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07x07 - The Friendship Section

Episode transcripts TV show, "Dimension 20". Aired: September 26, 2018 – present.*
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.

07x07 - The Friendship Section

Post by bunniefuu »

- Hello and welcome back

to "Dimension 20 Live!"

I'm your humble Dungeon
Master, Brennan Lee Mulligan.

With me as always are our intrepid heroes!

Say hi, intrepid heroes.

- Hi, intrepid heroes!

- Oh, shucks, g*ng.

Dare I even say it, last we left off.

- Don't say it, don't say it.

- I don't think
we need a recap this week.

- Yeah, don't you have DOLLARDEAL

and stuff to talk about?

- Oh, let's talk about the DOLLARDEAL.

- That's a great point.
- Talk about anything else.

- Guys, first of all,
thank you for coming in.

We're a CollegeHumor

and Dropout's actual play D&D show,

where we get together with a bunch

of funny folks from CollegeHumor;

we play some Dungeons and Dragons.

This is the continuing
adventures of the Bad Kids,

a group of high school teen adventurers

from an adventuring academy
in the world of Spyre.

Now a couple things about that.

Number one, if you like actual play stuff,

We're running for one more
week an exclusive deal

where you can get your entire first month

of Dropout for a single dollar!

- What?
- The DOLLARDEAL?

- That's so cheap.

- That's so cheap.

We have dozens of hours of content

that you can binge for a single buckaroo.

- Less than a Snickers bar.

- Less than a Snickers bar!

And then you could abscond
into the wilderness

of the internet having
paid your single dollar,

gotten your views, and say, "Ta-ta."

So check out the
DOLLARDEAL over on Dropout.

Also, we are unofficially,

meaning that only you guys
watching the live show

right now get to know about this,

very unofficial, very
chic, very cool, very hip,

extending our Cyber Monday merch deal.

30% off everything in the Dropout store

with the code SAVEBIG.
- What?

- Ooh, SAVEBIG.

- You're saying it
like it is a character but-

- Yeah, you have to do it,

you have to type it lower.

- Yeah.
- Save.

- That's for the chic.
- SAVEBIG.

- S-A-A-A-V.

- One of Brennan's
iconic characters, SAVEBIG.

- Oh, SAVEBIG, 100%.
So you can get a bunch

of awesome Murph, merch.

You can get a bunch of awesome Murph.

- Hi.

- You can get a bunch of
awesome merch that way,

which is very, very exciting.

We got a- there's cool
"Unsleeping City" stuff.

There's "Fantasy High" stuff.
- Oh yeah.

- You gotta go check it out.

We got all kinds of cool new stuff,

and for other Dropout shows as well.

And finally, if you're watching
this Twitch Live thing,

and you're like, "I don't
know about this Dropout stuff!

My friend made me watch this.

They said I had to or we
couldn't be friends anymore."

First of all, talk to your friend

about communicating more gently.

And second of all, you can go see

the entire first season of
this show, "Fantasy High,"

for free over on the
"Dimension 20" YouTube channel.

We got a YouTube channel.

You can go and subscribe to that,

and you can see a bunch of
"Adventuring Academy" podcasts.

We're running games so
you can watch season one

of "Fantasy High" where we
meet the Bad Kids originally.

Enough about that!

Let's get back to the recap.

Last we left off.

Oh boy.

Oh dear.
- What happened last week?

- Oh yeah.
- I don't remember.

- Well.
- I think we

had a great episode.

- Last we left off.

- I definitely
haven't used my Portent rolls.

- You see, you see, g*ng, the Bad Kids

are a group of adventurers

from the Aguefort Adventuring Academy,

you can see right here,

the preeminent high school
for heroes in all of Spyre.

And their spring break is being spent

doing their sophomore year project

for 60% of their grade,

which is retrieving the
Crown of the Nightmare King.

That quest has brought them

to the Pirate City of Leviathan,

where they've met certain allies

such as Garthy O'Brien,
the half-orc Aasimar,

and tender of the Gold Gardens.

And they also have met
some enemies, including

Captain James Whitclaw
of The Crimson Claw,

the illithid pirate, an old rival

of Fabian's father, Bill Seacaster.

While our intrepid heroes-

most intrepid heroes were busy

uncovering a little mystery
of potential infidelity

on behalf of one of their
hirelings and Fig's mom,

Sandra Lynn, Fabian
had gone off on his own

and was having a feast with
the followers of his dad,

warlocks of the multi-level marketing cult

of Bill Seacaster, a
bunch of broke warlocks

that are now almost all dead.

- You okay there, Lou?

- No.

- Through deeply in-character choices-

- Thank you.

- We ended up seeing Fabian
Aramaris Seacaster, bloody

and suspended from ropes

at the bottom of Crow's Keep

after having been cursed
by Chungle-Down Bim

and abandoning young Alistair Ash

to the clutches of, you
know, Captain Whitclaw.

We also later saw some horrifying dreams

with the souls of those
warlocks going to Hell.

And we had some fun

with Fig impersonating Jamina Joy

as her and Gorgug rocketed at close

to 200 miles an hour.
- Another deeply

in-character...
- In-character choice.

- I thought that was solid.

I stand by that decision.
- It's incredible.

It was the best.
- Had I rolled correctly,

I think, yeah.

- Absolutely.

And finally, we ended with some

really troubling news.

Fabian ended up in the ocean

after failing some Wisdom saving throws

because the sleep had been interrupted.

The Moon Haven did not last
long enough to cover everybody.

Murph, as Riz, had a terrifying encounter

with Kalina, the Shadow Cat,

who eventually pulled
some information from Riz

concerning the fact that Ragh Barkrock

had spilled the beans about
being able to see her.

She threatened to k*ll Lydia Barkrock,

Ragh's mother, back in Spyre.

And our intrepid heroes
headed out the next morning,

having recovered Fabian from the sea,

to head to Crow's Keep with a note

from Garthy O'Brien to find their friend,

a woman named Ayda Aguefort

in the Library of the Compass
Points in Crow's Keep.

You guys have suffered

some pretty harrowing defeats.

It is a new day as Baxter,

The Hangvan, and the party trundle off

towards Crow's Keep.

With that being said,
are there any questions

about anything that we did
not cover from last...?

- Is The Hangman
dead? It's got like a-

- Yeah, is The Hangman-

- The Hangman is on top of the van,

Sword of the Seacasters
through the engine block

with oil spilling out.

- Do we have have...
- So is it dead?

- Did we find Fabian?

- I'm in the car with pneumonia.

- With pneumonia.

That's correct.

- Listen, guys.

Or do, have we started?

- So a new day dawns

over the wide city of Leviathan.

Mist and fog rise up from the city's edge

as the smell of rotting
wood, pirates, grog

and the brine of the
sea air wash over you.

You hear the cawing of gulls

and the creaking of the many decks

as you wend your way in
the early morning light

to one of the many pulleys

and rigs that will take your large cargo,

van, and everything else,

up to the raised platform
village of Crow's Keep

high above the rest of Leviathan.

Looking up at the Crow's
Keep in the morning air,

you guys spy something like dark smoke

curling from a corner of the Crow's Keep

as you make your way there.

Does anyone else have any questions?

Or what do you guys do as you approach?

- I guess, can we do...

- Yeah.
- Do you guys...

I guess, first off, let's
do a Perception check.

- Yeah.
- See if we could see

what the smoke is.
- Yeah.

- And if not, I can
sneak. I've good stealth.

Nat 20 on a Perception check.
- Hey, yes.

- Ooh.

- It's a small plume of smoke

as a single building
burns in the Crow's Keep.

With a nat 20, you know it is not

the Compass Points Library.

So your destination is safe, that-

- But a building was burned down.

- I'll go check it out.

- It looks like a
building was burned down.

- Nobody needs to check it out.

- All right. All right.

- Fabian, I can't
see you down there.

- Oh yeah.

- Nobody needs to go
check out the building.

I was there.

- Oh.
- I'm the reason there's a fire there.

Yep.
- Are you gonna put

your eye patch back on?

- No.
- Okay.

- Well.

- Do you wanna hold Boggy?

- Yeah, I feel like we need to
clear the air on this, okay?

- I give Fabian Boggy.
- Fabian, you made

a bad choice, and then
something bad happened to you

that you couldn't control.

Although technically, we
did have the moonstone

set up for a full night's sleep.

So yeah, it was actually way your fault

that none of us could-
- Here's my question.

- Sorry!

- Why aren't you having nightmares?

- You don't go to sleep, right?

- Me?
- No, Riz

has nightmare- right?

Riz goes to sleep.

- Yeah, I've been attacked

several times in the night.

- But you haven't had nightmares.

- In a way, my life is a nightmare,

but I haven't had actual nightmares,

that's true.
- Have you had any dreams?

Do you know?
- No, I got grabbed

by a mirror monster one night.

And then the other night-

- You weren't trying to sleep in.

- You were asleep, and then Kalina...

- Was he asleep
when Kalina grabbed...?

- No, I just woke up, and I was paralyzed.

- I wonder if there's some
reason that she protects you.

- I don't know. She seemed pretty-

obviously concerned
that Ragh had seen her.

And she knows that I know she exists.

Seems like she doesn't
want anybody to know that.

- And then Garthy didn't see her

and then saw her.

And same with Tracker.
- Right.

- Is it possible that she's masquerading

as someone else or something?

- Or maybe if she

finds out-
- 'Cause, like, why

would Garthy have...?

- But you've always been able to see her.

- I've always been able to see her,

but she was my dad's partner at one point,

so I had seen her before.
- Right.

- Interesting.
- It seems, like,

you have to have seen her before.

- But Tracker, who have
you seen that we haven't?

Have you been off on your own?

I don't think so, right?

- No.
- No.

I haven't been off on my own at all.

- Weird.

- And you haven't had any dreams

with the Shadow Cat, right?

- No, I haven't had any-

like, even when we first started, like,

I didn't have any really weird
dreams other than normal.

Like, I have intense dreams,

but that's because of my condition

more than anything else.

- Right.
- Yeah, totally, huh.

- Weird.

- Okay.
- Okay,

well, we better get the word out

to Ragh's mom.
- Definitely.

- Make sure she's okay.
- Yes, let's go to the library

so we can get this spell.
- That's where we're going to right now

- Yeah.

- Lovely. You guys ascend up

to the Crow's Keep.

You begin to approach

the Compass Points Library,

huge emblems of, like,

a massive bronze sextant
govern the entrance

to the library.
- Nice.

- And you see giant sort of golden towers,

and they all are made of wood.

You also see that there
is a collection here

of just figureheads from various ships

that cover this place
almost like a cathedral,

but the, like, spars and
splinters of the ships

that they were taken from

still extend past from the figureheads.

So it's this strange,

almost like a Library of Alexandria,

a place of, like, cultural significance

and wonders but, splintered and fractured

because all of it had to be fought for

and protected from the drunken
depredations of pirates

that might not have as active an interest

in the preservation of
their own pirate culture.

- But also, are
these books in here,

like, all stolen?

- Extremely so.

- All right, this is my kinda library.

I sign up for a card.

- You go to the front desk

as you guys approach this place,

and you see that there is an ancient,

long gray-bearded, hunched-over pirate

who you see, he has like a thick sash

spell book in front of him,

long rings on his spindly fingers,

little sort of tricorne hat.

- Ahoy.

- Ahoy. Welcome to

the Library of Compass Points.

- I feel like there aren't
a lot of spellcasters on-

Can I do an Insight check
to see if he's also-

like, Fabian's dad is giving him spells?

- Sure.

- Ooh! Oh, goddammit. 11.

- You would clock this guy

actually at first as a wizard.

You see that he has

a sort of holster at his side,

which is chained and buckled.

And it looks too chained up

to be able to, like, access it easily.

And it is a massive tome

that has a giant Jolly Roger on it.

And written in scratched red ink

on the surface of the leather-bound book,

it says, "Here be pirate spells."

So you're guessing he's probably a wizard.

- Can I rent that book?

- What? This book is not

a part of the library's general stock.

This is my personal book.
- Can I rent that book?

Please?
- My book of pirate spells?

- May I?

- Why?

- Is it making you
sad that we're asking?

- You are a whisper of a man.

- In our culture,

that's a compliment.
- A faint idea.

- Many of the spells have taken

a hefty toll on my constitution.

There are spells within here.

There are spells that only the most

powerful pirate wizards can conjure.

There's a spell to turn
bananas into gold coins.

- Huh, I'm not interested in that.

- There are spells to turn-
- It's pretty cool.

- I think bananas
are pretty important

on the sea, right?

- Well...
- Yes, it's a good source of

vitamin C and potassium.
- Does it go the other way?

- Well.

- Could you turn gold coins into bananas?

- That knowledge has been lost,

but there are spells to
turn parrots into bananas.

- Okay.
- Okay, so if you

had a bunch of parrots
and you wanted gold coins-

- Yeah.

- You could turn them to bananas and then-

- Banana to gold.
- But the transmutative

properties do make it rather taxing.

So if let's say that I wanted
to have a single gold coin

but I had to start with parrots,

I would probably need about 50 parrots.

- So 50 parrots turn into 25?

- One?
- Turn into 10 bananas.

- 10 bananas.

- And 10 bananas turn into one gold?

- You're correct.

- Wow.

- How many parrots
- I just feel like

- Have you eaten?
- an honest day's work

will get you more gold.
- What?

- Yeah.

