Hello one and all.
And welcome back to an exciting episode
Of "a crown of candy."
I'm your humble dungeon
master brennan lee mulligan,
With me as always are our intrepid heroes.
Say hi intrepid heroes.
- It's episode two.
- I'm already exhausted.
- Why are you doing this?
- I feel trepid.
- I feel trepid today.
- I feel trepid.
- Today i feel trepid.
The caravan of candia's diplomatic envoy
To the capital city of comida,
Is well on its way down the sucrosi road
To meet their imperial
escorts to go to comida
At the behest of the concordant
emperor, gustavo uvano.
The emperor has grown sick
And has called on his old
friend amethar to come.
Because according to
the laws of the concord,
He must choose an heir
From the head of state of another nation,
In order to keep the peace
Between the six kingdoms of calorum.
On your way ...
You're traveling through
the borderlands of candia.
Peppermint trees,
You see the sucrosi road
and its many bright colors
Stretching ahead of you.
It is a beautiful fruitday on this,
The 23rd day of highbright,
Getting into almost late summer.
As you're traveling, liam
and amethar are talking,
The herald is keeping company
up in the front wagon.
Liam, you're talking about
Keeping alongside the cola river and,
Getting along with the amethar,
Talking about the geography of candia.
Which of the things that a king
should know about his land,
Geography is actually
probably one of the ones
That amethar knows pretty well.
You've fought the length
and breadth of candia.
And as you're talking, liam,
you just get a weird sense.
Preston kinda pokes up and
looks out for a second.
And you just hear a little
And you hear,
Into the walls.
The wagon behind you...
Theobald, you look out
at a bright sunny field.
It's a fruitday, it's not bulbday,
It's not the sabbath.
And you look at a beautiful farm field
With no farmers working.
And you hear word of
the fallen tree up ahead
Blocking the road.
And ruby, you're doing an
incredible acrobatic handstand,
Your feet in the air, and you feel—
- The supportive hand of her sister?
- The supportive hand of her sister.
In the middle of your acrobatics,
You suddenly feel a sharp tug,
And something moves.
And the information comes
backwards into your head.
Immediately you're like,
my head's wet and hot.
And you can't swallow, and you tumble,
Hitting your head and shoulders
As you tumble onto the roof of the wagon,
And something else painful
thuds deep into your ribs.
And it lets you know that
the first thing that hit you,
Is a arrow that has gone
through your throat.
- Yeah.
f*ck.
- You immediately lose consciousness
Collapsing onto the roof
of the second wagon.
And here's your mini,
- How can you do that?
How can you say you're
dead, and here's your mini?
- What the f*ck?
- "here's your mini"?
- Can i dig up—
- Who taught you
- To f*cking bury her?
- Etiquette dude?
- You f*cking piece of sh*t.
- If you are lucky you'll
get to take an action.
- Well, she looks great—
- Wow!
- You are sassy today,
you are sassy today.
- My man is sassy, don't dance.
Don't you shimmy.
- Don't you shimmy.
- It's okay
ruby, i got you ruby.
- How am i supposed to—
- My sister shall not fall—
- As you feel again, just hot, wet,
Soaking into the top of your doublet,
The lights go out in your eyes
And you are in inky blackness,
And you feel yourself letting go of a bar
On two ropes behind you
Reaching out for the
next bar in the trapeze.
And you see it floating
out in the darkness
And you're not sure if
it's coming towards you
Or moving away from you.
And you hear a voice in your head say,
"ruby, bring it towards you."
As you are flying in midair,
And we leap into battle.
We are going to—.
- Anybody think it's weird
That there's no farmers out there?
Oh my god, the princess has been shot.
- We are gonna start at the top of
Initiative order with liam.
Liam, you are in the front wagon.
We're gonna take little top
off of this bad boy here.
You got a little meep out in front, meep.
- Cute.
- Feeling very frightened—
- Don't call them cute, they will k*ll us.
- Yeah.
- Nothing's cute.
- Yeah these,
m*therf*ckers are not cute.
- These are cute.
- These are—
- They are really cute.
- Fine the meeps are cute,
as long as they don't—
- Okay, hold on one second.
I'd like to present to you,
Liam wilhelmina of the house cheddar.
- Oh my god, pretty in pink.
- Look at that peppermint.
- Oh my god, yup—
- What about the piglet?
Show us the piglet, the people—
- Oh and of course, how could i forget,
Peppermint preston—
- Oh my god.
- We also have the herald.
- Yeah!
- Ope you've smashed
your head off right away.
- Oh no!
- I've smashed my head off immediately.
Very sad.
Truly right away.
- Can i get a little bit of gum?
- Wow.
- We're just gonna gum
it right now, real quick,
And then we'll keep your head on there.
I must also present,
Because in the wagon with you
Is the herald poncival pishpuff,
And king amethar rocks.
- Oh, i wanna be mad at you,
But it's very hard to do so.
- Oh my god,
Look at this cloak.
- God damn, look at my sweeping cape,
My beautiful crown, oh!
I'm f*cking ruthless dude.
- Go ahead and
place your mini there.
Liam what is it,
You are in the carriage,
you are first to act.
What do you do?
- All right.
You know what i'm gonna do?
- What's that?
- Okay. So where am i?
I'm with the king.
- You're in this first carriage here,
The door is at the back.
- And where ...
Okay, cool. Okay.
I guess we'll put little
liam in there, right?
- Yeah.
Or if you're gonna move, you know—
- I'm gonna lead...
Preston moves on my turn probably?
- Yes, preston moves on your turn.
- Okay, preston is gonna
take the help action
And just kinda hang in there
And i am going to move...
- There's a little door leading
to the seat at the front.
There have not been drivers
for these carriages,
Because the the meeps were
being hand led by soldiers.
- Wait, are the meeps in danger?
- Everyone's in a lot of danger.
- There's no time to
worry about the meeps.
- I'm gonna, can i lean out the front?
Can i duck and take cover at the front
And sh**t out the front?
- You absolutely can.
If you try to lean out
And not like square up
and occupy a square,
You will take disadvantage on the attack.
But because preston is
giving you advantage,
It'll just cancel out
and be a straight roll.
- Okay.
- And you will have cover,
Which means anyone trying to attack you
Will have disadvantage.
- Okay, great.
Yeah, i'm gonna do that.
So turn that way and i'm gonna aim
For this guy right here.
- Right there? Awesome.
Go ahead and roll your attack,
- Okay, i'm also gonna cast hail of thorns
To add to this attack.
- Ooh, awesome.
- And this is just a bonus action.
So i just...
It's a normal attack?
- This is a normal attack.
- Hey, there we go.
That is a 24.
In addition to the normal effect
Of the attack the target of
the attack and each creature
Within five feet of it
Must make a dexterity saving throw
Creature takes 1d10 piercing
damage on a failed save.
Hold on, i do have to do this actually.
Ooh! Awesome.
So go ahead and roll damage for that one.
Your hail of thorns.
So your bolt splits in mid
air into a little storm
Of candy cane shards.
- Uh huh, sick.
- That actually, reveals
a hidden opponent there,
Who screams out and also
takes one d10 damage.
- What the f*ck?
- Heey!
- There's invisible guys here?
I'm dead, i'll shut up. What the?
- I'm sorry.
- Go ahead and roll your crossbow damage.
- Okay, this is just the
normal crossbow damage,
Which will be 11.
- 11—
- Cause i added plus
six for a favored enemy.
And then this is for each
of them for hail of thorns.
- That is yes. Oh yeah.
A creature takes the target, let me see,
Yep, absolutely go for it.
- So 11 plus two.
Okay, so that's 13.
- 13, or it's a ...
I think they just take
whatever you roll on the d10.
So what did you roll on that d10?
- Oh, just a two.
So the other person will take a two
And the first person will take 13.
- 13, and then, seven we'll just take two.
So you've revealed another enemy and,
You see,
You just like lean out
and you're undercover,
You're lying sideways through
the front carriage door,
And fire out of your crossbow.
Quick thinking from liam.
Then that's going to be
jet, that is your turn.
- Okay. So my hand is on ruby's ankle,
- Correct.
- And i feel ruby's
normally flawless form,
Go on characteristically limp.
So i rip her into the carriage.
- Okay, i'm going to
need an athletics check
For you to be able to do that.
- What about acrobatics?
- This is athletics, but
i'm going to set the dc,
This is your sister,
I'm gonna set the dc at 10.
- Theobald is holding her too, right?
- Oh yeah.
- You did say you were holding her,
But this is a dc 10 athletics check.
- f*ck!
- I failed.
- You lose your grip on your sister.
- What?
Okay, i'm gonna turn to lapin, and say,
"i know that you're working
"with the sugar plum fairy,
"so heal my f*cking
sister or everyone knows."
And then i'm gonna just—
- Listen, what?
- What's going on right now?
- Hold on.
- And then yeah, heal my sister
Or i will tell everyone
about the sugar plum fairy.
And then i guess, can i ...
Do i have enough to
try and jump onto the—
- That athletics was a
free part of your movement.
If you wanna just move up onto the—
- Okay, i'm gonna jump...
I wanna move up and then
cover her body with mine.
- Oh jet.
- Cover her body with mine,
And then use the locket of the sweetest,
Which is a friendship
locket between me and ruby
To give her bonus,
To give her advantage on
her next saving throw.
So i cover her since we're twins,
I'm fully a shield mirroring—
- Oh, f*ck.
- Princess jet of the house of rocks,
Here's your mini.
- Oh, gosh.
- In a world full of color,
Black is really all the colors together.
- Oh, damn. Oh!
- Cool. So i'm gonna get
you a little bit of...
You leap up onto the
roof of this carriage.
You take a little red lollipop heart
That has been broken in half
and it fits perfectly together
With ruby's locket of the sweetest heart.
You hold it, it glows.
And the necklace around ruby's neck glows.
Ruby has advantage on
her next saving throw—
- And i'd also like to
lie on her just precisely
So that my body is exactly her frame
So that i absorb anything
else that comes her way.
- Cool, i will say that
you're using your movement
To get up there and cause
it's difficult terrain,
But you climb up,
You have plenty of movement to do that,
And then you're using your action
To give disadvantage to
anyone trying to attack ruby.
- Okay.
- Cool?
That is jet.
Licorina sees you jump up there,
She runs over here, takes
a dodge action to hide,
Limon,
- Oh, i didn't see limon.
- Rushes here and takes a weapon out,
He's like,
"oh no, oh no they've
come to k*ll me finally."
- Yes, they have k*ll them, limon.
- Five, 10, 15, 20.
Master dippins,
Who i don't think we've met yet,
But master dippins is the royal fool,
Runs to engage this guy.
- Go ahead dippins.
- All right.
- Go off dippins.
- You see dippins who is like,
"alright then, looks like
we've got some bad customers."
And trundles off with
a pack of stuff on him.
Cranberry is gonna rush over
onto the other side of the meep
And try to grab the meep,
that is the servants.
Ruby, at the beginning of your turn,
I need you to make a death saving throw.
You are going to—
- With advantage?
- Hold on one second.
- Oh.
- It's possible for you
to roll two nat ones.
Not likely, but possible,
Which means that your
character would die this turn.
So this is gonna be a box of doom roll.
- b*tch.
- You gonna box-Of-Doom our
girl in the second episode?
- You got two d20 there?
- I got two d20.
- Go ahead and give me your
first death saving throw.
- Jesus!
- Two 13s.
Two lucky 13.
- That is a success.
You have one failure and one success.
- Great job.
- Are these all archers too?
Among these trees back here?
- Yes. You saw, they were
firing crossbows a moment ago.
Ruby, in the inky blackness,
- Mm hmm?
- What do you do as you're
moving towards the trapeze?
- Can i cast mage hand?
- Yes you can.
- To grab the other trapeze
And like bring it towards me?
- Yeah. You reach out with a little bit
Of candy and magic and grab the trapeze,
And you see that the edges of your vision
Begin to turn like indigo and violet.
