(logo whooshes dramatically)
(dramatic music)
(stoats squeaking and chittering)
(dramatic music continues)
(squeaking continues)
(bear growls)
(dramatic music continues)
(dramatic music continues)
(dramatic music ends)
- Y'all ready to play some f*cking D&D?
(group cheers excitedly)
Hello friends and welcome to the finale
of Burrow's End.
A Dimension 20 joint, it
got a little weird already.
- Yes.
- I am your warren warden
and Dungeon Master,
Aabria Iyengar and with
me to wrap up our tale
of evolution and revolution
are my Stupendous Stoats.
Gotta go back to the classic.
- [Players] Aw!
- Say hi one more time, Stupendous Stoats.
- [Players] Hi Stupendous
Stoats one more time.
- [Aabria] Okay.
- Yeah.
- Full circle, bookend-ed.
Story structure.
(Aabria laughs)
- Shut the f*ck up.
- Hey, inspiration.
- [Izzy] Bookends are not circles.
(Siobhan laughs)
- So my Stupendous Stoats,
you have everything you need now.
You know how this story began.
A forest, a plant, a meltdown, a plot.
Now, how's it going to end?
Let's find out.
We pick up back inside Last Bast.
You know what's coming.
You've got the night, you have
a radio from Doctor Steel.
The stoats now have sort of dispersed.
They're breaking off
into groups, discussing.
Everyone looks a little
frenetic and confused.
There's not that easy flow
of when everyone knew what they had to do,
they went and did it.
It was a functioning organism.
Now there were flaws to
how that organism ran,
but now there's simply chaos.
You can feel it in the air.
What do you want to do with
the time you have left?
- I think Lila would
actually like to listen
to Channel Three a little bit.
- Okay.
Where are you going to do this?
- Maybe our room or something?
- I was just wondering
if you wanted to do it
sort of publicly or privately?
- Oh yeah, like all together.
- Yeah.
- All together but maybe in
a more private place. - Yeah.
- Just not to freak anyone out.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, we could go back
to the lab I guess or?
- Do things seem different?
Did?
- [Siobhan] Yeah, what's the vibe?
Did Tiddles like?
- [Aabria] Teedles.
- Teedles.
- You are
your grandmother's granddaughter.
- [Izzy] Did Teedles-?
- I should probably check in with Teedles.
- [Jasper] I was gonna say.
- To see how
- [Jasper] To check in with Teedles.
- How the meeting went.
- [Izzy] Call.
- Yeah.
- I find Teedles,
wherever they are.
- [Aabria] Sure.
- In a chat.
(holding back laughter)
I go, hey girl, hey.
- Hi, hi.
- How did it go?
- Good, I told them the entire system
that was driving their day to day life
was a sort of totalitarian lie
and now everyone's very sad and scared.
We did it.
- Understandable that
folks would be upset.
- Look, you believed in me
and I super appreciate that
but I really don't know
what the f*ck is going on.
So maybe, what's going on?
- There are humans outside.
Of the warren.
- Right now?
- Not right now, but they are on their way
and we have the evening.
- The eve, okay.
You keep going.
- I'm not gonna tell you
how to respond to things
but I just want.
- No that's really nice.
Yeah.
It's just a big acceleration.
- This is what's happening.
- In what, yeah.
- Well there's no time
to dilly dally.
- Okay.
- Okay, there are forces outside
that want to get inside
and the goal is to never,
ever, ever let them get in here.
If everyone is inside, they are safe.
- Okay, okay.
- Mmhmm?
- We have met one of the humans
and made contact and hopefully,
they're gonna be an ally of ours.
Yes.
- Oh.
So you figured out how
to communicate with them
and you are unsure.
- We've all been able
to communicate with them the whole time.
You are speaking Human at this moment.
(dramatic music)
I know.
- (choked) Okay.
(in shock) I won't talk.
- And,
We have reason to believe
that one of the First Stoats planned
and took the life of Dr. Wenabocker
who was a human who ran
this facility before us.
- Okay.
- And that Stoat
took it upon themselves
to inhabit that person
or left with them, we don't know.
But that, there was a
message that was left
with the First Stoats
that said she will be back
and we have reason to
believe that this first,
First Stoat is the one
that is coming back.
- Okay, wow.
- I know.
- Okay, what do you want us to do?
- Okay, what do you want us to do?
This is a lot.
- The groups that would
herd larger animals outside.
- Resource Allocation.
- Resource Allocation.
Do you think we could add more to the team
of Resource Allocation?
Because these coppers,
they don't need to really regulate people
because we all have a
common goal right now.
- Okay.
- If they could suit themselves up
with all of the things that they would use
for taking down an animal
and ready themselves,
I think we're gonna have
to send out waves of stoats
to do some fighting if necessary.
- Okay, we're taking the fight to them?
- Mmm.
Get a good night rest.
In the morning.
- (silent) In the morning?
- Be ready.
- [Aabria] Okay.
Wow, um okay.
Okay.
So you're gonna hunker
down and stay safe right
because you are...?
- Everybody's gotta do their part.
- Okay.
- I will fight.
- Okay.
If I die in the next 12 hours,
it was really nice having
a friend for a little bit.
We're not gonna die, it'll be fine.
- No, we're not gonna die.
- There's like, what,
10 humans up there?
- We're gonna be best friends.
- There's a bunch of us, we'll be great.
- I'm gonna have you babysit
the children from time to time.
- Oh I would rather die via human.
Thank you so much.
Okay, I'll do what I can.
If I need anything, where can I find you?
- I will be in the main hall
where all the stoats gather.
I'll be visible and ready
if anybody needs me.
- Understood.
- [Aabria] Okay, and then
Teedles splinters off.
- So I feel that humans
probably sleep at night,
as we do, yes?
- I think so.
- Maybe if we go to bed early
and wake up early, we get a
lot more done with our day
and also we can surprise the humans.
- I definitely think we
should surprise the humans
and like maybe we can make some traps
and like maybe we can
just jump down on them
and like maybe they
won't even see us coming
and we just jump on
them and then they die.
- Is our plan to attack the humans?
- Yeah.
- What may be, what might be a good focus,
I don't know what the group thinks
but Dr. Wenabocker is the problem now.
That his and Phoebe's presence
will be the barrier to us having
any kind of successful peace
negotiation with the humans
because they, for all we know,
Dr. Wenabocker's already told them
all kinds of lies and
fabrications about the facility.
- We could just tie
them all down to chairs
and then talk to -
- That's what I said.
But they seem to resist the idea.
- We should ask Simon how he felt
after he was tied to a chair,
if it made him feel really
receptive to the children
and their demands.
- He could be still tied up
at this moment, we don't know.
- I would wager anything
he is still tied up at this moment.
- But we have bigger things,
some bigger concerns.
- Yeah, I,
it felt like we sort of just
had a discovery yesterday
that they're sort of animals too
and so, I mean I don't know.
- I think that's right sweetie.
I think that we need to
be prepared for the worst,
maybe prepared to defend ourselves here.
But I would feel awful
harming any of these humans,
especially if they're.
- They harmed us.
- How?
- They k*lled Dad.
- They also potentially -
- And they're dangerous.
They have thunder that
comes from a clear sky.
- I also have thunder that comes
from a clear sky.
- We do that too.
- But you're dangerous too, so good.
- So Jaysohn, do you notice
that the sort of commonalities
that we have with them
can be used to just
keep hurting each other?
There are more humans other
than the humans that are
here to come find us and if.
- How many?
- I don't know, they said 20,000.
They said as many there
are stoats probably.
- So if we k*ll these
ones here to protect us
then all of the humans
that know them will go,
"Well we have to go k*ll all these stoats
"who k*lled my father and my brother
"and my friend."
- We don't know if you know,
not all humans k*lled Dad.
For all we know, Phoebe
could've k*lled Dad.
- I think the wisest thing to do
is to remember in our hearts
that these are other
thinking and feeling animals
and that we should track
down and m*rder Phoebe.
- Yes.
- [Jasper] That would be my suggestion.
- Perhaps we could take Truck?
- Okay I'm all in on Truck.
- May be fun.
- Maybe we'll,
last time all of the people left
was because there was a core meltdown.
- Yes.
- If we make them think
that that's happening again.
- That's what I was thinking.
- They'll scatter.
- That might not be a longterm solution
because remember that Dr. Steel
had a machine that could tell Blue.
- But it would give us, as Jaysohn said,
give us time to go have
a little chat maybe. - [Aabria]
(to Izzy's gesturing) Much bigger.
- [Siobhan] Yeah let's
listen to the radio.
- I will say yeah, you are
easily back in your den
at this point.
- If anyone mentions that Dr.
Wenabocker is walking or out,
we could sprint there and rip him open
and find Phoebe.
- You've got a look in your eyes
I haven't seen before.
- No, no, no, no, no.
It's good.
- That's the maternal
instincts jumping out.
- [Brennan] It's good.
- I really like it, Mum,
you should feel it more.
- Yeah and I'm still the same.
I'm not different now.
- Oh I don't know Tu-tu.
It's a little, little keyed up.
- Do I seem keyed up?
- Mm-hmm.
- [Siobhan] Yeah, it's really cool.
- It's amazing.
- I think it's going rather well.
- (congested) You seem nice to me.
You seem nice to me.
- [Brennan] Well I am nice.
- You're just sort of in our room now.
- No one sent me home.
- [Brennan] Lukas, you can stay with us.
- You can go see your mom.
- Something tells me that
you are powerfully magical
in a way.
(Cast laughing)
- In a way that could save us later on.
- In a way that could save us.
- [Aabria] I'm very high stealth.
- [Rashawn] It's like you're the one.
- I could just be places.
- He's gonna Wild Magic.
- A situation kind of going on.
- (congested) I'm an eloquence bard.
(group laughing at this
stuffy-nosed stoat)
- What kind of bard are you?
- Eloquence.
- [Izzy] "Meloquence"?
(Players intentionally mispronouncing
"eloquence" repeatedly)
- [Aabria] I can say all those letters.
- Did you say "mard"?
- Mard.
- Bard, bard.
- Bard.
- Turning up the volume.
- [Brennan] Oh it's the radio.
- [Aabria] Yeah.
- On channel three.
- [Aabria] Channel three.
- Well we should,
they can't hear us too much while we're.
- Turn off the microphone.
- Oh so they can't hear us?
- Yeah.
(radio crackles)
- Don't press it.
- No don't press it.
- You're getting sort of
chatter which is like:
Bravo Team in place.
We're on standby for orders.
Everything is looking good.
You're hearing that Alpha Team
is having some struggle
with a landing site
and that they are moving,
they're moving reinforcements
over and you're like,
"Clear some area for a little landing site
"for a helicopter."
- What else is on?
(group laughs)
- Grandma needs a story.
- Matlock.
- Ooh, Matlock?
- [Siobhan] So handsome.
- [Erika] What a handsome man.
- We could ask.
If we hear someone that
we want to talk to,
badly, we could ask them to go to another.
Because if you speak as Dr.
Wenabocker on this channel,
the odds that Dr. Wenabocker
hears you are very high.
- [Jasper] Yes.
- But, in just a regular voice
you could ask someone to
go to a different channel
and when they got to that other channel,
you could start speaking
as Dr. Wenabocker.
- And say, actually let's call it off.
Let's call it all off.
No.
- Everybody go home.
- No need to go in, I think it's bad.
- Or, you could tell someone
that you had captured
a number of stoats and that
you needed to bring them
to Dr. Wenabocker right away.
- I.
- And then they bring us
right to her.
Then we jump out and
we bite her throat out.
- Oh Mommy has so much bloodlust.
- I love it.
- It's kind of,
when you lock those eyes in.
- [Siobhan] I am like her.
- I cannot look away.
- This is what Auntie Viola
was talking about.
I used to be different when I was younger.
- She was wild.
- [Aabria] Tutu!
- [Jasper] Little spice
in there. A little spice.
- Ooh.
- Oh Mama, thank you.
- Violent.
- Reading your
teenage sister's diary
and she's just very violent
- Okay so should I
just sort of scan?
Should I just sort of scan the channels
and see what we hear?
- Yeah.
- I think we
can stay on three for most of it
and we should scan some other channels too
but if we stay on three for most of it,
and then I'm just saying that we have,
we could go to other channels.
- Spanish.
- (Spanish accent) Radio Soul
(group laughs)
(radio crackles)
- Okay this is channel one.
(Brennan imitates Spanish radio ad)
- [Brennan] JCPenney.
- Nothing on one.
- Nothing on one. Two.
