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- Hello, and welcome to episode
five of "The Ravening w*r"
here on Dimension 20.
I'm your humble Dungeon Master
for this game, Matthew Mercer.
Let's go ahead and say hello
to our scrumptious scoundrels.
Hello, scrumptious scoundrels.
- [Cast] Hello, scrumptious scoundrels!
- That's the energy we're bringing.
- [Anjali] We're bringing.
- Good. You're gonna need it.
- Yes.
- Oh no.
- Oh no.
- Sometimes, you do something,
and then you something
even more fun happening, and
then you abandon the thing
you were doing.
- Yes, that's exactly-
- I was just kinda doing this
and saw y'all shaking, so.
(all laughing)
- It was fun to watch that,
'cause you were in a very brief
"Annihilation" moment.
- Yeah.
- Huge group game energy.
- Yes, exactly.
- Exactly, yeah.
- Well, last that we had left off,
this troupe of unlikely
allies through the length
of many years came through the majority
of the Ravening w*r
ravaged in their own right.
All eventually gathered here
for the final push of combat
into the central Ceresian
city of Pangranos.
There, as you gathered
outside of the w*r tents,
with the respective leaders,
the generals that have begun
to spearhead this final as*ault,
it was spotted, another
one of these strange,
wiry, fungal creatures in the outskirts,
a tunnel they had freshly
dug to the surface here
of the Ceresian fields, following it down
within the subterranean lair,
you saw the glowing filaments
of the mycelium that connects somewhere
to the heart of these people.
You breathed in the spores
of one of these creatures,
Raphaniel, and in doing
so, opened up a connection
towards its mind where
you could communicate.
And in this moment, as the
rest of you rallied behind
your, thankfully no longer
nude, dying radish friend,
a cloaked member of the
FDA, the Sanctus Putris,
followed up from deeper in the tunnel,
inquiring about the work that
these creatures were doing,
saw you and began to run.
So, as we sit around here, let's go ahead
and get your new, updated
minis situated here.
- [Anjali] Oh yay.
- Oh, baby. Right here.
- [Aabria] You look so big.
- [Brennan] Look at that.
- [Anjali] Giant toothpick!
- [Brennan] w*r-torn.
- [Lou] Also, the name
of my spear is Detriter.
- Oh.
- [Matt] I dig it.
- Yes!
- [Aabria] Oh, you look so good.
- [Anjali] Let's go.
- Oh, my head got bigger as I got older.
- [Lou] Wow.
- [Matt] And wrinkles.
- [Lou] Weird.
- [Brennan] I am not doing great.
- [Aabria] Let me see.
- [Brennan] I've got a skull on my belt.
Rick Perry, oh, shout out to
Shane and Raven and Katie,
and all of the art team.
That's so f*cking sick.
- [Lou] Oh, look at you.
Look at your new armor.
Oh, look at that.
- I'm hot.
- [Matt] Yea, you are.
- My skull is sloughing
over the book I have tied
to my back, and I've got a skull,
I guess one of the ones I
talked to in the crypts.
- Wow.
- I also appreciate
the attention to detail
that I have high heel boots,
because it's much more accurate
to my life.
- That's very fun.
- [Matt] It's important.
- Oh my god, Karna.
- [Aabria] Yeah.
- So sick.
- [Lou] Look at us.
- [Aabria] I'm red now.
- Carolina Reaper. Look at that.
- So, this being the order
that you had all more or less
trudged into the tunnel
with the small meeting
of this sweet Saprophian there.
- [Lou] Nasty.
- [Matt] With Raphaniel up front.
- Look at him.
- Do I like him?
- And the two other workers
that had kind of gathered
with their odd bits of rotting.
- [Aabria] Oh, he's fuzzy.
- [Matt] Saprophian armor.
- I love them.
- As this figure-
- [Anjali] This m*therf*cker.
- Had approached and noticed.
And as they turn to run, I need
you all to roll initiative.
- Yeah!
- Oh snap.
- My Rogue subclass
lets me add my Charisma
to my initiative, which is negative two.
(Brennan laughing)
- [Anjali] Excellent.
- But I don't have to, I guess.
- You don't have to. You don't have to.
- Which is good, 'cause I rolled a two.
(Matt laughing)
- [Anjali] As did I.
- I also rolled a two.
- [Matt] Yay.
- This side of the table,
you guys, we are united.
- Team Bottom Barrel.
Hell yeah.
- [Lou] Team Bottom Barrel.
- For a total of seven.
- A total of seven. Okay.
So coming around here, we have 25 to 20.
- Oh no.
- 25 to 20, huh?
(Matt laughing)
- 20 to 15.
Okay.
- We all gonna die.
- 15 to 10.
- Now, come on g*ng.
Okay.
- [Lou] Okay.
- ♪ We are going to die! ♪
- It's over and-
- What's your real initiative?
- What's your real initiative?
- [Anjali] Yeah, exactly.
- 10 to five.
- Oh, yeah.
(all laughing)
- All right. All right.
So we have seven is the
highest of the troupe?
- Nine.
- Is that true?
- Nine as well.
- Okay, great.
So, we have (laughing).
- Somebody had to.
Somebody had to pick us up.
- Everyone, keep up.
(all laughing)
- I guess, maybe,
Raphaniel isn't dressed yet
if you have the highest initiative.
- I cast Shatter at the
end of the last episode,
and as I'm about to go,
I go, oh, my clothing.
(all laughing)
- So you had seven?
- Yeah.
- Also had seven.
- [Matt] All right.
- What's your Dex?
- Five.
- Your Dex is higher
than mine, so you'll go-
- I defer to the gentle cheese man.
- [Anjali] The gentle cheese man.
- [Matt] And what did you have, Amangeaux?
- Six.
- Okay.
So, because you had
instinctually cast Shatter
in reaction to this appearance,
I'm giving you the option
to continue with the spell.
This is the target. It's a 20-foot radius.
And this is the interior
of the tunnel system.
There is a possibility
of collateral damage.
What would you like to do, Raphaniel?
- Raphaniel, if you k*ll us,
I swear to God, I will haunt you.
- Just crush us in here with the f*cking-
- I'm gonna go from a Carolina
Reaper to a ghost pepper
and haunt your a*s.
- It is a very tight tunnel.
- It's a very tight tunnel,
but I also am losing it.
(all laughing)
And it'd be kinda hilarious.
I know, every gremlin instinct
in me is like, crush us all.
- I mean.
Now with the full context
of what the scene is,
the choice is yours
before initiative kicks in
to complete, if you choose,
the maneuver we finished
the last episode with.
- I am not gonna cast Shatter,
not 'cause I'm worried about cave-ins,
but I think because he's within five feet
of one of the fungus people
that I don't want to harm.
- Got it.
- So, him, treating him like servants,
has not punctured my,
probably wrong, assumption
that these fungus people
are angels of a mushroom god
that can save me from perdition.
So that's the track I'm on,
and I'm going to bonus action
give a Bardic Inspiration
to Deli and-
- Hold that for your turn,
because that was a surprise round.
- Oh, this is the surprise. Gotcha.
- You do not have the highest initiative
in this initiative order.
- Nine doesn't do it?
- [Matt] Weirdly, no.
- It almost is.
- So, you withdraw the spell as you begin
to let the incantation leave
your lips, and at that moment,
the figure goes to turn and run,
and then we're gonna start
the initiative order properly
in this battle.
- Yeah.
- Great.
- Oh man.
- With that, the cloaked FDA figure,
after saying sh*t, runs
and goes, I need help.
Top-siders inside.
You, come help, and he goes ahead
and he starts running back this way.
As it does, it's gonna go
ahead and grab a shortbow
that it had kind of
slung over one shoulder,
pull back and (imitates arrow whooshing)
and fire one shot at the
one it can see plainly,
which is you, Raphaniel.
As it is firing as it's moving back,
you do get a little bit of
half-cover from the side
of the wall there.
- Sure.
- So plus two to your AC there.
That'll be, oh, it was
almost a natural 20,
and it rolled off.
That will be a dirty 20.
- Shield.
I hold the crozier up and my AC is 22.
(Matt imitates spell whirring)
- The arrow goes fleeing free.
He goes, sh*t, and keeps
running around this bend
to about there, and that's
as far as it can go,
as it keeps shouting
kind of down the hallway
just like, anyone, someone,
come here and help.
That's gonna finish its go.
You begin to hear other
footsteps from nearby tunnels.
- Oh.
Oh.
(Matt imitates footsteps thudding)
- No.
- Oh no.
- Oh no.
- Other Saprophians
begin to come around the way,
but these are more heavily armored.
These carry actual weapons.
They look similar in build
if a little bit larger
than the ones that you saw kind of digging
through the tunnel.
And as they emerge, they
kind of glance back.
Various bits of bone
and skulls and remnants
of other Calorum citizens
long-dead and long-rotted
used to obscure their face as
they kind of turn the corner,
weapon in hand, and look
over in your direction.
This one here kind of
pushes past this fellow here
and kind of blocks the
way, both standing there,
weapons at the ready, kind
of looking to each other
and looking towards you,
and they're just gonna hold their action.
With that, the rest of these here
that see this action happening,
this kind of moderately
unarmed figure just goes
and charges down the hall here
and kind of flees from the scuffle.
This one goes ahead and pushes past
and attempts to go this
way just to get out
of the middle of the fray.
And this one that's looking at you,
Raphaniel, as the shield this arcane blast
deflects this arrow, and in
the middle of this chaos,
the shouting that begins
coming down the hallway,
you see it kind of look
scared and panicked.
A small, Saprophian, fungus creature,
as it looks towards you,
shaking as it kind of
is having a hard time
dealing with the chaos
and the sound around it, we
come to your turn, Raphaniel,
here, in the darkened subterranean cavern,
with a gentle light-
- Ooh.
- Surrounding you.
- It's cool.
- Look at it.
- What would you like to do?
- [Brennan] Is the Saprophian in front
of me blocking my movement?
- Not blocking it.
Just getting past him will
take 10 feet of movement
just to kinda push and
kind of get it aside.
- I still have detect thoughts active.
And any creature I can
see within 30 feet of me.
So I wanna get within
30 feet of the fleeing-
- There you go.
- Sanctus Putris.
I'm gonna rush up.
I will also throw back that
Bardic Inspiration on my turn
as a bonus action.
That's a d8.
- Great. Thank you.
- I am going to move up.
I'm gonna call out to the
fleeing Architect and say, hold.
We have found you here.
We have done all you asked.
You owe us, at least, an explanation.
Stay and parlay with us.
And that will be a Suggestion spell.
- Oh.
- [Aabria] Woo.
- All right. Is that a Wisdom save?
- That is a Wisdom save.
- Wisdom save.
The FDA agent kind of robed,
shortbow still at the side,
and kind of rushing past
this outcropping of some
long-petrified croissant that's blockading
part of the back side of the
tunnel, stops and turns around.
It looks at you and goes.
I guess we should talk.
And kind of stands there for a minute,
kind of staring at the ground
oddly, kind of confused
and wrestling with his own instincts
versus the message that has
ingrained itself in his mind.
That's your action, your
movement, and your bonus.
Do you wanna move any closer or stay put?
- I'm gonna stay put,
'cause if sh*t goes screwy,
I like having spaces in front of me
so that melee people can move past me
and engage with the warriors, if needed.
But I'll follow up and just say,
tell your guards to stand down.
- I will say make a
persuasion check for me.
- Cool.
- Ooh.
- 26.
- Okay. Good.
You say that phrase. That ends your turn.
Now, it comes to Deli, Delissandro.
- I think I hear the sound of
the crossbow bolt being fired
and being in combat so
regularly, so frequently,
Deli is going to start
crawling over Lady Amangeaux.
- [Anjali] Easy, easy, easy.
- Then onto Colin and.
- [Zac] (quietly) Hello.
- Colin.
(all laughing)
- Deli.
- You're, um-
- You can keep going.
- Yeah, I, uh.
I should.
I'm gonna keep, I'm gonna-
(Aabria laughing)
And come to stand beside Raphaniel.
- [Matt] Okay.
- Or, excuse me, actually
one in front of Raphaniel.
- [Matt] Yeah, you can move
through to about there.
- Great.
Can I make an insight check on the two,
what's the word you keep using?
- Saprophian.
- Can I make an insight check
on the Saprophians in front of us?
They don't seem to be
aggressing us, right?
They're just standing?
- Go ahead and make an
insight check for me.
- That's a seven.
- So, as you stand there,
spear in both hands,
kind of protecting your
withered turnip companion,
radish, technically, from ages long back,
only just recently reunited,
glancing at these entities.
You see them, their chunks of armor,
bits of gray and black mold
fuzz poking from within.
The skulls themselves
shaped in an aggressive way.
The amber eyes peeking through.
They hold their weapons in front,
and you can see they're
kind of on the back foot,
at the ready should something come within.
I'll say you don't see any
major sign of aggression,
but that's as much as you can make out.
- Then I will also ready
an action, that if,
I have 10-foot reach now.
If they move any closer to
us, I will swing on them.
- You got it. Okay.
Finishing Deli's turn,
that brings us to Karna.
- Oh gosh.
- With Colin on deck.
- [Aabria] Yeah.
Karna's just gonna follow in
and get eyes on everything
that's happening.
- At this point, Colin
has kinda smushed himself
to the side like, I guess
everyone's going by me.
- You're just like
(imitates air whooshing).
- Why aren't you going forward?
- I'm thinking about it.
(Matt laughing)
- So it's about 25 feet to
get you there at the cusp
of that entryway next
to the small Saprophian
that's still kind of like.
(short breaths)
- Ooh. Then I'm gonna turn to this one.
How do you insight check a
thing with not a normal face?
- A very high roll.
- Yeah, okay.
Well, I'm gonna try it,
'cause why not today?
- [Matt] What are you looking for?
- I just wanna see what they're-
Oh, finally a good roll,
'cause it's not on Raphaniel.
I just wanna know where they stand.
They were trying to have a
social interaction with us,
and now a fight's breaking out.
Where is their loyalty?
Is it self-preservation?
Is it listening to the orders
of the dude that's running away?
- With a high enough insight roll.
What's the total on that one?
- A 27.
- 27's pretty f*cking high.
- [Aabria] Yeah.
- The way you see its eyes darting around,
and its arm reaching out
and kind of touching the
mycelium network on the wall,
you get the sense that
it's reacting to the orders
and the intimidating
presence of the Architects,
and its preservational instincts
are less individualized
and more towards where
this mycelium leads.
- Okay.
Then, I guess, all I really
wanna do with my action
in this moment is to
use my Telepathy to send
a bunch of energy that's also
confusion but no aggression.
a bunch of energy that's also
confusion but no aggression.
All of this is in defense.
- Mm-hmm.
- Just to try to send some signals
that we're not the enemy here.
- You got it. You got it.
To the aggressor that's
across the way there or the-
- No, to the little guy by me.
- [Matt] The little guy by you?
Okay.
- Yeah.
- [Matt] All right.
- That's the little guy we talked to.
- [Matt] Correct.
That's the one that
engaged with Raphaniel.
- Little spore boy.
- Okay.
Would you like to make a persuasion check
to just go ahead-
- Yes, please.
- [Matt] And convey this to
the small, frightened creature?
- Please.
There we go.
26.
- 26.
As you kind of look towards
it, your extremely honed,
intense persona cuts
right to its attention,
and it kind of like
its amber eyes go wide.
How do you convey this
sense of calm to it?
- I'm going to send mental images
of her cutting her own rot away
that's like we are the same.
And just a soft...
Sending the energy of
backing away from someone
without actually losing
space between them.
- As you flash these
images and these emotions
into its mind, you see its
shaking tension begins to fade,
and I'll say as the latter
half of this maneuver,
just steps five feet back
kind of offering more space
to this region, and kind of gets
out of the way of what you're doing.
- Cool.
- All right.
That finishes your go, Karna?
- That's it.
- [Matt] Colin, you're up
with Amangeaux on deck.
- Colin looks at everyone
getting in front of him like,
okay, I should probably do something.
(all laughing)
And am I able to get by people
if I were to try to squeeze by them?
- [Matt] Yeah. If they're allies, yes.
- Okay.
I'm curious to see, if I
have 80 feet of movement
with a bonus action-
- Oh my god.
- Move.
- [Matt] My goodness.
- And I have, you know, Mobile,
I'm gonna try to use Evasive Footwork,
the Battle Master thing that lets me add
a superiority die to my
AC until I stop moving.
- Okay. Yeah.
- And let's see what I get on that.
So I add five.
So my AC is now 24.
- Let's go.
- And I wanna try to, if I could,
make some kind of check
to get through these guys
and take attacks.
- Make an attempt to tumble through.
So go ahead, as you dart down this tunnel
(imitates footsteps echoing)
rushing through your friends.
- Ow. Ow.
Is this what it was like?
- All right. Sorry.
- [Zac] Excuse me. Sorry.
- Make an acrobatics
check as a tumble attempt
to push through the two guardians.
- Acrobatics?
- [Matt] Yes.
- That's a 15.
Or a 13.
- 13's pretty decent.
I will say you move through them,
but as you attempt to scoot through,
they both do take attacks
of opportunity on you
as you try and move to the space behind,
they both just immediately been waiting
for some sort of maneuver
to try and push towards
or past them, and they both immediately
kind of look at each other
(imitates weapons whooshing)
and swing down towards you.
You have your AC bonus,
and I will say the roll
just barely squeaks by.
They're not very strong creature,
or quick creatures, I would say.
So you squeak by as the weapons
(imitates weapons whooshing)
wind in towards you.
For that, they're gonna have a-
- We don't have a problem with you.
(Matt chuckles)
- 18 to hit, which completely misses.
Just (imitates weapon whooshing)
hits the ground behind you.
And that is gonna be 23 to hit.
- 24.
(Matt laughing)
- Amazing.
- That's our boy.
Come on, Provolone.
- You can scoot
right up here to where this
cloak-wearing figure is.