It's not inky blackness anymore.
And you see a pair of eyes on the horizon.
It's like deep purple eyes
flecked with turquoise.
And you see, they sort of smile at you,
They sort of crease and
wrinkle at the side.
And you hear a voice say,
"you are gifted in the ways of the arcane.
"seems that my brother has made
quite a family for himself."
- Are you my aunt?
- "take good care of my bow,
"you'll have use for it."
And you are now whipping
through onto another swing
And can feel sour scratch
over your shoulder here.
That is going to move along and be,
The tart guard!
Come on you idiots.
This guy's gonna rush over here.
He's gonna take—
- Don't use the tickle blade.
- Real swords gentlemen.
- Real sword.
- Okay, that is gonna be...
You see that quincy in
the back runs up and says,
"k*ll my friends,
"well, you'll not k*ll our good time."
And then skewers him
With the sword.
- Yeah.
- This guy's gonna go rush
back over here to this dude,
Gonna attack with
disadvantage over the wall.
That's gonna be,
Oh, that's actually a hit.
- Come on uincy!
- All right.
And then this tart guard
is gonna turn around
And try to stab this dude,
And misses.
That guy ducks.
You see the tart guard says,
"you shall not destroy the
royal family of candia."
That's the tart guard.
King amethar, that is your turn.
- Okay, great.
Can i start by making a
perception check from the cover,
Can i make a perception check,
Attempt to see any more,
To see how many enemies i can
clock on this b*ttlefield.
- Give me a perception check.
- All right.
Oh missed.
Don't care,
It's 19.
- It's 19?
- 19.
Hey baby, it's battle
sense time all right?
Amethar's game.
- Oh my god. Hold on a second.
Yeah, a bunch more appear.
- Jeez.
- I knew that this was not enough.
- You clock this dude right here.
- Great.
- That's eight.
- Are there all archers
on the field right now?
- Yeah.
- I think these guys are all.
- A guy with a mace over
here that has like a—
- So you spot a bunch of archers
crouching behind the wall
That are poking their
head up as they reload.
And one more combatant out here.
Also with a 19,
You spot this guy right here.
You see him he's speaking in carnish,
But there's something wrong.
Do you speak carnish? Sorry.
- Oh no.
- So you don't understand
what he's saying,
But you see he's basically going like,
And like speaking some—
- Carnish?
- He is speaking carnish.
- Nooooo.
- You hear him.
He's speaking bad carnish.
And as you look at these guys—
- It's a ruse.
I knew that my carnish
heroes wouldn't do this.
- You see weird like turkey skin bulbhead,
They look like they had turkey
or chicken skin like heads.
But they stink and are like rotting,
And you smell like rotting fish and meat.
The arrow through
unconscious ruby's throat
Is made of pure bacon steel.
So it's like charred
meat arrow, in her neck.
But something—
- I don't think these are carnish.
- Cool.
That's everything you know,
But you see this guy shouting orders.
- Great, i pop out of the...
I immediately kick the
f*cking back door open.
Scream,
"watch out for archers.
"somebody clear the road."
I rip my shirt off,
I'm going to charge.
Is this okay if i come out
The back?
- Yeah. Sure.
- One, two, three, four, five.
Can i get all up in that guy's business?
- You can absolutely get all up in—
- That's the guy who is
shouting the orders—
- Yeah.
- One away.
- One away.
But you get to that guy
in one span of movement.
- Great. I rage, which means
That anyone within 10 feet
of me takes two damage.
- Oh that's the other guy.
- And then i'll swing on him.
- Anyone within two
feet of you takes two—
- Or 10 feet, excuse me. Yeah.
- As you do that, you hear two screams
And you unlock the last two.
- Great.
- Last two, thank god.
- Good job.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Very perceptive my lord.
- Hey, it's game time, all right?
- Okay.
So that's two damage to
everyone within 10 feet of you.
Hold on one second.
- I think i'm whimpering,
And whispering everything
that's happening to ruby
As if she can hear it.
"dad, you should see dad.
"he's just, he's such a beast out there."
- Okay. Go ahead and take
your swing at number eight.
- Is that the guy underneath the—
- Yeah.
You see that there's a...
Yeah, go for it.
- Great.
c*ck nat 20?
- Yeah, that's a 20.
We're gonna call that a 20.
- Okay let's kick it off right.
- First attack of the campaign, great.
So that's gonna be four d6.
- Four d6.
Ah, let's go.
Oh, come on.
- Oh my god!
- Five, six, seven.
Seven plus eight, 13.
- But you double this right?
- No, no. You just double the dice.
- Yes, i double the dice.
So yes, five plus seven plus eight,
- Is—
- Fifteen right?
Seven plus eight is 15.
- Seven plus eight is 15, yes.
- Great.
- And then is that counting
rage damage or not?
- That is counting rage damage.
- Oh, and is that
counting your aura damage?
- That's not counting my aura,
Well, my aura damage i already declared.
- Yes.
- That was the two.
- That's the two.
- Then this is just the physical attack.
- So seventeen
- So yeah.
Anyone who was within took 10,
And then that guy takes an extra 15.
- So he just took 25.
- No.
- No no 15, he's taking 17.
- He's taking 17.
- You rush up, you see this guy.
And as you bring payment day low,
Whoa! You take the horn of candia,
Splash yourself with cola and
the pop rocks of your body,
And this aura of flame.
The leaves of the peppermint
trees catch fire as you rage,
You level payment day
go for this guy's head
And he swings out of the way just in time
For you to clip his
jaw, he is knocked down.
However, as you hit him with
that high perception roll,
His jaw goes slack on his head.
You smell a stench of stinking cheese.
- Oh oh oh!
- What?
- f*cking dairy island's
marauding as the—
- What the f*ck?
- And you see,
Leaps to engage with you,
That's your action bonus,
action and movement.
That is king amethar.
That is now going to be their turn.
Okay.
- What did you get?
- A one.
- Ope.
- None of these guys get
advantage from hiding on the king
Who has spotted all of them.
And the ones he didn't
spot, he set on fire.
One, two—
- Now this happens.
This is the cost
- This' what you're made for.
- Of being bad a*s.
- sh*t.
- Okay.
But thankfully they don't
get advantage on him.
- Jesus christ.
- This guy takes a disengage,
- From dippins?
- From dippins to go
over and close with you.
So that's gonna be...
That's five attacks on you.
- He gets to the attack and disengage?
- Yes, he does.
- That mean they're rogues?
- Gotta be right?
- Yeah
- I think for the high,
He beat a 19 perception—
- Dairy rogues.
- So his stealth must've been crazy.
- Yeah.
- In another world, i
might learn from them.
- Not all five can hit no crits.
- No crits
- No crits
- No crits
- No crits
- Bless us great bulb
in the sky, no crits.
- Great bulb in the sky.
- Oh plum fairy.
- No crits.
- All i ask was no crits.
- Please no crits.
- Three hits.
- Three hits?
- Three hits from whatever
these marauder assassins are—
- You're raging though, right?
- I'm raging.
- And then we're gonna get an attack here.
And that is a full miss from the captain.
- Yeah.
- Hold on a second.
And now i'm just gonna roll this.
- Get outta here you dang fly.
- However you see that the captain,
Barks an order in carnish, goes like,
And you see that,
The two that missed instead hit.
You get hit five times.
- Whoah.
- f*ck!
- Hold on one—
- That was one of the things
I asked the bulb not to, you know?
- Yeah. All right bulb.
- Okay.
- Bulb i see you.
- You take,
- With one attack?
- Nine halved to four.
Nine halved to four.
You guys watch your father,
You're up on the roof you
watch your father the king,
Rush out into combat,
Bark orders to the candians.
And immediately you see that
all of these marauders turn,
Surround and begin to grab the cloak.
There is no honor to this combat,
They are trying to m*rder your father.
We're gonna go over here with our archers.
Okay, these two are gonna
take a shot at liam,
Hanging out of the window.
They get disadvantage.
That's still gonna be a hit,
But there's no one
within five feet of you.
So that's just gonna be,
Liam takes seven points of damage,
All attacks miss jet.
This guy's gonna take a shot over here,
Sixteen,
Six and two is eight.
This tart guard right here
gets shot but does not go down.
And then this last one right here
Is going for that tart guard.
He's going to disengage, back up,
Take a shot and miss.
And now we're gonna roll
a bunch of stealth checks.
- Huh. Okay.
- Oh, they can go re invisible?
sh*t.
- Vanishes.
Doesn't vanish just ducks
down behind the wall.
None of them do and,
Dah, dah, dah vanishes.
These guys here, are going to...
No, they have nowhere to hide.
They're in direct milieu with you.
Okay, amethar, at what
health is the king at?
- Ten.
- f*ck.
- Are you—
- Can not survive another round like that.
- Okay, that is now going to be,
Lapin's turn.
- Okay, oh f*ck this.
- Rivalries aside, rivalries aside.
Let's make sure no one dies.
- And in fact, i'm so sorry.
I'll move this over here,
Let's get our last minis out.
- Oooooh!
- I'm so nervous.
- Chancellor lapin cadbury.
- Careful, i was so
nervous about this fight
I dropped mine and it
did break immediately.
- Oh my god.
- And sir theobald gumbar!
- Oh, hot damn.
- Oh, that's so sick.
- And then my
favorite mini, sprinkle.
- Oh, i would die for him.
- A most vicious steed.
- Look alive sprinkle.
- Oh, great.
- Cool.
Theo, you're in there,
Sprinkle's in there as well.
- I accidentally sat on sprinkle,
That's why i was so slow.
- And i am in there.
- You're in the back of this? Yes.
Okay.
- I think lapin is trying
To consult the sugar plum
fairy quietly to himself.
This is chaos.
And then i think he's going to
Poke out the top,
And cast cure wounds on ruby.
- Yes.
- Okay.
You're gonna have to get up
onto the roof to do that.
Cause it's a touch range spell.
- Cool.
Couldn't just like crane it
out with my pole.
- I mean i'm up there,
Maybe my body, he can use
my body like a ladder.
- He's not allowed to touch you like that.
- Use my body like a ladder.
- I don't think—
- You're not spry,
Old fellow.
I'm gonna say, just give me
a dc five athletics check.
But that does mean you
need to roll six or higher.
- Athletics?
- Yes.
- Okay, i have a minus one 1, 11.
- Cool.
- Ah!
- You manage to climb
her up onto the roof,
As you do so, you are able
to cast cure wounds on ruby.
Go ahead and cast it.
- Okay, cure wounds what do i do?
- 2d8 plus charisma modifier.
- 2d8, cool.
Wait, d eight?
- The d eight yeah, you picked it up.
- Oh, great, i know.
- Ha!
- I know.
- We're all so flustered.
- Seven, eight.
- Ooh!
- Oh yeah.
- Fifteen, oh you're up full?
- I look at a lapin and i say—
- Get out of here.
And then i'm going to,
Because i am a warlock
of the celestial patron
Or the sugar plum fairy quietly,
I'm going to also use my bonus action
To cast healing light
and give the king a d6.
- Nice.
- Ooh!
- Thank you.
- So, that is basically all i can do.
- C'mon six, six, six.
- Five.
So you get five.
- That was a powerful round of healing.
- Yeah.
- We are all going to die.
- Yeah, he was, cadbury gets up there,
And everything looks very bulbian
It's all like glowing yellow light.
- Oh, can i make a—
- Make a deception check.
- Deception check to try to make it, okay.
- Yeah make a deception check for me.
- I still got a 14.
- You guys see bulbian light,
But you two right next to
lapin smell sugar plum.
- It is not...
I look, i know that you
think you know something,
But that is, there are a
thousand bigger fish to fry.
- Lapin you just did exactly what i asked,
You have my silence.
Oh thank god.
- What happened?
You're back!
- You wake up prone and
you see that in fact,
There's a little wisp of sugar plum energy
As you feel the bolt break in your throat
And pop out either side.