- [Rashawn] ♪ Vale, vale ♪
(Reggaeton music)
- Spanish.
♪ Vale ♪
- Spanish.
- Three.
- It's a lot of Pitbull, which is crazy.
- I'm gonna go back.
- Go back, Mister Worldwide.
(Rashawn sings 'Gasolina' by Daddy Yankee)
- Mister Worldwide operating 40 years.
(group laughs)
- If this was animated.
- Lila, play Despacito.
- If this was an animated movie,
he would almost certainly
come over the end credits
rapping about stoats.
- Yeah, maybe.
But he'd be like an otter.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah and then Bryan Cranston
would come in for a rap verse.
- Yeah, oh.
- Shout out Chernobyl.
- Cranny's got bars.
(Brennan laughs wheezily)
- Okay, channel three.
- Channel three, you're
hearing that same chatter.
- [Izzy] Okay.
- Sounds like
these two camps are trying to figure out
a landing ground.
- Okay.
Boring.
- Should we tell
that nice old lady about
our little subterfuge?
- She was a nice lady
but I don't know if she's
gonna be into throat biting?
- Well, we don't have
to necessarily say that.
- Oh yeah, we could lie.
- We could say,
we'll just say we're seeking
to arrange an audience
with Dr. Wenabocker and is there anyone
that would be worth speaking to?
- I'm into it.
(radio crackles)
- Channel four.
- Channel four, you hear a bunch of pings.
Like beeps of varying length.
(crackling beeps sporadically)
- Ooh, we have any understanding
of Morse code maybe?
- That'd be so amazing for you.
- I mean we aren't smart.
- One of us calls writing "pre-read."
- I really feel like it's a stretch guys.
- I got a 13 intelligence, is that enough
to understand Morse code, Aabria?
- It's not.
- What about a Nat 20
coming right up?
Nine.
- [Rashawn] Intelligence?
- Got a Nat 20 coming right up,
coming right up.
- [Rashawn] 24?
- Here's this nat 20.
- [Aabria] What'd you get?
- [Izzy] Six.
- [Aabria] Okay.
(Erika laughs at Jasper's roll)
- Actually, 13.
- B'Okay.
- 23?
- Okay. - There's no way I'm
gonna be able to learn Morse code.
- How'd you do?
- Oh I got a one.
- Natural one.
- Start jamming to it.
- Oh I got a f*cking 19.
(Aabria laughs)
- That's not a 20.
- Yeah.
- Okay, we don't know
Morse code. Channel five.
- Channel five is empty for now.
- Okay.
- Hold channel six.
(Aabria gasps)
- (as Tara) Are you
there, can you hear me?
Oh God.
- Hello?
- Wait for them.
- Shh.
- Tara, doctor, Dr. Tara?
Dr. Tara?
- Let go, let go.
- I think you.
- Yes, hi.
- Yeah, she.
- Wait I have to press it down
and then?
- You hold it down to talk,
why am I explaining that, you got it.
You don't have to mime it the whole time.
You don't have to mime it the whole time.
- Hi.
- Oh hi, bad news.
Looks like plans are being advanced
that they want to breach tonight.
- Um, okay.
Um f*ck, sh*t, pants.
- Whoa.
- How many people are there
that know how to detect the Blue?
- Just about everyone here
is equipped with a Geiger counter.
- If there was to be
a big, blue light show
- If there was to be
a big, blue light show
right above where Reactor Charlie is,
would that be cause for perhaps pause?
- Right over Reactor Charlie?
Hold on.
- And you hear the ruffling of papers,
like massive things and that's spreading
and checking and mumbling
under Doctor Steel's breath.
- Okay, if my plans are correct.
(dramatic whoosh)
- That main tent is over
Reactor Charlie right now.
- Oh excellent.
- The main tent?
- [Izzy] Oh sh*t.
- Whose tent is it?
- You know.
(gasps)
- Yeah.
- Doctor Wenabocker.
- [Izzy] Oh he's outside.
- Yes, Doctor Wenabocker.
- Yeah, he's cool.
- Okay, how many humans
are in the tent with Doctor Wenabocker?
- Should we blow it up?
- I'm not in there right now
but I know that there's four.
Should be three or four,
couple from Bravo and one from Alpha.
couple from Bravo and one from Alpha.
- [Siobhan] I mean, we're pretty sneaky.
- To do what, what are you planning?
- So Tara, the situation
has advanced rapidly.
So here's the situation.
We want an everlasting peace
between stoats and humans.
- Okay.
- Doctor Wenabocker is
a nasty corpse puppet
and he has an evil immortal
stoat living in him
and we gotta get it out and k*ll her dead.
- Okay.
- So I'm trying to think of a way
for these two kind of goals
to be mutually enforcing,
for these two kind of goals
to be mutually enforcing,
rather than we rip out
your leader's throat
and k*ll the stoat who's
running him like a puppet
and then all of the soldiers,
very rightfully go,
"Well these stoats are quite bad."
- And then k*ll us all.
- What'd you say?
We should lure, lure him?
- I can lure Wenabocker out of the tent
if you speak to the other leadership here?
- Maybe lure?
- We could speak to the other
leadership if there's a.
- If they knew what I know
which is that you're
thousands of sentient,
sapient creatures we would,
we would be bound by law to treat this
like a scientific discovery.
We would have to have negotiations.
This would no longer be a military issue.
(Erika laughs)
(twinkly music)
- I've fought against many other groups
that we knew were sentient.
Oh we know it's just,
people will do anything
to protect their burrows
and their community.
There's no guarantees
that knowing someone else is intelligent
means that they'll be
merciful or anything.
What you have to do is get them
to believe that we are
part of their burrow.
- Okay.
- I think that's closer
to what we're attempting to do.
I think if you look out and see these,
what they have at their disposal,
they will wipe us off
of the face of the earth
before we even have a chance to talk.
- And if we show them that we don't,
that we're not a threat,
then maybe they won't want to wipe us out?
- We have broadcast equipment too.
If we make it undeniable that the secret
no longer exists here.
If other people knew.
- Is there a channel that goes
out further than your group?
- We have long range equipment here, yeah.
Yes.
- So it sounds like we need
to lure Doctor Wenabocker
and deal with that situation
and then we need to try
and have a conversation
and then we need to try
and have a conversation
with the leaders of your group.
- Oh yes.
- It doesn't sit quite well with me,
the idea of you luring this Doctor out
because I wouldn't want
to put you in harm's way.
What would you suggest in
terms of separating him
from these other four humans?
- I was walking around the back
and I found a very big elk
with too many spikes on it
and I was gonna kind of just be like,
"Come look at this horrible,
"there's a wrong animal here.
"You should see that."
And I figured that would buy some time
but if you have a better idea.
- If you think Doctor
Wenabocker would come out alone
to go observe that,
then yeah, then I think that's very.
If that works for you
then we would be happy
to make that our point.
- I would have MeatWolf
somewhere in waiting.
- Ooh, ooh.
- And Jaysohn.
- [Aabria] (whisper) And Jaysohn.
- Honestly more terrifying
than the MeatWolf, you'll see.
- Okay.
- Maybe the thing to do is Tara,
you mention the wrong animal
and if that doesn't seem to
motivate Doctor Wenabocker,
follow up and say there are
four larger than normal stoats
out with this animal.
- Okay, okay.
- If that doesn't motivate
Doctor Wenabocker,
maybe Phoebe's somewhere else.
- Okay, um good luck.
- Thank you.
- Still getting used to time
but should we say 10 minutes and then go?
So we have time to get in place?
- Done.
- [Jasper] Okay, all right.
- Are you going with
Doctor Wenabocker alone?
- Yeah.
- Maybe don't.
- If there's any risk that
Doctor Wenabocker suspects...
- Hey just go on the radio and say,
"Hey Doctor Wenabocker,
there's a wrong thing.
"A wrong animal, go look at it."
You could be any one of the soldiers,
you have a nice strong voice for that.
You hunker down
and get yourself a nice
new hazmat suit, dear.
- Okay?
- Thank you for your help.
- Okay.
- If we're worried about Tara
running this gambit herself,
you could imitate Tara over
the walkie to Wenabocker
and just have her be
waiting at the paddock?
- Can you do an impression of me?
- (as Tara) "Can you do
an impression of me?"
- (impressed) f*ck.
(Brennan chortles)
Sorry, pants?
(Rashawn and Jasper laugh)
- Pants is right.
- [Rashawn] Pants is right.
- Huh. Wild.
- (as Tara) Huh. Wild.
(Erika cackles at Jasper's impression)
- Okay, now shut the f*ck up.
- Sorry I'm just acclimating.
- That is.
- [Aabria] Okay.
- Crazy.
- [Aabria] That is uncanny.
- (As Tara) It is uncanny, okay.
(Brennan and Aabria laugh)
- And I think you hear a human
growl for the first time.
- [Jasper] They are just like us.
- [Erika] Ah yes.
- [Izzy] Humans, they're just like us.
- Okay, well.
- [Rashawn] Stoats magazine.
- I'm going to go get Truck.
- Why?
- If you have Truck ready to go
and you understand how to
move it, what we can do is,
should everything fail
and Doctor Wenabocker
doesn't come out and we don't capture him,
we can have me as the Director say
like something, you know,
declare that we're getting out of here
and we'll drive the truck away.
Drawing all of the humans'
attention to us in the truck
and away from Last Bast.
- Go now.
(Radio crackles)
- And you hear the line go dead.
- Yes.
- Okay.
- Get weapons, go to Truck.
- Okay, we're gonna get in Truck.
We're gonna get the
things, MeatWolf is coming.
We're gonna go to the paddock,
we're gonna meet Doctor Wenabocker there.
We're gonna fight.
Get a jumpsuit and if worst case scenario,
and we have to k*ll Doctor Wenabocker,
we'll all get in the jumpsuit
to look like a human and
we'll stab Wenabocker to death
to k*ll Phoebe and we'll say,
"I'm a human doing this."
And then sprint into
the woods and scatter,
leaving the jumpsuit
buried in a hole.
- Yes, that's.
- [Siobhan] Where was this mum?
- I thought because.
- Where was this mum?
She rules!
- What's a jumpsuit?
- [Siobhan] I don't know.
- It's like a bear
but you have to move it.
- [Siobhan] Okay.
- Okay, everyone.
Really quickly, huddle up.
I just wanted to say very quickly,
it is the joy and honor of my life
to call myself a member of your family.
We have to do this because if we fail,
this will be the Burrow's End
and I'm gonna cast Motivational Speech.
- He said the name of this thing!
- He said the name.
He said the f*cking name.
- Titular.
- That's a pro, that's a pro folks.
- I'm gonna cast Motivational
Speech on everyone.
This lasts for one hour.
Everyone gets five temp hit points.
You get advantage on wisdom-saving throws
and if you get hit and take damage,
the next attack you make has advantage.
- All right, well.
Thank you, son.
Break.
(group lightly screams and mimic running)
- [All] Check it out,
check it out, check it out.
(all "Check it out" repeatedly)
- [Izzy] Can we bring weapons?
- What weapons?
- Ballistics.
- You bring a human g*n?
- Yeah.
- Vibes.
- Thank you, whatever you.
- An entire human g*n.
- Will let us say.
- [Aabria] If-
- Can I man the g*n turret
on top?
- On top of the truck?
- Yeah.
- [Jasper] Truly, if there is a way to.
- [Rashawn] Put your whole body.
- A human g*n.
- [Izzy] You turn into Rambo.
- We could, even just fire one time,
that's a big chunk of hit points
we could just get rid of immediately.
- Yeah, I'm just worried she has like...
- [Jasper] Okay.
- [Rashawn] Yessir.
- I'm gonna hit Bless on
the kids, myself and Viola.
- I'm gonna hit Bless on
the kids, myself and Viola.
- I just don't have any big...
- You guys are on your way
to the elk pen, to truck?
Where are we?
- I'm going to truck
and I'll come back around
and pick everyone up.
- Okay, there's no
universe in which one Stoat
drives a whole truck.
- I thought that you
said they were coming up
with different mechanisms
so that one could?
- No that multiple people
would be able to like, I'm gas, I'm brake.
I'm steering, I'm looking.
- Maybe we can all just go
get the truck.
- [Aabria] And I'm shifting.
- Let's go.
- And we'll drive to-
- The truck is a group project.
- [Jasper] Group project.
- Great.
- We're all going to truck.
We're all driving it.
- I have Disguise Self.
Should I disguise myself
as one of the First Stoats?
Or will she k*ll me?
Forget it, you know, just an idea.
- Just pitching into the void.