And you kind of glance forward,
and you can see this
face that is this kind of
twisted, withered leek of a face
with this kind of square
jaw that's currently
kind of staring forward past
where you kind of scoot in.
You stand up, and it focuses
its attention on you.
What the hell?
- Hey.
I don't think we've met,
but, Raphaniel, you can still
talk to dead people, right?
(Aabria laughing)
- [Aabria] That was dope.
- Sir Provolone, may the Bulb
shine on what you must now do.
- Okay.
- Damn.
- Whatever you say.
(all laughing)
I'm just gonna attack him.
- Go for it.
- Yeah.
And, I can now Sneak Attack
even if I don't have advantage
with the Rogue archetype.
- [Matt] That's true.
- Damn, bruh.
That is a 14.
- 14, unfortunately, misses.
Focused on Raphaniel and turning to you,
as you pull your blades out, immediately,
he ducks to the side
as your blade goes wide
and (imitates blade clanging) cracks
into the side of the massive croissant
that's pushing out of the wall.
You can make your other
attacks, if you'd like.
- Cool.
I'll take a second attack.
That's better. That's a 22.
- [Matt] That will hit.
- And if I missed with Sneak Attack,
can I Sneak Attack on the second one?
- Yeah.
Sneak Attack is once per turn,
and it's when you finally hit.
- Okay.
That's 18 damage, and it
has to make a DC 15 Con save
That's 18 damage, and it
has to make a DC 15 Con save
on his turn.
- On his turn. Good.
- Yes.
- We'll keep that in mind, then.
Okay, as you rush through
(imitates blade whooshing)
one blade strike does not quite hit,
the other (imitates
blade crunching) gets him
right across the chest.
Gah, kind of puts his arm
against the side of the wall.
Immediately, you see a
little bit of crimson
kind of peeking through
the inside of the cloak.
Well, leek's bleed red. Interesting.
- Huh.
- You're leek-ing.
- No.
(all laughing)
- You were holding an action
until an aggressive maneuver happened.
Do you wanna follow up on that?
- I will follow up on that.
- [Matt] Okay. Which one?
- Pumpkin head.
- You go for it.
- That's gonna be a dirty 20.
- Dirty 20 hits.
- Great.
For 17 points of damage.
- After Colin tumbles through the legs,
you take your spear and (grunting) jam it
right into the center of
the Saprophian's chest.
You see it's like hitting a large,
thick collection of brown paper bags.
And then, you hit metal and leather
from the opposite side
of the rest of its armor
that it's kind of
wearing around its torso.
As you push through, it kind of
gives this weird (gasping) sucking sound.
And as it looks up towards you,
it pulls off of the spear
and gets its weapon ready
to retort on its next turn.
- Mm.
- [Aabria] Oh wow.
- All right.
That brings us to the end
of, I believe, Colin's turn.
Amangeaux, what do you wanna do?
- I will catch up.
So I'm gonna get up to Karna.
- [Matt] Mm-hmm.
- And can I see everything
that's happening from there?
- From this vantage point? Yes.
You can definitely see the thin,
clustered kind of compressed tunnel space
that is now filled with
all sounds of grunting,
weapons hitting weapons and
footfalls of individuals
trying to flee or approach.
- Can I run an insight check to see
if these guys are only-
Do they seem aggressive,
or are they only attacking
because duder rolled through?
- You're pretty far away,
and it's kind of low light in here.
- Okay.
- You can go ahead
and make an insight check, if you'd like.
It's at a high DC.
- You got this.
- 16.
- 16?
Hard to tell at this
distance, unfortunately.
You gotta get a little bit closer.
- But I do see Colin
actively attacking duder
past them, right?
- Kind of.
You see action happening that
way and you hear a (grunting),
a shout of pain from across the way.
- Can I fire a ranged weapon that far?
Through people and things?
- Yeah.
I mean, it'll probably be harder to aim
just because there's a
lot of things in the way.
So they might get a bonus to
their AC, but it's doable.
- Let's do it.
- Okay.
- Why not?
- [Matt] What are you firing?
- I am firing my hand crossbow.
- All right.
You pull it out forth.
You're trying to aim from
the middle of the chaos
above the shoulders and
the heads of your allies.
Go ahead and roll for an attack.
(Anjali scoffing)
- [Anjali] 13.
- 13, unfortunately, does not hit.
It gets stuck in the wall nearby.
In trying to be careful of your friends,
you're just-
- Yeesh.
- [Matt] Unable to quite
make a visual bead on it.
- There's enemies behind us.
(Matt laughing)
- You still have feet of movement,
by the way, about 10
feet, if you wanna move.
- I do, and can I use my
Telepathy at this moment
to continue to calm our mushroom friends?
- I'd say you can communicate
a brief phrase to one of them,
if you'd like to-
- It's not a phrase.
It's a feeling.
- If you'd like to.
- I wanna try
the swaddling feeling again of comfort
and holding a baby and it being okay.
- Okay.
- Even though we're
in the middle of this crazy-
- To which one? This one?
- [Anjali] Okay. Yes.
- You're reaching out to it.
So you've attacked, and now
you're engaging with this one.
That finish Amangeaux's turn.
We're back at the top of the round.
Now, the cloak-wearing FDA agent
that just currently got stabbed by you,
its attention it had focused at the moment
onto you, Raphaniel, gets
broken and distracted
as it looks back.
(Matt growling)
And pulls this nasty-looking
hooked shortsword out,
and it's gonna go ahead
and try and jam it into your abdomen.
- My AC's back down to 19 now.
- Gotcha. Okay.
That is going to be a 16 to hit.
- Oh.
(Zac imitates metal ringing)
- It kind of hits the
green and white armor
that you have been bestowed
by the great Bulbian Church
that has, you know, aided you so far,
and you have an additional
scrape across the midsection
you'll have to polish out later,
but it does, indeed, miss
anything on your actual person.
Angrily, it's gonna go ahead
and tell the Saprophians
behind it using Directum
of the Elder, come on.
Help me out.
And this one here is
going to immediately turn
and attack you from this side.
- Ah sh**t.
- [Matt] Which it has advantage,
because it's pincered between.
- Uh-oh.
- Which that will have
a 25 to hit.
- How do we feel about a
Silvery Barb situation?
- Silvery Barb situation?
We'll go ahead and roll
your roll that one, then.
- Yeah.
- I feel good about it.
- [Matt] That's gonna bring it to a 15.
- [Cast] Yay!
- I feel great about it.
- Okay.
And I'm gonna give Deli the advantage.
- Wow.
- You hear the shifting of it behind you,
and just in time, you kind
of roll your shoulder down,
and this spear that it's holding
that has this mold on the side of it
just streaks past your pauldron
and almost hits the gentleman
in the cloak who's like,
sh*t, watch it.
- Kinda tight in these-
(Matt laughing)
- At this point, another member in a cloak
comes rushing down the space.
I'm sorry. Is there a issue going on?
Oh.
sh*t indeed.
(all laughing)
As this corn face is poking through,
this kind of large, wide, surprised eyes,
and this gentle little puff of a beard
at the end of where
its corn chin would be.
- Oh.
- Well, this is problematic.
It's gonna go ahead and rush
forward into combat with you.
- As it enters my range, can
I use my Polearm Master feat
to take an attack of opportunity on it?
- Usually, it's a reaction
to hold your action,
to attack something later on.
- Thank you.
- But good to keep
in mind for the future.
- Beautiful.
- This one does rush in, and
it's gonna go ahead and try
and strike you with this
kind of hooked-looking blade.
- Come for me.
- That is gonna be a 22 to hit.
- That hits.
- Nope. Silvery Barbs.
(Aabria laughing)
- Oh, the game has begun.
(all laughing)
That's a natural 19.
- That also hits.
- f*ck. I tried, Deli.
- You tried. Thank you.
- It's okay.
You take six points of slashing damage
as it kind of (imitates blade scratching)
carves a little chunk out
of the side of your abdomen.
(Lou gasping)
It sees the impact that it assumed
would have a much greater
visual cue of pain
and perhaps victory on
its end of the struggle
does not come, as it
looks at this massive,
beefy warrior and goes, oh.
I've made a terrible mistake.
- You f*cked up.
(Aabria and Anjali laughing)
- That's gonna end its turn.
Now we come to the warriors.
This one that was called
to attack you is gonna try
and strike you again from behind.
- Quit.
- Natural 20.
- Oh.
- I would love to Silvery Barbs that.
- [Aabria And Anjali] Yay!
- Would absolutely love
to Silvery Barbs that.
- I mean, we all came from the same-
- That is a nine. So it misses.
But yes, please, use all your spell slots.
- And you already have
your advantage, right?
- Yes, I have my-
- How many advantages can you load up on-
Well, I'll give you the
advantage there, Colin.
- I feel like I fell into a
briar patch of Silvery Barbs.
(all laughing)
- Ow, oh, another!
- This is so stupid.
Why are we all the same people?
- We all have Telepathy.
We all have Silvery Barbs.
- I know-
- I promise we didn't talk to each other.
- That's the problem is we
didn't talk to each other,
and that's why we all chose
the thing that made sense.
- The one that you had stabbed
with your spear earlier,
now closes the gap next to the secondary,
freshly arrived robed FDA figure,
and is gonna go ahead and come towards you
with this mold-covered hammer.
That is gonna be a 17 to hit.
- Hits.
- You take three points
of bludgeoning damage.
- Mm-hmm.
- And five points
of poison damage as the weapon strikes you
and pulls away, you feel the mold begin
to just burn into your
skin where the impact hit.
- I don't like these guys.
- He's looking hurt too.
You jammed that hole in him,
and it's like (groaning).
You hear this sucking
sound, both from the opening
in the middle of its throat and
where the wound you left is.
- Mm-mm.
- That's gonna finish their go.
The rest of these are just gonna flee
deeper into the tunnel.
This one's gonna go into the tunnel.
And this one's gonna back up a little bit,
but now it's watching.
It's weirdly calmed and
intrigued by this scuffle.
Finishing their go, that
brings us to the top
of your initiative.
Raphaniel, you're up.
- Question for you, Matt.
- Yes.
- I have an ability
called Universal Speech
that allows me to pick
up to four creatures
and make them understand what I'm saying.
- Mm-hmm.
- Would that be an ability I could use
alongside the actual speech
I'm using Universal Speech for?
Or would that be a different
action on a subsequent turn?
- Sorry, to clarify, as
in just talking out loud?
- Yeah.
Action trigger the ability,
and then also the persuasion
or deception check of
the speech I am using
Universal action-
- I'd allow it.
Especially since you inhaled the spores
that directly connect you on a level
with these creatures' minds
that you still haven't fully comprehended.
- Okay.
I have some battle stuff I could do,
but I think, weirdly, in this moment,
Raphaniel's gonna try
to double down on this.
I'm gonna pick the Saprophian here,
the two that are in combat with us,
and maybe as the fourth one,
I'll just pick the mycelium itself?
- Okay.
- Just assume that
these vines and tendrils
are a part of a creature
that can maybe understand me?
- [Matt] Okay.
- I'm gonna use Universal Speech.
I'm gonna reach in, breathe
the spores into my lungs,
and not lie, which is a
new thing for Raphaniel.
(Anjali chuckling)
And go, what the purpose
of the heart of the world,
your beloved mycelium,
could be, I cannot know.
There is wisdom here beneath the earth
that I have been too much a fool to see.
But I know this to be true.
The robed figures of the
over-world use you to their ends,
The robed figures of the
over-world use you to their ends,
which are not for the good of your people.
Saprophians, I do not
know if our wishes align,
but I know that you are being used.
Stand with us if you would
throw off these usurpers.
- Make a persuasion check for me.
I will say here.
I would say here the DC for
getting them to stand down
will sit at a 23.
- Okay.
- [Matt] The DC to have them join you
in the midst of a combat fray
and going forward would be a 28.
- Okay.
23 to 28.
An 11 gets us to 'stand down'.
An 11 gets us to 'stand down',
and that means a 16 gets us to 'joins us'.
- Stakes.
There are f*cking stakes.
Colin's looking at a steak on the-
(Matt laughing)
- How'd that get down here?
- How'd that get down here?
Okay.
Seven.
I don't do it.
- Unfortunately, in
the midst of this chaos
that's engulfed this small cavern,
your words reach out to these minds,
but the instinctual combination
of the commands that
are being thrown to them
from their allies, the pain that some
of them are feeling from
the perceived aggressors,
it's too much for the words to
find purchase at this moment.
- I gave you Bardic, right?
No, I have not.
- You gave it to him.
- So, as I feel that not
work, I go, k*ll them.
And I'm gonna use Bardic Inspiration.
(Anjali laughing)
- Is it a d6 still?
- D8.
- D8, okay.
- Finally, some clarity.
All right.
- They suck. The mushroom guys suck.
They suck.
Get 'em. Get 'em.
- I've been having a hard
time this whole combat
'cause I'm kinda like, where do we stand.
- I thought maybe they would
accept me as one of their own
and I could be part of the
mushroom god consciousness,
but f*ck 'em.
They're mean.
(all laughing)
- We're doing it like we did
it on the Fructeran Road.
Feel good.
- Yes, yes.
We return to what we know, violence.
- Yes.
- Hopefully not exactly like that.
- [Lou] Exactly like that.
- [Anjali] Oh god.
- All right.
Does that finish your turn, Raphaniel?
Okay.
Now it comes to Delissandro
with Karna on deck.
- We know what we're doing now.
- Yay.
(Anjali laughing)
- Bonus action, Rage.
- Oh sh*t!
- It's been a long five years.
I'm going to attack
the one in front of me.
- The Saprophian or the-
- The Saprophian to start.
- Go for it.
- I'll be using the advantage I got
from Karna's Silvery Barbs.
- [Matt] You got it.
- And, god, do I need it.
That's gonna be a 21 to hit.
- That definitively hits.
Go ahead and roll damage
against the already wounded Saprophian.
- That is going to be 19 points of damage.
- You take the spear, and this time,
as opposed to aiming for the chest,
you go for the place where
the mask currently sits,
where you assume the face sits.
It pierces through the bone
(imitates bones cracking)
cracking inward and right
between its somewhat
off-kilter amber eyes.
The eyes roll back and
spores kind of drift
out of its mouth, not
enough force to expand
beyond its space, but it
goes limp on your spear
and is no longer conscious
or alive, as far as you know.
- [Lou] I shake it off and turn
toward this little corn man.
- Terribly sorry.
I was thinking about apologizing entirely.
This was a mistake.
- I will take another attack.
That's going to be a 16 to hit.
- 16 just hits.
- Oh. Great.
- [Anjali] Let's go.
- I'm gonna make this a Trip Attack
with one of my Battle Maneuvers.
- [Matt] You got it.
- The DC will be 17.
- Okay. Strength, right?
- [Lou] Yes.
- Nope. Nope.
That's a big fail.
- Okay. Great.
That's 11 points of damage.
I'm then going to use the
back half of Detriter,
which amongst that blue
kind of spindly stuff
is now just kind of barbs
and bits of bacon steel,
and put him on the ground.
- [Aabria] Is he prone?
- He is prone. And I go to stand over him.
- I sincerely, really apologize.
This is a gross misunderstanding.
I don't know how I got here.
These robes are wild.
Who put them on me? Who?
What day is it?
- You can answer all those
questions to Raphaniel
once you pass.
- I'm going to take your face.
(Matt laughing)
(Anjali laughing)
I'm gonna wear your clothes.
(Matt shrieking)
I'm gonna be you!
(Brennan cackling)
- Oh god.
- What is happening?
- We're back together again.
- My dreams are coming true!
- I don't like this,
Karna. I don't like this.
- No.
- I don't like it at all.
- No, no, no.
It's good. It's good to be here like this.
- I don't like-
Dislike. Dislike.
- Not really any winners here.
- That is the end of my turn.
- Sweet.
- You're up, Karna.
- Cool.
Karna has just seen you go into
a rage like, cool, a target.
He made him bleed his
own blood. We're done.
She just is gonna drop to all fours
and slither up to this guy on the ground,
and we are ending him.
Yeah.
Okay. Remind me of how prone works.
- You have advantage on the attack.
- So it's a natural 20.
- Yeah.
- That's fine.
- Cool. Cool, cool, cool.
- That's fine.
- And I'm throwing
everything I've got at it.
Which is, we'll just double it at the end,
'cause I've got Sneak Attack too.
And I'm using psychic blades.
- Okay.
- Oh.
- 20, and then doubled?
'Cause we double all the dice, right?
- Yeah, double the dice,
and then add all your modifiers.
- Okay, so 44.
- 44.
How do you wanna do this?
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, she just, it's one of those things
where she was kind of playing it safe
and trying to figure
out what was going on,
and then someone cut Deli,
and that's all she can see.
So she just gets up into his face.
It's not even personal.
So she's just crawling past him,
buries Reaper in him,
and is going to look up
at the leek guy in the front,
and I'm gonna use Wails from the Grave
to deal him five points
of necrotic damage.
- Ooh, ooh.
- As just some extra stank
off of my Sneak Attack.
So she doesn't pay attention
to him as she kills him.
- She just stabs, goes by, and glares.
You all hear this slight rumble up
from the chamber this
(imitates chamber rumbling)
echoes through the air, as across the way,
the singular cloaked figure,
which you now look him in the
face, recognize this leek.
- Yes.
- This is Porrum, the longtime
rising spymaster in Fructera
who has been messing with your network
for the past 10 years.
- Oh.
- Specifically Ja'Cru Dite,
as he does not recognize you.
- Hm.
- Then I'm just gonna
yell out as Ja'Cru Dite.
You're going to die down here.
(gasp)
Yeah.
C'est moi.
(Matt laughing)
- Perfect.
End your turn?
- Do I have a bonus action?
Yes, I do.
Bonus action, Bardic Inspiration to,
yeah, as I was kind of crawling past you,
I'm gonna throw Bardic to Amangeaux,
which is only a d6.
- Nice.
- So now we come to
Colin, and then Amangeaux.
