symbol on it in sucrosi
That you recognize that means armory.
- I hold swifty back.
- I gotta get in there!
That's pay day.
I mean, that's all of us retiring.
- Which one?
- Could you mage hand through the traps?
With your thieves tools,
the ones still left.
If just all traps.
- The armory.
- To the armory?
Yeah, i can do that.
Because if the mage hands
flips a trap it doesn't matter.
- Yeah, go ahead and give
me a thieves tool check.
- Great.
20, not nat.
- Spikes of ice, icing, and ice cream.
Traps go off as the door opens.
Behind it in the dim reflected light
From your little ante chamber here
You see the most enormous
library you've ever seen.
Books, scrolls.
- Ah, one of those kinds of armories.
One of my mom's kind of armories.
All right.
- It's an armory of the mind.
Theobald cries.
- A single tear.
- Yes, it's okay.
- What, you don't like this?
You won't cry for these.
- No, no, no.
- No, this is disappointing.
- It's awesome.
- This is disappointing, i'll say it.
I'll speak to it.
- Even i'm a little disappointed.
- It would have been really cool to have—
- You know what, actually
i am disappointed as well.
- Okay, theo, you know, i want you
To defy me sometimes because
that will keep me in check.
- All right.
- Saccharina, get used to it.
He's also gonna stand very
close to you very often.
- Yeah, oh yeah, i feel
the warmth of his body.
- Sorry.
- Gooey leans over and says,
You know, you're standing a
little bit close to our majesty.
- Yeah, you're standing
a little too close to me.
- I'll stand a little close to you.
- Yeah?
- How close do you want me to get?
- Yeah, well i'm not gonna be
able to do anything about it.
- Okay, okay, this.
This is a problem for
me, because guess what?
I am an assassination target
And the two of you have very
obvious sexual chemistry.
- Your majesty, can i just
talk to you for a second?
- Yeah, absolutely.
- I've been bunking with jon bon.
- Yeah.
- For a long time.
- Right.
- This is my shot.
- Yeah, okay.
- I just need to.
- You just want it.
- I'm gonna be so much more present.
- Right, yeah.
- If i just get this done.
- Theo, i command you
to f*ck gooey, i guess.
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
- Well, the queen.
- I mean, if.
- Damn!
- I put my crown on, yes,
well you know, it's—
- Can we do it later?
- It sounds like it's a time thing.
- All right we're all
gonna go in the library
And if gooey and theo wanna find a...
- No, that would be weird.
- A dark corner.
- Or it wouldn't be, i don't know.
Gooey what do you think?
- What is this, college?
- What is this, college? What is this?
Let's go look at the books.
- Aw, classic college.
Your boss tells you, you have to f*ck.
- I must admit, the thing
that intrigues me the most
Is the staircase with the
rune of the sugar-Plum fairy.
- I'm wondering if your
spoon will let us go
Through this hallway.
Maybe, i don't know if the
traps have been set off already.
Could we walk through it?
- Yes, we could take a detour.
- Would it be worth going to the library
Just to see if there's anything
That would help us figure out.
- I make off towards the library.
- Awesome, you go.
- I'm swinging it like a metal detector.
- You go into the library and anyone here
That wants to can make an arcana check.
- Oh, yeah, i'd love to, yeah.
- 18!
- Nat 20, come on. f*ck.
- I got a 15.
- 15.
- I also got a 15.
- Cool, you got an 18 here?
- 18.
- You look at this.
What you see here are just
ancient texts of candian magic.
All of the rich wonders
of this land kept here.
The making of arcane
weapons, enchantments,
Conjurations, abjurations,
as far as the eye can see.
- See, does any one else wonder why
Someone would want to secret this away?
- Can i make a check?
Or like a perception check or something
To see if there's anything
from any other land?
- Yeah, go for it.
- Okay.
So close to a nat 20.
Let's see, perception.
Oh yeah, hell yeah.
That's like 23.
- Okay, you go and look.
You find a thing in bulbosi here.
It is a bestiary that
includes candian stuff in it.
- I speak bulbosi.
- Yeah, you read it.
You see it's a bulbosi book.
And it has a list of
spirits, gods, and monsters
That were proven to be
false idols and destroyed.
You see the vegetanian
legends of the jolly giant.
You see a meatlander legend
of the amazing house spirit,
The hamburger helper.
You see that there are a list of.
No zac, this is good.
- Can i scan it for wonder bread?
- The incredible legend of wonder bread?
- Those were just comic books.