- Oh, bacon, licorice,
pretty tasty together.
- I know, yeah.
- Before theo goes, you hear a voice say,
"stay inside!"
And lord cruller leaps out
of the back of the wagon,
Says something to the tartguard there,
He...
I'm gonna make a perception check
For him to see what he's able to notice.
As this is happening, he sees amethar.
He looks over at you, draws his saber
And says,
"your majesty!"
And starts booking it after you.
He's gonna go one, two,
three, four, five, six.
- Well he did put on nice pants.
He wore fantastic pants.
- He is going to get to here,
Which is a full 30 feet of movement.
Take a bonus action dash,
Roll up here,
Take a swing.
You see he runs up and the
captain barking orders.
He goes,
"aha!"
And slashes across his back,
Leaping into battle with you.
Dope as hell.
That is going to be theo.
- Theo!
- Sweet...
My god, everyone is in trouble.
Okay.
I am going...
Okay, these archers are a problem
But the king's over here,
My god, this is the worst.
I will...
Okay. So she just popped back up,
You won't get an opportunity to move.
Okay, i'm going to run
in and attack this guy
And join the king.
- Cool.
So you're gonna go five,
- Yup.
- Right here, cool.
Great.
- And then i will use
green flame blade cantrip,
- Cool.
- And then i am also going to use sprinkle
To do a help action and give
me advantage on the attack.
- Cool.
- Nat 20!
- Nat 20!
- Two nat 20s on the first attack.
Crit, crit, crit, crit!
- We need it.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
That's 13 damage.
And then, green fire leaps from the target
To a different creature of my choice
That i can see within five feet.
Second creature takes fire
damage equal to my modifier.
So my modifiers plus
two for spell casting.
- Okay, so you're dealing
two damage to one.
How much damage did you
do to the first one?
- What did i say?
Eight, 13.
- Are you dealing the first damage
To the guy on your right or left?
- Have any of these guys taken damage?
- They've all taken—
- They've all taken two.
- Okay, so i will just do
it on, the one closest to me
And then i'll get the guy next to him too.
It's hard to see—
- Okay, gotcha.
- When you crit does that add extra to it?
- I did roll an extra d8.
- Oh, got it yeah. Cool.
- I just used a long sword to—
- That guy already got hit
with two that you hit, right?
Or was he, did he get hit by the splash,
His aura?
- Oh yeah, the 10.
- Yeah, everyone—
- I think it's two.
- Pretty much everyone here has,
A lot of people here have
been hit by the king's aura.
- And then actually why not?
I think i'm gonna see if
there's a bonus action i can do,
But i think oh,
And then here's what i'm gonna do,
I'm going to range 30 feet.
Who's the toughest looking m*therf*cker?
- You see the lord cruller
just came out and slashed a guy
That looks like he's barking
orders at these guys.
- Sweet.
I'm going to cast as a bonus,
Oh wait, this is does this...
So this is from my sword,
I have a ability that lets me cast
Compelled duel bonus action?
- It is a bonus action.
- Does that count as a spell
Or can i do it?
Cause i've already cast,
Oh wait, no i did.
- You cast a cantrip.
- I'm gonna do compel duel on that guy,
- Hell yeah.
- Try to get him to look at me,
And then i'm gonna do action surge,
And i'm gonna keep
whaling on the same guy.
- Sir theobald.
- Out the gate.
- Surge theobald.
- Okay we'll deal with compelled,
If you're taking the same attack,
Go ahead and give me the attack first.
- Okay.
- So this is just a,
this is not green flame
This is just a regular, or no—
- I might as well yeah, i'll do it again.
- Go for it, do it again.
- Basically get another turn.
Does sprinkle get to help
me again or sprinkled—
- No, this is a straight attack.
- Alright.
- You hit.
- That's my f*cking knight, right there.
That's my knight.
- 11 damage.
- To, are you doing to the guy—
- Same guy i hit.
And then two again to the guy next to him.
- To the guy next to him, gotcha.
You rush over,
Hold on one second here,
And then i'm gonna roll a saving throw
For the marauder captain here.
- Right on.
Gotta beat a 12.
- He does have to beat a 12
What ability is that?
- It's a wisdom saving throw.
- It's a natural one.
- Duel me, one v one me.
Have you no honor?
- You guys actually see i'm
gonna take a second to talk
About this because lapin hoist
himself up onto the roof.
Raises ruby,
The sugar plum magic breaks the arrow,
So these are like your two guardians,
The advisors to the king.
Rush up, throw healing energy at the king,
As sir theobald explodes from the wagon.
This little sprinkle chasing
behind like a loyal hound.
You take swirl ward,
The sucker shield in your left arm,
Battle pop the broad sickle in your right,
It glows with freezing orange energy.
As you leap forward,
You rush up and in a flurry
of strokes with your sword,
You behead this cheese brigand here,
This freezing orange light,
Singes the eyes of the
ones standing next to you.
And as you level your sword at the captain
And say to him,
"have you no honor?"
He looks at you and you see his eyes
Go goofy orange and purple swirlies,
And you see he goes,
"i do have honor."
And levels his weapon at you.
Compelled duel is in effect.
- Yes.
- Awesome.
- Are these guys cool?
Have these guy been cool this whole time?
- I like them.
- I gotta be honest like—
- Theobald, how much damage did you do?
- I think i did,
I did like 13 or something
on the first attack
And like, or 15 on the first attack
And 11 or 12 on the second thing.
- Okay, thanks.
- Sick.
- Okay, awesome.
Liam, that's gonna be your turn.
- Okay.
I would like to pick up
peppermint preston, kiss him.
We have a drill where he gets
In a really small ball and i hide him.
He gives me the help action
And i'm going to pop out.
And first, can i track my enemy?
I feel like i'm really good at that.
Can i see where the second guy is?
- You can give me a perception check
Like amethar did it for free.
- Would it be advantage?
- It would be advantage cause
These are your favored enemy.
- 18 yeah.
- Oh, you spot everybody.
- Yeah okay, cool.
So where are they?
- Hold on a second,
Seven and nine.
Yeah, seven is right here.
- Cool.
- And then nine is back down over here.
- Okay, cool.
So i'm gonna pop out
And i'm gonna cast hail of thorns again
And have my crossbow and try to hit,
The same one that i hit before.
- Hell yeah, so that's
gonna be number one,
All the way down there, dope.
Oh, go for it.
Go ahead and roll attack.
This one has advantage
Because preston is giving
you the help action.
- Okay, cool.
Okay, it's 23.
- Oh, awesome.
You definitely hit.
Go ahead and roll damage for
the crossbow, just first.
- Okay. Just the flat d10.
So that's, 11.
- Okay.
- You hit that twice right?
- Huh?
- You hit that guy
twice already, alright?
- Yeah. This is my second time.
- And now they roll for hail of thorns,
It's a dex save i believe, right?
- Yeah, dex save.
- They both fail.
- Hell yeah.
- Hell yeah, liam.
- So this is, should
I roll the same d10 for both of them?
- Same d10 for both of them,
That's right.
- Oh, five.
- You guys see liam,
This like scrawny little woods kid pop up,
You like come sideways out,
You're holding your crossbow level
To the ground for accuracy,
But it's sideways to you
cause you're sideways
And you nail this guy through the head,
Tearing his mask off.
Stinking runny cheese oozes
out of the hole you left
With your mint arrow dead.
And, five damage to the guy next—
- And then i still have
my movement, right?
- That's correct.
- Okay, i am going to,
Would i take an attack of opportunity
If i ran from there into
the tree that's down?
- No one's taking a range
attack opportunity on you.
So you—
- Okay, yeah, i'm gonna sprint
and duck and be behind that.
- Cool, so you used 10 to sort of duck out
And duck back and then it's five—
- Oh, can i go out the front?
- Oh, yeah.
So you can go that's 10, 15, 20, 2530
Is your movement there.
- Do you wanna be here?
- Can you get closer to the king?
- Yeah, i wanted to hide closer to the—
- Oh closer to the king?
So we can go—
- No, not closer to the king,
I'm trying to get behind that,
On the other side of that fallen tree.
- Oh, gotcha.
- Could i make that?
- Yeah, actually you know what?
Give me just an acrobatics check.
- Sure.
- Tuck and roll.
- Acrobatics, oh yeah plus four,
Oh yeah 23.
- Oh, baby. Yeah.
You got full cover behind here
As you leap behind this fallen tree.
- Awesome.
- Dope.
That's now going to be, that's liam,
Jet, that's you.
- Okay.
I want to join the fray here.
Can i go after this guy?
Is that, am i close enough?
- Yeah, give me an acrobatics check.
- 16.
- Hell yeah.
So you're gonna go, hold on.
- So i'd like to jump up and attack this.
- Yes, you're gonna go—
- I can attack this guy cause—
- Five, 10, 15, 20 yeah,
You can—
- Actually i wanna go for this guy.
- If you land right in
this spot over here.
Let's get you right through here.
You see your sister standing up,
- I say ruby,
"you got this."
- You do a full like swan
somersault twirl in the air,
Bam! Land next to sir theobald,
Go ahead and-
- Hey, theobald?
I'm gonna use this superiority die,
Cause i'm martial adapt
And do a feinting attack on this guy.
So i go, and then i get a
advantage on attacking him.
- Hell yeah, go for it.
- Whoa, sick feint.
- Does a 23 hit?
- A 23 sure does hit.
- Yes b*tch, and i have the sneak attack
Cause he's within five feet.
- You sure do.
- Okay.
- 17 points of damage.
- Oh, god,
That's crazy.
- I'm about to admonish her
Until i see her just skewer the dude.
- Yeah.
- f*ck him up.
- Yeah, you see this blade,
This is your first time
injuring a living person.
You feel the feeling of this sword.
Follow your willpower,
You see where you want it to go,
With a flick of your
wrist and a steady stance,
You bury this sword through the back
And out the front of
this brigand attempting
To k*ll your father.
- Is it a k*lling blow?
- It is not a k*lling blow.
- Theobald i told you,
You need me to teach me a k*lling blow.
- I'm sorry, that was really good.
- How is jet feeling in this moment
The first time that she
had ever attacked a—
- She feels alive.
She takes a little bit
of the blood and goes,
- Okay, good job.
- That's my girl.
- Everyone relax.
- Pops! Pops—
- Yeah, i know.
- I can do this all the time.
- Yes for candia everyone,
Defending ourselves.
- Murdering for candia.
- For candia, ruby.
- Okay, you see limon rushes over here,
"sire, what should i do?"
- Attack someone.
- "which who, which one?"
- All right, why don't you
just pull your shield out,
Stand by the cart and
wait for ruby to jump down
And just kind of help her out.
- "you got it sir."
Rushes back to the cart.
Master dippins crawls up into
this tree and disappears.
- There's a dude right here.
Could he attack the guy that was,
I mean, just—
- Theoretically. Yes.
- Okay. Yeah.
- Cranberry is just
sprinting into the woods.
- Master dippins is, who is that?
- He's the fool.
- He's the fool.
- Oh yeah that's why it sounded familiar.
- And, he's just running,
Cranberry tallcake is running away.
"i've had enough of this."
That's going to be princess ruby.
- Great.
So i would like to, yell to limon.
"hey stand real strong"
And i'm gonna jump on to
stand on his shoulders.
So that i have—
- Stand real strong.
- That's right you foes,
You're getting a free
show, you don't even know.
- So i have height and
advantage on sh**ting,
- Okay.
- And then i would like to,
So this guy that seems like the boss guy
That's giving everybody orders,
I would like to sh**t my once
a day grasping arrow at him.
- Ooh, awesome.
Okay.
Hold on.
- You're actually doing this?
- Oh my god. I'm so graceful.
- What a wild world we live in-
- Woah!
Incredible.
You land, you have for balance,
You have one toe on his head
And the other tucked up
So you're like your knee up to your waist.
And you see limon stands steady and says,
"well, i knew it wasn't gonna be too long
"before i got kicked in the head."