- Okay.
I just realized maybe, I don't know
if you did his constitution
save for the wound.
- Oh, right, right. We'll do that now.
That would be a 13.
- It was 15.
- [Matt] Then yeah, he fails.
- He takes a d4 of damage from that.
- [Matt] Hell yeah.
- So that would be three necrotic damage.
- Oof, he's not looking well at all.
- From the previous thing.
Yeah, so, well, I mean,
you're still leaking.
And-
(Aabria and Anjali laughing)
I'll-
- Hit the leek thing.
- I'm hitting it pretty hard.
And I have to use the
advantage now, right?
'Cause it's on the next roll?
Or do I-
- No, you have a minute.
- You have a minute.
- Okay.
I might save it just 'cause
he seems kind of f*cked up.
- [Matt] Okay.
- Okay.
Let's see now.
Sometimes you-
So that's a 13. So that missed.
- 13 misses, unfortunately.
- So I might use it. I don't know.
I might use the advantage.
- [Matt] Go for it.
- Oh my god.
- What is that?
- It's a one and a two.
- Oh no.
(Aabria laughing)
Buddy.
- Remember how we were rolling so good?
- I just look over and I'm like,
I'm a much better skald than him.
- Yes. Oh, of course.
- Like, I k*lled a guy for you.
- Colin sucks right now.
- Oh, Colin.
- You do have a d8 Bardic Inspiration.
- So-
- Still doesn't-
- Is it too late to use the d8
for the previous attack roll?
- I'll allow it.
After a one and two, I just feel bad.
(all laughing)
- All right.
- DM pity.
- So, seven.
- That brings a 13 to a
20. That does hit, so-
(Matt laughing)
- Oh my god.
- Come on, Provolone.
- All right, so-
- He's gonna be okay.
He's your problem now.
- All right. Okay.
- So that is 23 damage.
- Oh, let's go.
- 23 damage to that FDA member?
- FDA.
- How do you wanna do this?
- Yes.
- I am just gonna say, yeah,
it seems like you've leek'd out.
(Matt laughing)
And just drive my sword through him
and put him into the ground.
(Matt grunting)
I guess he doesn't have to
make any more Con saves.
- Not so much.
- And then, yeah, I'm
just gonna turn around
to face the other dudes,
the other mycelium guys,
even though I don't
really wanna fight them,
but it just sort of is what it is.
- It still stands a good,
in this small space,
almost seven feet at the shoulder,
and this massive, broad cluster
of different fungus types
that kind of coat the
outside of the armor,
and it's just clutching this
large spear that's covered
in this thick, brown, spiky fungus.
That finishes your go.
Amangeaux, you're up.
- Is the corn guy dead?
- Corn guy is very dead.
- So there's...
I mean, I guess I might
as well attack this duder
who's attacking Provolone.
I don't like it. I don't like any of this.
I just wanna lodge a
complaint with the fate board.
- [Matt] So you're moving
through to as*ault that-
- [Anjali] Yes.
- [Matt] Okay.
- [Anjali] Let me as*ault him from behind.
- [Matt] All right.
- Did not say that.
- You didn't get the mental connection
you were trying to make.
You abandon it, rush through the troop,
and head up right in front of it.
- I also wanna say that I
clocked her leaping into action
after he got hit.
- Correct.
- [Anjali] Very clocked.
- However, you do have
advantage on your attacks
because you are now pincering the creature
between you and Colin.
- Sneak Attack.
Wow. It's rubbed off.
It's really rubbed off on me.
- [Matt] New box?
- I think it's the box.
We're not gonna use the box anymore.
- Y'all gotta swap that box.
- [Anjali] Seven. So that did not hit.
That's an 11.
- 11 does not hit,
unfortunately, as you kinda-
- I just bonk him on the head.
- [Matt] Yeah.
- Um, excuse me, sir.
- You have a d6 of Bardic.
- Oh.
- If you want to use it.
- I don't know if it-
Would it-
- If you roll high.
- Why not?
He's the only one left.
- Be good.
- Oh yeah. It's a six.
- That brings it to a 17?
- Yeah.
- That definitely hits.
- Okay.
- So go ahead and roll damage.
- Yay.
- I did a thing.
Finally.
I turned into this wiry person,
and I haven't done anything
with it with this g*ng.
I feel very insecure with this g*ng.
- You're doing good. You're doing good.
- f*cking great damage.
- Oh, sorry.
That is a two.
- And then you have your Sneak Attack.
- And that is a two plus
Sneak Attack, right?
- Well, that's two plus your
Dex mod, which is a four.
So that's six points of damage
plus your Sneak Attack damage.
- 5d6.
- Let's go.
- Whoa.
- Wow.
- You need extra d6?
No, you have a hundred dice over there.
- I don't-
Hang on a second.
(Matt laughing)
Jesus.
- That's Laura Bailey energy right there.
- [Aabria] Yeah.
- I need as much support
as I can get.
I'll get it back.
Okay.
Look, it's jewelry for gamers.
- I just loved seeing you
activate your back muscles
to lift your dice tray.
(Matt laughing)
- That's what the delts are for.
(Brennan grunting)
- All right. 18.
- Plus six.
- Plus six.
- 24 points of damage.
- Let's go.
- Not really been wounded at this point,
and it's walking between as
you rush in with your blade,
jam it right between the center
of its broad, kind of triangular torso.
And as you crush the blade into it,
you hit something that you hear a pop.
(air whistling)
And you see this kind of odd dripping,
almost like a custard
coloration, fade from its body.
It's doing rough.
- I don't like it.
I think I'm gonna hang here.
- You're gonna hang there?
- Yeah.
- Okay. That finishes your turn.
Back at the top of the round.
Now, the two current FDA members are gone.
They do not have initiative.
The one standing Saprophian warrior
that's now heavily wounded
and now trapped in this space
is starting to look around in a panic.
It's gonna go ahead and
(imitates air whooshing)
and emit this cloud of spores.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- I need both Colin and Amangeaux
to make a constitution
saving throw for me, please.
- That was dumb. That was dumb.
- Poopy.
- Hey, this happened
to me once upon a time.
You're gonna be all right.
- Con save?
- It's gonna be fine.
- 16.
- [Matt] 16 is a success.
You only take six points of poison damage.
- That's a failure.
- Okay. So you take 13
points of poison damage.
- Okay.
(Anjali groaning)
Gross.
- [Matt] That brings us to
Raphaniel with Deli on deck.
- Hell yeah.
Is this Saprophian looking pretty hurt?
- Very hurt.
- I'm going to go for a cantrip.
I'm gonna go for a Vicious Mockery.
- [Matt] Okay.
- And I'll ask-
- I must communicate with you.
- [Lou] Exactly.
- So that I can tear
you apart with my words.
- I have Universal Speech still active.
So I'm going to cast universal mockery.
So it's a wisdom saving
throw or take 2d4 damage.
- That is gonna be a 12.
- That's a failure.
- Yeah.
- Six points of damage.
- How do you wanna do this?
(Brennan laughing)
- I'm going to look at the Saprophian
and speak in this Universal Speech.
So I think, when I speak, blue
pulse of mycelium comes out
So I think, when I speak, blue
pulse of mycelium comes out
of the spores that I have
inhaled into my mouth,
and I go, people have been telling me
I am not ready, not included,
not to be given mask or robe.
I am not ready, not included,
not to be given mask or robe.
You had a chance to have me as a friend,
and now I'll pull your roots
out of this wicked earth myself.
And I want the pulse of
blue to go through the walls
and unmake the Saprophian in front of me.
(Matt imitates energy whirring)
- You see the tunnel
itself glow in a ring as it
(imitates energy whooshing)
travels down in the direction.
And as it hits, the amber
eyes glow blue for a second
before fading to a milky white.
The skull mask on its head
kind of falls and cracks
onto the ground, and you
watch as the bright bursts
of color on its body fade to a dull gray,
and it just begins to fold and crumble
like a rapidly drying leaf.
(Matt groaning)
- (silently) This is so f*cking sick.
- I'm gonna pull a dagger out and kneel
next to the corn priest and
start sawing at his neck.
- Oh, oh, oh.
- Hey, bud. What you doing?
- I need help.
We have to scoop the brains out.
It's too heavy to carry.
- I'm sorry.
Your Eminence, Your Eminence, slow down.
- No, no, no.
I've been skulking-
- Give me the knife.
- I've been skulking through
crypts and catacombs for years.
- I've been skulking through
crypts and catacombs for years.
Now, I have their bones.
I have their minds.
There's so many theological questions
about where we go when we die,
to the pit of the Hungry One's stomach
or into the light of the Bulb.
I'll tell you where they go.
My study!
- Oh. Okay.
All right. Okay.
So, now we've expressed our emotions.
(Brennan giggling)
- Tie his skull to my belt.
- I think he's right.
And I'm just gonna start
cutting the leek's head.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- Wait, no, no, no. That's mine.
- Thank you, Sir Provolone.
Bulb's blessings on you.
- [Zac] Okay. Yeah.
- Any of the gentle mushrooms.
Is that guy still in the
hallway or did he run?
- You glance back, and that one small one
that you originally connected with
is still kind of just watching
from a distance wide-eyed.
- Oh no.
Oh no.
I am gonna put my weapons
down, and I'm gonna walk back
just to the opening of
the hallway over there.
And I am again going to attempt
to speak with it telepathically.
- It kind of backs up a few steps.
- And the energy I want it to feel from me
is as if everything,
armor, everything was off.
Just off and in very basic clothing,
and hands out like this.
- Make a persuasion check.
- Okay. Okay.
That is a 20-something.
That's a 26.
- A 26.
As you kind of approach
and it steps back a bit,
you kind of put forth that
maternal energy in its direction,
palms up, weapons not seen.
It kind of c*ck its head to the side
and you hear this (cooing).
It kind of takes a step back towards you.
- Okay.
- Another step.
And the spores-
- No.
- Fill the space around you
as you kind of inhale them intentionally.
- Y'all gotta stop breathing this sh*t.
What are you doing?
- You feel that connection strengthen,
and in that unique tether,
you begin to pick up
just kind of its mood.
It's frightened. It's confused.
It's intrigued.
It's fighting instincts to run.
You immediately pick up in
its mind, we always run.
We must always run.
You can't see. You can't be here.
- I am immediately going to
call back to everyone else.
We k*ll no more of these.
This is it. We're done.
- Let's be fair.
That's not really on us, you know?
- Fine.
But these are gentle creatures.
- Not that one, and I point at the one.
(Matt laughing)
- In defense, maybe not.
But these are gentle creatures,
and they do not deserve our w*r.
We have a w*r to fight
aboveground, not down here.
- I think the best way to do that
is to stop these cloaked figures here.
- Yeah, I'm gonna look the
way that the corn guy came.
Can I look down the tunnel
from which the corn guy came
and that Porrum was running?
- Indeed.
Go ahead and make a
perception check for me.
- [Aabria] f*ck.
- A natural 20.
- [Aabria And Anjali] Yeah.
- So the tunnel immediately on this side,
you look into it, and this
one looks more freshly dug,
like the ones that you entered from.
So you get the sense immediately
that some of these splinter tunnels
are dividing off into different areas
around the b*ttlefield.
- Mm-hmm.
- Or underneath the city of Pangranos.
- Mm.
- The tunnel that he
was running goes deeper
and steadily widens as
it progresses further
beneath the landscape.
- I think there's more
of the FDA this way.
And I'm, I think, kind of still
in having activated
battle mode, spear out.
I'm gonna start, leave
Raphaniel and his slicing.
But I'm gonna start moving
down deeper into the tunnel.
- Okay. Okay.
You going carefully?
- Slowly, but not stealthily.
- Okay. Got it.
So you begin trekking down
ahead down this tunnel area
while you are finishing carving the heads
from these two bodies.
What are the rest of you doing?
- I think Colin's gonna
put on the leek's cloak,
even if it's bloodstained or whatever.
- Yeah.
- Maybe it gives you
a second or two of-
- The good news is these
cloaks are pretty patchworked,
and now that you have the context of it,
you can see the way that
they're designed and painted,
it matches a lot of the
mold and mildew aesthetic
of the inside of these tunnels,
and a lot of the rotting
food-based materials
that are embedded.
And as you look around too,
you notice the mycelium in the walls,
it looks like some of these Saprophians,
when they were in here, they
weren't just digging the holes.
They were also pressing
rotting food into the mycelium.
- [Aabria] Mm.
- Like they were packing
bits of mildewed fruit
and leftover chunks of
what might've been soldiers
on other battlefields.
Fallen elements of nearby
trees or just gathered grains
from the nearby Ceresian fields
that have begun to mildew.
And they're just kind of
pushing it in small ways
along the mycelium.
- Are we in compost?
(Zac laughing)
- Who all is a melee combatant
at this stage five years later?
- I am.
- [Brennan] Mostly all of you? All right.
- I've got range stuff but-
- Yeah, both.
- Both? Okay.
I can only cast a spell on three people,
so I'm trying to figure out
who's most likely to be front lines.
- Probably the three of them
are most likely to be
front lines, I think.
- Okay.
As I'm finishing sawing these heads off,
if I see you heading off to investigate,
I'll just say.
Shout if you need anything.
I'll just be another minute here.
We end them today.
We found them. They
finally made their mistake.
We're going to destroy them.
And I'm going to cast
a very creepy Heroism
on Karna, Colin, and Deli.
So each of you has four
temporary hit points
that refreshes at the start
of every one of your turns.
- Thank you.
- How long does that last for?
- I'm gonna cast extend.
I'm gonna Metamagic Extend Spell.
- Okay.
- So it'll last for two hours.
- Great.
- Wow.
- Fantastic.
- All right.
- It's concentration, but I'm good.
I'm good at, yeah.
- Awesome.
- And we know, don't let him get hit.
- I remember the feeling the
last time that he did that,
and I just steel myself, and I say,
now is not the time to be unlucky.
Now is the time to choose your battles.
Now is the time to know.
And I cast Fortune's Favor. No, sorry.
I cast False Life.
- [Matt] False Life.
- On myself.
- Alrighty.
- So I have four plus 1d4 plus
four temporary hit points.
- So now everyone's got a
little bank of temp hit points.
I love it. I love it.
- I'm also going to-
If you got the leek's, I'm
gonna get the corn's robe.
- [Matt] Okay.
- Does the corn or leek
have a mask on them?
- Neither of them have masks.
You get the sense that
the presentational element
of your previous clandestine meetings
are not necessary in these tunnels
where no surface folk
are supposed to dwell.
- Gotcha.
Okay.
- I am looking for Porrum's signet,
'cause I know we all have
to kind of sign our stuff.
Since everything's so clandestine,
you need to be able to signal who you are
when you're sending secret messages.
- [Matt] Oh yeah. Yeah.
- I wanna take that off his body.
- Easy enough to find.
On his left hand, kind
of on the middle finger.
You see this thick,
thick kind of a green
celery-based metal band,
and a large wide signet
that has what looks
to be a blade pushed through an eye,
a simplistic symbol, and
kind of a little gauche.
It's a little over the top and
on the nose for a spymaster,
but you know, that's his aesthetic too.
- Gross.
I'm gonna take that finger
and the one next to it,
and I'll keep the ring and
the finger for me for later,
and then, take the extra
finger and kind of just,
as a little offering, jam it
next to some of the mycelium.
- Okay.
- I get it.
- [Matt] You get it.
- Can I leave one last message impression
with the little mycelium duder?
- Yeah. Go for it.
- The little mushroom duder?
I wanna send an image of
me hand out in front of it
standing in front of it
with anything coming at it,
defending it.
- Okay. All right.
It seems to accept it and
just kind of sits and waits.
- Okay. And I'll follow everybody else.
- I like this guy.
- Okay.
So as the rest of you gather the robes,
search the bodies, collect the heads.
Delissandro, you continue
to go deeper and deeper
into these tunnels.
Are you going stealthily or are
you just keeping an eye out?
- I think I'm going carefully,
slowly, but not, you know.
I'm a big meat man.
You know, I'm not trying to
push up against the walls.
It's just a slow, patient,
spear first approach.
- Understood.
The tunnels continue to
wind and descend deeper,
deeper beneath the
Ceresian earth and dirt.
Watching the mycelium
network itself grow thicker
the further down you go,
watching it stretching past you,
it's almost reaching for the surface
in the way that it's continuing to expand
and push behind you.
The blue glow is beautiful,
almost serene amongst these
lower regions of the rock.
It gives this kind of brighter,
progressively brighter blue coloration,
this almost welcoming
alien subterranean network
that it's unique and beyond
anything you've seen before.
The smell of the rot, the
decay is growing stronger
and stronger as well.
The sweetness and acrid
element, it puts you off
and kind of contrasts with
the beauty of your descent.
Make a perception check
for me, if you don't mind.
- That's gonna be an eight,
but I'm gonna add the Bardic Inspiration-
- Okay.
- That I got
from Raphaniel earlier to make it an 11.
- That's better than an eight.
You descend around the corner
of one long kind of winding spiral.
And you can see the elements
of food and just rotting things
gathered from the surface of Calorum
pressed into where the
network kinda grows over you,
the light pulsing.
(Matt imitates lights thumping)
It seems to be pulling elements
of the nutrients with it
deeper beneath ground, and you hear voices
just as you're about to crest
into a widening of the tunnel.
- I will halt.
- Okay.
- And listen.
- You listen and you hear this textured,
ragged, ruined voice say hi there.
Don't stop working. Keep pushing.
We don't have much time.
We're supposed to bring it back soon.
Get it ready. Get it going.
I said work.
And this light kind of
enters and kind of alights
some of the chamber where you are,
just kind of looking past, like reflecting
from something within and beyond.
And you hear this (screeching)
like a withering reaction
and the voice goes (chuckling).
Right, now keep it going.
Go. Go.
Keep gathering.
And the footsteps kind of moving around.
- How far are my friends
behind me at this point?
- I think I would have
probably hurried up after you.
- Yeah.
