- [Brennan] A list of the topics,
themes, and subject matter
featured in this episode has been included
in the video description.
(spooky scary music)
(spooky music continues)
(spooky music continues)
(spooky music continues)
Hello, one and all!
Welcome to another thrilling episode
of Dimension 20: Neverafter.
I am your humble Dungeon
Master, Brennan Lee Mulligan.
With me, as always, are
our intrepid heroes.
Say hi, intrepid heroes.
(players shushing)
- Quiet, we're in the library.
- Are you looking for the
Calvin and Hobbes comic books?
- We're all back in the library for this,
the thrilling conclusion
of Dimension 20: Neverafter!
- The quietest battle ever.
- The quietest battle ever.
Last we left off, our intrepid heroes
were deep within the Canonade,
the ink, the true ink of
story swirling overhead
as the architect of the
ink's purpose, Snow White,
was struck down by an
arrow from Sleeping Beauty.
Right now, the princesses
Rapunzel and the Beast
have been defeated, Snow White no more,
Cinderella is grappling in the air
with the ancient witch Baba Yaga
as the Princess Elody and Princess Mira
have for the moment joined your side,
Scheherazade at zero hit points but stable
here with her book in Cinderella's hands.
The entire conclave of fairies
has burst in through the
doors of the Canonade
to see to them what is a
ruinous state of affairs
and are leaping into action
with access to the ink
that is the will of the
Authors made manifest,
a source of destiny that they themselves
have been able to wield
from within the Neverafter,
and seeing an opportunity
to set things to right,
they surge forward en masse
as the thrum of the ink
attracts the attention of
horrifying things far, far away.
Gerard, it is your turn.
We are still in initiative order.
- [Emily] Good god.
- [Murph] Is there any reason
that we would need Scheherazade's book?
- [Siobhan] Yeah, can we
use Scheherazade's book
to put things from this
realm into the book,
or do they have to go into Tim's book?
- It's quite possible.
You have only ever seen Tim's
book suck people into it.
What you've seen Scheherazade's
book do is open doors.
- Ooh.
- Scheherazade's book is deeply powerful,
and Scheherazade is
down but not out, right?
- All right, I will just
hop over to Scheherazade.
I'll use my jump speed to
just get directly there,
and I'll give her a Goodberry.
- That's right! Incredible.
- I'll give her a Goodberry.
That way Tim can do more important things.
And then can I use the rest of my movement
to put some distance so
we're not all getting hit
by whatever spell, so I can just divide?
So if I'm over here from
Scheherazade, where'd I move?
- You're here.
- Was that like 15 feet of movement?
- Yeah.
- So 15 feet.
So maybe I'll go there-ish, right to Tom.
- [Brennan] You want to go
to Tom? Cool, yeah, blurp.
You're climbing up, you
see Tom. (panting raggedly)
- Come along! Come along with me, Tom!
- This dude's been running
for three straight rounds.
- I saw. Super impressive.
- All right. Go time, baby, let's go.
- Go time!
- Let's go!
- It's go time!
- All right!
- Don't tell him about his wife.
- I don't know it. I assume-
- We weren't married, but
I will be heartbroken.
- She Revivified you, right?
- Yeah, and now she's
just having a little rest.
- She's in your pocket.
- She's in your pocket.
- The fairies are going to get her.
We need to get over there.
- My hand in my pocket just comes out red.
I put it back in really quick.
- Incredible, Gerard, you move over there.
Scheherazade comes back
up at one hit point.
As she does so, she looks over,
looks at you and goes, Tim!
- Yes.
- I'm with you.
- Okay, great.
- My book!
- Up there! I point to Cinderella.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
She was here, right?
- [Ally] And Baba Yaga.
- Mira the Little Mermaid
looks and is going to-
- Mira, I think this is
where our paths cross.
I mean, depart. I mean, what's it called?
- [Brennan] She looks at you and says,
are you going after them
or are you staying here?
- You know, I don't know.
I've got to see what's
going on with Timothy,
because Death is hungry
for everyone but Timothy.
- She gives you a thumbs up.
She sprints down the
ziggurat and is going to leap
over here across, and she's
actually going to stand
in front of Rosamund at one
hit point and cover Roz.
Again, pulls a little knife
out of her sash and
stands in front of you.
- Thank you.
- That's Mira's turn.
Top of the initiative,
Godmother moves here,
looks at you and says, the frog again, eh?
(Brennan tuts disapprovingly)
Clicks her tongue, and is going to launch
a bunch of rays right at you.
- Gerard, or Frog Prince!
I don't know what we're calling you!
- She hits you for seven
points of radiant damage.
As this spell races across the
sky there, that is her turn.
Pib, that's you.
- Oh god, okay.
I'm going to make another
perception check for cutbacks.
- [Brennan] Sure, yeah, go ahead.
- That one's better. 22.
- You don't see any,
but you feel a crackle
like they are present somewhere
beyond where you can see.
- If I look at the sheets on the ground-
- Yeah, they're underneath the paper.
They're underneath the sheets down there.
- Good to know.
I think I'm going to
spread out a little, too,
so maybe I'll go over
around kind of near where Pinocchio is.
- [Brennan] Yeah,
absolutely. Scoot down here?
- Yeah, I think so.
- Cool.
You jump back down
near your old companion Pinocchio, yeah.
- I think I'll just stealth.
- [Brennan] Cool, give me a
bonus action stealth check.
- That's a 25.
- 25.
You vanish, tucking back behind the books.
- Can I make an insight check?
- Yeah.
- Can I look at the Canonade
and make an insight check
on the ink itself?
- Yeah, for sure.
- [Lou] Ink, tell me your secrets.
- [Emily] I was thinking a similar thing.
- That's a 15.
- Swirling magically, malevolently,
it looks like it is
very volatile right now.
Something could definitely set it off.
It's sort of helix-ing and moving
in a strange, unpredictable way.
- Good to know.
- [Brennan] Okay, these
two begin flying forward.
I think one of them is going
to take three shots at Mira.
Those are all going to be hits.
The other one is going to
take three against Elody.
Oh my god, and those are all misses.
Elody raises her shield as the
rays sort of fly off of her.
That is now going to be Mother Goose.
I turn to Scheherazade and I say,
what is happening here
and how do we reverse it?
What do you remember?
- She looks at you and says,
Snow White was holding onto the ink.
The longer she was able
to concentrate on it,
the more effective it would've been.
If we'd had another minute to hold onto,
it would've been a certainty
that the spell would've worked.
You caught her before
she was done casting it.
That spell is still locked up in the ink.
We can both turn all our efforts
to unweaving what Snow White did.
We could also both focus our effort
on doing what you're trying to do.
If we do that, both
spells will be in the ink,
Snow White's and yours,
which means that maybe
they would both happen.
- Okay, yeah, that can't happen.
- She's talking about scattering the ink.
That was kind of part of our plan anyways.
- The ink would cover all of the pages.
- But in ours, weren't we kind of like,
oh, let's make sure everyone
gets a little bit of ink
and a little bit of paper?
So if you could use her
spell to your ends, maybe.
- Yeah.
- I think that would be
some hefty arcana checks
to try to put Snow White's
spell to work for you.
- Okay.
- Let's just get rid of it.
- Okay, great.
I am going to, before I move,
throw a Healing Word to Rosamund.
- Oh my god, thank you.
- Four, yes.
Two, yeah, six! 10.
And then pop up the books and try to hide.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah,
you can use your movement.
You can get right up to this same spot
that Snow White was at.
- I want to duck down,
kind of, if there's a way.
- [Brennan] Sure, yeah, you can get cover.
Well, you need to be within five feet.
You can get partial cover
from these two, for example.
You can get partial
cover from some of them.
- Okay, all right.
Is there a way to unlodge
a book and hold it
as a shield in front of
me while I sit there?
Pull a cover up and just
be kind of behind it?
- You have Mage Hand as a
cantrip, which is an action,
so yeah, go ahead and
give me an arcana check.
We'll call it a DC 15 to try
to create some temporary cover.
- Seven.
- [Brennan] Cool.
But the main thing is,
you start concentration.
- Yeah.
- This is your first round.
That's round one that
you hold concentration
on this object here.
As you do so, you feel...
(energy humming)
You hear...
(whispers echoing)
Once more,
something draws us back.
You feel eyes looking
into you that once again
make you feel paper
thin and like something-
- Do I have a little bit of fortification?
I've been reunited with
my husband and my son,
and we're all here, we've worked so hard.
- f*ck yeah.
- Okay.
- What do you say as this voice,
as something cold and
unreal regards you as-
- The coldness, I think,
came from uncaring,
all-powerful gods,
and our plan is to not believe in that
and believe that the power is within us
and everything that we see
is more real than that.
- Yeah.
- So I think I, yeah.
- Hell yeah, you are able
to repel that chilliness
thinking of your son back
in Baba Yaga's cottage
with your husband, and as-
- Henry!
- [Brennan] Henry, Jack!
The end of your turn.
That's going to be Cinderella.
Cinderella is going to do her best
to escape from Baba Yaga right now.
- Is she still invisible?
- She is still invisible.
You see little glimmers of glass armor.
Baba Yaga's wrestling something invisible.
- Baba Yaga's 20 foot reach.
- Yeah.
- Sorry, I just realized
something about my action economy.
I could've used my action to hide
and then used a bonus
action to give someone help.
- Sure, yeah yeah yeah. Who'd
you like to give help to?
- I'll give it to Pino...
I'll give it to Rosamund.
- Oh, thank you.
- [Brennan] Rosamund gets
the help action, hell yeah.
- I see how it is.
- You were going to go for Pinocchio.
- [Lou] Say half my damn name, and then-
- I can't help but look at
your 56 hit points, Lou.
- Just because I have 56 hit
points and 3 nutcrackers,
I don't need help?
- Cinderella is going to make a roll.
I'll do this Box of Doom,
because this is pretty intense.
She's going to, DC 15, escape.
She's got a plus nine to athletics,
so that means she just needs
a six or higher on the die
to bust out of here.
That's a nine on the die.
- Cutting words.
- (gasps) Okay!
- Nice.
- I take a d8 away from it.
- [Brennan] You just
need a four or higher.
Want to roll Box of Doom?
- [Murph] Come on!
- Eight on the die!
You see Cinderella
goes, let go of me, hag!
As you send some magic
her way, Baba Yaga says,
thank you, my witch friend! (cackles)
- I loved the soup!
- You hear her whisper in the
invisible helm of Cinderella,
the soup was mostly piss!
Elody is going to begin to charge
up this ziggurat as well.
5, 10, 15, 20,
25,
45,
gets to here.
- Aw, do they just kiss?
- A little... (smooches)
- [Siobhan] Platonic, on the cheek.
- [Murph] Just a friendly kiss.
- Just a platonic kiss.
- Friendly, platonic kiss.
- From your former wife.
- [Murph] Technically we're
still married. - [Siobhan] Your
mouth is so big that she does hit
the little edge of the mouth.
- You can still be married,
be about to be divorced,
and still be friends.
- Elody leaps up next to you
to get within 30 feet of
as many people as she can.
That's going to be everybody
at the top of the ziggurat,
plus d4 to saves and attacks.
- Great.
- Ooh.
- She jumps up there.
Red, that's you.
- [Emily] I want to jump here.
(Brennan laughing)
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
- What are you going to make me do?
If I am a brown bear, in my
brown bear fighting stance,
my strength is 19, it's
better than Ylfa's strength.
Can I default to that?
- Sure, you got 19 strength,
and your speed is very high, right?
- Yeah, my speed is 60 feet.
- Okay, your long jump's
38 feet horizontally.
Your high jump is 14 feet off the ground.
That still is pretty
shy of where they are.
- She does have a 20 foot reach.
- With her arms? Grabbing
onto one of her arms there?
It's still going to be an athletics check.
- Okay, I can do that.
- You got this.
- I'm going to say it's
a DC 20 athletics check.
- If you don't hit it, do you fall?
- [Brennan] If you don't hit it, you fall.
- Yeah, I'm going to do it.
- [Lou] Yeah!
- [Brennan] Go for it.
- We got to try.
- You're strong, you got advantage.
- I'm strong, I got advantage.
Can I, real quick, I'm going to shift
to get some extra HP.
- Go for it.
- Okay, that's going to be 13 extra HP.
I'm going to f*cking go for it.
- Go for it. Here we go,
rolling with advantage.
- Jump! Jump!
- Jump! Jump!
- Okay, I'm going to tell you
right now, this one has to.
- This one has to do it.
- I got it!
(all cheering)
- [Zac] That was close.
- That was f*cking close, g*ng.
Little Red Riding Hood,
as a werewolf, leaps,
and you see that Baba Yaga,
Cinderella is sandwiched
invisibly in between Baba Yaga
and Little Red Riding Hood.
You see even Baba Yaga is
like, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Because her mortar is what's flying.
It's like she's on a hoverboard
and two people have now jumped on her.
- I whisper to Cinderella,
looks like you're between
Death and the Baba Yaga.
- She looks and says, what?
I don't have context for
what your journey has been!
- Then maybe you should
be paying attention
to people other than yourself!
I try to take the book.
Can I use both my attacks to
try to grab the book from her?
- We can say that this is
like a targeted disarm,
like a shove attack.
- Yeah.
- So the first number you got to beat,
she rolled a 15 on the
die, 24 you got to beat.
- Okay.
- Yeah, come on! Come on!
- 24 is exactly what I got.
(Brennan gasps)
- Incredible, you rip the book
out of Cinderella's hands.
(Brennan grunts)
- Then can I just let myself fall
to get the book away from this?
- Absolutely, you can just let go.
- Yeah, I let go with the
book and I'm like, Timothy!
As I'm going, can I try
to throw it to Gerard?
- Hell yeah.
- I have a second attack.
- [Brennan] You can throw in to anybody
on the ziggurat that you want to.
- Really?
- Scheherazade!
- I want to throw it to Timothy, then.
- Okay, awesome.
- Or Scheherazade, yeah.
- Yeah, go ahead. It's just an AC 10.
She's trying to catch it.
- Okay.
I got it, baby.
- Incredible athletic moves.
Werewolf leaps through the
air, grabs the Baba Yaga,
the Baba Yaga is like,
good move, little girl!
(Brennan grunting violently)
Kneeing glass armor as
you wrench this book,
Cinderella throws an elbow,
goes, get your hands off me!
I'm a f*cking princess!
- Better than a pay-per-view.
- You see Scheherazade leaps
up, bam, grabs the book.
Way to go, kid!
- I'm just going to take falling damage.
- Yeah, you just straight-up take,
let's see how much falling damage that is.
You have advantage because
I believe you're raging.
Give me a dexterity saving throw.
- Dexterity saving throw.
- Yeah.
- I think I always have
advantage on those.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- That is a 13.
- 13, okay.
You are going to take, oof,
you take 12, 17, 23,
25 halved to 12 bludgeoning damage.
That DC 10 dexterity
saving throw has you land
in the square that you were
occupying, which is right here.
If you'd gotten a nine or lower,
it would've been one to either
side right into the pages.
Boom! You hit this narrow bridge.
- I feel like that
could've gone really bad,
and I'm really lucky right now.
- Incredible turn from Little
Red. The book is back, baby.
- We got the books!
- The book is back.
- Can someone pass me
the orange fairy, please?
(Emily gasps)
- You guys. You guys, be cool.
- Be cool.
- [Ally] Please be cool.
- [Siobhan] We need her
to know that we're cool.