- Okay, to truck.
- [Erika] To truck.
- And we'll divvy up
the truck things and then
we'll head to the elk pen
and call it in.
- Okay.
- You make your way out to the garage
where you know this sort
of retrofitted truck
that can be operated by several stoats
in a coordinated effort is there.
You need one on the gas, one on the brake,
one shifting, one
steering and one looking.
So who's going where?
- Who is the best at looking?
- Gas please.
- Cool.
- Yeah.
- [Aabria] Who's brake?
- I'll go next to my sister on brake.
- [Aabria] Sweet. - [Jasper] We
know Tula's definitely brakes.
- [Aabria] Who's gearshift?
- Stepping on the brakes.
- I'll be gearshift.
- [Aabria] All right.
- Are there
different skill checks
for different things?
- [Jasper] Of course.
- You should be look.
- Jaysohn can look out and I'll steer.
- Okay.
- I have some
pretty useful long ranged attacks.
So perhaps if I'm,
I'll be maybe up top or
something if we need to
and do a little of the old.
- [Brennan] We can always call on.
- [Erika] I am very good at truck.
- And Lukas, where's Lukas?
- [Jasper] Yes that's true.
- Oh Lukas was?
- Can Lukas help Grandma?
- [Aabria] Yeah.
- Lukas, you're on the radio.
- Radio, okay.
- Okay, what's on deck?
(hums music)
- I can sing so many songs.
- Oh it's 82.
♪ Danger Zone ♪
(group laughs)
I know about cocaine.
- That's what that song was.
- Could we have gotten Quentin
and the twins and Bennett?
And Sybil?
- [Jasper] I was planning
on bringing at least like.
- Could we have 20,000 stoats
in the back of the truck and take
this show on the road?
- [Siobhan] How many can we take?
♪ Welcome to the jungle ♪
- I think if you are like,
as you're sort of running back
with the radio to touch base,
you saw that the other Stoat group leaders
were being thrown into formation like,
"Okay you said we keep them out."
You asked us to have waves on hand
if we need to go flow out
and attack both of them.
So you have 20,000 stoats
led by your other NPC friends
that are like, "We're
gonna hold down the fort."
- [Izzy] Okay, great.
- If you hear,
there may be some fighting
and some kerfuffle
but make sure to have eyes
on multiple humans advancing
before you do anything.
We have a,
hopefully have a plan to
negate the need for all of this
but if that should fail,
humans may advance.
That's the point to start fighting back.
Not if you hear,
I don't want suddenly,
them to start rushing out.
- If they fight, we fight.
- Yes.
- Got it, perfect.
- Thank you.
- And for all of you,
listen, I must, I am
probably the oldest Stoat
in this burrow now.
I've been through many winters
and each of those winters
was hard and tough
but we got through it by
looking out for one another.
So now, you have to take all the wisdom
from the very flawed
leaders that came before you
from the very flawed
leaders that came before you
and from your ancestors and
protect the young ones here.
and from your ancestors and
protect the young ones here.
- Give me a persuasion check.
- Or else.
- Intimidation check.
(group laughs)
- Very nice.
(group laughs at this
motivating speech turned threat)
- I'll give you advantage.
- [Rashawn] Advantage, advantage.
(group laughs)
- Oh my God.
- That was incredible,
(Cast repeatedly saying 'Or else)
- Amazing.
- An addendum
just to get the better skill.
You're gonna do so good
- [All] Or else.
- [Siobhan] You b*tch!
- 25.
(group cheers and claps)
- You see these stoats that
were still kind of scattered
and figuring out,
all get into f*cking formation.
And take off like a well-oiled machine.
You sort of imagine it
through corridors and hallways
from your vantage point
as you go up and out.
Like blood flowing through veins.
The Heart beats, Last
Bast is defending itself
and you all make your way to truck.
- Yes.
- In we go.
- Inside this garage,
you see several broken down vehicles
and everything that was
still good, still usable
after 20 years is put onto a single,
beige camouflage-colored truck.
We're gonna play with The
Last of Us rules that says,
gasoline, lasts for 20 years.
Don't Google it.
It's fine, we don't
have time for fidelity.
It's a made up story about stoats.
- The stoats can talk but
the gasoline isn't real?
- Yeah right?
That's my immersion.
So we're gonna do a series of checks
and this is a threshold game, so.
- Great.
- Athletics for the gear shift,
athletics for gas and brake.
Dexterity checks for steering
and survival for everyone looking up
and out.
- I should not be
on the gearshift.
- [Aabria] It's okay.
- Let's switch, how's your survival?
- Okay.
- I would like to say
that I am proficient in truck.
- Okay, you have advantage.
In fact I will lower the DC for everyone
as you coordinate.
- [Jasper] But then.
- Mama, do you want to switch
with Lila?
- Oh yes, sure.
- Thank you.
- Okay, so.
- That's a dex check?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- [Jasper] Survival.
- [Erika] Yes.
- Are we all rolling here?
- Everyone's rolling, yeah.
- Okay.
- I'll give my
sister Guidance.
- I'm gonna activate my.
- Thank you, D4 from the spell?
- D4, yeah.
- Astral Arm
so I can do this with
wisdom instead of strength.
- [Izzy] And just plus your.
- Oh for f*ck's sake.
- [Izzy] Dexterity?
- Was it a natural one?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- I'm grinding the gears.
I'm just like, "Look at this grandma.
"It goes from side to side."
- [Aabria] How'd you do?
- [Erika] Oh you're doing so good.
- 18.
- [Jasper] You're a lookout right?
- [Aabria] 18?
- No, I switched.
- [Aabria] Eight?
- [Jasper] Oh you switched.
25.
- [Rashawn] It's not going very fast.
- Honestly, for one where
we don't have a lookout,
going slowly is a good.
- [Rashawn] Yeah we're
very good, we're good.
- 26.
- [Jasper] Yes.
- [Aabria] 26.
- Some parts of this car
are doing good and some
parts are doing bad.
Thank you so much.
- We're like,
we're like slowly inching forward.
- [Aabria] Yep. (Rashawn imitates
a vehicle starting and stopping)
- You are slowly making your
way up and out of the garage
but all of this is like a
strange, coordinated effort.
None of you have practiced this
and even though you are
operating your relative stations
with ease with the exception of Jaysohn.
Who is absolutely
just twerking on a gearshift.
You begin to make your way,
slightly assisted by gravity
out of the garage, what's your plan?
- Tula?
- Mama, what does brake do?
- I don't know.
- But I thought
you knew truck.
- Well yes, but I've never used brake.
- But brake is part of truck.
- Well clearly not a very important one.
- Well that's what I'm asking, Mom.
- Well and I told you.
- I'm just saying.
- It's probably not, not that important.
- Because Jaysohn.
- Okay, stop it.
(whole table falls silent)
- Yeah, we don't know how it works
but that's fine, look at us.
We're doing so much more
than we've ever done
so stop fighting over stupid stuff okay?
Let's find these elk,
let's k*ll this lady.
Let's do this.
- I'm gonna figure it out.
- Jesus.
- You're gonna be,
you're gonna be such a great mom.
- Maternal instincts just.
- Grandma, stop giving out candy
and look where you're going.
- That's your job, honey.
- No, it's her job.
- My job.
- We switched?
Okay, I'm down here.
- Who's on lookout?
- [Izzy] Me?
- 25.
- Yeah, the 25.
You see it, coming up the road
that you were slowly working down.
Four humans approaching.
- Did you tell us?
- Yeah yeah, I'm imagining
that I'm on the roof or something.
I poke my head down, I'm like, "Look."
- You were standing on the roof?
- Oh my God, yeah.
- [Izzy] No, he wasn't.
- No, I thought
he was on the dashboard.
- No, I was on the roof.
- Thank you.
- [Erika] Why are you up there?
- You see the central
figure raises their hand
and all of you feel a pulse
(mysterious wooshing and reverberation)
as the car comes to a stop.
- Can I activate Bladesong?
- [Aabria] Sure.
- Hey, so did we just,
did one of them just cast a spell on us?
- Oh, raised his hand.
Raised their hand and that's
when the vehicle stopped.
- Anyone with their
eyes above the dashboard
can see that the humans at this,
break into a run following
that central figure
with their hand still up.
- How far away are they?
- 60 feet and closing.
- 60 feet and closing, okay.
- This is one action and
then I'm gonna do something,
so what do you do?
- Okay I'm gonna cast Daylight
on the front of the truck.
- You cast Daylight on
the front of the car.
Everything goes, not to the sunny, golden
of a beautiful day but of
that powerful, pulsing blue.
Everything around you is
filled with that light
and looking out and through,
your night vision almost
ruined by the power
of your spell.
You see that the other
humans gave a wide berth
but that central figure
keeps running forward
and pulling a hand down,
crumbles the asphalt beneath you.
And all of you drop 100 feet.
- What?
- What?
- We're going to need the new map.
(group shouts in excitement
and anticipation)
(dramatic music)
- You all feel the ground
give way beneath you.
(structures crumbling and collapsing)
You begin to fall.
(dramatic music)
What do you do?
No roll required,
if you stay in the truck you
will be crushed inside it.
- Feather Fall.
- [Rashawn] Getting out of this truck.
- Oh, on all of us?
- Yeah.
- [Siobhan] Yas.
- [Jasper] Yes.
- [Aabria] If you do it while
you're inside the truck,
you will still get crushed
because the Feather
Fall will go to the top
and pull you down.
- Jump, jump out.
- Jump, jump.
- Do we jump out the sun roof?
- Cast it and then we all.
- Jump.
- Okay.
- [Izzy] Is that possible?
- Absolutely.
- The truck will fall faster
than the rest of us.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, you just didn't
want to be pinned inside.
- Can we say that it looks like
we're suddenly flying squirrels?
- [Aabria] Yeah.
- We just had like.
- [Aabria] Yes, that's very cute.
- The sashes, its all the sashes-
(Rashawn and Jasper making woosh sounds)
- I can't cast Fly on a car right?
- Correct.
- But respect, I respect the effort.
- Now last minute genre change
to Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
(group laughs)
- Yeah, yeah.
We can make it the end of Grease.
- Yes.
♪ Shama Lama Ding De Dong ♪
- So here's what happens.
You all panic as the truck tilts in.
You jump out, trusting
as you see little Lila
beginning to cast a massive spell.
A burst of blue goes off and
you feel yourselves slow.
- I don't know what I'm doing.
(dramatic music)
Now we're cold.
- And everything around
you comes crashing down,
rubble, brick, stone,
asphalt and three humans
rubble, brick, stone,
asphalt and three humans
squelch onto the ground.
(bodies bursting on impact)
Crushed in the rubble.
- Three humans crushed in the rubble?
- Yep, they slam down.
They did not have Feather Fall.
- However, floating down
at just a little bit faster
than you is the fourth human.
The one that reached out,
the one that can use the
Blue just like you can.
(dramatic music)
He looks at you,
all through his little
hazmat suit and says.
- (through speaker) So sneaky.
- We're not afraid of you.
- You should be.
(dramatic music)
You have no idea who I am.
- We know you're terrible,
we know you're awful.
We know you're rotted
and you've been rotten for 20 winters.
- Everything I do is for our kind.
I don't mind being misunderstood.
- Well help us understand then.
- Understand this.
- And he's going to
reach out with his hands
and you all feel it.
A grabbing of the Blue around you.
Sudden pressure and tension
and then all of the humans,
Sudden pressure and tension
and then all of the humans,
dead on the ground raise up.
Eyes glowing blue,
revenants under his control.
(all scream in horror and disgust)
(Erika laughing in delight)
(Various exclamations of awe and disgust)
- [Rashawn] This guy has been
fooling humans for 20 years?
- No no no, what you see
as all of this happens.
He begins to open up his suit.
He looks just like a normal man,
pulls his glasses off and then
(bones crack)
begins to lengthen.
His spine lengthening so his torso
is more stoat-like.
His arms pulling back into the flesh
and as his jaw cracks open
and his eyes roll back,
you see one small head peek out.
I'd like you all to meet
Phoebe and roll initiative.
- It's the nastiest thing I've ever seen.
- Carlos, what have they done to you?
- [Brennan And Jasper] Carlos!
- Oh, he only just got this job.
(Cast laughs at this timely inside joke)
- Ah, 17.
- [Izzy] They really laughed at that.
- All right, Tula with a 17.
Jaysohn?
- [Izzy] Here we go.
- 14.
(ominous music)
- Viola?
- 24.
- [Aabria] Let's go. Thorn?
- It's about time.
- 24.
