- Deck the halls
with boughs of holly!
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
The clock
gnomes of grand central station
Appear to be in a little bit of an uproar.
- We gotta go back, bilby!
- Behold, the train yards
of the clock gnomes!
- I'm having a great time.
- Someone took something?
- The big book of bits and bobbins.
- What about the time stone?
- How do you know about time stones?
- Well, i'm a reasonable woman
And i do love pieces, you know.
- Things are gonna get bad.
It's the day of misty's opening!
Oh my god, the musical!
Stephen sondheim is here.
I'm very, very excited for
what we're about to see.
- Oh golly.
- Misty f*ck' kills it,
the ritual's going off
Without a hitch.
As you're about to go on,
Everything's in place,
I have the mirror in place as well.
- No, no, no, what mirror?
- Five, four, three, two.
Holy sh*t.
Holy sh*t, holy sh*t!
The greatest disaster i can imagine!
The mirror glows,
The lady titania.
And a host of seelie warriors
Steps through the mirror,
I'm gonna need all of
you to roll initiative.
- Talk about stage effects!
- Welcome, one and all,
back to the unsleeping city.
My name is brennan mulligan,
These are our intrepid heroes,
Say hi, intrepid heroes!
- Hi, intrepid heroes!
- Last we left our heroes off,
They were going to see a broadway show,
And celebrating christmas,
things were looking up!
There have been some strange goings on
With the clock gnomes of
grand central station,
But,
We find ourselves opening night
Of midsummer nights,
It's the final closing finale number,
With misty moore taking the stage
As the lady titania,
As the mirror glows,
It vanishes.
In a crack of light, gone!
We see lady titania and her she-Warriors,
These seelie dance fighters
Take the stage,
Across from you, the box seats
From the intrepid heroes.
Don confetti
and his pixie mobsters,
Are all starting to take a show
And show off a little bit of their wealth.
Holy sh*t!
It's the lady titania back again!
Beyond them,
In the box seat is stephen sondheim,
Watching the show happily,
Also in the very front
row is dupree st. Croix,
The theater critic for the new york times!
- Ah, the gray lady.
- I'm going to explain a
couple different things now,
'cause this fight is a
little different than normal.
- Oh no!
I mean, oh good!
- Misty.
- Mm-Hmm.
- You are in the middle
of casting a ritual spell
That is going to renew your body.
You've done this
Probably about a half dozen times before,
And it's what has
enabled your immortality.
If this ritual doesn't
go off without a hitch,
It's the end of your reincarnations.
So you've,
If the show is spoiled for any reason,
If these people that you
are harvesting glamor from
Do not enjoy this broadway show,
It means the end of your life.
- The show must go on!
- You will be making death-Saving throws,
Not randomly and by chance,
But with your performance checks,
Every round that you go.
- Oh!
- All right.
- Oh my god!
- You are not incapacitated,
you are not down,
But the ritual needs
three successes to work,
And it needs three, and
with three failures you die.
There is—
- Die or just, she just stays misty moore?
- Only one way to find out.
- Ohh!
- We don't know that?
- Misty hasn't told anybody.
So...
So, you guys do not know
that that is the case.
Normally for this ritual,
The difficulty is very low
for these performance checks.
But the difficulty might be
modified if, for example,
You get stabbed a whole bunch of times.
That might make your performance check
A little bit more challenging.
- Noted.
- So.
What we are now going to do
Is we're also going to
see who else showed up
At premiere night.
Misty has given some invitations out.
- Some.
- Some invitations out, a ton.
But not everybody necessarily showed up.
So we're going to do a box of doom roll
For a little bitty luck check here.
We'll get the box of doom in,
Which i believe we have right here.
The first thing we're
going to roll for is,
And i'm going to say that,
Because these are your close friends,
They would definitely come.
We're going to see if the members
Of the gramercy occult
society came to opening night,
They're regular humans,
they'll see a show.
On an 11 or higher,
Alejandro is in attendance.
No, alejandro is busy.
Go ahead and pick again.
On an 11 or higher, esther
managed to come by the show.
- Come on.
I can't see.
- That's a 19!
- Okay!
Nice.
- Wonderful.
And one last roll.
Hey, wally's here!
- Aww!
- Oh yes!
Here you go.
- He's a good boy, wally!
- He's a good boy, i don't
want him to get hurt!
- Oh no!
Wally goes down!
Jesus.
- Esther and wally are just hanging out.
The smartest and dumbest
people that we know.
- I'm sorry, one more time.
Do you remember that you did or did not
Give tickets to em?
- I don't remember.
- I don't think you did.
- Feel like you did.
- I definitely did nod,
It happened with nod.
- Yeah, nod it happened with,
I really think i did,
But if you don't think that i did,
Then you are the dm,
And i bow unto you, my liege lord.
- I tell you what.
We'll roll one last one for em.
- Great.
- Let's see if em is in attendance.
- Let's see if a fountain paid this year—
- A 17?
- 17, em is in attendance.
- Hey!
- It's a big show, people would come out
And see a good show, right?
- Yeah.
Look guys, sometimes you film things
A long time in advance.
- You gave some to the—
- And you don't write them
down and you forget about it.
- Could you guys in
the box seat behind you
Please put wally, esther, and em?
- What a motley crew.
- Em!
- Esther is cool as sh*t.
- Esther is—
- Oh my god, esther f*ck' rules.
- Wally's grounded as hell.
- Yeah, totally!
- I love his vest!
- I think i'm into em.
- Incredible.
- What's your deal?
- Yeah, you see, as titania appears,
The band is kicking out,
Ba da daa, baa, hey!
Wally goes,
Well, it's
the magic of broadway,
It really brings you all together.
Esther immediately knows
something bad is going on,
And you can see that,
Actually move esther up
into the box with you guys.
That's probably where she is.
- Right next to ricky, now.
- Right next to ricky.
And then that's going,
And then em, who is sort of perched
On the edge of the thing
as a stone gargoyle goes,
Oh no, this is so bad.
That is going to be the
beginning of combat.
Kingston, you are first to act.
- Okay.
So i have no idea that this is a ritual.
- I don't believe that
misty has told anybody.
- What would you—
- A lady needs her secrets.
- What's the threat level assessment,
I mean—
- I'll allow you to make an insight check
On your old friend misty moore.
- Great.
- Yes, insight.
- Insight.
Yeah, 21.
- Do you roll advantage
with insight or no?
- No only deception,
intimidation, and persuasion.
- Only those.
- So you got an 18?
- A 21.
- Oh, a 21.
I'm going to say
That you get misty's eye contact
For a second as titania shows up.
She looks very afraid,
You know
That misty's fear is not
related simply to the fact
That titania is here.
There is also something going on,
And you probably get a sense
That misty is already
casting some kind of spell,
But you don't know what it's for.
- Oh man!
Okay.
- This play's awesome.
- I...
- Was that magic or special effects?
- You see that the crowd as
titania appears all goes,
Whoa, oh, oh!
Mostly reacting to the fact
That there's two titanias on stage.
- Mm-Hmm.
Got it.
Mm.
Can i see a fire alarm?
- Make an investigation check.
- Nine plus...
What's that, a 16.
- You do not see a fire alarm
here in the box with you.
- Okay.
- Are you okay, man?
- Would the umbral arcana protect,
If we use a fire spell, is that going to—
- With that 20 insight,
Actually, kug, give me
an insight check as well.
- f*ck' of course.
- I'll do an insight.
- Eight.
- You get to give me arcana
if you want to as well.
- 20.
- 20 arcana?
- Not nat.
- Not nat?
Pete, this place is all your sh*t.
This is all dream magic,
It's the f*ck' theater, this place is,
This play is a midsummer night's dream.
The umbral arcana is backing away
From the stage out of
respect for the place
Created by the actors here.
So any magic that happened here
Would probably get the benefit
Of being behind a
curtain of umbral arcana.
So sh*t that happened on stage,
If you put some zazz on it,
Could be perceived as
performance by the audience.
- Okay, yeah.
So we all get that.
- Yeah.
- 'cause you have telepathy, right?
- Yeah, pass that along.
- Oh yeah.
- Yeah, i have mind link.
So i'm like, this isn't
good, i don't think, guys.
It's any willing creature, we can,
Oh, i can mind link with you!
I mind link with you and say, what?
Are you okay, what the f*ck is going on?
- No, this is real bad!
Da daa, da daa!
- Tell me and i'll tell the group,
What the f*ck do we do?
- Let's k*ll titania!
Da da daa!
- Great!
Okay, so you guys have talked enough,
I'm going to need that action.
- Okay, i need, i am,
i'mma be like, all right.
Things may be going down,
The people need to get out of here.
I'm gonna bless you, one, two, and three,
And then i'm going to
scramble down on to the,
I'd like to scramble
down actually on to the,
I can't go around here, correct?
- Would you want to, nevermind.
- You could go through the door,
Or you could just try
to jump on to the stage
With an athletics check.
- I mean, i'm a 55 year old man,
I'd like to figure out,
I'm not the hero i once was,
I'd like to go the normal way down.
- Okay.
You can take the stairs out,
The back of your box seat.
And make it down to the front
row in front of the stage.
- Great, so blessings
on the three of them,
And i'll make my way down to the stage.
- What's a bless for you now?
- It's, i think it's still—
- So d4?
- D4, but you can burn a higher slot
To give it to more people.
But you might not need to,
'cause you're all f*ck' spell casters
And don't need that.
- Right now it's just the three of them.
- Cool.
Great.
That's a bless from kingston.
That is now going to be—
- Did you say i
could move down here?
- Yeah, actually, move
all the way, so yeah.
You're right under there, at
the front of the stage, yeah.
That's going to be kugrash.
- Kay, i guess if this is all magic stuff.
All right, i'm gonna cast wall of fire.
Hope you can make this work, misty!
There's going to be some fireworks!
And i—
- I mind link and tell misty that.
Everything we do, i'll let her know.
- So this is one of my
fourth level spells.
I can make a...
I can make two different kind of walls,
But the one i want to do is a ringed wall
Up to 20 feet in diameter
and 20 feet high,
I want to do it around
her little crew here.
- My good man.
Please be my guest.
- Oh, i love those flames.
- Oh boy.
So ten feet, so i just want to
put it right on top of them.
- Okay, and you want it facing inward?
- I want it facing
inward so it burns them.
I imagine they're going to move,
So this is just kind of
a one time attack for me.
So you want me to just put it up in here?
- Yeah, go ahead and,
'cause it's your concentration, so it is—
- It's my concentration, so—
- What's the range on that, by the way?
- It is 20 feet diameter, and—
- But the range for casting,
how far away can you—
- 120.
- Okay cool, so you
definitely can hit them there.
- I love these little gushers.
- Yeah!
- The dried apricots?
- They're little dried apricots.
All right.
- They kind of look like
they're going to be squishy,
But they're not.
- Okay, all right, i
think that's all i need.
- That's just good art, baby.
- Yeah, so they
take, when it appears,
They make a dexterity saving throw,
And 5d8 fire damage, or half
as much on a successful save.
- Great.
- Go ahead and roll your damage,
And i'll let you know
how much they all take.
- Can i get some d8s?
- Here's two d8s.
- Thank you.
Just one more's good, i
can just do two things.
Ooh, oh my god!
This is insane!
- Yeah.
- 36.
And then 40.
- You do 40 fire damage?
Jesus christ!
- To any of them that don't pass—
- That are in there, that
don't pass, they're taking 20—
- And if they pass it's 20.
- 20 to people who don't get it.
- Hold on.
- And that's the end of the
fight, and we'll go home.
- I think we could roleplay
the rest of this episode, yeah.
- So 20 to those who pass.
- 40 to the—
- 40 to the ones who fail.
My first four i rolled
two sixes and two eights,
Which was pretty incredible.
- Holy sh*t.
I need to see how close you are to...
Oh, you m*therf*cker.
You are not within counter spell range.
- Aww!
That's f*cking wild.
Yeah, you see, whoom!
This fire goes up, yeah.
The spell effect happening on stage,
The whole audience just goes, wow!
As these elves shriek, aah!
You do not hear a shriek from
the lady titania, however.
- Oy.
- Bum, bum bum.
- Awesome,
And i'll use my bonus action
to do the juicy c*ck.
- Nice.
- To give everybody temp hp.
Does, it's 30 feet, can i get misty and—
- Put it where you think
you could get everybody.
If you put it in the crowd,
It might rupture the spell a little bit.
- Okay.
- So you might have to put it on stage,
Things on stage get less—
- Got it, okay.
Then i'll do, bink.
- Give me a performance
check for the c*ck.
- Oh my god.
- It's gonna use your performance.
- Insanely bad.
- Don't you have, i'm not gonna say.
- A minus two.
One!
Three minus two.
- A three minus two, so
it's not in that one.
So you see that, this
giant c*ck appears,
And the whole audience goes, ugh!
And you see that dupree st. Croix goes,
Mm-Mm-Mm-Mm-Mm.
But the c*ck looks out and goes,
Hey, fa sha dow!
Hey, daa, i think about this!
And all it's been there!
Just really trying its best,
Incredible, so those people
get temp hp that need that.
- How much is it?
- It is, oh, what did i see, write out?
Juicy c*ck, five
plus druid level, so 14.
- Whoa!
- Wow, i have
- You see titania vanishes from here,
Appears directly upstage of misty.
