[dramatic instrumental music]
- In the world of Spyre
did prophecy foretell
that the dragon Kalvaxus would
rise to power when once more
were seven maidens chained
at the mouth of his cave.
What the prophecy could not predict
was what The Seven had
in store for the world.
United by prophecy, bound by
friendship, the Seven Maidens
would quickly become one
of Spyre's premier parties
of teen heroes and all-star students
at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy.
You guys wanna play some D&D?
[players cheering]
Hello one and all!
And welcome back to
another thrilling episode
of "Dimension 20: The Seven."
I'm your humble dungeon
master Brennan Lee Mulligan.
Is that a mouthful of dice?
- Yeah, it is a f*cking mouthful of dice!
[players shouting]
- I'm your humble dungeon
master Brennan Lee Mulligan.
With me as always are our
Heroic High Schoolers.
Say hi, Heroic High Schoolers.
- [Players] Hi, Heroic High Schoolers.
[dice tapping table]
- Wait a minute, okay, did you roll?
- That was in fact worth it.
[players laughing]
- [Persephone] Yeah!
- I was in fact worrying, is
she gonna swallow all that
by accident and die?
- Yeah.
- I'm really glad you didn't die.
- Wait, die!
- Incredible.
Well, g*ng, people are spitting up dice.
- Oh, I'm people now?
- [Brennan] [laughs] Oh!
- [Players] Oh!
- Okay, Brennan.
I would like to relocate to
not be between them, thank you.
- I love you, I f*cking love you.
- Stay!
[Persephone yelps]
- [Persephone] I need an adult!
- It's never gonna happen.
- Last we left off, our
Heroic High Schoolers
were in pitched combat aboard the Rombosa,
flagship of Talcidimir Tallbreeze
and battle had broken out.
Finally having seen it in the
desk of Charity Blythe long
ago, it seemed that Tectonya
Karkovnya was a marked woman.
And marked she certainly is.
She is dead on the
b*ttlefield under the blade
of Katja Cleaver's mom, Jana,
wearing a swallowtail coat
and wielding a Great Sword
with a silver mask on her face
who has not said a word
to her airborne daughter.
A horrifying Jester-
- Talk about trying to
impress your parents.
Jesus f*cking Christ, I'm flying.
- [Brennan] A horrifying-
[players laughing]
- And she still doesn't care.
- A horrifying Jester is closing in on us.
We see the soul of Tectonya
Karkovnya preparing to
[exhales raspily] leave her body.
- [Becca] Stuff it back in!
- [Isabella] Preparing to.
- You just have to say, "bless
you" and it goes back in.
- Bless you.
- As she is fully dead.
Bloppelgangers descend on the dais.
Things are looking bad, g*ng.
And we're gonna jump
right back into combat
with Danielle Barkstock's turn.
- Okay, here we go here we go.
- Danielle, you have fallen
from the chandelier, bam, hit the deck.
You have maintained concentration.
Four pixies are still left
who all now go as well.
- [Aabria] Let's go, Kevins.
- I don't want to put expectation, Erika,
but I am really excited for
whatever you're gonna say.
- We have four Kevins
that are all going to go
so we have Antiope, Ostentatia,
Penny all get Fly cast on you.
- Yes!
- Thank you!
- By a Kevin, and I
believe there is a fourth-
- Thank you, Kevin.
- Love you, Kevin.
- There is a fourth Kevin
who cast it on Katja
who now may go as well.
- Okay, that fourth
Kevin is going to go over
and pull Sam out of the slime.
[Brennan gasps]
- Amazing, amazing, okay.
- Bless you.
- Kev!
- Kev, Kev, Kev.
Oh wait, I'm gonna. [mumbles]
- Kevin, Kevin!
- Erika, would you like this other Kevin,
oh no, that Kevin can't cast that
'cause it's maintaining concentration.
Okay, I am going to ask for a roll
with advantage
not from Sam but because this
was within the bear totem,
go ahead and give me a
strength check with advantage
and let me know what you roll on the die.
[lively piano music]
- For me or for...
- This is for the Kevin who's-
- 10.
- Okay, a 10?
Hold on one second.
- Oof.
- [Becca] Gosh, Kevin has shapely calves.
- [Persephone] Kevin does!
- Really?
I need to zoom in on a Kevin, wow.
- [Rekha] Thank you for modeling.
- [Brennan] Hey Kevin, way to go.
- [Isabella] Hey, Kevin, holy sh*t!
- [Rekha] Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.
- Wow.
- So wait, sorry,
the higher of the two
rolls was a 10 on the die?
- [Erika] Yes.
- Okay, unfortunately, that is not enough.
- Not even if I have Hex on it?
- Unfortunately not
even if you have a Hex.
- I know, it's only for if it rolls.
- I know, I know, unfortunately.
But Kevin goes, but also
because Kevin fails to do so
it does not activate the acid
damage of touching this thing.
So you see, I think that's
probably why this Kevin fails.
He's like, "I'm gonna get him!
Oh sh*t!
[Erika laughing]
Ooh, how do you kinda,
how do you get in there?"
- Poor Kev.
- Kevin!
- Yikes, this is bad!
- Next side quest, all Kevins.
- Aabria had said, "Oops, all Kevins."
- Actually, you know what?
- Okay, now you're thinking.
- Yeah, it's okay, it's okay,
I will also think my way out of this.
- I was gonna say, Katja,
how bad do you want to
keep flying right now?
You want to keep flying quite bad?
- No, if I can give that to somebody else.
- I think I actually,
I want to do something
to help the Kevins.
- I don't want your pity.
- [Brennan] Do you not want my pity?
- The Kevins don't, the Kevins don't.
- No, take his pity, take his pity!
- Fine, okay!
- Take his pity!
- I'll take your pity!
- Thank you.
- Concentration breaks
on Fly, Katja loses fly.
- I'm about to fall in
some wine, hell yeah.
- And Sam, you see Kevin
flies up to you and says,
"What have you always wanted to be?"
- Uh, oh no...
Uh, um, uh...
- Too long, a big-
- [Persephone] Swan!
- What's that?
- [Persephone] A swan.
- You are turned into a size large swan.
- Size: large.
- Which bursts you out
of the bloppelganger, you are
too large for it to engulf.
So with the Polymorph spell this Kevin
is able to break you
out of the bloppelganger
because you are the size of a-
- I'm a giant f*cking swan, I'm angry!
[Brennan laughs]
- [Aabria] Yeah.
- Filled with rage!
- Could she have said any animal on Earth
or anything on Earth?
- Yeah.
- She coulda said like, a cookie.
- [Becca] Tyrannosaurus rex.
- Or a dragon.
I shoulda said a dragon.
[players laughing]
- So you'd be like a cookie.
- A cookie.
- Any animal, like a cookie?
They're damn small.
- Polymorph can change you
into large-sized things, right?
Yeah, of course.
- [Rekha] Yeah, you didn't say animal.
- A giant, beautiful swan.
- Coulda been a cookie.
[Persephone honks]
- [Brennan] Bursts out
of this bloppelganger.