I'd say you now acknowledge at this point
after you've gone down.
This is a couple hundred feet.
- Okay.
- Or so, and you begin
to turn to recognize
that Colin, Sir Colin,
has just caught up to you.
- (whisper) I say, sh.
- (whisper) I think we
should talk at some point.
- We-
(Aabria laughing)
Oh, you wanna talk?
- Not right now.
- All right. Okay.
We should.
- What's going on over here?
- Oh, there's-
I like the armor.
- Thank you.
What's going on? What happened?
- Oh.
It was a fight.
It was right after we crossed the border.
We were ambushed.
But, you know, we gave 'em-
Karna was with me.
- Oh.
- [Lou] She's my new skald.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
(Aabria laughing)
It seems like you and Raphaniel are-
- Yeah, we're good buds now, and-
- Are you-
- I'm a knight, so I'm sir.
- What?
- It's Sir Colin.
- [Lou] Oh.
- Sir Colin Provolone, so.
- Got it.
- Wow. So she's the new skald.
Cool. That's awesome.
- Well, she's really,
she's proved herself in a lot of ways.
- Yeah. So have I.
(Aabria laughing)
So have I.
- I'm glad.
Are you and Raphaniel close?
- He's my...
He's my freaking best friend.
(all laughing)
- Somewhere Raphaniel goes (shuddering).
(all laughing)
What was that?
- Deli, crushed, is
going to avert his eyes
and try and take a peek around the corner
to see, mostly so that Colin
doesn't have to see his face,
but also 'cause he wants
to know what's going on.
- Make a stealth check
for me, if you don't mind.
- I will say too, mechanically,
I don't know if that 11
constitutes a failure or a success.
If it was a failure, you keep
the Bardic Inspiration die
because of Unfailing Inspiration.
- That's pretty good.
It was barely a success.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- [Lou] Great.
Cool.
I have disadvantage on Stealth.
One's a nat 20, the other
one's a four for a six.
- I'm in hell hearing that.
(Matt laughing)
- You slowly turn around the corner,
putting your arm on part of
this Ceresian stone wall,
this large piece of dried
macaroni in your grip.
(Matt imitates wall crumbling)
And it tears off and snaps and crumbles.
(Matt imitates wall crumbling)
- Raphaniel?
Oh sh*t.
(all laughing)
- You do glance past and
get a flash of a look.
- [Lou] Mm-hmm.
- This tunnel opens into
a chamber, like an atrium.
In this space, you can see
the ground itself dips below
like a long, dragged pit that is filled
with festering gathered
scavenged bits of food
from all across Calorum.
You can see bits of sweets and waffle
and running chunks of apple and cherry.
There is just this growing
cluster of fuzz and mold
and little pods and caps of
mushroom and fungus within it.
You get a glance of a
couple of Saprophians
that are kind of tilling
it, pulling through it,
gathering and putting elements of the rot
into small bags and
satchels on their side.
You see a few armored Saprophians
that are kind of walking
across this long kind of
hardened pretzel-like bridge
that goes across,
and these other kind of
soft platforms they leap
from as they go to check in on the work.
And in the center, you
see one robed FDA figure
And in the center, you
see one robed FDA figure
that is kind of overlooking
them, clutching this small,
glowing thing in their
hand that you recognize
as the source of the
light that seemed to flash
or glow earlier.
The figure also immediately goes, huh.
What was that?
And another voice from
back in the tunnel goes,
oh, did you hear anything?
(Aabria laughing)
Yeah, I did. Up from that tunnel.
I'm gonna go check it.
Please do.
Just in case someone's
not supposed to be here.
- Are you all hearing that voice?
(all laughing)
- Assuming that we've caught up-
- I'm gonna telepathically
sh**t over to Deli and be like,
are you hearing something down there.
- Yes.
There's a wild voice.
(all laughing)
- What does it sound like?
- Oh no.
(Matt laughing)
The words are different.
Oh no.
It's the way it hangs on every word.
- Watching y'all have a
telepathic conversation,
I'm like, wow, it seems, the
looks are doing a lot here.
- I'm gonna reach out
to Colin and be like,
Deli's trying to-
(Zac screaming)
(Matt laughing)
- This is the first time
anyone has talked to him.
- Oh sh*t.
- Exactly. Exactly.
(Zac shrieking)
(Brennan laughing)
- Never mind.
This is a dream. You're dreaming.
You're awake now.
(Zac panting)
(Anjali laughing)
- Colin, what's wrong.
- Are you okay?
- Are you all been doing
this the whole time?
(Brennan laughing)
- I thought you guys were best friends.
You've never?
- We talk out loud, okay?
Like buds.
Not the-
Okay. Whatever.
What's that voice?
- I'm not sure.
- You two, come with me.
- [Anjali] Uh-oh.
- And travel under the light of the Bulb.
- Raphaniel, we should handle this.
We're wearing the cloaks.
- So I'm still up here,
but depending on how long
it would take for me
and Amangeaux to finish
carving things up up there.
- You mean Karna.
- You mean Karna, 'cause
I talked to the thing
and then kept going.
- Right.
- Oh, you kept going.
Did you stay with me?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- I was having a quiet arc
moment with my dead enemy.
- Got it.
- The leek.
- So, and it doesn't take too long.
You're practiced at such things.
- Yeah, and we're still-
- So you hear this voice
just as you're starting
to head down the tunnel,
and you know it's a couple
hundred feet to get there.
So you can either book it
or await for what you
think might be coming.
- I'm gonna disguise self into
Master Porrum in his robes
and follow quickly after.
- Okay.
So you're rushing down to gather.
Are you heading down?
- I think if I have everything I need,
I'm gonna follow behind
Karna as quickly as possible,
in a robe as well.
- Amangeaux, you're halfway there
when you hear these voices happen.
What are you two doing?
- If they're coming around the corner
to try to stall, I might
go around the corner
and just be like (coughing).
And just cough for a while.
- With the robes on?
- [Zac] Yeah.
- Okay.
Hey, hey. You okay?
(Zac coughing)
- And motion to the spore kind of stuff.
(Zac coughing)
In my throat.
In my throat.
- Hmm, he kinda leans in, that
kind of the that tattered,
ruined voice kind of going,
you don't have a lot of
light until it brings up
the glow beneath the hood and
kind of goes to glance at you.
You look underneath
and you see this pockmarked
dark cheese face.
and you see this pockmarked
dark cheese face.
Old, withered, and
horribly scarred with burns
and melt marks as it goes, Colin?
- Is this...
Is this my f*cking dad?
- You see before you a deeply ruined
but survived Aaron Fontina.
(Aabria shrieking)
- Colin's gonna pull his
sword and throw the cloak off
and draw his sword and look at him.
Dad, what?
You're alive?
- Yeah.
- Well, not for long.
(Brennan laughing)
- Right as the voice
goes, what's going on.
- Nothing at all.
And just takes the sword and
is just gonna take a swing.
- All right, well, that being the case,
let's go ahead and bring in the next map.
(all shouting)
- If Ally Beardsley was here,
they would have immediately called that
as Mrs. Doubtfire in that room.
They would have made the reference.
They would been like, hello.
(all laughing)
- And with that, as the rest of the troupe
begins to rush down the tunnel to gather
with the rest of those who went ahead
and uncovered some
interesting, unexpected truths,
I need you all to roll initiative.
- Woo.
- Woo.
- I will give you advantage
since you were the one
who technically initiated
this on your father.
25 to 20.
(Aabria laughing)
(Matt laughing)
20 to 15.
- 18.
- 18 as well.
- 18 as well.
- Look at you two.
Look at you two.
(Brennan laughing)
- [Anjali] Okay, triplets.
- This is so fun.
- Okay. Okay.
- Fight for him.
Fight for daddy.
- Alrighty.
15 to 10.
- 11.
- 14.
- Oh, Amangeaux,
you should reconsider
your footwear choices.
- You wore high heel boots underground.
- All right.
So, as you all go kinda
rushing into this space,
Colin, you threw the
robes off, blade drawn,
had this showdown and
have your weapon out.
A voice goes, oh, by the
Bulb, we're under attack.
And across the way, you see
this chasm of stretched fungus,
these series of precarious
platforms where the mold
and mildew hasn't yet reached
where it would be safe
for a surface dweller of
Calorum to step across.
And on the opposite side of this tunnel,
you see a pious-looking
man wearing remnants
of the FDA cloak, but
visibly underneath that,
the raiments of a member
of the Bulbian Church.
There, he grasps a staff within his hand,
and where the torso would be,
there is a massive biscuit
covered in a glistening gravy-
- Ew.
- That drips off the sides.
A comb over, very apparent
upon his jaundiced skin
as he glances across,
points a finger forward.
Oh no.
And is gonna go ahead
and cast Stinking Cloud.
(Brennan laughing)
- Of course he is.
- That's so gross.
- [Brennan] Of course
he is. Of course he is.
- as*h*le.
- Immediately, this side of the chamber
(imitates gas hissing)
fills with a terrible fume,
this deep green and yellow gas just
(imitates gas whooshing) fills the area,
and that fake cough
that you were exhibiting
when you entered becomes
a very, very real cough.
That is gonna finish
his turn and is going.
Get them, please.
That brings us to Colin.
Your go, at the top of your turn,
I need you to make a
constitution saving throw for me.
- Okay.
- Buddy.
- Come on, Colin.
- Come on, Provolone.
- Okay.
A 19.
- 19.
You (coughing) kick it from your system.
You can take a turn as normal.
- Okay.
Colin's gonna see his father,
who's this piece of sh*t,
who his whole childhood made him go out
into the streets and
try to steal from people
and just get him any money at all
so he could drink the day away,
and is just sort of just for
sure thought he was dead,
and maybe ran from that
scenario early enough
to have not seen how that played out.
But it's just seeing him in this space,
wielding that kind of
power over people again,
just fills him with rage,
and he's going to attack him.
- All right.
Do you wish to stay in the cloud?
- [Zac] Can I not leave this
area but get behind him?
- [Matt] Yeah, yeah.
- Kinda spin around him.
- [Matt] Kinda just (grunting) leap
across over to this space
and fall in and die.
No.
There, you stand, with the
cloud still present here.
- And can I reach him from there?
- I will say he's technically
standing on this edge here.
So there is a five-foot gap there.
You could attack him as you dart past
'cause you are-
- Cool.
- You're Sir Colin Provolone.
- Yes.
- Come on, Provolone.
- Sorry, can I attack before
I get out of the cloud
or do I-
- No, you can do that.
- [Zac] Yeah, I might do that
and just do a Pushing Attack on him.
- [Matt] Oh yeah.
- [Zac] And try and
knock him into this sh*t.
- [Matt] Great. Let's do that.
- f*ck this guy.
All right.
- Let's go.
- Hmm.
Okay, that's gonna be a 13.
- 13, unfortunately, misses.
- Okay.
- Your first strike goes through
and you (imitates sword
whooshing) swing wide.
His surprise in his face kind
of puts him on guard already,
and he kind of darts out of the way,
draws his blade, and is
now ready to come at you
with the same aggression.
- Okay.
I'm gonna take my second attack.
That's a 19 on the die,
so that probably hits.
- Oh yeah, that definitely hits.
- And so, I'm gonna use my,
you know, Swashbuckler
Sneak Attack that I get to-
- Yeah, 'cause there's nobody else nearby.
Go for it.
- Okay.
So that's gonna be 15 damage,
and then he has to do-
So, he has to make two saves,
one for the Longsword of Wounding,
and then one for that Pushing Attack.
- Okay. It's constitution
for the wounding,
which is a 13.
- [Zac] It's 15 is the wounding.
- Okay, so he takes the
extra necrotic damage.
- On his turn.
And then, to be pushed is
a strength saving throw.
- That's a 12.
- Okay. I believe that is also a 15.
I actually don't have that on
this sheet for some reason.
- It should be primary modifier
plus your proficiency bonus
plus eight, I think, 10 or eight.
- Yeah, it'd be three
plus your proficiency
and your strength.
- Four, so seven plus eight, so 15.
- 15, yeah. It's a definite failure.
- Okay, so I'm gonna
hit him into that sh*t.
(Matt groaning)
- Kind of falls back
and immediately stumbles
(imitates body thudding)
into the side of the rot,
almost knocking over one
of the other Saprophians,
one of the warrior Saprophians
that has its weapon drawn now
at the sound of combat
being commanded by the far,
distant, weird biscuit man.
He stumbles in and immediately
(shrieking) begins to shriek
as the mold begins to burn
across the back of his body.
He takes an additional
six points of damage.
And the weird source of
the light he has dropped
on the ground at your feet
is now kind of alighting
the center of this space
here almost like a dull,
glowing, golden light.
So those are your attacks.
- And then I'll just hop across that gap,
try to create some space.
- You got it.
You want to just stay
there or you wanna move?
- I think right there.
- Right there?
You got it.
Okay.
That finishes your go.
That brings us now to
Raphaniel with Deli on deck.
- Incredible.
How far back up the tunnel am I?
Where can I kind of get to in this round?
You now see this cloud of
gas (imitates gas whooshing)
fill the entryway of where
this cavern would be.
Half of your friends are now
coughing within the inside.
You're not quite sure how far it goes.
You can try and push into
it and continue to go
and hope for the best,
or you can stay put.
- Yeah, I think I'm gonna hold my breath
and try to charge through the fog.
Charge through the cloud as best I can.
- Okay.
So at that point, that puts you at a five,
10, 15, 20, 25, 30.
You've gone, what's your movement, full?
- Movement is 30.
- Is 30, yeah.
- Let's go ahead and-
- You're still like
(coughing) it's unending
as you push through, kind of your feet,
you know, pushing into
this kind of softer portion
of the cavern.
Your visibility is a bit obscure,
but you can see the room
opening slightly ahead of you.
- But I can also feel that
I haven't made a save yet
on entering the fog, right?
- Not quite yet.
No, it's at the start of its turn.
- Okay.
In that case, I will Cunning Action Dash
to get out of the fog.
And I will go move to go side
by side with Colin Provolone.
- Okay.
You dash out of the
cloud holding your breath
as fast as you can to try and avoid
whatever this strange fume is.
Right at the last minute,
you notice that where you're running ends,
and there is just a pit filled
with dark fungus and mold,
and you have to instinctually
try and leap across it.
I'll say because it
catches you off guard here,
just make an acrobatics or athletics check
to try and just catch
yourself at the last minute.
Not knowing what's coming forward.
- Ahem.
Very well.
I will do that. Great point.
(all laughing)
- It's not a terrible DC, thankfully.
But-
- Incredible.
- Keeps it fun.
- Okay. Yes.
- We're having fun.
- Very fun.
- We're having fun here.
- That's fun.
- Having a good time.
- I got a plus five.
Normally, I roll really well
when I make a big deal about it.
(all laughing)
16.
- Okay.
(Matt grunting)
- Just barely make it
across right into the face
of one of these armored Saprophians,
who is now just sitting
there, hunched forward.
It's kind of mold-covered
almost like a cattle skull
that seems to have been scavenged
from the northern Meat
Lands that sits atop it.
A singular amber eye that
kind of pokes through
where the jaw opens up slightly,
and it just kind of holds this elongated,
mold-covered, almost like a shortsword
and kind of (croaking).
- I'm gonna try and look.
I see that there's this effect over here.
Would I recognize that as a spell effect?
Maybe yes, maybe-
I'm not sure if that-
I don't wanna meta-game
here unnecessarily.
But-
- You're uncertain, actually.
I mean, you're in a place filled
with decaying matter around here.
If you'd like to make an Arcana check.
- Let me make an Arcana check to see
if I can tell that's a spell or not.
23.
- 23?
I'd say, coming through,
there is something
that kind of buzzed across your skin
in your senses that gave you the sense
this is not a natural fume.
- Okay.
In that case, I whip around looking
for any non-Saprophian
I can see in the room.
- You do see, over here, robes open,
this somewhat crazed-looking carrot,
not wearing anything beneath it.
It's just like (screaming)
just starts screaming
with dagger in the air.
- Why?
- Why a naked carrot? Why a naked carrot?
- And then, across,
way across the chamber,
you see in Bulbian attire
beneath the robe itself,
this biscuit figure just going
and may his light bless us all.
- Oh my god.
- For the first time in his life,
Raphaniel understands physical arousal.
(Anjali laughing)
- [Anjali] What?
- I go to hell.
I go to the Hungry One
in this moment right now.
- I feel it in my heart, and
I have a heart attack and die.
- I just free fall into the-
(Matt laughing)
- Yeah, Deli just lays
down in the Stinking Cloud.
All right. Sure.
- [Aabria] You made us all give up.
(Matt laughing)
- I don't care how attractive
that Bulbian priest might be.
(Aabria retching)
(Anjali laughing)
Listen.
That's the spellcaster.
That's who we need to target.
- I'm gonna keep fighting my dad.
(Brennan laughing)
- No, and I'm going to hit,
I still have my action.
I am going to launch a
Shatter at the priest
at the far side of the room.
- That's gonna be a 12 on their DC.
- That is a failure.
- Through the golden light above, we-
f*ck!
(Matt imitates expl*si*n booming)
- The side of the tunnel-
- His voice, incredible. Incredible voice.
- Incredible in what way?
(Aabria and Anjali laughing)
- That's gonna be 18
points of thunder damage.
- Let's go.
- [Matt] 18 points of thunder damage.
- And, hopefully, trigger a concentration.
- They do have advantage on it.
God. Seriously?
(all laughing)
Okay.
(Matt chuckling)
f*cking nine, and the DC was 10.
- Oh.
- Aw.
(Matt imitates gas whooshing)
- The cloud dissipates before
it can really do its sh*t.
(all laughing)
And the biscuit man goes, oh, my c*ck.
- I got him right in the c*ck.
(Anjali laughing)
- I need this energy to be
directed somewhere else.
- You're my best friend.
(Aabria laughing)
- Yeah, yeah.
I guess I said that. I
guess I did say that.