- Saccharina you notice
liam looking at this
And you see that the
fact that this is here
Is probably the only thing that means
It still exists.
Like these, what you recognize, liam,
Is that what cumulous said
When he first arrived was correct.
That all the lands of calorum
have had these spirits,
These beings.
Whether they were aligned
with the celestial light
Of the bulb or with the dark
powers of the hungry one,
That spirits and gods
and deities and the fae
Have always existed.
And they have been everywhere.
And as cumulous said, the only reason
That it has stayed in candia
is that it has been fought for.
And you look at a
graveyard of these spirits
That were lost from other lands.
- Is there anything in here about like
The cinnamon smell that i keep smelling?
Or like?
- Yeah.
You see at the very last page,
It gets to, you open it.
There is that word again.
The dracoria azucar.
And you see in the roiling
there is a inverted version
Of the sugar-Plum fairy's
rune covered in spikes
And surrounded by magic.
And you see a dark chocolate egg
At the center of that page.
The book slams shut in a blast
Of sparkling lavender magic.
The book is sucked down the
hallway out of the library
And it vanishes.
And you hear the central
door slam open up above.
- I think i wanna say, that's
what we're here for, liam.
- The big dragon?
- Or the egg.
- Cool.
Should we get outta this room
Before this giant metal door closes?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, that's probably a good idea.
- You guys walk forward.
You get back to the center.
You see mist pouring
out of the now open door
At the top of the stairs.
- Can i hide?
- Yes, you may.
- Can i use prestidigitation to,
You can do a puff of wind
with prestidigitation.
- Yeah.
- Can i get rid of some of this mist?
- Yeah, you.
- Oh, if you want i can
control the weather.
- All right, well good.
- So just where do you want?
- This actually isn't weather, it's mist.
- Where do you want the mist?
- We're inside.
- This is working so well.
- This isn't weather, so like.
- I can just do that.
Do you wanna make it rain?
- I'm actually doing it as well,
Because i also have magic.
You're not special.
- Everyone's doing so good.
We should all be friends.
- You watch the mist part in front of you.
As you get on top of the stairs,
You enter an enormous chamber.
You are in the heart of the mountain.
Up above are endless, enormous icicles,
Just reaching down.
This place is so vast.
It's one of these things where
It's almost like the walls
have the faint illumination
Of all the ice cream here,
But the distances get so
great and the luminosity
Of the ice cream is so like dim and fay
That you're looking at light
And still somehow almost like darkness
Begins to manifest as you
look all the way down.
And the mist roils, and woo.
So it's just all like
a dim light and mist.
- So you're looking down?
- So you get to the top of the stairs.
You get to a platform,
like a balcony underneath
This columned arch.
And then it is just
open emptiness and mist.
And you see that the mist is rising up,
But just from the auditory
quality of being in here
You can tell it's a long way down.
In the center of this massive,
empty heart of the mountain,
A tower of ice cream scoops frozen over
For a thousand, thousand years spires up
Like a massive column of
stone or a tree trunk.
And in the center of it,
there is a small opening.
Everyone here give me a perception check.
- 23.
- 18.
- 17.
- Hey, there we go.
Oh yeah, like 26.
- Okay, amethar and liam.
Also, give me a stealth check.
- Do i get advantage on that?
- No, just regular.
- Oh, right but it's
gonna be like crazy high.
- Yeah, plus 10.
- 36.
- Cool.
You both look and in the center of that.
You also see, by the way,
a mist that's orbiting
This column are enormous
like 20 and 30 foot long
Or wide popsicles and ice cream cones
That just are like crusted
over with rime and frost.
Just.
In this strange spinning
mobile of giant ice cream.
Floating around the center
column of ice cream scoops.
You both notice that lodged deep
In the top of that spire,
frozen by the coldness
Of the ice cream scoop column,
Is a dark chocolate egg.
You see that there is a
stain or smear or sludge
Of melted ice cream that must have melted
Even at this freezing temperature.
When the egg was first put there,
And then frozen as it
dripped down the side
Of the freezing column.
You see twinkling into
existence in front of you,
About five feet in height,
beautiful purple leaves
In her skirt, two large
eyes, two small eyes.
Six dragonfly wings.
That image, and amethar you see this,
That image flickers a little bit.
And you know that this is a glamor.
Not the true form of this being.
She appears in front of you smiling.
And holds out two hands.
One of which has a mended teacup
That has been fixed, put back together,
And has a peppermint
heart seed that you left
In the grotto at castle candy.
In her other hand she holds a note.
Lapin, for candia.
Sweet and wonderful gifts.