- [Aabria] You also got 24?
- I got 24 as well.
(Cast cheers for their
serendipitous rolls)
- It's our anniversary.
- And we've already established as well
that we have the same dexterity.
- [Aabria] Yeah so you could either decide
or you could rollies for it.
- Or they could go together?
- Shut the f*ck up, no.
- 13.
- How'd you do Lila?
- 26.
- Let's go, finally! - [Rashawn] Think
I'm gonna bite if they get too close.
- Amazing, so who goes first?
- Me.
- All right, first things first.
I'm gonna hand you all your minis
and you can tell me where you land.
- Get absolute- oh my God I have lighting
coming out of my f*cking hands (screams).
- Your little d*ck bone.
- Look, she's got a d*ck bone.
- [Erika] I have my d*ck
bone and it's purple.
- [Jasper] (Palpatine impression)
Unlimited-! - [Brennan] Magic.
- Yay!
- [Brennan] You're doing magic.
- [Siobhan] We get one
day off and then minis.
- Viola.
- [Izzy] My little kitty.
- Oh look at that whip grass. (Cast
collectively praising their new minis)
- [Siobhan] Serrated and everything.
- Oh man.
- Jaysohn you're
doing a side kick!
- Yes, ah.
- [Erika] Oh my God, that's so sick.
- [Rashawn] Your forearms are so buff.
- [Siobhan] Yes, I'm so strong.
- Whoa.
Am I revenant mode?
- [Aabria] You're in revenant mode.
- [Brennan] Oh let's go.
- [Jasper] Hell yes.
- [Brennan] Mommy's dead.
- Oh my God.
Oh my God.
- These, ah.
- Y'all snapped.
- What if she had a hat?
- [Aabria] Please put
yourselves on the board
where you think you would have landed.
- [Jasper] Okay I was on top of the truck.
- [Aabria] Okay, no.
- Outside of the car.
- You said they got hit by the-
- On the ground.
- The ground being?
- The ground, yes.
- The very bottom?
- You can put yourself,
just not on a person.
- [Brennan] Humans don't have a
d*ck bone but they're about to.
(group laughs at the threat
of d*ck bone violence)
- [Jasper] They're about to get it.
- [Erika] Do you have a d*ck bone in you?
(gruffly) Would you like one?
- [Rashawn] Oh you're gonna.
- Grandma casts sounding.
(players laughing)
(Erika imitates pained grunt)
- Grandma pegs
- [Aabria] As we begin.
- Dr. Wenabocker
- Before we hit Initiative,
I need my revenants to
make a wisdom-saving throw.
- [Siobhan] Oh no.
- The DC is 20.
- Oh you have advantage
on wisdom saving throws.
- We have advantage.
- You have advantage
on wisdom saving throws
because of my speech.
- The most perfect spell.
- Oh my.
- Because of the motivation?
- Because of the motivational speech,
we have advantage for
wisdom-saving throws.
- [Aabria] 20.
- The DC is 20.
- And you had advantage and
you rolled a three and a seven.
- So that's a 16, I have Bless.
So I need to hit a four.
- [Jasper] Oh my God.
- You want to put it in the Box of Doom?
- Is that including the aura?
- I'm not close enough to
my sister get that aura.
- [Siobhan] But you are
close enough to yourself.
- [Izzy] Do you want to rethink?
- [Jasper] That's included in, yeah.
- [Izzy] Maybe where you fell?
- Okay.
- You have to roll a four.
- [Rashawn] Come on you can do this.
- [Jasper] You have to roll a four.
- [Erika] You've gotta be kidding me.
- It's happening.
It's gonna happen right here.
- [Aabria] I don't think he's gonna do it.
- Just throw it away, just throw it away.
- There's only a 25% chance.
The odds are 25 yes, 75 no.
- It's fine.
- You roll good all the time.
- Here we go.
- [Aabria] Okay. Noted.
- Well this is gonna be much more fun now.
- Oh no.
- Oh my God.
- What?
- Ah.
A six and a eight, I've got a one.
A nine, there is no way on earth
that I'm going to make a wisdom save.
- You all look around
and then you see both Ava
and Tula's eyes flare with
the same blue as the soldiers
and both you hear in your ears,
(echoing dual voiced) "k*ll them all."
And it's the only idea you've ever had.
First up is Lila.
- [Lila] I am going to cast Fireball.
- We're gonna play a Counterspell game.
As you see Phoebe reaches
out with that hand
that she puppets and casts Counterspell
to your fire spell.
- And I cast Counterspell as well.
- [Aabria] Okay. I need
you to roll for it.
- [Izzy] What do I roll?
- [Aabria] Let's see,
you need to hit a 15.
- [Brennan] What do you add?
- Three.
- So you need to hit a 12.
- [Aabria] All right, a 12
lets you get the Fireball off.
- 11.
- You reach out,
feeling so powerful in this space.
Right below you is the Blue and
(dramatic music)
it hasn't been a full
day since you fought.
You're running on fumes and you reach out
with the biggest batch of
energy you can and you watch
as almost carelessly,
Phoebe negates your spell
with a flick of her wrist.
Bonus action, movement.
- Can I Misty Step to
the back of her neck?
- I need you to feel how hard this is.
I'm gonna say no for now.
- [Izzy] Okay, can I just hide right here?
- [Aabria] Yeah, absolutely.
And you disappear from sight.
Okay, next up is Viola.
Thorn you're on deck.
- [Jasper] Okay
- [Rashawn] Great.
I want to use some
movement to get up on here.
I have 30 feet of movement
and if that's not enough
I'll Rabbit Hop.
- [Aabria] You can make it.
- [Rashawn] Yeah?
- [Aabria] Yeah.
- [Rashawn] Okay, so.
- We're gonna be
very, very generous with movement.
You guys all move very
quickly, you have Rabbit Hop.
You're able to get around this field.
- Okay, cool sick.
I'm up here and with my
whip for my first attack
I want to try to cut off this guy's hand.
Or his sword then because that's piercing-
No, slashing.
- [Aabria] Okay.
- Slashing damage, yeah.
- [Aabria] Make an attack role.
- Okay.
Come on baby, uh.
Let's see, plus six to a 16 to hit?
- 22?
- [Aabria] 22, oh.
Why did I hear 16?
- [All] 16 plus six.
- Cool, okay, vibes.
- [Rashawn] Sorry I just said
that in the craziest way.
- The stroke vibes are
so real right now, okay.
- 22 doesn't hit.
- [Aabria] No.
- I'm gone, bye.
- 22 absolutely hits.
- Yeah just leave.
Go home.
- [Izzy] I slit my own wrists,
- [Siobhan] I return to the forest.
- Just truly go home.
- I go into that mouth.
- Okay, 2D6 plus three of my dex
for the slashing damage,
it's gonna be nine plus three is 12.
- Nice.
- [Rashawn] Yes.
- [Aabria] 12 points of damage.
- Plus one D10, thank you, dear.
- [Jasper] You're welcome. Here you go.
- It's those ones.
- [Jasper] 6?
- Yes, plus another six.
So there's 18 damage.
- [Aabria] 18 points of damage.
- For the first attack, baby.
- Let's go.
- Oh yeah.
- Second one, we gonna do it again.
- Hell yeah.
- Another 16, yes okay.
- Let's go.
- So 22 to hit.
- 12 plus one D10, thanks, dear.
Plus, yes! Plus seven.
So 19.
- Okay, 19 total?
- Plus three.
- [Jasper] Plus for dex.
- [Aabria] 22?
- Yes.
- Amazing, 40 points of damage in a round.
- Let's go.
(Rashawn cheers)
- You slice him through and
you feel the tendons give way
as the g*n drops noticeably.
The soldier can't hold it
up with his other hand.
- Good, bonus action. I
don't want to use any spells.
So yeah, that's my.
- Watch, that's gonna fall.
CooL, just push it down a little more.
- We didn't bring Meat- MeatCat- MeatWolf.
- Meat cat?
- MeatWolf is not here.
- Does Lukas have a mini?
- [Siobhan] Lukas is here,
Lukas was in the car.
- I don't want Lukas to be here.
I don't want us to be here.
- He was in the car.
I know you don't want him to be here
but the fact is.
- [Izzy] But he was there.
- He is.
- Do you want Lukas
to be there?
- [Siobhan] Yeah.
- He'll die.
- [Rashawn] Oh no.
- Lukas can be my birthday mini.
(Cast protesting potential harm to Lukas)
- [Jasper] He has a hat.
- Sure, sure.
- [Siobhan] No.
- [Izzy] What if he finally
recites a poem for the first time?
- [Siobhan] Lukas is so far away.
- [Izzy] Not there.
- [Aabria] I get to-
- [Siobhan] I take it back.
- [Aabria] Are you done?
- I'm gonna throw a Divine Smite on that
because why the f*ck not, we're here.
Might as well.
- [Aabria] Okay.
- Okay so I'm gonna throw two D-
I'm gonna use my first
level spell slot for that
and then throw an extra
two D8 radiant damage
on top of what I've already done.
- Woohoo.
- Two strawberry candy
for super high strength.
- Unh and two D8 for that a*s.
So that's 10.
So 50.
- 50 f*cking damage.
Let's go.
- I'm collecting digits.
- We love it.
We love it.
Amazing.
All right, Thorn you're up.
- [Jasper] Just to double check,
what's the weather like today?
- [Izzy] Roll.
- Looking up through
the rubble, I know what you want to do
and there's no universe in
which I don't give it to you.
Weirdly cloudy.
- [Izzy] Give it to him.
- Cool so yeah, Thorn is
going to turn his palms
and his head up and this almost like,
worshiping kind of way.
The clouds open and I summon
down a huge lightning bolt
right on top of Phoebe's head
and I'm going to use my Channel Divinity.
So instead of rolling the four D10,
I do maximum damage.
- Right, do I get any kind of save?
- I think you get to roll.
The only card I don't
have is Call Lightning
which is funny.
- I think it is
a save for half.
- It is a save for half, yep.
- [Siobhan] Is it a dex save?
- What's the DC?
- Dex save of 16.
- Dex save of 16, with a
15 on the die makes it.
(Hand slams on table)
So half damage, full damage halved.
- Right, yeah. So 20?
- 20 points.
That'll f*cking do.
- Cast a spell, so I guess
probably just about moving.
I need to be up by my wife.
So Imma keep my concentration up here.
- As a legendary action,
you actually see Phoebe peeks out
and looks over her, his
shoulder at this soldier
and says (dual voiced) "Fire."
And this soldier is going
to spray in a line upward.
- [Jasper] I just put a spell-
- [Aabria] Hitting you both...(dice roll)
- [Rashawn] We're so dead.
- [Aabria] 23 to hit.
- [Rashawn] It hits.
- [Aabria] And a natural 20 to you.
(Jasper gasps)
- Babe.
- It's been
a pleasure everyone.
Been a pleasure.
- You're gonna take 13
points of piercing damage
and you take 28 points of piercing damage.
(Other players grimace at the high damage)
- I'm going to then, in which case
I'm going to use my reaction.
- But you also see that that spray of fire
also catches this soldier in the leg.
They seem unfazed because
they're already dead.
- Okay.
- But it chews through
their suit and their meat.
- We have those five temporary hit points.
- [Jasper] Yes, you do have
five temporary hit points.
- So you guys now will have advantage
with attacks against that guy right?
- Because we've taken,
We just get advantage
on our next attack, it's not specific.
- Oh any next attack?
- Yeah.
It's just your next attack,
you now have advantage.
- Rad.
- I'll use my bonus action
to use Wrath of the Storm.
Since I've got the storm up I'll
- Sure.
- Say that thematically
that as I get hit, I (grunt) like lash out
and as I do that another
bolt of lightning comes out
and hits this guy.
- [Aabria] This one?
- [Jasper] Yeah, he
needs to make a dex save.
DC 14.
- Five on the dice, misses.
- Yes.
- Yes, okay.
So he takes a full 11
points of lightning damage.
- Amazing.
- Okay, and I took 28.
Ooh.
- I have 69 hit points.
(Several utterances of
'Nice' from the cast)
- Hey, I started with 69 hit points.
- [Siobhan] Nice.
- I don't have that anymore.
- Maybe.
- Phoebe is up.
Tula, you're on deck.
Phoebe is going to reach forward.
- (dual voiced) Sure lightning.
We can all do lightning.
Is gonna reach out, a bolt.
(lightning cracks) (dice rolls)
- [Aabria] Does a 14 hit.
- [Rashawn] Yes.
- That's exactly my armor class.
- Wait what?