- You're upstaging me, b*tch?
- You see that she, boom, appears there,
Takes in more damage from wall of fire.
Looks over at the pixies over there,
And she says,
Don confetti, i call
your service once more.
Boom!
He and all his pixies
get loopy little eyes.
Oh, ah! You got us!
- I cast counter spell.
- Hell yeah!
Go ahead and make the roll,
She's casting a powerful spell.
- Okay.
- You got this.
- That is a nat one.
- Oh f*ck!
- The spell still goes off,
And has a bonus action,
She's going to make an attack on misty.
- sh*t!
- That's gonna hit.
- f*ck.
- One moment.
- Oh my god!
- That's because you're
looking for d4s, right?
You just poured all
those out to look for—
- Yeah, just one d4.
- He needs three whole d4s.
- There's something
particular about this dice.
And the dice he rolls.
- Yeah, he likes, he did d4.
There's actually a d2 in there.
- Coin.
- She flicks a mote of
light at you and says,
Pretender!
She must pay!
Whoom!
And since she
doesn't know she's in a play,
But she does just sing most of
her magic, which is helpful.
You take 30 points of radiant damage.
- Thank goodness for that juicy c*ck.
- So juicy.
Not a great performer,
but you know, juicy.
- That's titania, pete,
it's going to be you.
- All right.
I cast, i'm going
to cast erupting earth
As a fourth level spell in the,
It's the exact same diameter,
It's the exact same everything,
So at these remaining dancers.
- Oh sh*t, okay cool.
- It is another dex saving throw.
And i get to roll 4d12,
And if they don't pass,
they get half that damage.
- Or if they pass—
- Oh yeah, yeah.
If they pass.
Does this one also have a d12?
Or—
- I gots d12.
- Cool, and it's a 20 foot cube.
- It's a 20 foot cube, yeah.
- Cool, so it's four, it's
four spaces by four spaces,
So yeah, that definitely hits them all.
- Mkay.
- Wrap.
- Do they take extra
damage, 'cause it's like—
- Ow!
- 37.
- 37 bludgeoning damage?
- And—
- Jeez louise.
- That's now difficult terrain
That takes a minute to clear.
- Rad.
So that's gonna be—
- Yeah, so they move half speed.
- Okay.
So they take 37 bludgeoning damage.
Wild.
These poor seelie get real f*cked up.
Jesus christ.
- And i'm going to...
I'm going to run on stage.
- Dope.
Give me an athletics
check to jump down there.
- Sure.
- I'm also going to need a
wild magic roll from you.
- Athletics...
I think that's 15?
- 15, you make it, yeah.
So—
- Cool.
- It's cost an extra
five feet of movement,
But yes.
- Okay, i just want to be
Next to the c*ck.
- Just to be close.
- And wild magic...
- Cool.
- Phew!
- Wonderful.
So that spell that just got created,
You guys see that pete blasted
And that weird psychic,
All the floorboards just rupture,
And float, spinning
around telekinetically,
Just clobbering the sh*t
out of these seelie elves.
- I mean, so far this
is a f*ck' great show.
- Yeah, yeah.
- You see them go, wow!
You see, yeah,
That dupree goes, the
special effects budget
Has not been spared,
In his little notebook, as he takes—
But that c*ck, send this person
Back to off-Off-Off-Broadway.
Incredible.
- Keep your head up, c*ck!
- Pete jumps back to,
So pete jumps down,
Great.
You see that don confetti
turns his pixies around him,
Sees the two to his right and says,
Get sondheim!
And then turns—
- What!
- The other two each take off.
- What?
- How dare they.
- Hold on a second.
- Hmm, people be flying.
- This guy's up here.
Bada-Bum.
I get this dude over here.
- What the f*ck is happening?
- If stephen sondheim is k*lled,
Then your play won't get a good review.
- Oh no!
- It just might be dramatic.
- Cool, hold on a second.
Okay.
I, so what you guys now see, is—
- Stephen sondheim is—
- Now could you
guys hand me stephen sondheim
And the other two little pixies
that are not don confetti?
- Stephen sondheim
is for sure magical.
- Oh yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, there's no way that
he's a regular human being.
- Well, you know,
creativity is magic, so.
- Wow!
The new you!
- So you guys see two
of the pixies rush over,
You see that, yeah, don confetti says,
Get sondheim!
And the
two pixies fly over,
They grab, you see stephen sondheim says,
Now i don't know what's happening,
But this is not the kind
of theater i'm, whoa!
And then is lifted up out of his seat.
They fly him under the
arch back over here.
These two fly out in other directions,
And open fire on misty.
- sh*t.
- This is a wild show.
- With a g*n?
- Have you got shields or anything, or...
- No, all i've got is charisma magic.
- You got shield?
- We've got to intercept,
we need ricky in there.
- I'm going to need a constitution
saving throw from misty.
- g*dd*mn it.
- That passes.
- Nice.
- You feel the b*ll*ts,
pew pew, have little, pew!
Like, pixie dust and poison in it.
You do not succumb to the poison,
But you do take another
seven points of damage.
- Okay.
- Tiny little b*ll*ts.
- So cute!
- Misty, it is your turn—
- Okay, i have a question
about these performance rolls.
- Yes.
- So i have advantage on performance.
If i cast a spell that gives
me advantage on performance,
Do i get to roll an extra die?
- Unfortunately no.
- I'm done at that,
i'm done at that point.
- A thing that gives you advantage
Simply gives you advantage.
And right now, the damage is
not giving you disadvantage,
It's just increasing the
difficulty of the roll.
- Okay.
- Cool.
In the last round, you
took 37 points of damage.
- I did indeed.
- Which is, normally the
dc for doing this ritual
Is only the dc 10.
It is increased by half
the damage you took
In the previous round,
Which is going to be 18.
So you need to beat a 28
on a performance check.
- What is your, what
do you have to perform?
- I have 11 performance.
- So you gotta get 17?
- So i gotta get a 17.
- But you have advantage.
- But you have two—
- But i have advantage, but even—
- You'll get it, you'll get it.
First one, you'll get it.
- This is a good one,
i feel good about this.
- First one, you got it.
- Bring out the box of doom
for this performance check.
- I still had bardic inspiration,
would that add to this?
- Bless and bardic inspiration and—
- We'll remember to do that.
- Bardic inspiration?
- You cannot give yourself
bardic inspiration,
But tides of chaos, bend luck,
All that stuff works—
- You got it.
- On misty.
- Cool.
- Okay.
- Oh, tides of chaos can be for anyone?
- Oh maybe it can't, sorry.
- I'll check.
- You double check that, yeah.
Here's advantage, you need a 17 or higher
For a success.
- Come on, a little christmas miracle.
I did not get—
- Whoa, what did you get?
- I got a two and four,
don't waste your luck.
- f*ck!
- So,
You are lit the f*ck up this round.
Just, boom!
And you begin to sing through.
Gah!
But you hit, you miss your note
As you are ruptured by
titania's attack of light.
That is one failure.
- Do we know how bad,
what is going on exactly?
- Misty, now it's your turn,
So you can communicate
anything you want to pete.
- Pete, if i die, really
bad things are gonna happen,
I probably—
- Tell me everything you can.
- You know how you've
been keeping some secrets,
We'll talk afterwards,
Maybe i've been keeping some as well.
Anyway, if i could not
die, that would be great.
- b*llet points, are the fairies with us,
Who are we taking out, what—
- The fairies are under
some kind of hypnotic spell,
I mean, the pixies are under
some kind of hypnotic spell,
The fairies are definitely against us.
If we could k*ll titania,
that would be great.
Please don't let me die.
- Pete, we have to get
these people out of here.
Misty needs to make some
kind of announcement.
The show needs to end now.
- Misty, you need to make an announcement
And end the show right now.
- Absolutely not, the show must go on!
- Don't be stupid!
- The show must, do you hear me?
- Kingston is going to hit the fire alarm,
And we're going to try
to get everyone out,
Will that work?
- Pete, you need to listen to me.
Magic user to magic user.
- Okay.
- The show must go on.
- I link to kingston, say,
do not let anybody leave,
This has to look like a really good show.
- If anybody gets hurt,
if sondheim gets hurt,
We are out of here instantly.
- I know how big of a
sondheim fan you are,
Okay, i'm not—
- I'm a huge sondheim, into the woods
Is one of the greatest
shows that i have ever seen.
- Misty, you now have your turn.
So your performances can happen
While you're casting
spells and doing stuff.
- Great, so what i would like to do,
This is over than a 30-Foot cube, right?
All of these people?
- These, sondheim is out
of the 30-Foot cube, so—
- So these two aren't?
Are you sure?
- So you can go here,
So this is 30 feet from the end of this,
So those pixies are there.
But the seelie, no so,
You can't get the seelie
and sondheim and his pixies.
- And the guys that have sondheim as well.
- Mm-Hmm.
- Okay.
Are the seelie trapped by this fire?
Or are they, can they
move out of the fire?
- They can move out of it.
- They can move out of it?
- But they're also,
movement is half, right?
- But then movement is halved?
- Their movement is halved by me, yeah.
- Okay.
Well, i'm still going to do it,
So i'm going to cast
Hypnotic pattern.
- Great.
- Okay.
- Is there a way of casting
it at a higher level,
Where i get more stuff,
It doesn't say on this card.
- I don't believe so.
- Okay.
So anyway, i create a
The pattern appears, each
creature who is in the area
Sees the pattern, must
make a wisdom-Saving throw,
On a failed save, the
creature becomes charmed
For the duration.
While charmed by the spell,
the creature is incapacitated
And has a speed of zero.
- Okay.
- And my spell save dc is 16.
- Gotcha.
So you're hitting those four seelie
And the one pixie above them, right?
- Yes.
- Okay.
And your, the dc again is, what, six?
Or 16.
- 16.
- 16.
- Six.
- Sorry.
Two.
Three.
You pull, i'm afraid, only
the pixie away from titania.
- Dang.
- So he's incapacitated, correct?
- Yeah.
He, yeah, he just can't
move or do anything.
- Gotcha.
And did he make, he makes
the save every round, or no?
- The spell ends for the affected creature
If he takes any damage or if someone else
Uses an action to shake the
creature out of the stupor,
So it doesn't say—
- So he's just hovering, so as he's like,
Wow, i
can't believe i get to see
A real misty moore show, look at her go,
I hate to have to k*ll her.
And any bonus action?
Or movement?
- Yeah.
I would like to...
Very jazzily move upstage a little bit.
- Sure.
And were you within five feet of titania?
- Was i?
No, i don't think so.
- Do you guys remember, oh no,
She was a little bit away from you, right?
- I was here.
So i'm ten feet away.
- Gotcha, cool cool cool, yep.
- And then i would like to
Look up at my good pal,
You've not gone yet, right?
- Yeah, i haven't gone yet.
- Sofia.
- Okay.
- And i'm not going to
say anything to you,
But in that moment, you know
that i'm singing right at you,
And this song is for you.
- Oh my god, misty moore.
Oh my god!
It's like i've been friends
with her for so long,
But it still feels so cool!
- And i give you bardic inspiration.
- Lovely.
That's going to be these seelie.
- Oh yeah, they haven't even gone.
- They haven't even gone.
Ah-Buh-Buh-Bah.
So they've got to roll or die here.
- Mm-Hmm!
- Let's go ahead and roll for them,
Dc on this is 16 as well, right?
Yes.
One, two...
Three.
Go ahead and roll damage
For your wall of fire.
- Sweet.
- 14, 18...
- Jesus.
- f*ck yeah!
- Are you rolling 8d8 right now?
- Yeah.
- Oh sorry, 5d8.
- Did you, you didn't roll
- I think i did.
f*ck.
- That's okay, no worries.
- Sorry, i f*cked up.
- If it was 5d8 the first time,
It would have still,
the first four he rolled
Were still two—
- The highest ones.
- Two eights and two sixes.
And the other four were very—
- I think you could subtract seven
From what i did the first time.
- Gotcha, cool cool.
- My first four were amazing rolls
And my second half were middling.
So this time is eight, 11.
- 13, okay.
- Oh wait no, that was four, i'm an idiot.
- 14 damage.
Rad.
So that's going to be...
- So i probably did around
- Cool.
Gotcha.
All of them leap through,
See this one,
And yeah, they definitely have the speed.
And make it over to misty.
- f*ck!
- sh*t!
- I'm coming for you, girl.
- Thanks, man.
- We gotta get people in there.
- Two.
Three.
And then...
Let's take the fire with me.
Four.
Hold on one second, let me just make sure
That i've got that all right.
Hold on.
- And it's difficult terrain?
- Oh!
- You said it's difficult terrain.
- Yes!
- They don't make it to you.
- Nice!
- They do not, hold on,
let me just double check.
'cause that, if one of them's right there,
That's, even the one that's closest
Is 30 to make it to misty.
No!
- Thank f*cking god.
- Yeah!
- Holy sh*t, you see that you can see them
Leap through the flame to
get the f*ck out of there,
And pete, you like, whoom!
Whip the stuff around.
The floorboards and theater ropes
And bunches of, even lights come down.
Actually, you know what?
Hold on one second.
Pete, as you focus your mind,
A whole row of lights snaps off
And f*ck' clobbers them,
And they have to spend their round
Crawling through it as you,
Whum-Whum-Whum-Whum-Whum!
Create this swirling tornado in the fire.