You are no longer engulfed.
- Oh my God!
[players laughing]
- [Brennan] Look at that.
- [screams] She's so beautiful, oh my God!
- Like a hot-a*s duck!
- Oh my God, she looks like a horse!
- She looks like a horse!
[Isabella hums "Sanford and
Son Theme The Streetbeater"]
- [Aabria] Look at all these chickens.
- Katja's gonna try and ride me.
- Can I f*cking ride her?
I gave her Fly.
- [Persephone] How long
does this last for?
♪ Can I ♪
- Until concentration breaks or-
- This is the hottest
thing I have ever seen.
- [Brennan] Amazing.
- [Persephone] Oh my God.
- Look at her, wow!
- Transformation lasts for the duration
or until the target drops to
zero hit points, the new form-
[Persephone honks]
- Honk, honk.
- Honk honk
♪ Honk, honk, honk ♪
- Incredible, cool.
- Sky horse!
- What is Danielle doing?
- Sky horse!
♪ Sky horse ♪
♪ Sky horse ♪
- And the remaining Kevins
also ask if they should hide
or if they should-
- Yes!
The remaining Kevins should,
like, clear the area!
And they all scatter and hide.
- So after casting Fly they
basically get out of the range
of bloppelgangers so that
they won't get k*lled
and drop concentration on
your various Fly spells.
- [Persephone] I give a
little wink to my Kevin.
- [Isabella] What did you do?
- [Brennan] Okay.
- Sky horse.
- Sky horse.
- Danielle pulls out
the Fly potion from her belt.
- [Brennan] Uh-huh, amazing.
- Takes a knee and slams it.
- [Brennan] Awesome.
- She's definitely done
this kinda thing before.
- She gets iced by a Fly potion.
- [Rekha] She gets iced by a potion.
- And...
[heroic instrumental music]
Grabs Tectonya.
- Amazing, you grab.
So action to drink the potion,
object interaction to
grab Tectonya's body.
You have movement and bonus action left.
[Isabella whispers]
- What is it?
- It's a touch.
- Okay.
I fly towards Ostentatia.
- [Brennan] Amazing,
and you just cast fly.
So you fly-
- Don't leave me hanging.
- Jana looks at you grabbing the body.
You see that Jana was in the middle
of taking out a crystal palimpsest.
- No!
- Was in the middle of taking
out a crystal palimpsest.
- f*cking b*tch.
- We're all triggered.
- Yeah.
- She drops it
to grab her sword and
get a shot off at you,
attack of opportunity on you.
This could be enough to break
concentration if she hits.
Here we go, hold on one second. [hums]
- My reaction is only if she
takes a full action, yes?
- Your reaction is, and
also I want to double check.
I'm gonna house, I don't
know if this is the case,
but I'm gonna house rule that a potion
doesn't force you to take
concentration for the fly spell.
That does not make sense to me.
- Right, how would, yeah.
- Yeah.
- [Brennan] Why would that, it's-
- It's inside you.
- [Brennan] It's literally,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
- It's either in or out.
- The juice is loose.
- Once the juice is loose,
you can't get distracted-
- You remember first day of potions class,
the potion instructor saying,
"Once the juice is loose,
that's all she wrote, folks."
- And everyone went, Hootie-hoo!
- Hootie-hoo!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
- And then yelled "Hootie-hoo"
and then called class.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- And that was the only
day I was in class.
- I love Aguefort!
- [laughs] Okay.
- [Persephone] Why would
we want to graduate early?
- I never wanna leave!
- Let's stay.
- I want to stay forever.
- [Aabria] This is Van
Wilder super crazy days.
- Does Jana hit on a 16 for Danielle?
- AC is 16.
- [Brennan] AC is 16.
- Jana should eat sh*t, honestly.
- Jana is about to eat goose beak.
- [Brennan] Wait a minute,
I want to double check-
- Listen, if I am allowed to ride you,
you know I f*cking will.
- Do it, do it.
- And cleave her in the f*cking face.
- [Isabella] And put a
f*cking brush up your a*s.
- Absolutely.
- Yeah, I put a brush up Jana's a*s.
- Do it, yeah.
- [Brennan] Yeah, yeah, yeah,
for sure, for sure, for sure.
- You like?
- Brennan, are you having fun?
- Can I use luck to make Jana reroll?
- So she's gonna go ahead
and roll damage here.
- I'm nervous.
- I'm nervous.
- [Brennan] I know, this is scary.
- This is scary.
- [Persephone] I'm a swan.
- Also, we've seen how
horrifying a masked figure
inside of a blob looks, right?
- Yeah, it looks disgusting.
- [Persephone] Oh my God.
- This is so horrifying.
- It looks like someone with
just a sad face like, oh no!
- [Isabella] Oh no.
- Jana lashes out for 15
points of damage to Danielle
with the Great Sword.
I'm gonna need a concentration check
for the woodland beings.
- Oh, for the woodland being?
- Yes.
[Erika groans]
- Constitution saving throw.
- 12.
- The DC was 10, you succeed,
you hold onto the spell.
[Erika shouts]
Yeah, DC is 10, it was only 15 damage.
[Isabella retches]
[Brennan laughs]
I know, everyone's like,
we're almost about to lose our fly.
Danielle, dropping to
the ground you stand up,
down the potion, grab Tectonya's body.
You have 60 feet of flight
moving in any direction you want
with that attack of opportunity.
Where are you moving to,
straight to Ostentatia?
- No, she says to Ostentatia, "Go long!"
And they're going towards
a point far enough away
completely out of range of battle.
- Okay.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- 'Cause you're flying as well.
- [Isabella] Mm-hmm.
- Okay, so you want
to get somewhere else?
- [Erika] Yeah, yes.
- Before Jester hits, yes.
- Do you want to go like-
- Yeah, out of range of Jester.
- Do you want to go like arc
up, do you want to arc down?
Do you want to go to a
lower level, a higher level?
- Arc to a short fall.
- [Isabella] Oh, yeah.
- Arc to a short fall is some great advice
from the party rogue here.
[group laughing]
Definitely arc, but arc safely!
- Out of sight from the Jester.
- [Erika] Can we, yeah.
- Oh, cool.
If you want, you do not
see the Jester flying.
If you were to scoot down
to that second level,
you would have complete and total cover
from the stone balustrade.
- Yeah.
- Yes, let's do it.
- Okay, cool.
So Danielle, your beautiful,
iridescent beetle wings,
you fly with Tectonya to the lower level,
making eye contact with a now
aloft Ostentatia, incredible.
You dip down beneath you.
That is gonna be Danielle's turn.
The Kevins begin to fly off
into the rafters to hide.
- [Becca] Good Kevins.
- [Rekha] Good Kevins, good
Kevins, Kevins, Kevins.
- Oh, the Jester looks f*cking pissed.
Well no he's still wearing a
mask doesn't look like anything
- Hey, you know what he looks like,
and he looks like sh*t, Brennan.
[players laughing]
- The little bits of steam
come out the years.
- Steam coming off, yeah.