- Wait, how many parrots have I eaten?
- We're looking for

Ayda Aguefort.
- Yeah.

- Well, one time I turned
a community of parrots

into a bunch of bananas,

and there were about eight
bananas in the bunch.

So you can assume 8 times 5 is 40.

So I've eaten about 40 parrots.

- And what about
the gold you'd used for-

- Sorry, 42 parrots.

There were another two occasions

where I just ate a parrot the normal way.

- What's the normal way?
- What's the normal way?

- You cook a parrot.
- Just pop in

a parrot, yeah.

- So we are
looking for Ayda Aguefort.

- Ah, the mistress of the library.

- Yes.
- Yes.

- She who is the quartermaster of

the knowledge of Leviathan.

Pirates are not a

scholarly bunch.

- Except for you.

- Except for we, the few

who maintain the Compass Points,

the charts of the stars

and the maps of the sea and its currents.

We who know the comings
and goings of Leviathan.

Would you like to sign
up for a library card?

- I actually would, yeah.

- I would too actually, yeah.

- Yeah.
- I'm looking for books

on religion. Anything
but Helio, at this point.

I feel like I've got that covered.

- Well, very well. We would be happy

to instruct you into some

religious texts or manuals.

Right after- this way, I'll sign you up.

It costs nothing to join,

but we receive more funding
from the city government,

the more people sign
up for a library card.

- Oh, that's fantastic.

- Yeah.
- Okay, I've got a couple-

I've got a couple of burner phones.

I can make up some personalities.

- Ah, we actually receive double funding

for invented personalities.

- Really?
- I'm your girl.

I'm your girl.
- That's very pirate.

I like that.
- Yes, absolutely.

- You don't happen to have any books

on a guy called the
Nightmare King, do you?

- Oh, the Nightmare King?

I am sure if it is forbidden
knowledge you seek,

then it shall await you in the rows here

of the Compass Points

unless it has been stolen,

which it happens a lot.

We have a lot of stolen books.

- May we steal books?

- Please don't.

- Can I steal his book?

- Give me a Sleight of Hand check.

- It's changed too.

- I would like to do a-

- 14!

- 14.
- I would like to stop you.

I feel so bad for him.

Can I try to beat that?
- I was gonna steal it and

then give it back.

- I'm gonna say that makes
you roll with disadvantage.

Give me a roll.
- Okay.

- See if you roll lower than 14.

- I got a nat one.

- Okay, I'm gonna need you

to make a Constitution check.

- No! I'm so sorry.

I just feel bad for him.

- Power Word k*ll.
- Constitution savings throw.

- I got a 16.
- 16.

You see that the dude
blasts you with a spell.

And there is a tiny
horned parrot fluttering

where Fig just was a moment before.

- What? Come on!

- Oh, don't eat her, don't eat her.

- Dude, it was a joke!

Turn me into a banana.

- I could only turn you
into 1/5 of a banana.

- I Dispel Magic.

- Fig, you pop back.

- It was a joke,
dude. Get a sense of humor.

- Do not attempt to take from me

my tome of pirate spells.

- So, great.

Wait, is Ayda Aguefort here?

- Yes, she is now in the observatory

mapping the movements of the stars.

Or I guess, it's day,
so she might be napping.

- Let's go.
- Mapping and napping, got it.

- Can we go up there?

- Yes, the observatory is open to all.

Not forbidden.

Please do not go into the
forbidden areas though,

if you find them.

They will be clearly marked.

They are often intruded upon.

Please don't.
- Yes, we won't.

- Do not wink at me.

I am being sincere in my objection.

- Can we go in if
we have a library card?

- I need to look that up.

I think maybe, but I don't know.

- Okay, we'll leave you alone.

- The rules seem
vague enough that we might.

- The rules are quite specific.

As you guys wend your way
away from the front desk-

you guys all, by the way,
get your library card

so all of you can, in your inventory,

put Compass Points Library card.

You know, membership to another
prestigious organization.

You guys all, sort of, en masse

head up to the observatory.

As you arrive at the observatory,

you guys see a massive wooden dome

that has a huge gilded spyglass.

But it is the size of, like,
an observatory's telescope,

so this, you know, 60-foot monolith.

But you see that it is
still like a spyglass

in that it has like golden filigree work.

There's like fleur de lis on it, shapes

and busts on the side of the telescope.

You see...

You don't look...

You look around, there's a couple people,

like, napping in here and
sleeping, it looks like.

There's a couple people, like,
playing chess in a corner.

A lot of the places in the library

seem to be more social areas.

Some people appear to...

It doesn't feel like a library.

Again, library and pirate
city aren't two vibes

that go very well together.

So there is some clashing.

- So you're saying
it's like an LA library?

- It's a lot like a Los
Angeles Library, yes.

So you guys mosey your way through.

There is a large bit of

arcane rune work

going around the outside
of the observatory.

There's an enormous sort of
tropical-looking red, orange,

and yellow bird that
has, like, covered itself

in its wings and is swinging
from a little perch.

The bird is about,

maybe, six or seven feet tall.

Go ahead and make Perception checks,

anyone that would like to.

- 15.

- Six!
- 18.

- Nat one.
- Dirty 20.

- Two.
- Oh, Fabian.

- Nat one for Fabian.

Fabian, you cannot see
anything in this room

because your eyes are turned only inward.

Riz, you look up at
that bird in the corner.

You actually can't tell if it's a bird.

You see two large yellow talons.

The talons might be

about two feet long.

And the wings are wrapped around,

but they're sort of creating a little

night thing for the bird.

So you actually can't see its body.

It's sort of like a little shield of wings

and two talons sticking out from under it.

- Excuse me,
- Shall we say hello?

- Ms. Aguefort?
- You wanna go talk

to that bird?

- It might not be a bird.

- Gorgug does.

- What?

- As you say, it might not be a bird,

you hear.

- And the wings spread.

And a resplendent beautiful woman,

who, from the knees down,

has large talons.

She also has digitigrade ankles.

She has those ankles that kind of

kick back like a lot of animal feet do.

So from the knees on down

become these like gold,

almost like metallic golden talons.

She bears a striking
resemblance to Arthur Aguefort

the moment you look at her.

- She a harpy?

- She looks kind of harpy-esque

until you realize that she does have arms

in addition to wings.

So she has these incredibly-

And as they spread, deep red wings

that as they approach
the tips of the feathers

sort of change into orange.

And by the time they get to yellow,

flicker in a little edge of flame

along the outside of the wings.

She's dressed in sort of
like white linen pants

with, like, a pirate's sash on them.

No g*ns or anything you
can see. A sort of vest.

A lot of sort of orange
runes tattooed on her arms.

You see that she has a short shock

of sort of red hair.

It seems to be not on the
sides or back as much,

but almost like a plume of red, fiery hair

that comes out the top of her head.

And her eyes have pupils in them,

but are otherwise clearly
roiling ba*ls of flame.

- Guys, I think this is the creature

Arthur Aguefort made for me.

- No.
- No.

This is a full person. This is

a full sentient person.
- You see that there's a-

- Just kinda wishful thinking.

- This woman lands in front of you.

You see that she does have two scrolls

at the side, on her bandolier

and similarly to the guy downstairs,

but sort of- she has almost,

like, those leather harnesses
you would have for g*ns.

But it's two small books
strapped under each arm.

- She like-
- I say,

Fig, you should feed it.

- I hold out food.

- What do you- I- excuse-

- Do you offer this food to me?

- I turn her back into a parrot.

- She says, "Do you offer
this food to me as a gift?"

- Yes.
- Then I do not accept.

I will be in no one's debt as a wizard.

- What? Okay.
- Oh, okay, I eat the food.

- Are you now in your own debt?

- Are you eating bird seed?

- I owe myself.

- Ah, you're trapped inside of-

- Are we not
all in our own debt?

- Ah, are we all in our own debt?

She takes one of the books out

and begins to scribble something in it.

Anyone here can make an Insight check

if you would like.

- I need to know
if this is Fig's animal.

- Oh, I got a nat one.

I guess- can I have Boggy help me?

- Yes, go for it.

- Great.
- Five.

- 18.
- 18.

- Nine.
- 13.

- 12.

- You immediately recognize- this is-

you know what it's like to have famous

and notorious parents
and kind of be a little-

what that does to you growing up.

This is Arthur Aguefort's daughter.

- Oh, he really did f*ck anything.

- You're
being- everybody's being

very rude.
- Don't talk about my creature

that way.
- Stop saying things out loud.

- I'm sorry, did you just
refer to me as your creature?

- I'm sorry, it's just wishful thinking.

See, Arthur Aguefort promised me

he'd make me the coolest creature.

- Arthur Aguefort!

- Uh-huh.

- Yeah.

- His name

is my father's name.

- Yes, we're students at the

the Aguefort Adventuring Academy.

- What are you doing here?

- I'm Adaine Abernant.

- Ah. You see that she
grabs you to shake it,

turns it, turns it around, looks at you,

and says, "The Elven Oracle in the flesh."

- Yes, hi.

- I thought you died.

- No, it gets passed on.

- Ah, much like a phoenix. Curious.

- Well, actually
it's quite different

from a phoenix.
- Are you part phoenix?

- Half-phoenix to the exact.

- That's so cool.

- Wait, so did Arthur Aguefort

sacrifice his wife when we died?

- No, that was like an egg.

- Egg.
- Oh!

- No, it's- you're-

- Wait, was that his kid though?

- Is one of your parents a full phoenix?

- Yes. When it comes around,

my mother is a full phoenix.

She is an adult most of the time

and then becomes a kid every so often.

It's complicated. If
you're weirded out by it,

join the club.
- If you guys had read his

very spicy autobiography,
you would've already

known all this, so.

- We died, but we're brought back

to life by a phoenix egg.

- Ah, the last phoenix egg.

- Yeah.
- Yes.

- Was that a relative of yours?

- Most likely. Phoenixes are all

related, as celestial creatures.

- Oh.
- This is

the Compass Points Library.

Who are all of you?
- It's so nice to meet you.

I'm just here to learn a spell.

- Riz Gukgak, yes, we're here

for a spell.
- I'm Figueroth Faeth,

and we're taking down the Nightmare King.

- Did Arthur Aguefort promise
you a creature of some kind?

- Yes. I paid him handsomely to make me

a really cool creature
I could ride around on.

- Also, we're not taking down
- Then we got really cool

- van, so we haven't really
- The Nightmare King. We're

- needed it.
- just getting his crown back.

- I just wanna make that clear.

- I apologize to you, Figueroth Faeth.

Though you have insulted me

almost immediately upon meeting me,

you find yourself in the unfortunate

but all too common position
of having been lied

to by Arthur Aguefort.

- You think he scammed me?

My principal scammed me?

- You are adventurers of the
Aguefort Adventuring Academy.

- Yes, yeah, absolutely. Also-

- I'm Kristen Applebees,
no relation to apple bees.

- That's nothing.

What you are about to
say would be crazy to say

because there's no relation to anything

'cause why would there be?

- I was saying Applebees like when you

go to an apple store and
you get bit by a bee.

- I have a spell for that, if you'd like.

- Really?

- Yes.
- Wait.

You're saying that us as students

going to stop the Nightmare King

for 60% of our grade

and being put in
life-threatening situations

nearly constantly is a scam?

- Is he a scam
artist? Is school a scam?

- Hm. Hm.

- I like school a lot.

- I bet you would.

- Oh! Battle, battle!

- Dance battle.

- We're here to learn the Sending spell.

And by we, I mean I.

I don't know why my friends are here

because they are embarrassing me.

- I understand. Listen.

There is an obstacle before us

if your quest here is to learn a spell.

And that obstacle is this,

I don't want to help you.

- Ah.
- Oh, so by us,

you mean us?

- What?
- And not you?

- Well, we're not-

- I require seed.

She flies out the window.

- Wait, wait.
- Wait, wait.

- Is there anything we can do for you?

- I cast- wait, wait! I cast-

I don't have it.
- Garthy O'Brien sent us.

- What?

- Garthy O'Brien sent us!
- Yes.

- You see, she flies around
and says, "That name!"

- Do you have your letter?
- Is a good one?

- It's the name of my close friend.

- They're tough to read.
- They gave us a

a slip that says that-

- Oh yes, I
have a piece of paper.

- Yes. We're not here just because.

- Why? Are you bragging?

I have many slips of paper.

- It's specific.
- It's a specific piece

of paper with a letter from Garthy on it.

- Do you give this as
a gift or as a message?

- I give it as a message.

I would never give you a gift.

You've made it clear
that you do not want one.

- I wish for no gifts.

- But if you would like to
buy this message off of me,

you're more than welcome to.

- Much as a candle can
light a second candle

without diminishing its own light,

I give you back your message unchanged

for I have your message now, as do you.

- This is so
painful 'cause this is what

I'm like emotionally, right?

- No.

- What am I like emotionally? Explain.

- Oh, no, no, no. I'm saying what the way

that you are so transactional,

never allowing for any
moment of tenderness,

that's me in my life.

- I think people
think you're very tender.

- Tenderest person that I know.

- Have I given you any reason

to believe that I'm not tender?

- No.
- There's a lot.

There's an intensity in your-

- Why?

- There's a lack of vulnerability.

You know, the fact-
- Where?

- I think you're cool.
- The fact that you fear

a debt when sometimes
our debts to each other

are what bond us to each other

in the most beautiful way possible.