So all of them instead
Use a dash action
To surround misty.
- sh*t.
- Okay.
- Okay, okay.
- So they handle their weapons,
They're readying to k*ll you,
But they are not able to
attack you that round.
- Do something!
- What a clutch f*cking move.
That is going to be,
That f*cking erupting earth, holy sh*t!
- That's so sick.
- Sofia, that's you.
- Okay.
I would like to cast jump on myself.
And then i would like to
jump to this costume rack
And put on a costume.
- Unfortunately there's a wall,
There's a big arch right here,
So we can't see it.
But the thing that—
- Can i jump to this
And then swing down to the costume,
My jump distance is tripled right now.
- That is correct,
I'm going to pull the jump calculator out.
So you're casting jump as
your action and then moving.
So yeah.
You cast jump, what's
your strength, remind me?
- My strength is 13.
- Five foot seven is 13, cool.
You cast jump, where are
you trying to make it to?
- So i'm basically trying to use
As much movement as i can
To go grab a costume
And then enter the fray.
I'm hoping to try and sell this
As part of the performance.
- There's a c*ck on stage.
- Incredible, so without—
- I've seen the other place.
- Remember you also, so step of the wind
Also increases your jump.
- And maybe f*ck it, you know what?
I'm not even going to cast jump, i'll-
- Jump and step of the wind
do work in harmony together.
- Yeah, that,
Yeah, but i think i don't
even need it, though.
- Okay.
You can go 40 feet with a jump check.
So here's 40 feet.
Oh my god, you can actually
just make it there.
- Yeah.
- That's insane, okay.
That's insane.
- So i'm going to jump, woo!
- Esther!
- Sorry, esther!
I'm going to jump here,
And then fall with my slow fall.
- Okay.
You fall with your slow fall,
So what is your speed?
Your speed's 45, so
Jumping does take your speed into account.
So you're gonna have
to use step of the wind
To move more than 45 feet
in the round, like jump—
- But i'm using, i'm not,
'cause i used an action,
Oh, i can't use dash, okay.
Yeah, i'll also spend a key point.
- Cool, you spend a key point.
- Spend a key point, i put on a costume.
- Great.
- And then i run on stage.
- This is actually, because
you're grabbing a costume
And this is also beauty work.
- Uh-Huh.
- I'm going to say make
A dexterity-Based performance check.
And you can roll with advantage.
- Okay.
So what do i add to it?
- Your dex modifier,
And if you're proficient
in performance, then that.
- So my performance and my dex, oh okay.
So eight plus, okay, so 19.
- 19.
You grab something off the rack.
You're in this shimmery,
i'm going to say that you—
- Can i come out and say, i may be little,
But i am fierce!
Which is a line from the show.
- The critic goes,
That line already happened
about an hour ago!
Cool, but that's your turn.
- And then can i, i just
want to wedge myself
In between misty and some of these guys.
- Cool, let me just make sure,
I know i'm being a stickler,
But i'm just going to measure it out,
'cause you can move 90 feet, all told.
So your jump to there is, what?
- Was 40, you said?
- Yeah, i think it's 40,
yeah, it's 40 to there.
And then from the rack there
Is another 30, so that's 80,
So you can get—
- 40 plus 30 is—
- 70.
- Oh 70!
So you got another, you can move 20.
- Yeah, so...
We're back to, okay, so one.
- Two.
- Two.
- Three
- Three.
- Four, okay, so i'm here.
- Cool.
Awesome.
That's sofia.
- Will that costume help me
For future performance checks?
- Your costume is going
to give you advantage
On performance checks.
Your costume's going to
give you an advantage,
You also, if you want, there
is a chorus in this show,
So if you'd rather roll
acrobatics and dance,
You're welcome to do that as well.
- Oh, my acrobatics is dope, yes.
I definitely do that.
- Incredible.
- So i'm also dancing.
- All those nights out in
the meat packing district
With your girls are finally paying off.
- I think i've been to so
many downtown dance shows
I'm doing some pedestrian moves.
- That is f*cking wild.
Bada-Boom.
- What is that?
- It's like, all f*cking nonsense.
- Confetti is going to, buh-Buh-Bum,
Fly a little ways away.
Buh-Buh-Bum.
Yeah, confetti actually is going to fly
Right over here.
Maybe even a little bit higher.
- Oh my god, you have a
retractable flying thing?
That's dope.
- Wow.
Wow!
- This is an amazing theater.
- Cool.
- One second.
Lower it a little bit.
Whew!
I'm going to need kugrash, ox, and ricky
To all make dexterity saving throws.
- Plus three, aura of protection?
Oh—
- Yes, aura of protection.
- And you're blessed as well.
- And you're all blessed as well.
- Kug is not.
- Kug is not, that.
- I did get a 19.
- But then add his thing.
- Oh no, i got a 19 with him.
- I got a 16.
- You got a 16, okay.
Esther got a nat 20.
- Yess.
- Anyone roll for ox?
- Oh yes, i forget his stats, here.
His dex save is, he's got plus two,
So that's just one.
You add one to it.
- Mm-Hmm.
- He got a five.
- Okay.
You each take, five...
You each take eight points of damage,
Ox takes 16 points of damage.
- Ox is down.
Turns into a light.
I'll see you later!
Bye bye!
- How, i'm sorry, it took
- Yes, or no, you take eight.
You take eight, ox takes 16.
Poor ox!
As you—
- I have to do concentration.
- Yep.
- I got warcaster feat, so
i'll roll it with advantage,
But it's dc10, right?
- Yep.
- Nice.
- Hell yeah.
- Cool.
Ox vanishes, you see that
don confetti flies up
And just goes,
And just opens up on
your box seat with a g*n.
- Is this part of it?
- Oh, but people are seeing that, right?
Since that's not on stage?
- It looks as though confetti
firing from on stage,
You see that one of them goes,
Interactive theater!
And you see son—
- Stop talking in the theater!
Stop saying things out loud!
- Sondheim does not escape his grapple.
Let go of me, i wrote sweeney todd!
You see, ricky, it's
going to be your turn.
- Okay.
I finally think, it
finally dawned on ricky
That this is not part of the play.
- When ox fully vanishes.
- And ricky is like, i
think i understand plays.
And so ricky,
I have a question about lay on hands,
That's an action, right?
Or is it a bonus action?
- Oh, lay on hands is an action.
- Okay.
Trying to decide what's better to do,
If someone else can heal her.
But okay.
So ricky is just going to,
Just get fully naked.
And run on to stage.
- Oh my god.
- And run up—
- Now i roll with disadvantage?
- I think we all roll with it.
- And grab, and go up to misty
And start body rolling on her.
- Jesus christ.
- Cast protection from evil and good.
- Ooh.
- Until the spell ends,
one willing creatures,
Your touch is protected
against certain types
Of creatures including fae.
Protection, they all have to,
They all have disadvantage
on attack rolls.
- Nice.
- Whoa!
- And he can't be charmed,
frightened, or possessed.
- Nice.
- Holy sh*t!
You, something awakens
deep in your stomach.
Please give me a, because
you're body rolling,
Can you give me a performance roll
With strength as the ability you're using?
- Yes, i very much can.
Can i use athletics or strength.
- You can use athletics.
- Okay, cool.
Still at 11.
- Okay, so you're just body rolling,
And you see that the theater critic goes,
Mm, no, no, no, this doesn't
make any sense at all,
Why is the male stripper here at the end?
I don't see the connection.
- Oh can i use a luck point?
- Sure, you can use luck point,
if you want to re-Roll it.
- For body roll?
- Does this feel,
All right, whatever.
Okay.
- Yeah!
- 23.
- Oh, you see that the critic goes,
Bold, daring, innovative, i love it!
You see perry lafev over in the back,
Is holding the script going,
What the f*ck is going on out there?
I don't understand!
Where is this coming from!
Rebecca!
You see that, ah-Bup-Bup-Bum.
Ricky, incredible.
So you move, you cast that.
You jump down there.
And that's your action, to cast,
Any bonus action or no?
I don't think you have a
bonus action you can take,
'cause you cast a spell already.
- Yeah, i think that's true.
- Cool.
Great.
Buh-Buh-Bum.
Hell yeah.
Esther is also going to cast—
- Oh yeah, ricky, you're blessed also.
- Esther's going to go ahead and cast jump
On herself as well,
She does not want to go on stage.
But instead, boom.
Springs up here into the wings.
- f*ck yeah.
- And—
- What's esther's deal?
- Oh, you see that she has a
glowing silvery baseball bat
As her arcane focus.
- I don't think that's what he was asking.
- No, that's what i was asking.
- Yeah, that's what you're asking?
- That's a cool weapon.
I would never, it wouldn't work out.
- I don't even know, i'm
just concentrating on my—
- Your only secret you've
ever had in your life
Is that you have a crush on her, so.
- Incredible.
Esther casts jump.
And then you see that she also casts
Some bonus action spell on herself.
Pew!
And a little bit of circles of light
Appear around her,
Em, she was f*ck' past me, em.
Yes.
Em, whoosh.
Flies all the way here,
Behind you on stage,
Reaches out and is going
to heal you, misty,
For 16 hit points.
- Oh bless you.
- And then, can someone hand me wally?
- Wally, what are you doing, bud?
- Wally's
going to rush over here,
He's going to jump here,
make an athletics check.
- Does wally also
have to do a performance check?
- Wally sails gracefully through the air.
- Yes!
- Lands on there.
And you see he goes,
That you
have but slumbered here,
While these visions did appear!
Ba-Da-Da-Dah!
And whips his mta vest off.
He's just trying to help.
That's gonna go back to kingston.
- Okay.
- Let's do this!
- I guess i'll hop on stage.
- Cool, give me a little athletics check
To clear it up on to there.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
This can be 12.
- Cool, you make it up.
- Great.
And then what are you at now?
- I'm at 59, i'm okay.
- You're at 59, great.
- I mean, some other
kind of help would help.
- But it's versus checks, right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, that's true,
But i mean, my hit point max is 66.
- Okay, great.
- So.
- Are you the only one
who can give bardic?
- Yeah.
- Dang.
- Great.
- And i can't give it to myself.
Sometime give me bardic inspiration!
- I'm gonna step off into the wings here,
And then i will cast bless again
As a second level spell,
Giving it to one, two, three, and four.
- Woo, baby.
Cool.
Go ahead and move your
figure behind the curtains.
- Was that me or pete you put it on?
- It was pete.
- f*ck.
- Do you need, do you have—
- Whatever.
- Are we all blessed now?
- No.
- Oh, okay.
- You can bless kugrash
over me if you want,
'cause i can always do bend luck.
- Sick.
- To give myself a d4 if
it's really important.
- Okay, cool.
So blesses all the way around.
That is now, that's kingston's turn.
Kugrash, that's you.
- Okay.
Buh-Buh-Bah.
How can i help misty here?
All right.
I think, ah.
All right, the fighters are up in there,
I got don confetti up here.
Don confetti looks like he's got
A spell cast on him, right?
- He does, yeah.
- Okay.
I would like to cast dispel magic—
- Yeah, f*ck yeah.
- On don confetti.
- Ooh baby.
Go ahead—
- So yeah, it's a, any
spell third level or lower
On the target ends—
- You should do it on the magical effect
And not on the creature.
- Right, oh yeah.
I'm trying to do it on the magical effect.
Whatever is going on with don.
- With don and all of 'em.
- Yeah.
- So the dc equals 10
plus the spell's level.
And i do, ability check using
your spell casting ability.
So that's, okay, my spell casting.
So it's just wisdom.
So it's a plus five, 10 plus
whatever the spell level is.
- So i'm gonna need you
to make a spell attack,
I'm gonna need you to make
Your spell casting attack, basically.
- Okay.
I think it's not spell casting attack,
I think it says just spell casting—
- Make an ability check
using your spell casting.
- Yeah, so i think it's just plus five.
It's just my wisdom.
- It's just your wisdom plus five.
- Come on!
- And you're blessed.
- And i'm blessed, do i get to,
I don't think i get to use that now.
- Not to this, no.
- Come on!
Two!
f*ck!
- It does not work on the don.
- There's nothing really i can do
As a bonus action either,
'cause that's a spell,
I'm up there by myself.
I'll just jump down there and i'll go,
I'll go stand next to my boy wally.
- Okay.
So you're gonna go jump on stage, right?
- I'll go jump on stage.
- I'm gonna need a
performance check from you.
- g*dd*mn it, can i do acrobatics?
- Yes, you can do acrobatics.
- I'd like to do some rat rolls—
- Yes, you can do, you
can do some acrobatics.
- Okay.
- Also fully nude.
- Deh-Deh-Deh-Deh!
Give me a break!
g*dd*mn it!
- Nat one, you—
- I cast bardic inspiration!
- Yeah, yeah.
- I got nat one.
- Nat one's auto fail.
- It's gonna f*ck' punish me.
- Cool.
Kugrash face plants,
Kugrash, i'm gonna say you
face plant on the stage,
And your little rat body tumbles,
And you let out a nasty blast of a fart,
As you just,
And blow off a little bit.
You see that everyone
in the theater screams.
And they scream as loud as they can.
- Oh no, rats are so bad!
Rats are, people don't like rats!
- I thought it was magic
when i was on the stage!
- Oh no!
- You turn into some—
- Yeah, doesn't he look like a hairy baby?