And you see...
Cool. Go ahead and make your attack.
- And that's with advantage, right?
Because i have—
- Yeah, you have height advantage.
- Oh, it rolled so many times.
- You might still though.
- 14?
- 14 does not.
- f*ck!
- You look great though,
So much more going on.
- I'm still shaken from my—
- From your death?
- From my death.
All right and then,
So i'd like to take
the rest of my movement
And stand on this side of the cart.
So all of these archers can't hit me.
- Ooh, okay great.
- Cause these guys are
focused on this stuff.
- Yes, yes, yes.
You jump away from limon,
Over to this side of the cart and he goes,
"i'm happy to be of service,
you make he honest."
- You stood very strong, thank you.
- "okay."
You see that—
- Wobbled a bit.
That's fine.
- Okay, that is ruby.
That is now going to be
the rest of the tartguard.
- All right tartguard.
- All right everybody.
- This guy runs over here.
- Theobald do you train with them?
- You know, they're kind of new recruits.
I try to train them.
They really like tickling each other.
We try to not tickle—
- They might just get us all k*lled.
- Will try to not tickle.
- Ooh.
- Did you teach them the k*lling blow?
- I did but they just use it
To get into really good tickle spots.
- Whoa! Okay.
- Tartguard gonna f*ck
somebody up right now?
- They might and then—
- Ooh!
Come through tartguard, come through.
- Okay, yeah.
You see this guy rushes over here
And skewers this bandit and says,
" havarti! A sweet ending
for you my friend, po ta!"
- He k*ll it?
- No, he does not k*ll
him, just deal some damage.
Which for the tartguard is great.
That's huge for them.
Okay. That is the tartguard
And that is now going to be, king amethar.
- Okay, so check in.
The captain is compelled to duel
And then there are three
remaining who have eyes on me?
- There is one, two,
three, four remaining—
- Where's the fourth?
- Tucked in under here.
You've got three right
over here, four here.
- Four, four, four, four.
- And you also have the cake that—
- We have one that me and
a jet have messed up—
- Have messed up real good.
- You do a ton of damage, you might—
- Yeah.
- Yeah, it might be wasted.
- Might just wanna hit a fresh dude.
- I'm gonna...
There's one you've done
a ton of damage to,
- The one that i,
- That you like skewered through?
I'm gonna try and hit him
And see if i can k*ll him.
- Daddy-Daughter bonding.
- Does your aura go on every turn?
- It's a bonus action.
So i can choose if i hit and k*ll
I'm gonna use my bonus action
for great weapon master.
Yeah, just a little strap for it.
Great. So i'll roll to attack.
Whoever jet, has put in work on,
See if we can't daddy-Daughter, this guy.
- Yes.
- That's gonna be, 25.
- 25 is a hit.
- And he did damage to me
Cause all of them hit right?
- Yeah, all of them hit.
- So 3 d6,
Oh, come on guy,
There it is.
- It's the same roll.
- Seven, nine plus eight, 17.
- You turn around, you
plunge the rapier in
And literally feel your
arm holding this guy still.
And as he cannot move with
your sword through him,
You watch the entire top of his cheesy
Disguised head come off
As you full back bend to watch payday
Swoop right past you
as your father cleaves
This guy's f*cking head off.
- I pop up and i say that's
a daddy-Daughter special.
- That's a daddy-Daughter special.
- That was a daddy-Daughter special.
- And then i'll use great
weapon master to swing on.
Have any of the other one's been injured?
- Well, all of them have been part...
I'm trying to think if any of them are.
- I don't think but they both,
I'll swing for the one
under the tree that i—
- Oh yeah, calroy f*cked
up the guy behind you.
- Then i'll save him,
I'll go for, let me go for 12.
- Go for it.
- I'll swing for 12.
No, let me swing for four.
- Okay.
- I'll go for four.
Boom. Let's go 19.
- 19 is gonna hit.
- Great, and that's three d6 again,
- That is three d6 again.
- Let's go, oh come on guys.
Six plus eight, 14.
- 14 damage.
That guy actually ran to join you,
So he didn't get your
aura the first round,
So you turn around and
He has like a little like,
What does he have a little poleax there?
You hit the half of his
poleax split the weapon
And body him and feel a bone crack
As you just knock him into the tree.
- This cheese has bones.
- Oh, disgusting.
- There's bones in the cheese.
- Eating cheese off of
a bone at a barbecue.
- I'm just picturing like,
A bite of brie and in the
middle, just like a wishbone.
- Oh, crunchy.
- Okay, that is amethar.
- Yeah.
- Ooh!
- Okay.
- Rules.
- Hey dude, it's my family.
- It's a family affair.
- I think lapin has like,
Watched this guy be such
an idiot for so long
That he's like a little finally—
- Finally some pride.
- Oh, okay. I see.
I see what he's about.
- Incredible.
- I forgot they can move.
I thought they would
just stay there, sh*t.
- 10, 15.
- You b*tch.
- Limon better get an
opportunity to attack.
- Oh yeah i'll give limon a
little opportunity to attack.
- Come on limon.
- Limon misses.
- Damn it limon.
- "oh no i failed."
These guys are here going
to both take a disengage.
You hear this guy barking
at the crossbow man,
As he goes to fight theobald
But he's basically, you hear him go like,
Speak something in carnish
You hear it's broken, bad carnish
It's k*ll the king.
- Dad, they're coming after you.
Their objective is to k*ll the king.
- This guy's here.
- There's dairyman
marauding us noble carnish.
- Three, four, five, okay.
- To k*ll the king you—
- So we're gonna settle this.
You've got three melee
combatants on you still.
- So they're gonna get sneak
attack on their turn, right?
- This is their turn.
- So these are the archers?
- Yes. Hold on real quick.
So these are no,
This is the melee we're gonna cover first.
Okay.
Two hits from melee.
That's gonna be 11 halved to five.
Yeah, that's 11 halved to five,
And then 11 halved to five again.
So 10 points of damage just from melee.
- Great five hp.
- I'm going to roll,
Some stealth checks real quick
Actually, you know what?
No, cause they all disengages
or dashes to get within range.
So let's go one, two, three,
Do one advantage.
That's a miss even with advantage.
Do three attacks from these guys.
Oh, that's going to be two hits from them.
- He's got five nowl?
- I have five.
- Yeah, it's gonna be two hits from them.
And then this guy is
attacking with advantage.
It's a miss.
- Wow.
- So two hits each of these.
- Thank you bulb.
- Go down though.
- 12 plus two is 14, halved to seven.
- I will use my bonus action shield thing
To take the damage for my king.
- You literally f*cking
secret service leap
And take the arrow in the f*cking chest.
You take the full 14 minus
three for heavier armor master.
- Theobald, take me on as an apprentice.
- So you and sir theobald are
fighting back to back here,
As you leap into the fray,
The next one is still gonna come.
So that's your reaction.
The next one is coming for the king still,
Nine, 11, 13 halved to six.
- Jesus, man.
- King goes down?
- King goes down.
- King is—
- So close to—
- You see all of these
people with melee weapons,
Raising their swords to
coup-De-Grace the king,
To k*ll him on the ground.
And then our captain
is going to, disengage
And he's gonna come straight for murph.
Yeah, you feel your heavy armor
Your shield whips up to catch the weapon.
This spiked mace of this
brigand leader, bang, bang,
And that high a*s armor
class comes in very handy.
As you miss both those attacks,
That is them and then
that's going to be a lapin.
- Can i get to him the king in this turn?
Can i jump down on limon?
And then—
- I'm right below you so i could—
- Can i go...
Whatever the clearest line is to the king,
I'm going.
- Give me an acrobatics check.
- How's your dex?
- It's better than my strength.
So...
- Gotta beat a 10.
- I did not.
- f*ck.
- All right, i got a seven.
Can i just take damage?
- Yes. That's what's gonna happen.
- Okay.
- You take six points of falling damage.
You're an old man leaping off of a wagon.
- Ow!
- You're an old man
leaping off of a wagon.
That is what you are.
- I hate his—
- That's the episode title.
- Old man leaping off a wagon.
- I hate this.
Cool, but you leap down,
You have 15 feet of movement left.
- Can i get to him?
- You can.
You can get all the way here to the king.
- Okay, and i'm going to use
A second level cure wounds on the king.
- That is your second and last spell.
- My last spell.
So that's it, except for,
I have some other stuff for healing,
But mostly that's it.
- Lapin, your secret is so safe with me.
- Five plus my charisma modifier.
- Yes.
- So you're healed for 14.
- You come back out,
But you are out of rage
for going unconscious.
- Great.
- So the king is felled by an arrow.
You don't even get all
the way to the ground.
You get to one knee and lapin,
Sails through the air,
Puts this chocolatey hand on you
And you are filled with
A scent of sugar plum in your nostrils.
- And should i heal him more?
- I mean—
- f*ck, it would be very—
- I can rage again on my turn—
- On his turn but they're not,
Okay, so you're gonna go before they go?
- Yeah.
- But yeah, if he goes yeah i just
He absorbs all the damage.
- I go before they go.
- I would give him one of your d6s.
- How many do you get a day?
- I'll do this and then i
have two more heals total.
- So that'll be, that's like,
So if three people go down,
One of those people is gonna die maybe.
- Unless i can i have spare the dying.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Can you use another spell?
- No.
- It's a cantrip.
I don't think it's a bad idea.
- Do you have something else to give?
- Wait what's the order again?
So you're gonna go—
- It's gonna go, after this comes.
I think we get back to liam,
It's like liam and then daughters
and then the sweet tarts
And then me and then them.
- Okay.
So i'm just gonna let,
i'm just gonna save it.
- Yeah i'm with that.
- And yeah, that's the end of my turn
- That is the end of lapin's turn.
- Good strat, good strat
dude, play smart, play smart.
- I don't know if it was smart.
- I mean we've got, i've got cruller,
I've got these sweet tartguards.
- You see that,
Hold on one second.
I'm gonna roll here.
Nat 20 from your boy calroy—
- He's got his best pants on.
- Oh, you see that he...
What that's gonna be 6d6 from him?
- What?
- Jesus christ.
- Whadup?
- It's a nat 20 and he's
within five feet of an ally.
- Hell yeah.
- He's a little swashbuckley fencer.
- He's a swashbuckler?
- Hell yeah.
You see, he looks at you and says,
"nothing but the finest for my majesty."
- Pants make the man.
- Just see, he looks at you and says,
"getting a little tired in your old age
You need to take a breather?"
- Oh, you shut the f*ck up right now.
And you see he goes up
through the back of the skull,
Bam hits this guy and
knocks his helmet off
And catches the helmet in his other hand
And goes,
"souvenir for our trouble"
- I'll be your apprentice as well.
- See he says,
"hour highness it would
be an honor" and bows.
- The honor is mine.
- He says,
"remember if we win without class,
"we haven't really won it all."
- Oh, i'll write that down.
- That's gonna be theo.
- Sweet.
Do you all roll with advantage
On your attacks for any reason?
- No i have to use a
superiority die to do that.
- If we're talking somebody
who's next to somebody
Though we get—
- Okay.
I'm gonna need a concentration check
For the damage you took
for compelled duel.
- Right.
Nat one.
- Compelled duel is gone.
- Great.
My bad—
- You did everything it needed to.
- I'm gonna go ahead
And i'm gonna hand sprinkle off to jet
To give a help action to her.
On her turn, she does more damage than me.
- Sprinkle help the princess,
And then i'm going to attack.
Is anybody taking damage near me?
- I mean, pretty much everybody.
You see this is you as
It's like there's like
white and pink blood
Spilling all over the grass
here, it's a bloodbath.
- I'll just do, you know what?
I'm gonna do booming blade this time.
So they'll take d8 of thunder damage
If i hit them on top
of whatever else i do.
- Oh, they only take it if they move.
They don't take an automatically,
- Oh, never mind, okay
I'll do green flame blade in that case.