- Does that finish your turn, Raphaniel?
- [Brennan] That finishes my turn.
- Delissandro.
- I'm gonna come charging
in, immediately feel weird
seeing Raphaniel and Colin
Provolone fighting side by side.
- [Matt] 20 feet to get there.
- 20 feet to get there?
I've got 20 more feet of movement.
Can I get on the other
side of Colin Provolone?
- With enough of an
athletics check, you can.
- I would love to give
you that athletics check.
- That was a-
- 17?
- 17 will do it.
- Ooh.
- You just (imitates footsteps pounding)
leap over in full arc over Raphaniel
and Sir Colin Provolone.
(Matt imitates feet thudding)
Impact landing on the opposite side
of this large bagel platform.
- And then, I'm absolutely
going to skewer the-
- [Matt] Saprophian warrior?
- Saprophian warrior standing right there.
- [Matt] Go for it. Make a strike.
- All right.
That'll be a 24 to hit.
- That definitely hits.
- And that'll be, br,
br, br, br, br, br, br.
16 points of damage.
- Okay.
Would you like to Rage before that?
- No, I would not.
- Okay. You got it.
- I want my mind about me.
- I understand that.
- There's a lot going on.
(Matt groaning)
- It looks pretty hurt.
- Let's give it one more.
That's a 20 to hit.
- That also hits.
- That'll be...
Why is math hard? 15 points of damage.
- With the second strike
(grunting) you stick it
in the middle of its shoulder area,
or what you assume the shoulder area is.
The arm just kind of flies off,
and you watch the impact begin sending it
to fall backward, and
as you use that momentum
of the spear going
through, you turn it around
and crack it in the side of the torso,
and it goes flying off to the side before
(imitates dust whooshing)
decomposing, it seems,
rapidly in middle air, and slapping
against the far wall, destroyed.
- Can I make an insight check
to see if Colin thought that was cool?
- [Matt] Sure, go for it.
Make an insight check.
- That's only gonna be a 12.
- I think, what kind of roll?
(Zac laughing)
- [Matt] Deception, if you're trying
to keep it on the down low.
- You see Colin staring
at his father in the-
While Raphaniel's trying
to get in his eye line.
There's a little too much going on.
- [Lou] All right.
- Father.
- I think that'll be it, then, for me.
I don't think I can hit anyone else.
We're good. Great.
I'll just hold there.
- Okay. You got it.
Finishing Delissandro's
turn, that brings us to Karna
with Amangeaux on deck.
- Okay.
So I wanna get in and up enough
to get eyes on the rest of the room.
I've heard Raphaniel
yell that the nasty boy
in the back's a spellcaster.
What does it look like
is happening behind him?
Does it-
Does the cavern narrow up?
- The cavern narrows up here
and continues down a
longer tunnel this way.
The figure doesn't seem
to feel too threatened
with the distance and
the number of soldiers
and other Saprophians that are currently,
you know, working through the
rot tunnel and around him.
It just kind of, well, was chanting
before he had half his face
blown off by a sudden Shatter
and is now starting to take
in maybe this is a bad thing.
But this is just a long stretch of rot.
- Okay.
- There are stones
and protrusions across
it that are very small
that would require a
high DC acrobatics check
to try and make the distance.
And you have moved 30 feet
to get to where you are right now.
- Yeah. Okay.
Then I'm gonna-
Yeah, f*ck it. I love it.
Point at him and just go, sh.
No words for the Bulb down here.
And cast silence.
- Oh sh*t.
- Wow.
- Okay. Okay.
- I want to center it just in-
I want it to be just enough behind him
that if he was to back out of the silence,
he doesn't have eyes on us anymore,
and he has to move so far-
Can you shift it a little?
- Yeah, yeah.
- A little farther up.
So he has to come and get in the sh*t
if he wants to cast spells again.
- Okay.
I like it.
- Yeah.
- So they're like, oh, this is a very-
(soft ringing)
- Yes.
This is a big win for the Hungry One,
and I just wanna call that out right now.
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
Can't hear his beautiful voice anymore.
(all laughing)
- You still have a bonus action,
and if you have any movement over 30,
then you have that also.
- Yeah.
sh*t. Okay.
I am, technically, I
look like Master Porrum.
What do the other Saprophians think?
Are they clocking me as
an enemy when I emerged?
- Make a perception check.
- Every time.
Seven.
- Seven.
- Eight.
- Hard to tell.
You are very much visually
a member of the Architects.
- Cool.
Then I'm gonna risk it for the biscuit
and just try to use-
(all laughing)
Really 'cause there's actually
a biscuit and that's bad now.
- That's amazing. That is amazing.
- And use my bonus action to Dash.
- All right.
- And just try to see
if I can go through undeterred.
- Through over here?
So this is a very clustered space.
I will say it's an acrobatics check
to try and continue through your friends
without knocking into any of them.
- Okay.
Oh no.
11.
- 11.
You leap, land, and as you
hit the partially rotted bagel
You leap, land, and as you
hit the partially rotted bagel
that catches your feet
crumbles as you slip and tumble
into the rot below.
- Oh no.
- You hit and figure, okay,
I can turn this around,
and as you try and roll,
it is a thick, sticky pit.
All of this is being cultivated,
and it has almost a tar-like
quality, and it begins to burn.
- Oh no.
- [Matt] That's gonna finish Karna's turn.
Amangeaux, you're up.
- Okay.
Here is what I would like to do.
- Yes.
- I would like to get
to somewhere where I can see the scene,
and I think I saw enough of,
'cause we were right next to each other,
right behind each other, I saw enough
of her attempting to go and then tip over.
- You didn't see her do that at all.
- [Anjali] I didn't see her do that? Okay.
- You saw her rush in, and
you start to rush in past.
You get in five, 10, 15, 20,
25, 30 feet to get there.
- Okay.
- And only at that sight
do you see her just now
plummeting into the pit.
Great. That's enough for me.
- Yeah.
- So with one action, I'm gonna say
- So with one action, I'm gonna say
into this m*therf*cker's head
it's time you were eaten.
It's time something was done by the Bulb.
I can't think of anything cool to say.
(Matt laughing)
And then I cast Tasha's Mind Whip on him.
- Ooh, mind whip. All right.
Is that a intelligence save, wisdom?
- It is an intelligence save of 15.
- 15.
Oh, natural four. That's not gonna do it.
- [Anjali] All right, 3d6 damage.
- Go ahead and roll that up.
- Three, six, nine, 14.
- 14.
You see all of a sudden
goes to reach for the head,
but arms can't get over the biscuit.
And he's just like (grunting).
- And then, I saw her fall-
- A bit of gravy
come drooling out of the nose.
- Oh. Sorry not sorry.
I am going to additionally
use my Dash action
to try to get somewhere near
enough to her but on that-
Is there enough room on that platform
for me to get near to her?
- There is, because that's
where she was trying to get.
- Yeah, dude.
- But once again,
you have to make an acrobatics
check to get across.
- Just roll better.
- So you just
kind of rushed in, and
you're leaping past a bunch
of people that are kind of
blocking most of the platform.
- Karna just yells high knees.
- And I couldn't get to there
and to carrot boy, right?
That's too much movement?
- If you roll high enough, maybe.
- Can I still reach her
from carrot boy's platform?
- No.
You have to choose either
to go after carrot boy
or try and eventually help a friend.
- I will eventually help a
friend because I love her.
- Aw.
- She doesn't know that,
but I will prove it.
Oh, no, I won't.
It's a 13.
- A 13.
- Join me, b*tch.
- You leap to go help
her, and your feet hit
the next section of the same platform
that is also extremely fragile.
It's almost like it's been molding.
It crumbles again, and you help her
by making her not feel so alone
as you too stumble into the mold below.
- Delissandro is going crazy
as he watches both his friends
come to stand beside and, wait, again?
Oh sh*t.
- They should put up cones.
They should put up cones.
- I think I see you
coming and I go, no, no.
Aw.
(all laughing)
- All right.
So I'm in there. I can
at least talk to her.
- [Aabria] Hey, how's
it going? It's bad here.
- I'm gonna say just, use my shoulders.
Climb up.
- What? No.
We'll do this together.
- Come on.
- Why did you do exactly what I did?
- I didn't mean to. I was trying to help.
- [Aabria] Christ.
- Every time I try
to do something cool-
- No, you're doing great.
- We got a lot of people on this bagel.
- I hurt a biscuit.
(Matt chuckling)
- With that, the still standing
untouched Saprophian warrior
back there with a massive,
molded section of waffle
that's jammed into the back of its armor,
this horned skull that's
placed upon its front,
and these pauldrons made
of long strips of meat
that is beginning to gray and liquefy,
has this large, would
have been a Candian ax,
but you can see across it has
grown this milky white fuzz
that goes across the blade,
and it's going to, with reach,
move forward and strike down
towards you, Amangeaux.
- Oh no.
- Woof, to try and hit you.
You are technically prone from the fall,
so that's advantage on the hit.
- Ah sh*t.
- Silvery Barbs.
Silvery Barbs.
- Oh.
- You do have a reaction.
I love the Silvery Barbs.
- Silvery Barbs.
- I knew it was coming.
I knew she was going down.
- This is wild.
- That is going to be a 15.
- Does not hit.
(Matt imitates ax whooshing)
You just manage to pull away.
A bit of the mold and
weird tar-like substance
snaps off your shoulder where it held you,
and it ends up getting stuck in there.
The Saprophian kind of has to try
and yank to pull its ax
back, which it can't do
at the moment.
- I just look. I'm like, look, a ladder.
This is why we just wait.
- This is great.
We wait, and we'll climb it.
- Let's grab it.
Let's grab it.
- And with this, Mr. Fontina
immediately takes nine points
of poison damage from the mold and fungus
that is now burning into his body.
He's like (groaning) is going
to attempt to break free
of it.
- Does he get the necrotic damage too?
- [Matt] Oh, and the
necrotic damage, yeah.
Roll that for me.
- One.
- Okay. There we go.
- It's something. It's something.
- He's already looking a bit harsh.
He's like (groaning) I mean,
to be fair, he looked really
harsh when you got here,
and now it just fits him better.
Everything looks bad.
And you can see the mold's
spreading across his chin,
and he's like (groaning).
I'm used to this. I'm cheese.
And he tries to pull free, and he can't.
He rolled really poorly
on his strength save
to free himself from the mold.
He's gonna reach into his boot dagger and
(imitates dagger
whooshing) chuck it at you.
That's gonna be a 19 to hit.
- That hits.
- That's gonna be seven
points of piercing damage.
- No.
- As the blade
(imitates dagger whooshing)
kind of hits you in the side
of the chest.
It sticks in, and the voice
from down there goes like,
oh, you were always a problem.
- Oh.
I'm gonna be your final problem.
(Matt laughing)
- [Aabria] Yeah.
- Remember your four temp HP.
- Yes, I included that.
- Oh, that's right.
We have that.
- Yes, yes, yes.
And you got it as well.
- Yeah, thank you.
- This freaky, naked carrot
fanatic just goes for the Bulb!
(Matt shouting)
And is gonna go ahead and leap down.
- [Aabria] Why?
- Leap down?
- [Anjali] Oh why?
- Yeah, it's a fanatic.
And it's going to leap down towards you,
Amangeaux, to try and, blade ready,
put his weight onto yours.
- No.
- I need you to make a
dexterity saving throw
at disadvantage because
you are currently held down
by this to see if you can roll out
from being pinned under it.
- Matt out here getting wild.
- Yeah.
- Dexterity saving throw?
- Yes.
- That's a six.
- Nope.
That's gonna give you disadvantage
for any strength checks
to try and absolve yourself from this mold
until he is slain or removed.
- Mother-
- And he gets
an attack on you with the blade,
which is gonna be a 22.
- Yeah, he hits.
- All right.
You take seven points of slashing damage
as he's now on top of your body and just
(imitates blade scraping) drives it down
in a big arc that cuts across your chest,
almost into your right forearm,
and you are still burning
back against this mold
with its weight now pushing down on you,
which makes it burn even more.
(Matt hissing)
- I can take it.
- That finishes their turn.
We are back to the top, and
it's now this f*ck's turn,
who's going to and step forward
out onto this tiny, little bridge.
(soft ringing)
As he carefully emerges from
the silence and is like going.
(soft ringing continues)
- You'll learn the-
Oh, thank goodness.
(all laughing)
But he does have to make
a dexterity saving throw
as he moves across that
to maintain his standing,
which he actually succeeds
with a natural 15.
- Can I see him?
- [Matt] Yes, you can.
- Silvery Barbs.
- [Anjali] Yay.
- You're like (grunting)
you just glance over
and watch him begin.
You just see the top of
this biscuit kind of emerge
over the platform that's above.
Oh, finally. I'll show them.
- You're top-heavy.
- A natural two.
I'll show them the glory and might of the-
No!
(all laughing)
- Wildly unsafe down here. Railings.
Signs.
- Cones.
- Get cones. More cones.
- He tumbles into the rot pit below.
- Yeah.
- Oh!
(sizzling sound)
Save me, Bulb, save me.
- I hate it.
I should've cast the Silence different.
- A piercing howl.
(all laughing)
A little blood trickles out of-
(Matt laughing)
- Deli thinks if this guy had
the true speak of the Bulb,
I might've paid attention.
- Raphaniel's thinking the exact opposite.
They're letting this m*therf*cker
in the Sanctus Putris
and I can't get an interview?
- It's 'cause he's hot.
(all laughing)
- Pretty privilege. Oh no.
- Pretty privilege is
real. Look at that biscuit.
What that gravy do?
- What that gravy do?
- He falls into the pit and is like, ugh.
Bulb, help me.
Present them to their
final, eternal torment.
And as he reaches a hand
out, I'm gonna need Raphaniel
and Colin to make wisdom
saving throws for me.
- No.
- Babies.
- Both of my friends.
- That was a six.
- Uh-oh.
Let's go, besties.
- That's a 10.
- Both of you feel this
presence of a dark miracle,
- Both of you feel this
presence of a dark miracle,
some sort of divine energy seems to pull
out of the air, and then
sink into your body.
And with that, your muscles
immediately pulse intense,
and you are both held for the time being.
- [Aabria] Oh fun.
- That's gonna end his go.
Colin, it's your turn.
You are currently paralyzed.
You are unable to move, as
your father is burning below,
your blade drawn, angry, and
(grunting) you can't quite
go beyond whatever is
holding you in this space.
- It's like a nightmare where
I'm sleeping and I can't move.
(Matt laughing)
- I would like you to
make another saving throw
at the end of your turn, wisdom.
- 18.
- Okay.
You manage to shrug off the effect.
So, while you lose this
turn, you now are back
to your full facility.
And that brings us to
Raphaniel with Deli on deck.
Make another save yourself, buddy.
- That's gonna be a 20.
- A 20.
Sure enough, both of you take a moment
and (grunting) push this influence off,
but you did lose your turn,
but you are now back to as you were.
(Brennan grunting)
- He's not, I mean, it's
sort of that hot blindness.
(Brennan laughing)
- I know.
- [Matt] Delissandro.
- My skald is in danger.
What's the nature of
helping them out of the tar?
- You would use your action to go ahead
and give a strength saving throw
for them to pull them free.
- Great.
- You would do it
with disadvantage to pull free Amangeaux
because there is a dude on top of her,
or you could k*ll the dude,
and then she could do it
without disadvantage.
- I'm gonna use my action
to help, skald, up.
And I would like to
attempt to assist Karna.
I'll then Action Surge and
I will attack the carrot.
- You got it.
So go ahead and roll a
strength saving throw for Karna
with your strength save.
- Great.
A 14.
- 14. 12 is the DC.
So with that, you pull
Karna up from the fungus
before it can properly
sink into your chili flesh.
There we go.
- [Aabria] I think, in your
battle focus, you don't see
the giant, shiny, puppy dog eyes
that are being thrown your way.
- But I do.
- Pull you up, and then
immediately, I'm looking
at the frenzied carrot.
And then, I'm going to attack the carrot.
- [Matt] Go for it.
- That'll be a 27.
- That definitely hits.
- And I'd like to make that
a Pushing Attack as well,
if I can, to move the
carrot off of Amangeaux.
- Yeah, by all means.
- [Anjali] Thank you.
- So that's a DC 17 strength saving throw.
- Not with a natural one.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- And we'll do 12 plus seven
equals 19 points of damage
to the carrot with the first attack.
Second attack.
Does a dirty 20 hit?
- Technically, you have
advantage on these,
'cause he's prone,
'cause he jumped on top
of her to get there.
- Oh, that's right.
- That first one
wasn't a nat 20.
The second one was a dirty 20.
18.
- Definitely hits.
Roll damage for the second one.
- Great.
And that'll be 15 points
of damage as I stab down
on the carrot.
How's he doing?
- He's doing real bad.
And then, you push him off
into the next level of fungus
and mold.
(Matt screaming)
And he's screaming.
You watch as the mold's
burning up the side
of the body, just reaching
for that big, old, carrot dangly bush.
- [Anjali] I was wondering.
I didn't wanna say it, but it's there.
It's there. It's wide open.
- It's full display.
- [Lou] Creepy.
- Carrot Bush was my college band name.
(Matt laughing)
- And then, I'm gonna hop
over to the next bagel.
- [Matt] All right.
- Why? This bagel's great.
(all laughing)
- Well, Lady Amangeaux's
gonna need somewhere to stand.
And then, I'd like to
make a bonus action attack
with the other end of Detriter
against this Saprophian.
with the other end of Detriter
against this Saprophian.
- You got it.
- Great.
(Matt laughing)
That's only gonna be a 14 to hit.
- 14 is its Armor Class.
- Yeah.
- Baby.
- Saprophian warriors don't have
a whole lot of armor, necessarily.
It's all patchwork.
- That was a f*cking three
on the die. That's wild.
- Yeah.
- We love it.
- Let's go.
- And then, I'll make this
also a Pushing Attack,
and I'm gonna push the
Saprophian into the muck.
- Okay.