- My armor class is 13.
- Okay.
- We don't have armor on.
- This is why.
- No you're good.
- I told you to wear, wear
your armor when you go out.
- You both take another
13 points of damage
as a bolt of lightning issues
from Phoebe's human hand
and then Phoebe looks down at Ava
and down at Tula and says,
"k*ll them quickly."
Tula, you're up.
Who do I understand to be meant by them?
Any living beings in here?
- No, any stoats.
- Any stoats?
- [Izzy] Don't k*ll yourself.
- Brennan.
There is no universe in
which you can bend this
to attack Phoebe.
- There's no way,
you gotta do it dude.
- [Siobhan] Come on.
- You gotta do it.
- k*ll your son.
- [Izzy] k*ll your son!
- [Siobhan] Fight me, Mommy.
- [Jasper] k*ll your
darlings, k*ll your darlings.
- [Izzy] k*ll your son.
- [Brennan] You literally asked for it.
- I appreciate that you tried
to bend my cool thing but no
it's okay I need you to k*ll,
not the other revenants.
Like an alive Stoat.
- [Izzy] Phoebe's like.
- That is not under my
control, that is not me.
- An alive Stoat.
An alive, non Phoebe Stoat.
- Okay.
- Certainly narrows it down.
- Sorry Lukas.
- The demon.
- He's so in our way.
- Honestly, if I can go for
Lukas I'll go for Lukas.
- Do it.
- Oh my God.
- Do you think I would stop you, no.
- Hey Lukas, happy birthday
and I'm gonna cast Guiding Bolt.
But I'll go five, 10, 15,
20, 25, 30 I'll get up here.
But I'll go five, 10, 15,
20, 25, 30 I'll get up here.
That's like, most difficult.
- I'm gonna say,
the way you came forward would suggest
that Ava with her reach weapon
could get an attack of opportunity.
Would you have thought in that moment.
Oh no, she wouldn't think
to hit you. So you're good.
Same side.
- Would I have gotten
an opportunity attack?
She just passed me.
(dramatic music)
- Do you understand in this moment
that your mother is your enemy?
- Did I hear k*ll them all?
- Nope.
- Then I guess not.
- If you want to make a check about it.
- I guess I'll do, can
I do a perception check?
- I'll let you do an insight check
against your mother's deception.
- Insight.
(thoughtful music)
- Is she lying?
- That is a nine.
- I mean if you want me
to just set a normal DC.
- I got a three.
- But what's your deception, oh yeah.
- Yeah.
- No, no.
I got a three, my deception.
- Oh your deception is
one, oh I got a nine.
Against her three.
- You can do a hit against your mom.
- Can I grapple my mom?
- Sure.
- Great.
- You're doing incredibly.
- [Izzy] Maybe we can snap you out of it.
- [Brennan] Oh.
- [Siobhan] Geez.
- That's a Nat one.
- Okay, no I don't want that.
That's bad, okay.
All right, you grapple me?
- I, yeah.
- Okay, you can still attack.
- I mean it's better that I roll better
than a nat one which is a two.
- [Aabria] Yes (laughs)
- Wow, wow.
- What is wrong with you, Mom,
wake up. I'm just shaking her.
Stop it, what are you doing?
- The only thought you've ever had.
- Nat 20.
- [Izzy] k*ll them.
(thoughtful music)
- Does a 30 hit?
- Jesus.
- [Jasper] f*ck me.
- What do you think?
- Oh crap.
(Aabria laughs)
(dramatic music)
- This is the most fun I've ever had
in my whole life and
everyone seems really sad
and quiet.
- [Siobhan] He's rolling so well.
- It's the quietest group has been.
- I know, it's.
- Remember when we started
the episode and you're like (stammers).
- Dawg is silent
in the club right now
- [Erika] Someone bring me Taki's!
(Aabria laughs)
- [Erika] I need a Taki.
- 25 I assume hits.
- Yes.
- Bonus action, Spiritual Weapon.
I attack my son.
- Oh my God.
- Okay, okay.
We're going to attack with
advantage on Spiritual Weapon
which is dealing 1D8
plus ability modifier.
Does 22 hit?
- Yeah, why do you have three attacks?
- Because I'm bonus
action Spiritual Weapon.
- Oh.
- You create a floating, spectral weapon.
When you can cast a spell, you
can make a melee spell attack
against a creature within
five feet of the weapon.
On a hit, the target takes force damage
equal to 1D8 plus spell modifier.
So we'll set that D8 aside.
So that's gonna be that
and then we're gonna go
2D10 for the first hit
and we're using third-level spell slots.
That's four D8 damage for each smite.
That's our first one lined up.
- You think I could let him go
and k*ll my friend.
- No you did the right thing.
- I did the right thing.
I'm grappling my mommy,
she's going crazy.
- Yeah, yeah.
- 67 points of damage.
- Oh my God.
(dramatic music)
- [Rashawn] Are you still up?
- I'm still up.
- What's 81 minus 67?
- Not enough, 24?
- Okay I can do the math.
- 14, you have
14 hit points left.
- I stayed Oath of
Redemption for people at home
that watch the Adventuring Party.
- Incredible.
Full turn?
- That's my full turn, I'm
grappled, I'm restrained.
- You still have a wisdom-saving throw
to shake off this effect.
Now I do believe you still have advantage,
do you have inspiration?
- Oh yes, okay thank God.
- The DC is dropped by one.
So it's DC 19 wisdom save.
- That's a 21, I have a 30.
- (relieved) Oh.
- Mom wake up.
- [Aabria] And after you
do all of that damage.
- Ah yeah, I mean I do the vast majority
of your hit points of damage
in one round and then come to.
- Mama.
- I don't even know if I can perform
what's going on in her head.
It's ah, the most hollowed
out a person has ever been.
- Does she know?
- If I come out of it
and see my bloody son.
- [Aabria] Yeah oh yeah.
- With my, I can feel
blood in my mouth, yeah.
- [Aabria] Yep, okay.
- It's okay, we just have to fight.
Don't do the thing where
you fall into the thing.
(panicked, shaky breathing)
- [Aabria] I can hit you guys-
- Don't make me do
a karate trick to
entertain you while you're.
- We'll give it a shot.
- [Siobhan] Oh no, what are you doing?
- This guy in the back is going to release
a cloud of gas, not
knowing how far he can get
and I don't think he
catches anyone but you see,
this soldier in the
back just starts pumping
a low-lying fog that creeps around
and you see it start to
pool around your ankles
but you don't breathe it in
and no one's in the area of effect.
My other g*n guy gets to go now.
- [Siobhan] I haven't gone yet.
- Oh yeah.
Jaysohn's a 14, so that's a tie.
I'll give it to you, you
can go before my g*n guy.
- Can I do a perception
check on this situation?
- What are you trying to perceive?
- I want to perceive, if I hit
the body will it do anything
or do I have to climb up
there and get that head?
- [Aabria] Give me a perception check.
- We cut MeatWolf's head
off and it grew back scary.
- 13.
(anticipatory music)
- [Aabria] I think for better
or for worse you realize,
you can do the most damage to Phoebe
but all of this is Phoebe.
- Okay.
- Yeah, if you hit her
in her little Stoat head
it will be extra effective
but all of this is Phoebe at this point.
- Okay so I am going to see
- Okay so I am going to see
if I can get up to her.
- Let's go.
- [Siobhan] My movement plus my dash
is 80 feet.
- Yep, yeah.
- Can I do this?
This looks like 80 feet to me.
- You can make it.
- Here we go.
- Again, the problem
is not you guys being able to move.
- Great.
- So get up there.
- Okay and then I'm
going to do two attacks.
- Amazing.
(dramatic music)
- And the first one I have advantage
because I lost my temporary hit points.
And thank God I do, that is
a 17 plus nine plus four.
And thank God I do, that is
a 17 plus nine plus four.
26, 30 yeah.
- To hit?
Yeah.
- [Siobhan] Yeah.
Great.
- That's gonna hit.
- What do you think-?
- [Jasper] We're in a little.
- When you?
- I don't know,
it's the Big Bad.
- Yeah it's a little guy.
In a mouth.
- Look, listen, I don't know,
the other guys were really hard to hit.
I don't know, my mom just beat me up.
- Okay fair, bless you.
Not 30 hard to hit.
- I don't know.
And that is a 24 to hit.
- Yeah, also hits.
- Okay, great.
And I'm also gonna do a
Stunning Strike on the.
- [Aabria] Oh good catch.
- And the first one
and if it doesn't hit, on the second one.
So two Stunning Strikes.
- Okay, two attempts.
- They're DC17 con save.
- Okay.
(dramatic music)
First one, 14 plus.
14 plus four is an 18.
Second one.
- [Siobhan] (calculating damage) Is 19.
- 18 plus four is 22.
- So neither of the Stunning Strike?
- Neither of them work.
- Okay, but I did 40 points of damage.
- g*dd*mn, okay.
- [Jasper] Yee, Okay.
- Oh I forgot
my sneak attack damage, oh I'm so stupid.
- No you're good, hey
it's still your turn.
- It's still my turn so I'm just.
- [Aabria] You're doing great!
- Smart, you're really smart.
- Thank you, thank you.
- You're the smartest little boy.
(overlapping chatter about
how smart Siobhan is)
- Little guy.
That's an extra eight damage.
- Damn, yeah that's not nothing.
Holy sh*t.
- What does it look like
as Jaysohn absolutely unloads on Phoebe
poking out of this human's mouth?
- I think I'm gonna say let
my mom, what are you doing?
You're so weird.
(group laughs)
- And a couple of those
points are psychic damage.
Because any time an adult
gets dunked on by a child,
it just f*cking sucks a little bit.
Amazing and you stay up there.
- Next up is my gunner,
who are we aiming for?
- sh**t at me.
- Yeah, right?
- Just try
not to hit your boss.
- He'll take the shot.
- Ah sh*t.
- 15 plus 5, 20 to hit?
- Yes.
- Do you have anything to do about it?
- Deflect m*ssile?
- (shocked gasp) Fun!
- What did you just say?
- I'm just gonna catch a b*llet.
- Amazing.
- Full Mr. Miyagi.
- [Erika] Yes.
- Nine points.
- Oh yeah,
I reduce by 1D10 plus nine.
So I catch it, I catch the b*llet.
I'm not gonna throw it back
because I don't have many ki points left
but I'm just gonna throw it.
- Just throw it away?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, this gunner goes up
and instead of just spraying
like they have before,
lines up a shot, absolutely
catches you in the sights
and then just a little Stoat hand
grabs it out of the sky
and I think you crush the b*llet.
(Erika gasps)
So it explodes over your head
and over Phoebe's head
and then you just throw the
casing down onto the ground.
- Yeah.
- That's rad as sh*t.
- Yeah.
- Amazing.
- I'm fast, b*tch.
- [Erika] Well hard.
- That was rad as well.
Next up is Ava.
- k*ll them all.
- [Aabria] k*ll them all.
- Jaysohn had just said something about
don't do the thing where
you spill into the thing.
I look down underneath my feet
and do I see and feel Blue?
- You do feel Blue.
(Erika grunts) You really
want to take out the ground?
- That seems like the
best way to k*ll them.
- Make an attack roll.
- That make them like me.
- [Aabria] Make an attack roll.
- Okay.
I'm attacking recklessly.
- Sure.
- 21.
- [Aabria] 21 hits.
- 28 points of damage.
- Sure.
- Then second attack.
That is 23.
- Hits, it's the ground.
- 23.
- Okay, we're up to 51 points.
- Okay.
Do I see any reaction from the ground?
Is it starting to give way?
- It is.
- I'm going to action surge
and attack again.
Oh, that's a Nat 20.
- Amazing.
- Just,
it's just max damage?
- Roll your damage and then
double everything on the dice
and add your like bonuses at the end.
(dramatic music)
- 32.
- Another 30, holy sh*t.
- [Jasper] Yikes.
- 16, 24.
- To hit or damage?
- To hit.
- It hits, the ground.
- Yes.
(dice clatter)
Oh.
26.
- To hit or damage?
- Damage.
- Okay, holy sh*t.
- Wow.
- [Rashawn] So strong.
- 109.
- 109?
- Yep.
Your grandmother, this
normally stooped woman.
You see the eyes flash and flare
and she searches through that command
to find an edge case
and then feels a sort
of releasing of pressure
as for whatever reason, this is allowed.
And you watch her put
109 damage into the floor
and all of you hear Phoebe begin to laugh.
- (dual voiced) Saves me
the trouble, thank you.