Beautiful.
She sets them down on
the platform and says.
It has been so long.
And now you're finally here.
Thank you for coming to my glade.
Thank you for being here.
I'm so sorry that i
couldn't bring her back
But now i can bring you to her.
- What do you mean?
- In the mist.
You see shapes.
You see...
Four women, four adult women,
And a younger adult woman in front of them
And the four women have their hands
On that younger woman's
silhouette in the mist.
Behind them you see other shapes.
One of them looks like
a smaller candian king.
With a little hint of green,
Just like your father jadain.
And you see a brightly colored road made
Of pure illusory light.
Stretching away from
the platform, going down
Into the mist, curving away
from that central column.
You see the sugar-Plum
fairy says, i can take you.
To a pure place.
I can take you where i
took all the hungry spirits
That were sweet and syrupy.
I can take you down a road that goes
To a land of only candy.
Where all of our magic lives
forever, and ever, and ever.
And all the people that you miss
Will be there waiting for you.
I have been working so long and so hard.
The bulb.
The church.
It's going to burn everything sweet
And syrupy out of the world, forever.
Unless we can bring it here.
And i've been bringing
everything here that i can
For so, so long.
And now, finally, i get to bring you.
- Bring me where?
- Down the road into the mist.
She's there.
- And where are you?
- She curtsies and says,
right here, i think.
- I know that's not true.
- You calling me a liar?
- I am.
- That hurts my feelings.
I'm just wearing this
shape 'cause it's nicer.
And it'd make you more comfy, i thought.
- I'd love to see your true shape.
- I bet you would.
I see you got the winter scoop.
I know why you're here.
You're a lot like your aunt.
She wanted to take everything special
About candia and just
leave it lying around
Where anyone could come and ruin it.
And she wanted to put it into spells
And put it into weapons.
But if something's special,
You don't leave it out
where it can be ruined.
- Why is it up to you to choose
Who gets to have it?
- Because if i don't take it away, then...
You see she points to the
book in your arms and says,
You could ask the jolly giant
Or the hamburger helper.
You could ask them how well they fared
Not having a plan of getting away.
- I'd like to say to this,
I'm just looking at this image of jet
And i'd like to say in
our special twin language,
Are you real?
- Who, me?
- Shh.
- I'm going to throw a
curve ball at you, emily.
- Okay.
- The figure in the
mist, ruby's new shadow,
Knows a lot about the
other side of this mist.
And that the sugar-Plum
fairy is telling the truth.
That she has taken all of the magic
That she can gather up and taken it away.
What does the shadow in the mist say to,
Or it can't say anything,
but what does it do
In response to ruby's question?
- I can't say anything?
- You speak in twin-Speak, right?
- Mm-Hm.
- A faint whisper comes back.
- It's true, but i
don't know if it's good.
- Whoa.
Did you hear that?
- I actually speak wind,
so i did hear that.
But it was like, twin-Speak or something.
- Well, i think this is really nice of you
To bring me this teacup.
That means a lot.
And i would love to go down
there and see what's there.
- Liam, one second.
- Liam, hang on, no.
- Theo, tie up to his waist.
- I, here is what i think.
Thank you for looking after us.
And thank you for looking
after the magic of candia.
But now we need it.
- For what?
- To protect candia.
- Mm, that's what i'm doing.
- No.
- You're candian and if you go
into the mist you'll be safe.
- No.
If we go into the mist we'll be dead.
Those people are dead.
- But safe.
- No.
- Are you mad at me?
- No.
- I've only ever tried to help.
I...
I sent my little bunny, lapin.
And i knew that he would
die to protect you,
But that you'd lose everything.
And i knew that you
wouldn't come here unless
You'd lost everything.
- Did you k*ll my sister?
- Would you have come here
if she was still alive?
- I f*cking pull my bow.
- I'm gonna need everybody
here to roll initiative.
And that's all for this
week, on "a crown of candy."
Tune in next week as we see the showdown
Between the house of rocks
and the sugar-Plum fairy.
- That b*tch.
- We see our intrepid heroes poised
On the edge of this platform.
You feel the presence
of a candy road going
To a realm of pure, sweet, candy dreams
On the other side of the mist.
- I just run straight forward
and i jump off the edge.
- I think we're about to get f*cked up.
- Oh, f*ck me!
- Oh no!
- Just have to not roll a 1, which is-
- Yeah, you have all of her attention.
- Please stop hitting
her, it's k*lling me.
- At the beginning of your
turn you will begin to fall.
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05x13 - Family Ties
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.