- Great.
- [Aabria] Let's go.
- Nine plus seven equals
16 points of damage.
- 16 points of damage.
You got it.
He did roll a 16 on his DC as well.
- I'm 17.
- Oh dang.
- [Lou] So I'll push him on
top of the carrot, if I can.
- Yeah, you can do that.
(Matt imitates body thudding)
It's now piled on top.
While the fungus does
not hurt the Saprophian,
the carrot is now sandwiched deeper
into the mold going (screaming)
as it's being pushed down
quite like you once were.
- Thank god.
- That's a pretty good
change of favor there.
Great. All right.
- Thank you.
- [Matt] Does that finish your turn?
- Do I have any-
You know what-
- You do have
about 20 more feet of movement.
- Can I just go kick the sh*t-
There's part of me that
just wants to go stand over
the flaky biscuit.
But I'm gonna stay safe on my bagel.
No more precarious standings.
(all laughing)
Delissandro likes that he
has both feet on the ground.
- Now that you're close enough
and looking at this platform,
you get the sense that it
could be safely crossed
at half-speed.
- Got it.
- But any faster movement
to get there and across
or to just race across it,
there will be a DC saving throw made.
- [Lou] Great.
- Alrighty.
Finishing your go, that brings us to Karna
with Amangeaux on deck.
- Yeah.
- You do not take any poison damage
'cause you were pulled
free from the fungus
before it could take hold.
- Thank you. f*ck this guy.
And we're just gonna
send two Eldritch Blasts
at the big biscuit.
- The big biscuit over here?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Okay, I will say he does have half-cover
because he is down in the fungus
between where this large
piece of rock cavern sits.
- All right.
- [Matt] Unless you wanna reposition.
- Yeah, I'll reposition.
- [Matt] Okay.
- How far can I get to get a clear shot?
We're moving that way.
- [Matt] I mean, if
you wanna go over here,
you might be able to
get a better shot there.
- [Aabria] Yeah. Let's do that.
- Okay.
Because there are other
people on this platform,
though, it does take an acrobatics check
to make sure that you don't end up-
- Thanks, Matt.
Hey, I got a natural two.
So this is gonna go
badly immediately again.
Nine.
- [Matt] Nine.
You leap over.
- Skald!
(all laughing)
What?
- I think she thinks
something's down there.
(Anjali laughing)
- It's so slippery.
(Matt chuckling)
- It's a rot cave.
- Goddammit.
- Raphaniel's yelling at this biscuit.
Hey, man, it's really unsafe down here.
(Matt giggling)
I know you're making these tunnels
for spycrafting or whatever.
These tunnels f*cking suck, okay?
It's not safe to be down here.
- Just like a rope or something.
(all laughing)
- A rope, a railing, a platform, anything.
Signs.
- However, you're
in the fungus, and you
have a direct line of sight
on him down there with you.
- Oh, that's fun.
How bad could it hurt down here?
I'm gonna hit him.
- Okay.
So you're taking the
Eldritch Blasts anyways?
- [Aabria] Yeah, we'll take 'em.
- All right.
He gets no AC bonus from this,
so go ahead and take both strikes.
- This is stupid.
These better be good rolls.
A natural f*cking-
I'm f*cking done with you. Go away.
One of 'em was a 14 to hit.
- 14 does hit.
That's exactly his AC.
- Disgusting.
Seven points of force damage.
- [Matt] How do you wanna do this?
- Oh sh*t!
- Yay.
- Yeah. We softened him up.
- Yup.
Because he had already taken a few hits.
(Aabria laughing)
- Well, then, we're gonna use
all of this to save status.
This is less about how I k*ll him
and how I make it look
like I did this on purpose.
(Lou laughing)
As she slides down and just
kinda leans through the muck
and points a finger, and what I want
is for all of the gross, nasty
tendrils of tar-like mold
is for all of the gross, nasty
tendrils of tar-like mold
to begin to vibrate and make
that quivering hunger sound
as the last thing he hears
is the roiling stomach
of the Hungry One.
- You got that.
You watch as she deftly lands,
and then kind of shoulder rolls
into the mess you had just freed her from.
In that brief moment that you
wonder what are you doing,
you watch, she gets down like a sn*per.
You hear the sound of
sizzling that's (hissing)
as the mold begins to burn into her body,
and she doesn't give a sh*t.
She just reaches forward
and grasps her fist,
and you hear the screams.
Oh no!
(Aabria laughing)
- Just blood.
- Exactly.
- As the (croaking) begins to echo
through that part of the chamber.
And all of you hear this reverberate
within the cavern, suddenly,
uncertain of the source.
But it goes from this
high-pitched, terrifying whine
to a low-pitched, terrifying rumble
as the mold begins to swell up
and carry him down with this
horrible, burning sound.
The biscuit is no more.
- Deli, I just wanna-
I did this on purpose,
and I didn't fall twice.
- Skald, well done.
- 'Kay, thanks.
(Matt laughing)
- [Matt] Finishing Karna's turn.
Amangeaux, you're up.
- Yeah, I did not do this on purpose.
- At the top of your turn,
since you are still down there,
you take six points of poison damage.
(Matt imitates poison sizzling)
- I don't like it.
Are there any more bad guys alive up here?
- There's the carrot dude
who's still down there
right next to you, and is sandwiched.
And then, there is the Saprophian
that got pushed onto him.
- Can I get any help by
using them as a stepstool?
- Yeah, if you wanna try.
Go ahead and make an athletics check.
- 16?
- 16.
So what this means is
you can help to use them
as a handhold to get up.
You still have to make
a strength saving throw,
but you get advantage because
of the athletics check
you just succeeded.
- 19 plus-
- Oh yeah.
Without issue.
You reach out and grab the
side of the carrot's face
and kind of claw a bit.
Reach up and grab the Saprophian's armor.
Put your foot on the side
of the bagel platform and
(grunting) lift yourself up.
- And I yell down at the carrot, consent.
You didn't ask for consent.
- That's valid.
Do you want to go onto the
platform you were just on,
or the one across this way?
- I wanna go to the emptier one where-
- [Matt] That's where Deli is?
- [Anjali] Where Deli is, yes.
- [Matt] So you pick up right there
on that side of the platform.
- Hey, it's slippery on that pretzel.
Just a thought.
(Matt laughing)
I did this on purpose, but I
just want you to be careful.
- That was-
Do I have a bonus action?
Do I have anything?
- That was your action to get up there
and to free yourself from that.
You have a bonus action still.
- Is there anything I can
do to help you get up?
- I don't need help.
I did this on purpose.
- I know you did.
- And I meant to, but thank you.
- I'm gonna say telepathically,
do you need help, are you-
- No, this is good, actually. I want it.
- I had a feeling.
- No, I k*lled the guy.
- I know. You did a very good job.
- I don't need your-
- Chopping him up was
very fun with his brain.
I'm done.
- Okay.
Finishing your go, the Saprophian warrior
that's currently on the ground
is gonna try and get itself up off of-
Fails its strength save and
just is now like (groaning).
Kind of just flailing on
top of the carrot like oh.
(Matt coughing)
From there, it brings it to
the carrot and your father.
The carrot is gonna try and
free itself with disadvantage
since it's kinda sandwiched in between.
That's better.
Okay. Okay.
The carrot does manage to squeeze free
from underneath the
Saprophian and get back up
onto the platform between the two of you.
It does, however, as
it's getting up there,
take, oh, that's 12
points of poison damage.
- And does it enter my
reach when it comes-
(Aabria gasping)
- [Anjali] Attack, please.
- [Matt] It does.
- I'd like to use an opportunity attack.
- Yes, you may.
- Let's go.
- That's gonna be a 30 to hit or,
excuse me, a 29 to hit.
- That definitely hits.
- Oh my god.
- Oh, good.
- The naked carrot?
(Matt laughing)
- Hit him right in his carrot cakes, bro.
- Yes.
- And that's gonna be 13
more points of damage.
- Oh, how do you wanna do this?
- Yeah!
- Yes.
- I think, honestly, it's
not even intentional,
but it's straight through the bush.
(all laughing)
And then up.
- How is it not intentional?
- You like crotch Sephiroth'd him?
Okay.
(all laughing)
- He's just holding him.
- He's going (shrieking).
He's just screaming at you.
(Matt and Lou screaming)
- And then.
- Can I see that miniature real quick?
- [Matt] Yes, you may.
- Really upsetting.
- Oh, it's a carrot upside-
Oh god. Rick, you nasty, Rick.
- That's very funny.
- Rick, we all know.
We all know.
(Lou laughing)
We all know, Rick.
(Matt laughing)
- I think Colin is completely focused
on getting revenge on his father,
but his eyes do dart a little, like-
(all laughing)
Oh my god.
- Wow.
- Whoa.
- Raphaniel,
right next to you, is like,
I think it's just pubes.
(Matt laughing)
- It's mostly.
- It's certainly mostly,
but I think it might be all.
(Matt chuckling)
- So that finishes its turn.
Your father's going to attempt
to free himself from there,
does roll better this
time, and crawls back
up onto the middle of this platform.
However, crawling back up
(grunting) the hood's off,
and you can see the head
itself, there's chunks missing.
There's heavy melted elements
that just kind of sweep down,
glances at you with the
one partially clouded eye
with the blade out and just goes,
you know we've been watching you.
That's how they found you.
And you've made us proud.
- I feel like honor skips a generation.
- Ooh.
That's good.
- And he's gonna attempt
to come at you.
- Well done.
- Does he enter my range?
- [Matt] Yes.
- I'm gonna use a Maneuver to use Brace
and attack him as he enters my range.
- Go for it. Yeah.
- Come on, Provolone.
- Okay, that's only a 12.
- 12, unfortunately, that misses.
You go and try and brace for it,
and he just lunges
forward with more strength
and speed than you
expected for his physical,
current state, but you
see there's an element
of fanaticism and drive
behind his clouded eye.
He comes in to try and stab
you with his blade for,
that's gonna be a 16 to hit?
- Misses.
- Misses.
You both just kind of collide.
Both blades going wide off of the armor,
and you just kind of
going wide into the cloak,
and you're almost in an embrace,
which does not feel good at all.
- This is-
Yeah, so this is, I've never
gotten a hug from my dad,
and this is not the-
(Lou laughing)
- [Anjali] Something's gonna happen.
- Alrighty.
That brings us back to the top.
Colin, it's your turn.
- I'm not gonna do a
Maneuver like Push Attack,
but I just wanna try to
push him into the mycelium.
- Yeah. Make an athletics check.
- Athletics check will be a 24.
- Natural eight for a 10 on his end.
- So I just wanna go with him into it
to push him into the burning mushroom.
- Okay. He falls back.
There is one of the worker Saprophians
that has a partially
gathered satchel on the side
that's kind of backing up against the wall
and just watching as you land
down on top of your father
and just push all the weight you can.
And as he falls back
in, he's like (groaning)
and you see the black
mold crawling up his face
and taking root (imitates mold sizzling).
- I don't know why they
didn't finish the job,
but I think we gotta finish burning you.
(Zac laughing)
(Matt laughing)
- Oh my god.
- He's just kinda like (groaning).
- I did a shove attack that time.
Can I do a regular attack or do I-
- Yeah, you still have your extra attack.
Is this one of your attacks?
- Yeah, yeah.
A nat one.
- Oh no.
(all laughing)
- I don't wanna get burned.
(all laughing)
- Your weight's still on top.
He is very, very heavily hurt.
And as you all kind of take in the shift
in fortunes of this current gathering,
by the time we come back around,
that's an additional nine
points of poison damage
to your father.
By the time we come through
the next round of initiative.
As you hold him down, you watch
as the burning takes hold.
The rest of his face beginning to melt
as the dark black fuzz takes over.
The last thing his mouth
mutter before he goes is
I'm still proud.
- Wow.
That's f*cked.
(all laughing)
Can I see if he has any sort
of family heirlooms on him
that I can try to grab?
I don't know if he would
still have anything like that.
- Sure.
We'll say at this point
the Saprophian guard,
the one that is pushed in there,
kind of seeing it doesn't
have anyone to listen to
at the moment, kind of stands down,
and just kind of falls in
line with the other workers
and starts pretending like
it's collecting with them.
(Aabria laughing)
- I kind of like it.
- That's fine.
- Well, can't knock the hustle.
- Never loved attacking these guys anyway.
- I didn't either.
- You kind of go through
his things the best you can.
You find his blade.
You find a number of other
hidden daggers on it.
You do see a small chain around his neck
that contains just a
single piece of cheese
that contains just a
single piece of cheese
impressed into it, like
a gentle little cut
of a block of cheese.
You're not sure what it
means, but he keeps it on him.
- I just rip it off his
neck and try to get out
as unscathed as I can from this position.
- Yeah, with your friends able
to help you at this point,
they can help pull you up out of it.
And you all stand kind
of over this rot pit,
taking a breath.
Nobody got away.
And you, you know, took a
few hits here and there,
but you have a moment to recover and-
- Mostly to our egos.
- True enough.
What would you like to do now
in this moment of silence?
- I'm not good at Nature, but
I am interested in this pit.
And the luminous thing
that your dad had on him,
can we take that off of his body?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It actually fell on the further platform.
So without the clustering and chaos of it,
you can kind of carefully
leap from platform to platform
and grab it.
It looks kinda like a
small, un-popped kernel
of corn almost, but it
has a warm glow to it.
And as you glance at the exterior,
there are all these sacred
rites carved into it
that are taken from the Book of Leaves.
- Do you know what this is?
- If I can, I'll make
a Religion check here.
- Yes, please.
Religion or Arcana, your choice.
- I think, for me, I'll go Religion.
But I'll also-
- Can I help?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.
Amangeaux gives help.
- I'm just gonna be over your shoulder.
- I would give myself
inspiration, but cannot.
- [Anjali] I do not have the option.
- No worries.
Here we go.
- Didn't do it.
Or did not roll very high.
14?
- 14's still not too bad.
And you particularly
being the one doing this,
you recognize this as an uncommon relic
within the Bulbian Church.
It's used for pilgrims,
missionaries when they're going
to places of, where
Bulbian light cannot reach.
It is referred to as a shard of the Bulb.
And here is its capability.
- Yay.
- Ooh.
- You also note-
- Give it to me.
- As you lift it up
and kind of look at it,
the Saprophians that are kind of working
along the nearby wall,
they retract and wince
at the presentation of it to the air.
- [Anjali] Aw.
Babies.
- Can I insight check
their reaction to it?
- [Matt] Yes, you may.
- Passive insight is a 20,
'cause I know I'm gonna roll like sh*t.
21, actually.
- So there you go.
You rolled pretty well.
Their reaction is that
of fear and past trauma.
- Aw.
- Okay.
But it's not like a
physical reaction to it?
Just a conditioned one?
- A conditioned one.
Something that's been pressed upon them.
- [Aabria] Copy. All right.
- Do we think we could use that to-
I mean-
- To cow the other ones?
Yeah.
- No.
- Yes. We can.
- No.
- No.
- If-
- We can do that.
We don't have to, but we can.
- Lady Amangeaux, not in perpetuity,
simply while we travel
within these dark tunnels.
- All right.
- No, no.
I don't know. Yeah.
- He's gonna do something weird to it.
- Only in this endeavor.
- I don't know if it was
clear, but that was my dad.
(all laughing)
- Oh. Oh.
- Oh.
- I didn't know why you were
taking that so personally.
- I k*lled him. Yeah.
- Wow. Are you okay?
- He's a b*stard,
and I f*cking hated him, but, you know.
I thought he was dead, and I just thought
he was a guy in the tunnel and then-
- Yeah.
- f*cking, he's also my dad.
So.
- Oh.
- I'm gonna sit for a second.
- Yeah, do you need something?
Do you want some water?
- Yeah, I want a glass of water.
- Yeah.
- Do you need a hug?
- Sure.
- Okay. I give him a hug.
- You know, it rarely comes up.
I am a priest, if you wanna talk or.
- You're holding a couple
of heads right now.
- And is your father's head fully gone or?
- I think it's pretty submerged.
- Pretty submerged? Too deep in there?
- There's probably some chunks in there.
- Raphaniel, Raphaniel.
- No, no, no.
That was just very sad, your daddy.
Ooh.
I'm just gonna take my crozier
and just sort of root around in there.
- I guess I do wanna
kind of talk if you're-
- Yeah. That's what I'm saying.
You know, and that's the
amazing thing about necromancy
is it's not just, you
know, skeletons and stuff.
It's closure, you know?
(all laughing)
Imagine actually being able
to say how you really feel.
So we gotta find some bones.
(Matt laughing)
- Amazing.
- I'll root around in the fungus,
see how many priest bones I can find.
- Okay. Make an
Investigation check for me.
- Come on, Raphaniel.
- Is the biscuit man's big spear thing
available for grabbing?
- If you want to try and wade
down into it to look for it.
- Can I use mage hand to
root around a little bit?
- You can see it, but like a lot of things
that fall into it, it is
a very sticky substance.
Mage hand doesn't have the
strength to withdraw it.
So you'd have to kind of get in there.
- Deli, can you hold my foot or something?
I'm gonna go get this big stick.
- Of course.
- Cool.
(Aabria grunting)
- Just hold you upside down.
- [Matt] So what'd you
roll for Investigation?
- 19.
- 19.
You do manage to find the
upper part of the skull.
It's already heavily rooted with fungus.
- Ew.
(Brennan cackling)
- More secrets.
And what was your father's name?
(Aabria laughing)
- Fontini.
- Fontini.
And, you know, feelings
can be complicated.
Family's hard.
- Yeah.
- And we're going to
remember that just because-
- Stop shaking it as much.
- What's that?
Oh-
- The jaw's kinda hanging off.
- There's still a lot of flesh on there.
- Gosh, oh yeah, let me just, here.
- Just if you have any-
- No.
- Oh.
- No.
That's part of the spell.
It's part of the spell.
I'm not just being weird.
- Is there anything about
grief that you could tell me?