- As another reactor is suddenly
revealed under the rubble
and under the weight and
pressure of Ava's hit,
it begins to glow a
brighter blue and pulse.
And begin to meltdown.
- Good, this was the plan.
- And I gesture to Viola, now.
- No, no.
I'm not coming with you.
- [Aabria] (dual voiced) This is it.
I think you see it now.
If we're able to send
all this into the sky,
it will irradiate the world.
The Blue will be for everyone
and the ones that survive,
our kind will survive.
And the human threat will be no more.
- I need you to make a wisdom save. DC19.
With advantage still.
- Come on.
Oh I do not make it.
- You feel the effects still hold you
but all of you feel this fresh
pulse of Blue around you.
It suffuses you and fills
you and bolsters you.
Everyone takes the effects of a long rest
as we continue.
(Players cheering excitedly)
- [Siobhan] I get my hit points back?
- Not hit points.
(Siobhan groans in disappointment)
- [Rashawn] You are the nicest lady.
- It's a recharge
on all of your abilities.
- [Erika] Oh my God.
- That's a good point
because I did say that.
- I get Action surge again!
- But I get my
ki points back.
- Yes, you get your ki points back.
You get your action surge back.
You get your spell slots back.
- Oh just, oh yes thank God.
- [Aabria] Everything but your HP.
- (fake NY accent) Maybe this
Phoebe chick's got a good idea.
- (fake NY accent) Maybe
she's right you know guys?
- She's making a lot of good points.
- (fake NY accent) She's
making a meatsuit of a guy
and I could use one myself. - (fake
NY accent)I could use me one of those.
- (fake NY accent) I've been
asking you for a meatsuit.
- For a couple of years now. Jesus.
- And it's at this point.
- What are you, Lady Gaga?
(Panicked rejection of what
Aabria is bringing out)
- [Rashawn] Bada bing.
- What, Tara?
What's that?
- Oh it's the-
- It's Doctor Steel.
- Doctor Steel, Doctor Steel.
- Steel.
- As Doctor Steel runs in.
- [Izzy] What?
- [Jasper] Superhero landing.
- [Rashawn] Oh yeah.
- [Aabria] There we go.
- [Izzy] Shut the f*ck up.
- [Jasper] So good.
- [Aabria] You have an ally
on the field.
- [Jasper] Good, let's go, okay.
- She comes in and goes.
Oh God, oh God, oh you were right.
You were right, oh are you all okay?
I don't know what to do,
that's what what, what?
Jaysohn.
- And you know without even knowing,
she looks gagged, yeah.
- It's bad up here!
- Stoatvengers assemble.
- We are back up at the top of the round.
Lila is up, Viola's on deck.
- Okay this is different,
okay okay okay, okay.
- It's fun watching a little
pulse of energy go back to you
because you guys were like.
- f*ck well anyway. This was bad
and I don't like that we did it.
- Do I get my reaction back?
- Yes.
- Yeah, yes.
- Aabria? This is rad as tell.
- This is so f*cking cool.
- Let's f*cking go, kick some a*s, babies.
- This is crazy, hooky mookie.
- Big stuff's coming out.
- [Aabria] I'm rooting for you.
- Yeah.
- Fireball, fourth level.
- Okay, you know it's
about to happen again?
- Counterspell, Counterspell.
- Yeah, okay.
- Cool.
- I have this crazy idea.
- Sure, sure sure.
- I'm gonna move back.
- Hell yes.
- So I'm out of the range of Counterspell
but I'm still within the range.
I'm.
- That's such a good idea.
- [Aabria] Amazing, you
back up but I will say,
Ava does get an opportunity
to attack against you.
One swing of her baculum as you go.
- And don't I have a thing
against opportunity attacks?
- That's only if you
use the disengage action
and then.
- Just use your normal.
- Would love to actually
bonus action disengage.
- Damn, perfect.
- Wow.
- Ava can no longer get an opportunity
attack against you.
- Can I go under Tara's legs?
- Yes!
I was just about to suggest that.
- Like here, yeah?
- [Aabria] Keep going,
a little bit further.
- Further, just behind.
- A little bit.
- There you go, just get
real tight under the gooch
where you can kind of poke out.
- And I'm actually gonna
just actually hit Phoebe
low enough so I don't hit my brother.
- Thank you.
- Hopefully.
- Yeah.
- With Fireball.
- You'll have to hit really low.
- If I were to put fire
on the nuclear waste,
- If I were to put fire
on the nuclear waste,
we would all die?
I don't know how science works.
- Just a general intelligence check.
- Okay.
19.
- Don't hit it with fire.
- Okay.
- Don't do that.
- Don't hit it with fire, don't
hit it with f*cking water.
- Do it.
- Don't.
- So when you say "don't do it,"
we're also probably "don't be
in a room with this going on."
You know, you're not
supposed to be close to lava
but if you're already close...
- Right, but you guys
are kind of lava proof
but that thing isn't "get
f*cking worse" proof.
- Yeah, yeah yeah yeah.
- [Izzy] Nice.
- Good point.
- Okay, yeah. Fireball.
- [Aabria] What's my DC?
- [Izzy] I believe 15 is my DC.
- f*ck, I sorry.
With an 18 on the dice.
- Half as much damage.
- But it's still
gonna be plenty.
Also because you are
catching actual Phoebe mouth,
you're doing extra damage.
So even though it's
halved, kind of evens out.
- Oh okay.
- So go ahead
and roll your damage.
- Okay great, it's still 8D6.
- Let's go.
- I may need some more D6.
- Here we go.
- [Aabria] You want some D6s?
- Send your kids to camp.
- Send your kids to camp, guys.
- What are we doing?
- Send your kids to camp.
- Is that what you call it?
- Yeah.
- [Aabria] How many do you need?
- Oh I have enough, I'm so sorry
but I really appreciate it.
- [Cast] (disappointed) Oh.
- Sorry, I loved that,
I loved that so much.
(dice clatter)
(anticipatory piano music)
- Math.
- One.
- One.
- Two.
- Three.
- Two.
- Five.
- Three.
- Eight.
- Four.
- 12.
- Five.
- 17.
- Five.
- 23.
- Six.
- [Aabria] Nope, 22.
- [Siobhan] 28.
- Phoebe is looking pretty f*cking rough.
- Okay.
(dramatic music)
- Okay so that's your bonus
action and your action
and your movement.
You good?
- Oh I get one more D6
for each slot level above third.
- What level did you cast it at?
- [Izzy] Four.
- Okay, sweet.
- That's another six.
- [Aabria] Nice.
- Lair action.
- Oh it's okay.
- Huh?
- It's okay, you don't have to do that.
- I don't have to?
(Brennan laughs)
- [Izzy] We're good.
- [Siobhan] No, thank you.
- That threw me off so f*cking much.
- The authority of I was like,
like that, whatever that was.
- [Aabria] Yeah, yeah yeah.
- Made me be like, Aabria, Jasper says no.
- Yeah, oh I'm so, can you tell
him I'm so- - It's the accent.
- Yeah, f*cking British
accent confers authority.
- Came from such a deep sense of fear.
That was where I was coming from.
- Yes, exactly the accent.
It comes from a deep sense of fear.
- I've never seen,
someone who's being faced
with f*cking death and
ruin with a voice of like,
(gentle) "I'm gonna send
this back to the kitchen
because this was not very good."
- [Brennan] This is not.
- Yeah, no.
- Yeah, no thank you.
- No thank you.
- It's a no sadly.
- Lair action,
it's gonna do it.
You all see Phoebe reach
out with those hands
and pulls up another massive chunk
of the rubble covering the reactor.
- Oh hell yes.
- The suit
is really actually very upsetting.
- I need everyone in here
to now make a constitution save.
The DC is 16.
- Ooh.
- I have a
plus two cause I'm near you?
- Yes sir.
- [Erika] I have a.
- Bless still active
on Viola.
- [Erika] Let's see how this goes.
- I have a plus three to con saves.
- [Aabria] Beautiful.
- [Rashawn] You said wisdom?
- [Aabria] Con.
- Constitution.
- f*cking sh1tting f*ck.
- Agreed.
- Just raise your hand
if you rolled below a 17.
(dramatic music)
All four of you are gonna take
10 points of poison damage.
And you feel physically sickened.
Like this is the proportion
of the Blue in the environment
that you know made your warren fall ill.
Even you are overwhelmed
with the sheer force of this
and I think in this moment
you realize that like,
Phoebe's aim of irradiating the earth,
the stoats may not even survive
but she's so focused on it.
She's willing to risk
everything to make it happen.
- All right, Viola you're up.
- Let's go.
- Thorn you're on deck.
- Yep.
- I will use Channel Divinity.
- [Aabria] Ooh.
- [Siobhan] Nice.
- To using a Turn the Unholy.
As an action, present my holy symbol.
Speak a prayer, each fiend
or undead that I can see
within 30 feet must make a
DC12 wisdom-saving throw.
- [Jasper] Okay.
- Am I within?
- [Aabria] You are not.
You are outside of the area of effect.
Beautiful, what's the DC?
- 12.
- Wisdom save.
I'm rolling very well and it feels bad.
- Okay.
- I sorry.
Will let you know if you attack
his other hand one more time
he will not be able to wield that way.
- Sick, okay so that's what I shall do.
I'm gonna move, can I run up his body
and slice his arm?
- You sure can.
- Sure, okay cool.
- [Izzy] ♪ Maybe do you have a g*n? ♪
- Okay, we'll make an attack.
- [Brennan] ♪ Maybe do you have ♪
a full-sized human g*n. ♪
♪That sprays smoke and b*ll*ts, ♪
I don't get it. ♪
- This one has a big gas tank on his back.
- Okay.
- Oh that would make sense.
- [Izzy] I don't know.
- Ugh that one won't, I know.
I know, dear.
- Oh is this the first
time that you've attacked
since taking damage.
- Yes.
- Oh you get advantage.
- [Izzy] Advantage.
- Okay so that was just the first one.
- After the first round.
So that was the first
roll, then the second roll.
- [Aabria] Good looking out.
- [Jasper] Sweetie.
- Stress.
- Still plus six, no?
- Plus this D4, thanks sis, which is four.
Is that enough.
- 18 exactly hits.
- Yes.
- Okay, okay, okay.
(Jasper and Brennan cheering Rashawn on)
- Go to sleep.
- [Rashawn] One, two.
(group laughs)
- What did he put down?
- Okay.
So.
- Are you okay?
- No.
- We're gonna add
plus three to this, so six.
- You're good buddy.
- Plus three is nine.
Plus one D10 which is gonna be this guy.
Plus a two, so what did I say?
10, 12.
Damage, that was just the first attack.
- Okay.
- So I'm gonna come at him again.
Uhn, (enthusiastically) yes.
I crit! 19.
(group cheers)
- Yes.
- Yes, I crit on 19s now.
- You gotta throw, throw
a big f*cking spell slot.
- Smite, smite, smite.
- Freaking k*ll him!
- Second level, divine smite.
So that's three D8?
- [Aabria] Yes.
- [Siobhan] Yes.
- Okay.
- Second level is three D8.
Third level's four D8.
- I don't have a third level spell.
- So second level's three D8.
- But they're against undead,
so I feel like you get?
- Do you not, you just,
all your sh*t just recharged.
- Oh they're undead.
- It's four D8.
- Four D8 and then are
we doubling the dice?
- That's eight D8.
- [Jasper] That's eight D8s
you have to roll.
- Then what's
your weapon damage?
- My weapon damage with the whip
is two D6 plus my.
- [Siobhan] Plus one D10.
- Plus three, plus that one D10.
- So it's four D6 plus
two D10 plus eight D8?
(group screams in excitement)
(Players cheering for Rashawn)
- What do I roll? Say it again, Brennan.
- I am keeping track.
I am keeping track of
your damage, I got it.
- What was it?
- Okay, so these are the D8s.
These are the D8s.
- Just the D8s.
- Okay.
- That was a six, there you go.
- Eight and eight, 16, plus another eight.
Plus six, plus four.
- 30, 34.
- Plus three.
- 37.
- Plus three.
- 40.
- Plus one.
- 41.
- Just from the smite.
- Okay and these are the D6s
and the two D10s.
- Okay.
(dramatic music)
I don't know whose dice are who.
- That's fine, that's fine, that's fine.
- We'll figure it out.
(Jasper cheering for the roll)
- Yes-uh look at that roll.
- Okay six and six, five.
- Gambling!
- Five, another six.
- So.
- 17.
- [Siobhan] Let's go to Vegas right now.
- Right now.
- [Jasper] That's a nine.