- Yeah, they're all seeing a hairy baby.
- Guys, yeah, yeah, yeah, a hairy baby!
- I hate this farting, hairy baby.
- Absolutely hate it.
- Instead of my attack,
i'm gonna go to your hair.
- We'll go backstage, get right,
Then come back out here.
- Okay.
- What a bad turn.
Just a legendary bad turn.
Just...
- Aww!
You tried, that's what's important.
- You put a lot of effort
in in the right ways.
- Yeah.
- Don't feel bad, it was the dice
That made it a bad turn.
- Kugrash, pete, wally,
Esther, kingston.
- Sofia.
- Sofia.
- I'm right here.
- Yeah, you guys are—
- Ricky?
- One, two, three,
Four, five, six, yeah.
- Ricky too?
- Ricky as well.
Titania goes to cast a spell.
She is casting a powerful charm spell,
I'm gonna need—
- You're immune to charm right now.
- I am immune, i don't know
if i'm immune to charm.
- Protection from evil and good.
- Oh yes, i am immune to charm.
I would also like to try
and counter spell again.
- Wait, actually, everyone
within 10 feet of me
Can't be charmed.
- Whoa.
- Can't be charmed?
- Or have devotion.
- Oh, i am within 10 feet of you!
- Hold on one sec, let
me just double check.
- Oh, titania.
- Starting at seventh level,
You and friendly creatures—
- Can't be charmed while you're conscious!
Holy sh*t!
This is very good for a fairy fight!
- Take it, titania!
Take it!
- These bod,
You see that titania
looks at you and says,
Human boy.
Come live with me in fairy land.
Look at those abs, you
have abs on the side.
What the hell is—
- These are from going this way.
- She is still going to cast a spell,
So you can, you and all the people
Are going to be immune to it,
But you can try to counter spell—
- Yeah, i mean, i'm going to give it a go.
- Go for it.
Give me that counter spell.
- Nat 20, baby.
- Yeah!
- Thank god!
- Holy sh*t!
You see that she goes,
Human boy,
And tries towards all of you,
Misty, you cast a f*ck'
spell out of here.
- Get the f*ck away from my friends!
- Kug, i think your bad turn was outdone.
By titania herself.
- You see, in response to that,
Titania raises up in the air, and—
- Again, this is only good
For it looking like an awesome play.
- Yeah, this is some spider-
Turn back the dark sh*t.
- But no one's getting hurt.
- Right, yet!
- You hear, you see that she turns
To cast more magic at you,
And you hear perry going,
Cheat out!
Cheat out, cheat out!
And she's going to make
another attack at you.
- She has a second spell attack?
- She has a powerful spell on her
That lets her make spell
attacks as a bonus action.
- That b*tch.
- Is this—
- Crown of stars, look it up.
- Miss, she...
- Look it up.
- f*ck' look at, read a book!
- Read a book.
- Is this just an attack roll?
- It's just an attack roll.
- She has disadvantage on that.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- This is protection from evil and good.
- Yeah, oh, she is fae, right?
- Yeah.
- Dude, this f*ck' spell.
- It's great, great job, ricky.
- Just f*ck you, man!
- We're playing smart!
- She misses.
- Yes!
- Boom!
- Yeah!
- That's titania, pete, that's your turn.
- That's right, b*tch.
I step forward
In front of the c*ck.
And i cast fireball on titania.
- Ooh!
- Let's see.
I cast it as a fourth level.
She makes a dex saving throw.
- Cool, you're
casting that on titania.
She makes a dex saving throw.
Hold on one second.
Buh-Buh-Bum.
You see that she...
Expels it.
Counters it.
Pew.
No, no, no.
Little human boy,
Do you want to come and
Feed me grapes in fairy land?
- No, jesus!
Shut up!
- Give me a wild magic roll.
- Oh yeah, for sure.
- Woo!
- Okay, then i am going to...
Freakin' run.
I'm going to run so i'm
not all clumped up anymore.
Kinda like straight backstage,
Or just as far as i—
- As backstage as you can get?
- Yeah.
- Cool, go ahead and start
moving your movement,
And i'm going to need a performance check
As you're moving across the stage.
- Oh, you got it.
What is it?
- Just charisma.
- Charisma, oh, i have
good charisma, i think.
- Yeah, plus five.
- Plus eight, oh no.
Yeah, yeah.
Plus five, plus five.
- Yeah, the—
- 13, 12.
- 12.
Pete has not gotten a costume or anything,
So pete's just in his zebra cowboy hat.
- But you do have, oh
no, you don't have this.
- So yeah, pete.
Go ahead and move your figure.
- Can you guys scoot it back?
Just going straight back.
- How much am i moving?
One, two, three, four.
What is it.
I think it's six.
- Yeah, yeah, just behind the curtain.
That's fine, thank you!
- Dope.
You get out of harm's way.
Cool.
That is going to be,
These guys vanish behind the curtains,
So you cannot actually see these guys,
'cause no one's got
eyes behind the curtain.
- I'm behind the curtain though.
- No, you're behind the drawn curtains.
But remember, we had to
pull it for the thing.
- Got it.
- There's a big thing behind there.
So the pixies disappear with sondheim.
- God.
- Is stephen sondheim gonna die?
- I think, is she gonna take him to fairy?
- sh*t!
- God, have we got to
rescue stephen sondheim?
- Do we need to, i mean, i felt like i—
- We gotta rescue misty, too.
We gotta—
- I mean, between me and
sondheim, get sondheim!
- Cool!
- Neat, 'cause i'm—
- All right.
- I'll get sondheim,
Because i'm useless on stage.
- Misty, it is your turn.
- Mm-Hmm?
- I don't believe you've
took any damage last turn.
- I did not.
- I don't think you did.
- Okay, so the difficulty
is only being raised
By two for failed
performance checks on stage.
You have to elevate those
performers while they're on stage
Gumming up the works next to you.
- Okay.
- So the only, sofia succeeded.
- I succeeded.
- Ricky succeeded.
Only, actually let me
roll for em real quick.
Em actually succeeds, she just looks
Like a cool piece of production design.
The c*ck and kugrash failed.
Wally actually succeeded.
So the dc for this is 14.
- Great.
- What was the success for...
- Hm?
- What was the success for performance?
- Oh, you have—
- I mean, yeah.
- What was whose success for performance?
- What was the dc for performance check?
- The dc for performance
to not f*ck up misty is 15.
- Oh, then i failed too.
- Oh, he failed as well.
Okay, so it's going to be 16.
- You didn't add anything to that?
- Do we have homework tonight?
- All right, so we're rolling two dice.
You need to beat a 16.
- Okay.
Now that i know how it
works, i'll reroll on those.
- What?
- What?
- With a bless?
- With a bless i got 10.
- No no, you add your performance to it.
- Oh, i add my performance to it?
- Yeah.
- Oh, plus 11!
- Oh, then you succeed.
- Oh yay!
- It was 28.
- 28.
- Last time it was 16.
- Yeah.
- Oh yeah.
- Cool.
These two little mobsters over here
Are gonna go, they're each
gonna take shots at misty,
What's your, you're on,
i know you're on 'em.
Plus 14.
I'm gonna need two
constitution saving throws.
- So that's one save, right?
- Oh yes, thank you.
- We did have homer.
- Ah, all right.
Well, i'll think about—
- We did, we actually did.
- Ah f*ck.
That is a seven.
- Aren't you blessed?
- You are blessed.
- Oh sorry, a...
Two constitution saving throws,
So one of them is three, seven, nine,
And then one of them is five, seven...
Nine and 10.
- Nine and 10, okay.
Firstly—
- How do you get, is it a saving throw?
You get to add three to it?
- We didn't, i'm sorry.
The saving throw you add three to,
Also these guys are fae, so sorry,
There's a lot of math going on right now.
Let me actually roll—
- Oh god!
- I'm gonna roll to see if these guys...
Okay, one of them does still hit,
Even with the protection.
- Are they just attacking her?
- They're just attacking.
- Can i also make my attack
on them from sentinel?
- They're ranged attacks,
So it's these guys up here.
- Okay, excuse me.
- This guy is under hypnotic pattern.
- Oh, he is!
- Yeah.
- We've totally botched all of this!
None of this happens, they
both miss, everything is good!
- Great!
- Cool!
Good!
It's good, because they
both went before you anyway,
But none of it would have mattered.
- Great.
- D&d has a lot going on.
Okay.
- A lot of arithmetic.
One failure, one success in the ritual.
That is going to be
These seelie.
- Wait, i haven't gone!
- You haven't even gone, your turn,
That's right, thank you, yes, yes, yes.
- So what i would like to do
Is cast puppet on titania,
Which is a constitution saving throw.
And on a failed save,
the target must move up
To its speed in a direction you choose.
In addition, and let me see
If you will let me do this, brennan.
- Mm-Hmm.
- You can cause the target to
drop whatever it's holding,
So i would love for her to
drop that beautiful crown
That is on her head.
- Ooh!
I would be very down to allow that.
She's making a constitution save.
She does have advantage against spells.
- Great.
Love it.
- Let's see how she fares,
She's gotta beat a 16.
Constitution is not her best score.
She succeeds.
- Well, you know what?
It was worth a try.
- She's so f*cking powerful.
- She's f*cking titania!
She's queen of the fairies!
- Don't you remember when she
tried to cast that big spell?
f*ck' failed.
- Yeah, true.
- And then i would like to misty step
To the other side of ricky,
So i'm still within
his aura of protection,
But i'm not surrounded by
all of these fae creatures.
- Sounds like right here.
- Yeah.
- Awesome.
- Bet it looked cool.
- And you, you see,
Cool.
And you see that you're so,
You're surrounded, you
didn't take any damage.
Some other bad things happened,
You fully teleport in a flash of light
And hit the f*ck' high note.
- I throw a smoke b*mb for—
- You have real magic,
But you also are throwing smoke bombs
Just to add a little bit of extra spice.
- I just, we want to
give it some momentum.
- So if this person
tries to go attack her,
Will i get an attack
of opportunity on them?
- Yeah, if anyone leaves
your threatened area,
Yes, absolutely.
- Am i still, do i have to
be within five feet of you,
Or within 10 feet of you?
- To get 10 feet, so if
you go five feet forward—
- Oh f*ck.
- Yeah, i might move—
- Mr. Confetti!
- If you, actually,
Even though that aura's very good,
I will also say that things could move to,
No actually yeah, that's great.
Nevermind, yeah.
- So fae, if they move towards me now,
Both ricky and sofia
get opportunity attacks?
- Unless, sofia would.
Ricky will only get it if they don't,
If they leave his threatened area.
So they could move—
- But he has sentinel.
So if they move—
- If they attack, yes.
Then you get attacks on
them, that's correct.
- Okay, great.
- Cool.
You,
You know,
That you have
but slumbered here, pow!
You appear,
that's your bonus action.
Your action, that's going to be, yeah,
That's gonna be the seelie.
Cool.
So this one, first of
all, isn't going to move
Without leaving ricky's threatened area.
This one does leave.
- Woo!
- Sofia's.
- Okay.
It's probably gonna hit,
So i'm not gonna add anything to it yet.
But.
Okay, does a 28 hit.
- Yeah, for sure.
- Okay.
- Nice.
- Ooh!
- Can i use my bonus
When i'm getting an attack of opportunity?
- No, it's just one attack.
- Okay, so it's just that
one attack, all right.
- Cool.
- I can't use a key point to add
An extra flurry of blows or something?
- No, you can't, you could use a key point
To do stunning strike.
- Stunning strike, okay,
i'll do stunning strike.
- Cool.
And the dc on that is 14,
It's a constitution save, correct?
- Yeah.
- Nat one.
You see it, this person,
This person goes to attack,
And instead you roundhouse kick
This elven warrior right in the head.
She,
Is extremely stunned 'til
the end of your next turn.
- Nice.
- Wild.
Those two move over here.
This one's going to try to avoid ricky,
So five, 10, 15.
- Doesn't she leave em's—
- Yeah, she does,
So em's gonna take a swipe
And move over here to you.
Em misses.
- Dang it.
- This one, i actually
don't think can get to you.
Unless it goes through
ricky, so this one's—
- Is that leaving,
Don't i get an attack, oh, i already—
- You only use your reaction.
So ricky, you do get an attack
opportunity on this one here
That's moving past you.
- Mkay, i will swing.
That is 20-Something.
- You definitely hit.
- All right, cool.
Then i'll do 1d8.
- Do you—
- Still fully naked.
d*ck fully out on stage.
- Yes.
And i'd like to divine smite as well.
- Nice.
- So that was five plus...
Seven.
Two.
So five.
- 19, 17?
- Seven, two, five...
- Seven, two, and five is 14.
You wallop that seelie,
And stop it in its tracks with sentinel,
Preventing it from closing in.
- Woo!
- Incredible.
Yeah, your two warrior
buddies got your back.
Whoa, bah, bah, bah!
You see that the critic from
the new york times says,
The fight choreography
in what i had presumed
Would be a violence-Less play,
Is really stunning, incredible work.
They are set, but two
of them are gonna get
Attacks at disadvantage against misty.
Ooh, that's not very good.
At all.
- Or just one, right?
'cause isn't one of them getting to her
But not attacking?
- No, one of them, the two of them
Are getting with the ability to attack.
- Ah, which ever one succeeded against me.
- The, are you gonna
subtract from this attack?