My god.
- Society is built on debt.

- We don't need
to save everyone's debts.

- I hit you and I'm like,

Get some seed out of the jacket.

- What? I'm not-

- Do not feed this person.

- Listen.

- So you're friends with Garthy, huh?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, we love them.

- I can teach you a spell
if you teach me a spell,

then the transaction is clear.

- I will teach you a spell

for the going rate of 50
gold pieces per spell level.

- What level is Sending?

- Three.
- Oh, it's a third-level spell

so that's 150 gold.

- I'll throw in 50.

We all gotta send some messages

back to the mainland.

- Ah, I see.

You have discovered
information here on Leviathan

that you dearly wish to
communicate to your friends

and allies on the mainland.
- Yes.

- Fascinating.

- Someone's mother is in danger.

- Whose?

- My girlfriend's really mad at me.

- Whose? Yours?

Why? What have you done?
- Yeah, well.

Oh god, this feels kinda complicated

to explain right now.

- Our friend's mom might die.

This is more impor- sorry, it's more-

- Your friend's mother might die.

Does she then possess some
chance at immortality?

- She's being hunted.

- She will have died- we will
all die eventually I think.

- Okay, so but
she's gonna die sooner.

- I would love
to give you 150 gold

for this spell.

- Can I give you 400 gold to get-

- What?
- No.

- To get, wait, oh, actually 200 gold

to get Greater Invisibility.

- That's not how bards work.

- If you would like a copy

of the wizard spell Greater Invisibility,

I would be happy to take 200 gold.

- Well, it is also a bard spell.

- For sure.

- So, you know Garthy and so do we.

And it kinda seemed
like since they sent us,

maybe this could be a little bit easier?

Are we bothering you?

Does Garthy send a lot of people this way?

- I'll answer your question truly.

I find you tremendously bothersome.

- Thank you.
- However, there's also

much that you bring in
the way of information,

and I find myself transfixed
by your strangeness.

- Yes, very mutual.

- Her eyes do that eagle thing.

And they're made of fire,

so she is extremely hard to read.

She looks at you and says, "Yes,

you are looking for answers in a book

for a question you have long posed.

Questions are good,

are they not, to seek something?

But what if there is nothing

at the end of your
journey, nothing to find?

And the long years of questioning

lead you thirsty and
mad, filled with hunger?"

- I would be bummed, but

maybe asking questions is the answer.

- Probably not.

- Would...

I think we have maybe
some larger questions,

but then also some smaller questions

that have very specific answers.

- Very well, I shall answer them if I can.

- Can we have that spell?

- Yes.

- Can you see this cat?

- There is no cat in this photograph.

- Yes, but do you see-

who do you see in that?

- I see a goblin man.

- Do you listen to music?

- Yes.
- Wait, hold on.

Let's keep on the same

line of questioning.
- What school of magic

do you study?
- What's that?

- What school of magic do you study?

- Divination.

- Me too!
- Fascinating.

- Fascinating.
- Can we-

- Are you aware
of any kind of creature

that would only be visible to someone

who had seen it before?

- How would that work?

- So we see a cat in this picture.

- I don't.
- If you can only-

- Some of us can't see it.

- If you can only see it
if you've seen it before,

then only the people
who can already see it

would ever be able to see it,

and nobody new would
ever be able to see it.

- Yeah, that's what
we think is happening.

- Yeah, well, no, there's a-

- But nobody-
- See them in real life,

and then you can see them

in the picture, maybe.
- The rules of the game

have changed perhaps.

- Or not. The logic doesn't hold up,

but it is fascinating.

- I find that the most
curious instances of magic

are those where the logic

specifically doesn't hold up.

Study of magic is, of course,

a study of the edge
cases and the marginal,

where the rules of physics

and reality bend to the
will of individuals.

Very curious indeed.

Did my father talk about me?

- All the time, constantly.

- Give me a Deception check.

- Can I give her the Help action?

- Yeah, if you want.

- 21.
- 21.

She looks at you and says,

"Deeply unlike him,

but I find myself very moved."

- Yeah.
- You know, your father

was often pissed off by the things

I said unintentionally.

- Yes, why?

Are you bad?
- I would say things-

I don't think I'm bad.

I think I would accidentally make him mad

by saying things that maybe

threatened him in some
way. Not physically.

- I understand. You seem

simple, to me.

- Oh, thank god. Yeah.

- You see, she says, "It's
an enviable position.

There is no way to pursue the craft

that my father and I both pursue

and your friend Adaine, as well."

- I could probably do it.

- Oh?

- What is-
- I spit my tea.

- What's a telescope

but a spyglass pointed at the stars?

- Whoa, that's so good.

That's gonna be one of our songs.

- What's your favorite spell?
- What?

Hush, I must solve this riddle.

And you see that she flies up to a perch.

What is a telescope but a
spyglass pointed at the stars?

Anyone can make an Insight
check that wants to.

- 19.

- Nat 20.

- Ooh.
- Nat 20.

- You're looking at her,

and she is just extremely

her father's daughter. She is just-

- Anytime, with that spell.

- Gorgug?

Your name is Gorgug?
- Yeah, yeah.

- That is my name.

- I believe you'd be the
greatest wizard of this age.

- I look at Adaine, whoa.

- Let me-
- I don't look at anyone.

It's too awful.

- Should I learn the Sending spell?

To be frank, gotta be clear.

Clean slate, no spells.

- Yes, a clean slate.

The mind clutters

as the years of study

wear on and on.

Sometimes I think that
the greatest wizards

are themselves burdened by
the taxing mental weight

of all their past knowledge.

A clean slate, you may be capable

of the greatest spellwork in generations.

Give him the Sending spell.

- So...

Do you just read it until you know it

or how- do you...

- Very good.

You're hired.

- Hired?

- Good for you, man.
- 150 gold pieces.

And I will honor this favor

of my friend, Garthy O'Brien,

and give you the spell.

- Let's do it.

- Yep.
- Yep, thank you.

- Cool, you guys erase that gold.

- Who? Who paid for it?

Do we need more?
- I'll pay for it for now.

I've got it.
- I can also go in.

- We'll pay you back later.

- Great.

- You see that...

You get the Sending spell.

It's given to you, the manuscript.

You can make a little
mark in your spell book

as you put Sending, which is
a third-level spell in there.

This is actually a modified version

from a pirate spell book.

- Okay.
- Sending normally

has a 25-word limit

in the message that goes out

and the message that comes back.

Ancient pirate mages of long ago

found a way to slightly modify the spell.

So curse words and swears

don't count against the word limit

of this version of the Sending spell.

So if you get creative,

you can actually, you know,

transmit really long messages with this

as long as they are...
- Uh-huh, uh-huh.

- Are we not supposed to curse?

Well, there you go.

- What about pirate curses?

- Yeah, pirate curses, exactly.

- Shiver me timbers, et cetera.

- Et cetera, et cetera.
- Timber's a curse, right?

- Yes, yes, yes, of course.

- So you're a timber.
- So that would be two words.

- Yeah, we're
absolutely timbered.

- Oh, a lot of math
conversions in this session.

- You guys see-

So Adaine, it's gonna take
you six hours to sit down-

- Great.
- and fully transcribe

this spell.
- Thank you so much,

everybody.

- While that's happening,

does anyone wanna look
for a forbidden section?

- Yup.

- Cool.
- Can I...

Are there any sort of
"Intro to Wizard" books

I can just...

- She comes over to
you, looks at you again.

- Keep in mind, I just
wanna be completely clear,

eight Intelligence.

- She comes over to you

and holds your head in both hands.

I'm looking at a perfectly serene lake

of still, clear water.

Unburdened-
- Where? Oh.

- It's a metaphor. Hold on.
- Okay.

- You are completely
unburdened by the weight

and sorrow of intellect.

Your mind as empty

and free of trappings

or weight as anything I've ever seen.

It is like staring at a clear

and cloudless sky, completely beautiful.

I forbid you to ever read
a single word of wizardry.

- Got it. I won't.

Give me a book and I'll cut it in half.

- You are beautiful to me.

- Thank you.
- Wow,

Gorgug's got a new girlfriend.

- I don't! Come on.

- No one tell Zelda.
- Gorgug's gonna get HPV.

- You're dating the headmaster's daughter?

- Immediately assume she has HPV?

- No, I just mean that-
your parents would-

- You guys have been crazy
rude since you got here.

- Look, I didn't mean
to say that within earshot.

Wanna go look for books
on the Nightmare King?

- Yeah, I do, I do.

- You wish to study the Nightmare King?

- Yes. I also have a question,

and it's a sincere question.

You're studying the sky.

Do you think that there's anything-

And you're a divination wizard.

Do you believe that the sky

has any insight into the future

or even the present?

Or do you study it as a matter

of curiosity of the stars?

- I study it so I can know

where this big city is floating.

- Okay, that's a very

practical reason.
- That's a reasonable...

- Sort of navigational.
- Yeah, that's honestly

why I asked, cool.
- Yeah, good.

- So I don't have any
interest in the stars.

- Do you know?
- Can you also

look for books on the Elven Oracle?

Feels like this might be a place

where there will be more information.

- Yeah.

- Yes.
- Yeah, do you know much

about the Nightmare King?

We're trying to get the crown.

- I actually have another thing.

- Yes.

- Do you have any books on cursed gems?

- Books on cursed gems?

I might like to read.
- You might be surprised

to know that the interest of pirates

in various cursed gems is quite high.

- That's what I thought.

- Yes, absolutely.

Each of you guys can go ahead

and make an Arcana check with advantage

as you are in this library.

- Can I investigate?

- Sure.
- 19!

- 19, hell yeah.
- Nice.

And that's with plus two

Arcana, so.
- 13.

- Ooh, I got a 27.

- Cool. You got 27 for Investigation?

- 13.
- 13.

We'll start with Kristen.

What's Kristen looking for here?

- Anything about the Nightmare King,

I think I'm looking for a project.

- I think I'm also looking
for Nightmare King as well.

- Can I look for something, too?

- Yeah, for sure.

What'd you get?

- I got two.

- Two? Okay.

- I'm looking for a book on

"so your friend's sad."

- So your friend is sad, yeah.

- Can I go check on- is The
Hangman outside the library?

- Yes, the van is still out there.

- Can I go check on him?

- Yes.
- Can I grab him

as he's about to leave and be like, "No"?

- Just going outside.

- No, just think- it's buddy
system from here on out,

and we almost lost you.
- I'm gonna be right outside

with the van.

- You see Ragh looks at you, Kristen,

and says, "I got him. I'm good, I'm good."

- Okay.

- Ragh goes out with you
to check up on The Hangman.

Cool, you go outside to
check up on The Hangman.

What do you do to sort of check on it?

- Can I get...

I don't know what a mechanics check is,

but can I see how badly I've damaged it?

- This is gonna be an
untrained Intelligence check.

- Great. I love that.

It's a nat one.

- What?
- Get new dice!

My Lord.

- Fabian's gonna
have to do backflips

to keep this thing alive.

- The Hangman is fully gone.

On a nat one,

it's full- it's destroyed.

The sword went directly through it.

The motorcycle is broken.

As you go to investigate,
you fumble through.

And, you know, just a big chunk

of the engine block falls out.

And Ragh goes, "Oh,

man, you can probably fix that."

- I probably can, Ragh.

I can probably fix that.

I know I can.

- Do you wanna get under
some blankets, man?

You're sweating so much.

- I think I have pneumonia.

I'm not used to being sick.

I'm so rich,

I don't normally get normal sickness.

- Yeah, like poor people sick?

- Yeah. I'd get, like, rich people sick,

like ate too much caviar

or like I smoked, you know,

I smoked cigar for too long.

I don't get, like, poor, normal sick.

- I wouldn't know anything about that.

See he goes, "Okay, man, hey!

Dude, there you go, dude, just get it out.

Just f*cking boot and rally, dude.

You're good, man, just..."

Okay, well.

- Hey, Ragh.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, I don't feel good.

I just don't feel good.

- I hear you, man.

I think, you know, I am- you know,

I have one emotion that
I use to process stuff,

and it's rage.

And I don't know how to be angry

if my mom is dead a full continent away.

You're going through
some stuff with your dad.

We've full stop, you know, dude.

We are some dudes who,

for real, have not processed.

And honestly, you know,

when I think about what

I would have to do, you know,

I get pissed. You know?

'Cause it's like I just made it here

to where I'm, like,
comfortable in my own skin.

You know what I mean?

And then something bad
happens on top of that,

and it's like, "Hey, is this bad enough

that I'm gonna lose all
the progress I made?"

You know what I mean?

And I'm like, "I have gotta
k*ll something, you know?"

- Yeah.

- So you know, hoot, growl!

- Growl.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- You wanna sit in the back of the van?

Just sit? Yeah.

- He covers you with some blankets

in the back of the van.

Cathilda comes in a moment later

as the two of you are sitting
in the back of the van.

Ragh is just dead-eyed
thousand-yard stare.

Cathilda comes in with food for you both,

with some piping hot soup.

She sits next to you and she says,

"Well, Master Fabian, have you

taken a look at your motorcycle?

It's not looking too good, is it?"

- It's looking really bad, Cathilda.

It's like- I, like,

did a great job in doing a bad thing,

like, really stabbed it well

in a moment where I wish
I hadn't done a good job.

- Oh, Master Fabian, I'm so sorry.

It's been a hard day.

Well, here's the truth.