- [Rashawn] Nine.
- [Jasper] So hold on a sec.
- [Erika] 26?
- [Aabria] I bet you'll be
fine if we did crack right now.
- [Izzy] I wanna do crack.
- [Siobhan] Let's do crack in Vegas.
- 31.
- 31.
- 32 on top of the?
- 32, what's your modifier?
- [Jasper] Yeah, that's with the modifier.
- Okay 32 and the other one was 41?
- Yes.
- So 73.
- [Jasper] (ecstatic) Woo!
- On a hand?
- On a hand, 73.
- How's the hand looking?
- Off.
- It doesn't matter, doesn't
matter how the hand looks.
This wasn't about the hand.
- You husk of a waste of space
and I hack off the arm and
then I climb up the shoulder
and I chop off at the elbow
and I chop onto the head
and I slice off the arm and
I slice off the other arm.
I freaking debone this m*therf*cker
and I spatchcock his a*s.
I lay him out, I cut his spine
and then I push down on his breastplate
and he's f*cking flattened out.
He'll cook in 40 minutes.
(group screaming intensely)
- [Erika] Oh my God.
(Group continues screaming and cheering)
- My sister just invented cooking!
She just invented cooking.
- We're proficient in cooking tools
because your daughter
just invented how to cook.
- [Jasper] Oh my.
- To serve man, let's go.
(Erika laughs appreciatively
at the 'serve' pun)
- How long have you been
waiting to use that one?
- Forever.
f*ck yes.
- Oh it's about freaking time.
- This massive human goes
down and you ride him down,
crashing into the ground.
Amazing.
- Okay, bonus action.
(group laughs and screams at
the fact there's still more)
- There's still your second attack.
That was your first attack.
- And now you sh**t a g*n.
- sh**t the g*n!
- I mean it is.
- Second attack, sh**t a g*n?
- You do get one free
object interaction per turn.
You could pick up a g*n.
- [Jasper] Can you pick this up?
- I don't think.
I'll say. - Run, hop off,
kick the trigger and sh**t.
- [Erika] Yes, yes.
- You can kick the trigger as
you ride this undead human down.
Depending on what you're aiming for,
I will set the DC for this.
A bad guy is a DC 15.
A specific bad guy is a DC20.
Called shot on one individual is a DC25.
- I'm gonna sh**t at a bad guy.
- [Aabria] Okay.
- [Siobhan] Great.
- So you're just gonna give
me a straight attack roll
because essentially you
are doing an unarmed strike
to the trigger and just
trying to time it right.
- Okay.
(exhale) Come on.
Uh.
(group cheers a critical roll)
(dramatic music)
- (screaming) That's. My. Wife!
- This is the best day.
(group laughs)
Of my f*cking life.
- [Aabria] Incredible.
- Oh my goodness.
- [Siobhan] What a f*cking round!
- [Aabria] This is dope as sh*t.
- You're going to win an Emmy.
- This is the-
(group laughs)
- This is the dopest sh*t.
This is the dopest sh*t.
- A 19 and 20.
- [Aabria] Let me describe this.
- Thank you, everyone, for
explaining rules and keeping time.
- Okay we're here in the Dimensional Dome
and we've just seen history get made.
- Viola.
- Yes.
- You finish murdering this undead soldier
- You finish murdering this undead soldier
and as he falls, as the g*n falls,
you look over your shoulder
and you see in a split
second, an opportunity.
Viola, your biggest fear,
especially now that you've been here
is that your seeking of power,
your desire for control was something bad.
- Yeah.
- No, it's because you knew
that if you could control a
specific set of circumstances
you could change the world
and you look over your shoulder
and slide back towards the
trigger and line up your shot
and catch the tank.
(impact on metal)
(dramatic music)
And then you see
a flash of orange red
as a massive detonation.
You lose sight of this person.
- [Rashawn] Okay.
- [Aabria] Entirely.
And when the smoke clears,
it was as if he was never there.
(Rashawn exhales and laughs)
- Wild.
- He's also going to take a ton of damage.
I'll let you roll it.
(Rashawn and Jasper slap five)
I'll let you roll it.
So this is gonna be, phew, Then
we're gonna have to resolve.
- Okay.
- A very unfortunate
circumstance in a second.
- Oh yeah.
- Okay.
- Jaysohn.
- Oh, RIP baby.
- Yeah.
RIP little Lukas.
Because it's a crew-, because it's a crit.
I'm gonna say that this is three D10
but because you crit,
you double the damage.
- Okay.
- Six D10 to the other two well,
I would say humans but we
can't call Phoebe a human.
- [Jasper] Yeah there you
go, six D10s. There we go.
- Oh my God, I'm so hot.
So warm right now.
- [Erika] Yeah.
- [Jasper] Wild.
(dice clatter)
- Before you say anything, hold on.
So I've written down
Phoebe's remaining hit points
just so you know.
It's a little Brennan
Lee Mulligan special.
- [Rashawn] Oh my God.
- How much damage did you do?
- 40.
(dramatic music)
- [Brennan] If it's under 40...
- Aah 33!
(group screaming and cheering)
- You k*lled four humans in one round.
- I'm a mother, I'm a mother.
Okay we're having three kids.
- Viola.
- g*dd*mn.
- Is there anything
you want to add to.
What is Viola thinking
and seeing and feeling in this moment?
- Viola has seen her
family go through so much
and as the baby of the adults,
she's fallen to the wayside,
let other people take the lead
and seen people be so
tired, so frustrated.
So out of touch that they just
don't even want to move on.
Someone so passionate for their people,
even when they don't agree with them.
So curious, so adventurous
that what could I possibly do?
Be in the right place at the
right m*therf*cking time.
Blow!
(group applauds Rashawn as they should)
- [Siobhan] Damn.
(group applauds)
- Amazing.
You see the Phoebe monster
crash to the ground
You see the Phoebe monster
crash to the ground
and though this soldier had not
taken enough damage to fall,
without Phoebe, keeping him up
with her mental powers, he
crumples back to the ground.
Dead.
(noise whooshes)
The battle is won.
You just hear, truly so much screaming
from Doctor Steel.
What the f*ck?
Did you just kick a g*n?
What the f*ck was that?
What the f*ck is this?
Why were they dead?
What is happening?
- You ride, oh.
Hold on.
- Jaysohn, jump.
- Don't say it.
- No, we do have to resolve that
because there were two
stoats in the blast area.
I don't think it's fair.
Do you have any reactions in your kit
that would allow you to abjure damage?
- I have Slow Fall.
(tense music)
- This isn't falling damage.
This is fire damage.
- I have Uncanny Dodge
but I also only have four hit points.
(dramatic music)
- Let's live for the drama then.
The fireball clears, the smoke clears
and the Phoebe-Dr. Wenabocker monster lies
in a heap on the ground and on top of it.
What's your total HP?
- 76.
- 76, okay.
So this wouldn't have auto-k*lled you.
You see a unmoving little
karate boy slumped on top.
You see a unmoving little
karate boy slumped on top.
Ava, your psychic hold has dropped.
- Where am I?
(dramatic music)
Ooh, Jaysohn?
Jaysohn honey?
Oh girls, girls?
- I'm gonna rush over.
- [Izzy] I go too.
- He was in the,
he was on top.
- I will heap, just pour.
- I (clap) Spare the Dying.
- Pour healing magic into Jaysohn.
- Jaysohn, do you want ice cream?
- [Siobhan] Yes.
- You don't,
no there's no.
No, you know what, no.
- [Jasper] You didn't want to learn-
- This far but no further, no ice cream.
- It was an ice cream truck.
(Aabria cackles at the justification)
- You know what, f*ck me.
Nicely done.
- [Jasper] It was, it was.
- [Aabria] Thank you, sir.
- Why does the nuclear base,
have an ice cream truck?
- Because everyone deserves a cool treat.
- It's pretty hot in there, honestly.
- Those workers work really hard
and their bosses sometimes
give them a little gift.
- In two rounds I get
Jaysohn back to full.
- Did we do it?
(twinkly music)
- Uh-oh.
- Bonus action, Healing Word to Lukas.
- If he's not disintegrated.
- What's the range on Healing Word?
- I believe it's either 30 or 60.
- [Aabria] I think it's 60.
Let's see, there we go.
- [Brennan] It is 60.
- You cannot reach Lukas from here.
- I will leave my son in
his grandmother's arms
and rush over there to
give Lukas a big hand.
- You come over
and you see falling, sort
of slumped within an I-bar.
Little Lukas, didn't
really get to contribute.
- I'm gonna go and cast
Cure Wounds on him.
Go.
- Give me an insight check.
Against your own deception.
(dice clatter)
- I succeed, I insight myself.
- As you sort of are grabbing
and lifting up Lukas,
you can feel and see
and sort of above game,
his first death save was a natural one.
- Okay.
- He is so close to going
and yet you can't help
but see how peaceful
he looks in this moment.
That yes, he's young and this is unfair
but he looks like he's finally at rest
and that's something in
this moment you realize
was robbed from you when you laid down
on that snowy day.
Maybe part of you just
sought rest and respite
from the ever-crushing weight
of your responsibilities to your family.
Tula, it was duty that brought you back.
Your responsibility to others
and maybe there's a part of you that knows
and maybe resents that duty
didn't bring Geoffrey back too.
and maybe resents that duty
didn't bring Geoffrey back too.
(twinkly music)
Do you cast Cure Wounds?
Or do you give Lukas the rest
you did not reserve for yourself?
- When I was walking back,
(somber music)
it was the day that Geoffrey,
that I had found him dead.
It was the day my mother
asked me where I had been
and why hadn't I stopped it?
And I was on my way to tell my children
And I was on my way to tell my children
that Geoffrey was gone.
And there was a feeling in my heart
And there was a feeling in my heart
that each heartbeat was too much to bear
and so I started to wish
that I would just have
a little bit of rest
before the next heartbeat.
And they got farther and farther
apart until I fell asleep.
And when I came back, it
was a sense of obligation
to my family that I think
I have always assumed
was duty or obligation.
But I think that in this moment,
watching my sister k*ll three humans
and a Stoat monster in mere seconds,
that maybe power's not all bad.
Seeing my children embrace the curiosity
and adventurousness of their father
and having them find the information
that has saved us.
My mother telling me to embrace change
and my sister's husband
being right about harnessing the Blue.
Obligation and duty is
what I said kept me here.
Obligation and duty is
what I said kept me here.
It's what I thought.
Geoffrey died putting his
head up above the snow
so that the humans could
see his eyes and his nose,
or at least that's what
I chose to blame on him.
But really he was just unlucky
and sometimes you get
unlucky in this world
and I think that when I look at it
and I think that when I look at it
and think about seeing
and looking for things,
curiosity.
(pensive music)
It's not obligation,
it's believing that you
can put your head up
and look for a day where you
won't be so tired anymore.
and look for a day where you
won't be so tired anymore.
Lukas deserves to find that day,
he deserves to adventure for it
and be curious about where it might be
and I deserve to find that day too
and I'm gonna cast Cure Wounds.
(shimmering sounds)
- As you bring him back up
from the brink of death,
it's a scared little kid.
That was the most terrifying
thing in the whole world
and he wraps his arms around your neck
and just begins to sob.
Says (through sobs) this
was the worst birthday ever.
- Lukas, I died too!
- What?
- I died too.
- But you're okay?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Happy birthday.
- Happy birthday.
- Happy birthday.
- I don't want any candy.
- Oh Lukas can I have your
candy if you don't want it?
- Yes.
- [Jasper] We'll get you some mint.
- Can I have some mints please?
- Viola has been filling me in
on all of the things she'd done.
- Mama, I chopped off his
hand and I chopped off his arm
and then when the g*n fell,
I learned what g*n is.
I kicked it and (imitates
several expl*si*n).
Oh no, Lukas but he came back it's okay.
- Oh I'm so proud of you.
- Thank you for making
me so strong and hard
and allowing me to be
soft when I want to be.
- Well I think I'm still
getting used to that last part.
But you're gonna be
such a wonderful mother.
- And a wonderful leader.
- Hi, this is very nice.
I need all of you to get out.
This is getting bad and
you see Doctor Steel
is like oh out, corpses.
Corpses, I need to find a control room.
- I poke her thing
gonna use Mending.
- Ow.
- Oh.
- On her glasses.
- Oh thank you.
- Mama, you have magic?
- Ooh, yes.
- [Jasper] That was cool.
- I just,
I thought I'd pick up a little thing.
I guess this old dog can
still learn some new tricks.
Thank you, thank you.
- This is nice, can you
get out? Can you get out?