- She surges forward,
sees the book get thrown,
and is going to light up Little Red.
- You monster.
- Ooh, okay.
Deals you 12 points of radiant damage,
halved to six, and then-
- I choke out, honey,
we're still just working
with temporary hit points.
- [Brennan] 18 halved to 9 radiant damage,
and I'm going to need a
constitution saving throw.
- Was that a crit?
- That is a crit.
- Oh, but we talked about
swapping out my thing.
- Yes, a new class feature
for you, you get advantage
on these "don't die on
a crit" saving throws.
- You're within Elody's plus four, right?
- [Brennan] Yes, you are
within Elody's plus d4.
- Let's see.
10, 16 con save.
- 16. You make the save.
You will not take the damage
again on your next turn,
as these rays of radiant
light surround you.
- So she just entered the scene
and rolled a nat 20
first thing out the gate.
- I mean, if you're
wearing an orange top hat?
- That's exactly the kind of
fairy she seems like she is.
- Scheherazade, her turn, leaps up,
gets to the other side here.
- Yes!
- Incredibly thankfully, you
got Scheherazade her book back.
This opens up a huge element
of the battle for you.
She gets up, puts her concentration
on this to take away one
of Snow White's rounds.
So now you're at one, Snow
White's spell is at three,
and she looks at you and
says, I can open a door!
- Yeah, do you know where
Sinbad and Aesop are?
Can you bring allies?
- Reaches in, throws out
a glowing page and says,
Aesop, we need you!
You just hear, keep it simple!
And Aesop leaps out.
- Nice, nice!
- Yes!
- He's here.
- There he is.
- Books on books?
- Books on books on books.
We got three books running
on the ink at the same time.
Aesop turns around an
says, what's going on?
There's a monster in this castle!
- Yes, exactly.
- Yeah, pretty much.
- I kind of clue him
in on what's going on,
and to look at all the fairies,
especially the orange top hat.
(Emily laughing)
- Most of them to get a
lay for the b*ttlefield,
the latter just to kind
of be in that area.
- I'm like, keep your wits about you,
and also, that's a huge choice.
What do you have to say about that?
- Do you think they had a text thread
to decide what outfits they were wearing?
- [Brennan] The Blue Fairy,
can someone pass me the Blue Fairy?
- [Lou] Yep.
- [Brennan] Blue Fairy goes here.
- Really swooped in. Milady?
- Absolutely.
- Let me carry you over this puddle.
- It would be an honor.
- [Zac] Mr. Steal Your Girl.
- That's me!
That's-a me!
- [Brennan] Okay, deals 11
points of damage to Mira.
- Jesus.
- That is going to be Tom
Thumb. Where are you, Tom?
- [Zac] He's under Gerard.
- Tom crawls up onto Gerard's
back. Let's do it, buddy.
- And then if we do this, we
don't have to do 5 AM tomorrow.
This just counts as the workout.
- Well, you know, you
want to set a regular-
- We'll figure it out later.
We'll figure it out later.
- Tom Thumb jumps on the Frog
Prince's back. Incredible.
He's going to ready an action.
Rosamund, that's your turn.
- [Siobhan] Great, do I have to use
that help action this turn?
- No, I don't think it has to be.
- I have a question for
Brennan that's shenanigans-y
that also includes Pib,
if you're interested,
but I don't know if you are.
These are small creatures
that I can summon.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- The bird is small.
So is Pib.
- Sure.
- Has a movement of 60.
- Sure.
- Can the bird pick Pib up?
- If you would like to summon
a bird to be Pib's mount,
I will allow that.
- I mean, it's pretty tight.
- It's pretty sick.
- It's pretty tight, right?
- Pretty freaking sick.
- [Ally] You wear the
bird like a backpack.
- You're going to have to
show some self control.
- Yeah, you can't eat the mount.
- Pib just looks at Aesop.
- Aesop's like, are you a
scorpion or are you a cat?
- I'm...
Oh boy.
- Keep it simple!
- Little bird?
- If this is the way I go,
this is the way I go.
- I make sure that this bird's feathers
are just armor plated.
- My mouth is watering.
- Yes, Rosamund, what
is it you'd like to do?
- I summon a beast over Pib,
because of the 90 foot range.
- Cool.
- I turn another of my birds
into these big buff birds,
pick up Pib, and then
where do you want to go?
You want to go to this Blue Fairy?
- Well, I was going to wait.
- Can it hold its
movement? It goes after me.
- Yeah, I was just going to
get something from Pinocchio.
- Great.
- Yeah, absolutely.
That is absolutely 100%
fine. You summon the bird.
The bird can also move its
initiative to Pib's turn.
- Great, so it'll move its
initiative to Pib's turn.
Then I am going to bonus action
go into my Starry Form Archer.
- Ooh.
- And I just will use that help action.
- Hell yeah.
- To give me advantage,
and I will attack the
Blue Fairy over here.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah, go
ahead and roll your attack.
- I crit again.
- Yes!
Yes!
- Go ahead and roll double damage.
- Okay, so that's 2d8 plus 2d6.
- [Ally] Ice her!
- Oh my god.
- Because I will use my Gathered Swarm
to do the extra damage,
and I will reroll this two
to be an eight, hell yeah,
so that's 10, 16,
21,
25 radiant damage.
Wait, no, it's 18 radiant
damage and 7 piercing damage.
- For 25 damage altogether.
- Yeah.
- Incredible, she goes
from uninjured to bloodied
in a single arrow stroke.
She has a DC 12 constitution
check that she needs to make.
She needs 11 or higher.
Six or lower, it's instant death.
- I'm not ready for this.
I'm not ready for this.
- [Siobhan] I'm so sorry. Your girlfriend.
- 10, she will take damage again
at the start of Rosamund's next.
- You're like, is she
doing it with advantage?
Can I help her?
- Oh my god.
- Pinocchio would like
to give the Blue Fairy,
not the Fairy with Turquoise
Hair but the Blue Fairy.
- The Fairy with Turquoise
Hair is like, me?
- No, not you!
- No no no no, not you.
- We have beef.
- Incredible.
You see this arrow flies out. (shrieks)
She sort of screams out.
Rosamund, that is your turn.
Incredible turn. Pinocchio,
that's going to be you.
- I am going to see Tim
doing this weird thing
where he keeps trying to hold
a book up in front of himself
as a shield and be like,
that's not a bad idea!
I'd like to cast Strands of
Fate to cast Animate Objects.
I'd like to animate
some of the largest books
I'm able to in the room.
- Can you animate the one
under me so I can fly on it?
- You surf?
- Oh my god, so sick.
- Boy of destiny, take your pick.
- Oh wow.
- Cool!
- Oh, fun fun fun. Oh, wow wow wow.
These are fun. We'll get into those later.
- [Siobhan] Look! It's
a little walking guy!
- If you want slabs, if you want walls,
if you want whatever, you know.
- I can have this as well? This is fun.
- [Brennan] Paper monstrosity.
- Rick, you dog.
Let me get one of these. What
size would you say these are?
- What's the largest
you're able to animate?
- Huge.
- Huge is the paper one.
The biggest of the book ones are large,
and then the smallest are medium.
Medium counts as two, large
as four, huge as eight.
- Great, and I have 10?
- You have 10, correct.
- Let's do two large. That's eight.
- That's eight, yes.
- Then I'll do two tinies.
- If you just want more of these objects,
we can stat them as
mediums if you just want
more of them flying
around to provide cover.
- Yeah, let's stat them as mediums
because I want one in front of Tim.
- Cool.
- One in front of Aesop,
and one in front of Scheherazade
about 10 feet in front of them.
- So Pinocchio, once again
standing in this place
surrounded by these fairies,
you wield the same magic that they wield,
and as you raise your
hand high in the air,
you see the books of
this place spring to life
and the three book holders up top,
Scheherazade, Aesop, and Mother Goose,
all of you watch as books
form walls in front of you.
Each of you has total cover.
- Nice.
- Then, struggling with these strands,
I reach down, pop the top of the whiskey,
take a quick swig, and
then I'm going to toss
the firework to Pib and
his new bird summon.
- Incredible.
- Okay.
We can do some weird stuff over here.
- [Brennan] You have the storytellers
kind of covered over there,
and you have one with you.
Where is the fifth one going?
- Something over near me
and Ylfa would be nice.
We don't have any way to fly, really.
- Yeah, let me throw one underneath Ylfa.
- [Brennan] Okay, awesome,
and these things have a fly speed-
- I believe 30?
- Of 30.
- Absolutely wild.
- Do they act on your turn?
- They act on this first turn.
They're doing everything
I want them to be doing at this time.
- [Brennan] The one under
Ylfa can take a double move.
It can dash.
- Let's have it dash up to
get Ylfa back in the mix.
- [Brennan] Okay, god, this is so sick!
- I'll have the one that I
summoned, who's more of a being,
I'll have it stand in front
of me for the time being.
- Cool, you see that one
comes up in front of you
and goes, hello, I'm Flat William!
- Hi, Flat William.
I'm going to move it just
so none of these fairies
can see me, but I can still see-
- Cool, he's just going to
bodyguard in front of you.
- Exactly.
- Incredible.
He pops up right here, made of books.
- All right, thanks, Flat!
And then I'll toss, Pib?
- Oh.
- Get up to something!
I'll give that firework to him.
- [Zac] I'm about to have a holiday!
- Again, in front of the storytellers,
the ziggurat is called into action.
Bookshelves and books spring
up in front of it, and Ylfa,
on your back, you feel rumbling.
A little island of books
raises you up into the air.
- So sick!
- You see strings, golden strings,
suspending the books underneath you
as Flat William leaps to
life in front of Pinocchio.
- Why is his name Flat William?
- He's flat. He's flat.
He's made of books. Bonus action?
- I look up at Cinderella. I'm
going to try one more time.
- Yeah, I'm going to say because
the fairies have arrived,
the DC does drop to 15.
You're still rolling disadvantage.
- Next turn, I'm going to
flirt with the Blue Fairy,
but this turn.
- I think you have a real shot.
- Thanks, man.
Okay, are you going to roll?
DC is 15?
- DC is 15.
You need both of these to
be, I think, a 10 or higher.
19 and 9.
- I wish I had anything
that could bump it.
- It's all good.
Girl, come on!
Read the room!
- I'm being crushed to death!
Get your friend to stop and we'll talk!
- All right, that I have no control over.
- Okay, the turquoise-haired fairy
is going to double move,
streaking for the ink.
She looks down at you,
Pinocchio, as she moves,
and says, Pinocchio, I don't
know what you're trying to do.
Please let us fix this
before it's too late.
- It's already too late. We can't go back.
- We could go back!
- I gave it up!
- What do you mean you gave it up?
- It's over! I can't be a boy again!
This is me!
That's it!
- She looks completely heartbroken
as the Baba Yaga turns
over her shoulder and says,
the thing you want for the
boy is mine now. (snickering)
She looks at the Baba Yaga and sees
a glint of Cinderella's eyes
and looks around and says,
this is a mess.
(Emily laughing)
- Okay.
- If someone could pass
me the Red Fairy, as well.
She will step out here
and she lays into Elody
for a bunch of damage.
(grunts) Elody looks injured
as the Red Fairy flies forward.
Baba Yaga's turn.
- Each of these fairies' turns,
do we have a moment to do
an insight check on their-
- Their internal politics. I
was thinking the same thing.
Who's the ringleader?
- Turquoise seems more reasonable.
- You can definitely do
insight checks on your turn
into these different fairies.
- Okay, on our turns.
- You see Baba Yaga still
grappling Cinderella goes,
you cannot be seen, cannot be trusted.
Maybe you should just freeze!
And on a five on the die,
Cinderella's going to use her
Indomitable to reroll that,
to get a worse roll.
Baba Yaga casts Hold Person,
and you see Cinderella go rigid,
and Baba Yaga tosses an invisible person
somewhere in the room, going... (cackling)
Turns to look at all the fairies and says,
so many of you, so far from
little blossoms to live in.
Add you to the soup!
The fairies sort of look horrified
at whatever's about to happen next.
- Is there any way that I
could try to use my reaction
via Sentinel to catch Cinderella?
- Yeah, if you want to use your reaction
as an opportunity attack,
you've just got to hit her armor class.
- Okay, just rolling flat?
- Rolling flat.
- Rolling flat as a brown bear,
that's a plus five to hit.
Come on, baby, come on.
- Come on, baby.
- Who's feeling lucky?
Who's feeling lucky?
You're feeling lucky.
15.
- 15, that's interesting, though,
because if you touch her armor,
you catch her, right?
- Yeah, I think I'm trying to
catch her rather than hit her.
- [Brennan] I'm going to
say I'm going to allow-
- I feel bad about her plummeting.
- Yeah yeah yeah, I'm going
to allow in this instance
for you to catch Cinderella.
I think her armor, her AC,
comes from being resistant to blows,
but you're not trying to harm her.
You're literally trying to grab her.
I think, bam, you grab Cinderella.
You are holding the invisible princess.
- Be cool, I'm not trying
to rile up the Baba Yaga.
- So you're trying to
secretly catch what she threw?
- She is invisible.
- Hiding her behind your back.
- You're just kind of shaking
a little bit with effort.
- Incredible.
- Be cool.
- Unbelievable, look at this.
When we get to final battles,
they're always such a f*cking-
- Everyone's always up in the sky.
- Everyone's up in the sky.
- [Lou] Everyone can fly.
- The Wicked Fairy moves out here
and is going to fire three times at Mira.
- Damn!
- Damn.
- The Wicked Fairy steps
forward, and Mira goes down.
(players groaning)
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom!
And sees you, Rosamund, and goes,
you know, I always thought that
story should've gone my way.
- Why are you even
hanging with these ladies?
They don't like you, and
they've very mean to you.
They don't invite you to anything
except when they need you.
- That's how the story's supposed to go!
- Is it?
- She looks rattled.
Gerard, that's going to be your turn.
- Oh boy, okay, can I do an insight check
to see if any of the fairies
could potentially be won over?
- [Brennan] Tell me if there's one
you want to make an insight
check against the most.
- [Murph] I'll do an
insight check against,
yeah, the Turquoise Fairy, I think.
- [Brennan] Give me an insight check.
- Nat one.
- You'd have to go on faith.
- Great, okay, I'll try it.
I'll use an action on
the Turquoise Hair Fairy
and attempt to do a
persuasion check, I guess.
- Cool.
- Do I add anything to
ability checks from Elody?
- From Elody? No, only attack
rolls and saving throws.
- Come on.
19.
- You look up at her.
What do you say to her
as you speak to her?
- I think overhearing probably
what she said to Pinocchio,
I'll say, we don't want
what the princesses wanted.
If you want to help Pinocchio,
if you care what happens
to him at all, you'll let
him write his own story.
It doesn't have to be,
nothing's going to be perfect,
but at least it will be.
- She listens to you say that,
looks at you, considering your words.
Mira is going to make
a death saving throw.
That's a success.
- Okay, can I also jump?
I'm going to jump over to that
area with Rosamund and Mira.
- Cool, cool.
- With Tom.
(Brennan mimics a big frog jumping)
- Leaping, like, here?
- Yeah.
- Cool, you see that as
the fairy turns to you,
considering your words,
Gerard, she looks up,
looks at the ink and
goes, no, no no no no no!
We can fix it! Please, please,
we're trying to help you!
We're trying to do what you want!
The ink begins to move.
(ink slurping)
- [Lou] Who's coming out? Oh!