- [Isabella] He looks like trash.
- You're making the same joke.
- Ugly!
Listen, I never comment
on anyone's appearances.
- Ugly, stupid face.
- But you're ugly on the inside, dude.
- Ooh.
- It's shining through.
- Inside, outside, your clothes suck, too.
- [Rekha] Sorry.
- Okay, Ostentatia, the Jester turns-
- You're gonna lose your internship.
- The Jester turns to look at you
seeing Danielle make eye contact with you.
- No, he doesn't.
- [Brennan] And he is going to-
- [Becca] It's his turn?
- [Rekha] Deep, seductive
eye contact. [laughs]
- Legendary action.
[player groans]
And he is going to, although
he is f*cking up right now
a little bit.
- Good!
- He's gonna throw a
fire bolt right at you.
- Eat me.
- 17, 25-
- [Becca] Oh, she loves fire.
- 27.
- Halved.
- [Brennan] Halved to 13 points
of damage to Ostentatia, he-
- [Isabella] A scratch.
- [Aabria] Yeah!
- Ouch.
- Hey Jester, what's 49 minus 13?
- [Brennan And Rekha] 36.
[group laughing]
- I don't think I have spells for that.
- Go ahead and give me a
constitution saving throw
to hold on to your Wall of Fire.
So that's just 2d20 plus your
constitution saving throw.
- 2d20...
- And you're rolling with advantage
so it's 2d20 con saving throw.
You're just trying to beat a 10.
- Yeah, 17 plus four.
- Amazing.
You hold your spell.
- [Isabella] Okay.
- And that is gonna go to the next action
which is going to be
our girl, Zelda Donovan.
- Zelly!
- Zelda, Zelda, Zelda.
- [Players] Zelda, Zelda, Zelda!
- Zelda, how you feeling right now?
- Zelda says, "Tired of f*cking around!"
- Goodparty!
- As an Eagle Totem Barbarian,
she dashes as a bonus
action with the Mobile feat
and barbarian's Fast Movement
on a Satyr's 35 movement speed.
Her speed is 55.
She grabs Lysander under one arm.
- Nice.
- [Aabria] Baby.
- Because I kissed her
cheek, she's looking at him.
- Begins to sprint, looks at
you, Penny, as she is booking.
She is going to move 165 feet this round
and looks at you as you are
flying and says, "Are you good?"
She's like, "Are you good?"
- Could she pick, oh, I'm flying.
- You're flying, but she
can also football you
under the other arm.
- Yeah, I would like her to,
I would like to be footballed.
- Cool.
So Zelda is going to move-
- Fastball special.
- Dash, she's going to move,
bonus action dash, that's 110.
So she's going to move 110.
As an Eagle Totem Barbarian,
all these attacks of opportunity
are made with disadvantage
as she battle dances past everybody.
- [Persephone] I love her.
- That's gonna be a miss
on her from the first one.
She is gonna actually just
make an athletics check.
She fully leaps over the second one,
no attack of opportunity.
She just does a full
air somersault over it.
Let me know, TaleSpire crew,
that's where she makes it to 110.
Cool, she is going to... [hums]
- Wait, we should just hide Lysander.
He's got like four hit points.
- [Brennan] Yes.
- Stuff him in a barrel
or something and run away.
- Yeah, she actually is going
to, that's her movement.
- Put him behind that statue.
- As her action, no, she,
sorry, she is going to as her
action move another 55 feet
with both of you down the platform.
- Wait, hold on, just right
behind where she is right now
there is a coat of arms.
I feel like Lysander
should just be stuffed
inside that coat of arms to take a nap.
- I think that's nice.
- Oh, amazing, yeah.
So she is actually
going to, as her action,
open the helmet and shove Lysander in it
and goes, "stay there!"
And shuts it.
- Beautiful.
- [Persephone] Awesome.
- Oh no, that wasted her action.
- Shoves Lysander in he coat of arms
and then is going to end her, yeah,
she's gonna end her turn.
Yeah, she'll end her turn right there.
She'll end her turn with
Penny right near the dais
using a little bit of
extra moment actually
just to come with Penny right here.
- I don't think you wasted her turn.
- [Persephone] What a turn.
- Because these are high school girls.
They're looking out for each other
and each other's boos, you know?
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, yeah.
- [Rekha] We're playing in character.
- This could really happen with Lysander.
- This would happen.
- He might be the one.
- [Persephone] [laughs] Yeah.
- [Brennan] Amazing so-
- Okay.
- Yeah, Zelda clears 110 feet
and jams Lysander in a coat of armor.
- Pretty good.
- And that's gonna be Zelda's turn.
Katja, that's you.
- [Persephone] Ooh.
- Okay, should I k*ll...
- Your mom?
- You don't even have to ask.
You know what we're gonna say.
- Are you good?
Is that okay for you?
- I'm okay with it.
- Yeah, then light her a*s up.
- [Persephone] Do it.
- Well, okay-
- If you need to k*ll your mom
to settle sh*t, we're here for you.
- See, this is why I love you
guys, you're so supportive.
It's like, everything I say
is valid and it's incredible.
- Hey, just remember to
say all the epic things
you need to say because
you can't after she's gone,
so tell her.
- Yeah!
- Okay, can I interface
with her for a moment
or is this like, no?
- Oh, she's in pitched combat,
but you can say whatever you like.
- Okay.
- Can you reincarnate her into a good mom?
- She doesn't have to
hear you say it for you.
- Yeah, okay.
- I think we have to
k*ll her first, but yeah.
- [Brennan] Yeah, what does Katja do?
- I think she looks her dead in the eye.
She waits to see if she's
gonna say something.
- She whips out, connects with Danielle,
looks at them flying out
and looks back at you
and kneels down to pick
the crystal palimpsest
up off the floor and
put it back in her coat.
- [Becca] Oh sh*t, get that palimpsest.
- She gives you a moment to say something.
- Keep her off balance.
- Jana...
- [Aabria] Oof.
- Nice to meet you, I guess.
[dramatic instrumental music]
- I'm at work.
[groans]
- Oh, oh my God!
- Crush your mother's skull!
- [Persephone] Crush her!
- Okay, here's the thing.
I want to get the crystal,
right, before I k*ll her?
- You can k*ll her.
- But it won't break?
It won't break?
- Take it off of her dead body.
- If it breaks, all the better, who cares?
- Crushed, she dies, she dies.
- I look this woman
dead in f*cking cold eyes and say,
"I've got nothing to say to you."
And I take my Great Axe
and I want to attack
and then I want to do a pushing attack.
- Amazing, I will, this is incredible.
- Can I push her off
this balcony, basically?
- Good little crystal palimpsest there.
You can do whatever you want.
You have two attacks.
If you action surge you have four attacks.
- I'll do that, and am I still raging?
- You are absolutely still raging.
- [Aabria] Hell, yes.
- [Brennan] So... [hums]
- Only the sky above her.
- [Rekha] Yeah.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- [Isabella] So go push
her off of the ship.
- Yes, I would love to
throw her off the ship.