Hard days come and they go, and as

impossible as it might seem right now,

you'll take one step, and then the other,

and it'll be hard as can be,

and step by step, you'll move further

and further away from
this bad day, all right?

- But for what, Cathilda? What?

Just a bunch of, I don't know.

Maybe I'll just be eating banana yogurt

in a mansion

filled with mementos

to a life that wasn't mine.

- She looks at you and says,

"There's no pirate

who can see the horizon in a squall.

That doesn't mean it's not there."

And she starts to rub

little circles on your shoulder.

And she starts to sing

a little song in Halfling

that you recognize.

There's a little song in Halfling

that you remember.

She used to sing it to you.

She hasn't sung it to you in years,

but she used to sing
it to you all the time

when you were very little.

And your dad would be gone

for long periods of time.

And your mom was sort of,
like, on a long bender.

And there'd be times when you were back

at like Castle Bonvois on the open seas.

And it's just a light
little Halfling tune.

And you have tons of memories of, like,

skinning your knee, or
falling on a ship deck,

or something like that,

and her finding you and making you well.

And you remember the hundreds of times

that Cathilda has done this for you

although it maybe hasn't
happened in, like,

years at this point.

You watch as she like,
you know, trails off.

And after a certain point,

you can feel a little bit your

shoulder start to relax.

Go ahead and give me a
Constitution savings throw.

- Nat one.

- I'm taking them.

I'm taking them.
- I can't believe this.

- And I'm gonna throw them in the garbage.

- What?

- You have- mark down

that you have a level of exhaustion,

and you are also...

We're actually gonna put you

at two levels of exhaustion, cool?

- Good lord.

- Two different dice.

- So your speed is halved.
- Stop here.

- Speed is halved, skill
checks at disadvantage.

- Keep your dice.

- Cool. Back inside,
our investigating crew-

I'm gonna say that

Riz and Kristen-

- Riz and Kristen.

- I'm glad Fabian's
getting some air.

He probably needed it.

It's probably doing him some good.

- Probably doin' great.
- Yeah.

- Riz and Kristen, you guys are both

looking for Nightmare King stuff,

so I'm saying that you guys look together.

You end up going into a
religious studies section.

- Oh, cool.

- Of the library, where Riz,

you're kinda investigating
the Nightmare King.

There's, you know, a fair amount.

The library here's kinda sparse

when it comes to this,
like, high-occult stuff.

It's a much more practical library

for the most part.

But you do find some stuff

about the hidden gems

and jewels of Sylvaire.

There's a lot of maps here.

And you find in these old

treasure maps of Sylvaire that

there are religious texts

to a temple of a forgotten god.

You rolled a 27 on your

Investigation check, right?
- Mm-hmm.

- It looks like there is a temple

somewhere in this place that, like,

might've had some treasure
that pirates long ago

would've gone and sought
out or tried to find

prior to, like, the reign of Kalvaxus.

Looking at the information

available to you in this book,

as you get into the section of maps

that talk about Sylvaire,

you look at this religious text, Kristen,

that Riz has sort of found.

Go ahead and make a Religion check for me.

- What a ride, okay.

- Rolled for a while.

- It's a nine.

- Cool, there's a lot of mystery here.

The main thing you come away with is that

that god is never named
in any of the texts.

And you know enough about religion

to know that that is really damn weird.

- Yeah.

- Because there's a lot of specifics.

There's imagery of like wood elves

and centaurs and unicorns.

There's specific names
for some of the relics

that were in this dungeon.

There's a lot of stuff, you
know, about what pirates-

Some of them were, like, crossed out.

There's notes in the market
from certain pirates being like,

"Yeah, we went here and
successfully stole this stuff."

But there's just never
a mention of the name

of the actual god in question.

- And this is on an island?

- This is in Sylvaire.

This is in the Forest
- This is in Sylvaire?

of the Nightmare King.
- Yeah, this is

in the Forest of the
Nightmare King, right?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- Does it look like-
- Can you guys, like,

take a picture on your crystal of-

like, if there's any pictures that

might look like this temple?

- I think we're
just gonna steal it.

We're just gonna take the book.

- Riz, welcome to the dark side.

- Go ahead and give me
a Sleight of Hand check

if you could be so kind?

- Sweet. Kristen, cover me.
- Mm-hmm.

Can I get advantage?
- You may get-

- I say, you know-

- You have to beat a 10 on a Stealth check

to give Riz advantage.

- Okay.
- Kristen.

- I say, you know a
lot of people have HPV!

Hey, here we go, okay.

Oh, negative three, okay.

That's nine!

- That's a nine!

You do not get advantage
on your Stealth check.

- Right.

- You're a little.

- Kristen won't stop talking about HPV,

and it makes it very hard
for you to do anything.

- I'm just saying.

- Stealth or Sleight of Hand?

- Sleight of Hand.

- Not as good.

14.

- I'm gonna roll this and-

Actually, let's bring out our old friend,

the Box of Doom!

- No.
- Which is now successfully

ready for our little live stream.

Hold on one second. Cool.

- Aw.

- Our old buddy, the Box of Doom.

You had a 14.

- Yep.

- The pirates here have a
plus six to their Perception.

- Great, good.

- Eight or higher does the trick.

Seven!

- Yay! Yes.

- How about it?

- Wow.

- Lovely.

So you grab this tome,

slip it into your inventory,

and walk away.

What else are we looking for?

- I'm looking for
anything about cursed gems

or people being kept in objects.

- Hell, yeah. And you got a 16?

- I got a 19.

- Oh, you got a 19.

- Yeah.
- Awesome.

- Which is I only have plus two to Arcana,

so I rolled really high.

- That's great.

You do find- I'm gonna
say it's a pirate library.

You see that there is a
large tome of various curses

and charms called "Breaking the Evil Eye,"

and there's an entire chapter in it

that seems to be successfully stealing

and breaking the curses on treasure.

- Okay, I desperately wanna steal this,

so I'm gonna use a disguised self

to look like the guy from the front

and then walk out with the book.

- Great, give me a Deception roll.

- Don't you have to walk

past the guy?
- Yeah.

- I'm gonna walk out one
of the back entrances.

Back exits.
- Cool, very good.

Go ahead and roll that for me.

- That's gonna be a 17.

- Okay, plus six.

Back in the Box of doom.

- Here we go now.

- Is it 11 or higher?

- 11 or higher.

That's a nat two!

- Oh, yes! Yes!

- So you walk out.

- My Sleight of Hand is bad, man.

This is how I had to do it.

- Yeah, you see that Ayda Aguefort,

by the way, comes up.

Oh, by the way, and Ayda, her name

with on when you actually
hand the note over

is spelled alliteratively.

- A-I-D-A.
- So it's A-Y-D-A Aguefort.

You see that Ayda Aguefort
looks at you and says,

"Rawlins, where are you
going with that book?"

- Yeah, it's my lunch break.

I deserve a break, too.

- Debatable. I'm not sure
that you deserve a break

or that any of us do.

However, I don't feel like
stopping you right now.

- Look at how fast I could run.

And then I run.

- You see that she peers down

and just observes you running.

She says, "Faster than
I imagined, Rawlins."

- Oh my god.

Oh my god.

- Wonderful. So I think the only people

that are sort of left that are not

stealing from the library
are Adaine and Gorgug.

- Yet.

- Yeah, Gorgug's just gonna
go up to the real Rawlins

and talk to him. Hey.

- Can I help you? Yeah.

- So I'm looking for just any sort-

is there a section...

I am allowed to read wizard books

that aren't about wizarding, right?

- Yeah.
- You know, right?

- You're allowed to read anything.

- Look.
- You're allowed to read

whatever you like.
- Awesome. So I'm just trying-

My buddy kinda had a big old bad day,

and I'm looking for anything

that's like about cheering up friends,

helping them get through some

hard times.
- Aw.

- And if there's any kind
of book section on that?

Are pirates big on books on
cheering up your friends?

- Go ahead and give me

just a flat Intelligence check.

- Ooh.

- Well, 14 minus 1, so.

- Oh, you see, he looks and says,

"Oh, I can bring you to
the Friendship section

if you would like."

- Pirate friendship.
- That's so cute.

- Yes. Here on Leviathan,

we just call it the Friendship section.

Because everything here is pirate.

So we don't-
- All right. I don't

have to add that?

- You don't have to add that.

- Cool.

- Right this way.

As he walks off, he says,

"I haven't seen your young friends about.

Are they perusing the selection?"

- Yeah, I think, I don't know.

- This is the Friendship section.

And you see he gestures to a small

little dusty shelf

with a couple of little books and-

- Those big Legos?

- The little books, and parchments,

and stuff like that.

So he says, "Here is
the Friendship section."

- Okay, kinda not as
much as I was hoping for.

- You see, he's sort of, he smi-

Oh, make an Insight check.

- Nat one.

- Nat one, he's mad at you.

- If you didn't have a Friendship section,

you could have just told me.

- We do.
- We can talk.

- We do.
- I mean,

you don't have to, like,
mess around with me.

- I'm not- are you accusing me

of messing around with you? - It
just feels like you're kinda trying

to prank me right now.

- I run.

- There I go.

- There I go pranking people again?

- No, literally, there I go.

I'm running so fast.

- This is just a weird
old man prank, clearly.

What? This is like, you
know, sticking humor.

- Who are you calling an old man?

- You, you're a stupid old man.

- Hey, I command the seven winds

and the nine stars.

Secrets of the deep have I learned.

I can summon the ancient krakens

of seas long gone.

Spirits of wind and wave do answer my call

and at my beck and command.
- I steal his book.

Go ahead and give me a
Sleight of Hand check.

- Okay.
- Oh god.

- Can I have Boggy help me?

- Yes, you can.

- I got a not nat 20.

- You yank the book out of his chains.

He turns into a skeleton

and collapses in a pile of bones.

- Ah!

- I put the book back.

- You put the book back,

and he comes back together in a pile

and starts screaming.

That just gives me meat.

The book in the chains just gives me meat.

It doesn't put me back the right way!

- Yes?
- Can I help you? I'm sorry.

- Take the book out!

Hiding those.
- I take the book.

- Bones.

- Okay, let's arrange the bones in the way

that would make it a human being.

- I'm gonna keep doing the studying.

You do that.

- Ah.

Why have you done this to me?
- Wow, wow!

- Why have you done this to me?

- Wow!

- I just wanted to learn how

to control the seven
winds and the nine stars.

- I'm gonna look at the
shelf on friendship.

- Cool.

- Just leaves him in a pile.

- What do you, what do you...

Do you start looking for something,

a book on friendship?

Go ahead and just give me
a Dexterity saving throw,

which you'll give me with advantage.

- I have advantage, right?

- Yeah, you have advantage.

Yeah, absolutely.

That's only a seven- no, five.

Yeah, five.
- Ooh, only a five.

You end up going in.

You push the shelf,

and you see that it's
open as a secret door.

You look in golden light,

vast and countless towering shelves,

with ladders attached to rails

that wheel around the
outskirts, are hundreds

or perhaps thousands of tomes

dedicated to the subject of friendship.

- Oh.

- They love
friendship here.

- On the back of the little
shelf that you see there,

you see that there's an inscription.

And you see it says,
"Much like this shelf,

friendship may at first seem humble,

but beyond the drab exterior

lies a golden treasure

greater than any ship's bounty.

Go with love, me hearties."

- Gorgug cries a little bit

and walks into this room.

- Great. You walk to the room.

The little door closes behind you,

and you're in a vast room
devoted to friendship.

- Hello?

Okay, well,

I'm gonna take out my
Compass Point Library card

and see if it points to anything.

- You see that the Compass Points Library

does start to point.

You see the little compass things,

which shifts around a little bit.

And you see that there is
a small book on a shelf

called "Cheer Up Me Hearties."

- I'm going to pick that one up

and exit the- .

- You exit from the shelf.

And you see that several

large muscle-bound pirates

have apprehended Gilear

and have him face down on the ground.

And they're like, "What
did you do to Rawlins?"

And he's like, "I've done nothing to-

I don't understand.

I just found these bones,

and I started to pick them up!

I thought I was helping."

- Someone else did that.

- Was that?

- Someone else did that.

- Wait, how do you
know? You didn't see it.

- I did see it,

but I didn't know what to do about it

'cause it seems hard to figure-

Do you know how to fix him?

- Are you still holding the book

by the way?
- Yeah, yeah.

- He's like, "You got
Rawlins's book in your hands!"

- Wait, this is the
"Cheer Up My Hearties."

- Oh no, you,

because you were gonna fix Rawlins,

so you're still holding
Rawlins's book, right?

- Oh, right, okay.
- The pirate magic.

- Listen, I have two books in my hand.

One of them is his book.

Yeah, this is his book.

But I took it out 'cause
when I put it back in,

I'll put it back in for a second.

- Ah, please, it's worse than death!

- So I just thought it
would be be better for him

to not have it on him.

- You see, they look...

Go ahead and give me a Persuasion check.

- Ooh.

19.

- Hey.

- They look and they
say, "It's a good man.

That's a good man, what you done

for poor Rawlins here.

Not like this lousy layabout!"

They start shaking Gilear.

- I really- he didn't do anything.

I don't even think he was here when-

- I've never done anything!

I've never done anything!

- He's never done anything, that's true.

- With my life, with anyone, please help.

And you see that the two pirates say,

"Is this codger yours?

He's one of your mates?"