- There it is!
- It's black instead of white!
And it's not Brennan's actual hand!
- Something from a truer, older world
that flattens and attempts to destroy you,
or at least render you immaterial,
moves with a viscous, palpitating feeling
that your world can be unmade
with something less than a thought,
that these things could destroy you
just by forgetting about you.
It'll fire once at you.
- My AC is actually 17
right now because I shifted.
- Copy that, give me a
constitution saving throw.
- My con save is a 21.
- Amazing, you take 24
necrotic damage halved to 12,
and I'm going to need a
wisdom saving throw from you.
- Three.
- 30?
- 30?
- 30.
- 30 minus 27, 3.
- You take 38 points of necrotic damage
halved to 19.
- Okay, I come out of my brown bear.
- And you are frightened
until the end of the Authors' next turn.
While frightened in this
way, you are paralyzed,
so you and Cinderella both go rigid.
You see she goes like,
are you trying to help me?
I don't feel you moving!
- I was trying to help you!
- Is she within 30 feet of me?
- Yeah.
- I have Countercharm.
- Countercharm is something
I think you have to do.
- Yeah, I just mean on my turn,
I could try to get you out of it.
- But you should be focusing on this.
- I don't think it takes an action.
I just have to remain there,
so I could throw an action.
- You see as the hand
appears, the fairies all gasp
and begin to panic as basically
the worst case scenario
of what they've been trying
to avoid comes to pass.
The Godmother calls out from
the back of the room, quickly!
Destroy the book holders!
And they are just going to start f*cking
lighting up these sort of
objects in front of you.
She moves here. Their AC
is 13 and their HP is 40.
- Got it.
- The one in front of Aesop
takes seven points of damage.
- Great.
- Pib, that's your turn.
- Okay.
- And you got a bird.
- This is a little different
than what I thought it was
going to be with the hand.
Should I go for the hand or
should I go for the fairy?
- I say fairies.
- The fairies are trying to k*ll-
- Great, that's what I thought.
I just wanted to double check.
Pib is going to fly up closer.
What is the range on the fireworks?
- I think 80/320, something like that.
- I want to hit these three.
- Okay, you also have a bird
to get in short range, if you want.
But you have sharpsh**ter!
- Yeah, and I have sharpsh**ter.
- Okay, you jump on a bird,
you light the firework,
and you want to hit all of them here?
- Yeah.
- Go ahead and roll 5d10.
- Okay, I need some d10s.
- If you have sharpsh**ter,
you might not need to get out in the open.
- [Murph] Pop out and then pop
down. - I'm going to use the
bird's full action to get close
and then move back.
- Cool, copy that.
- And the bird actually doesn't
take opportunity attacks.
- [Zac] Oh, really?
- [Brennan] Awesome.
- Yeah.
- Pib, could you try to do it,
just everything except-
- Make sure that the hat blows towards us.
- We all have our faves.
- Do you have another d10?
- Yeah.
- [Ally] Only hit the hat off of her head.
- [Siobhan] Right onto the Wolf's head.
- We all know the hat
is the spellcasting focus,
and we kind of need that gone.
- Her arcane focus is her
bright orange top hat.
She's like sexy Dumb and Dumber.
- I believe that's only 18.
- Okay. Orange saves for half.
- Orange saved for half?
- Yeah.
(Brennan laughs)
Pib, you fire a rocket. Boom!
Any bonus actions from you?
- The bird can attack,
also, if you want to.
- Okay.
- I'll just give you the bird.
- You wouldn't have let me
use the bird for the rocket, right?
- You want the bird to fire the rocket?
- I mean, a cricket fired a rocket.
- Cricket was brilliant.
- The bird speaks, and speaks
any language that I speak,
which is Celestial, Common, and Sylvan.
- It speaks three languages?
- Yes.
- Look, you're not going to
believe this. My name is Beaky.
- I'm not going to believe that?
- I worked in the a*tillery
for the Talking Animals Army
for over three years.
- That's huge.
- You put that firework in my talons,
and I'll tell you right now,
I'm going to make mincemeat
of these fairies, okay?
I was sucking down
cigarettes and firing mortars
out of a tank for over
three years, all right?
I've seen two active tours of duty,
and I'll tell you right now,
you put that rocket in my hand,
we're going to be drinking
bubblegum and eating whiskey.
- My man!
- What's up?
- Were you in the TAA?
- I was in the TAA.
- Thank you for your service!
- My friend.
- Gerard, I have another crush.
- [Brennan] We defended Toy Island.
- One of my favorite
tours of duty I ever been.
There was enough donkey meat to go around.
- [Zac] This guy has 60 feet of movement.
The bird flies to here.
- Okay.
- Fires a rocket.
- Okay, great. Boom.
- Here's the trick.
- Here's the trick, okay.
- Pib was never on the bird.
- Pib was never on the bird?
- The bird just did
this of its own ability.
- [Brennan] Okay, and what does Pib do?
- Pib gets to somewhere in
the middle of the bookcase
that is 60 feet away from one
of these guys, if possible.
- [Brennan] Okay, all
right, and what do you do?
- Throw a dagger at one of these guys.
Do you have the ruler? I'm sorry.
- [Brennan] Yeah, okay, the only fairy
that's in reach for you is
the Turquoise Hair Fairy.
- Can I have just moved
further down from there?
Is this a little closer,
basically, underneath the bird?
- [Brennan] Yeah, the bird
could fly you down here.
- Yes, I'll try that.
- Cool, cool.
- I'm going to throw a
dagger. Is this 60 feet away?
- [Brennan] The bird flies you down here,
sets up the rocket, fires it.
(Emily and Siobhan laughing)
- Having a normal one on Dimension 20.
- You know what, just having a moment
of appreciation for you as a DM.
We really appreciate-
- Hey, thanks.
Trying to adjudicate, trying
to make dreams come true.
Bird fires the rocket.
Roll your attack.
- Okay.
- [Brennan] Just trying to
keep people happy, you know?
It's a game.
At the end of the day, we're
all trying to have fun.
- The bird carries you down here,
sets up the rocket, fires it,
tells you about its
three active duty tours.
- 21.
- The lack of belief
in your voice when you said that.
- 21.
- You absolutely hit.
You see the bird puts you down.
All right, we're in forward position!
We need air cover! Get in here!
Puts the rocket in, bam. In
the smoke, you throw a dagger.
- I was stealthed previously.
I know this is insane.
- If you ask me for a
stealth roll right now,
you will find out.
You will find out. You will find out.
- All right, so what am I hitting it with,
if I had previously stealthed?
(Brennan sighs)
- Give me a stealth roll.
- He's hiding behind the bird.
- [Brennan] You're hiding behind the bird.
- 19 on the die.
- All the smoke
from the fireworks.
- Go ahead and roll your sneak
attack, your normal damage.
- Okay.
20 damage.
I'm not normally like
this. You know that, right?
- Are you attacking...
The yellow and green
both failed their saves.
Which are you attacking?
- Green.
- The green, okay.
- The closest.
- You, using the obfuscation
of the Toy Island firework,
you remove yourself from the line of sight
to use your sharpsh**ter
feat to get sneak attack
as you throw a wolf's tooth
into the chest of the Green Fairy,
who dies,
(players cheering)
tumbling out into the pages below.
The first of the fairies is no more.
- Yes!
You have reinforced behavior,
and we are ready to go!
- I use my Feline Agility
to go 60 feet that way.
- [Brennan] Goddammit!
- [Emily] Can I just
have an attack right now?
- Incredible.
- [Ally] Yes. Yes you do.
- [Brennan] Okay, you leap over here.
Bam, Pib jumps back on the ziggurat,
leaving the bird there, out in the open.
- Smoking a really stinky cigar.
- He's still talking about the w*r.
He just assumes you're behind him.
Then this other guy, Kenny-
- The bird is going to get
unloaded on by fairies.
- I f*cking love Kenny!
- The bird came out, fired-
- I asked to let them
tell his parents myself,
but they wouldn't let me.
- Bird carries you out there,
sets up a rocket, was the funniest part.
- Okay, Scheherazade's bookcase
takes six points of damage.
The Yellow Fairy is going
to begin to descend,
flying towards this direction.
At the beginning of Aesop's
turn, he is going to make
a constitution saving
throw, which he fails.
He takes 21 points of damage
just from being in the
presence of the hand.
He vomits blood and ink out of his body.
Aesop is going to use his action
to give you the help action
for any concentration
checks that you need to make
to hold onto your spell,
and is going to undo
another one of Snow White's rounds,
so that's only two rounds
of Snow White's spell left.
You see Aesop is going to
reach into his book and go,
beasts of the Land of Birds and Beasts,
come to the aid of Aesop the storyteller!
And a shark lands here.
(Emily cackling)
Ha! He tosses a shark.
- Red, it's funny, but...
- Anyone ever heard the
story of the shark and the...
Don't say rabbit. What's another one?
- Rabbit!
- Rabbit. Dammit!
- Shark and the rabbit.
Rabbit is riding the shark.
- Yeah, and the shark eats
him and says, I'm a scorpion!
- How is the shark doing?
Is it swimming through ethereal space
or is it flapping on the ground?
- No, it looks like it really
wants to make Aesop proud,
and it is flopping along the books
in the direction of the fight.
- Come on, buddy.
- [Brennan] Mother Goose,
that's going to be your turn.
- Wow.
- Beginning of your turn,
I'm going to need a
constitution saving throw.
- Okay.
- And you add to that, right?
Because of Elody.
- You add a d4 to that because of Elody,
so go ahead and just roll to
see if you take damage or not.
- I do.
- Okay, even with a d4?
- What am I adding to this? Con?
- [Brennan] Your constitution
saving throw, yeah.
- [Emily] Timothy is f*cking amazing.
- My con is actually
pretty beefy. That's a 12.
- 12, not going to do it.
You're going to take the damage.
You take
12, 14, 16,
you take 17 points of necrotic damage.
How're you looking health-wise?
- Bad.
- Okay, now comes the concentration check
to hold concentration,
so this is going to be,
yeah, you're rolling with advantage
and you get to add Elody's d4 to this.
- Okay.
- I'm going to use the Starstruck dice.
Okay, what am I-
- DC 10.
- A d4.
- [Brennan] You add a d4.
- Okay, 16.
- Easy, you hold concentration.
Right at the beginning of your turn,
you have held concentration for two rounds
on the ink in front of you.
- And they only have
two rounds left that they're taking away.
- They only have two rounds
left that they're taking away,
so theoretically, if
Scheherazade and Aesop
get another round each, Snow
White's spell will be gone
and then the longer you
can hold concentration,
the more chances you get
for your spell to work.
- Do I get the impression that this hand
is from Snow White's spell?
- No, this looks like the
Authors have come here
because they've realized that something
is not going according to
the stories they wrote.
- Okay.
- They seem to have realized
that the Neverafter has happened at all.
They are coming here to change this.
That's, no action economy required,
it's your turn.
- Great, okay.
I guess I will Cure Wounds.
Who's looking more f*cked
up, Scheherazade or Aesop?
- Scheherazade's looking more f*cked up.
- Okay, okay, then I'll do that.
- [Brennan] Scheherazade's
at one hit point.
- Ohh, right!
- It's just a Goodberry.
- Yeah, I feel like Scheherazade
might go down no matter what.
- Unless you put a beefy
Cure Wounds on there,
potentially, yeah.
- Yeah, I'm going to
do 4d8 of Cure Wounds.
- Okay, go ahead and roll.
- 5, 10,
15, baby.
With the four, 19.
- 19, hell yes.
- Then I have Telekinetic
Shove as my bonus action.
Can I ready that, if
someone gets pushed out
from the five foot aura of the ink
that we're trying to be at,
where I could pull them back
towards me, which would pull
them back into their five-
- Into the five foot aura?
In this case, I'll allow it.
I will say yes, you can
ready a bonus action.
You'll still use your
full reaction to do it,
but that sounds good to me.
- Okay, cool.
- You ready that Telekinetic Shove.
Awesome turn from Mother Goose.
Cinderella is still held
at the end of her turn.
- This is really intimate.
- You feel her move, come
out of it, kind of knock you,
paralyzed, off balance,
reach out and grab you.
- Okay.
- [Brennan] That is
going to be Elody's turn.
Elody is going to step up one more.
She's going to go right over here
and is going to swing on this hand.
- Yeah! Yeah!
- Yeah, Elody. Get in there.
- Elody jumps up to the hand.
Also, she's got to make the save
against the f*cking aura right away.
She makes her save and takes no damage.
- Nice.
- Yeah!
- Incredible.
Wow.
- She's so talented.
- [Brennan] She's so talented.
You see Elody look at this hand emerge,
and she looks over at you, Frog Prince,
and looks back at the hand,
sees you, sees the hand,
leaps up another step and goes,
I don't like my story!
And slams this golden ball, boom! Boom!
And each time, you see
a vision in the light,
one of your human form,
another of her as a girl by the pond.
Boom, boom!
Hand looks pretty unfazed,
but a hefty amount of damage goes into it.
Red, at the end of your turn,
you come out of the paralysis
and you're on this flying stack of books
with Cinderella looking at you.
- Okay, since you let Pib
go so nuts on his turn-
(Brennan laughs)
- [Brennan] You see what happens, Zac?
Don't look away from me.
You see what happens?
- Don't look away from me.
- All I'm asking is if
we could just scooch this
right in range of this,
and I could Wild Shape.
- [Lou] Scooch?
- Scooch it right in range,
and I could Wild Shape.
- That actually is pretty reasonable.
- Here's the thing, I
don't know what Zac was-
- I went so much crazier.
- That would fly directly in
the face of rules as written,
so we're not going to allow
that, but I will allow you,
if you want to interact with
Cinderella in this moment,
you can interact with Cinderella.
- When I speak, it backfires,
so I'm letting the actions
speak for themselves.
- Copy that.
- A real growing moment.
- Copy that.
- Then on my turn,
can I at least shout to
Pinocchio or the books
and just be like, get
us in range of the hand!
- You don't have to yell
at the books! I got it!
- [Ally] Oh my god, she's stunning.
- Now that Pinocchio can actually see her,
you know... (stammering nervously)
- Pinocchio!
- Your staff is growing in your hand.
- Eight points of damage to
Scheherazade's animated object.
Scheherazade at the start of her turn
has to make that con save.
Oh, wait a minute!
- She has the d4, right?
- She does have the d4 from Elody.
She rolled an 18 on the
die. Her con is plus two.
She makes the save!
Scheherazade looks at this Author,
looks at the hand and says,
it's just your hand for now.
If your face was here,
I'd look you in the eye
and tell you how f*cked up you are!
And whips back around,
takes another one of Snow White's rounds.
- One left.
- One left.
Blue Fairy is going to
move forward, over here,
is going to fire twice
on Mother Goose's bookcase, hit twice.
- Silvery Barbs.
- Oh sh*t, okay.
- [Ally] To take away from one of those.
- Okay, she misses one of them.
- Okay, great.
- [Brennan] Who are you
giving advantage to?
- I am going to give, who's
up next in the rotashe?
- Rosamund and Pinocchio are up next.
- Okay, great. Rosamund,
I'll give you advantage.
Do you not need it?
- Give it to Pinocchio.
- Can't get a damn advantage to save my-
- Everyone's just showering
Rosamund with sh*t,
and nothing to f*cking Lou.
- I'll give it to Pinocchio.
- Oh. Oh!
- Pinocchio gets it.
Pinocchio, five damage
to Mother Goose's cover.