- Cool.
- All right. 20.
- That's going to hit.
- Okay.
f*ck.
Seven damage.
- Cool. This is just a
dude right in front of you?
- Yeah, and then two
to the one next to him.
- Hell yeah.
- And then i'm gonna use a bonus action
And second wind.
- Oh, good.
- Just to try to keep
myself up a little bit.
- You feeling that like—
- Not great.
I go back up for five.
- Okay.
So you're still injured.
You've got the bolt sticking in,
You can feel the plates of your armor
Your gummy armor still
clicking on this bacon bolt.
You guys are up in the mix now.
Theo and amethar, you guys fought plenty
In the ravening w*r.
These guys are decked out
With all kinds of carnish weaponry.
These are carnish crossbows, carnish axes
And clubs and stuff,
But you smell the stink of
like, these are dairy men.
These are like dairy soldiers.
Something is amiss.
Cool. That is going to be,
That's theo, you do your
bonus action, great.
Liam, that's you.
- Okay.
What's the deal with
this guy who's running?
Can i use my nature to figure out what—
- Nature, well you could use insight.
- Oh yeah.
- Cool.
- Insight?
- He's a terrified servant
Who's seen a m*ssacre and he's running
Cause he thinks he's gonna get k*lled.
- Okay.
Yeah, i will between these
three archers up here,
Who's hurt the most?
- Of the ones you can see.
- Oh yeah, you hit number seven.
- All those archers that you see there,
Have been uninjured.
- Oh, wow.
- I think it's—
- He can probably sh**t the people—
- Yeah, i'll sh**t a one of them.
- Okay.
I'll have preston give me advantage.
- Cool, dope.
- Okay. That's a 19
- 19 is gonna hit.
Let's put preston over there with you,
Your little piggy is helping you.
- I'm gonna let's see if preston helps me,
Maybe i'll put him in my little backpack.
- He like pokes his little
head out his backpack
And basically you see, he goes,
And gives you the wind readings.
So you hit with that roll.
Go ahead and roll damage.
- Okay.
See that's nine.
- Awesome.
And i think you're out of spells, right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
So you fire off.
Hit that one in the back,
Whips around.
Go ahead and give me a
stealth check real quick.
- Sure.
- See if this guy spots you.
- Eight.
- Eight, okay.
He spots you hidden over there.
- Okay, i still have
movement though, right?
- Yeah, you do.
- Maybe i'll move to the
other side of the tree.
- Oh, just like behind all the foliage?
Cool. Yeah.
- So he sees me in the night.
- Yeah and preston follows you.
- Cool.
- Cool, you go there and hide,
That is liam, jet that's you.
Sprinkle gives you the help action.
- I want to,
This is the man who's been
barking the orders, right?
Who's right in front of me?
- Correct.
Yeah, the guy is trying to k*ll theo.
- Okay.
I want to look at him
and as i look at him,
Roguish shadow flickers around me
And i say when the king goes
down, the princess rises.
- Don't you get advantage
cause it's sprinkle?
- Yeah, i rolled with advantage 19?
- 19 hits.
- Yeah. All right.
I'm also gonna do,
What does he have in his hand?
- A spike wooden, it's like
a meat wood morning star.
- I'm gonna do disarming attack.
- Ooh.
- So he's going to have to make,
I'm gonna add a superiority die,
And then he's gonna have to make
A dc 14 strength saving
throw or he drops his weapon.
- Okay.
- So i hit him for 18.
- Heey, wow!
- Jesus.
- And i try to get that.
- Okay.
Hold on one second.
He's got to roll a, he gets
plus two to this role dc 14.
So he needs a 12 or higher.
He rolls a 13.
So he hangs onto it.
- 13? But he has to roll 14
- He rolled a 13 plus two.
- Oh, i see.
- So he, you a flickerish the
twizzling blade moves out,
You see he said he goes,
- I'm sorry, come again.
- Ah, have you tangled
with this partner before?
- And you see that, he whips around
To go after your pop again.
- What?
- But you slashed d
You felt the tug of ripping
tendons in his left arm.
- If he turns around away from me,
Do i get an opportunity attack?
- You do only if he moves away from you.
- Okay.
- Cool that is, that's jet.
That is going to be,
- Come help me!
- Yeah, actually limon is gonna come over
And give you the help action
And that's going to be,
Ruby that's you.
"your highness, if there's
anything i can do to help,
"you're awful good at archery and such."
- I think you could be very
helpful just staying still
And not doing anything.
Can i...
These archers are pretty bad, huh.
Can i sh**t at the one that, liam shot at?
- Yeah, absolutely.
- Great.
- By the way, just so you know,
You don't have to apply your grasping shot
Until after you know you've hit.
- Oh, okay.
So i can, great.
That's really good to know
Because that was a sad waste of a thing.
Oh, in which case then i'm gonna try
And sh**t the guy in front of,
- In front of jet? Absolutely go for it.
- And that is a 19.
That is for sure a hit.
So like 19 plus six so—
- Incredible.
You definitely hit.
- So i will use my grasping arrow.
So that is two d6 plus four from this.
So that's eight damage regular
And then—
- Two d6 poison.
- Two d6 damage poison.
Which is four poison damage.
- So you deal 12 points of damage.
- So it's speed is reduced by 10 feet
And it takes another
two d6 slashing damage,
The first time on each turn
it moves one foot or more
Without teleporting.
- Oooh!
- Oh!
So you guys see you still
have this weird foggy memory
Of what you saw when you were unconscious.
You reach up the bow, put
your finger to the string
Arrow appears and you
call for a special arrow
And you didn't even know you could do this
Before this fight.
And you see that it bonds of syrupy sugar
Wrap around this acid green arrow
And the arrow shoots out
Hits this brigand captain in the back
And strands of poison
sugar web him to the ground
And like stinging burning brambles.
- Yeah, you stay there.
- Ruby, it seems that you are destined for
More than just the circus.
- I don't know i feel like
That would be a pretty cool circus move.
- You're right i stand
down you are correct.
Ruby rules.
- Incredible.
- Jet rules.
- That's your action, great.
It's going to be the tartguard.
This guy's gonna move over here.
- They're so cute.
- I hate them.
- A little cowboy hat,
they're really funny.
- This guy has stabbed
this dude a bunch of times.
He just keeps stabbing him,
He hasn't gone down yet.
Over here,
Oh sh*t. It's a nat 20,
The tartguard runs over there,
f*ck that guy up,
And then are there any other tartguard?
Oh yes, this guy right here.
This guy's toast.
So this guy is going to run over here,
Jump in the mix and take
a swing at this captain.
- Well, if the tartguard kills this dude,
That would be wild.
- That's a natural one.
Tartguard does not—
- Could've got a promotion.
- Does not get the job done.
But the tartguard is like,
"your fallen brothers
shall be avenged ahead."
Cool.
That, is king amethar.
- Okay.
Oh man, this is a cluster f*ck.
God there's so many people.
So this is an archer as well?
- Yes, that's correct.
- Okay. Oh.
- How close, how does that captain look?
- He looks messed up,
The princess have just f*cked him up.
- Yeah.
- Okay. I think i'm gonna...
There's so much.
Everyone's just gonna sh**t
me no matter where i go.
I'm just gonna get shot.
Can i move around him without
inciting opportunity attacks,
Can i move around to here?
- You gotta show me
the path you're taking,
Otherwise it'll trigger attacks.
- So where was i?
- You are here,
There's no one directly engaging
you right where you are.
- I'm trying to go one,
two up against the tree,
Three, four, five.
- Okay, you can get to five,
You will take a swing from one of them
But not the other on the way there.
- If i stay here is that—
- No, you'll still get the swing
Cause you're actually getting it
From that guy as you move
past this threatened area.
- Cause i'd wanna rage,
but if i do it there,
I just hurt everyone.
- I can take two damage.
- All my friends.
- I think they can take two.
- Pops i can take two damage.
- Better than you.
- Please, i'd rather my
first damage in battle
Be for my father.
- Great, then i'll do,
Then i'll stay where i was and rage there
And everyone including
friends takes two damage.
- And what spot are you moving to?
- I'll move just one to engage with him.
- Okay.
Everybody's taken damage so yeah.
Theobald, jet—
- Do i?
- Sprinkle avoids it thankfully.
And lapin you take it as well.
- Okay.
- Sorry everybody.
- It is an honor my king.
- And then we have,
If this is 12 and this dude is four.
Gotcha.
- All right.
- Okay.
- Were either one of these
guys, the ones who hit me?
I got hit by two people on the—
- You got hit by arrows.
So nobody that hit with an arrow is—
- But none of the melee people hit me.
- No, that's correct.
Or wait, is that true?
I'm trying to remember.
Did the melee people hit you?
- I erased it.
I got hit by two arrows and
then that's what i remember.
- You got hit by some
melee people i thought,
Cause i remember waiting—
- Cause you took,
It was 11 minus five.
- I did took two hits from melee people.
- Yeah.
- If you took two hits,
I'm gonna say that the one
in front of you was a melee.
- Great then i'll swing on him.
That's gonna be 10.
- 10 is gonna miss.
- All right.
- You take a swing with payment day,
Miss, but you are raging.
That's going to go from amethar
Back to the brigands
Hold on one second.
Yeah.
So this guy is going to move here,
Doesn't get an attack opportunity
From anyone except sprinkle.
And then—
- Sprinkle.
- Can sprinkle attack?
- Sprinkle can not attack.
- There's five archers—
- Can the all see him?
- And then the captain.
So the first thing we're
gonna do is we'll go captain,
It's gonna roll on amethar.
- Is he moving?
Let's say one foot of movement
is not very much movement.
If he's moving this much.
- Oh, wait a minute,
He has grasping arrow.
Yes, that's correct.
Wait, how much is—
- It's one foot of movement
And he gets two d6 of damage.
- Oh my god.
Yeah, why would he know how
this f*cking spell works?
- Yeah.
- Hold on one second.
- That's my girl.
- Okay, i'm going to tell you right now,
It is very possible to roll
a lethal amount of damage
With two d6.
We're gonna get out the box of doom.
- And this is for the boss?
- Ruby, i know you've got
a k*lling blow in you,
Even though theobald...
Even though theobald won't teach it to us.
- Wow! This is crazy.
- Real quick,
I've written down the number right here
In this folded thing,
Of how much you need.
Go ahead and hold on to this siobhan,
Real quick.
- Oh my god,
I love gambling.
- Let's go ahead and
get the box of doom out.
This is a definate box of doom roll
Cause your dad is in very serious trouble
If this guy gets to swing on him.
- Nine.
- Open it up.
How much is it?
- Seven!
- f*ck yeah!
- Give me my dice.
- You see that this guy sees an opening
As amethar swings misses overextends.
He opens up the spot right
under his arm where it's soft.
You can go in through the ribs,
He steps forward and
as he does the arrows,
Sugar constricts and snaps back
and he is literally waffled
And split into cubes and chunks
And falls scattered over the ground
In a heap of stinking cheese.
- Thank you for the
saint's day present pops.
- All right, thank you.
Hah! I love my daughters.
- Ruby, will you teach me a k*lling blow
Because that was amazing.
- I think that we can learn it together.
- Okay.
- This captain gave one
plus one d4 on all attacks
For all of his followers.
So you have just really f*cking done it.
Ah, that is huge.
We're gonna roll this now though here.
- The two melee guys, are
they going after amethar?
- They're going after amethar.
- I'm gonna use protection to impose
Disadvantage on one of them.
- Hell yeah, great.
Oh, does protection give...
Does it give disadvantage to
just one opponent or is it—
- Let me see,
When a creature you can see attacks
A target other than you that
is within five feet of you,
You can use your reaction to impose
A disadvantage on the attack role.
- Okay.
- So just do it for one person.
- The first one gets disadvantage.
That's a 19 and a two.
Hell yeah.
- sh*t yes.
- God i love my family.