- [Persephone] Mm-hmm, I agree.
- Incredible, Katja, so you
have your Great Ax of Sundering.
You are raging right now.
So yeah, go ahead and make
your first attack roll.
- As I look into her eyes,
I think of every time
I needed a mother growing
up and how this b*tch
was never f*cking there and
never attempted to be there.
So while my dad might be a
f*cking piece of meat shitboy,
at least he tried to be there
and tried to take care
of me the best he could.
This woman didn't give me
the f*cking time of day.
Okay, so that's 13 plus 10, 23.
- 23 is a hit, go ahead and roll again.
- Okay.
- [Brennan] And let me
know if you want to do-
- [gasps] Nat 20.
[players cheering]
- [Aabria] Let's go!
- [Persephone] Yeah, yeah!
- Oh my God, it was, the speech did it.
- Okay, you can, now that's two attacks.
Do you want to put
maneuvers on these as well?
- I want the first one to be,
let's see...
I think I want to just
push this b*tch, first one.
Or actually, well, 'cause the second one,
is that a guarantee?
- Chop her first.
- It's chop her first and then-
- [Becca] Yeah.
- Here's the thing.
What you have right now, what
you have at your disposal
is trip attack which would knock her prone
meaning you get advantage
on every other attack this-
- [Rekha] f*ck yeah, I trip this b*tch.
- Okay, we're gonna trip
'cause here's the thing,
pushing attack, if it works,
will mean you don't get
any more swings on her
because you'll knock her away from you.
Okay, so we're gonna do trip attack first.
I'm gonna need the Box of
Doom out here for sure.
Katja's going ham.
- Let's go!
- [Persephone] Let's go!
- Going ham on Mom.
Incredible.
- I also wouldn't doubt
that if she got pushed
onto the lower level
she would go for us and attack-
- Oh for sure, you're right.
So I should beat the sh*t out of her first
before I push her down.
- [Isabella] Yeah.
- Okay, we got Box of Doom.
She has a lot, she adds, she's going to
add a lot to this.
♪ Bad mom, bad mom ♪
- Your DC, though, is 17.
♪ Whatcha gonna do ♪
♪ When you come for- ♪
♪ Whatcha gonna do ♪
when your daughter beats
the sh*t out of you.
[players laughing]
- [Brennan] She saves-
- [Aabria] Uh...
- Yes, tell me, Aabria's got a note.
- Don't forget, you have Savage Attack
'cause you're a Half-Orc so
your criticals are even worse.
[Rekha laughs maliciously]
- Your criticals are even
worse so we're gonna roll this-
- Your mother gave you that!
- We're gonna roll this save first.
We're gonna roll this save first here.
This is the save against your first attack
which connects which is a trip attack.
[tense instrumental music]
[die taps Box of Doom]
That is a save, she saves against that.
So the first trip attack does not work,
but you do add the extra damage.
Next attack, do you want to go trip again
or do you want to do something else?
This is your moment.
- Okay, I trip this b*tch.
I gotta trip this b*tch.
- Okay, she's gonna roll again.
She needs an eight or higher
to succeed against this.
- Brennan, roll it.
[dice tapping Box of Doom]
- She succeeds on the second one,
but you have your action
surge if you want it.
- I'ma action surge.
- Wait, the nat 20 didn't get her?
- The nat 20 is gonna
do a shitload of damage.
She's saving against trip
attack which are these maneuvers
that Katja's putting on everything.
- Thank you.
- I think let's roll all these attacks
and then we'll resolve damage all
in one big, beautiful moment.
- Okay, so I roll two more?
- [Brennan] Roll two more attacks.
- [Aabria] Let's go, give me
the crit, give me the crit.
- [Persephone] Mm-hmm, come on, crit!
- Okay, nine plus 10, 19.
- 19 is a hit, do you want to trip again?
- Yeah.
[die taps Box of Doom]
[tense instrumental music]
- That is a failure.
[players cheering]
- See you next fall.
[group laughing]
And then I go, "Psyche,
see you next Tuesday."
[players cheering]
- Yo!
- I'm going to need, you
have one attack left.
You roll this with advantage
'cause your mom is tripped.
You go under her feet.
We'll describe all this
in a second but let's do,
roll with advantage, you're rolling again.
- Okay, 15 plus 10, 25.
- Cool, and you rolled 2d20, right?
- [Rekha] Yeah.
- Okay 15 plus 10, cool.
And what kind of attack do
you want to throw on this?
What kind of maneuver do
you want to throw on this?
This is your last one.
- This is my push, right?
- [Brennan] Yeah, mm-hmm okay.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- But I have I done damage?
- He's gonna add after that.
- [Brennan] We're gonna
do all of that after.
- Yeah, I'm pushing her,
and as I push I say to her-
- That's such a teen thing to say,
"I have nothing to say to
you" and then say a bunch of-
- And then say a lot of stuff.
"And another thing," I say.
I have nothing to say but
I have one more thing!
- [Brennan] Yes.
- Thank you because I've realized
all those times I wanted a mom,
I never f*cking needed you.
- [Players] Ooh!
- I thought you were gonna
say, all I really wanted
was a horse.
- A horse.
And then I add, "And another thing!"
All I really needed was a horse!
- All of these lines
you've had your whole life
waiting for this moment.
- And another thing!
- [Brennan] And another thing!
- Her name is Cinnamon!
And another thing, she's
more beautiful than you!
And another thing, she's more
mom than you could ever be!
- Ostentatia is embroidering
this all for you as you say it.
- All right.
- [Persephone] I am so into this.
- I'm gonna roll this
last saving throw here.
- [Aabria] Roll low, please.
- Cool.
- Great point.
[player gasps]
- I'm not gonna let you know what I rolled
until we resolve damage.
- [Rekha] Okay.
- [Persephone] You got
a lot of rolling to do.
- Okay, and I certainly know what it is.
- So here's all the damage
you're about to do, ready?
- [Rekha] Okay, tell me.
- You are going to roll 6d12s.
- Yes.
- [Erika] Holy sh*t.
- [Brennan] Plus 5d8.
- 6d12 plus 5d8.
- [Brennan] So we need 6d12, we need 5d8.
- [Erika] Whoa.
- Okay.
- Quick question,
did you roll a 19 on the die at one point?
- Yes.
- Isn't that a crit,
too because of your ax?
- Or no, the ax on a nat 20
you can subject the target,
it's the Ax of Sundering so on a nat 20
you can subject the target
to a con saving throw
to reduce their moment,
a con saving throw where
they become incapacitated.
- This is what you needed.
- Or a con saving throw
to destroy an object they are
holding, wielding, or wearing.
- Oh, oh, oh, destroy the palimpsest
with your Ax of Sundering.
- But what if there's someone in it?
She wouldn't try to put Tectonya in.
- [Becca] She was about
to take Tectonya in.
- She was about to try to trap Tectonya.
- So you don't have the thing
that lets you crit on a 19
or 20, I forget what it is.
- [Isabella] Isn't that a fighter thing?
- [Brennan] No, yeah.