- I love all my children equally.
- 26 on Scheherazade's, 33 on Aesop's,
35 on Mother Goose's.
- [Brennan] Tom Thumb is going to leap off
and give a Goodberry to Mira.
- Great work, Tom.
- [Ally] She accidentally swallows him.
- He goes... (grunting)
- Oh, yes!
- Open up! open up!
Berry! And starts massaging the cheeks.
You're going to swallow!
Kicking his tiny legs. Go!
- Like grape smashing.
- Grape smashing, exactly.
- It's like making wine.
- Tom loves waking people up.
- [Brennan] Rosamund,
that's going to be you.
- Great.
- [Murph] Rosamund, I have a combo pitch.
- Hell yeah.
- You have your book, right?
- Yeah.
- Because this whole kind of
side is mostly from your story.
- Oh, you're right!
- And if I had your book,
and I did some frog stuff,
and you injured them first-
- [Siobhan] Sure.
- We might be able to get them out quick.
- Yeah.
- I remember Pib's nat 20, we found out
that if they're injured,
they're easy to put in the book.
- They're easy to put in
the book, that's correct.
- The blue one is already injured,
- [Emily] It'd be nice to kind of
put her away. and because it's my
turn again, takes that crit again.
- Oh, wait, it's top of your
turn. She dies, she just dies.
- Great.
- Wow.
- So I actually want to start the round,
can I do an insight check on the bad fairy
to see if I could persuade
her to turn to our side?
- Yeah, give me an insight
check for free. Go for it.
- That's a classic three.
- I don't think you-
- No, a six.
- I don't think you know.
- Great, I might give it a go anyway.
I'll use my bonus action
- I like that.
- [Siobhan] to give her a go.
- Cool.
- Disadvantage.
- [Brennan] Disadvantage.
Go for it, persuasion.
- Persuasion.
Okay, okay, it's a 15.
- 15. What do you say to the
Wicked Fairy as she approaches?
- Do you really want to
be the bad guy forever?
Do you like that?
- She looks and says,
who cares what I want?
You see what is here!
She gestures to the hand
of the Author crawling.
What is your will in the face of this?
- To stop them from having will over us.
- On a 15, she looks rattled
by what you have said,
but goes, don't you understand?
We have one chance to set this right,
put the stories back the way
they were, and live our lives!
Would you throw away Happily Ever After
for a chance to face this in combat?
- Yeah, because Happily
Ever After isn't real.
- That hand, as you say that,
flexes with malevolent
energy and whips to face you.
What is your action?
- I am going to
sh**t one arrow at each of these
lovely ladies.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah, go for it.
- [Lou] ♪ Lovely ladies ♪
- Okay, one of them is a 27
and one of them is a 19.
- Both hit.
- Great.
Great, 10 to one and then
12 to another.
- Okay.
- And then I'm going to use my swarm
to give me half cover until
the start of my next turn.
- As two arrows fly-
- [Murph] Can I have your book?
- Yeah, then I'm going
to object interaction
pass my book to Gerard.
- Hell yeah.
You give your book to Gerard.
As you do so, the briars
are moving around you,
giving you cover.
Pinocchio, that's your turn.
- Can Red's books and Cinderella's books
move closer to the hand,
is there any world in which
you'd let me attempt a grapple
check against the hand?
- f*ck yeah.
- Great.
I want to, I guess the
books would move over it,
and attempt to pin it down.
- Give me some con saves, actually.
- [Lou] Okay.
- Give me four constitution saving throws.
- Are these for the books?
- These are for your books,
because of the hand's presence.
- Would they have the d4 added to them?
- They would, yeah.
- Mother Goose.
Aesop.
Scheherazade.
The one Red's on.
Ooh, those are all bad.
The highest is a 12.
- Okay, all of them at the beginning
of their turn take 24 points of damage.
♪ That's not good ♪
24 to everyone but Flat William.
- Great, cool.
- Cool.
They're all still up
but looking bad, right?
- Oh yeah.
- Okay.
- The tower's going to
try and pin the hand.
- Go for it. Give me the grapple.
- Great.
- [Zac] Come on, come on, come on.
- [Emily] ♪ Smoke on the water ♪
I'm going to use that. 17
plus 5 to attack, so 22.
- Okay, no one has any other
PC creep kind of things
they want to do to this contest?
- Is it within Elody's?
- Is it within Elody's?
- You have bardic, or you have advantage.
- I will allow you to roll
Elody's bonus to attack here.
Just don't get a one.
- That's a three.
- This thing got a 24. With
three, that becomes 25.
The Authors' hand malevolently
moving towards Rosamund.
Pinocchio, you pull a
string, and a stack of books
flattens the hand to the
side of the ziggurat,
and you hear a hissing crack
as though something liquid and yet solid
underneath the hand
breaks, and you see ink
just starts to bubble up
from the books around you.
You just see a big splotch of ink
begin to sort of bubble up.
That's its attack. Anything
else from the animated objects?
- We'll leave everything there.
Me and Flat Willy are going to take a trip
and start climbing the ziggurat up.
- He's just going to heft you
onto his shoulder and say, off we go!
- All right, Flat. Thanks, man.
- [Brennan] Cool. Is this good, up here?
- We'll use all of his movement.
- [Brennan] Okay, yeah,
he'll get you up here.
- We'll go with him.
- Boom.
- Then I'm going to talk to
the Fairy with Turquoise Hair.
- Hell yeah, she turns to look at you,
looking at that Authors' hand.
- I'll use the Silvery Barbs here
- Oh, nice!
- to flatten it out.
- [Emily] Yeah!
- I'm going to let you know right now,
this is definitely Box of Doom.
- Okay.
- Her DC for you is only 15.
- Okay.
- Okay, baby.
- So we only need a cool 10.
- Okay, and it's a flat.
- We only need a cool 10.
And I'm just going to roll on the desk.
I'm not going to shake my wrist around.
I'm not going to do anything crazy.
- Don't flick anything.
- No flicking.
Nothing going on.
- Just a light toss.
- Here it is. Hey, hey, here it is!
- 16 on the die!
- Yes!
- 21!
- Yes!
- Pinocchio, your books carry you.
You look and see the
Fairy with Turquoise Hair
standing here, looking
at the Authors' hand,
and she looks up at you weeping
as she realizes you can
never be a real boy again.
What does Pinocchio say to her?
- I'm sorry, I had to do it.
I know you've always wanted to help me.
You've always thought you've
known what's best for me.
Now, I know what's best
for me, and it's this,
and it's what we're doing.
Please!
- She looks at the Authors' hand.
She looks at you.
Either it's too late,
or it's not,
and either way, I'd rather be with you.
And you see immediately
after you, it is her turn.
She turns around, looks at
the hand, makes eye contact
with you and goes, if it
can be done, let it be done.
What's the point of magic if
you can't rewrite destiny?
And she dives headfirst
into the pages and vanishes.
- [Ally] What?
- She's always kind of
done things her way, so!
- The Red Fairy calls out
and says, Turquina lost it!
Keep the fire focused!
- Turquina?
- Turquina!
- [Siobhan] What a reveal for the finale.
- [Ally] Turkey-na?
- Turquina.
Coming straight for the
books in front of Aesop.
That's going to be 13 damage.
(Lou mimics books shredding)
Toast. Aesop is exposed.
You see that as she does that,
Aesop looks at the Red Fairy and goes,
if I die,
so be it.
The moral of this story is,
you got to try your best.
Baba Yaga's turn, she
looks at Aesop and says,
what is the moral of my story?
He looks and says, what's your deal?
She says, I like you.
She looks at the Red Fairy
that just blew up his cover and goes, ha!
And just charges the Red
Fairy to attempt to k*ll her.
- We love it. OCD
boyfriend, ADD girlfriend.
- You see Baba Yaga
just grabs the Red Fairy
and thuds her into the ground,
just lands her mortar, boom!
And kills the Red Fairy.
She lands here, boom!
- Baba Yaga.
- After that, the Wicked Fairy
is going to take some shots
on Aesop.
- If I have my shove ready,
could I try to pull him
towards me behind my bookshelf?
- You readied your action if he fell.
He takes 14 points of
damage and doesn't fall.
- Okay.
- He does take a level of exhaustion,
but you see he just lands there and goes,
as these radiant bolts hit him, he goes,
I hate stories with magic in them!
You don't need magic,
you just need some
animals learning lessons.
- Agree to disagree, but you get to write
whatever you want in our new world.
- Do not take this guy's class.
- Gerard, that's your turn.
- Okay, I'll go over there
and I'll make an attack
against the Wicked Fairy, I guess,
because I have Rosamund's book.
- Hell yeah, you want to make an attack
against the Wicked Fairy.
- With the book, to try to-
- Oh, sick.
I'll say because those two
are right next to each other,
they can both make a save to
not go into the book. - Sick.
- Cool.
- Yeah!
- And they're both hurt,
right? So it's lower?
- Yes, they are both
hurt. They are both hurt.
Which means they make their
saves with disadvantage.
- Great.
Blep.
- This frog is just very funny
looking every now and then.
- I like to think my tongue
is wrapped around the book,
and I sh**t it out and
open it and then close it
as it goes into my mouth.
- It's covered in hair.
- The Wicked Fairy turns
her eyes at the last second,
but the Fairy Godmother looks
at you as you hop up and says,
frog again, but not so
much a little boy anymore.
You're sort of a big ol'
frog now, aren't you?
- Yes, and I made myself
a big frog this time
instead of being turned
into a little frog,
and I eat birds now.
- Wait, birds?
- Yeah, I ate a freaking bird.
I ate a huge-a*s bird, and
Rapunzel was talking sh*t
about me from a freaking
lake, and you know what?
I ate her, too.
- Jesus Christ!
(Emily laughing)
- Things have been f*cked up,
and a lot of that's your fault!
- You, bleh! And the book falls out.
She (shrieks) gets sucked into the book.
The Fairy Godmother is no more.
- Yes.
- Woo!
- I'd like to make a second attack
against the Wicked Fairy.
- Nice.
- Hell yeah, awesome.
Same thing, trying to put her in the book?
- Yeah.
- All right.
- Put her in the book!
- Put her in the book!
- Get in the book!
- Put her in the book!
- She fails. She looks at
you and goes, listen, this...
Don't you want to go back to your story?
You can't possibly want to be a frog!
- I eat birds now, okay?
- You keep bringing that up on your own.
- It was a huge thing for me.
- [Brennan] Wicked Fairy,
sucked into the book. Shwoom!
- I love this guy.
- Beaky f*cking rules.
- Do not ask how he voted.
- That bird's a hero.
- Don't ask.
- Mira, at one hit point,
rushes over to the Baba Yaga
and looks at the Baba Yaga,
asking if she can jump
on the Baba Yaga's flying mortar
to go fight these fairies.
- Oh, cool.
- Cool.
- At the end of the round,
the pages stop rippling
and Pib, you feel
those cutbacks moving.
As it does so, Gerard.
- What?
- At the edge of your platform,
roaring out of the pages,
oh, hello!
- Oh god.
- The Stepmother appears.
- What?
- Tom!
- sh*t.
- And looks at the hand
specifically and says, do I strike...
Here, moving, you see the Evil Queen.
For a second, you see a woman
you don't recognize, Ylfa,
and she looks and says, do I strike you
as a poor piece of writing?
And that is her turn.
Back at the top of the order,
the Authors' hand is going to go.
It's currently grappled.
It's trying to move.
Do you want to allow it to move or no?
- Based on the tug of the
string, do I get the sense
the hand wants to go after the Stepmother?
- I think you feel that the hand
wants to go after the Stepmother.
- I give that string some slack,
letting the Authors' hand move.
- Okay, it is going to
escape from the grapple.
- I'm in the way here,
because I'm on this thing,
grappling it.
- Yeah, for sure.
- Can I use my reaction to hit it?
- Yeah, give me an attack
of opportunity. Go for it.
- Okay.
I just did really well. 26 to hit.
- 26 hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
- Feels kind of silly
to just do little dinky
damage, but why not?
- [Lou] Now it's going to change its mind.
- But if you hit it with
Sentinel, it can't move.
- Well, but Pinocchio wants it to move,
so I'm going to let it move.
- Allow it to move, yeah.
- Okay, yeah, just eight
damage, that's all.
- Hey, great, you slash out
and strike one of the hands
of these eldritch beings of
pure coldness and malevolence.
- What do you mean one of the hands?
What do you mean one
of the hands, Brennan?
- One of the hands. The
hand surges forward.
- Beaky!
- Beaky!
- He's a veteran!
- Beaky looks up and says,
you're a dumb m*therf*cker
and I'm going to k*ll you.
- Me at the bar literally two
nights ago yelling at someone.
- Ally, you've got to
explain that a little later.
- You're a dumb m*therf*cker
and I'm going to k*ll you.
- Says a bird to a massive, eldritch hand.
You see that the Authors' hand points out
and fires ink directly at
the Stepmother. (shrieks)
She (cackles) screams in delight
as the hand moves towards her.
Pib, that's you.
- I don't know what to
do. Pib's looking around.
Do we still feel like we need to work
on these fairies now, or what?
- I'm actually going to do a
persuasion check on my turn
on the orange hat fairy,
so I think we should-
- Can I look into the paper on the ground?
- Yeah, go for it.
- See if there's anything,
since that has stopped
rippling in the same way.
Okay.
That is perception?
15.
- What are you looking for specifically?
- Does it seem like it
would hurt to go in it?
I saw the fairy dive down.
- Yes, you don't think
it would be good for you
to dive into that paper.
- Okay, never mind.
- The bird can come get
you, also, if you want.
The bird doesn't take opportunity attacks.
- Okay.
- Going to need
a constitution saving throw from the bird.
- You want me to roll it?
- Yeah, go ahead and roll.
- Nat one.
- Okay.
- Dammit.
- The bird is going to
take 21 points of damage.
- Beaky!
- So, you know.
- Yeah, Beaky looks up and says,
you're a dumb m*therf*cker!
You're a dumb, stupid piece of sh*t!
- Let 'em have it, Beaky!
- f*ck you!
- Tell 'em how it is!
- I'll tell you this right now.
You see blood gushing out
of every hole in Beaky.
- [Zac] You'll live forever, Beaky.
- Bring him back! Bring him back!
- I'll tell you this right now.
- I'll bring him back.
- You think my bird's cooked?
I'll cook your stupid a*s.
How do you know where to go?
You got no eyes, you big dumb hand.
f*ck your a*s! And Beaky dies.
- I think Pinocchio fully salutes him.
- Yeah, we all, I'm still
holding concentration,
but I'm just like-
- Saluting Beaky?
- Thank you for your service.
- Thank you for your service, Beaky!
- [Zac] He was the best of us.
- I die a winner!
- I'm going to try to get up
a little higher on the center platform
and throw a dagger at the Yellow Fairy.
- [Brennan] Cool, yeah yeah
yeah. You jump up here?
- Yeah.
- Cool.
Go ahead and give me an attack roll.
- Any world where I could
hide first to try to throw-
- Yeah, go for it.
- Okay.
- [Lou] Little cat!
- That is 17 on the die, so 27.
- Advantage, you got
it. Go ahead and roll.
Give me sneak attack.
- That's a 24 to hit.
- 24 hits.
Go ahead and roll damage
on the Yellow Fairy.
- I love that you guys
kept the Orange Fairy.
- We very clearly only
kept the Orange Fairy up,
and I think we should keep with that plan.