- Next one's going to
take a regular swing,
That is gonna hit.
- All right, nine.
Great.
- You're at five?
I'm at five.
- Now i'm gonna roll some stealth
checks from these archers,
- Even though there're
tartguards looking right at them?
- They're not trying to
hide from the tartguards.
- All right, fine.
What's the point of these tartguards?
- None of them hide from amethar.
- Yeah.
- None of those ones
This one over here is gonna do it.
That one doesn't make it jesus
these are some bad rolls.
That one does get advantage.
So we're gonna roll these attack rolls,
Attacking king amethar.
That's a miss, hit.
That's a hit.
And then we're gonna go one last one here.
That's a hit.
So that's three hits on king amethar.
- Used my reaction,
I can't do anything.
- 12 plus two is 14 halved to seven.
- I'm down.
- You are down and the final two arrows
Give you two death saving throw failures—
- What?
- f*ck.
- Okay.
- Wait, were you...
Didn't you have 10 left?
And that was seven.
- I had 15, and then i
took one hit for nine.
- Oh, gotcha. Yeah.
- Do you go—
- I took two hits.
- You go next though right?
- No, i've already gone.
- He's already gone.
- No, lapin.
- You have two - That's two
Immediate as the arrows
thud your falling body,
The king falls again.
Your father is riddled with arrows.
- Can i use a reaction to put something
From my body onto his?
- Nope.
- Okay.
- I never gave him that
healing dice right?
- No you still have three left.
- By the way, just so you know, you can,
It's not necessarily advisable,
But you can do more
than one dice at a time.
- I understand. Yeah.
- And that is all of the brigands.
Okay.
Lapin, that's gonna be you.
- From here,
Lapin is going to, bonus action give,
He's gonna well, let me right,
Roll a deception roll.
- Yeah, go for it.
- Eight plus eight is 16.
For bulbia.
- No one cares right now lapin.
- Five.
- That roll was unreal.
- Five.
All right amethar, you have
been dropped a couple of times.
- And what did, where is the
most injured looking archer?
- The most injured looking archer.
This guy's gotten stabbed
So many f*cking times by this dude.
This dude is fully uninjured.
These guys over here are very,
Some of them are very injured.
Some of them are not injured at all.
This cluster of three over here.
- Okay.
I'll just roll for damage i guess
I'll just roll to see if i hit one.
- Cool.
Or which one are you talking about?
- This one's very injured
And then one over here.
- One is also very—
- Yeah, is that number two's uninjured.
This guy back here, number
seven is quite injured.
- Okay.
I'm gonna go for the quite
injured guy back there.
- Awesome. Go for it.
- Lapin also continues to
pretend this is for bulbia.
It's like and for bulbia.
- That's a hit.
- Yeah.
- So i'm using agonizing blast.
- Yeah.
- That's a d10.
- Yeah, d10.
- That sounds like a
real spiritual bulbian-
- 10 plus four, so 14.
For bulbia!
- Lapin stands up and goes,
"for bulbia."
And a screaming helix of
purple sugar plum energy
Blasts out of his open hand.
A point of blinding light
appearing in his palm,
And a strange spiky candy rune
Appearing at the base of
his hand for a moment.
- I may not have to keep
your secret much longer.
- Yes, we can all agree that
this was very holy indeed.
- That guy has his
f*cking innards liquefied.
He vomits, glittering
purple syrup everywhere,
And his eyes melt out of his head
As his body just collapses into syrup.
He's dead.
- We all agree.
For bulbia.
- The great bulb in the sky, amen.
- Amen.
- I'm only giving you the five,
Just because, you know.
- I mean, yeah i'd rather be
continued to be made alive,
Especially yeah.
- Yeah.
- I see you.
- And then can i move?
- Yes. I believe you can.
- I will move,
Can i just, well, if i
moved in front of the king,
How does that like factor
into the assassins?
Like they'll probably
still be able to see you.
- They probably still be
able to see him, yeah.
- Yeah.
- I'll move before they do,
I'll move smarter.
- I'll move, yeah
I'll move over...
Lapin will move,
Just here to get more of a
line of sight on those guys.
- Cool. Great.
Lapin moves back next to the other archer.
That's going to...
You see lord cruller who you see,
He says,
"nice thing about these pants
Is they're good in terms of flexibility."
He takes a movement and a dash,
So sprints a full like 60
feet over to this dude.
Gets sneak attack because—
- I f*cking love lord cruller dude.
- I must apprentice with him.
- This why i tell you, you watch
a guy sh**t a couple times,
You are friends for life.
- You see that he does
this twee little pirouette,
And then little dancers,
Comes over and crashes the
crossbow out of this guy's hand
And skewers him straight
through the stomach
And then just does this like
weird corkscrewing twist
And you see the guy slammed to the ground,
As his innards are just
scrambled by the sneak attack.
He's not joking anymore.
He's watched you fall
twice and you see, he says,
"tartguard disarm them,
do whatever you can.
"they've come to k*ll the king."
Knowing that you've k*lled many of them,
But you know, not to belabor the point,
Had one other arrow struck amethar,
He would've been dead, full dead.
- If one other, because—
- It would've counted
as the third failure.
- Melee weapons count as
two death safe failures,
Range weapons when they hit
And unconscious person count
for one death safe failure.
- Gotcha.
- So we just got lucky today.
- Yeah.
- Goddam! Murph.
- Yeah, that's going to be murph.
- Sir theobald.
- Sir theobald.
- Surge theobald.
- All right, i'm going to,
You know what?
I'll crack at some of
the melee guys around us
So they don't knock the king
out while he's down please.
- 15 hits.
- A moment of silence.
- We did the same thing.
- Are you hitting the guy
right in front of you?
- Whichever, whoever looks more hurt.
- Okay.
- That i don't have to move while hitting.
- Dude to your,
They look pretty equally hurt.
- Okay. I'll just do it to 12.
- Okay.
- And i do 12 damage to 12.
- 12 to 12.
- Are you using green flame blade?
- And i'm using green flame blade.
- Or actually,
Give me, they're not exactly,
Give me a medicine check
We'll call it a dc 10 medicine check.
- Nat 18.
- Dude on the left is slightly more hurt.
- Sweet i'll go after
the dude on the left.
I do green flame blade
and i do 12 damage to him
And i do two to the guy next to him.
- You reach out with the battle pop
And you cleave and the
battle pop comes down
And there's a splash
of cheese all over you
As you just cleave through
the chest of this guy
Right next to you,
As fire spreads to the guy next to you.
That's going to move,
So that's sir theobald.
That's your action.
Any other movement or you're all good?
- I am good,
I'm near the king.
Yeah, i'm good.
- Okay.
That is sir theobald,
liam that's you baby.
- Okay.
I'm gonna run around the
other side of the tree
And into the cart if i can make it,
So that i can maybe sh**t those
guys from inside the cart.
They're so close to it.
Could i do something like that?
- Oh yeah, absolutely.
Just give me a acrobatics check.
- Sure.
- Let me get my stuff out of here.
- Oh, okay.
That's a seven.
- You cannot get through the cart,
So you've got to just do
your standard movement
One way or the other around me.
You can either go in
plain sight of everybody
Or you can go and sneak
try to sneak over back.
- I'll kind of sneak by on
the other side of the tree
If that's cool.
That's just like 15 feet of movement
- Cool.
- Behind it, yeah. Nice.
Kinda like behind the branch.
- I can dig that, awesome.
- Yeah,
- Hold your hand.
And i'm gonna..
Preston's gonna smooch me
with his little wet snout,
And i'm gonna have advantage hitting,
Which one of those guys—
- This guy's f*cked up.
- That guy is f*cked up? Okay.
Oh yeah. That's like 26
- Oh yeah, go ahead and roll damage.
- Okay. So this is a d10 plus six- 11.
- 11 awesome.
Another crossbow bolt,
badly injured that guy.
Thwack.
- And then i'm gonna run back
To the other side of the tree.
- Just a little sn*per jumping out
A little hunter move, cool.
You going backward inside the tree?
- Would it be an action for me to take,
To have like one of my hatchets
And be like trying to chop this tree down.
- Yeah, for sure.
That's liam, jet that's you.
- Okay, i would like to,
Is there a combatant across from my dad?
- Oh, that's right, on the
other side of that tree?
- Or they're dead i think.
- Are there any active
combatants around my dad?
- Oh yes.
This guy right here, he's
got a bead on your dad.
So there's this dude right
here who's crouching.
- Okay, then you know what?
So i'm not gonna use my movement just yet.
I'm going to attack this person.
- Okay.
- With sprinkle's help, noble steed.
Nice two 19s baby okay.
- And you do get sneak attack on this.
- So that's just gonna be a 11.
And then i'm gonna run over to my dad,
And put my locket of the
sweetest around his neck.
- And put your locket of the
sweetest around his neck.
- And i'm gonna look at ruby
And just in case, in twin language,
I'm like, just in case we
can give dad that advantage.
- This is very sweet.
This is not the time to
be exchanging jewelry.
Stop throwing gems at people all right?
- I'm gonna say i'm gonna
allow it for this battle,
In the future,
The lockets work because
they are attuned to you
So you can't give it to anybody.
I'll say you can give it to your pop
Cause he's your sweet papa.
- Okay.
- But in the future they are,
It takes a while to
attune to a magical item
And have them work.
- Okay.
But it'll work on my dad for now.
- It'll work on your daddy for right now.
However, i'll tell you what will not work,
Is the attack of opportunity
that that brigand—
- Bring it on.
- Is that guy still alive?
- Does he hit?
- He does hit.
- Shield.
I get once a day shield with my—
- Hell yeah.
- He would have dropped you
with 12 points of damage.
- Oh wait, hold on,
Shield gives you plus five, right?
- Plus five.
- This guy rolled a natural 18 plus four
Means he rolled a 22.
It was a 22, what is
your armor class go to
When you cast shield?
- 21.
- Nooo!
- Can i use protection to
give them disadvantage?
- You still have your,
You still have—
- Have some of my reaction
cause i just want again.
- Okay. He's going to roll again,
If he, okay.
This feels box of doom now because he,
If he rolls a 17 or
higher, he still hits a 21.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Shield, protection.
My locket around my dad's neck.
- That's a natural five.
- Yes!
- You've been k*lling it with your blade.
You turn around to to
cast that you're like,
Oh, and start to do this defensive thing
And you see that this guy
just overpowers through it.
You see your blade bend
And this lollipop shield comes in the way
And blocks the blow as
theo steps in front of.
- You know, perhaps i should
also learn a defensive blow.
- Yes. That would be good.
- Incredible.
That's going to be, that's jet.
So you rush over to your father,
Give him, the locket
of the sweetest heart.
- What are you doing?
What are you doing my guy?
- No, no, no, no, no.
Put that box away brennan. Come on now.
- What are you doing?
- This is not a time
to take out your lunch.
- I actually am not feeling
good about this right now.
- You hear,
And—
- These are our friends.
- These are on our side, right?
- These are imperial.
- Are they our friends?
- Yeah, they're—
- We'll see.
- That's the seal i think,
From the—
- But that doesn't mean anything,
We're in "game of thrones"
that doesn't mean sh*t.
- But what is this guy's deal?
- You see him calling out and being like,
"sirs, sirs we're in trouble."
And you hear a battle cry,
And see a small squadron
of ceresian infantry,
Led by this guy at the front.
- We do a perception check
or a insight check on—
- Give me an insight check.
- Can i do the same?
- Yeah.
- Yes you may.
- I got 21.
- 18.
- You look at the front,
The guy at the front is this young guy.
He is a centurion commander of ceresian,
But of the imperial army.
And you see his rushes as he looks at you,
He makes eye contact.
You see, he just gives you a quick nod,
Immediately clocks the marauders here
And goes,
Screams and lowers his weapon
as they begin to charge.
- Okay.
- Ooh! That's so good,
that's such a relief.
- That is going to be—
- Never thought i'd be
so relieved to see bread.