- Yeah, he's kind of-
well, he's like my friend.

- Please speak more enthusiastically

on my behalf, Gorgug.
- Yes, you know what?

He is one of my mates.

- Oh, it hurts to have to ask for it.

You see the pirates let go of him,

and they say, "Well, this is not

the first time this has happened.

We'll take the book off your hand,

and we'll take Rawlins,
and we'll sweep him up,

and get Ayda to put him back together."

- Okay. You are all

good friends to him.

- Do you mean that?

- Yeah.

I got you.
- Well, you're a good man.

- I'm also-

- What?

- I'm a wizard too, so.

- Is that true?

- Yeah, pretty much.

- Ayda mentioned the
greatest wizard of the age.

- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, now I see it.

You see the two of them
sweep up the bones,

get the book, leave from that place.

The rest of you guys kinda
meet up out by the van.

And pretty much, I think,

it's Adaine is here with, I think,

Sandra Lynn would've stayed by your side

to let everyone else sort of run around

and do their shenanigans.

But the rest of you guys
sort of meet up by the van.

Couple hours pass by. You guys

do see that plume of smoke up

in the corner of the Crow's Keep.

- Can I start reading my book?

- Yeah, absolutely.

- And see if I find
anything about cursed gems?

I'm also kind of interested

if there's something about, like,

taking a soul that's
been bound in an object

after the object's been
destroyed and saving it.

You don't find anything about-

'cause pirates wouldn't have any interest

in destroying a piece of treasure

that they were trying to get.
- I see, okay.

- But they do talk about
specifically things

that are bound to gems.

And you see that there's a little charm

that can affect the Plane Shift spell.

And it basically says,
if a curse has effects

hidden within a cursed object

that are effectively obscured

or obfuscated from your
ability to interact with them,

what you can do is actually Plane Shift

inside of the cursed object

to get an interior landscape

to see the hidden effects.

So in other words, the contingency effect

that would k*ll Gorthalax

if you tried to break this curse,

you could potentially
Plane Shift into the gem,

dispel that effect,

and then break the original curse.

- Adaine, do you have
seventh-level spells?

- Okay, something to work for.

Okay.

- Is Plane Shift seventh level?
- Yeah.

- I was wondering if I can-

- I have Blink that changes
the plane that I'm on,

but only onto the Ethereal Plane.

- Oh, okay.

- Can I look at my "Subject
of World Religions" book,

and try to start cross referencing that

with this thing that we have to see

who may be the unnamed deity is?

- Yeah, absolutely. Give
me another Religion check.

- Got it. All right.

- And just to be clear,

does it look like there's
a name omitted or is it-

- Let's see this roll, and I'll see

what you guys find.
- Okay.

- Eh, there we go, 20 but not nat.

- 20, not nat.

You look at this.

There are a lot of gods

that existed in Sylvaire

back in the days of old.

The wood elves had their own god,

the centaurs did as well.

The gods of, like, the treants

are a little bit mysterious.

The faeries that lived
there kind of were chaotic

and kind of almost celestial
themselves, a little bit.

They were sort of otherworldly themselves.

And then very little is written

about the role that unicorns

played in that forest.

But you do see that there is...

In other words

there are a lot of things

that this god could have been,

and there are elements of like,

oh, there were other deities at the time.

This could be this person,

it could be this person,
could be this person.

With a dirty 20,

a lot of it doesn't match for you.

Like, you're looking at what

your book has to say about it,

and it's sort of- you are able

to, kind of frustratingly,

rule out a lot of the things in the book.

In a way, that makes you confused.

You're like, "Man, this is, like,

if there's this treasure
map in this thing,

where the name is-"
and like you're saying,

Riz like, almost omitted,

it would be weird that it
wouldn't be represented here.

And yet, you're looking at it,

and you're like, "Yeah, there's
nothing here about this."

- Adaine, could you maybe

Dispel Magic on this

or sense if there's magic?
- I could, but if

it's Illusory Script,

then a Dispel Magic will destroy it.

- Ehh.

- I mean, the original script

and the illusion both disappear,

is what happens if it's Illusory Script.

- I could cast Detect Good and Evil,

and see if we're getting a
vibe from either of those.

'Cause wouldn't Nightmare King-

- I could do a Detect Magic on it.

- Do you wanna do Detect Magic?

- Mm-hmm.
- That's not a bad idea.

- Yeah, or I could also
do the Identify spell.

- Would that tell us if it was

- Enchanted?
- Yeah.

- Yeah, it says if it's a magic item.

- Okay.

- Or a magic-imbued object.

- Cool, let's do it.

- Great. I cast the Identify spell

on this book about this unseen god.

Unnamed god.
- Okay. You-

- Great.
- You're casting...

On this book of religion
of this unseen god,

the one that has the original maps on it?

- Yeah.
- Cool.

You go ahead and cast the Identify spell.

Ah, yes, this is another
use of the Identify spell.

The hefty tome that you
now hold in your hands

is a perfectly normal book.

- Well, at least
he was efficient. - Well.

- Great.
- Oh, great.

All right.
- Okay.

- Why is the voice in my head a man?

- So.

- Why would you assume that?

- Wow!

Wow. Wow, Adaine.
- Ooh, open your mind.

- Damn, Adaine.

- It's my brain, guys.

It's my brain.

- Wow.
- What if you take a picture

on your crystal of the picture?

- Oh, and see if it's,
like, the Shadow Cat?

- Yeah, can you see and-

- And see if things don't show up?

- I'm curious to see if you took a picture

of the picture, if we could see it.

You know, if it's a picture you took.

- Oh, so nothing to do with the book,

just take a picture
- Oh, of the Shadow Cat.

- of the picture?
- Yeah, I like it.

- All right, I'm gonna take a picture

of the Shadow Cat picture.

- Okay, you take a picture

of the Shadow Cat picture on your crystal.

- Yeah.

- Hold on one second.

- And then put it
into Photoshop and see what

the color profile is.
- And then if you see it...

- Yeah, change
the contrast on it.

- The picture you took
can maybe-

- Okay, you take a picture of the picture.

You can see the Shadow
Cat in your crystal.

You guys cannot.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- All right.
- Right.

- Interesting.

- I'm just ruling out things.

- Great.

- Cool.

- So this is the last time- so...

What do we know about the unicorn again?

It was- the last time people saw it

was when the Nightmare King

came into our realm, right?

- The great unicorn?

- The great unicorn or
something like that.

What did this say about the unicorn?

- Just that the unicorns-

there wasn't much known about

who they worship?
- There wasn't much known

about them, yeah.

In the treasure map that
you guys see of that area,

whatever this sort of unnamed god is,

you find stuff in it

that seems to include elements

of every culture that was present

in Sylvaire at the time, in these temples.

So a god big enough to
be partially revered

or at least acknowledged by five separate

types of beings that inhabited Sylvaire,

not being anywhere

in your religious text is weird.

It is weird enough that

it is actually extremely noteworthy.

- Yes.
- Did they reference

how this god was
celebrated, or worshipped,

or what the practices were like?

Because what if the Nightmare King

is just a god who got pissed?

A vengeful god?

- Is there some kind
of cleric on Leviathan?

- Well, isn't

Tracker?
- Garthy?

- Isn't Tracker?

- Yeah, but maybe like a pirate

cleric.
- Oh, got it.

- Oh, there are a lot
of pirate clerics here.

Pirate clerics tend to
subscribe to a model

where they will often keep shrines

to every single god

they've ever come into
contact with to, like,

hedge their bets.

- So maybe they
know a lot about a lot of gods.

- That'd be cool.
- That's interesting.

- It feels like this god, and

forgive me if I'm stating the obvious,

is removing itself from history.

- It sounds like the Shadow Cat,

yeah.
- Yeah.

- Right?

- Yeah, I was wondering

the same thing.
- There's a lot of power

in people not knowing you exist.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Mm-hmm.

- You know, Zaphriel

also didn't know anything

about himself, the van.

- Yeah. Was that

something that was done to him, though?

- We don't know.

- Yeah, we don't know.

- He might have done it to himself.

He might be lying.
- Well, my dream

- We don't know
- before we took off

- anything about him.
- was that I couldn't draw

the face of my god. When
we all had our nightmares

before we took off?
- Oh, well, does that...

- That maybe you've been worshipping some

unnamed god by mistake?

- I don't know.
- Whoa.

- Are they trying to make
us forget everything?

- Everybody shut up, I
need to do my homework.

- Adaine eventually finishes her homework.

You guys have sort of eaten.

Fabian's very sick in the back of the van.

Ragh is back there having
a hard time, as well.

Cathilda is just tending
to the both of them.

Sandra Lynn is kind of
guarding over Adaine

while she studies.

Gilear is also playing it safe

in the van at the moment.

You see, eventually,

Ayda comes back over to you

as you are almost finished.

And you see she looks at you and says,

"I take it you're almost
done with the spell?"

- Yes, thank you. Yes.

- Very good, all right.

- If you see my father...

- Mm-hmm?

Tell him whatever you want.

No concern of mine.

- Oh, we can hang out if you like.

- What?

- I don't have any wizard friends.

- Why?

- I'm a wizard.

- I don't have any wizard friends.

- Are you hard to be around?

- No, I- no.

Are you hard to be around?

- Yes.

- Oh, do you want a friend?

- Desperately.

- Oh.
- I'll be your friend.

Would you like to hold my frog?

It's not a gift.

- She takes Boggy.

Utterly fantastic.

- Isn't he good?

- What level spell is this?

- Oh, it's just Find Familiar, it's-

- How?

- I can teach you it.

It'll cost you 50 gold per level.

- Very good.

- This is a first-level spell.

Your spellcraft would make it

seem much higher than that.

- Thank you!

- She hands Boggy back to you.

A truly fantastic frog.

I've misjudged you.

- Do you like my- he has a backpack.

- You see she says-

her eyes go wide.

You haven't seen her display much emotion,

but she says, "He has a tiny little

backpack that he wears?"
- It's just a tiny little

backpack. No, that I
wear that he lives in.

Oh, but you know what?
- Oh, that's also good.

- He should've, hang on.

I pull out a tiny little backpack.

- You see she goes, "No, it's too cute!"

Boggy happily puts on
a tiny little backpack

that he now wears.

- He wears a
backpack in a backpack?

- In the backpack, she says,

"There's a frog in that backpack

wearing a tiny little backpack."

- What's in his backpack?

- Oh, maybe a smaller frog.

You see Ayda looks at you and says,

"I cannot believe that I've met the two

greatest wizards of this
age on the same day.

You and your friend Gorgug

will surely either k*ll each other

or save this world."

And she begins to stride out of the room.

- I say, "Make it three."

And then I dismiss my Disguise Self.

- Rawlins, why have you disguised yourself

as this young woman?

- Oh, this is gonna be hard to explain.

I turn back into Rawlins.

- Rawlins, get back to the front desk.

- Okay, watch me run.

Watch-

- You see she looks at you and says,

"You did a very good job running earlier.

But I could do with even faster,

I'm being honest.

Many people steal books
from here, and we should

catch more of them."
- I desperately wanna please

her, so I run even faster.

- Very good. Faster, Rawlins, faster!

- I'm faster than her.
- You see she says,

"Adaine Abernant, you're welcome here

at the Compass Points whenever you wish.

And your companion Gorgug
Thistlespring as well.

Whatever knowledge that I can offer you,

I shall offer you a fair price for it.

Not only because you are gifted wizards

but because you took the time

to fill out a library card,

and we really need the funding.

I appreciate it."
- You're welcome.

- You see she turns around.

You guys return to the van and have

your Sending spell.

- I have a real quick question.

Was my book in a forbidden zone?

Or was it just a regular?
- It was, yes.

- Okay.

- So I don't have a card for Sending.

I can just-
- You need a card?

- A spell card.

- Oh.

- I have two third-level
spells left this day.

Do I send one...?

- You get a free response with it.

- Great. So I wanna send one

to Aguefort.
- To Ragh's mom.

- Yeah, 'cause she's kinda laid up,

yeah.
- Oh, right, yeah.

- And then one to Zelda.

- Yeah. Well, do you get,

could we just have Aguefort message Zelda?

I mean, I think-
- No, I'm saying

we could-
- I should talk to her.

But I also-
- I'm saying we shouldn't.

- Right, and I'm saying-

- We have 25 words per Sending.

- Yes.

- Plus curses and swears.

- Okay.

- That are PG-13 appropriate.

- So you can do two
third-level spells today?

- Yes, I have two fourth-level
spells as well but...

- I think the only thing...

I don't want you to use a spell on this

if you can use it tomorrow

'cause one is like a
life-threatening situation,

one is a situation

where I feel like I definitely

should handle but also
don't wanna need that spell

later in a fight or something.
- Okay, well,

let's come up

with a 25-word message to Arthur Aguefort.

"Avast, headmaster,

can you please check on Ragh's mom?

We think she might be in danger."

- Yeah, we could-
- I think let's be specific,

right?
- Yeah.

- Shadow Cat wants to k*ll

Ragh's mom.
- Shadow Cat threatened Ragh's mom,

wants to k*ll Ragh's mom.

Please keep her safe.
- Stop.

- Yeah, keep her safe.

- Batten down the hatches.

- Go immediately.
- Please protect her.

That's nine.
- Yeah.

- Maybe could tell my mom.

She could get the cops there, too.

- Yeah, get a detail on her.

- Yeah.