- Yes.
- Okay, cool.
Go ahead and roll your cutting words.
- That is a four.
- That prevents the hit, yep.
Another one attacks.
- Oh god.
- Okay, one of them runs up misty,
And deals you...
- sh*t.
- 20 points of damage.
- g*dd*mn.
- Do you have the juicy
c*ck added to your health?
'cause it's right next to you.
- Cool.
That's the seelie.
Incredible, that's now going to be sofia.
- Okay.
I'm just gonna—
- Don't forget you still
have bardic if you need it.
- f*ck up this person in front of me.
And since she's stunned, i have advantage
On all my attacks.
- Go ahead and roll.
- Nice.
- First one is going to be,
I'm guessing 21 hit, so i'm
not gonna use my bardic.
Oh wait, actually.
I'm guessing 25 hits.
- 25 does hit.
- Okay.
It's gonna be nine, second one.
It's gonna be, it was
definitely gonna hit.
It's gonna be 28,
And then...
Just six.
How's she looking?
- Okay.
So now you're rolling
damage for these, right?
- Oh no, that's the damage,
I just, oh sorry, i just
sufficiently rolled the—
- Got you.
How much damage did you over-Roll?
- I think it was nine and then six,
So 15 so far?
- Nine and then six.
She drops on nine, dead.
- Oh okay, so can i then actually,
'cause i'm gonna flurry of blows,
Can i use a disengage so then
Use the rest of my attack?
- You don't even have to disengage,
No one's threatening you right now.
- Oh, okay!
So i'm gonna go over to this person.
- Mm-Hmm.
- And then do an attack on,
do my second attack on them.
- Cool.
- This should be looking
really bad.
- Does a 20 hit?
- A 20 does hit, yes.
- Okay.
So that's gonna be seven.
- Okay.
- And then i'm gonna flurry of blows.
Oh that is, they're both gonna hit.
- Cool.
- And then—
- Is that a 19?
- A 19 crits, doesn't it?
- 19 crits.
- No, no, no, no, that's when,
That's if i do my hex blade.
- Oh, right.
- So that's,
So i do another,
- 14?
Another 14 damage to the one there?
- Yeah.
- You drop two of the seelie in one round.
Sofia, whoa!
- Whoa!
- I'm gonna need a performance, dex,
Or an acrobatics.
- You have bardic, i think?
- I don't even need it,
I'm saving it for when i need it,
I got a 30.
- You see one extremely big
guy in the back of the house
That was not excited about
coming to this premier,
But he sees like, got a big coat on,
And was clearly would rather
see an action movie, goes,
Woo!
Broadway rules, dude!
Broadway f*ck' rules!
I love the theater!
Yeah, that is
An incredible acrobatic success.
This one f*ck' drops.
Sofia, incredible turn.
Oh, this one that you stopped,
I just realized, you don't stun them,
You just stop them,
So that one is gonna take a swing on you.
- All right.
- And is going to hit.
Which is going to deal you...
I'm gonna need a
constitution saving throw.
- So can i go back to do one thing?
So since i did my flurry of blows,
I actually get the disengage,
So i'm gonna disengage from there
And be right next to this person.
- Awesome, great.
- Okay.
That was 17, you said?
Eleven—
- That's a success, yeah.
- Okay.
- So you hold on to your protection,
But you do take 17 points of damage.
- All right, cool.
- That's going to be—
- I'm at 71.
- That's gonna
be, that's the seelie,
Sofia just went, that's awesome.
- Oh, i haven't been rolling
for my concentration.
- Oh for you—
- So i'll do it right now.
I have hypnotic pattern
on just the one guy.
- Oh yeah, that's right.
Yeah, go for it.
- Oh, protection from good and evil is—
- Do i add my, oh yeah.
I'm fine.
Yeah.
- Cool.
- 10.
- Even when he, but you're
trying to beat a 13,
So you took 26 points of damage.
- Oh wait, plus my constitution?
- Yeah, plus your constitution modifier.
Do you beat a 13?
- Oh hey, plus three, right?
- Oh, plus three.
- Plus three, yeah.
- So plus, yeah, absolutely, i get 15.
- Cool, cool, cool.
You're holding on to your spell just fine.
That's awesome.
Cool.
Don confetti is going to drop down
And make an attack on misty.
- f*ck!
Don, we've been such good old friends!
- It is a disadvantage, that's correct.
I can't believe how good
protection from good and evil is.
- It's great.
- Thank god.
- And misses.
- Woo!
- And then he goes ahead,
But is a little bit
lower in elevation now.
That's going to be...
You hear the noise of stephen sondheim
Struggling with the pixies in the back.
And that's going to be ricky.
- Ricky is going to, huh.
- There's two seelies still there.
- There's the one, okay, so i'll—
- There's a seelie right
next to you in the—
- Can i take an attack on this one,
Then take a five foot
step between the two,
Does that make sense?
- You can move between your attack
And your extra attack, yes.
- So i will just attack,
How hurt are you?
- I'm at 39.
- Does it feel like
someone's gonna heal you
Before the next—
- I can do it.
- I'll be fine.
- All right, i'm just gonna attack
The one in front of me.
So first.
A 15.
- That's a definite hit.
- Bless.
And then, oh.
Even better.
- Cool.
- Okay, so for the first one that's,
I'll do divine smite
on that person as well.
So that's, can i have one of your dudes?
- Yeah.
Oh, right here.
- Cool.
- So this is the first attack.
So this is eight, seven, two,
So 17?
- 17.
Cool.
Badly hurt, 17 damage, badly hurt.
- Okay, and then i'll
just do a regular attack
And decide if i divine smite after.
- Cool.
- So that's...
Oh, i didn't even add the eight.
Just the flat eight as well.
So 17 plus eight.
- Oh, in that case you drop that seelie
On the first attack, boom.
- Great.
- Another seelie.
- And then i'm gonna move
over to the other one.
Under don confetti.
- Cool.
- And attack that guy.
Which, yeah okay.
That's a 20.
- 20 hits, yeah.
- Okay, cool.
Then...
So that's, i hit him for...
- Okay.
- And i guess i'll divine smite.
- Cool.
Burning through those spells, yeah.
- So that's another 12 on top of that.
- Cool, he's looking f*cked up.
- That, and i can't use
a bonus action, right?
'cause is divine smite a bonus action?
- Bonus, divine smite
is not a bonus action,
So you can use a bonus action.
- As a bonus action i'll use sanctuary.
- Is sanctuary concentration?
- It is not.
- Whoa!
- According to this card, at least.
- Very, wow.
Ricky protecting the health.
- You know what, gotta pay it forward.
I've been saving ricky so many times.
- Incredible turn from ricky.
Awesome.
f*ck it.
You see, it is now—
- I'm just so inspired
by that beautiful p*nis!
- The whole crowd is!
- Jiggling around the stage!
- Wally—
- How has his p*nis got abs?
- Wally makes another
successful performance check
And moves next to misty to
start harmonizing with misty.
Em rushes forward to misty,
And is going to heal you for...
Esther runs over here out of sight
Of where everyone is,
But you see her flatten
herself to the catwalk,
Hold out her baseball bat,
And blast titania with a lightning bolt.
- Sick.
- Woo!
- Whoa.
And it's not countered or anything?
- Titania's already used
her counter this round.
- So are we looking to save sondheim?
- I'm gonna run back.
- Save sondheim?
- On my next one.
- I feel like i'm on misty duty.
- Yeah.
- Me too.
- I'm halfway back there.
- 'cause i can, what a great,
What are we talking about?
- Save sondheim.
- Who's on sondheim duty?
- Are we trying to save stephen
sondheim from these fairies?
- Brennan, does wally have
any movement to scoop his dad
And run him towards sondheim if—
- If kugrash wanted it, yeah,
He could actually, instead of singing,
If you look at that, wally goes like,
Dad, we're in a musical!
- Yeah!
You know stephen sondheim, right?
- I dreamed a
dream in times gone by!
- Yeah, we
gotta go save his life!
- What?
- You gotta go run me back!
- Okay!
- Pick up your dad!
- No, you know,
like hakuna matata!
With sondheim!
- Yeah, you're so good, kid!
- We
gotta help the lion king!
- I love you, mufasa!
He rushes you back here.
- Mufasa's fine.
- You rush back past pete,
You see alyssa, misty's assistant saying,
Is everything all right?
Does she need a coffee,
what's going on out there?
- Everything's good!
- Cool.
You rush back there,
Esther blasts titania
with a lightning bolt.
And i think actually, she can
nail the guy behind him too.
No, that guy dodges.
That is now going to be back to kingston.
- What do you at now?
- I'm at 50.
- 50, great.
Oh, what a dream!
- I think i can get to sondheim.
- You got sondheim, great.
- I got sondheim.
- Guys, we have, i mean, we're nailing it.
I guess, let me try and hit,
I'll try and hit titania
with a guiding bolt.
- Hell yeah, go for it.
- It's gonna be 18.
- 18 hits.
- Great.
Great, great, great.
Great, great.
- f*ck yes.
- 17.
And then next attack on her has advantage.
- Ooh!
- You reach up a hand.
Light erupts from backstage.
Titania shrieks in pain.
Yeah, badly hurt.
And then, are you staying in
position, or are you moving?
- I'll wait for kug.
Can i make an insight check on alyssa?
- Sure.
- Great.
Nat one.
- Alyssa seems pretty useless to you.
Kugrash, that's you, baby.
- All right.
I guess i'm, at first
i'm gonna use my movement
To see how, 'cause there's
a curtain here, right?
- Yeah, right behind the trees.
- Great, so i would like
to get behind the trees
And see what's going on here.
- So, but you want to
get behind the curtain,
In other words?
- Yeah, behind the curtain,
Before i use any more
movement or anything.
Just take the five or ten
feet, whatever it takes.
- Cool.
How are you getting back there?
You're just running back there?
- Running back there.
- Two pixies open
fire if you run back there,
They're ready to action.
- But sondheim's free?
- Sondheim is slumped
against a bunch of boxes.
It looks like they just,
When the fight broke out,
grabbed stephen sondheim,
Started kicking the sh*t out of him.
- Stephen
sondheim, are you all right?
- You see stephen sondheim says,
Listen, i've had worse
from the new yorker,
You know what i'm talking about?
- That wit, that wit!
We're gonna die, bud!
- Tell him i love into the woods!
- Sofia loves into the woods.
- Incredible.
Yeah, one pixie's actually
gonna take a swing at you.
- My son loves the lion king!
We're huge fans of your work!
- I did not make that.
I had nothing to do with that.
- It was really good!
- That's sir elton john
and wasn't it tim rice?
- Yeah!
- You see that, takes a swing.
That guy misses.
Next guy, next pixie hits.
I'm gonna need a
constitution saving throw.
- Hmm, six.
- You're blessed.
- Oh, i am blessed, it's
probably not gonna help too much.
- Well.
- Are you, no you're not.
- Nine.
- Nine?
Okay, you take ten points of damage.
- Good.
- As one of them shoots you with a g*n,
And you are poisoned.
- Good!
Oh, i'm immune to being poisoned.
- Oh, you're a dirty little rat!
- A dirty little rat!
- You are not poisoned!
So just, whap!
- So let's turn around and poison them!
- I actually have
resistance to poison damage.
I don't know if any other damage—
- Oh, no this was not poison damage.
It was just with a g*n,
and then poison addition.
Cool, but you use 10 feet of
movement to get within range.
They hit you, and—
- And they're just standing there.
- They're just
standing there, yeah.
- Okay, okay.
So one guy's right on top of me.
- And this is past, now you're just back
In regular new york,
'cause this is a big curtain here,
So the audience, you're not
f*cking with the ritual at all
If you're going to get back here.
- Yeah, i'm better behind the curtain.
Let's see here, okay.
I got that one guy there.
- He's an excellent stage hand.
- Excellent, that—
- Oh my god, you'd be
such a good stage hand.
- Yeah, thank you.
Let's see.
Okay, you know what?
Maybe i'll summon my rats.
- Yeah!
- I'm gonna go ahead and use my,
Oh wait, no rats aren't gonna be any good
Against these f*ck' flying dudes.
m*therf*ckers.
- Can you summon wasps?
- Pidgeons?
Bumblebees?
- I can summon, i can conjure animals,
But i can't pick what they are.
- Real slow, buzzing
around, going for flowers.
They're not attacking anybody
Because it hurts them to do that.
- It's just a bunch of, yeah,
They just fly up to the fake trees.
- Make some honey.
- I'm just gonna do
thunder wave on this guy
Right in front of me.
- Dope.
Go ahead and cast the spell.
- Cool, i'm gonna do it at a third level,
'cause why not.
- Hell yeah.
- Okay, so 4d8.
Nine, 16 damage.
- Nice.
- 16 damage?
- Yeah.
- You, pew.
Blast, he's f*ck' dead.
Little homie.
- Nice.
- f*ck yeah.
- Wasn't that the little homie?
- Little homie's gone!
He's like, oh,
Aah!
- Go to hell!
- That's kugrash, that's your first—
- That's for sondheim, you son of a b*tch!
He made my son's second
favorite movie, the lion king!
- I had nothing to do with that, again,
I need to be very clear.
- Modest, you're modest!
- Cool!
You blast that pixie back.
That's now going to be...
Titania.
Ooh baby.