- I don't think so.
- No, I don't think Katja
crits on a 19 or 20 so Rekha...
- [Rekha] So I got 6d12 right here.
- There's 6d12 and then
you're gonna roll 5d8
and then you're gonna add 24.
- Okay.
[tense instrumental music]
- [Aabria] Let's go!
- [Persephone] Rock this b*tch.
- Okay, eight plus eight
is 16, 16 plus 5, 21.
Oh, this one c*ck, this one c*ck.
Wow, I should just add this in my head.
- [Persephone] 38.
- 38 plus three, 41.
So those are my those and
are you writing that down?
Thank you so much.
- [Aabria] Yep, gotcha.
- Okay, eight plus six,
- [Becca] We're at 75.
- [Aabria] 75.
- 75 plus 24 is 99.
- 99 points of damage.
[players screaming]
- Yo!
- And another thing.
- And another thing!
- Amazing!
And another thing, you know what?
I would have given you 100 points,
but you're not perfect in any way.
And another thing, I
f*cking love my horse.
- All of you hear Katja,
venom dripping from her voice
barrel down, flying. [mimics ax impacting]
Your mom gets her Great
Sword up, clang, clang.
The first two attacks, boom,
each time your Great Ax
pushes past. [mimics impact landing]
On that second attack you reach out.
[die taps table]
I just rolled a three, I swear to God.
I'll take a f*cking photo of it.
It's a critical three.
- Believe you.
- The crystal palimpsest
[crystal cracking]
shatters in her hand.
[players cheering]
And it's literally, it's all,
she holds it to protect it
and you come around the
other side literally
using the Fly spell to create
your own leverage in midair.
[Isabella laughing]
'Cause you can just like,
boom, literally shrapnel from the crystal
scars into her face,
blinds her in one eye,
bam, she is knocked.
[players screaming]
- [Aabria] Let's go!
[Isabella laughing]
- That's the attack that sends
her to the f*cking ground.
And you go as as she's
trying to get to her knee,
you come up, hit her
with the flat of your ax
to get her up on her feet again.
- Oh God!
[impact resounds]
- To get her with 99 points of damage,
the bad news first.
her with eight hit points.
Which means that when she
fails her saving throw
against your pushing attack...
- She's...
[group laughing]
- So let me ask you, Katja,
do you send her over the edge or no?
- [Rekha] She sent me over the edge first.
- Boom.
[players screaming]
Go ahead, if you'd be so kind,
and roll me 10d6 falling damage.
- Oh my God, holy sh*t!
- She was never there!
You take that, b*tch!
- And another thing,
I feel bad you never rode a f*cking horse!
[group laughing]
- And you'll never get to!
- I know!
- Maybe then you'd have a soul!
- [Isabella] Watch her roll six ones
and she has two hit points.
- Or 10d6?
- [Brennan] 10d6, yes, absolutely.
- [Persephone] Oh my God.
- [Isabella] Oh, 10.
- Seven, eight, nine, 14.
[Isabella laughing]
- She can get there with
negative numbers. [laughs]
- 17, 18, 19, 20-
- Watch her roll four negative ones.
- What is this a six, a shield?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- 31.
- So you have dealt 130 points
of damage in a single turn.
- Oh my God!
- Your gestating vehicle.
- And your mom is completely
rocked, unprepared.
Looks sloppy and bad at fighting as you,
bang, boom, boom, just body, boom.
Finally you have to, with your own weapon,
knock her back up on her feet again
'cause she can't even stand up fast enough
in order for you to get
the blow that sends her.
And with a final sundering
her mask breaks. [gasps]
To go back in space over the
edge as she leaves the ground
and sails out of sight, hits
the floor three levels below.
Boom, with a sickening
crack, your mother lies dead
and defeated on the ground beneath you.
- I'm more of a horse
woman than you ever were.
[group laughing]
I don't know, I'm workshopping it.
- No, that's really good.
- That was...
[Rekha screams]
- Path of the horse girl!
- Cinnamon, I met Mom, she sucked!
- Path of the horse!
- When we were all going,
"k*ll your mother,"
I did not know it was going
to happen in one turn.
- 130 points of damage is
a record, including geese.
- [Aabria] That's psychotic.
- [Erika] Yeah.
- I sh**t a text to my dad.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- [Isabella] k*lled Mom.
- Saw Mom.
- That was truly an epic turn
from Katja Cleaver. [growls]
- [Aabria] That was amazing.
- [Becca] God, I don't want to go next.
- [Isabella] I feel crazy.
- [Persephone] Right, right.
- Jana Cleaver, more like Jana Cleaved.
- [Isabella] Like I cry and I laugh.
- I just keep trying to
come up with a one-liner.
- [Isabella] She just stands at the edge.
- Workshopping.
- You don't have to talk!
- No, it's just, I've been
imagining this for so long.
She's so mean.
- She's got a lot of adrenalin.
You gotta let her have this, you're good!
- I cannot believe this.
It's another legendary
action from the Jester.
- [Persephone] Ew.
- Who has an incredible
bonus to spell attack
and just straight up misses Ostentatia.
Just that 21 armor class just
[mimics wind whooshing] bing!
- And Ostentatia's just watching Katja
and doesn't even notice.
- Yeah, oh my God.
Did you just?
- A jewel on your necklace
just blings, bling bings.
- [Players] Bling bing!
- [Brennan] Yeah, bling bing.
- The decision was amore.
- Hey, and that's amore
- [Brennan] And hey g*ng,
check it out, that's amore.
- [Persephone] Oh my God.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- [Isabella] Oh my God.
- Okay, it's now the guests
and staff and then it's gonna
be bloppelgangers. [laughs]
- Did I, I didn't miss a turn, right?
- No.
- [Becca] You did something-
- 'Cause that was Katja's second turn?
- Yes.
- That was my second turn
total in this battle.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, Ostentatia,
I think the last thing you did,
you did Wall of Fire and
then the Jester went.
- I don't even know where I am.
Everybody forget about me.
- [Brennan] No, you're good.
- Forget me, forget me.
- [Aabria] How could we ever forget you?
- [Isabella] Do it.
- So TaleSpire-
- [Isabella] I don't
know, but figure it out.
- That's gonna be guests and staff.
Lysander's hiding in a suit of armor.
- [Becca] Oh, keep him safe.
- Michel is just gonna run right over here
and just hide in the corner.
- Should I animate
that suit of armor?
- [Rekha] 100%.
- [Becca] He would feel really cool.
- [Rekha] You should animate something.
There's big-a*s statues
all over the place here.
- I know, I know-
- Sean is going to attack
one of the bloppelgangers, he hits.
- Wait, Sean, one of the guards?
- [Brennan] Sean's one of the guards.
- Oh, our teenage guard that no one wants.
- Sean.
- I don't know, he's cute.
- Sean does eight points of damage
to the bloppelganger
right in front of him.
- That's like, nothing amount of damage.
Please do not bang Sean.
- Sean's a major hell no.
- Yeah.
[players laughing]
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- He like, Jell-O jiggled.