- Okay, tell-
- Can we tell- So,

Shadow Cat wants to k*ll Ragh's mom,

please protect her.

- Tell Sklonda.
- Tell...

- Sklonda.

- Does Aguefort know who Shadow Cat is?

That's sort of just what
we call this creature.

- I mean, her name is what, Kalinda?

- Kalina.

- Kalina.
- Kalina.

- Shadow Cat, AKA...

- Nightmare King-

- Nightmare King's agent Shadow Cat-

- Yeah.
- Perfect.

- One, two.

- Cool, that's all under 25.
- Nightmare King's agent

Shadow Cat.
- We got it, we got it.

Yeah, that's all we need.
- You guys send that off.

- Tell Zelda I'm sorry.

- You guys get a response
back almost immediately

from Principal Aguefort going,

"Ah, wonderful,

the use of a pirate Sending."

A spree of profanity

that is so specific that it actually

communicates a kind of intricate message

that he's gonna go check up on it.

And he says, "Stay where you are.

I'm gonna scry on you,

and then send a screening.

I'll send a screen to communicate with you

more in person."

So you guys are all in the van.

A minute or two later, a
screen

goes across the windshield of the van

that is kind of tilted to,

even though the windshield's at a tilt,

it just shows Arthur Aguefort there

in his suit.
- I was driving.

- While you're driving.

Ah!
- Ah!

- You see he goes, "Ah,
wonderful. My fine students.

Here, take a look!"

And he adjusts the screen.

Ragh's house is a smoking crater.

It is completely-

- I hold Ragh in a way

that turns him away from it.

- Ragh puts his head in his hands.

You see that Arthur looks

and says, "Utterly destroyed."

- And why did you
say that so enthusiastically?

- With everyone in it?

- Where's his mom?
- Well, a dead body.

- No!
- Who was in the-

- Just one dead body?

- Yes.

- Is it Ragh's mom?

- You see that he look in,

and you see that he says,

"Well, the body of Lydia Barkrock, yes."

- Oh.

- Can you bring her back?
- Was anything taken from her?

Didn't she have a gem?
- Crystal?

- A crystal inside of her?

- Yes, yes, she did.

- Can I do a Percep-

an Insight check to see?
- You wanna do

an Insight check?

- To see if this is actually Aguefort?

- Sure.

- 15.

- Aguefort doesn't seem that perturbed.

- Yeah.

- You see he says, "Yes,
the body of Lydia Barkrock

was k*lled, destroyed here."

And we're gonna have to get her

a new one, I guess, but...

- What are you talking about?

- What are you talking about?

- You can just get her
a new body? Reincarnate?

- Oh!

Yes, I've been meaning
to do this for some time.

Lydia Barkrock had a demon,

a very important demon, in a gem

that she had implanted into her chest.

So what I did was I went and cloned her,

took her real body,

put it into a temporal stasis

with the real gem in it,

took a sort of piece of
glass shaped like a gem,

a fabricated one, cast
Nystul's Magical Aura

so it would read as an artifact,

stabbed that into the clone.

And then what I did, is I Magic Jar

projected Lydia's consciousness

into this kind of puppet body

so that she would be
able to see, and speak,

and pilot it even though her real body

is actually in extradimensional space

about a mile underground beneath the

Aguefort Adventuring Academy.
- So she's not dead?

- Magic Jaw?

- Yeah, you said Magic Jaw.

- Jar.

- Jar, Magic Jar.

- In my accent, I drop the hard Rs.

- But that's a spell that

we've heard before.
- You see, Ragh says,

"Is my mom f*cking dead or not?"

- No, she's not dead!
- She's not dead.

She's not dead.
- And he says,

"Well, it's an interesting philosophical

point because one of her
bodies has been destroyed,

so her consciousness shot
back to her body prime.

But in a sense, she did experience death,

so... Very interesting."
- But she's still alive.

She's still alive, Ragh.

- Okay, good. I'm glad.

Were you ever gonna tell
me that you did that?

You see Arthur Aguefort says,

"My dear boy,

I truly forgot that I did that stuff.

It was on a list somewhere,

and I was going to eventually tell you.

But very troubling indeed

that somebody believes they
k*lled Lydia Barkrock."

- We saw your daughter.

- Which one?

- Oh.
- Ayda.

- Ayda! How is she doing?

Oh, I forgot her birthday.

I've forgotten many of her birthdays.

- Ooh.
- Where's my creature?

- Oh, I have many!

I've been working on it.

You didn't get back in touch with me.

- Yes, well, I'm in touch with you now.

Send it to-

I send him a pin.

- Oh, wonderful. They cost a
tremendous amount of money.

- Yeah, remember, I gave you money.

- No, you didn't.

- Okay, well, I said I'm
gonna give you money.

- Oh yeah, for sure.

You said you were going to.

Saying that you were going
to give someone money

and giving them money,

two of the most different
things in the world.

- I think if you're a rockstar,

they're actually the same.

- Yeah, everyone just
knows I'm worth the money

'cause they see all the
posters with my face on it.

- A lot of very famous artists

and creators are quite broke.

- Yeah, well, what do you got for me?

- Well-

- We'll talk about it another time.

Maybe this is the wrong day.
- Okay, the cheapest option

is the pentacorn, that's 30,000 gold, so.

Okay, I'm gonna Google
that and then we'll talk.

- All right.

- Pentacorn.

- Well, I'm very glad
that young Mr. Barkrock

is not without his mother.

I will get to work on making
another clone very quickly.

He goes, "Wait, so, like,

when I've been cuddling my mom

and stuff for, like, years,

it's not been her?"

And he goes, "No, my
boy, her consciousness

has been inhabiting a perfect replica

of her own real body

while her real body has been sort of

incorporeal and lodged in temporal stasis

deep beneath the crust
of the Earth.

- What level is-
- Magic!

- How do I learn a Magic Jar spell?

- Oh, it's very powerful.

- Why do people put people away

in stones with it?

- Why wouldn't you?

- How do you break one?

- Well, there's a couple ways.

A Wish spell would do it.

- Cool.

- A ninth-level spell?

A ninth level spell

would do it.
- A ninth-level spell, yes.

The good, the good stuff, yeah.

- This family is wild.

- Professor Aguefort.
- Yes.

- While I got you here,

do you know anything about unicorns?

- Oh, I know a tremendous
amount about unicorns.

- Who did they worship?

- I think I've quite forgotten.

- You forgot?

- Yes, I've forgotten.

I used to know and I don't know anymore.

That's troubling.
- No way.

- Is this like a forgetting thing

like you did with Lydia
Barkrock's body or like-

- Lydia Barkrock, I need to
tell her son that I've put-

- Okay, heavy forgetfulness.
- Can unicorns

turn into other things? Is that a thing?

- Forgotten to tell Lydia
that I've done that.

Lydia doesn't even know, I did it

while she was asleep.
- Can you see this cat?

- What?

- Do you see a cat?

- Hold on one second.

- Or a person
that looks like a cat?

- Right. It's-
- We don't know if-

I don't want him to take it very literally

and then be like, "I don't see a cat."

- You gotta be careful.

- Am I the only one of our little crew

that can see the cat?
- Tracker can see it.

- Tracker.

- And Tracker, like, over-

- And Sandra Lynn.

- Sandra Lynn.

- Sandra Lynn.

- Can Ragh see it?

- Ragh, yeah.
- Ragh can see it, yeah.

You see that Arthur says,

"I'm afraid I can't see a tabaxi

in that photograph, how strange?"

- Oh, that's so crazy
'cause we didn't say tabaxi,

we just said, "Do you see a cat?"

- Hmm?

- We just asked you, "Do
you see a cat in this?"

And you said, "I don't see a tabaxi."

- I read from your intonation

that you were using the
term cat to mean a tabaxi,

which, by the way, is extremely offensive.

- That's- I buy that.
- That's the last thing

to worry about.
- Yes, for sure.

Well, it seems like we have all

of this covered up.
- Can I do an Insight check?

I don't know if I can over

this screen but-
- Oh, sure, yeah.

- All right.

- We should steal
a book about unicorns.

- 17.

- 17, Arthur doesn't seem
more strange than usual.

You see Arthur looks and says,

"Well, I'm glad to tell you
then that Lydia is alive.

The person or peoples that did this

were not able to get the demon gem

from within her body,

so kudos for us. apocalypse averted.

Hurray, Aguefort.

Put another W up on the board!"

You see he says, "However,
Ragh, my good boy,

you are officially homeless,

so good luck with that."
- Principal Aguefort,

you've gotta get better
at talking to kids.

- Why?

- I mean, the entire family

is just seemingly awful.
- He's a principal though.

- Ragh, you can
live in Mordred Manor with us.

- You see Ragh goes, "Okay,
good, my mom's alive.

We've got a home."

- Yeah, you got bases covered.

- Yeah.
- Okay, cool.

Mordred Manor's actually extremely chill.

- It's really cool.

- I live in a tower.

- I live
- You know, I'm super psyched,

- under a piano.
- I would love that.

- Be part of the party house, yeah!

- Absolute party house.

- You see Aguefort says,

"Is there a party house around?"
- No.

- No, that's just what
we call a study hall.

- Yeah.
- For a discount

on that pentacorn, there is.

- You drive a hard bargain,
Miss Faeth.

All right, I'm going to go.

Ragh, should I make
your mother a new body?

I would probably have to deposit her

here in this wreckage.

Should I just hold tight on that?

I probably should tell
her that I made a body,

and I did a bunch of jibjabs.
- You probably should-

- Yeah, wait until
- Seems like you should

- she has a place to be
- explain you did that.

that's not on fire.

- Yes. Ooh, her consciousness probably

has returned to the
molten core of the Earth.

I should get on that.

As Ragh goes-
- The molten core?

- What?

- The molten core?

- Wait, how many miles down did I put her?

I'm going to check.

Form of Earth!

He turns into an earth elemental

and burrows into the ground.

- Okay, wait, Ragh. When you were saying

and you met the tabaxi woman,

who had she talked to?

Was she talking to Aguefort at any time?

- You see he says,

"No, I never saw her talking to Aguefort."

- Saw her talking to Adaine's mom.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, and Jace.

- Yeah.

- The biggest thing is Tracker,

and Tracker seeing it overnight.

- Oh yeah, that is very strange to me.

- Very strange.

- So Tracker-
- Can we look in the library?

'Cause we're right outside
the library right now, right?

- Yeah.
- Can we check

in the library for

some kind of book on invisibility?

- Yeah, absolutely.
- Or the magic

- Didn't Ayda say
you could ask her anything?

- Everybody here make a
Perception check for me,

if you'd be so kind.

- You can get help from
her though, like, librarian.

- 20.
- Nat 20.

- Ey!

- Cool.

Nat 20.

You look off and see that the smoke

coming from the edge of Crow's Keep

is finally stopped down.

But you got a good look at it.
I mean, you're with Fabian.

I don't think Fabian has described
the events of last night,

but Fabian has basically
been like, he's like,

"Oh, I know what that was," or whatever.

- Yeah.

- It's on the wrong side of Crow's Keep

from where Fabian fell.

It's not the place that
Fabian would've fallen from.

On a nat 20, you're just, like,

triangulating where you guys got him.

So that smoke's not coming
from where Fabian fell from.

- Hey, Fabian.

- Hmm.

- Well, first off, real quick,

I hand him an orange.

I read somewhere that

you give your friends oranges

so they don't get scurvy.

But anyways, the other thing is-

- Ragh tears up.

- And you can have an orange too.

- f*ck.

Oh, it's a good day, dude.

Did all those hugs from my mom count?

They counted, right?

- They counted.
- Yeah.

- Okay, yeah, it's just so-
- They absolutely did.

- She, like, had a mech of her own body

made of normal body stuff.

That's normal.
- Yeah, but her brain

was in it,

so that's the same thing.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Ragh, is this not a hug?

And I hug the gem

that Gorthalax is trapped in.

Is this not a hug?

Does this not count?
- You see, he gives you a hug.

He gives you-
- This counts, this counts.

It counts.

- Everyone in the van is crying.

- It gets super hard, guys, super-

- My parents never hugged me.

- Oh, I just hold.

I hold Tracker's hand
just kind of quietly.

- I don't think that's what you're talk-

it seems like that's a different fire.

- Oh, I got a 16 Perception.

Can I tell that that's not...?

- It's not the building.

- Oh, oh.

- You would know where that is.

You look at the building.

That used to be The Ramble.

- Oh, that's-

- What's The Ramble?

- Oh, The Ramble, that's the main head of,

it's like the government here.

It's like the top of the government here.

- What?
- Oh.

- Is Jamina in trouble?

- Probably not Jamina.

It's probably James
making some kind of move

to take over Leviathan, is my guess.

'Cause he was up here earlier.

- Okay, so let's attack him.

Let's fight him.

That's fine-
- Oh, we shouldn't do that.

Oh, we shouldn't.
- Yeah, in fact if anything,

hey, we need to get revenge

on what he did to you last night.

- Yeah, you're right, you're right.

We shouldn't fight him at all.
- No.

- You should fight him one-on-one.

- No, none of us should fight him.

Our goal is to get a C+ on this assignment

by getting the crown of the Nightmare-

- No, our goal is to get an A.

- All right, either way,

the Nightmare King's crown is our goal.

I don't think we should stay here

longer than we need to.

- The Nightmare King's goal...

This is personal,

and I don't like seeing you like this.