- I'm really, genuinely going
to do a persuasion check.
- She's just going to,
like, k*ll Aesop next turn.
- [Siobhan] That's a 30 to persuasion.
- to get the orange fairy on our side.
- 18 damage.
- [Brennan] Done.
Dagger flies out, Yellow
Fairy falls into the pages.
- I had no relationship with you!
- Good, and that was the
fairy that was going to go
right after you.
- It wasn't strategic,
we're trying to keep orange hat alive.
- Because we need to persuade her.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Having no cover any longer,
Aesop is going to bound down
the staircase, leap forward.
He looks down at Tom Thumb and
says, you're a fine warrior!
Let's get a steed for the
man! And throws a cat.
He throws a cat down there.
He will reach up and give
a bardic to you as well.
- I appreciate it.
- Mother Goose, that is your turn.
Keeping your concentration,
that is your third round
holding onto this spell.
With Snow White's spell gone,
I will explain to you now
what the stakes of the battle have become.
You can keep holding concentration
for as long as you want.
You can let go on any of your turns
and let the spell fire off,
try to rewrite what you want to rewrite.
You will get as many
rolls at being successful
as you have maintained
rounds of concentration.
So you could do it right now
and you would have three chances,
or you could try to hold
on for as long as possible
and keep concentrating,
the risk there, of course,
being that if you break
your concentration,
you'll lose the spell.
But right now, Aesop just gave you
that bardic inspiration, which you have,
so that's the situation
you now find yourself in.
You can release the spell on your turn,
but if your concentration
breaks, you lose it, cool?
- Yes.
- Okay.
- I think I should hold
on at least another round.
- Yeah, you don't have anybody
immediately attacking you.
- Yeah, five feels right. Five, six.
- Heck, even four. I'd f*ck with four.
- [Siobhan] I'd f*ck with four.
- Yeah, can I look to Scheherazade?
So, she's not removing the spell anymore.
Can she help add...
Can she work on our spell with us?
- I think that she can give you advantage
on either saving throws
or resisting breaks
to your concentration
to make it a safer bet
to hold on for more rounds.
- Okay.
- But also, you still have
your action and bonus action,
if you have any spells you want to cast
or anything else like that.
- Incredible, I will
take the dodge action.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- And Scheherazade's still
at like 19 hit points
or 20 hit points or something?
- She's low, yeah, for sure.
- I guess, ah!
- How are you looking? You're only at 24.
- I'm only at 24, yeah.
- Heal thyself.
- [Brennan] I might heal yourself.
- Okay, I cast a Cure Wounds on myself.
- Cool.
- And then I'm throwing
a bardic at the werewolf.
- Cool.
- The Big Bad Wolf.
- Cool.
- Hell yeah.
- Okay, you heal yourself.
You throw a bardic to Ylfa.
At the end of your turn, Mother Goose,
again, you have three
rounds on your spell,
Cinderella turns, sees you, Gerard,
suck her Fairy Godmother into a book,
and then looks and sees the
Stepmother for the first time.
She reaches down, she looks at you
still holding each other and she says-
- Oops, I'm still frozen.
- Do you want to let
me go fight this thing?
- Yeah.
- You see she pulls a glass shard out,
leaps down from this dizzying height,
and she is going to
begin to surge forward.
She gets all the way here.
As she leaps forward,
she's going to take that falling damage.
Elody looks out and looks to you,
seeing the Stepmother, and
says, get out of there!
Get out of there!
- Yes, as soon as possible!
- [Brennan] She's going
to climb up even higher
to get back to this position up here.
Ylfa, that's going to be you.
- Okay, I think the only
thing I can attack is this.
- There's another option.
- There's another option!
- [Ally] It's kind of
right in front of you.
- No, there's only one
person you can attack.
- [Siobhan] Come on.
- You think I have to attack her?
- No, I think you can convince
her. Her whole party's gone.
It's almost like a muster morale check.
- Maybe do an insight check to
see if you can convince her.
- Can I do an insight check?
- [Brennan] Sure, give
me an insight check.
- I'm going to waste a crit on this.
- [Ally] She'll join the party.
- I'm wasting a 19 on it, so 22.
- It looks like things have gone
kind of south for her, yeah.
She looks more persuadable
than she would've been
if any of her allies
were still on the field.
- What you're trying
to do here, it's done!
Can't you see that there's
a bigger battle going on?
- [Siobhan] Murph is fully dissociating.
- Do you want to use an
action or a bonus action
on this persuasion check?
- This is revenge for the
roll you did yesterday.
- Action!
- Action or bonus action?
- You crit and she joins the party!
- I'm going to use a bonus action.
- [Brennan] You're going
to use a bonus action?
- Yeah.
- What?
- I'm going to use Call of Destiny.
- Call of Destiny just
replaces the lower one.
- So you've got to roll-
- So minus one persuasion.
- I think there's a chance
there's going to be a more important roll.
- You need both of these
to be a 16 or higher.
Here we go.
- I got you.
- Unless you want to use
your action and roll flat.
- No, no, no.
- I got you.
- Use your bonus action.
- Please don't.
- Use your bonus action.
- Use your BA.
- Please don't.
- Here we go.
- Hey, if this doesn't
work, we can k*ll her.
- [Zac] Please don't!
- Bonus action. Here we go.
- [Ally] I'm team action.
- I haven't heard your story
yet, and if you stick around,
I'll never hear your story.
I want to know where
that top hat came from.
- This is deserved.
- It's c*ck!
- It's c*ck? Okay.
- 11 and a 15.
- Okay!
- So there is no possible
way for Call of Destiny,
so that is your bonus action.
You have an action. What
would you like to do?
- I guess I've got to just attack her.
- Okay, go for it.
- I'll recklessly attack her.
- No!
- Go for it. Here we go.
- I'm going to recklessly attack her,
because that's the only space
I can be in to attack her.
- Okay, all right, go for it.
- Maybe she'll respect you,
and then she'll be easier to
convince for the next person.
- Yes.
- This hurts me more than it hurts you.
Wait a second, I just realized
on that bonus action
persuasion I do have a bardic.
- It wouldn't have worked, you need two-
- [Brennan] No, one was a 15.
- I could've used Call of Destiny.
- So Pinocchio could
use a Call of Destiny.
You want to roll this right now?
- Please don't. Please don't.
- [Brennan] You're going to use it? Okay.
We're going to use it.
- She could be so powerful!
- How many of these do you get, three?
How many have you used?
- One, so now I have one left.
- Okay, here we go.
- Come on, girl.
- [Murph] You need to get
a 16 or higher on this.
- Yeah.
- I'm the boy of destiny.
- You're the boy of destiny.
- Yeah, you are.
- [Brennan] That's a nine.
But that was what, it was a 15?
- It was a 15 and 11.
- And 11. So, 11-
- Your bardic's gone.
- No, 11-
(Lou laughs so hard he starts coughing)
11 minus 1 is 10.
If you roll a five on the bardic,
if you roll a five on the bardic-
- I'm going to leave if she does this.
- [Brennan] If you don't hit a
five, Murph's going to leave.
- If she gets it, I'm
gone. It's me or her.
- [Brennan] Five?
- It is 6 AM in a warehouse
in La Cienega.
- There it is! You got it!
- This is the stupidest sh*t.
- That's an eight!
On an orange d8!
- [Siobhan] That's a wrap on
Murph, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you so much.
- Season wrap on Brian
Murphy. You look at her.
Hey, Little Red Riding Hood,
what do you say to this orange fairy?
- I say-
- We poured resources-
- This isn't your fight.
It never was your fight.
Your fight is with the people.
You need to leave here
and leave your top hat.
- Leave your top hat?
- She looks at you.
- Can we get back the
top hat for Little Red?
- She looks at you and goes,
little girl.
Hat down the arm.
(Emily shrieks with joy)
You've been struck by a smooth criminal.
Goes horizontal and moonwalks
straight into the pages.
- Oh my god!
- [Murph] Oh my god.
- [Ally] It's 2 PM in
La Cañada Flintridge.
- I put the hat on.
- [Siobhan] There's a
fire rapidly approaching.
- Bonus action, you use your bardic
against the laws of god and man.
In defiance of destiny,
you get a cool orange hat.
- In this moment, Ylfa realizes
that's her first persuasion
check she's ever succeeded.
- [Brennan] Ever succeeded
on. And guess what?
That fairy was next,
and is now gone.
- Great job.
- But you still have an
action and your movement.
- Does it count as an
action to put on the hat?
- Shut the f*ck up.
- The way I do it, it does.
- This turn is getting so stupid
that you continue to
lose people as you go.
I wasn't on board with anything.
You lost Zac eventually.
- It's incredible that-
- As soon as you say
action to do a hat, no thanks.
- All of this is going to
happen, and Murph's going to die.
- We know that that's how
this is going to work!
- [Brennan] We know that's how this works.
- Okay, okay.
- Oh my god, yes.
- So if I still have an action,
what is the movement
of this situation like?
- Normally that goes on Pinocchio's turn,
but I'll allow us to change
it over to your turn,
to kind of be like, if you would allow,
then it has a speed of
30, it can dash and go 60.
- Okay, so I'll have it go 60.
- Cool.
- So how far will that get me?
Because then I might dash just to stand
right in front of Gerard.
- Nice.
- [Brennan] 60 will get
you all the way here,
and you'll be able to leap-
- [Emily] 60, and then
I'll be able to leap.
- Yeah.
- So I'm just going to stand-
- Can you leap, grab, and leap
back? How far is the leap?
- [Siobhan] She might have crazy reach.
- [Emily] I think she's going
to come for Gerard, right?
- Yeah.
- Then can I save my action?
- [Brennan] You can ready
an action to hit her.
- I'm going to ready an
action to use my action
to attack her if she comes for Gerard,
but if she goes for this guy,
I'm not getting in the way.
- Hell yeah, at the end of her turn,
she's going to swipe at you, Red.
That's going to hit.
Geez, that's a bad roll.
4 plus 9, 13 halved to 6
slashing damage to you.
- Okay.
- [Brennan] After Red, that
is going to be Scheherazade.
- Yes.
- Great.
- [Brennan] Scheherazade's
going to give you advantage.
Pinoch, she's going to give you a bardic.
- Thank you.
- She's going to look and
say, a door? Anything?
I mean, I don't know what
else we would even call.
- I think, will we need
a door out of here?
- Depending on your plan, Tim,
I don't know that there's
a door out of here.
- What about Jack or Old King Cole?
- Those are all in your book.
- Those are all in your book.
- What about Sinbad?
- Give me an insight check
with advantage, if you'd be so kind.
- Ooh.
(Siobhan sighs)
Still okay, though. Insight, I have...
That's a 19.
- If you think about some of
the biggest mythical things,
some of the biggest
creatures that are here
in terms of turning the tide,
there is one creature left
that you could invite here.
I don't know why you would, necessarily,
other than if things look really dire,
which is the Gander itself.
- Oh.
- Oh.
- So I think in that case,
Scheherazade is going to hit
you with a upcast Cure Wounds
using her action and
heal you for another 14.
- So sick.
- [Brennan] Cool, that's
Scheherazade's turn.
- [Zac] That's not what
I think it is, is it?
- We all know exactly what it is.
- There's no way, right?
- [Ally] Oh my god.
- What's happening? (cackling)
♪ You've been hit by ♪
♪ You've been struck
by a smooth criminal ♪
- [Zac] I f*cking quit, guys.
- Death has such a fashionable hat.
- [Zac] I f*cking quit.
- Oh my god!
- f*cking true Goofy
Movie energy. This is-
- [Lou] Perform Powerline, straight-up.
- Yes!
- Happy Halloween!
- [Lou] If we listen
to each other's hearts.
- [Lou] ♪ If we listen
to each other's hearts ♪
- [Ally] Wow.
- Well,
absolutely unacceptable.
- When the Stepmother rips her soul out,
it's going to have a stupid hat on.
- I bet there's a spell
trapped in this hat.
- I think so.
- It's an arcane focus.
- Tom Thumb is going to ride his cat
up to also cover Gerard.
- Cute.
- I got you, buddy!
- Tom, you're crazy.
You're so solid.
- Rosamund, that's your turn.
- The Authors are coming.
The Stepmother is here.
Everything looks bad.
But we have each other.
I'm just going to attack the Stepmother
three times, I think.
- Cool, go for it.
- So the first attack is a 27 to hit.
- 27 hits.
- Second attack is a crit.
- Oh my god. Okay, incredible.
- Oh my god, Siobhan!
- Then the third attack
is a dirty 20 to hit.
- They all hit.
- Yes, okay, so the first one-
♪ If we listen to each other's hearts ♪
- As the orange hat comes
into your field of view.
- 10 damage on the first one.
- It just slides in.
- [Emily] The arrow captures
the hat and deposits it
on the head of the Stepmother.
- 10, 22, 29,
34 damage on the second,
so that's 44 damage.
- Okay.
- And then the third one is
five damage,
so that's 49 damage from me.
- Wow.
- Jesus.
Three arrows thunder across, and the crit,
how much damage was the crit again?
- 34.
- 34.
So, 34 in half is 17.
The Stepmother, very
likely to succeed on this,
but we're just going to roll
in the Box of Doom regardless.
Con save plus 7,
10 or higher succeeds,
5 or lower, instant death.
- Come on!
- [Brennan] That's a four.
Legendary resistance.
- All right.
- Counterspell!
- Counterspell doesn't work
against legendary resistance.
- But we burned a legendary resistance.
That's good. I'll take it.
- You see Sleeping
Beauty, arrow to the bow.
What should have been an instant k*ll,
you see ink and paper
flying out from behind her
as she burns through one of her
three legendary resistances.
(Brennan shrieks)
Screaming.
- Amazing.
- [Brennan] Any bonus actions from you?
- The third attack was a bonus action.
- Cool, at the end of your turn,
she is going to burn
two legendary actions.
- [Siobhan] I actually might move
to get half cover right here.
- Yeah, go for it.
- Great.
- Unbelievable.
- All of these rolls have
been the ones that I have
not been getting all season,
it feels really good.
- The Stepmother burns
two legendary actions,
reaches out a hand
to do something to the Authors' hand here.
Pages start to fly in a
spiraling cone from her,
and for the first time,
Baba Yaga stops laughing.
You see Baba Yaga leaps up
into the midst of the helix
and goes, some things must not be allowed,
and she is hit and Baba Yaga vanishes.
- Whoa!
- Not good.
- Was that Banishment?
- Because you called
it exactly on the head,
it did not look like a destruction,
it looked like a binding
and a putting in somewhere.
The Baba Yaga chooses to leap
into it and vanish herself.
Pinocchio, that's your turn.
- Pinocchio's going to pop
up from behind the books.
I don't think I'm going
to use my action this turn
to concentrate on them.
- Cool, so you're just going
to let them do their thing?
- Yes.
- Cool.
- Here's the one in front of Tim.
That's a two.
- Creature doesn't move
or take actions this turn,
stays right where it is.
- One in front of
Scheherazade. That's a six.
- [Brennan] Creature doesn't move
or take actions this turn, absolutely.
- And Flat Willy!
Nine.
- The creature can act and move normally.
Always at your service, sir!
- Willy! Throw me!
- You got it! Straight into the paper!
- No! No, no, no!
- [Murph] This dude's crazy.
- k*ll him!
- Willy's wild. You're
wild for that one, Willy!
No, can Willy throw me to here?
- I will say absolutely.
- Great.
- Bam.
- Tosses me there.