- You see that the Lady Coeliabranca
looks at swan Sam Nightingale and says,
"I am so sorry to, this is
such an honor in important way.
Can I get on your giant swan back?"
- In front of Katja?
- Honk!
Affirmative.
- You honk in the affirmative
and Lady Coeliabranca
just like, in a hoop skirt
is climbing on a giant swan,
just bloomers up in the air
like, "This is so bad!
This party is ruined!"
And jumps on there.
[players laughing]
You see that Michel
the Dragonborn is like,
"Lady Coeliabranca, if you have time,
please fly the swan this way!"
And that is the guests' turn.
Now it's gonna be bloppelgangers.
♪ Bloppelganger ♪
- These bloppelgangers are going to,
they cannot engulf giant
swan Sam Nightingale.
- That's right, too
big for you to swallow.
- Too big to swallow.
- Too big to fail.
- TaleSpire crew, we can
start moving bloppelgangers
that are farther away so the ones
that are not directly engaged right now.
- [Rekha] I feel crazy.
- Okay, we're gonna make some
saves for Zelda real quick
as three of them go for her.
[tense instrumental music]
[dice tapping table]
That's a successful save, so is that.
So is that, Zelda saves three times.
- [Aabria] Let's go!
- [Persephone] Crushing it.
- Dodges out of the way all of those times
and is actually going to
end up over here as a result
along with Penny getting
a little bit closer.
These ones over here are going
to just take swipes at Sam.
Sam, your armor class right now is 13.
- That is unchanged.
- That is unchanged.
Okay, that's going to be, Sam,
that is gonna be a hit for,
and you have resistance
to acid damage, right?
- Yes, do all of my stats still apply now
that I'm a large swan?
- No, Polymorph, I believe,
gives you fresh hit points, right?
- Yeah, and then when it drops
to zero, then you go back to-
- Okay, cool, so how many hit-
- [Becca] Whoa.
- So you will not have resistance now
because you're in this
altered form, right?
- Also, does being a large
swan versus a normal swan?
I need stats.
- Yeah, we're gonna just say, Erika,
do you have some stats for?
We're gonna say that you
have giant eagle stats.
- Okay, cool.
- [Brennan] You have giant eagle.
- [Persephone] Giant eagle.
- So much cuter.
- So much cuter.
Your giant eagle form
takes 11 acid damage.
- Okay.
- From the first attack.
- There is no actual giant swan.
- [Persephone] Giant eagle.
- [Brennan] Giant eagle.
You can do giant eagle stats.
- [Erika] Okay.
- Amazing.
- Okay, giant eagle's,
do you want to?
- [Brennan] There you go.
- Thank you.
- [Brennan] And how many
HP does giant eagle have?
- [Erika] 26.
- 26.
- 26, okay, so 11 and then another 11
so you take 22 damage in
your giant eagle form.
- Cool.
- Are still in that form,
but have gummed up the walkway
so they cannot get through.
Katja, a bunch are gonna come for you.
- Honk, honk, m*therf*cker, honk honk.
- Yeah, honk, honk, that's hilarious.
That's what Katja says.
- I was like, what, are you mocking me?
- Katja, a bunch rush you but
none are really close enough
to try to engulf you, but
they just stage themselves
for opportunity attacks should
you move away from them.
And then a bunch are gonna
come after Katja again.
Although let me ask a question here.
All those ones that
were coming after Katja
had to go through the wall
of fire so Ostentatia,
I'm gonna need you to roll double damage
for a Wall of Fire again.
- [Aabria] Let's go.
- Oh, great.
- [Brennan] I'm gonna need
you to roll double damage
for a wall.
- Is there anything there?
- Yeah, 'cause there were, you moved away
from all the bloppelgangers
that came after you.
They all have to go through,
and you've maintained concentration on it
so they all have to pass through
the wall to get after you
so we'll go ahead and
roll 10d8 fire damage.
[dice rattling]
- [Becca] I wanna try and do something.
- Not great, seven, six, 13.
- Oh God, I don't have anything.
I gotta hit him once or I quit.
- 31.
- 31, amazing.
- Just imagine Katja k*lling with the fire
in the back of her head.
- Let's see if we can hit any nat 20s.
We do not, 31 damage
to every bloppelganger
that went through the Wall of Fire.
[players cheering]
[players applauding]
- [Isabella] Thank you, thank you.
- How many bloppelgangers, I
just want that full number.
- They're ones that are coming after me?
- How many of them?
- Six of them went
through the fire, but that
means there's a bunch.
So TaleSpire crew, let
me know how many of those
are gonna drop, if any of those
are gonna drop down to zero as well.
- Are these the ones that came after me?
- Sorry, what's that?
- [Becca] No, they're-
- These are the different ones, okay.
- They're over by Ostentatia.
- The other ones, great.
- Once again, that was
dealt by her just now.
- Hell yeah.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- 186?
- Me?
- Yeah, 31 times six bad boys.
- Oh, total, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, let's give that.
- Hell yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- That's on tape, that's insane.
- Beware.
- That was Katja, okay.
- Who dis old lady?
Oh, that's the one that's on the swan.
- Who dis old lady?
- None are threatening.
Danielle moved to a level
with no bloppelgangers on it
so there are none threatening her.
Oh, five of the bloppelgangers
that come after you
through the wall incinerate
on contact with the wall.
- Hell yeah.
- Hell yeah.
- [Aabria] Let's go.
[Rekha claps]
- But they're still-
- Ostentatia cleaning house
over here.
- It's wild.
- Incredible, okay. [hums]
- Do the nobles get away?
- Oh yeah, do nobles care about us?
- Yes, the nobles all get away.
They all go, [yelps] hot!
And begin to sprint away from there.
And we're gonna down to
Antiope and see how things
are going with you before
we come back to Ostentatia.
- Cool, cool, cool,
cool, cool, tight, tight.
Well, those ones already moved.
You're double moving them.
- Oh, they did?
Sorry, okay, then I will, so no.
So Antiope, they are
just zeroing in on you.
They do not get to you.
You are safe from them,
incredible, [hums] amazing.
In that case none of those get to go
so we're just gonna resolve.
So Ostentatia is the only one
that we have to resolve still.
Ostentatia.
- [Isabella] Hm.
- I'm going to need some
dexterity saving throws from you.
Go ahead and give me three
dexterity saving throws.
- [Aabria] You go this.
- [Rekha] Come on.
- Five, 16, and 13.
- Okay.
One of them is going to engulf you again.
[mimics acid closing in]
Encircles you, attacks.
It's gonna be 6d6 acid damage.
Ostentatia, you take 12, 22,
you take 26 points of acid damage.
- Oof.
[energy powering down]
- Okay.
- How's Ostentatia looking right now?
- I have 10 hit points.
[players gasp]
- Oof.
[Persephone groans]
- And I have to bring...
- On the other side, hold on one second.
- Is this still on me?
- No, this is now,
Zelda tosses Penny
as a final bloppelganger closes in on her
and engulfs Zelda.
- [Becca] Zelly.
- [Isabella] No, no.