- This, did your spells
already give advantage
To the person attacking,
or disadvantage to her?
- Person attacking gets advantage.
- Okay.
- I wish i could have done more.
- No, you did great.
- Hold on.
- It's amped out here, my heart is racing.
- I rolled concentration
on the fire, by the way,
And i passed.
Even though it doesn't really matter.
I don't, the fire's done.
- A big wall of fire just holding it down.
- The fire did its job.
But it's still there.
- I know, but someone
might get thrown into that.
- Treacherous terrain.
- Yeah, if you want, throw
somebody in the fire.
It's still there.
Something's happening.
- Yeah, so he's doing a
lot of math and lines.
- Don't worry though,
stephen sondheim is okay.
- I don't know.
- As long as sondheim is alive.
Sondheim's alive!
- Yeah.
Titania moves back
All the way, yeah, all the way back here,
In fact, you know what?
She's actually going to
take a little trip up.
- My girl.
Everybody's flying today.
- Fairies!
Yay!
- That's high.
- Spectacular!
Spectacular.
- You guys see, i'm going to need
Kingston, pete,
Ricky, sofia,
And misty to all make
constitution saving throws.
She's actually got to,
She's got to pass a wisdom saving throw
To be able to hurt misty
'cause of sanctuary.
- Should we wait for that, or—
- Yeah, wait for that.
- Wait, unless it's a, is it,
It doesn't matter if it's
an area of effect spell?
- Area of effect would
prevent her from casting it
To hurt misty, but unfortunately
She passes her saving throw.
- Oh okay, yeah.
- She bypasses sanctuary,
I don't know if you guys have
Any other piecey, creepy things
You want to tell me about right now.
But otherwise, i'm going to
need a constitution saving throw
From again, ricky, misty, sofia,
Kingston and—
- Wait, if she couldn't pass,
If she couldn't cast it on misty,
Would the whole thing be...
Canceled?
- Potentially yes.
- Okay, then i'll do a bend luck
And spend two sorcery points.
Or is it, yeah.
- As your reaction?
Cool, go for it.
- So 1d4 to subtract from hers.
One.
- Okay, and then i will
do my cutting words on—
- You've already used
your reaction this turn,
You haven't gone yet.
- I did?
God, these turns are so long!
- Doesn't 18 pass, 'cause i
also have bardic inspiration
I can add to it.
- Well, tell me whether
you want to use it or not.
- 18.
- I got 25.
- Is it constitution?
- Constitution saving throw.
- We get three from—
- Oh wait, no, it's more than—
- You get three from me.
- Yeah, i get three from you,
So actually it's 21,
I'm gonna sit pretty, i
think 21's gonna pass.
- Yeah, 25.
- 21, 18.
- A saving throw from
enchantment or possession?
- No, constitution.
- Do i add plus three to myself?
- Yes you do.
- Okay, so then i got a 27.
- Cool.
- All right.
f*ck it.
- 19, okay.
- More than that, 'cause it's—
- 22, plus your, was it con?
- Cool.
- 24.
- And actually kug?
I'm going to include you in that,
I need a constitution
throw from you as well.
- What are you even doing, dude?
If kug's involved.
- Yeah, i'm so far back!
- What the f*ck are you even doing, dude?
- Get out of here, man.
- I wonder if it's some
kind of mind trickery.
- f*ck' sick, dude.
- I'm not saying.
- No, it's constitution.
- You're sick, i got a f*ck' eight.
You're sick!
- You're sick, dude.
- Okay, your constitution was eight?
- Eight, think about it!
Think about how you're sick.
- Think about it.
- Come on!
- Go to bed tonight and think about it.
- Do you feel bad enough
to take this back?
- Do i have to—
- Why are you doing this, you
gotta ask yourself right now!
- Dude, he just needs the d4s.
Don't even trip right now!
- Yeah, he's looking for d4s!
- Oh wow, he's holding
up the d6s so we can see!
- Yeah, he's not using—
You're sick!
- You're f*ck' sick, man!
- Somebody stop him!
Stop it!
Somebody call wizards of the coast!
This is not—
- It's not tabletop if he drops the dice,
We won't take damage!
- What weird homebrew
bullshit is this, you f*ck?
f*ck' reddit's gonna
eat your a*s about this,
You know that?
- Yeah, you're gonna love it.
- Cheeks and all.
- Your whole f*ck'
a*s, you little b*tch!
- We're all gonna eat your a*s, brennan!
- You're never gonna sh*t again, you f*ck!
- Okay!
- You're never gonna
f*ck' sit down again.
- The lady titania goes,
Enough!
I have seen enough!
Boom!
Everyone that made their save—
- Which was who?
- Which was one, two, three, four, five.
Everyone who made their save
Takes 24 points of radiant damage.
- How much rebuke, she did damage to me!
- Give her the health too.
- Okay.
- 24?
- Kugrash, you take 48 points of damage.
- I'm so close to dead.
- Can i make an insight check
As to what the hell happened?
- I literally just rolled two 10s,
That's 20 fire damage to her.
- Jesus.
- Well, i think she also,
She does get a dexterity saving throw.
But she'll take half that.
- Okay.
She's looking f*cked up.
- What kind of saves, do we have
To do our concentration saves?
- Also kugrash, you take the damage
And you are blinded.
She's, i am queen of the seelie fae!
All of this must stop at once!
- f*ck.
- She doesn't even have
line of sight on you, right?
Does it matter?
- Yeah, she's—
- She's, it doesn't need line of sight.
She's, this is a 60 foot radius.
She's putting the center point of this
In the wall, basically.
- Cool.
- She actually obliterates
her own soldier, he's dead.
- What's the dc for succeeding
For holding on to your
concentration spell?
- Yeah, i'm gonna need some dcs.
- I'm done, yeah, my fire's, i mean—
- Your fire's toast?
Go see, yeah.
- Half of 50, yeah, it's gone.
- So half of 24, so 12?
- So half of 24 is 12, yeah.
- 12 plus what?
What am i adding to the roll?
- Constitution.
- Plus three if you're—
- I'm not close, but i'm good.
- Okay, seven, yeah, i passed.
- You passed?
Cool.
How's that erupting earth doing?
- Oh, i haven't, i didn't
roll for that, sorry.
- That's not gonna—
- Not good, yeah.
- Bum-Bum-Bum.
- Let me get this—
- And then hypnotic
pattern's gone as well?
- Oh no, hypnotic pattern is still there.
- Oh cool!
- Yeah, i got an, i rolled, i have a 26.
- Dope.
- A 27.
- Incredible.
You guys see, however,
That em is down.
- Oh no!
Oh my god.
- Wally is down.
- Wally!
- My god.
- Oh my god.
- Alyssa's down.
And esther actually was
out of the blast radius.
But huge spell goes off.
Pete, that's gonna be you.
- Great.
I am going to step forward and say,
With the power of the dream world,
f*ck off!
And i am going to cast
A higher level fireball spell on titania.
- Okay.
- On which you have advantage.
- Yeah.
And now i have advantage.
So i do roll—
- Well, fireball isn't an attack roll.
Fireball is a reflex saving throw.
- It took range, yeah.
- But she's going to attempt to,
It's after her turn,
she's going to attempt
To counter spell that again.
And i think, let me just double check
Counter spell real quick.
- Dude, have we hurt titania at all?
- She would have to do it a fourth level
To cancel it immediately.
- Yeah we, i just hellish rebuked her.
- So she's gonna, she's—
- Yeah, you got her.
- Fireball higher level, right?
- Yeah, i'm doing it as a four.
- She's gonna roll to see
If she can counter spell it.
She does not counter spell it.
- Ohh!
- Everyone give me your d6s, please.
- How many do you need?
- I need nine.
- Nice.
- Hey, brennan.
Hey, brennan.
- Yummy yummy, tastes like a*s!
- Oh, i still need one more.
- Sure.
- Oh yeah!
- Okay!
You got a lot of ones, honey!
- Honey!
- Honey!
That's...
- 30.
- 30 points of damage.
- Hell yeah.
- The exact same amount
i rolled yesterday.
- Really?
- With 9d6s, i also rolled—
- A f*cking colossal,
So the people have seen
this sun born into space,
And now a roiling ball of fire,
Everyone's like, ooh, ahh!
Titania looks hurt.
She looks hurt.
- I wish i'd critted.
Oh, you can't on that.
- That's going to be—
- Just all sixes is a crit.
- Yeah, aw, that would have felt so—
- You got all sixes on that?
- I'm gonna need wild magic from pete.
- Oh yeah, right.
Eight.
- What are you up to on wild magic?
- Now it's gonna be on a four.
Four or lower.
These mobsters are going to go,
These pixie mobsters.
They're gonna make some attacks
With disadvantage on misty,
That's a miss.
That actually is a hit,
I'm gonna need a
constitution saving throw.
- Plus three.
Oh wait.
Are they sh**ting a g*n at her?
- Yeah.
- Plus bless.
- Right.
Plus three points bless.
- 12, 15, 17.
- That's gonna pass.
You do however take
seven points of damage.
- Okay.
- What are you at?
- I'm at 19.
- How much damage did you take this round?
- This guy's gonna take a shot at kugrash.
And he actually gets
advantage, 'cause you're blind.
And he misses both times anyway.
You can hear him firing.
That's going to be, that's the mobsters.
Misty, that's your turn.
- Great.
- You took 57 damage in the last turn.
- Is it statistically
possible for me at all?
- You need, luckily don't
roll with disadvantage,
But you need to roll a nat 20 to succeed.
- Great.
- She's done it before,
she'll do it again!
- Box of doom!
- I feel it!
- Box of doom coming out.
So you actually, you don't
need your blessed dice,
'cause you can only auto-Succeed.
- Great.
- You need a nat 20.
- Gods of the theater,
be with me this day.
- Ooh, a 13 and a 14.
- 13 and 14.
That is a failure.
- Well!
Okay.
- By the way, i should say.
Just like with normal death saves,
A nat one is two failures,
And a nat 20 is two successes.
- Yes.
- Okay.
- Misty has two failures and one success.
Misty, you may take your turn.
- I would like to...
- Can you...
- I would like to cast
vicious mockery on titania,
As a bonus action, can trip?
- Yes, go for it.
- Which is a wisdom saving throw,
Or take 2d4 psychic damage
And then she has disadvantage, oh wait.
She already has disadvantage
on the next attack.
- No, she, we only have
advantage on attacking her.
- Okay, so she does not
have a disadvantage, yeah.
Okay, great.
So i would like to do that.
- Cool.
She has to make what kind of,
She makes a wisdom saving throw?
- It's a wisdom saving throw.
- She fails.
- Great!
- Great.
- So she takes four damage.
But then has disadvantage
on her next attack.
- Okay.
- And then i would like to try
And cast puppet on her again,
Which is again, a
constitution saving throw.
- To drop the crown?
- To drop the crown and then fly
As far as her movement can take her.
- No, no, no, keep her
here, keep her here.
- She succeeds against puppet.
- f*ck!
- You wicked little child!
You will return home
And i will get my shoes back, you b*tch!
I want those shoes back!
Cool, that's your action, bonus action.
- Hey, yeah, i mean,
There's nothing much else i can do
Except move and that doesn't seem
Like there's any point in me doing that.
So f*ck me, i'm done.
- Plant your feet.
The seelie do not exist anymore,
They're all f*ck' dead.
Sofia, that's you.
- Okay.
Since i am currently
have otherworldly leap,
I'm going to jump up here.
- Cool.
- And then i'm gonna use a
key point, step of the wind,
So then jump and attack her.
- Hold on one second!
- Oh my god, some crouching
tiger, hidden dragon sh*t.
- I jump as far as i can.
And then.
- I just want to make,
'cause this is the
dopest sh*t in the world.
Oh!
It lasts a minute, and
it's not concentration!
Holy sh*t, let me just
see what you can do.
If you are using step of the wind
And you have jump active,
Your high jump is 24 feet off the ground.
- So i was here.
- Yep, yeah.
You can reach up and grab it.
- Jesus.
- That is f*cking insane.
So step of the wind also gives you a dash,
You're taking a dash action, right?
- Yeah, so just basically,
So i can jump up here
And then jump and basically grapple with—
- It is, you can actually
make it all the—
- Yeah.
- That is the craziest sh*t in the world.
- I'm gonna grapple her
And actually, since i
used step of the wind,
I could still attack.
- You have your full action.
- f*ck her up!
- Can you grapple her wings?
- Hold on, i'm sorry, one sec.
Yeah, you, yes, you can choose to grapple
With an attack if you want,
Or you can just make your attacks.
- I'll use one, maybe i'll use one attack.
I just want to f*ck her up.
How f*cked up does she look?
- She looks way worse than she was
When she came in.
She doesn't look like
she's on her last legs,
But she looks hurt.
- Oh my god—
- Can you grapple her wings?
Is she flying?
- Can i use one attack
To try to grapple her wings,
And then the next attack
to just attack her?
- Yeah, give me a grapple check,
So this is gonna be an—
- Will i get an advantage on this,
Or i wait 'til the attack
'cause of kingston's thing?
- Oh yeah, you want to use
advantage on your first attack,
So do a damage attack, and
then we'll do a grapple, right?
- Okay.
- Cool.
- Cool.
- So this one gets advantage.
- Okay, does a 17 hit?
- 17 exactly hits.
- Yeah!
I'm not even using my bardic yet.