I'm going to look up at my Stepmother.
Hey!
Minerva!
(Brennan squeals monstrously)
- She screams. All of the paper
in the room begins to move.
Deep within the pages, you
hear flittering (cackles)
of Baba Yaga's laughter as you
say her name, and as you do,
charging out of the pages as
you cause this horrendous pain,
Turquina surges back out
of the pages and you see,
lifting in light and
moving through the door
this way towards the Baba Yaga's cottage,
suspended in golden light
is your father Geppetto
that she moves out of the battle.
As you say Minerva,
you have given her disadvantage
on all saving throws and ability checks
from this point forward.
- Ooh!
- Yes, yes, yes!
- Cool.
- Incredible.
Any bonus actions from Pinocchio?
- I think that'll be it for Pinocchio.
- Copy.
- I think I'll just be
dancing around, screaming
this woman's name.
- Dancing?
Mi-ner-va!
- Minerva! Minerva!
I did just see my father.
I'm so glad he's well.
Minerva!
- Oh my god, Turquina, or the
Fairy with Turquoise Hair,
turns to look at you, smiles, and says,
I did always find your
rudeness somewhat charming.
She whips around, takes
21 points of damage
just being in the presence of the hand.
You see that she blasts
three rays into the hand
that are going to deal a
bunch of damage to the hand.
One of them was a nat 20.
- Nice.
- Which means there's a potential
for all of this to go away right now.
- Wow.
- The hand has a plus seven,
so basically the hand,
on a one, two, or three,
the hand is instantly dead.
One, two, or three, hand is gone.
15. Hand is still there.
That is the Fairy with
Turquoise Hair's turn.
She turns around, does the unthinkable
and takes a direct stand
against the Authors
that she has spent who knows how long
trying to appease and keep at bay.
Gerard, that's you.
- Okay.
Since she has disadvantage
on saving throws and ability checks,
could I do an insight check to see,
between Stepmother and the hand,
who's looking more messed up?
- At this point in time, the
hand is looking more messed up.
- Okay.
- All right.
I'll just take some shots
at the Stepmom, I guess.
- Okay.
- Great.
That's a two, so that's my first attack.
That's gone. Get out of here, dice.
Let's do this one. Come on, second attack.
- Ooh!
- That's great.
That's a 27 to hit.
- 27 hits.
Go ahead and roll damage.
- Sweet, okay.
Distracting Strike, so
next person who attacks her
will get advantage.
I'll roll an extra d8.
Let's see what happens.
Nice.
20 damage.
- 20 damage.
You (slurps) your tongue and
just pull a bunch of pages
out of her body, dealing
20 points of damage.
Now the Stepmother and the hand
are looking pretty similar.
- Okay.
- That is going to be Mira.
At the beginning of her turn, falls.
- Oh no!
- Presence near the hand.
- Brutal.
- Goes down.
That is going to go to the
top of the order again.
The Stepmother is going to go.
She is going to take a
claw swipe at Gerard.
That's going to hit.
She deals 48 points of damage to you.
- I'm down.
- [Brennan] She is going to
surge forward to the steps,
but is actually blocked
by Tom Thumb on his cat
side by side with Little Red Riding Hood.
You are effectively
blocking the staircase.
- I also held my action to attack her.
- [Brennan] You can take your
attack action. Go for it.
- Can I attack recklessly?
- Yes, you can.
- 23 to hit.
- 23 to hit. 23 hits.
- Another 23 to hit.
- That hits.
- They both hit, so, that's a 12.
28 damage.
- Oof!
Snarling, you lay into
her as she closes in.
(Brennan snorting aggressively)
She is going to go ahead and
she's going to come at you
with a bite in an attempt to devour you.
She's going to deal first
20 halved to 10 damage
with a claw attack,
and then she is going to deal
12 and 8 is 20, 26,
35 halved to 17 damage.
That is the Stepmother's turn.
Now, the hand of the
Author is going to go.
The hand reaches forward,
grabs the Fairy with Turquoise Hair,
and crushes her as she
disappears into the ink.
- Is that a spell?
- No, it's an attack.
Moves forward here. Pib,
that's going to be your turn.
- Do I have advantage from
this height on the hand?
- [Brennan] Yes, you do.
- Okay, I'm just going to
sneak attack from here.
- Nice.
- Go for it.
- Okay.
- Just crit, man.
- Just going to crit.
I crit.
- Did you?
(Emily laughing)
- You've got to f*cking with me. Okay.
- It's the little cat die
that has a little cat face.
- [Brennan] Go ahead and roll
damage, double up everything.
- Wow.
- [Lou] Double it all up.
- Come on!
- 23 points of damage.
- 23 points of damage. God.
- Wait, I didn't do double d6s.
- [Brennan] You've got to do
double d6s. Double your d6s.
- Double your d6.
- WD-60.
- Yes!
- Nice!
- What did I say it was?
- 23.
- 39 overall.
- 39 all together.
That is a DC 19 constitution save.
12 or higher, it saves fully.
Seven or lower, we'll see what happens.
- We k*ll a god?
- You k*ll a god.
- A man has a heart attack at his MacBook.
- Working in a public cafe.
- George R. R. Martin never finishes-
- Seven or lower.
Seven.
- Yes! Yes!
- [Brennan] Zac, please
describe for me what happens
as you throw a knife at this hand.
- Well, I think Pib's just
trying to figure out what to do
and sees this opportunity and he's like,
I don't like that they think
that they know our stories
better than we know our stories.
And with that in mind,
he just throws the dagger
into the inky darkness of the hand.
- You throw that dagger.
A whirlpool appears where
the dagger goes. (slurping)
The hand just begins
to swirl in on itself,
imploding and collapsing
and becoming raw ink.
Ink splatters truly everywhere around you.
A huge thing appears here.
Some starts oozing up here on the ledge.
Some comes right near the Stepmother.
(Brennan slurping aggressively)
You feel the force
of the teeth that you have been throwing,
and you hear a voice, and Ylfa,
you hear this voice as well go,
that's something we all have in common,
people and stories, comes to an end.
And the hand... (grunts)
Ink splatters everywhere.
You, Tim, up here with the ink,
feel a sudden shift and panic
of these extra-planar beings
that suddenly have a moment of considering
that the world that has
always been a toy to them
has just fought back, and
this malevolent hatred,
this oppressive force of this
vision coming down on you,
rocks backwards in a moment of fear.
- Nice.
- Nice, Pib.
- Bonus action?
- Bonus action help Tim?
- Yeah.
- Hell yeah.
- Bonus action help Tim.
- You got it, Tim!
- At the end of your turn, the Stepmother
is going to burn three
legendary actions at once.
I am going to need wisdom saving throws
from everybody within 60
feet of the Stepmother,
which is going to be everybody.
- Does it include me behind her?
- [Brennan] It does
include you behind her.
- He's down.
- Do I auto-fail?
- You auto-fail, so that's
one death fail automatically.
- [Siobhan] My good die!
- Scheherazade's bardic is a d8 or a d10?
- [Brennan] Scheherazade's is a d8.
Rosamund, what did you get?
- 17.
- 17.
- 13.
- 13, and then Ylfa, what'd you get?
- 11.
- 11, okay.
Everyone's going to take full damage.
Not a single person made the save.
- f*ck.
- That's going to be...
(dice rattling ominously)
Everyone's going to take
10, 18, everyone takes
22 psychic damage.
- [Siobhan] I'm down.
I'm down.
- [Brennan] Okay.
Sleeping Beauty goes down.
Cinderella's still up. Cat is dead.
- My brother!
- How is Tom doing?
- [Brennan] Tom is still up.
- Yes!
- Nice!
- Tom, I have been waiting to fight
alongside someone in battle for so long.
- Let's do it. Buttons up!
- I hold up a little button.
- Hell yeah.
Aesop is going to charge
forward and go, shark! With me!
- What the f*ck?
- One, two, three.
- He burns a legendary.
- Leap over here.
Shark comes to his side,
flops forward to his side.
Mother Goose, that's you.
- Okay, I guess we try this.
- That's round four.
Do you want to call it
here with four chances,
or do you want to try to
hold on another round?
- I mean, she's doing crazy damage.
- I think she's pretty close to down.
- I think we can get one more.
- She burned all of her legendary actions.
- I think I can get one more in.
- [Ally] Okay, okay.
- If she just burned all of her,
and she already took her
turn, I think I can survive.
Me and Tom can at least do a dent.
- Can I move these bookcases
to be a little bit more fortified
and just hunker down with Scheherazade?
- Sure, yeah yeah yeah, absolutely.
- Then I am going to throw
a bardic at Little Red.
- [Brennan] Cool, hell yeah.
You hunker down, throw
a bardic at Little Red.
- Can I reach up and see
if I can touch the ink?
- Yeah.
- And have it feel my presence?
What does it feel like?
- It starts to feel good.
It starts to feel like you could write
your own destiny with this, absolutely.
- Okay, and is my book-
- Your book is open to a blank page.
Scheherazade's is open to a blank page.
Down at the bottom, Aesop,
his scroll is open to a blank-
- If I start writing,
am I starting the thing?
Do I have to wait until-
- You can absolutely start
to write in this moment.
- Okay, cool.
I write, once upon a time,
the sun rose again and a new day started,
and everyone had a pen.
- All of you watch as
exploding from the ink,
quills begin to sh**t
out in all directions.
Yeah, boom!
At the end of your turn,
that's your turn, Mother Goose.
Cinderella is going to
rush up the staircase,
going to take a dash action
to close in with the Stepmother as well.
She looks up and says, I
never really liked you!
The Stepmother looks down and says,
it was my destiny to hurt you.
Cinderella goes, destiny,
free will, I didn't like it.
Puts up her shield, puts up her spear,
and proceeds to go to w*r.
Elody is going to see
that Gerard has fallen,
and she's going to run.
- [Ally] Her bestie!
- [Brennan] Her bestie. Ylfa, that's you.
- Okay, I look at Tom,
I look at Cinderella,
and this is the most excited
I've ever gotten to feel.
I've wanted to fight
alongside people for so long,
and this is so exciting
because I'm going to take,
for the first time, the fighting form,
for the first time, I'm
just going to be myself.
I'm going dire wolf.
- Let's do it, baby.
In this moment, how does
Red feel about herself?
Do you still feel like
Little Red Riding Hood,
or do you feel like the Big Bad Wolf?
- I think I do still feel
a little bit of Little
Red Riding Hood in there.
I'm letting the Wolf take
over, but I also think about
when I was leading my grandma's grandma
to her end,
that I was glad that I had
the humanity to be gentle.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- So I'm thinking kind of like,
if I'm going to occupy this space
and occupy this death space, I do want
a little bit of girlish
kindness in there, too.
- Yeah.
- So I think I do feel both,
but right now instead of straddling them
and it feeling
uncomfortable, it feels good.
- It feels good, amazing.
You leap forward. Go ahead
and make your attacks.
- Okay, and I will get
to do it with advantage
because I'm a dire wolf.
(Emily laughs)
- Good lord.
Real bad stuff, guys.
- Okay.
- [Ally] That hat slipped
down over your eyes for a sec.
- You have more than one attack.
You have more than one attack.
- Yeah, I do. I have extra attacks.
- Come on, come on.
- Okay, going to use the bardic to hit.
Does an 18 hit?
- An 18 does not hit.
You leap at her, snarling
in your dire wolf form,
the Stepmother snarling back
at you, a monstrosity herself.
She gets a paper claw in your mouth
and begins to push you
back down the staircase,
focusing as hard as she
can to get to the ink,
screaming at the
disappearance of the hand.
It looks like the hand
disappearing made her furious.
- Little Red Riding Hood
rethinks everything,
and she thinks, okay,
the little girl is standing in the way.
I just need to be nasty Death.
- [Brennan] Cool, any bonus action?
- My bonus action was Wild Shaping, yeah.
- Gotcha, Scheherazade,
she stays crouched behind the book there.
She's going to just once again
give you the help action.
Tom Thumb is going to take his swings.
- Come on, Tom.
- Come on, Tom Thumb.
- Come on, Tom Thumb.
- He lands two mighty blows
against the Stepmother.
(Brennan shouting angrily)
Stabbing with his pin.
- Yes, Tom!
- Get it, my son!
- [Brennan] I'm going to need
a death save from Rosamund.
- That's a 19.
- That is a success.
Pinocchio, that is your turn.
- Pinocchio's going to drop
the concentration on the animated objects.
- [Brennan] Okay, they
vanish. Flat William is gone.
- I wave at Flat William while he leaves.
- Goodbye. I hope I exist again one day.
- You will!
I'm going to stride up and
stand next to Rosamund's body,
and I'm going to cast
Banishment on the Stepmom.
- Hell yeah.
- She has disadvantage.
- [Brennan] She has
disadvantage. Is it charisma?
- It is charisma.
- DC for you is going to be 16.
She's got to get a 12 or
higher on the lower of these.
Box of Doom.
That is a 12 and an 11.
- Wow!
- [Brennan] She burns her second
legendary resistance. Boom!
That is Pinocchio's turn.
Gerard, death saving throw.
- On a one, I'm dead.
- Come on, Gerard.
- Come on, Gerard.
- I don't want this one, I want
the little (indistinct) one.
- [Siobhan] Come on, Gerard.
- Nine. That's a fail.
- Two fails.
Mira gets her second fail as well.
- Okay.
- My brother prince.
- That's the Stepmother's turn.
I am going to need
a athletics check
from Red.
You need to beat a 25.
- I do not.
- You have bardic.
- I already used it trying to hit her.
- I'll use my last-
- Last Call of Destiny? Okay.
What do you need on the die?
- [Emily] I have a plus six to athletics.
- So you need a 19.
- Jesus.
- 18!
- f*ck.
- Do you have anything?
- Dexterity saving throw.
- I do have advantage.
- [Brennan] Do it with
advantage. It's a DC 15.
- I got a 15.
- Okay, she pushes you, you grab the edge,
and then she's going to hit you
with another claw attack to
attempt to finish the job.
Now, because you're hanging off the edge,
this is going to be it.
This is a final athletics.
There's no dex save for this one, okay?
We're going to make this Box of Doom.
She adds a plus nine to this.
21 is the DC. You can go
ahead, roll Box of Doom.
The DC is set right here.
You need a 15 or higher on one of these.
- Don't do it!
- Oh no.
- [Lou] No, do it.
- 19.
- Yes!
- [Brennan] Hold on.
Here. Hell yeah.
- I am Death!
- Destroyer of worlds.
- Red!
- Now I am Death, destroyer.
- Okay, she is pissed, but
she's going to go ahead.
The last person that hit her was Tom.
- Tom, no!
- She swallows Tom Thumb.
- No!
- [Brennan] Swallows
and devours Tom Thumb.
- No!
- [Brennan] That is her turn.
Pib, that's you.
- Pib looks at Tim and is like
I think I got to go.
- Yeah.
- I think you got it, but
I just can't sit here.
- Yeah, I understand.
- Pib did not move last turn,
so Feline Agility can
move 60 feet towards-
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
5, 10, 15, 20,
25, 30, 35, 40.
- [Zac] Can I make an insight check
on the black goop on the ground?
- Yeah.
- I think Pib's thinking,
if I coat my dagger in
that, is that anything?
- [Brennan] Yeah, yeah yeah yeah.
- Nine.
- Hey, can't hurt.
- I guess it can't.
Pib will dip a dagger in that,
and there are allies within-
- You get sneak attack,
but you're not rolling with advantage.