It scares me.

Where is your sword?

Where is your eye patch?

- Fabian, this is real Gilear energy.

- Yeah.

- Gilear goes, "Hey."

- Yeah, hey! I slap Riz.

- as*ault.

- I grab a lemon yogurt from near Gilear.

There's an ant in it.

- You see, he says,

"No. Oh, sometimes ants
get in there. It's okay."

- I say, look, hold this.

Does this feel comfortable in your hand?

It's warm yogurt.

You know how Gilear says yogurt?

- Yes.
- Okay, everyone, everyone.

- Do you wanna be a sad, sad elf man?

- I think
somebody cursed Fabian.

- Huh, Fabian?
- I don't know

if there's any other explanation.

- I haven't been cursed.

All right, here it is, here it is.

While I was off on my own last night,

I ran into Alistair Ash,

and he introduced me

to all of my father's followers.

And we all had a great time, and then-

- Great, so
we can get them to help.

- No, no, no.

I.

- Are they okay?

- No. Okay.

- They quit being
pirates,

- No.
- I bet they

have real fun names.

I can't wait to meet 'em.

- They did have fun names.

They did have fun names.

There's Chungle-Down Bim.

- What? Are you having a stroke?

- No, no, no, no, no.

- Maybe it's an anagram,

it must be an anagram.
- No, it wasn't an anagram.

His name was just Chungle-Down Bim,

and there was also one
named Old Young Benjamin,

who was old but also young.

And there was another one.

There was another one that jumped out

when they all found out
that I didn't k*ll my father

like I said I did.

Well, I did k*ll my-
- You did?

- No, but I didn't k*ll him

the way that they all thought I did.

I didn't, like, fight him in combat.

And they all said that we were gonna die,

and they challenged James to a fight.

And I said, "Well,

come on, I'm Fabian Seacaster.

Like, we could beat him."

And then he was walking by.

He was walking by.

And I jumped out of the door.

And I Captain James.

And I stabbed him.

And I stabbed him really good.

And I didn't do a good job.

- So it's fine. So he's dead?

- No.

- You didn't k*ll him?

- No!

- Did you almost k*ll him?

- No. I mean, I thought I did.

I thought I did some good damage.

I thought- I really hit him hard,

and then the next thing I knew,

his tentacles were on my head,

and he was gonna eat my brain

when he told me

that he'd eaten my siblings' brains.

So I guess I have brothers and sisters,

but I didn't have enough
time to process that,

because by the time I escaped,

he m*rder*d, like, all of 'em.

He m*rder*d all of my.

He m*rder*d all of my father's followers,

like, all of them in one hit.

It was, like, he just went hard

and then it-
- Is Alistair dead?

- No, the only four that
survived were Chungle-Down Bim,

Old Young Benjamin-

- Well, didn't Chungle-Down Bim help you?

- No.

- Chungle-Down
Bim probably saved you.

- We should go
to Chungle-Down Bim.

- No!

- To Chungle-Down Bim.
- How did he help you

in the fight? How did he help you?

- I've got a phone book here.

I'm looking for Chungle-Down Bim.

- No, please don't. He told me-

- He's on the line.

- He told me he was
gonna sh*t in my mouth.

- Great stuff, Fabian.
- He told me

he was gonna sh*t in my mouth!

He was gonna sh*t in my mouth,

and that I would never be a real pirate,

and that I was a disgrace
in my father's memory.

- Huh, hang up.

- And then Old Young
Benjamin's hiding somewhere.

And Alistair Ash was crying as I ran away.

- But you grabbed him

when you ran away though, right?

- No, I abandoned him, like, confidently

'cause I knew that the only way

I would survive is if I ran away.

So the only ones of my followers
left are Chungle-Down Bim,

who probably works for
James, Old Young Benjamin,

who's doing a monkey
thing up in the rigging,

and then there's, honestly,

I probably have one follower
who's running around.

He's not even mine, he's my father's,

just like everything else I have.

And I don't know.

So we shouldn't fight James.

He's just going to m*rder all of you,

and I'm going to feel awful,

and I'm just gonna end
up eating banana yogurt

in a house that I build

in memory of my father.

- I slap him.

- Ow-uh!

- Fabian.

- Tracker looks at you and goes, "Jesus."

- Fabian Aramaris Seacaster,

we need you, okay?

We brought one Gilear,
we made that mistake.

We did not mean to bring two.

- Okay.

- Real quick, I need to cast-
- You have more

than your father!
- Suggestion on Gilear,

and tell him to believe in himself.

'Cause a lot of mean
stuff is getting said.

- We need that here!

- You see- well, I'm gonna roll a save

for him real quick.

Oh, he fails his save.

You see he says,

"I'm okay with the fact

that it takes mind control

to make me like me.

I'm okay with that."
- Well, we'll deal

with that later, I just,
everything's gonna keep

being really against you, so just

buck up.
- No, no.

I am looking up from the bottom,

and I'm seeing how close

Fabian is sinking towards me.

And it is alarming,
even to me. I won't lie.

- Okay.
- Fabian,

you have so much more

than just being your father's son.

- Everything you have
is not your father's.

- None of us are friends with you

because you're Bill Seacaster's son.

- Yeah.
- We're friends with you

because you're Fabian.

- It's true.

- Yes, but the reason

I'm at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy,

the reason I'm a Bad Kid,

the reason I have the sword that I do

and the bike that I do is all because-

- You got that
bike because you won it fair

and square because we
k*lled a lot of people.

- Yeah, but you know who was in my head

when I k*lled Johnny Spells?

My father, my father, my father.

- Does he have any-
- Hey, just because he

started you off on this journey

doesn't mean that he needs to follow you

everywhere you go.

He just gave you a headstart.

- Yeah, he's
always gonna influence you.

- You know what?

I'm who I am because of my parents.

- You're like the opposite.

- Exactly, and you can be that, too.

Or the same. It doesn't matter,

but we're not friends with you

because your dad was famous.

Actually, if I'm being honest,

that's the least likable thing about you.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, it's pretty
insufferable sometimes.

- Yeah, it's
kinda like, "Get over it,"

you know?
- Yeah.

- You see Tracker looks up and says,

"I think there's a lot of true things

that have been said here, and

you know, just from the outside

of this friend group looking in,

seems like Fabian might be
struggling with depression.

And I think that we've all
reacted in a way, you know,

where you see a depressed person,

and we all shout at them.

So, you know?"
- Okay.

- I feel like
you can't be depressed-

like, depression is like
a long-term illness,

and not just a thing that
happens to you on one day.

I think what you mean is that he's sad,

and that's different.
- Sure.

- Fabian's life
rules 95% of the time.

- Yeah, he's had
one vaguely mediocre day.

- It was a bad day.

It's a bad day.
- I watched 14 people

die on my orders.
- All right, you've had

one bad day.
- It's bad, super bad.

- Chungle-Down Bim said

he'd sh*t in my mouth!
- So you had a bad day.

- You see that Tracker says,

"I'm gonna stand by-

we might be catching this

at the beginning of this process."

- I think you're right.
- Call him.

Call Chungle-Down Bim because I'm gonna-

- Do not call Chungle-Down Bim!

- I actually can't.

I called him a couple times

during that rollercoaster,

and now he's got my phone call blocked.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, and also you see
that Gilear looks and says,

"What actually is a
phone book for Leviathan

because that's fully nothing?"
- Oh, it's some animal hide

with a bunch of numbers.

- Yes, these are the
scrawlings of a mad man.

These are not, this is-

- He just found this in the bathroom.

- Yeah, this is nothing.
- Oh.

- Fabian.
- It does what I-

- It does say Chungle-Down Bim in it.

- Fabian, I think you're gonna have to...

We obviously can't fix this overnight,

and obviously, I want you take time

to figure out what is going on

and recover from what a
bad situation that was,

but I think we need to check this out,

with or without you.
- Yeah.

- But also, Fabian, you know,

we all draw strength from each other.

You went in without your crew.

What's a pirate without his crew?

- I did have, like, 14...

- No, you had randos.
- They're not as good as us.

- No.
- You had randos.

Yeah.
- Yes, they're not as good.

They're not as good.

- That's like you trying
to do an escape room

with just a bunch of
strangers you just met.

- Yeah.
- No, thank you.

- I think also,
if something's going on,

I understand that maybe
it feels really hard,

but it might not be something

we can avoid right now.

Although it is the politics

of a city that we're not from.

- Yeah, but if he
takes over the entire city,

it might be hard to get away.

- Yeah, that's true.
- Yeah.

- Let's check it out, at the very least.

- Let's do it.

- You see that...

This is the first time that Cathilda

has heard the whole story.

So you see...

The van pulls away.

You guys start heading towards the smoke

at the edge of Crow's Keep.

As the van is pulling away,

you see Cathilda looks
up at you and she says,

"Master Fabian, are you...?"

She sort of has the blanket over you

'cause you have your
pneumonia, you're messed up.

She looks at you and says,

"I want you to know something."

And as she-

You know, the noise of the
van, you guys are driving away.

She looks up at you and goes,

"My children

passed away before you were born.

And I've never spoken about it with you

because I...

It's something that I
never truly intended,

I think, to share. You know?

You're becoming a young man.

And throughout your childhood,

the conversation has moved
farther and farther away,

and I don't know if there
ever would've been a day

where I would've brought it up.

Your father loved you

the moment he laid eyes on you

when you were nothing
but a whimpering babe.

You had no exploits to your name.

There was nothing heroic.

You were a little ball

of wailing and waggling your arms

and legs around, and...

You are worthy of love

no matter what it is that
you do in this world,

and there are those that love you.

And I hope you know that I love you."

- Yeah, yeah, I know that.

- I never wanted to overstep my bounds.

And your father

built you up a great deal,

and I don't think he ever prepared you

for the sudden fall.

Maybe I should've done
something about that before.

You are a good lad.

And nobody is defined by their worst day.

(nostalgic music resumes

- Sure, sure.

- I'm sorry that you
had to go through that.

And worst of all, I'm sorry that you

had to go through it without your family.

You see a look come over Cathilda's eyes.

It's creepy to look at.

She has normally sort of
brown, dark brown eyes,

and her face is always so creased

in a perpetual smile that kind of like,

the pupil and iris of her eyes

fills out most of her eyes.

Her pupils dilate

and her eyes, like,

lose their luster a little bit

in what you can only describe

as a look of such pure menace.

Like, you've heard the expression

when someone goes black in the eyes.

This is the first time you've seen that,

where someone, like,

looks like any shred of empathy, remorse,

or hesitation leaves from her expression.

She says,

"You are Bill's son,

his darling boy.

And you are mine as well.

And that squid

put his hands on you,

and he's gonna pay handsomely for it

with every last thing he's got.

Do you hear me?"

- Yes. Yes, I do.

- That's good, Master Fabian.

Pinches your cheek.

And you guys head off

to the edge of...

the edge of the Crow's Keep.

- I try to hold Cathilda's
hand as we walk.

- She squeezes your hand, "Oh, deary."

- You're hot.

- What?

- What? Nothing.

- You know, I don't think you're wrong.

I think I'm quite a catch.

- It's so true. Right, Tracker?

- You have to like yourself.

You have to, you know.

I don't have a problem
saying it, I'm a catch.

- It's like- yeah,

it's like that Tweet song, "Oops Oh My".

She's done dressing in front of a mirror

and just kinda taking it all in.

- What a world-shattering reference.

You see, she...

An impossibly deep cut.

I can't believe where your mind

flashes to in the
briefest possible moment.

- Ey, listen to it. It's
a great pump-up song.

- It's a banger.

You see, Crow's Keep.

You see

The Ramble.

The Ramble used to be this giant

sort of, you know,

almost like "Walrus and the
Carpenter"-esque ramshackle,

multi-level tavern

that was home to-

the building The Ramble was home

to the actual Ramble itself,

which was a collection of
Leviathan's oldest pirates

that would sit here,

and smoke, and drink, and tell tales

of great acts of piracy
in the distant past.

It was kind of like...

How to put it?

Similar to what a courthouse would do.

It was like the repository

of the judicial system of piracy,

where people would come
before these ancient pirates,

who wouldn't really hold trials

but would just, like, ramble
and wax philosophical,

and eventually, a decision would come out

through the assembled wisdom

of the elder pirates gathered here.

It is now a smoking ruin.

You see that there are a bunch of pirates

that have gathered here that
are kind of salvaging what

they can from this place.

Some other people are here.

You see that Jamina Joy is here, as well.

So you see that the bosun has come up

from the Maelstrom's Maw

to help salvage this place.

What do you guys do as you approach?

- I guess we'll ask Jamina.

Jamina, what happened here?

- Captain Whitclaw destroyed The Ramble.

He came here last night

and asked what need to be done

for there to be a new king in Leviathan.

- What needed to be done? Destroy that?

- You see she says, "The
elders of The Ramble

said that it was merely
the words of Old Bill

that had kept a king from the throne

of the helm for a generation.

So the

elders of The Ramble

said that all that need be done

would be for a captain to claim the crown

from the head of the Pirate
King in Gibbety Square

and to head to The Row & The Ruction there

to crown themselves as Pirate King.

Captain James need not
have destroyed this place.

He did so

from what I can only say is malice,

to destroy the wisdom gathered here

and have there be no other elders to claim

court or principle in
the City of Leviathan."

- Do you know where he is now?