- Yeah.
Grief is, you know, and
what is grief if not,
what's the, you know?
- Don't ask me, man.
- No, but the thing about, when we...
If you lose what you love,
then haven't you lost what you had?
- I'm gonna keep going down the tunnel.
(Matt laughing)
- It's been so long
since I actually had
to do any ministerial-
And I'll put his dad's
fractured skull into my bag.
- Okay.
You place it in there as
you see the exposed elements
of the cheese bone and kind of rotted,
crumbled bits of his flesh.
And just kind of (imitates
flesh squelching).
Tearing flesh viscera, red,
blood splatter, black void,
take, tear, ruin, nothing void, red blood.
- A library of skulls
vaster than the wide sea.
(Brennan laughing)
Sorry.
Sorry, just, that would be crazy.
- Hey, Deli.
(all laughing)
- Yeah.
- [Anjali] As he's
holding her upside down.
- I'm just trying to get
out of that conversation.
- Oh, you did wanna talk?
Oh, that's fine.
Skald, how are you doing down there?
- I'm great. You can have your moment.
f*ck.
- You pull it free.
And as you pull it free,
you see this is a carved,
intricate staff of the Bulbian Church.
It's been adjusted. It's been altered.
There is a unique property to its apex.
There are these bladed
spikes that stick out.
Unable to ascertain what
the nature of them are,
but they have a metallic sheen to them,
but you're not sure what type
of food steel it might be.
You can make an investigation
check, if you'd like.
- Yeah.
- Can I help her?
- Upside down investigation check.
- Do you wanna help?
- I wanna help her.
- Sure.
- Thank you,
'cause that was a natural-
Natural 20.
- Yeah, baby.
- Thank you.
- Natural 20.
You've never seen this metal before.
It's not food steel.
It just looks like a steel.
- What is metal that isn't food-
This is great, and I
just wiggle and be like,
pull me up, pull me up.
This is great.
(Lou grunting)
Have you seen this before?
- Have I seen steel like that before?
- No.
Look, there's no texture
or striation to it.
There's no coloring.
It is just like a gentle
graphite smoothness.
- I'm going to look at it.
(Aabria chuckling)
- Oh no.
(Matt imitates air whooshing)
- Tear, render, flesh,
stir, cut, cut, tear,
ruin, break, send them
away, bury, gone, sundered,
gone, black void, metal teeth.
- Delissandro.
What is that that your wonderful skald
has recovered from the fungus?
- This used to be the staff
of the biscuit priest.
- Extraordinary.
And what sort of food steel
would you say that is?
- None that I would recognize.
- May I hold it?
- Oh, I do not let it go.
That's not his choice.
- Because I'm reading their
lips from across the way-
- [Matt] Which you can do.
- And I just say to Deli, don't.
Do not.
Do not let him have it.
- I guess I put a soft hand on your chest.
- Your Eminence, it's time for
someone to take care of you.
For once, trust me.
- Are you not at all interested
in the manner of my
recognition of this material?
I am seeking to find more answers,
as are we all here, in
the pit of the earth.
I have seen this metal before, many times.
If you have some vision into its nature,
by all means, share.
If not, having seen it in
my dreams these long years,
If not, having seen it in
my dreams these long years,
I would ask of you to
allow me to investigate it.
There are few answers we
have here all together
with all of the shadows moving around us.
I do not think now is the time to abstain
from further knowledge.
- I'm going to, not take it from you,
but, I think, take my hand off your chest
and encourage you to come closer.
- I would like to investigate this.
- Go ahead and roll for me.
You have advantage because of
the nature of your connection.
- [Aabria] Throw you a Bardic.
- You're throwing me a Bardic on that?
- [Aabria] Yeah.
- D6?
- Mm-hmm.
- Two.
31.
- You look at this metal.
You kind of reach out and touch it,
and you, who have spent your entire life
stepping through the
supposed light of the Bulb,
and your heart withdrawn
from the true belief
that you present the world around you,
you've seen the miracles happen.
You know that the Bulb exists,
or at least the will of
its power has been seen.
You've also been present to
other, darker alternatives.
The rumbles, the growls, the
shadows of the Hungry One
present themselves on the outskirts
of the societies of
Calorum across its way.
Through all your years, the coldness,
the nothingness, the uncaring,
alien, outside source
the nothingness, the uncaring,
alien, outside source
of this metal sits beyond
the cycle of this world.
Sits beyond the scriptures,
beyond the history.
And you know that you've been
touched by it all this time.
You hear once more in your mind, Deus.
- Again.
Say it again.
- It's at this point you realize
that it's one of the
nearby worker Saprophians.
Deus.
The spores you inhaled
earlier last for an hour.
And so as you turn around
and focus, you hear,
Deus, I've heard them say.
- Deus?
- Some prepare.
They say it's part of why
we help who they ask us.
They say it's part of why
we help who they ask us.
They say Deus-Pa'Zuul.
- Deus-Pa'Zuul?
- And the Saprophian
kind of leans forward.
I don't think I was supposed to hear.
They talk of the w*r above with our elder.
They talk of the w*r above with our elder.
Our elder made a deal for
the good of all of Saprophus.
Our elder made a deal for
the good of all of Saprophus.
It's why we toil all the time.
- Your people pre-existed.
You are of Calorum, as are we.
The elders of the
Sanctus Putris found you,
bent you to their will with these,
and I'll produce the shard.
- It kind of recoils.
- Hide it again.
- They'd say it helps us all.
That we help avert an end to all.
That we help avert an end to all.
- I'm gonna speak to Karna in her mind.
It is not their end to avert.
- Another one steps from the far corner
that was working and kind
of joins the conversation.
Our sacred seclusion was breached.
But they promised prosperity,
a windfall of decay, of nutrients
to empower the mycelium and
our people for generations.
to empower the mycelium and
our people for generations.
Great comfort rewarded in aiding them
and stopping cataclysm.
We don't trust surface folk.
But the elder is strong.
The elder is the voice of the heart.
- Where is your elder now?
- All the Saprophians
in the room look back
towards the tunnel
where the delightful biscuit was standing.
- Should we continue?
- Should we go say hello?
- I think we should.
And I'll look at that piece of steel
and clutch it just to the point
where I can feel it start
to pierce my radishy skin
in my hand.
- And I'll just put my
hand on your forearm.
- It wouldn't be the first time,
just the first time it
happened outside my mind.
Further in?
To the heart, to the elder.
- Hey, everyone. Watch your step.
This is actually a very slippery-
- It's very, very slippery.
(Matt laughing)
- No, I went on purpose, but it could be-
- I caught a heel on it.
- Yeah.
- It's very-
- With the remaining spores
I have, I'll be like, you should consider
putting some kind of, again, railing.
- Yeah.
- This is not-
- Not actually what we have
to worry about, you know?
We kind of subsist it quite often.
Not our fault that your
fragile flesh meat-
- All right, well, I can-
- He seems to be being dismissive and-
- Yeah.
Oh, trust me, he's being very dismissive.
These Saprophians never go
out and have a few drinks
and have a hard time getting back home.
It's incredibly dangerous in here.
- Do you want to hold the staff?
- Is the whole staff made of the steel or?
- No.
It is, indeed, a Bulbian Church staff.
But at the top, it's
almost like this metal
has grown from it, like
it's pierced the symbol
of the Bulb at the top, and
emerged in an unnatural way.
- And does the staff
seem otherwise magical?
- No. Just a symbol.
- I'll look at you in your mind and say,
I care only for the substance
growing from the end.
If you wish to keep the staff,
but I would treasure that substance.
- It's been so long since
we've had a good trade.
- I'll take the shard of the Bulb and.
- You insult me.
I have been an information
broker my whole life.
What was the lie that got
you here with us, Raphaniel?
And this is in my mind.
- I'll look at you and
say, when I told you
the child could not be the heir
to the throne of Greenhold,
it was not a calculation
of dates and calendar.
- Understood.
And I'm gonna flip the
spear down and step on it
to shatter off the rest of
the spear away from the metal
and just hand him the metal.
- [Matt] You got it.
- No more herbal tea.
I'm gonna stick with coffee from now on.
(Matt chuckling)
(Aabria laughing)
- Do you continue further down the tunnel?
Do you do so stealthily
as a group or boldly?
- Stealth, stealth, stealth.
- Stealth, stealth, stealth.
- I would like a group stealth check,
please, if you don't mind.
- Okay.
Come on, little guys.
We can do this again.
- Oh, that's a natural 20.
- [Aabria] Let's go.
- 22.
- All right.
- 27.
- Oh my goodness. All right.
- 24.
- Wow, holding us back with a 17.
- That's still not bad.
- [Aabria] Aw, that's great.
(Anjali imitates air whooshing)
- We blend into the walls.
- That is incredible.
You all now, as a unit, communicating
some with just eyes, some with thoughts
that don't need to use
lips to be brought forth,
you continue to plunge deeper and deeper
down this network of tunnels.
You pass numerous splinters
that go to different portions
of the surface, and you see many of them,
many more are all focused
around the base of Pangranos.
There is definitely a focus
of this recent expansion
of the under hollows to
push northward and upward.
of the under hollows to
push northward and upward.
The fungus continues to grow ever brighter
as the mycelium itself
continues to fill the entirety
of this ground cavern structure.
This beautiful almost starscape around you
embedded in the Ceresian dirt greets you
as you begin to find the
tunnels expand into streets
and homes, doorways and windows.
There are gates of stone
crafted from the carved chunks
of Ceresian masonry that
were scavenged in the night
and pulled down below.
You begin to see various
civilians not working the fields,
but just living.
This is the beginning of Saprophus.
This is the home of the
seventh kingdom of Calorum.
- The seventh kingdom of Calorum.
- Wow.
Wow, wow.
- Saprophus.
- Wow, wow.
- I'm gonna look around
and say it's always
the bread that goes first.
(all laughing)
- Continuing down mostly unseen,
the only ones that catch
mind of your presence
are other Saprophian civilians,
a small child cap who glances out
and look and retract, and
just watch as you go by.
Occasionally, some armored warriors
begin to storm through the streets
just keeping vigilant, but you watch
as they kind of reach down
and pat the heads of other civilians.
None of them seem to catch your presence
as you move through, rapidly
darting from shadow to shadow.
You do come to one street corner
where it seems like a T formation hits.
A large central piece of hardened bread
that rises up to connotate this break.
And here you see two more cloaked figures
of the Architects, standing.
They're both having a small conversation
amongst their hoods, and
you hear one kind of mention
it seems there is some
kind of scuffle further up.
We must be ready.
It appears we might be under attack.
Let me go ahead and set
up what this looks like,
and you can decide on your approach.
- Yeah.
- Let's bring in
the next board.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- Winding through these
busied streets of Saprophus,
you approach this intersection,
seeing the two robed figures there,
and you have not been seen
coming from this direction.
How do you want to approach this,
as you have the jump on this?
- There's one right there.
- What can we see about them?
Is there any-
- Make a perception check.
- 23.
- First off, all the Saprophians you see
around here are civilians.
They're conversing, they're talking.
Some of them are just moving
in and out of their house.
They're kind of ignoring,
or at least gotten used to,
the presence of the Architects.
The two robed figures you see,
one of them, the robe is
back, and you see a large,
pointy head made of cheese and meat pizza.
The shape of the head, familiar to those
who had seen from within the
pit before previous meetings.
- That's right.
- The other, hood up,
is a small, squat entity
that has the robe over it.
Kinda almost like a barrel.
- Mm.
- And they're both having this
conversation in the street,
and one of them is
getting ready to go ahead
and start walking away this direction.
- Is there anything to trying
to tell the civilians to get inside?
Like in their minds, like you once did or?
- Yeah. I think so.
- Or is there anything to
getting one of these guys
to come our direction and taking him out?
Or beating him up for answers.
- I feel like the-
Can I make an insight check,
'cause seeing two of them there,
and Raphaniel will speak
telepathically to everybody here.
(Zac groaning)
- You'll get used to it.
- Also, in your head, you good?
- You've been doing this the whole time?
- The whole time.
- It's okay.
You'll get used to it.
- Weird.
- It's like being off the text chat
for the entire friendship,
then all of a sudden.
- f*cked up.
- That's really interesting.
- Well, that's 'cause you
needed to have the blue text,
not the red-green ones.
- You screamed when I did one magic,
so I figured I couldn't do it.
- Oh.
- Raphaniel feels pretty confident
about being able to run
up and just quickly m*rder
both these guys in the
middle of the street.
But I think that I want an insight check
on the Saprophians that are here.
Basically an insight
check like are we wasting
our f*cking time trying
to get civilians on board,
or do they seem more persuadable here
than they were in the tunnels,
and therefore, it's worth
trying rather than just
me running up and braining
one of these dudes
with my staff?
- Make an insight check.
- That's gonna be 26.
- Immediately looking through here,
their comfort level in the
presence of these Architects
means that their relationship with them
doesn't seem as strained as the ones
that were being pushed
to dig to the surface.
And even the brief conversation you had,
whatever deal was made between their elder
and the FDA has been going for some time.
And this is just kind of
the culmination of its work.
You get the sense that,
I mean, you don't know
if they're unhappy with
the deal or what they know
about what's going on, but
you do see them also working.
They're gathering things.
And while they're going about their life,
they're also getting the materials
and packing them up,
possibly to bring those
closer to the surface as well for whatever
their ultimate purpose might be.
- I really do think,
rather than k*lling them,
if we could find a way
to bring them over here,
I'm pretty sure I could get one of them.
But if we could find a
way to get them over here
and hold them to find out
what exactly this deal is.
- I turn back into Master Porrum.
- There we go.
- I like lying.
- We can duck into one
of these spaces here,
have you as Master Porrum lure them over.
- Mm-hmm, and I can use Suggestion.
- [Brennan] Great.
- You can definitely do that.
- Hell yeah.
- So you wanna find
one of these openings over
here that you can slip into?
- Before we step into it,
I'm going to hold up my ring
and say, let me see.
And I wanna see what's-
Is there family inside?
What's inside?
- Okay.
Glancing inside, you see what
looks to be a humble abode
that has a number of small sleeping cots
built of like a soft sponge material.
That's mostly it.
It's a simple life.
- They're not there.
- There's nobody there at the moment, no.
- Okay. That's what I wanted to check.
This one's open.
- Go in there first, and
I'll bring them over.
- All right.
I'll sneak in.
- [Matt] All right.
- I'm gonna hide around the corner
rather than be in there,
'cause I don't think I
can fit through that.
- Well, yeah, there's the other thing.
Yeah.
- I'll show you
kind of the space where it will be.
- [Anjali] Yeah, yeah.
If you can bring them both, then I don't-
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
Then I'll stay where I am.
- The center hole there?
- Mm-hmm.
- [Matt] Okay.
So, Colin, you're staying
around at this corner?
- Mm-hmm.
- All right.
What are the rest of you doing?
- I'll tuck inside the safe space.
- I'm going inside, yeah.
- Okay.
Stealth checks from you folks
as you now are stepping
into a more immediate
but tentatively dangerous space.
- [Anjali] Oh.
- 10.
- Six.
- All right.
You both (imitates footsteps scraping)
dart inside.
- As they are doing that,
can I stand somewhere off
with my crossbow at the ready?
- [Matt] Yes, you may.
You wanna off one of the roads up here?
- [Anjali] Even if it's around somewhere
that I can just duck out.
- No, there's plenty of nooks
and crannies you can kind of-
You're not a massive
frame like Delissandro,
so you can kind of try
and hide in that point.
But I would need you
to make a stealth check
to make sure you're not seen
hiding over there either.
- I'm not seen.
- Okay.
- That's a 27.
- Karna? What are you doing?
- I'm going to, once they're safely tucked
wherever they're gonna be,
I'm going to rock up as Master Porrum.
- Okay.
So, Colin, make a stealth check to also
kind of hide off to that corner.
- Pretty good.
That's 25.
- Okay.
- If anything goes awry, let me know.
- Just as you say that, as
Raphaniel and Delissandro go
(imitates footsteps echoing)
charging across the road,
the two cult members across the way,
the Architects, kind of go.
I think I saw something.
The pizza man kinda turns around.
Maybe call for some backup really quickly.
- I'm going to cast Suggestion
on the person that he's sending off.
- [Matt] Okay.
- And I'm going to suggest,
you know, it would be so
much better for both of us
for me to just go with him and back him up
and make sure that he doesn't-
I'm really good at this, you guys.
I come up with words well.
(all laughing)
- That's great. That's a great suggestion.
- I speak English freely.
- All right, they have to be able
to hear you and understand you.
So to do so, you would
have to shout it out loud
for them to hear.
- I can't do it in their head?
- Oh, you do have-
You know what?
For the sake of, because
you do have telepathy,
I'll allow it.
I'll allow it. Okay.
- You know what?
Should you, though?
Should you really leave?
I don't think so.
- Okay, so for that,
I'll need, because there
was a word in their head,
I'll need two rolls.
I need one roll from
you, which is deception,
and then I roll their saving throw.
Based on your deception
roll, it may or may not
give them advantage on their saving throw.
- 25.
- 25 is great.
They have to do a straight roll.
They, for the moment, consider
this as their inner voice.
(all laughing)
- Yeah.
- Huh.
And that puts them-
That's gonna be a 14?
- No, 20-
- [Matt] No, the spell DC.
- Oh, the spell DC is 15, I believe.
- 15?
- Yeah.
- Did it just fail?
- Woo!
- Love to see it.
- You are telling it to-
- I think it would be better
if you stayed by your friend,
flanked your friend.
- Okay.
Actually, I'll come with you.
And kind of walks
alongside as they both turn
and begin to walk down the street.
- I'm going to immediately
run up as Porrum.
- Okay.
As you charge up as Porrum,
rushing into the center
of the street, what do you do?
- There's been an-
What was his voice?
Who could say?
There's people coming up from the surface.
We need to talk. We have to make a plan.
Keep it quiet.
- They both kind of give you a look like,
you're supposed to be helping
out for the surface thing.