- Okay.
- [Brennan] You want
to give me the stealth?
- Yeah.
- Let's do it.
- It's up to you.
- No, it's a good idea.
I was going to maybe save
the help action, but-
- Oh, okay.
- I think it's worth it
to maybe get the nat 20.
Nat 20 stealth.
- No way!
- [Brennan] Nat 20
stealth, totally hidden.
Go ahead and give me the
advantaged attack roll.
- Do I add an attack from Elody?
- You can add a d4, that's correct.
- I don't even know if that will hit.
That's a 17.
- 17 does not hit. Dagger flies.
At the end of your turn, I'm going to need
wisdom saving throws from
everybody on the lower level.
- Is that an automatic death fail from me?
- Yes, for Gerard and-
- I'm dead.
- I just crit on my wisdom save.
- [Brennan] Gerard, Mira is also gone,
and then Rosamund, you
take another failure.
- Nat 20. Where was that?
- Do we have a d4 from Elody?
- [Brennan] From Elody? Yes,
on saving throws, you do.
- 21.
- Okay.
The life leaves from
the Frog Prince's eyes,
whose name you cannot even
truly remember in this moment.
Aesop falls.
Shark is dead.
Elody will also take full damage.
People's saves here, Ylfa, nat 20?
- I crit.
- Crit.
- 21.
- 21, okay.
You will all halve this damage.
- I should've just given you a Goodberry.
- You literally couldn't
have even gotten past her.
- 38 psychic damage halved to 19.
- I can't Uncanny Dodge it, right?
- [Brennan] What's the
wording on Uncanny Dodge?
- Attacker.
- No, unfortunately not.
- I go down.
- Brutal.
- I have a Goodberry in my pocket.
- Elody goes down.
- No!
- Pib goes down. Cinderella
is looking hurt hurt.
That's at the end of Pib's turn.
Aesop fails a death saving throw.
Mother Goose, five rounds.
- Okay.
- Stepmother is still far away from you.
Do you want to release the spell now,
or try to hold on for one more round?
- I want to release the spell now.
- I will let you know
that win, lose, or draw,
this will be ending the battle right here.
- Before I do this, is this
going to take my action?
- [Brennan] No, it will
not take your action.
- I think I'll use my action,
my Mage Hand is now 60 feet?
- Okay.
- Can I send it down to Pib
to feed him his Goodberry?
- I think Mage Hand is
simple enough to allow that.
You can take an action
to feed Pib a Goodberry.
Pib will pop back up with one HP.
- I also have a Goodberry.
- Tell me these things!
- Now Pib's right next to me.
- Great.
- Okay, with Pib back up,
now is the time to release the spell.
- DC 40?
- You have the help action.
You have the bardic.
So, you unleash the spell
to rewrite the fate of all stories,
to banish the Gander
from the corruption of his beating wings.
As you release the spell,
here too late to do anything about it-
- Whoa!
- Oh my god!
- Look at his little red bonnet.
- Oh my god.
- [Siobhan] He's scary!
- He's so sick!
- [Brennan] Isn't the Gander sick?
Look at that.
- Wow.
- The Gander appears in this final moment
as you release this spell.
The Gander goes, what are you doing?
That third wish, that Goose is dead!
What are you doing here in this place?
The ink swirls around you.
It goes down to your hand.
Your friends have fought,
destiny has been wielded.
All of these people
have come to this place
to find a new destiny for themselves.
The Stepmother looks up at
the Gander's appearance,
looks at the ink swirling, looks at you
about to release this and goes,
no, no, no!
I was going to destroy them.
I was going to stop them
from ever hurting us again.
- Same, same. They won't
be in charge of us anymore.
- She goes to leap forward, but can't.
The Gander goes to move, but can't.
Scheherazade raises the book.
Your friends are dead and dying.
This is the moment you have chosen.
All of you feel the
corruption rise within you.
Four, four, one,
one, two, five.
17 points of this corruption.
17 instances of the Neverafter
and the corruption of this place,
the malevolence of the Authors,
the hideous shadows of
the Gander and his desire
for all of this to fall
under shadow and ruin,
for your stories to have
pain without lesson,
suffering without growth,
horror without change.
17.
On an 18, 19, or 20,
your spell takes effect,
and you have five chances.
- Oh my god. Okay.
- And you have a bardic,
and you have advantage
on one of the throws.
- Yeah, okay.
- In this instance, I am
going to allow the bardic,
rather than adding to a roll,
to constitute a reroll, okay?
- Okay, cool.
- And you have that help
action, so that will be for one,
so effectively, you have seven rolls.
- And I just do it right here?
- [Murph] I got this. Kidding!
- [Brennan] Yeah, and
actually, if any of you would-
- Yeah.
- This one's been critting for me all day.
- Each of us could roll one, right?
- Does everyone want to roll one?
- I have been rolling
really poorly this season.
I don't think I should.
- I've had some clutch ones.
- Yeah.
- So, let's start.
You have five rounds bought
dearly with blood and ink.
Shall we?
- Let's do it.
- An 18, 19, or 20.
- Come on, right off the bat.
- 17.
- So close.
- Oh my god.
- Roll number one.
- 12.
- Roll number two.
- Come on, Lou. Come on, Lou.
- Come on.
- Don't do it! You take that back!
- You got to throw them away.
- Got any more in there?
- [Brennan] Roll number three.
(Emily laughing)
12.
- [Lou] This is crazy.
- Come on.
- [Ally] Come on, Cat.
- That is an 18!
(players cheering)
That is an 18 on the die.
- [Ally] Wow!
- Okay, the last thing I will say,
ooh baby, how about it?
Every round f*cking counts.
- Wow.
- Is that the most stressful
Box of Doom roll we've ever done?
- I think after three it
felt like, oh, this is-
- Oh yeah. 18, 19, or 20.
- All right, there's a couple more!
- 19!
- I would've got it.
- [Brennan] That's five
for your five rounds.
You also had a bardic. You
also had the help action.
Go ahead and give me the last 2d20
just to see if you hit a nat 20.
- Come on, Murph. Get one in there.
- We got an 18 and a 19.
- Go on, Murph.
- That, no, you've thrown the
orange hat in the Box of Doom
without any permission.
- I just want that video.
I just want that video.
- [Brennan] No, no, no.
- Can I put the hat on and do a roll?
- I'm sorry, can we get Rick
Perry in here real quick?
Rick, can you come in real quick?
- Come on.
- Come in real quick.
- Come on, man.
- I'm so sorry.
- Rick, you want to
come over here with me?
I want you to explain to Rick Perry,
who built this box and who
built this little orange hat,
why this was okay that you did this.
- Rick, these are
beautiful, amazing objects,
and I just thought the visual,
everyone, when you're watching the show,
the Box of Doom, you are glued to the TV,
and instead of a dice, to
watch a little orange hat
bounce around the beautiful Box of Doom.
- Ally's going to do
after school detention
for two weeks after this, and
they're going to enjoy it.
- I will remember this.
- Oh no! Please!
I respect you so highly!
- There's the orange hat.
Please put the orange hat back
on Little Red Riding Hood,
who is wearing it in canon in the story.
- Murph, get one in there.
- Let's get one d20 from you,
and then Murph, you want to roll one?
- Great.
- Yeah, I got one.
- Yeah, either way.
- Here you go.
- [Ally] Wear the hat! Wear the hat!
- [Brennan] Let's get yours
from the bardic first.
Let's see if this is a nat 20. Seven.
All right, Murph,
let's see if we can hit
this nat 20 right here.
- Come on, Murph.
- Come on, Murph!
- This is it.
- You're throwing
the bad luck off of it, that's good.
Six.
- Same sh*t!
It's the same f*cking number
he rolled the other time!
- [Siobhan] Where did the hat go?
- [Lou] It was a five the
other time. Close enough.
- Okay.
- That's actually my die.
- The Gander plummets.
The Stepmother cries out.
You reach up into the ink.
Scheherazade looks to
you, and all of this ink,
summoning pages from all around you,
you see that Pib's knife,
with the true ink on it,
flies through the air, and as it does,
coming up from the pages,
the hand of the Baba Yaga comes up,
and the knife strikes it with true ink.
It is the page that you gifted her,
one page of a blank book, of a true book.
The ink spreads. Scheherazade
gives all of her power to you.
You look down, Pinocchio, Pib, Ylfa.
In this moment, Cinderella,
seeing the Stepmother distracted,
drives her spear into
the Stepmother's heart.
Tim, Mother Goose,
what do we begin to see
as the ink spreads?
- A small piece, almost like communion,
a small piece of the true book
and a small drop of ink
find each person, and they ingest it.
- You're Christ, Tim.
- Just like that.
- As you call for rain,
(thunder booming)
it begins to rain, ink
falling, the books swirling,
the Auroratory mixed with
everything all around you.
As it does so, you feel yourself,
the books start falling,
the ink scattering all
around you, the Gander,
you feel flashing energy, darkness.
There's so much chaos.
Everything falls away.
As it does,
the spell works,
against all odds.
You asked not for power
or an ending or a beginning.
You asked for a chance, and
gave that equally to everybody
that they might write their own story,
for each of you, the dead and the living,
because the truth is that
stories live even as they die.
Stories of those who have died
are retold over and over and over again,
and as we've learned
from the god of death,
the fact that your story ends
doesn't mean it never
happened, and in some ways,
a story always gets to start over.
The things that happened
are in some ways always still happening.
A different world is coming,
but I want each of you,
as the pages swirl and
as they move throughout,
this story, this version
of your story, is ending.
Is there anything here
that you wish to say goodbye to,
anyone here that you wish to speak to
in the chaos and the fluttering
pages as your story ends?
- I think Pib wants to crawl over
to wherever the Baba Yaga is.
- You see the Baba Yaga
swirling in the pages.
She looks and says, little cat.
- My...
My favorite witch.
- In this place of shadows,
do you want some treats, always?
- I think...
I think that would be nice.
I go to try to get picked up.
- She picks you up and snuggles
her face in your tummy.
- Can I make a sleight of hand check?
- [Brennan] Yeah, go for it.
- That's a 15. I don't know
if I would add Elody's-
- Give me Elody's.
- 18.
- [Brennan] You beat a
passive perception of 17.
- I would like to try
to steal back everything she took from us.
- You feel your paw go
into that and pull, like,
names and memories and all these things,
and you see all of those
things are easy to grab,
because they are all
written on the one page
that was given to her by Tim.
- I'll do you the courtesy of telling you
that I took this from you.
- In my stories, I am always stolen from
by something little and clever,
and in your stories,
you are always stealing
from those much more powerful than you.
It's why I like you.
You and me, in our story,
we don't learn anything
and we never change.
- I'm either a trickster
spirit or I'm nothing at all.
- [Brennan] You grab the page and vanish.
- I think I look down from
the tower of books and smile
at the amazing allies that we had,
and all the hard work, and
I crawl over to Scheherazade
and I clasp hands with her and I'm like,
we both know how to write stories,
and I think now the real work starts,
because people don't have a The End
that they know they're going to.
With this much freedom,
it could be really scary.
I think people like us are
going to be really important.
- We just risked it all, everything,
for the freedom to write our own story.
What could be more terrifying than that?
I wouldn't have it any other way.
- I'll see you hopefully down there.
- I'll see you in the stories.
She falls back into the
pages of her own book.
- I don't know that this means anything,
but I think I'll go just
pick up Gerard's body,
because even if he is dead,
then it will be me escorting him.
- Yeah.
- So I think I'll just be like,
I think we have a date,
one way or another.
Throw Gerard over my shoulder,
and I think that I'll just
leave behind the little girl.
She was holding me back.
- [Ally] Oh my god, dire wolf.
- [Brennan] The Big Bad Wolf appears.
- Yeah, I was trying
to hang onto something,
but it was holding me
back, so come on, Gerard.
I position his dead body
on me, and I'm like,
I always wanted you to
take Mounted Combatant
and ride me into battle.
- I think that this is missing something.
- [Lou] Yeah, I won't lie, I
had the exact same thought.
- Yeah.
- Murph, do you agree
that something is missing?
- As my last wish, I would
like for the Big Bad Wolf
to have the little orange hat
that we fought so hard for.
- I f*cking hate to say
that I had the same thought.
- We all thought it.
It was like, this beautiful dire wolf.
- Is that a good placement for you, Emily?
- Yeah. Yeah, it is, actually.
- [Brennan] You grab Gerard.
- I swing by and pick up Elody, too.
- Yes, you and Elody are both there.
Gerard, you gain a sort
of consciousness here,
as the story is ending.
Does anyone else want to say goodbye?
- I would like to reach my
hand out to the little girl.
- I think there is a little girl left.
- Leave her behind?
- I walk away,
and there's a little girl.
- And I say, little girl, are you lost?
- I'm confused, that's for sure.
- Me too, but don't worry.
We'll get you back to your parents, okay?
- Okay, thanks.
What if instead of my parents,
we went back to my grandma?
- I think that's an even better idea.
- [Emily] Yeah. You're very beautiful.
- Thank you. So are you.
- I hope I look like you when I grow up.
- Oh no, but that's not
that important, is it?
You seem very brave.
- I have my moments.
- And I'd like to also
sort of take a moment
to reach out to Cinderella
and say, look, I don't know,
now that we've done this, what
on Earth we're going to do.
But maybe we can help each
other to figure it out.
- I can't believe she was here.
They both end up feeling so hollow, right?
Because either all the bad
things that happened to you
were random, just chaos,
hundreds and millions of
choices of other people
that just have nothing to do
with you and your own story,
or all the bad things that happened to you
were destined to happen.
I don't know which of
those is more horrifying.
- I don't know either, but what we can do
is maybe work so that the bad things
that happen to us happen a little less.
- Yeah, my last plan
was kind of a moonshot.
- Or we could go to the moon.
I mean, that sounds kind of fun.
There's a cow that we met.
- Cinderella walks alongside
Little Red and Sleeping Beauty
as you talk about a cow
that jumped over the moon.
- I think I'll turn to Elody
while we're on the Big Bad Wolf
and I'll say, I know you
were trying to protect me
in that fight, and I want to,
for the next world, whatever happens next,
I would like to give you something
for you to protect yourself with,
because I feel like, I don't
know, I've relied on you
to take care of me and to look out for me.
I...
I would like for you to have a chance
to tell your story this time.
I hand her the Sword of Truth.
- She takes it.
Holds it.
I do love you.
- I love you, too.
- The Sword of Truth glows,
and she rides the Wolf with you
into the shadow.
(Lou laughs)
- So where did my dad go
in a big glowing cage?
- Sort of suspended in strings.
- Yes, a cat's cradle.
- Cat's cradle.
Back to Baba Yaga's hut.
- Well, I'll see him tomorrow.
What's the Stepmother doing right now?
- Weeping, furiously
scrambling up through pages,
trying to get to the Authors
as the Authors retreat,
having been bested by
some force from this world
that they are too malevolent
and shortsighted to understand.
- I think Pinocchio
pops open his chute,
grabs out a piece of bubblegum,
just a sip of whiskey,
I think quietly thanks her
for setting him on this path
that led to all this,
and I think he takes a moment to be alone,
knowing that that'll
never be the case again.
- She looks, this
horrifying, monstrous thing.
She turned herself into this
for a chance to hurt
the people who hurt her.
She looks. Do you still
have that Pinocchio Reserve?
- Of course I do.
- I was real awful to you.
Can I get a hit of that?
- Sure.
- She takes it.