Okay, so then i go for,
Hit her for 11.
- 11 points of damage, jesus, okay.
- And then i am gonna grapple her.
Try and grapple her so that
she can't be flying anymore.
- You're gonna make opposed athletics?
- Would that even work, or is
her magic just levitating her?
- No, no, she's flying under
the power of her wings.
Your extra weight, if you like,
You're basically wrestling
to take her to the ground.
- Yeah.
- So i'm gonna say that you
can effectively grapple her
If you beat her score,
I'll say that if you beat,
let's actually do this.
Let's do a box of doom roll,
'cause we got the box of doom going.
- Great.
- If you beat her roll, you grapple her.
If you beat her by five or more,
You begin to take her down to the ground.
- Okay.
- Yeah!
- I'm still gonna have
another attack on her.
- This is athletics.
- Can i also use a key
point for a stunning strike
For that hit that i did to her?
- To do stunning strike?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, you can do that.
- So she would get to
do a constitution save.
- So she does a constitution save.
- Does she save?
- She fails.
- So she's stunned!
- She's stunned.
- So how does that affect this sh*t?
So does she just fall?
- Let's put the box of doom away.
- We made him put the box of doom away!
- 'cause then maybe i
could just pound on her!
- We see, you guys see here,
First of all, give me an acrobatics check
With an advantage if you'd be so kind,
Just for your performance.
- Okay.
- A staten island woman
Just beating the sh*t out of this—
- That's gonna be a 27!
- Fairy queen.
- You're guys see,
Titania goes and looks at the audience
And says, fools!
Fools, all of you!
I, titania, queen of the seelie fae,
Command that you kneel!
You guys see sofia,
Leaps!
f*ck' like,
Runs right off the catwalk,
You see that esther goes,
you f*ck' rule, sophie!
You got this!
- We gotta get coffee sometime!
- I would honestly love that.
- Hey, me too!
- Yeah, let's have a big ol' coffee day!
- You see that you sprint
right off the catwalk,
Titania goes,
You dragon ball z jump into the air,
And up at the top,
Just become like,
Buh-Buh-Buh-Bum!
Where you're hitting her
in the middle of a jump.
Whoop!
A bunch of her teeth fly
out of her f*ck' head,
Her crown skews on her head.
- Could we say for flavor that,
Instead of stunning strike,
I take off my weight loss corset trainer
And just put it around her
So that she—
- She's bound up,
Titania crashes out of the
sky with you on top of her,
To the ground.
They're each gonna take falling damage.
Although you could, you have slow fall.
- I got slow fall, so it'll
be reduced by five times six.
So 30.
- Cool.
You take four falling damage.
- Okay.
- She takes 34 falling damage?
- No, she doesn't take 34 falling damage.
But she is looking f*cked up, g*ng.
- And then i still have an
attack and my bonus attack.
- So you used bonus as step of the wind.
- Oh, okay!
But i still have my second attack.
- No, that was your, oh no, stun!
Yeah, you stunned for second attack!
It's with advantage so she's stunned.
- Grab that crown!
- f*ck.
- Okay, it's with advantage.
And then 12 plus eight, 20's gonna hit.
And i'mma f*ck her up for
- Nice.
- Incredible.
- Can we say i'm straddled over her?
- Amazing.
- That guy in the back row's like,
What the f*ck!
- Yeah, you see that guy
in the back row is like,
Woo!
Kung fu shakespeare!
This rules!
Perry lafev is like, i'm
going to strangle somebody!
- And then i think i'm
high on the performance,
So i turn to the audience again and i say,
I may be little, but i am fierce!
- Standing ovation, woo!
Everyone's capping, yeah!
It's a different actress!
You see incredible martial
arts, brings her to the ground.
That's going to be, you see
that confetti wheels over—
- Does she—
- Is her spell broken if they're—
- She's gonna roll concentration.
- Yeah, i'm blinded by her right now,
I don't know if that was
a concentration spell.
- No, she holds on to the spell.
So you're still blinded,
She holds on to the spell on them.
And confetti moves down,
He's gonna make an attack on sofia.
Hits.
Sofia—
- I'm gonna hellish rebuke him again,
'cause i have two spells left now.
- Go for it.
- He'll take 10 damage
Unless he does a dexterity saving throw,
In which case he'll take five.
- He does take 10 damage.
I'm gonna need you to make
A constitution saving throw, though.
- Okay.
It's good.
Do you want me to do the math?
- No, i don't want you to do the math.
You see confetti drops
down to you and says,
Bicicleta, you have acted us
Out of the interests of the family.
This curtain's for you.
Takes a silvery strand of garotte wire,
Loops it over your neck,
Hoists you up, you get your
thumbs in just in time,
But he does hoist you
about 15 feet into the air.
- I say, it's actually still lee,
I went back to lee!
- My apologies.
Your marriage is a beautiful sacrament,
And you will die a married woman.
Cool, you are up in the air
With don confetti now.
- Okay.
- That's going to be...
Buh-Buh-Buh, that's gonna be—
- Just so everyone knows,
she's stunned right now,
So i think you'll all get advantages
On attacks against her.
- Stephen sondheim leaps up
And makes an unarmed attack on the pixie
And punches him in the back of the head.
He's knocked down.
- What a wild—
- He's just, the theater is my home,
And i won't be f*cked with here.
- I hope bernadette peters
comes in and saves us.
- Oh my god, i would die!
- Ricky, that's you, baby.
- Ricky's gonna run for titania.
- Okay.
Yeah, you close distance.
- And...
- Where is her head in
relationship to his d*ck?
- I mean, she's got a
clear taint shot, for sure.
- I'm trying to decide if
i want to rip the crown off
And throw it to misty.
Yeah.
I think i'm gonna do that.
- Hell yeah, she's stunned,
So if that's your action, yeah,
I don't think ricky would
chop someone's head off
As they're stunned on the ground.
- Yeah, it feels wrong.
- But yeah, you rip the crown off,
And throw it—
- To the true queen, titania!
- And you see the whole line,
Go ahead and make me a
performance with advantage there,
Or yeah, an athletics,
no you are speaking,
So this is gonna be performance,
But you do have advantage.
- Okay.
- And you can add bless to this.
- Okay, great.
- Do good!
Do good!
- Do good.
- Okay, a 19 plus four,
Plus whatever my—
- Charisma.
- Three.
So that's a 26.
- You turn completely naked,
Your d*ck out in front of everybody,
You're holding
this ax, you hurl the crown.
And as you say,
You know, this is the
true queen of the fae,
The whole audience goes,
Oh, that's what's going on!
And you see the critic goes,
Extremely risky, and i applaud it.
Takes a note.
Incredible.
That's going, so that's ricky,
So, yeah, sofia, ricky,
What a turn.
There's gonna be some death saving throws
From our allies.
- Oh my god!
- Has kingston gone again?
- No, i'm first up.
- You're next.
- Yep.
- And then other allies, other allies.
I'm trying to think if there's anybody,
Wally's down.
They're all down.
Okay.
- She stays stunned.
Then she won't be able to hurt misty.
- That's going to then be, yeah,
Those are the allies.
No, esther's still up.
Esther is going to cast...
Whoa!
See, esther yells at you, sofie, and says,
Got your back!
And you see that confetti
freezes in midair
And falls to the ground again.
- Oh my god, yeah girl!
- He's under the
effect of a hold person spell.
- Nice.
- We are gonna have to
do more than coffee,
Let's get drinks.
- That's esther's turn.
Then it's gonna be kingston.
- Fourth level mass healing word.
- Ooh.
- So we'll do 2d4.
Five plus what?
What do i add to it?
- Plus your wisdom, so 10.
- Yeah, so 10.
So 10 will go.
My girl, we'll go em, we'll go wally.
- Oh?
- We'll go this man.
We'll go this woman.
- That's five.
So you're using five?
- That's five.
- I'm at five.
- And then one for kug.
- Cool.
- Thank you.
- Incredible.
Whoom!
- And then i'll hit, can i,
How far is, what is—
- Countering?
- 60 feet, how far is 60 feet?
- 60 feet is here.
That's 60.
- That's 60?
Can i hit titania?
- You can absolutely hit titania.
- Yeah, i'll hit titania.
- She's stunned, you get advantage.
- She makes dex saving throws.
- She needs a dex saving throw?
Cool.
She gets disadvantage, or no,
She has advantage normally,
so she just rolls one die.
She succeeds.
- Great.
So no, sorry.
Yeah, the term has
succeeded, devastated with,
Oh, she's good.
- She's good, cool.
- I just sh**t her.
- Okay, right across the stage.
- Good for the show, though.
- Yeah.
- Kugrash, that's you, baby.
- She's been finding a
lot of weird pyrotechnics
That just sh**t across the stage.
- If i wild shape, do i lose my blindness?
- I don't think so.
- Okay.
- You'll gain other senses.
- Yeah, that's really good.
- Yeah, actually, if you change
into something with scent,
Then you don't need sight to attack.
So you wouldn't have
disadvantage on an attack roll.
- Dogs.
- Interesting.
I do have a bear that has—
- Oh yeah!
- Cool, i'll become a brown bear.
Keen smell, bear has advantage
on checks that rely on smell.
- That bear's gotta get on stage.
- Yeah, i was gonna say!
- So shakespearean, i mean, look.
It's a winter's tale and not
it's a midsummer night's dream.
- Your turn into a bear, to bear exits.
You are the shakespearean bear.
Cool, you're a bear.
- Sweet.
I can't, so that was an action.
So you know what?
Can i, i'll use a bonus action,
Healing word on myself.
- Cool.
- Before i, how's wally looking?
- Wally's looking okay, he's badly hurt.
But kingston has healed him.
- Ah, i gotta heal my boy wally.
I'll heal my boy wally.
- Cool.
- Before i do it.
That's eight to wally.
- Cool.
- And then i'll turn into a bear.
- Cool, you turn into a bear.
- Hell yeah, i get bear hit points.
So i'm fine.
- Do you take movement?
- I'll run up to that pixie.
Just so he doesn't sh**t anybody else.
- Rad, you charge him.
That's kugrash.
Titania finishes being stunned.
- No, on my turn.
- Oh, she finishes it on your turn.
- Yeah.
- Gotcha.
So she's just still there.
- Do i see in her eyes
That she wants to move,
but she can't move?
- Yes, you do see that.
- I f*cking smile and i love it.
I slurp some of her blood off my chin.
- Hell yeah, pete, that's you.
- Great.
Okay.
I am going to just keep fireballing, man.
- Hell yeah.
- This time just at a third level.
- Just a third.
- I'm out here fireballing.
- Okay.
- Fireball titania.
- There's probably no
way for you to do that
Without setting the theater on fire
Or hitting ricky.
- Oh, i'm a careful spell.
- Oh hell yeah!
Great, you can hit, so you spend a point.
Dope.
You're gonna hit titania.
- Yeah, just titania.
- You could probably hit
titania and these two pixies
If you want.
- Yeah, yeah, great.
Yeah, 'cause it's a 20 foot radius.
- Yeah, for sure you can hit them.
- Great, so they make dex saving throws
And this time, i just roll 8d6s.
- Dope, go for it.
- I need some d6s please.
Thank you.
- My man.
- Two more, one, two, thank you.
- Is this mine?
- Oh, are they d6s?
- Where did your d6 go?
- That's great, i got it.
- Did you give me a green one or is this—
- Wait, i'll take this red one.
- I threw a d6.
- And then i need, yeah, here's one d6.
- Are you just compiling the
perfect color palate?
- Go for it.
- Come on, give me some sixes!
- Pretty good.
- Yeah, all right, two sixes.
- My boy did well,
My boy gave her six, there you go.
That's my boy right there.
That's my proud son.
Oh yeah.
- What did the purple one do?
- 26!
- That's my boy!
- 26?
These pixies only have 13 hit points,
So they're toast even
if they make their save.
- Thank you.
These are yours.
- Pixies are toast.
- One of these is yours
and one is kingston's.
- Mine.
- Yellow is yours?
- Cool.
- Great, and then wild magic.
- Yeah, give me that wild magic roll.
- 16.
- And how much did you say you did?
You did 26?
- Yeah.
- Okay, titania is looking hurt.
And you didn't do wild magic.
Mobsters are gonna go.
You see this dude flies away,
You do get an attack of
opportunity on him as he flies.
- Good.
f*ck him up!
- Yeah, roll bear damage.
- Do i do bite or claws?
- Claws has opportunity.
- Hell yeah.
- Eight damage.
- That bear, kugrash.
- Wah, just like, badly injured
pixie flies away from you.
- I picture him wearing sunglasses.
- But he does fly up there,
all of her little pixies
Have hit the deck.
- There's still this guy up here.
- That guy up here, yeah.
He just flew up, he's gonna
take a shot at you, misty.
- But he gets disadvantage, right?
- Oh, he does get disadvantage.
- Disadvantage!
- He gets disadvantage
and i get advantage.
- Does he has to make
a wisdom saving throw?
- And he has to make
a wisdom saving throw.
Okay, he succeeds the wisdom saving throw.
Misty, your ac is 14, he does still hit.
- What about if i—
- You can, oh, if you
want to use your reaction,
Do cutting words, you can—
- Cutting words.
- Hit 'em with the razzle dazzle.
- Great.
- I'm gonna let you know right now,
You're gonna need to
roll a five or higher.
- That is an eight.