- Ruby, that's you.
- Okay, sorry pops,
This is gonna annoy you,
But i've got to protect you.
I'm gonna cast fog cloud in the area that,
All of these guys are in.
It's a 20 foot radius.
So basically, if you
don't have line of sight,
You can't hit him.
You know, like there,
It will fully hide him,
It's a 20 foot radius sphere
of fog centered on a point
Within the range of sphere,
Spreads around
- So does it give the
archers disadvantage?
- Yeah, basically it's...
The area is heavily obscured.
So nobody can take an
attack of opportunity
Against anybody in that area,
Because that requires sight and
also archers can't get them.
- That's great.
- You fill this place
with sparkling candy mist.
- I say abracadabra,
Cause i learned this at the circus.
- She's just putting on
such an amazing show.
Your foes, they are not worthy of this.
- Thank you.
- Give me an insight
check if you'd be so kind.
- Oh no, i don't have great insight.
- Okay, great.
Cool.
That's going to be, that's ruby.
- That's a bad sign.
- Oh no.
Can i actually step into the fog?
- You can if you'd like.
Sure.
- I'll stay out of the fog.
- Okay.
- What are you doing right now my guy?
- You see it is now,
So that's ruby's turn it is now,
And it's a 20 foot radius correct?
- 20 foot radius.
- Gotcha.
Okay. Copy that.
- Did i just make a huge mistake?
- I don't know—
- It seemed like a good idea.
- Honestly, 40 feet if you put,
If you centered it on your dad,
Almost would hit you.
- Okay.
- That rises up into the air,
Tartguard gonna rush to their king.
This guy's gonna rush
all the way over here.
This guy's gonna rush over
here next to sir theo.
That is a hit.
Reaches out with his spear,
Stabs that guy in front of you,
He's not down though.
This guy is gonna rush over here.
This is f*cked.
There's a hurt archer right?
- Mm hmm.
- Get them.
That is going to be, a miss.
You see a tartguard starts rushing around.
That's now going to be...
That is king amethar.
- Can i make an insight check
As to the nature of these gentlemen?
- Not anymore.
- I can't see them?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Let's get the f*ck out of here.
- I'm gonna move toward lapin
And if i wanted to move out of the fog,
Or like to the edge of the fog,
Where would that be?
- You're like kind of in a center of it.
So it's really like any direction.
Yeah, that guys in the fog.
- Can he see us or just nobody—
- No he can't see anything.
- Great.
- We also can't see anything, to be clear.
- We also can't,
So i'm gonna move past jet five, 10,
To stand next to lapin.
- Cool.
- Cause he's the one who been giving me
All this sweet magic juice.
And i understand that lemme put that...
God damn,
But we can't see, nobody
can see anyone, right?
- Is this guy going anywhere?
- What's that?
- I just forgot about this.
- Oh, licorina—
- She's just a servant.
- She's a servant.
- So i can't see anybody right?
- You can see lapin,
You can see that tartguard next to you.
You can't...
You may make a perception check,
If you can hear stuff, but—
- Okay.
- Maybe like hold an
action until you got hit.
- Yeah, can i hold?
I'll take the dodge action.
- Yeah, great.
- Yeah, i'll take the dodge action.
- Cool. You don't go back into your rage,
You take a dodge action.
- I don't have any more.
- You're out.
There you go.
- Got all my superiority die.
- That's amethar.
- We gotta make this happen.
I thought we were doing everything right.
- We were.
- It's just unfair.
- I think brennan just is messing us up
With that reaction too.
- I got a 21 on my insight
check and i didn't,
They just nodded at me.
Although that doesn't mean anything.
- It means they maybe rolled well.
- If those guys are
bad, all of us are dead.
- What is that? Who's that?
- He's an archer.
- How do they know where he is?
- That's a great point,
I'm gonna roll some perception rolls.
Your dad's not a quiet guy.
- Fair.
He's popping.
- So in there,
They would have disadvantage
And he's already taken the dodge.
- These two totally lose your dad.
- Yes.
- But they do not lose liam.
They start to run.
- f*ck i'm sorry liam.
- Run toward liam?
- Yeah.
- And i'm aware of that right?
Cause now we're in battle
so i'm alert to danger.
- You are alert to danger.
These guys are gonna take
some shots at you, liam.
- Do you have the alert feat?
- Yeah.
- Both miss.
- Cool.
- These guys are gonna take swings
With disadvantage on king amethar.
However they're gonna
roll stealth checks first.
Both of them succeed on stealth checks,
Meaning that their disadvantage
and advantage cancel out,
So they are going to attack you.
- He has it, he's in the fog
cloud and has dodged do those?
- You can't double stack
disadvantage and advantage.
That's gonna be a hit.
- f*ck.
- Seven, take nine points of damage.
- Down for the third time.
- Comes in, clubs you.
And now they are next to lapin,
Both raising weapons
over to finish the job.
Amethar goes down those two right there,
That is now...
And i think that's f*cking
pretty much everybody
Trying to see if i haven't,
Missing any of my little guys.
- Okay, lapin that's you.
- I know he's next to me.
I know those guys are next to me.
I'm going to...
Well, do i have like a sense of,
Can i basically see them?
Just because i know that
they're right there.
This, i mean, do i have to
make any roles for that?
- No you're probably,
They're within five feet.
- Okay, i'm going to...
I only have two more heals left.
I'm gonna heal him for one.
- Yeah, i think that's good.
- It's only two.
And then i'm going to use a step
Between wherever i can get to be next
To both of those guys.
And i'm gonna use word of radiance
So i can do one d six the
damage to both of them.
- Okay.
Go for it.
Or actually they just
roll a save i think right?
- Constitution saving
throw or take one d6.
- Yeah, they're gonna roll a con save.
- Oh wow. Sure.
- I know, me too.
- Just remember to breathe.
- They both succeed.
- So they don't take damage?
- They don't take damage.
You utter a word of radiance,
Neither takes damage.
- Can i just pray to the sugar plum fairy,
To see if there's anything
That they can tell me or something.
- You better pray.
- Oh, you f*ck.
- That is lapin's turn,
The king has arisen
With how many points did you get back?
- Two.
It's enough to keep me from dying.
- It's also enough to keep you swinging.
- Yeah.
Come on cruller.
- They attack
me they'll hit you so,
- Man only having to spell slots sucks.
- It's f*cking—
- You can't do anything.
- As a warlock,
You'll be that way for so many—
- Years.
- Six, cruller misses due to the fog,
Slashing around.
Theo, that's you.
You're in the fog.
- Okay.
Does that mean i disadvantage on attacks?
- It does.
- f*ck.
I am going to
Cast jump
On king amethar.
- On king amethar?
- Yeah.
- You cast just jump
on king amethar. Okay.
- Get out of the mix please.
- I don't like that i have to,
But i'm trying.
- You, reach into a center
of your knight's heart
And you hear the sound
of your gummy people.
- Oh, no.
Just like being home.
- Oh no.
- And a deep gumminess fills
the soul of the king of candia
- Do you maybe have a little thing
Of gummy juice i can drink.
- Where is he bouncing, is it here?
Is it there? Is it everywhere?
- Don't sing the song,
we can't license it.
Okay, cool.
- What does jump do?
- You can jump three times
your jump is tripled.
So i'm hoping you can like
Jump to the other side
of the cart or something.
- Oh that's your action,
Any movement from you?
- I'm staying, i'm just going
to get as is, has he moved?
I can't see cause of the trees.
Where's amethar at?
- Can you even talk to these people?
- Amethar is 10 feet away from you.
- Sweet,
I am just going to back up to as,
Get as close to amethar as i can.
- Okay, cool.
Corpses litter the ground, but
you wedge your way in there.
Great.
Okay, great.
That's theo.
Liam, that's you.
- Okay.
Can i like do an investigation check
And see what these people
are, what they speak?
- Yeah, go for it.
- If they're friendly.
- You roll with advantage
too, cause there are,
You rolled pretty high, right?
- Yeah, 18.
- Oh these are ceresian soldiers,
But they were the crest
of the imperial army.
So they're their imperial soldiers.
- Can i yell to them?
- Yeah, absolutely.
Do you speak ceresian?
- Yeah, i do.
- Oh, awesome great.
Cool.
- Right, yeah ceresian?
- Yeah.
- Yeah i speak ceresian.
Okay, i yell,
"hey, help us the king
is dying in that fog."
- You see that, he says,
"you've got it, men, after those archers."
And you see that he lowers
his spear and begins to run.
And you see he says imperfect
candian and he says,
"friends of candia have
arrived for the king."
- For the king.
- I think they might just be good.
- I think they're good.
- Cool that's for free,
Anything else you're doing—
- Yeah, no, i'm definitely
gonna take a shot
At the more injured one.
- Go for it.
- Preston kisses me, i get advantage.
That's over 20.
- Go for it.
- Okay, come on please.
Just give me a f*cking 10.
- Oh, close.
Okay, that's 13 damage to—
- As these two guys turn
around to see the ceresians,
You ice one in the back of
the head with a mint arrow.
This dude is done.
- Okay.
- Hell yeah.
- But whatsup with this guy?
- Why isn't that guy attacking
The guy that's right next to him.
- Listen every season.
It's either a vulture or—
- He's running with a bag.
- Yeah, what's in the bag though?
- Jet that's your turn.
- Okay.
I would like to mount
sprinkle the faithful steed
And charge—
- Sprinkle is tiny
- Sprinkle is about the size
of a corgi, but go for it.
- You're going to hurt him.
- I'm a wee licorice—
- His little back.
- And i'd like to charge
One of the people who attacked my dad.
- Awesome, go for it.
This guy right here—
- So i have advantage because of the fog,
But i'll have advantage
because the of sprinkle,
So i just have a regular?
- Regular attack.
- Okay.
- Aww.
- Oh!
- Two.
- Okay.
You lash out and through the fog,
Do not find purchase
with the twizzling blade.
Blade moves out.
That is jet's turn.
He's going to rush up here.
These guys are gonna rush
off so three peel off,
You go take care of this dude.
These three rush into the fog as well.
You see, this dude rolls up,
Coming through the fog,
You see,
A tall clean shaven breadsticks centurion.
He looks like a young
commander of the ceresian army,
Given in tribute to the imperial army.
He runs up beside you,
Gives you plus one d4 to
your attacks and saves,
And immediately grants
you one melee attack.
Which you get free advantage on
Because you're within 10 feet.
- Oh no, sorry.
Don't roll with advantage though
Cause it's still the fog
so it's just one flat.
- Well i got 12 and a 13.
Would a 20 or 19 hit?
- Both would hit.
- Okay.
Then i would say i hit.
- And you get sneak attack on this.
- Okay. That's gonna be 16.
- Wow.
- 16 damage?
- Yeah.
- You hear the tramping of feet.
This guy has got those like roman,
Like sandals all the way up the knee
And like sort of like
centurion breastplate.
You see that he runs up without even,
He makes quick eye contact with you
And just brings this guy.
This guy is facing away from you.
He hits his weapon
And instead of going for
the k*ll shot himself,
Brings his spear down
And brings the guy's head
right down in front of you.
So you just put your blade
right through the top.
You see that he,
Without even thinking,
just claps you on the back
And says,
"well done."
And takes one more step into the fog.
- Who was he?
- Did she k*ll him?
- Dead.
- My first k*lling blow
and i don't even know —
- You did it?
Oh i didn't see it.
Oh god.
- It's okay, the fog cloud saved dad.
I'm sure i have many more
k*lling blows in my future.
- You're right.
- I wanna yell out to everybody,
Keep one of them alive!
- Awesome.
And this—
- How many are left?
- Not many.
- I think we're down to one
And those three centurions—
- There's one right here.
- Oh, there's one there, okay.
- Okay.
That's the imperial forces.
He's actually still got an action left,
But he doesn't have any movement yet,
So he's going to stop—
- What's your name?
- He goes,
" commander constano grissini,
i'm sorry we were late."