(whiskey sloshing)
(Brennan snarls)
- Hold on.
Chew.
- I don't deserve your kindness,
but I will take your bubblegum.
- Hey, sometimes you need a bad stepmom
to let you know what's right.
- Nobody needs a bad stepmom.
- What're you going to
do with your destiny?
- Something better, but I'll tell you,
it shouldn't have been your responsibility
to make me choose it.
I think I'm made of pages now,
so this gum is all sort
of trapped up in my mouth.
- You've got to get a chute.
- You start folding a
little chute for her.
- Write that into your next story.
- You've got to get a chute!
As we leave this place, you
see the image of the fairies
exiting your book, the Wicked
Fairy and the Fairy Godmother
sort of bashfully flying
out through the pages,
collecting their sisters.
You see the princesses emerging
from the briars and ink.
You even see Snow White weeping
as spectral dwarves comfort her, look up,
and her face winces with pain
that something better was
possible that she had no hope for,
and she almost made it so that
that could not come to pass.
And the final thing you
see, pummeling towards you,
is the Gander, who at
the last moment goes,
you, your son, all of this-
(flesh squelching)
A new feather sticks a quill,
piercing his heart,
and you hear the voice
of a Golden Goose say,
brother,
if you were able to choose
what you wished to be,
what might you choose?
What new story would you
write in your own book?
And for the first time, this
being of elemental corruption
is faced with the possibility
that it doesn't have to be like this.
Once upon a time in the village of Hapley
were there many fairy tales,
and the spell having worked,
the question is,
if you were not fated
by the hand of an Author
nor meant to suffer
the endless nightmare
of the Times of Shadow,
how would you change your own story?
How would it begin?
What would be different?
- Once upon a time, there was a princess
who decided to try speed dating.
(all laughing)
- Rosamund, in the Kingdom of Reverie,
which just so happens to
border the village of Hapley.
The castles within, the tall tower,
can even look down and see
Hapley not too far away.
- What a beautiful place.
- Again, of course, the
nice thing about Hapley
is it doesn't have all the pressure
of being an Ever After of any kind.
It's just Hapley.
I must ask, where does your story change?
You are still born. The fairies come.
Are you still cursed?
- There are maybe versions where I am,
but I decide that instead
of being protected
from the spindle, I'm going to learn
and I'm going to,
instead of the first time
at 16 interacting with a spindle,
touching it and immediately
getting hurt by it,
I'm going to learn how to use
one, so I can use it safely.
It's a safe tool. I can use it safely.
- On your 18th birthday, when
you encounter the old woman
who is the Wicked Fairy in
disguise with the spinning wheel,
what happens there?
- What's that? A 16
gauge, 18 gauge spindle?
- Ooh, you're not unfamiliar
with this? This is not-
- No, it's beautiful, actually.
Really, it's fine work.
- Oh.
- Can I see it?
- Sure. (yelps aggressively)
She leaps at you.
I think you kick the Wicked Fairy's a*s
and grab the spindle out of her hand,
so now you just have this cursed spindle
and are otherwise a quite
accomplished magical princess.
- Fantastic.
- [Brennan] Who else
here in this new version
outside the village of Hapley?
- Mother Goose is at home with Henry.
I think because Mother Goose's whole thing
was I write this stuff down,
and now that's what everybody is doing,
I don't think he has to fill that role.
I think he's kind of the guy in Hapley
who is always sitting
outside in the shade,
and people can come and
sit and ask him questions.
It's hard to write your own story,
and you might come up
against writer's block
or something like that,
and he kind of helps people
talk through what's going on with them
and offers some guidance, has
someone that he goes to also.
I think he's just like a
member of the community
in that way, and his
story, yeah, I think Jack,
instead of being fated
to being the naughty boy-
- I think instead of being
fated to be the naughty boy,
we go to the end of your poem, which is,
Jack rode to his mother,
the news for to tell.
He called him a good boy
and said it was well.
I think one day, Jack comes,
you and Henry have been very,
Jack's doing great, and life
in Hapley is pretty good.
The Lullaby Lands are nice.
Old King Cole is constantly
dancing out in the street,
and Jack in this world, you
know, he's lightning fast
and is able to work as a
messenger and do feats of speed.
But he shows up one day and
says, Dad, okay, listen.
I took some of the magic
that you were talking about.
You know, I was going to take
our milk white cow to market.
But I ended up trading the
cow for something even better.
And you see
a beautiful, enormous Gander,
jet black, with a lovely red bonnet,
and the Gander bashfully looks at you.
I understand, Mother Goose,
that you're a witch and a storyteller?
- Mm-hm.
- If you ever wanted to wander
and just find other stories out there,
I thought for a long time
about what it is I might wish to do.
I think my first wish
is that I would wish to wander with you.
- Cool, yeah, you're welcome here always.
And I think we... Henry
builds an ADU on our property,
and the Gander lives there.
- Incredible.
Freed from its own
destiny, you see the Gander
shakes off the will of its Author
and chooses instead to fly
through the lands of fairy tale
bearing a very wise witch on his back.
- Cool. Two wise witches?
Can Henry come?
- Henry can come, for sure.
- We usually travel together.
It's not like we have to travel together.
It's just like, we want to.
- You travel together.
Jack is excited that one of
his schemes has panned out.
See? Sometimes I got good ideas!
I know what's going on!
- I'm going to level with you.
They're not always good, and I
think having an honest parent
is better than me just
saying they're always good.
So sometimes they're good,
and when they're not,
they're just not, and I love
you both times, and I hug him.
- He gives you a big hug. I
love you both times too, Dad.
Now, there's a guy who has
beans that I've heard about!
- Okay, we're going to go over a budget.
- [Brennan] Amazing.
- I think the story of Pinocchio
is surprisingly similar to his last one,
just I think minus the conditional aspect
and the emphasis and the pressure
of needing to change into a real boy
and the idea that that can only happen
under the pretense of being perfect.
I think he has everything
he's discovered and carved
all the same, makes similar mistakes
to the ones he did before,
but just never with the
punishment or the reprimand
or the taking away that he
experienced in his past life.
He makes mistakes and learns,
just like a real boy would.
And that continues
until his 21st birthday,
when, while with his maternal figure,
the Fairy with Turquoise Hair,
and his ailing father
at that point, Geppetto,
he makes a c*ck from his
youth and time on Toy Island
that involves a bit of whiskey
and a stick of bubblegum,
and is magically turned into a real boy.
- You turn into a real boy.
Of course, a 21 year old real boy.
- A real 21 year old boy.
- Still with a tremendous amount
of magic at your disposal.
You are a young warlock,
possessed of great powers.
Cricket leaps to your side.
Hey, I'll tell you what that
c*ck doesn't have in it.
Water!
- Water. My man.
- You see Geppetto smiles.
He looks at you, the fairy
sort of smiling approvingly.
You know, if I have not said it enough,
curses and magic are strange.
We don't always have control.
Sometimes you are a real
boy, sometimes you are not.
But no matter what you are
made of, you are always my son.
- You're always my father.
- Wow, deep.
- Much deeper.
Honestly this is, wow,
I could've sounded like
this the whole time.
But yes, dad.
- Geppetto smiles, and you and Cricket
go on as many adventures
together as you want,
Cricket being way less of a tight-a*s.
- I do think one of
Pinocchio's first adventures
is to go to Toy Island and
to shut that sh*t down.
At least the donkey part.
- There's a bunch of criminals being like,
let us turn boys into donkeys!
- No, come on!
- Come on!
- No!
- You're being so unreasonable!
- You can still make money off
of boys coming to Toy Island.
Let's just cut out the donkey part.
- [Brennan] Pib.
- I think Pib's story,
if he could change it,
would start off with, once upon a time,
there was a cat who already
finished his journey.
It's almost like a sequel.
He's starting at the point of already
having eaten the ogre,
put the miller's son to the
status of Prince of Marienne,
and lives a life
where he doesn't have to think
so hard to get what he wants
and just sits there and fills his belly.
But I don't know, every few weeks,
he gets the Prince of Marienne
to throw a big feast where they hear
requests from the people of the city
to see who has any need
for anything from the Trickster Prince.
- You smile, being able to
choose your own adventures,
not feeling so desperate to have to regain
something you had lost, and
at one of these banquets
where people are allowed to come
and ask for something from the Trickster,
a beautiful woman approaches,
somewhat older in years.
She looks at Tomas, who's
happy on the throne,
if a little bit bewildered,
looks over at you.
Tomas is talking with
one of his best friends,
the Prince Alphonse, who gives a thumbs up
with a thumb that looks
a little bit like a hoof,
and he quickly hides it and looks around.
The woman speaks and says, prince or no,
I believe I now speak to a true Trickster.
- Puss in Boots has taken off his boots.
He's now wearing sandals.
He perks up and is like... (meows)
- I'm trying something different,
and I'm trying to be different,
and I know that often,
you have helped those
that were completely
bewildered and befuddled.
Would you consider helping someone
who knew exactly what they wanted?
- Sure.
- My name is Minerva,
and I can't get my daughters married
for the f*cking life of me.
- Let's go to work.
Kicks the sandals off and runs.
- Minerva walks out with her two daughters
to try to get them married.
She walks off with you at this ball
in the Kingdom of Marienne and she says,
now, my stepdaughter's great.
She got married all on
her own. She's incredible.
- Amazing.
- You look over.
She introduces you to
the Princess Cinderella,
who turns to look at
you and says, oh, yes.
My wonderful stepsisters, yeah, they're...
You turn to see two stepsisters
who appear to just be in a
knock down, drag out brawl
with each other, just
being like, get off of me!
- Okay, this one's a little
tougher than I thought.
- [Brennan] They really do mean well.
You go off on another adventure. Gerard?
- I think Gerard's also going to do
a little bit of a sequel.
I think once upon a time,
all of the Frog Prince stuff happened,
then some other absolutely
crazy sh*t happened,
and then on the way out of divorce court
with his great friend/ex-wife Elody,
Gerard suddenly transforms
into a handsome prince
with all the powers of a frog, of course.
He can still jump,
can still eat stuff if he needs to, ever,
because he does plan on
continuing to adventure,
and living the single life, of course,
he needs to wake up at a
reasonable hour and work out
with his good friend, who
wakes up at 8 AM in this world.
(all laughing)
- [Ally] Much more doable.
- We work out at 9 and
then we start work at 10.
- Just a divorced man getting ripped.
- I'm a divorced man getting ripped.
- [Lou] He can still eat
stuff when he needs to.
- I think I take-
- Tom Thumb has two
little thimbles on the end
of a sewing needle, and
that's his little barbell.
- I do the same amount of weight.
God, Tom, I don't know how
you just rep these out.
This is my one rep max.
Then I think I kind of take,
Rapunzel, though cruel, was kind of right.
Gerard never really had any friends.
So I think he'd like to keep
in contact with everyone.
I think he gossips about
being single with Rosamund.
- We are constantly sending letters
about our terrible dates.
- We talk so much sh*t.
Visiting Timothy and Jack
and trying to low-key see
if you're down to talk sh*t about Jack.
Weird ideas, see if you're
willing to go there,
and if you're not, then
I'm just cool to hang out.
Pinocchio, I'm always going to get
some bubblegum and whiskey.
- Weekends at Toy Island!
- Weekends at Toy Island.
I make a big deal. I'm like,
a prince in a place like this?
- Hey man, you got to stop.
- Then I think with Pib,
I ask Pib to help me
try to get my kingdom back from my parents
who were just kind of
cool with me being a frog
for so long, that seems f*cked up.
- That's doable. I have somebody
you should meet, though.
- Interesting!
Then I think also I play gin rummy
and curse a lot with Ylfa.
- You actually don't
know what my story is.
- Ooh!
But I think in one of
your adventures, you do,
in the Kingdom of Tapestry,
come across a princess
asleep in a glass coffin,
and you do see Snow White
there in that glass coffin.
- I give her CPR to get the
apple out of her throat.
She doesn't need to kiss anybody
while she's asleep to wake up, right?
- You smash the glass coffin.
- Give her very professional CPR.
- Professional. I have one of those-
- Those tubes?
- Tubes.
- Pib comes up and pulls
it out of a little-
- Oh, I could help.
- No, no no no, it's fine.
- You realize it's not
even a poison apple.
She just literally has a chunk of apple
lodged in her throat.
- It was poison!
You are really, oh, she did it to you.
- She comes to and goes...
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Are you okay?
- I think so.
- Great.
Do you-
- It's us.
- I'm Rosamund.
- Hi, I'm Snow White.
I was told that I would only be awoken
by true love's first kiss,
but it feels like I have a lot of mucus
on the edge of my mouth,
like I just barfed up-
- We need to sit down and have a talk.
True love doesn't exist, and that's good.
That's a good thing.
- Okay. Okay.
- Because now, you can
just, you're free to choose.
- I live in a house with seven dwarves.
- Great, do you like any of them?
- One of them...
I like all of them, yeah. I like them all.
- Great, that's great. Good for you.
- Really had to be diplomatic there.
- You take Snow White to the side. Ylfa?
- I think that Ylfa,
the moral of her story was
to obey authority figures,
and I think with her freedom,
in classic teen fashion,
she's going to whiplash
in the other direction
entirely, and I think
that when she redoes her story,
she is a total little rebel.
I think she's straying all the time.
I think that she strays
so deep into the woods
that she meets the Baba Yaga,
and they get into sh*t together.
- [Brennan] The first time,
you stray so far into the woods
that you enter another kingdom
and meet the Baba Yaga?
- I think it would be fun
if Tim also had a little bit of contact.
You were saying you would
play card games or something,
and we show up, and it's like Tim comes in
and is like, oh, it's so great to see you,
and says hi to you and Baba Yaga,
and then also you guys
seem to have someone
that you're playing
cards with, this fairy?
Is this kind of your crew?
- That's actually just
a mannequin, that's my hat.
- I love it.
- But I think I do still stay true
to all the things I love
about grandma culture,
so I still love gin rummy
and I still love cursing,
but now I don't listen to authority at all
and I realize how much it was
kind of standing in my way
of making other friends that I
would always be kind of like,
well, we should ask the authority
figures what they think!
So I think I'm able to
meet some more friends,
and I think I also just have, like,
if you were to look inside my journal,
you would see in hearts a lot,
just the world Nocchi.
- Nocchi?
- Nocchi.
- Like the food?
- Just a little...
Yeah, like the food.
- Is it an acronym?
- G-N-O-C-C-I?
- [Murph] Is that a
nickname for Pinocchio?
- It's my dream of a pet name I'd have
for my dream boyfriend.
- Your dream...
Nocchi? Like Pinocchio?
- I think Pinocchio definitely comes over
to play gin rummy a lot.
(all cackling)
- To be clear, this is years
later when you're both 21.
- Sitting there being like...
How's...
How's your grandma?
- She's been dead for a while.
- You told me that, yeah.
- Yeah, how's...
How's Toy Island?
- It's good. They don't turn
the kids into donkeys anymore.
- Seems like a good change.
- Yeah.
- I lean in for a kiss.
(all laughing hysterically)
- You lean in for a kiss, and
you look through the window,
and you see the Big Bad
Wolf gives a big thumbs up,
puts an orange hat on the head-
- Oh my lord.
- Sack over the shoulder,
and walks off into the sunset.
- Oh my god.
- And they all lived happily.
And that's the end of our story.
(mysterious music)
(mysterious music continues)
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16x20 - The Ending of All Things (Part 2)
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.