They'll be releasing it soon.
- It's getting bad. We need to talk.
And I just gesture into this room.
- Make a deception check.
- I have advantage on deception
when passing myself off
as another person, which is great,
'cause that was a natural one on the dice.
24.
- It kinda gives a look.
All right.
- Now.
- Which way?
- I just gesture to the room
where people with sticks are.
- Okay.
(Matt sighs)
Kind of walks in there.
The squatter one kind
of looks a little odd-
- After you.
- And is stepping in
after as they both kind of-
- As they walk in, I
look over at Raphaniel.
Are we attacking them?
- I'm gonna just hit
one in the f*cking head.
(all laughing)
This is the first time I've
physically attacked someone
in my life, and I turn the hoe around
to the two spiky things in the back.
And I'm just gonna try
and right to the top
of the f*cking skull, just bam.
- Go for it.
Roll an attack for me, both of you.
- I'll do bonus action.
- Two attacks for you.
- Great.
- Do bonus action, Steady Aim.
- Scream in someone's
head, just don't k*ll them.
- Just one.
- Ooh.
- [Anjali] Wow.
- Nasty.
I do not hit.
- Well, you know, it's your first time.
- Yeah, narratively, it makes sense.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- I got a 14 and a 23.
- Both hit.
- Great.
- Which one are you going after?
The pizza or the barrel?
- I think I'd like to take my first attack
on the pizza, and then, I
think if I see Raphaniel
doesn't hit the other one,
I'll hit the barrel as well.
- You go for it.
So go ahead and strike the pizza.
- Here's the pizza.
Pizza's gonna get got
for 11 points of damage.
- 11 points of damage.
(Matt imitates spear scraping)
What the?
- Barrel, I re-roll ones.
Is gonna get got for 16 points of damage.
- 16 points of damage.
- Don't k*ll them.
- Yes, don't k*ll them.
Both of us, both of us are
screaming in their heads.
Don't k*ll them, don't
k*ll them, don't k*ll them.
- You stab the pizza
(grunting) and Raphaniel,
you're just kinda like, bop.
Just-
(Anjali laughing)
(Brennan grunting)
- All right, you too.
- You stab the other one, and the pizza,
it cuts through the meat
and the bread as it carves.
It's easy.
You've k*lled members
who live on the outskirts
of where the Meat Lands
and Ceresia meet before,
and you know right where to strike.
It looks pretty hurt and wounded.
The other barrel creature,
you strike through,
hit the robe, the hood's
up, and you hit glass.
And you hear (imitates
glass crackling) glass break
as you pierce through.
And from inside (screaming).
You pull out and you can
see the inside liquid
of whatever container it
is is leaking through.
- As they go inside, can I
sneaky sneaky run in behind them?
- If you'd like to.
- I would like to.
- All right. Make a stealth check.
As you're moving across the way.
- 17 plus 10? Plus 12.
29.
- So, you'd have darted
in from behind.
- Right.
- And you see, you come
in right as the spear
strikes the smaller creature
and you hear it yelp in pain.
- And as it goes to make sound,
I wanna try to mute them,
- And as it goes to make sound,
I wanna try to mute them,
if I can, physically grab
their mouth or whatever.
- Okay.
- I don't want them screaming.
- Mm-hmm. Hell yeah.
- Make an athletics check
to try and-
- Such a bad skill for me.
- You're gonna be great.
- Can I Silvery Barbs myself?
- They got a nine, so we'll see.
- Oh yeah, we're fine. 14 plus two, 16.
- You reach around and grab,
from the other side of the hood,
not even seeing what face is there,
just holding wherever you
imagine the mouth would be
and (grunting) and you feel
teeth biting against your hand.
But you have them grappled
and held in that position.
What's everyone else doing?
- I think I'm just still kinda looking out
on the outside just in case
any other people come up.
I'm assuming this crew
in there can handle it.
- Okay. Make a perception check for me.
- Perception, 23.
- 23.
You look down the road
where you came from,
and you see there are some
larger armored Saprophians
and other cloaked figures that,
for a moment, you think
are coming this way.
But they turn and head
further into the city.
You don't see anybody else currently
approaching this intersection immediately,
which means for the time
being, you feel safe.
- Okay.
I'm just gonna stay out
here until they're done.
- Okay. You got it.
Karna.
- Holy sh*t. We hit 'em both.
Interesting.
She's gonna follow in
and attempt a charm person on the pizza.
- [Anjali] Nice.
- I know you're being actively attacked.
I'm still Master Porrum, and
I still need information.
- You got it.
- Yes.
- [Matt] So that's gonna be-
- Wisdom save with advantage.
- With advantage, because-
- [Aabria] Because we're
actively attacking him.
- You got it.
- I just love the pizza.
- Unfortch.
- That's gonna be an 18.
- Yeah, he absolutely beats it.
- The pizza kinda like, what the f*ck.
Porrum.
- Well, okay, okay.
So here's the thing, and I just drop it.
You're gonna die, so.
Or, or, or you explain what
you're about to unleash,
and maybe you get to live
long enough to see it happen.
- Okay, so you say that phrase.
Make an intimidation check.
And we're gonna come
back to the both of you.
As you kinda got the drop on them,
and there's this brief
moment where the one's
just kinda biting and
trying to fight against you
and will make an athletics check to try
and break free from you.
Make an athletics check contested.
- Don't k*ll him. Don't k*ll him.
No, it didn't happen. It's a big no.
It's a big no. I have to let him-
He bit into my hand.
- Yeah, the one you're
carrying bites into your hand
and pulls away.
What are you two doing?
- I'm gonna k*ll that one.
- Okay.
Go ahead and strike with your spear.
- Great.
That's gonna be a 28 on the first attack.
- Oh my god.
- And a 27 on the second.
- [Matt] Both hit.
- First attack does 10 points of damage.
Second attack does 16 points of damage.
- You (grunting) you hear
the cracking of glass
each time, and it falls onto its back,
the hood falling in, and
you see the glass container
that once held the spiced
fruit and chili combination,
as within the robe,
Chutney rolls to the side.
- Yeah!
God, that's amazing!
- Please do not (coughing) and
coughs up more of her innards
onto the glass, the
cracks up the side of it
as the robe is partially open.
(Aabria laughing)
- I look to the pizza.
Talk to her or that happens to you.
- [Matt] All right.
- Can I have advantage
on my intimidation check?
- Yes, you may.
- Cool. Thank you.
(Matt laughing)
- Much better.
- Didn't see it.
Didn't see it coming.
- [Aabria] 22.
- 22.
The pizza figure kinda like.
(Matt panting)
Fine.
What do you want to know, hm?
- What are you about to unleash?
- It's not what we are about to unleash.
It's what this is about to unleash,
and points out to the
mycelium that's spreading
throughout the city.
You understand?
Each of these can produce
toxins in smaller scales.
But if you release the
entirety of the heart's toxins
to the city above, when all of the armies
are in one place, that much death,
that much eventual decay
will keep the beast at bay
for generations.
- That's a good plan.
- So be thankful for what we're doing.
We are saving many lives.
Think twice before you try to continue
whatever crusade you've
brought yourselves here for.
- The leaders of every nation,
the vast armies that have come here,
to defeat Imperator Focaccia.
Do you think every struggle in this world,
other than the one you've
concocted in your mind, is folly?
Vision.
Look at the world around you.
- Sssh.
- (whisper) Look at the world around you.
- You notice the Saprophians are like.
Looking over in that direction.
And not too far away, that one crew
of Saprophian armored warriors
and the cloaked figures kind
of stops and kind of looks.
It's about 200 feet away.
But they're now kind of hearing
the shouting down the road
are starting to pivot.
- How do we stop it?
- [Matt] There is no stopping it.
The tunnel is dug. The roots have grown.
The mycelium stands ready
at the Archbishop's command.
- I'm gonna produce the shard
of the Bulb and look at you.
The elder.
Where is the elder?
- With the Archbishop.
They stand at the heart,
waiting for the finale.
- You will show us the way.
- No.
- I'm gonna produce the chunk of steel.
I am possessed of the art of healing.
So trust me when I say I will
be able to keep you alive
while I dig through your
eyes to pull your brain
out of the hole I make in
the front of your head.
- Make an intimidation
check with advantage.
- g*dd*mn.
- All of this over and over
is just like rolling advantages
at this point on this dude.
(Brennan chuckling)
- Intimidation, that's gonna be a 19.
- You know not what you are doing.
You invite destruction to all of Calorum.
It is no matter. You cannot stop them.
I'll show you. I'll show you.
And he begins to walk out of the room.
- I'm still kneeling next to Chutney.
(Matt coughing)
- My queen.
- Chutney.
Why?
- We had to prime you, to prime all of you
for the deed you were to do for us.
They found me, and I learned
the truth of the world.
And they told me when it was
time, if you would be ready.
And you were.
We are so proud.
You've helped save so many.
Do not (wheezing) do not lose.
- I take my dagger, and I
put her out of her misery.
(Matt gasping)
(somber music)
(Brennan sighing)
The world you left behind for my child
was not a world at all.
And I walk out with these guys.
- As they're emerging and you're like-
- (whisper) Hey, sorry, they're coming.
- Oh, they're coming.
- He screamed so loud.
- Someone talk to him in his head.
- Yeah, I catch you up
and sh, sh, sh, sh, sh.
And then catch you up on
everything that happened inside.
- Whoa.
- Yeah.
- Chutney?
(Aabria laughing)
Who's that?
- Who's that?
(Matt laughing)
- Wow. Who is that?
- So, you know, everyone's got
kinda like a personal connection to this.
- As they're all walking out,
you know that maybe about
80 feet or so down the road,
a whole cluster of individuals
are walking this direction
following the noise of the shouting.
- I mean, maybe, do you
wanna try waiting here
and letting them go by?
Or should we just hurry on?
- Is there a path that this
member of the Sanctus Putris
could take us down that would
avoid the coming patrol?
- It just depends on
if they can see us leave
this area right now.
- Is the city complex enough
that an alternate route
to avoid that patrol is available to us?
- You don't know where you're going.
But, I mean, the city is complex.
It is like an anthill network of tunnels
that all kind of cluster
together in this large 3D net.
- I think I'll just tell the...
I'll speak telepathically to you and say,
we don't have to help this
one lead us into the patrol.
We will just tell him to
take a different route
than he would normally
take, a circuitous one.
- Let's do it.
- And I'll communicate that
to the pizza guy and say,
take us by a different route.
- Of course.
(Matt grunting)
I need you all to make
a group stealth check
as you swiftly try and dart down
and through this path unseen
by the approaching patrol.
- We got this, guys.
- Goodbye.
- 16 for me.
- 25 for me.
- 27 for me.
- 19.
- 12.
- Baby.
- Baby.
He's a big boy.
- I'm a big boy.
- That's three very good rolls.
One pretty decent roll,
one really bad one.
(Lou scoffing)
Let's see how the pizza guy does.
- 12 would normally be-
- Oh, pizza guy.
- Oh, pizza guy.
- Oh no, pizza guy. Come on.
- Apparently, the intimidation was enough
to not draw his attention to the knowledge
of the patrol approach, as he
managed to roll a natural 15.
So darting down that
path curves to the right
of that T intersection.
And as you all kind of fall in behind,
you see the other civilian Saprophians
kind of stopping and noticing
this unfamiliar array
of individuals passing by.
You, who have taken the
spores into your body,
though you start getting
close to feeling them
begin to wash themselves
out of your system,
you pick up odd thoughts, curiosities,
not fear, but oh, who's that.
What's happening?
What?
Can we talk to them? Oh, they look busy.
It's just this very kind
of passive curiosity.
- I love them so much.
- I think there's a
moment here where I go,
you know, I think some of these would go
quite well in a salad.
- What?
- And have a moment of, as a radish,
have a moment of kinship of yeah.
A couple of those little guys over there,
they look kind of spongey and nice.
Yeah, that'd be fine in a salad.
- We could be friends one day.
- We could be friends one day.
(Aabria laughing)
- Led through the maze-like network
of the streets of Saprophus,
you travel, darting from
side to tunnel to opening
to avoid future patrols.
And prodding this pizza
figure, who seems to grow
more and more agitated with
this directive forward,
until eventually, you notice the density
of the mycelium becomes
so tethered and tight
that the walls themselves
are nearly continuous,
pulsing blue energy,
until eventually you come
to one central, massive
coliseum-like column
that stretches up to the roof
of a hundred foot tall cavern.
You see as it stretches up like the trunk
of an incredible tree.
The veins grow thick
and wrap and intertwine.
It is beautiful as it is ominous.
And you see a set of ancient
stairs in the same style
of the Saprophian
construction you've passed by
rise to a large set of double doors.
There are two exterior
robed FDA guardians standing
There are two exterior
robed FDA guardians standing
in watch, and you can just
faintly hear the sound
of chanting from
somewhere in this chamber.
- Chanting.
Oh, magic.
- I'm gonna look over at
you and telepathically go,
I think our flatbreaded
friend has outlived his use.
- So be it.
- He's like, good luck
going up the stairs.
We're kind of all over the place.
I've taken you right to the center-
(Matt gurgling)
(all shushing)
- Makes you wanna just stab a pizza
just right through the middle.
(all laughing)
- It's a full cut with
resistance to piercing damage.
(all laughing)
- Quietly, you lay him
aggressively to rest.
And as you all kind of
stand on the precipice
of this walkway that leads
to these ascending stairs
in the central chamber that you can see
the thousands upon ten thousands
upon hundreds of thousands
of mycelium tethers eventually sinking
into the sides of this rising colosseum.
- We have to get inside.
- We've been played for years as pawns.
Today, we've reached the
other side of the chessboard.
- Let's become queens.
- Let's become queens.
- I've already been a
queen. It's not all that.
- That's true.
- I've never played chess.
- We'll definitely have
time to teach you chess.
- Yeah, after this, we'll
have plenty of time.
It's totally fine.
- We both have robes.
- Mm-hmm.
- [Brennan] You have
disguise self as Porrum.
- Mm-hmm.
- What if you guys
brought us as prisoners?
- I think that's a
marvelous idea, my lady.
- Good.
I was keeping quiet 'cause I was just
going to say let's k*ll
them, but I like a plan.
- I'll do it up in the robe,
and, I think, we'll take some weapons
and begin to escort Deli
and Amangeaux to the door.
- I'll hold Amangeaux
'cause we're of a size.
- [Matt] Fair enough.
- I'll hold Deli and
really invite everyone
to wonder how this happened.
(all laughing)
Listen here, you. No funny business.
- We don't need to pretend yet.
- We're getting in character.
- No, we don't need to-
- We're getting in character.
- We don't have to get in character.
- I'm holding you up so
you're eye level with him.
- My feet aren't touching the ground,
but I'm holding the shoulder.
My little footies are hanging
out from under the robes.
- Are we sure Karna can't be-
- You don't have to
kick your feet so hard.
It's hard to hold you.
- It just feels funny. I'm wiggly.
- Can't you just switch?
- I am the boss. I'm in charge.
- Make it stop.
The wiggling.
- Your head is so squishy.
- It gets a little bit like
a water balloon, you know?
(Lou laughing)
- It's sort of (imitates water sloshing).
- This is what you've been
missing in the group chat.
- Yeah.
- Did you want this?
- Aren't you better off without?
- You can leave me off.
(Matt laughing)
- As the five of you step out,
these three cloaked figures flanking
the presentation of Delissandro
and who's the other prisoner?
It was.
- Me.
- Amangeaux.
Pushing down this
walkway, the two guardians
that you see at the top of the stairs,
their kind of robes over what looks like
some faint, leather-based armor,
like fruit leather that's been stretched
over their torsos, kinda
glance down and look.
And at first, they go for their weapons
before they kind of
notice the robes about.
And this crotchety blueberry-like creature
kinda looks past and goes.
Hello?
What do you bring before us?
- Very important prisoners.
- You'll never get away with this.
- I slap him.
- Ah.
- All right.
deception check with
advantage because of your help
in taking the slap.
- I kinda drop Raphaniel
and just lean back
and just slap him as well.
(all laughing)
(Zac imitating slapping)
- All right. All right.
All right. Okay.
- I'm on the ground.
I've fully broken a hip,
and I'm slapping your calf.
- All right. All right.
I know. Fine.
Fine. Fine.
Fine.
Sorry.
- 30.
- I'll be quiet.
- 30.
- [Anjali] Yeah, mama. Full 30.
- All right.
The two robed figures kind
of look at each other.
The blueberry smiles and goes, well,
it seems fortuitous at
this hour you bring a gift
to the Archbishop.
Maybe a sacrifice will
be what she requires
to celebrate the release of the spores.
- There's no one left to stop us now.
- Come, come.
I think she will be happy to see.
Kinda looks at the rest at the two of you.
This particular couple.
And they both walk up the stairs,
grabbing the edges of
the large stone doors,
and (imitates door creaking)
open them, and as they do,
the chanting grows louder,
as the brighter still blue
light emerges from the interior,
as the five of you step
and advance to what awaits
you beyond the threshold.
And that's where we're
gonna stop this episode.
(Aabria shrieking)
- Woo.
- Stop, stop, stop, stop.
- I slap him too.
I slap him like this.
- Stop.
- I have something that may
help you in these coming days.
I can do great good
from behind the scenes.
- Do we end it one way or the other?
- There is no room for
discretion or stealth.
- I wanted to be slammed down,
big-style as the Bulb rose.
You lied!
You lied!
- We got caught up in this
ridiculous web of yours, again.
- Fortuitous indeed, for
I thought our dalliances
had come to an end.
- This plan is the ruin of
your people made manifest.
- If you call, I will come. Always.
- You have always been chosen,
and it's still time to join us.
- No!
- What's going on? What are we doing?
- Just run!
- We're all going to die
virgins here, I'm afraid.
- I will live to get
slammed down, big-style.
(all laughing)
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music continues)
(no audio)
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17x05 - The Seventh Kingdom
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.