I'm gonna find a-
- Could you toss us up there?
Just wooh.
- Yeah, what?
Toss you up?
I can't throw you 100 feet in the air.
Can you go out through-?
- We don't know what humans can do.
- Honestly, I appreciate
your faith in me.
- Yeah I think
if I was a human, I could
throw us 100 feet in the air.
- [Aabria] Probably.
- I'm really strong.
- And she's gonna get up and open the door
that she entered and be like,
Please exit, I gotta find a control room.
- This is much easier than
stacking one on top of another.
Should keep her around more.
- And Doctor Steel will handle the threat.
So very briefly, before we end
I just want to ask for a little epilogue
of what you all do in
the coming hours, days
and weeks in Last Bast.
There is an immediate threat still,
we'll kind of give a little tier list.
What do you do about the humans?
What do you do about Last Bast?
And what do you about your growing family?
- We should probably try
and have a conversation
with the leaders of the humans
to inform them of our sentience I guess
and explain what we would like to do.
and explain what we would like to do.
- Going to meet the humans,
I need you to make a persuasion check
to convince them that instead of a threat,
you are a group deserving
of dignity, respect
and the conversations
allowed to all humans.
- Can we use Tara for help?
- Tara will provide the help action.
As she sort of holds you up.
Ah you're gonna want to listen to this.
Hey, hey and don't worry,
you didn't fall down and die.
We didn't all die of radiation poisoning,
this is happening.
- We've been through quite
a lot in the last few days.
I think becoming more Stoat or more human,
I think becoming more Stoat or more human,
whichever you prefer.
And what I have learnt
is that there is nothing
And what I have learnt
is that there is nothing
that you won't do for those that you love.
(pensive music)
And from talking to this wonderful human
and seeing you all here,
I can't help but think perhaps
you have ones that you love.
And maybe that's a
commonality that we both share
and if you will allow us,
we would like to carry on loving.
- Please make your persuasion
check, with advantage.
- Okay.
Okay, persuasion?
- Guidance too.
- Yeah, thank you.
Ah, persuasion.
- And f*ck it,
Lukas gives you bardic inspiration.
(nasally) A D6, D6.
(gently) ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
- 25.
- [Brennan] Oh
- (relief) Yeah.
- Oh.
- Halfway through your speech,
I think you were nervous
about it as it happens,
the humans go from shocked,
disbelieving into shocked silence
and then they begin to
move around as you talk
and one of them picks
up something that looks,
almost reminds you of that big gas can
that they hoisted on their
shoulder and Tara says,
Oh it's okay, it's okay.
And a camera is on you.
And your speech is broadcast to the world.
And no one can deny that
the Stoats of Last Bast
are sentient.
- Since I have everyone's attention.
(group laughs)
- I'd like to announce my candidacy.
- Stoat President.
- [All chanting] Stoat
President, Stoat President.
- Not bad for a cult leader.
- Who's up next?
- Talk about a comeup baby.
- I'll just say as a little addendum
that the moment the stoats of Last Bast
are recognized by global authorities,
they're like no one's going to come here.
If humans come again, it
will be to treat with you.
But this is your home.
- Then I would want to
bring more of the nature
to this hard place.
I've got teams of stoats
bringing in foliage
and moss and just zhuzhing
the place as much as possible.
Leaves and moss and acorns and you know,
cute little things that would
make this place more homey.
Get rid of all the sterile nastiness
to make it seem less
experimental and more natural
and as I've hunkered down,
I won't explain childbirth
because I don't know.
But a few.
- You push, there's babies.
- I believe that we have
three in our litter.
- [Aabria] Three.
- Two girls named Kenji and Geoffrey
and a little boy named Rosie.
(Cast fawning over Kenji,
Geoffrey, and Rosie)
- And they scamp around,
they get into stuff.
They try to run as fast as...
- All right you stupid babies, line up.
(Cast laughing)
- I'm just so happy to see
them all running around
and frolicking with their
cousins and growing up together.
It's exactly what I always
wanted, everyone so close.
I think I get a little slower
and now I understand a little bit
what my sister was going through
and I feel like we talk a
lot more about you know,
what it means to be a mother
and like it's not just
a superficial level.
I feel like I understand
you a little bit more.
The pressure that I had on
Mom releases a little bit more
because I understand.
I've gotten to another level
of stoathood and she's content
with this lovely
postcard-looking of a life.
- And I think at some point, you see it.
Your vision come to pass.
Your children playing
in a home that you have,
in a bunker that you've made a home.
- Who's next?
- Well, my kids are almost grown up
and they went on a whole, a
huge adventure and survived.
I think I asked my kids
if they're gonna stay
here at Last Bast or in,
there's a whole human world
and it's all the stuff that your father,
that everything that your dad thought
about the outside world
and about whether these
things were monsters or not,
he was right.
It's all true.
Do you think you'll stay here?
Do you think you'll go out into the world?
- I only ever wanted to do any of that
so that I could stay with you.
- Yeah, why would we go?
I can't k*ll rabbits when there's humans.
- It's true.
Well then, we'll all
stay here and be together
one big family.
- I'm gonna be with Sybil
in Resource Allocation.
- Well I think you're gonna be great
and I'm so proud of you
all and maybe, you know,
and I'm so proud of you
all and maybe, you know,
(calm music)
maybe there'll be a lot more to learn here
and I don't know how much care you'll need
and I don't know how much care you'll need
because you're almost grown.
So whatever adventure you want to go on,
I trust you.
I trust you both to be smart
and strong and know what to do.
- Okay mom.
- Ah and I think,
I think that Tula's little epilogue
is that she goes all the way to the edge
of the new Stoat terr-protected
I can't imagine what kind of fence
these humans are gonna
have to put up to be like,
"There's smart stoats in here."
- You kids can't go
near those smart stoats,
don't even think about it.
- But I'm gonna go.
- Mommy, I want a smart Stoat
for a pet.
- Yikes.
- Yikes.
I'm gonna go near the
meadow where Geoffrey,
where I found Geoffrey and
I guess it's a different,
very green time of year
here and I think Tula,
very pointedly has not like,
she almost always refers to him.
It's like, "Your father."
Or "my husband," and I
think she just goes back
to that little spot and goes,
(calm music)
Geoffrey I want to tell you
all about Lila and Jaysohn
and all the things you were right about.
And just takes time to,
share the whole story and talk to him
for the first time in a long time
and not with sadness or hurt.
Or bitterness.
And I think that ends with,
I have all this free time now
and I can't wait to find out
what's gonna happen tomorrow.
and I can't wait to find out
what's gonna happen tomorrow.
- I'll say, in passing,
that as your kids grow
and you have more time
and you can devote more of your bandwidth
to finding joy in the day to day,
without any sort of
pressure or expectation,
Bennett is very glad that
you've decided to stay.
- I think the first
time that one of my kids
is old enough to seriously
enter into a romantic,
when they're flirting and
dating for the first time,
I'm gonna have a moment
of thinking of Geoffrey
and thinking of all
this free time and I go,
The hell am I doing?
Where's Bennett?
(group laughs cheers for Tula)
- Let's go, Tu-tu.
I'm gonna go, gotta find Bennett.
Back in my hoe days.
(Rashawn cackles)
- I blow off the blueberries
and we get to take a
little free time, baby.
Kenji, do that little dance.
(group laughs)
- [Aabria] Ava?
- Well, my lifetime.
- Well, my lifetime.
My timeline for living
has been far extended.
I just have so much time
and so you know, I'm so happy
to have other little ones
to play with and I love,
love getting to babysit
and telling them wildly
inappropriate stories
of the horrors that we faced.
Viscera emanating from every orifice.
- (small child) Viscera, viscera.
- Yes, very viscera, kids.
- First word, viscera.
- Viscera.
Blood for the blood gods.
- [Jasper] Fine.
- [Rashawn] Vocabulary so strong.
- It's really,
it's coming along.
- But I think you know for
all my love of control,
I've learned to ease up a bit.
Especially with my family
but I think I take some of those lessons
that I've learned to work
with some of the ladies in
Population Support and I've,
we've split it into a
bunch of different groups
and it's more about conflict resolution
or you know,
counseling services or you know,
like if somebody's like in truck
and their truck has parts that
are broken down and stuff,
we have a team that will
go out to help with truck.
So yes, I think that keeps me quite busy
but I think I've managed to
still spend a lot of my time
but I think I've managed to
still spend a lot of my time
with my family.
To learn new things.
- And Ava, you know that
whatever brought you back,
- And Ava, you know that
whatever brought you back,
that keeps you here is under your control
and the day that you decide
that it's time to rest, you can.
- All right, kids who's going first?
- Lila, what you up to?
- So some humans come
back every once in awhile.
Is there studying or like?
- It becomes this very weird thing
across the next six months?
- Does Tara come back?
- Oh yeah, Tara actually stays close.
- Okay, Lila and Tara.
- Yes.
- Lila is becoming
a scientist.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- Trying to figure out you know,
how you know, we can make sure
this is never an issue again
and frankly, climate change.
(group laughs)
- Lila.
- It's 1982, DDT.
A real problem.
- Yeah.
- CCF, a real.
CFCs.
- Jimmy Carter got on the TV
a couple of years ago and he said,
We gotta turn the lights off
when we leave the house, okay?
- Lila, I need you to make me one more,
I think it's investigation.
Give me one more investigation.
- (silent) Please solve climate change.
- Please solve climate change.
- Come on, come on.
- This is the best timeline.
(hopeful music)
- 24, no 26.
(Brennan and Jasper cheer and laugh)
- Lila, you know a Stoat's
lifetime isn't that long.
But you have so much life in front of you.
You are the first Stoat
to have a doctorate
(players gasp)
in nuclear physics.
- A doctor in the family.
(Cast laughs)
Yes, yeah.
Yes.
- Set your work
to tackling, controlling
what's happening here.
To studying and documenting
what's happening
with all of the animals in
the Blue Forest and f*ck it,
climate change.
Why not?
- Yeah.
- My daughter got a PhD in one year
which is enormous for Stoat time
but pretty f*cking incredible.
- Wait till Esther in Resource
Allocation hears about this!
- Ellen has told everyone.
And finally, Jaysohn.
- Jaysohn joins Resource Allocation.
Absolutely sidesteps Education fully.
- Hell yeah.
- Never reads anything ever again.
- Bless.
- Just is born
to run at the front of a pack
but if he ever goes out into the world,
he is a, this is so stupid.
- Hey.
- He is like,
"Well but these sports seem pretty fun."
- Oh, incredible.
- Are you picking an Air
Bud f*cking ending here?
- Dawg, dawg you have
to look me in the eye
and tell me what sport.
- Say it, say it.
- Let's say that stoats
can't do long jump.
(Cast loses it over
Jaysohn the Sport Stoat)
- [Izzy] Nothing in the rulebook that says
that stoats can't do long jump.
- You have to give me a check.
- [Jasper] Yes.
- [Rashawn] Oh my gosh.
- I know it should be athletics.
- A money check,
I'll write you a check.
- Because it's a sport.
- Yeah, if you give me three
dollars on Venmo right now.
- Can I do an acrobatics check?
- Of course it's acrobatics.
- We're all, the family's
all in the stands.
- We're all in 1989.
- Cheering on.
- 1989 Olympics in Tokyo.
- That's gotta be a help action right?
(Rashawn cackles)
- We're all like yeah.
- [Aabria] Let's go 84 in L.A.
- [Erika] 84 in L.A..
- Unbelievable, unbelievable.
- I got a 31.
(Cast laughing and screaming)
- What?
- Do we go to the Olympics?
- [Erika] We do, we do.
- Do they put us in a shoebox
and take us to the Olympics?
- They poke some holes
in the top.
- I'm sorry.
We get at least a little.
- She got a PhD.
- [Aabria] Blue Forest.
- I went to Oxford.
- Blue Forest is recognized as a nation,
in part because of Jaysohn's
f*cking long jump ability.
- Jaysohn the eloquence bard
sings our national anthem.
- Which is?
- Yeah.
♪ Oh stoats we are stoats ♪
♪ We are stoatsy stoats ♪
- Thorn's up in the stands,
you see the popcorn drops
as Thorn watches this happen,
looks at Lila, looks back
at Jaysohn and just goes,
Brighter than the sun,
swifter than the wind.
I was a prophet the whole time.
- And that's where we're
going to end for Burrow's End.
(group laughing, cheering, and clapping)
- We did it.
- We did it.
- Yeah.
(group cheers)
(dramatic music)
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20x10 - Evolution and Revolution
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.