- [Becca] Friendship!
- Zelda is going to take 10, 21,
That is the bloppelgangers' turn.
Antiope, we return to your turn.
Kevin flies at you with the
little ski mask and spray paint
and goes [mimics spray paint
hissing] you can fly now!
Just think of, like f*cking,
think of thoughts that
bring the system down.
- [Aabria] Let's go!
[group laughing]
- And you feel a revolutionary power
lift you up off of your feet.
You can fly, you can fly, you can fly.
- Sweet, I would like
to go straight up then
'cause I can see Yelle with, yeah, okay.
So I want to try to be on the
other side and just distract.
Jester's so stressful, so
can I go, yeah, straight up
and then kind of over the landing
'cause I'm not an idiot and
I'm not gonna fall 60 feet
straight down if something bad happens.
- Yes.
- So throw me out
over that ledge a little bit
and then I can catch Jester at the top.
Can I just say, Charity,
and see if Jester reacts?
- You say "Charity," and you do not,
you see the Jester turns a little bit.
- [Persephone] Of course.
- Then say, hey b*tch,
and see if they respond.
- I quit the internship!
- Yeah.
- Do you follow that up with anything?
Do you say Charity or anything
else or just say the name.
- Oh, just the name
and once the mask turns
a little bit to me I am aiming
dead center in the mask.
[Rekha screams]
- Incredible.
- Yeah!
- Go ahead.
Go ahead and roll!
- I want to preemptively thwart.
- Oh, sh*t, and I didn't say sharpsh**ter.
I meant sharpsh**ter, I'm sorry please.
- [Brennan] sharpsh**ter, okay.
- [Aabria] Cool, thank you, just the one.
- [Brennan] sharpsh**ter, just add damage.
Yes, yes, yes, very good.
- All right.
[dramatic instrumental music]
Dirty 20 to hit
- Dirty okay, dirty 20 to hit.
We gotta roll last mirror image.
Can we get the Box of Doom out here?
- f*cking, another one!
- [Rekha] God!
- At least you have so many attacks.
- I don't, I burned my Action Surge.
- Oh.
- [Brennan] There you go.
- [Becca] It was worth it.
- Yep.
- [Persephone] Probably worth it.
- That was just-
- Roll a two, roll a two, roll a two.
- Imagine Dragons.
[players laughing]
Whoa, wait, that's a cool idea.
- [laughs] Write that down,
that's an amazing band.
- Wait, everyone write that down
- [Persephone] That was
like, really good, I'm sorry.
- [Rekha] What'd you
roll, what'd you roll?
- Okay, dirty, dirty 20
you said is your roll?
[snaps fingers] Shield. [mimics
energy shield deflecting]
You do hit the guy again,
but he throws the shield up and you miss.
- Every time, every time, every time.
All right, last one.
[sighs in exasperation]
- Just go full power.
- Yeah, full power.
No sharpsh**ter, I just need
to hit, this is so upsetting.
Okay, 23 to hit.
- 23 to hit.
I'm gonna roll mirror image.
If it's an 11 or higher it's a duplicate.
It's his final duplicate.
If it's 10 or lower
then you hit the person.
Final duplicate, gone.
- Kevin takes off?
- Yes, Kevin takes off.
All of the Kevins that
are maintaining flight
have flown, used their last
to get straight up out
of bloppelganger range.
Any bonus actions from Antiope?
- Bonus action I'm gonna Second Wind
and get back 16 hit points
and then just land and go,
"I'm going to f*cking k*ll you!"
- [laughs] Amazing.
You land, you are standing
on the dais near Michel Parnassus.
Sam, you are no longer engulfed.
You are inside a giant, beautiful swan
with the Lady Coeliabranca riding on you.
- Honk honk.
- Okay.
- I love...
- Sam, it is your turn.
- Okey dokey.
Can I have someone move
my swan to the bridge
where everyone with the Jester is?
- What is the speed?
What is your giant eagle speed?
- 80 feet flying.
- Amazing, so 80 feet gets you
from here, oh, you can go
f*cking anywhere you want.
You can go anywhere you want.
- [Persephone] Cool.
- Do you want to plop right
in the middle of that Dais?
- I want to plop right next to Ostentatia.
- You, beautiful swan, takes off.
Lady Coeliabranca goes, [laughs
joyfully] "We are flying!
This is a very stressful
night, but this is quite nice!"
- I want to come to the ground
and then I want Kevin to drop the spell.
- [snaps fingers] Sam Nightingale returns.
- Ah!
- And we can go ahead and
get rid of the Dunston.
I think at this point Dunston is done.
Sam Nightingale, and the Lady Coeliabranca
are both on that far dais.
You have an action left,
or action and bonus action.
- I have an action and bonus action.
First, for my action, I'm
going to point at the Jester
and I have been swallowed
by a g*dd*mn booger,
I've been turned into a f*cking bird.
There's someone here
trying to k*ll my friends
who k*lled the object or the thing,
the person that we're trying to rescue,
and I am just filled with
pure, seething hatred.
And I pull deep, deep into that.
And instead of water
coming out of her hands,
this bolt of dark blue energy
that has this aura of death
comes out right at the Jester,
two of them from both hands.
I cast Eldritch Blast.
- Amazing, Eldritch Blast.
Go ahead and roll your,
you have two attack rolls.
Roll them both.
- Okay.
Don't worry, I haven't forgot about you.
- [Aabria] If it weren't for
this stupid mirror images.
- [Rekha] I know, our friendship
is that you're perfect.
- Okay, the first one is a...
- 23 to hit absolutely hits.
- Okay, and then the
second one is a 19 to hit.
- [Aabria] Oh cool, it's so
easy to hit this guy, awesome.
- [Persephone] 19 to hit.
- Love that, love this.
- [Brennan] What's that?
- [Persephone] 19 to hit.
- 19 misses.
- Okay, so one Eldritch Blast.
- One Eldritch Blast, go
ahead and roll damage.
- Okay, I also, can I aim
to knock the mask off?
- [Rekha] Yes!
- It's a force attack.
- Yeah, you can aim to knock the mask off.
I'm gonna say you have to
hit max damage on the die
and that'll knock the mask off.
- Okay, that's kind of you.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- Okay, yeah.
- We'll leave it up to the dice.
- Nine.
- Oh, brutal.
- [Rekha] f*ck, no!
- However, however, however,
for the very first time [snaps fingers]
that Jester takes nine points of damage.
The final mirror image is gone.
You are hitting, there
is no more illusion left
to protect this Jester.
Look at that creepy as*h*le.
And I believe Eldritch Blast
is force damage, right?
- Yes.
- So no resistances
to this whatsoever, this
is going to be our first,
no, I'm not gonna do Box of Doom
because there's a very
high likelihood that,
'cause this is only a DC
however, you are forcing the Jester
to make a concentration
check on the spell.
- Oh, come on.
- Animating all of the bloppelgangers.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
- [Persephone] Let's go.
- The Jester saves. [grunts]
But you see a flicker
of that powerful spell
animating all of these
powerful enemies, bonus action.