- If his aim was to
become the Pirate King,

I can only assume

he will have headed to Gibbety Square

to claim the crown.
- Yeah.

How do you feel as the person

who takes-
- Pibbety Square?

- Gibbet. What did you say?

- I thought it was Pib- never mind.

- No, Gibbety. Gibbety. Yes.
- Oh.

- It's Gibbety.
- As the person

who watches over this city,

and has its interest at your heart,

that's an assumption I'm
jumping to about you-

- I have no heart.

I am an automaton.

- Right, but it's programmed in you

to care about this city.

Whatever, let's not debate this.

Do you think it's good?

Do you support his claim?

- I was the bosun of the Leviathan

under the last Pirate King.

When Bill Seacaster came here,

cut off his head,

stuck it to the mast of Gibbety Square,

and said that there would be no king

in Leviathan, everything changed.

Everything may change again

with James Whitclaw.
- Oh, so you're saying

you're apolitical?

- Hey, you know,

I keep the ships floating.

- Right, you just obey orders.

- What's your deal? You have some dog

in this fight?
- What's your deal?

- What?

- What's your deal?

- I work from the moment

I come from my maintenance

to keep this massive city afloat.

- Why?

- Somebody's gotta do the actual

work of this city floating, all right?

Is it so crazy for me
to ask that the citizens

of Leviathan keep the
politics in line and afloat?

- When there's a bad person-

- How about this?

I'll run my crew that keeps the city

from literally sinking into the ocean!

I'll do that by myself

with the crew that works for me!

And how about the other 98% of people

keep an evil king from happening?

- Why don't you be the evil king?

- Okay, you've said evil king though.

The only reason I was asking

is because I feel like you know

this city better than I do,

so I wanted to know if you

supported this claim or not.

But you said evil king...
- Yeah, if you're the one

that's keeping it afloat, you're
the one that's running it,

you should be the king.

- Look.

- If there's anyone.

- You come from a democracy, right?

- No, I come from Fallinel.

- Okay, you come from a magocracy.

But my point being that

when something goes extremely wrong

in your country,

do you go find the like snowplow drivers

and, like, the mail people?

- We need to go
to Gibbety Square, people.

- We need to go to Gibbety Square.

- This person's not gonna help us.

- You're the
head of the civil service.

That's different.

- I feel like this is an-

- Everyone leave the room.
- You should resign.

- Oh,
do you wanna throw down?

Do you want my job?
- No, I want you to be-

no, I want you to go

and be your own pirate
captain on your own,

and be really good at being a pirate,

and let Leviathan sink
under this bad, evil king.

- So you all think it'd
be better for Leviathan

to sink into the waves?

- Yes!
- No, we don't agree.

Let's go to Gibbety Square!
- What are you talking about?

- Right?
- I didn't mean

to start any of this.

I totally just wanted
to know what you thought

'cause I trusted your opinion.

- Well, I'm the only one
here with a job, all right?

I do my job. I keep the city-
- We all have jobs.

- Riz, start doing your...

Oh no, that was a different one.

Your baby dance.

Completely different worlds.

- I take Kristen's ribbon dance

and try to distract everyone.
- Yeah, he goes mad.

- I start sprinting
towards Gibbety Square.

- Let's go, let's go.
- Yeah, let's go.

- You guys take off from Gibbety Square.

- I think you'd
be a really good king!

- I would be a queen of this place.

And if I was,

it would sink to the bottom of the ocean

because I am not gonna-

You guys drive away.

So you all head off.

As you do so, you go
down the pulley system

back to the lower levels of Leviathan,

where you

drive over to Gibbety Square.

As you arrive in Gibbety Square,

you see that the crown has already

been pulled off of the
head of the Pirate King.

You see a gruesome sight, by the way,

just a giant mast that has an artificially

preserved bearded pirate's head

with a dagger through the tongue,

pinning it so it hangs from the tongue

off of this thing.

- Gross.

- And no crown on the head.

- All right, so he's
already going to the place

where he needs to crown himself.

- Yeah.
- The Row & The Ruction.

- Let's head there.
- Yeah, let's go.

- You guys head

to The Row & The Ruction.

- Where is that?

- It's nearby Gibbety Square.

- As you guys get to
The Row & The Ruction,

you see a massive,

like, pirate warehouse

in the Aftward neighborhood.

These are more classical
buildings. They're well to do.

It's not all ships' hulls here.

These are actual platforms,
streets, buildings.

And you see a colossal building.

You guys hear a crazy amount of noise

from this, a pitched fighting.

So The Row & The Ruction

are two separate fights going on.

The Row is a massive fistfight

on the sort of sawdust-covered
and bloodstained floor

of this massive warehouse.

It is a fistfight that's
been going on for 150 years.

They have been bringing in new pe-

It's just a fight.

It's been going on forever.

The Ruction is a series of planks

and barrels hanging from a net

about 20 feet above The Row.

The Ruction is people
using flintlock pistols,

swords, weaponry, all that kind of stuff.

It basically forms a bicameral legislature

for the City of Leviathan,

where the lower house is
this bar fight/fistfight.

The Row has been going on for 150 years.

The Ruction sort of is
partially in session

from time to time.

When the fight gets rowdy enough,

the people can actually climb up

and get the weaponry and
stuff aboard that other fight.

You're not allowed to, like, bring your

own weapons into The
Row, or if you do bring,

then you have to hide
them and not use them.

Again, if you do use them, that's fine.

Everyone will just g*ng up
on you and k*ll you, right?

So the way it works politically

is you've gotta have
enough people at your back

to go into this fight to start winning it,

to get enough ground, to
climb up into The Ruction,

which means you start taking
over that second level.

And basically, if you can
hold The Row & The Ruction

for long enough, you can
make political decisions

for the city.

Cool!

- Wow.
- Oh, cool.

Can I use magic in The Ruction?

- Yeah, absolutely.

- But you have to go through
The Row to get to The Ruction?

Theoretically, you could
probably fly over it

straight to The Ruction if you...

You might be surprised to learn

it's pretty rules-light here

in The Row & The Ruction.
- Okay.

- But you guys walk in,

and you see that The Row is going on.

You guys arrive here just on the heels

of Captain James and his crew,

who have all gone to get
drinks on the other side,

and are basically
preparing to enter The Row.

As you walk in, you know,

you see your-

you know, fists flying, people fighting.

You see across from
this massive fistfight,

underneath this suspended
net with platforms

and stuff like that,

you see Captain James

turn to look at you guys as you enter.

Is anyone staying outside

with the van or anything else?

Everyone's going in?

- Unless we need someone to do it, I think

I'm probably going in.
- Fabian.

- I think I'll-
- Can you Revivify

Fabian to make him not
two levels of exhausted?

- Oh, yes.
- Yeah, let's do it.

- Oh, is there,

it's like Greater
Restoration or something?

- Greater Restoration.
- Yeah, I have a bunch

of stuff. Let's do-

- What gets rid of exhaustion? Can he-

- Yeah, I don't know what gets rid-

- I don't know if you'll have anything

to get rid of exhaustion right now.

- Okay.

- I think I'd like to-

I don't wanna wait by the van or anything,

but I'd like to be, maybe, stealthing.

- Cool.
- Just so I can, like,

be their backup, just
kinda hovering around them.

- Hell yeah.

- 26.

- 26, hell yeah. You are a shadow

in the corners of The Ruction.

- I guess I'm just gonna
cast Resistance on him.

- Okay, it's not gonna get
rid of your exhaustion.

- It'll just give him advantage on-

you can add a d4 to your saving throws.

- Cool.
- Just your next one, I think,

if right.

- You guys approach.

You guys see Captain James Whitclaw

turn up to you

as you guys come in here.

You see he

puts a hand on his crystal saber.

As he does so, he looks up

and specifically catches Fabian's eyes.

What do you guys do as you approach here?

- I want to-

just to cover our bases,

I'm gonna use Countercharm,

which is I'm just gonna play a little song

that makes us all brave

so that at least for a round,

we won't get frightened or charmed.

- Gotcha. Cool, you start
doing your Countercharm.

- I'm gonna take
the Sword of the Seacaster

and plant it in the
ground in front of Fabian,

and say, "Do whatever you need to do,

but here's this if you need it."

- Yeah, I pull the
eyepatch out of his pocket

and put it on jauntily.

- I pat him on the back

and I cast Warding Bond.

- Cool, great.

- So there's- one side is, like,

balancing and stuff,

and one side is just fistfighting.

- So it's the lower level's a fistfight,

and then there's not really anyone

in The Ruction right now,

which is the sort of net with planks,

and barrels, and stuff up above it.

You see across, Captain James actually

walks around the fight that's continuing.

He has not, like, entered
it with his men yet.

- How many- oh, sorry.

- He comes around, looks at you and says,

"Hey there, boyo.

Had yourself quite a bit of a run

last night, didn't ya?"

- Oh, Captain James,

you're not going to be king.

We're gonna stop you.

- Hey, Fabian, you got this.

- You see, he says-
- Bardic Inspiration.

- He looks at you.

As he does,

he goes,

"You're gonna stop me, boyo,

is that right?"

- I'm not gonna stop you.

Me and my crew are gonna stop you.

- Not made of stern stuff, are ya?

Needed your friends to come and help ye.

You know, your father was not made of such

stern stuff, as well.

Took off and ran.

Took that forgiveness

they offer in Solace, didn't he?

- So you have no friends?

You didn't have any friends
with you last night?

- Seems like you got a
bunch of friends here.

- Seems like a lot of friends here.

You seem like a friendly guy.
- I got this book

on pirate friendship,

and I've learned a lot about it,

and it looks like you got a bunch

of friends here.
- You want an orange, pal?

- Oh, I am hungry,

but not for an orange, girl.

I can smell the smarts on you from here.

- I'm sorry, was that
supposed to be scary?

- Oh, it is.

I'm gonna eat your brains.

- He's gonna eat
your brains. It's very-

- This is my impression of you.

- Hey, it can be silly

but it's gonna be real bad

when your brains are gone.
- Okay.

- You know what?

My friend Fabian's gonna eat your brains.

- Yeah, we're gonna eat your-

all of us eat your brains.

- You see, he-

- We're gonna sh*t in your mouth

and eat your brain.
- We're gonna eat your brains.

We're gonna eat your brains as a snack

'cause that's how small they are.

- You see,

he looks at all of you,

and you see that he goes,

"Well, son of a coward

and running off like a
coward to his friends,

I'd be happy to mince
them in front of you.

You have no true pirates here."

You guys hear a noise behind you,

and you hear.

You hear a little voice go,

"Shut that squid mouth,

you dirty pirate piece of sh*t."

And Cathilda steps out.

And you see that there's
even a noise of, like,

the kind of The Row quiet.

People are looking and punching,

like, looking away to
look at Cathilda, punch.

Cathilda has fully changed.

She's wearing seven-league
boots, a black dress.

She looks like a widow in mourning

in, like, a black dress
with a high white collar

and a black tricorne hat.

- Oh, I'm so
sorry. We've been so rude.

This is our friend Cathilda the Black.

- You see James looks at her and says,

"Huh, Cathilda the Black, eh?

Well then. She's still no captain.

I hear she's nothing more than a maid."

You see she goes,

"Right you are, James.

That's right, I'm a maid.

And as such, I can tell you

that I've got all the breadcrumbs ready,

and all the spices, and seasonings,

and a nice lemon wedge

for when I turn your f*cking face

into a plate of calamari.

It's gonna taste delicious going down.

And I'm gonna keep you alive to watch it.

I'm gonna feed it to you
'cause it's not healthy

just to be eating brains, James,

and I care about your health

and your wellbeing."

- And I'm gonna kick your a*s.

- Yeah.

- You see Captain James

looks over and goes...

And I'm gonna make a little roll for him.

He's shaken by what Cathilda said.

You see he says,

"Well then, if it's a fight you want,

it's a fight you'll get.

But you know, I'm not the only enemy

that you've made here in this place.

I'm not the only enemy

that you've made in the wide world beyond.

So you'll have to forgive me

if I don't fight fair."

Everyone here make a Perception check.

- Oh no.

- 19.

- 21.

- 17.

- 10.

- Did anyone beat a 20?

- 21.

- You see a Scrying sensor
like you saw before,

up in The Ruction looking down at you.

- Oh.
- Where's Garthy?

- A moment afterwards, James says,

"A fight then, for the soul

of the City of Leviathan.

And maybe a fight more than just that,

but I'll only be fighting on one front.

You'll have to be fighting on two."

Three beautiful elves

in long, flowing robes

appear before you.

You see them surrounded by motes

of silvery-white light

as they appear in The Ruction.

One of them has a small will-o'-wisp

in their ear.

And you see that they raise a hand,

look directly at Adaine and say,

"We found the Oracle.

We'll be returning with her shortly."

- I don't think so.

- I'm gonna need everybody here

to roll Initiative.

g*ng, that's gonna be all

for this week!
- Whoa!

- No!

- On "Dimension 20 Live!"

Tune in next week for
The Row & The Ruction

in the Pirate City of Leviathan.

Captain James Whitclaw

and some friends from the
elven nation of Fallinel

doing a classic shift-to-battle sign-off.

We have two more weeks
of shows in December.

And then we'll take a little
break through the New Year,

but we'll be back in January.

Thanks for watching.

Check us out on Dropout,

and we'll see you guys

next week 7 p.m. Pacific! Bye-bye.

- I wanna play now!