You see, that, ruby, that's your turn.
- Oh, that's me.
After me, it's them, right?
- It's me.
- No, it's amethar.
- Sick.
And then there's just this one guy left?
- There's one there, one there.
- One there, one there,
And i'm right next to this guy right?
- Correct.
- I'm right next to him?
- You are next to him.
- Then i am going to,
it's me and then it's you.
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna drop the fog cloud.
Get my buddy limon to
give me a help action,
So i can use my rapier.
Which i'm not as good
at, but i don't have,
I'm right next to him
And i'm gonna attack this
archer right next to me.
- Go for it.
- f*ck. God.
Does a 13 hit?
- 13 hits.
- Oh, great, okay.
- f*ck this cheese.
- That is, an eight plus three 12, 13
No. Oh my god. 11.
- That's the first damage
that guy's taken all fight.
- Ooh.
- The whole fight?
- What kind of weapon does he have?
- He has a bow.
- He's an archer, okay.
- You do 11.
Oh, these three guys in the fog, however,
They stopped in the fog.
They all had little pylon,
Short throwing javelins ready
And just release javelins
And ice this f*cking
dude through the chest.
As soon as that they had readied actions,
As soon as the fog dropped, they nail him.
These guys over here,
I'm going to roll.
Ooh, those are some lousy rolls.
- Can i yell keep him alive in cerulean?
- In ceresian.
- Ceresian.
Cerulean. Pokemon.
- Brand names.
- Don't edit this.
- Yeah, you yell that at them.
It's gonna be the tartguard.
- Grab him.
- Just a tackle like we practiced.
- On a nat 20,
The last tartguard says,
" for candia!"
And puts his spear straight
through the eyeball
And out the back of the skull.
- You idiot.
- What were you saying
in that goofy language?
- The same thing i said in your language.
- What's that?
- Good job.
- Can i make an insight check?
- Yeah, go for it.
- I'm gonna pray to the sugar
plum fairy quietly to myself
Cause i don't trust, i still
feel like something's wrong,
More wrong than-
- Well, let me first say this.
Amethar you stand, the
last combatants are dead.
There is just carnage all over the ground.
The fog cloud dissipates,
And you see these imperial soldiers
Standing here in the road.
And with that, the battle
ends you're out of initiative.
- Liam cut that tree down.
- Yeah.
- So go ahead and make your insight check.
What are you trying to
make an insight check for?
- I mean we got out of that
But it still feels like something's wrong.
- Can we go over and i
wanna like rip the mat.
I mean we know that these are cheese guys,
But can we like search their bodies and—
- Yeah.
- Yes, you absolutely can.
- I look at the cheese.
- I'd like to start chopping up that tree,
Making little bonfires
around the side of the road.
- Cool.
That's an insane thing.
What i'm saying is—
What i'm going to—
- I'm a camping guy—
- To like light them, if
they're small campfires.
- I can use druid craft, i'm just...
- Now what i wanna so first of all though,
Yes, there are stuff
that you guys wanna do.
If the first moment the
battle ends, you're still,
Cause these guys were like
popping out of hiding and sh*t.
So you see that the
commander looks around,
Orders his men to go behind the wall.
You see that two of them go into here
And immediately find a family of candians
Bound and gagged in there
like farmers and stuff.
They release.
The commander walks up,
- I know what i want.
- What is everyone's injury level?
- I'm at full.
- I'm pretty good i'm at 30
- I'm down two hit points that's all.
- I've died three times i'm at two now.
- I'm at 23.
- Okay.
- I know what i wanna ask about.
- Great.
You see the commander
grissini walks over to you,
Bows deeply and he says,
"your royal majesty,
"i am so sorry for the
lives of your fighting men
"that we could not arrive in time."
- It's fine though.
You got here when you did.
Thank you for that.
- Is this the guy who
hooked me up in battle?
- Yes, it is.
- He looks at you and says,
"your woman at arms is
a talent with the blade.
- That's my daughter.
- I am so sorry.
- "yes that is a princess.
- Yes, it is my mistake
"i am so very sorry."
- I'm much more of a
princess of the people.
- "i am myself soldier of the people,
"it is an honor to escort you.
"we can take time.
"my men will see that
we tend immediately."
He immediately sends his men out
To go see if any of the
tartguard are not fully dead.
I'm just gonna roll.
We're just gonna do...
Give them one death save each.
- Can i do spare the dying?
- I'll see,
Some of you guys were
fighting for a lot of rounds—
- Yes
- 10, 10, 11, 15, 16.
- Cool.
- All of them, can be,
Are stable and that's insane.
Cool.
So you see, he looks around.
Let me see if anyone else,
did anyone else drop?
- How's licorishina?
- Licorina is—
- She's fine.
- She's fine.
- We got to give her like a
little grenade or something.
- That's crazy, all of them would survive.
- Here is a grenade.
- Use it well.
- Suicide grenade.
Use it to k*ll yourself if we all die.
- Those are i roll...
I was mad that they all survived
And i rolled twice again
and they're all fine.
They all made it.
- That's crazy.
- That's crazy.
So you see that the...
You see the tartguard are bandaged,
Taken in, you see that, cool.
What was it that, lapin wanted to do?
- I'm sorry, what are
the guard called again?
- This is the imperial army.
So this is the imperial army
of the concordant empire.
- And it's the imperial messenger,
Was the one person who came to the queen
And then a separate messenger
came to the daughters?
- That's correct. Yes.
- And i was aware of that.
I don't, i still feel like
i don't trust the imperials
At this point.
- Yeah, of course.
Go ahead and give me an...
Are you gonna go talk
to commander grissini?
- I, yeah.
- Tell me what role you
wanna make and we'll make it.
- I just, i guess i'll
just make an insight check
About him and his, guards.
- Go ahead and give me an insight check.
- Okay.
- I'm kinda talking his ear off.
- Insight—
- About my training regimen.
- 23.
- Cool.
You look at commander grissini
You see him talking to his men.
You see he's gesturing to these brigands.
They're like helping to investigate other,
Like taking the body of the
tartguard into the wagons.
He looks up at you and goes,
"it's a miracle that nobody died here."
- I know this was horrible.
- You see, he says,
"of course you are a
primogen of the church."
- Yes sir.
- You see, he says,
"why is primogen m
"i don't know what miracles
you have worked here today,
"but thank you for them."
You, the bead you're gonna get with a 23
Is that he's straight up
That he's like, was sent here.
This is the border land.
He was probably waiting
down the road for you.
In fact, you actually
hear coming up the road,
The other tartguard that were down,
You're like advanced
guard of people you sent
Ends up coming back with these guys.
He was sent here to escort you.
He looks with a 23, which is very high.
He looks ashamed.
He looks f*cked up that he
wasn't able to get here earlier.
I mean, you see that he would probably
Have tendered his resignation
if anyone had died here.
And is like dealing with
the fact that he would have
Dishonored himself had
anyone here lost their life.
- Okay.
Well, i'm just going to say
you owe the king your life.
- I owe the king my life?
- Just for the future.
- Okay oh yeah.
- He, looks and says,
"i understand."
With a 23 though you do see something,
He looks at ruby and
something crosses his eyes
And he can't quite look at ruby.
- Can i make it—
- Is this because
Magic is a little bit of a little taboo?
- You see, lord cruller
walks up to you, ruby,
You see he says,
"remarkable work, your highness,
"things are going to get
very complicated in comida.
"i don't suggest you pull off tricks
"like that again lightly."
- I don't even know what i
was doing when i was dead.
I saw aunt lazuli and perhaps—
- Can i—
- Magic.
- "that's the exact kind of thing
"that we are never going
to say out loud again."
- Okay.
- I wanna talk to the guard
again and using deception,
Say,
"this one is touched
by the bulbian faith."
- Amen.
- Give me a deception
roll with disadvantage.
- 12.
- Okay, hold on one second.
- sh*t.
- 12 i'm gonna do one last box of doom.
- Wow!
- He gets a plus two to
this roll for insight.
He looks at you and says,
"she is touched by the bulbian...
"the bulb has gifted her with this, gift."
- Yes.
- You see, he looks and says,
"the gifts manifest in
ways strange and uncommon.
"that is very good to hear.
"i see that of course
traveling in your company,
"but i am not surprised
the nieces of st. Citrona,
"saint citrina."
- Get it right.
- Yeah, my favorite aunt.
- " my apologies your majesty."
You see, he says, we will...
The young boys here, we
will clear this three,
We'll be back on the road
And we will go straight through,
We'll light the lanterns.
There's no need to stop tonight.
Does anyone have any investigation
they want to do here?
- Could we talk to the people
in that house that were here?
- Yeah absolutely.
You see those two little gumball head kids
And a little sort of purple lolly farmer,
Looks out and says,
"sir, it were right terrible,
"them cheese pirates came in here
"and they bound us up hand and foot
"and then they marked
themselves up with rotten meat,
"sir fish and bacon and the like."
- Did you overhear them saying anything?
- "they were speaking some garbaldygook
"i couldn't right understand."
- All right.
- "they didn't speak no good
candian and that's for sure."
- Do you mind if i look around
And see if they left anything behind here?
- "sir you being the knight and all,
"you is welcomed to do as you wish."
- Appreciate it.
- Go ahead and give me
an investigation check.
- Can i have sprinkle help me?
- Yeah.
- Sniff around sprinkle,
- 14.
You find only what you knew in battle.
I'll say this.
You don't see any steeds,
You don't see any f*cking
way that these guys got here.
So like they aren't like marauders,
They like sailed to a nearby tributary
And then like got here,
However they f*cking got here,
Its like they don't seem like
they got here by outlaw means,
If that makes sense.
Like there's no way they didn't like ride
Through the forest to get here.
There would be like steeds,
Like stabled somewhere nearby.
- And this dude in this
carriage is dairy, right?
- Yes.
Or he's well lord swirly's ice cream.
So he's loyal to candia.
But you see he comes out and says,
"hey, we hid in the carriage
as long as we could.
"what a fearsome uproar outside.
"terrible, but onto
comida, we must i assume."
- You ever run into cheese bandits?
- "many come across the
coast in the north of course.
Many many yes."
- Chancellor, would you mind
coming here for a second
You are a bit more insightful than me.
Could we do insight checks on this dude?
- Do it.
- While they do that,
Can i look through some
of this carnage weaponry
And see if there's any
interesting weaponry
That can be thrown from afar?
- Yeah.
- 21.
- I got a 7. Good thing i called you over.
You're too stupid and i
should check, is that what-
- That felt mean.
- You see lord swirlie
looks like he has greatly
Diminished himself by never
coming out of the carriage
And helping to fight.
- Okay.
- You look over as you're
talking to him though,
He is like, is like i have
no, certainly no clue.
You see that lord cruller
comes over and says,
"did you speak to commander grassini?"
- Yes.
- I don't know who's going to
be able to speak to his men.
You see that the other soldiers
That also saw the fog cloud go up
Are just doing their work,
But keeping their eyes
downcast as they look at ruby.
You see, he says,
"it's not safe for us to discuss anything,
"but we need to find a time
"to speak with us and to the king.
"and maybe if your
suspicions are what they are
"without lord swirlie, things
are not going to end well.
"if any of those ceresian soldiers talk
"when we get to comida
"about what they saw,
"and if we tell the king in the wrong way,
"you know how he's going
to solve the problem."
And with that we end this second episode
Of "a crown of candy."
Tune in next week bye!
Other terrible things
that can happen to you
Short of death.
- So i just have to lie?
- You guys head to the
capital city of comida.
- I have no interest in romance,
But i would like to be held.
- Can i have my underwear back?
- Witchcraft brought
on an imperial highway.
- Be careful you don't
know who your friends are.
- I know who my friends are.
- I see you in the melee tomorrow, huh?
- Yeah, yeah. You f*cking will.
Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register
05x02 - Ambush On the Sucrosi Road
Watch/Buy Amazon
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.