- Hell yeah!
You, dah!
Hit the note,
Ting!
The b*llet flies off in another direction.
That's going to be,
misty, that is your turn.
I believe you took no damage this round.
- She took no damage.
- Yeah.
- Took no damage this last round.
Let's get this box of doom out.
- She's also blessed.
- And i'm blessed.
- So all we are looking at,
And did anyone fail
their performance checks?
- No.
- I didn't have one.
- No, and no one else is on stage, right?
- I honestly succeeded wildly.
- You do have to roll a performance check
For your c*ck though.
- Oh, i'll dismiss the
c*ck if he's not—
- We'll get rid of him, he's good.
Get that c*ck off
here, let me get that.
Cool.
It's just a dc10.
The only thing that could happen
Is you could roll two ones.
- That is a nat 20.
- Oh my god!
- That is the most important nat 20—
- Oh my f*ck' god!
- I'm gonna live forever!
- Yeah!
Yeah.
You see the band kicks up,
You had one success and two failures,
With life or death,
You hit a nat 20, that's two successes.
- I'm fully squelching a high c.
- Yeah, just, give me your
hand, if we be friends,
And titania shall,
The crown gleams on your head,
Shall restore amends!
Everyone weeps, everyone screams,
They rend their hair,
A few people c*m, it's incredible.
- I might have had—
- I love live theater!
This is why we need to keep this here!
- My god, the spell is successful!
- Woo!
- Can i have my dice back, please?
- Yes you may, i'll
get you your dice back.
Wow, a nat f*ck' 20.
- That's crazy.
- Cool!
- I don't even know what is happening.
- I know, i'm in a fugue state.
- It's crazy.
- Oh, there's another one in there, sorry.
- Is there another one in there?
- Yeah.
- Ooh.
- Brennan lost,
And he knows that reddit's
gonna eat his a*s,
So now he's trying to steal our dice.
- Yummy yummy.
- You lost.
- You lost, you stupid—
- Misty, you still have your full turn.
- Great!
- Just use it to dance.
- What does the crown do?
I'm wearing this crown now.
- It's just a beautiful, gorgeous crown.
You feel that titania is on,
Truly at the edge, the
brink of death over there.
And this is the crown of the seelies.
So you know.
- Great.
I would like to...
Just because it feels right,
Cast irresistible dance on her.
- And so she has to, oh, so
it's my performance check,
My dexterity performance check versus his.
- Whoa.
- Cool.
- And she doesn't—
- So that's really high.
- Holy sh*t.
- That is 20 plus dex.
- The—
- 26.
- The queen of the fae, still stunned,
As you dance, cartoonishly wobbles up,
Her head on a swivel,
Ta-Tap-Tap, ta-Tap-Tap-Tap, ta-Tap.
And begins to buffoonishly
dance around the stage.
- And then as my bonus action,
I'll cast vicious mockery again.
- Go ahead and she rolls.
Fails her save.
- Great.
That's six damage.
- She had four hit points left.
- Woo!
- She's down.
- I k*lled my queen!
This is america, we
don't have royalty here!
- In-f*cking-Credible.
Titania is no more.
- Stephen sondheim thinks
he's next to a bear.
- Honestly a normal day
for stephen sondheim.
- Run on stage with stephen sondheim.
- Sofia, that's
gonna be your turn.
- Is there anyone here
who needs to, oh don!
- Don confetti.
- I'm gonna f*ck' just
attack don confetti.
- Is don confetti now no longer
Under titania's spell, right?
- He is no longer under the spell.
- I'm going to attack him to a point
Where i can intimidate him.
- You can beat him
unconscious if you want.
- Yeah, i'm gonna beat him unconscious.
You guys cool if we take him back
To a warehouse and question him?
- I don't love it, but okay.
- Go ahead and roll your attacks,
And then, he's held, so
they're all with advantage.
- Oh, he's oh, good, because.
Okay, so.
- That's a hit.
- Okay.
- Roll again.
- I'll, okay.
- That's a hit.
- That's a hit.
- That's a hit.
- I'll flurry of blows too.
Okay, they're all hits.
Okay, so i'm—
- Six.
- Okay, so six plus 10, 16.
- He's done, right?
- 16 and 17, so that's 33.
- Jesus.
- And that's all i think.
- Whoa.
- Cool.
- That's all.
- He is messed the f*ck up.
You are just pounding him
With some brutal damage into submission.
Buh-Buh-Buh.
And you see that some people are like,
You see pounding, don't quite get it,
But the ritual's over so the play
Doesn't have to make sense anymore.
Confetti's turn.
At the end of his turn,
He breaks out of the,
He, yeah, he breaks out,
You jump over here.
Sondheim looks over at you and says,
Bear, i don't know who you are,
Let me ride your back,
take me to the stage.
- I mean, yeah!
- He jumps on your back,
And rides you out, he gives
you his movement, basically.
And stephen sondheim riding a bear,
Busts through the curtain,
And you see he goes,
Magnificent!
Magnificent.
The greatest broadway show of all time!
And you see that the,
Both of the glasses lenses
Of the new york times critic
Burst in shock, he goes,
Aah, heavens!
Ricky, that's you.
- I'm just
gonna step to the front
And say, the play's over!
- The play's over, yeah!
The house lights come up,
There's a lot of bodies,
The rest of the cast is
looking out from backstage.
Cool.
- I would like to cast
suggestion on the critic
Just to make sure that he writes us
An extra favorable review,
Which is my, the trick that i always play
At the end of every play.
- Incredible.
- Just for safe keeping!
- Kingston, that's gonna be you.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
- Guys, let's f*ck up,
let's get don confetti
Unconscious, and then we can question him.
- Oh okay.
- Or do an insight check to see
If there's someone we're not even seeing.
- The only enemy left is
don confetti right now.
- Oh, okay.
- Got it.
- Yeah, em's gonna go
heal you, by the way.
So she rushes over to you.
- Great.
I guess i'll, yeah,
I mean, i guess i'll,
I don't—
- 17.
- Yeah, if that's what it's
gonna take to end this,
I'll bring, i'll hit don confetti
With a third level guiding bolt.
- Hell yeah.
- Seven plus eight,
Which is 13, does that hit?
- 15.
- 15 does hit, yes, exactly hits.
- Third level guiding
bolt, that's three, so six.
- Kingston, you raise your hand,
See don confetti, who's been
a thorn in this city side
For so long.
Raise your hand and pew!
He drops to the stage.
That is going to be kugrash.
- All right, where is that, sondheim,
Where's the pixie who attacked you?
- You see he looks up and says,
The devil you're referring to is up there.
The scoundrel in a robe.
- I would like to throw
stephen sondheim at the pixie.
If he's cool with it.
With your permission.
- I want you to do this.
I want you to roll an
athletics check with advantage.
- Okay.
Sondheim, talk me through it, i'm blind!
- You're also blessed,
don't forget you're blessed.
- Okay!
I'm so scared right now!
- You're gonna k*ll stephen sondheim.
- You have to, you have
to throw stephen sondheim
As a blind bear.
- You have to.
- I simply must.
Okay, okay.
Athletics as a bear would be strength.
So wait, where's my bear, okay.
So okay.
We got eight 20.
- You, whoom!
You see he goes, the theater!
Grabs this catwalk, swings up here.
- He's been hurt for eight, right?
- Yeah, i—
- He has been hurt for eight.
- The pixie i hit before.
- Didn't he punch him
in the back of the head?
- He did punch him in
the back of the head.
- Now he's gonna do it again.
- Come on, sondheim!
Finish him off!
- Crit.
- Sondheim crits!
- Sondheim crit.
- You see stephen sondheim
goes up behind the pixie
As he's got the g*n down,
He sees titania and don confetti go down,
And goes, crime never pays, friend.
Whoa, snap!
And steven seagal head snaps this pixie.
- Oh wow.
- And then gingerly
cradles him in his arms,
Walks over here,
Grabs one of the ropes and just slides,
Like zoom, slides down.
Walks on to the stage—
- He's just so at home in the theater.
- He walks out in front of everybody here
Holding this dead pixie,
And you see he goes,
To sleep, perchance to dream.
Who knows what drove this
creature to this life of crime,
Or what drove titania
To fight a clone of herself
at the end of this play.
We ask only this:
Know that the answers
Do not lie here on the stage,
But within all of you.
Good night, and these gentle players
Have performed their act
Courageously, and from a place of truth,
Then you will bear this
light out into the world.
Audience,
- Can i, as i'm taking a bow,
Do an arcana check on stephen sondheim?
- Yes you can.
- Great.
It's a six.
- Six.
What a man.
- What a man.
- Can i do one, what if i—
- Creativity's magic.
- I got a two.
- 17.
- 17, stephen sondheim is
some kind of powerful entity
At the heart of the city.
The audience leaves, you guys
turn to look at each other.
You see that, yeah.
Perry runs out on stage and goes,
What the f*ck was that!
You've ruined, and you
see stephen sondheim
Caresses his cheek and goes,
No, no, perry.
Let's not question the process.
Let's invest in the process.
I want to talk to you about this play.
Puts his shoulder around,
And walks perry off the stage.
- Isn't his name pierre?
Isn't perry the—
- Perry lafev is the—
- They're both called perry?
- Yeah, both of—
- There's two perrys in the story?
- There's two perrys in this.
- Oh my god.
- What are the chances.
- But it is perry in disguise.
- Aah.
- That's what i'm saying.
- That's going, you see
alyssa runs out and says,
Misty, you were amazing.
- What are you doing on stage right now?
- I'm so sorry, i'm so sorry.
It will never happen again.
- Can i do an insight check on alyssa?
- Jesus christ, alyssa.
- If she's full of sh*t?
- Yeah, go for it.
- Yeah, same.
- I got a one.
- I got an 18, is she single?
- She doesn't appear to be—
- I got a three.
- She doesn't appear to be full of sh*t.
She appears to be—
- So she didn't knowingly
orchestrate all this,
Although i got a one.
- Did not know,
You guys are there on stage with misty,
Esther, em, wally, the
rest of them jump down.
- I'm a blind bear.
Can anyone help me?
- I'll walk over and cast—
- Can everything resolve itself,
How did stephen sondheim do?
- As everybody's talking behind me,
I go into the, thank you
so much, twice a year,
We here on broadway collect
for a great organization
Called broadway cares equity fights A*DS.
- Oh my god.
- Kug, were you blind when i did my jumps,
Did you miss both my jumps?
- I was behind the stage i
think when that happened.
- Oh my god, i re-Create it
for him as much as i can.
- You jump around, you re-Created it.
Some of the magic's gone,
But you feel yourself, misty,
You feel vibrantly young.
You need to find somewhere
private to be soon,
Because you're about to,
You're about to leave this body.
You guys see that misty starts glowing.
- So anyway, the members of the chorus
Will be out in the lobby, collecting,
Thank you so much for coming,
have a wonderful evening,
And i run back to my dressing room.
- You run for your dressing room.
You feel the paper husk
of your skin start to,
, coughing.
It's a little bit of an
uncomfortable process.
You rush back to your dressing room.
Alyssa stands in front of the door
To make sure that you have privacy.
The rest of you guys are out on stage
With an unconscious don confetti.
- I turn to esther and i say,
Esther, don confetti's got,
There's a lot of
information inside of him,
And i think we can get it out of him,
Can we bring him to the shantry?
- Whoom!
She wraps him in chains
that are glowing with light,
And she says, i can
take him there right now
If you need me to.
- Yeah, once i wrap it up
here, i'll meet you there.
- We'll keep him on ice,
i'll see you later tonight.
- Okay, thank you.
- I look around for some fawn legs,
Costume fawn legs to put
on over my naked body.
- You've put on some satyr pants.
Incredible.
The rest of you guys, you're injured,
So you're taking care of yourselves.
Misty.
You feel holding this crown,
You could make
A place for yourself here in new york,
If you wanted to.
But you'd have to wear the crown to do it.
- What do you mean, a place for myself?
- Titania has been slain.
You wear her shoes, you hold her crown,
And your ritual was a success,
Even in the face of all this magic.
The seelie and unseelie
courts were founded
A long time ago.
But it's not impossible to
found a court of your own.
But that would mean that
you'd have to wear the crown.
- I mean, who am i to refuse the crown
When it's placed so deftly upon my head.
- Whoom, the light glows brighter
And brighter and brighter.
Miss moore, is everything okay in there?
- Everything's fine,
alyssa, just,
Just keep standing out there, please.
- You begin to change.
And with that, we're
going to end this session
Of the unsleeping city.
Tune in next time, guys!
- Aww.
- What's going on!
- You are, whoom!
Sucked into the room in a swirl of light.
Whum-Whum-Whum-Whum-Whum-Whum-Whum!
You guys are zapped into nod.
- Wait, so is this misty moore,
My favorite broadway
singer and star just die?
- To the outside world, yeah.
- What haven't you told us?
It feels like it could fill a book.
- May i ask a favor of you
In exchange for my service.
- Oh, a fairy asking a favor.
- David's a f*ck' ball buster, i mean.
He should be, i ruined his life.
- You hear a bang-Bang-Bang on the door
As you say that.
- Oh god.
- The city is in danger, lowell,
And i believe you're one of
the few people who can help us.
- I'm waiting for this
moment my whole life.
- What the f*ck!
That's insane!
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03x12 - Broadway Brawl
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.