- Bonus action Quicken Spell Thunder Step.
I want to reach into the
blob, grab Ostentatia's hand,
and then f*cking bolt out of there.
I also want to use another point for
Transmutation Spell? Transmuted Spell
and change it to fire.
- [Becca] Hell yeah.
- [Aabria] Let's go!
- We are going to fully allow
two uses of Metamagic in this moment.
We're homebrewing it.
- Well, it doesn't say
that I can't, does it?
- Metamagic normally only allows one,
but this is rad and you
were trapped in a booger
so we're gonna roll with it.
- Yeah, I was trapped in a f*cking booger!
- That sometimes happens.
- Incredible!
What a way to get Ostentatia out of there!
So you watch pure
entropy, like a screaming,
whistling bolt of pure death
hits the Jester in the chest.
And completely effortlessly Sam calls
on extremely powerful
magic as a bonus action.
You reach into the ooze.
You grab Ostentatia, and
I believe Thunder Step-
- Come on girl, you're coming with me.
- Get in, there's a world of shopping.
- Also is going to deal a bunch of,
you're gonna Transmute this.
If you have the sorcery points for it.
- [Persephone] I do.
- Hell yeah.
Go ahead and roll fire damage.
What's the radius on Thunder Step?
- 10 feet.
- Oh my God, hell yes.
- Okay, that's 3d10 con
save or they take half.
- Mm-hmm, I'm gonna say
the Lady Coeliabranca
sees the writing on the
wall and goes, "Oh sh*t!"
And dives out of the way.
- Yeah, hoop skirt!
- Gets the f*ck out of there.
- She rolls on their hoop
skirt just out of there.
- I am getting another job!
Incredible.
[players laughing]
And you can absolutely go ahead
and roll double damage here
so roll double damage dice.
- Okay, oh, so six?
- [Brennan] Yes.
- Okay.
I'll just have to roll these twice.
- [Brennan] Cool, cool.
- Okay, that's 23 damage.
- 23 damage.
Incredible, hold on one second.
We're gonna roll, these are
constitution saving throws.
- [Persephone] Mm-hmm.
- Hold on one second.
Let's see how these blopples do.
- [Becca] Come on.
[dramatic instrumental music]
[dice rattling]
- All of the bloppelgangers fail.
They each take 23 points of damage.
TaleSpire crew, you let me know
how those bloppelgangers are looking.
- Feels dead.
- They feel dead emotionally.
- [Aabria] They feel dead.
- They're burnt.
- Oh, and I get to take
us up to 90 feet away
so I want to get as close to Danielle
and Tectonya as possible
on the first floor.
- Boom, in an expl*si*n of
fire, Sam and Ostentatia vanish
and reappear right next
to Danielle Barkstock
on the lower level.
[player gasping]
- [Aabria] Let's go!
- [Brennan] Incredible move, Sam.
[players cheering]
- [Becca] Nailed it, crushed.
- [Brennan] Nailed it.
- My girl!
- [cheers] And all of you have the power
of flight right now.
We have pixies holding concentration.
We have a potion for Danielle,
and we have winged boots for Sam.
So you're all down on the
lower level, astounding.
Astounding, astounding,
what a f*cking turn.
- Thank you for letting
me use two in those.
- I f*cking love it.
No, a move that cool, and you know what?
You're spending the sorcery points for it.
Penny Luckstone, that is your turn.
- Who, me?
I've been here the whole time,
[players laughing]
sneaking around.
Okay, here's what Penny would like to do.
She is going to fly.
My speed is 60 feet flying?
- Uh-huh.
- Oh gosh, so that's 12 tiles.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- Okay, so I want to just
go over the whole dais
from one bridge to the other
and find a place on the balustrade
where there is an object
that I can hide behind
with my Cunning Action
right behind the Jester.
[Rekha shouts]
- Hell yeah.
- [Aabria] Yes.
- [Erika] Yeah.
- Go ahead and give me a stealth check.
- Oh, okay, [clears throat] yes.
- [Aabria] Wait, isn't that...
- Eight plus 14 is 22?
- [Isabella] Becca found it.
- 22-
- Hold on, hold on
Is that right, yes.
- Eight plus 14 is 22.
that is your bonus.
You used your bonus action to hide.
You used your movement,
you have your action left.
- I will use the fact that I
am hiding to Magical Ambush
[Brennan gasps]
this freaking Jester
and cast Hold Person.
- [Aabria] Let's go!
- They have disadvantage
on the wisdom saving throw
and then they will be
paralyzed for the duration
which requires my concentration.
- [Brennan] Oh my God.
- [Aabria] Let's go!
- [Persephone] Yes, let's do it.
♪ That's Jester flop, Jester flop ♪
- Not only has this Jester
already used their reaction
to cast Shield meaning that
they cannot Counterspell this,
also you have to see the person
that's casting a spell to Counterspell
and you are hiding at this moment.
- Society of Shadows, eat your heart out!
- The what, the what, what did you...
- What did you say?
- I said, uh, uh, turning
off my friendship bracelet.
- You can't turn it off,
friendship's forever.
- Yeah, sorry.
- Incredible.
- You keep talking about it. [laughs]
- Incredible, incredible.
I'm gonna need Box of Doom again.
- Let's go.
- Hold Person, right?
- Hold Person, wisdom saving
throw with disadvantage.
- Incredible.
- You got this.
- [Brennan] Wisdom saving
throw, disadvantage.
- [Isabella] I'm f*cking wiped, man.
- This is all I can do.
[Isabella signs]
- [Aabria] It's gonna be a-
- [Persephone] I hope-
- It took several combats
but I figured out, we'll see.
- It's gonna work.
- [Persephone] It's gonna work.
- [Aabria] Box of Doom, do not.
- Box of Doom, this b*tch.
- [Aabria] Just be good.
- [Becca] Nat one, nat one.
- And now, I'm not gonna lie.
- [Becca] Nat one, nat one, nat one.
- This Jester has a +8
wisdom, your DC is 15.
That means on a seven or higher
they successfully save against
this Hold Person spell.
- Disadvantage though.
- Disadvantage.
One of these two needs
to be a six or lower.
- Can y'all do this for this?
Nat one, nat one.
- The lower of the two
dice is exactly a seven
which is a success.
- Oh.
- No!
- Incredible, incredible move.
The Jester whips around.
- Oh, it woulda been so cool...
- To see Penny there.
- You don't see me!
- You have revealed yourself.
Actually, have you revealed yourself?
- The Society of Shadows.
- She was hiding.
- [Players] The what?
[group laughing]
- I'm gonna say-
- You see a flaming brazier.
- Brassiere?
- A brazier!
- Is your bra on fire?
- A bra?
- Brazier.
- You would know!
- Is this a brappleganger?
- It's a real word!
- I'm gonna say that the Jester,
I'm gonna allow the Jester to make,
oh, it's a sleight of hand.
Go ahead and make a sleight
of hand check for me.
[Becca hyperventilating]
[die taps table]
- Should I burn a luck?
- [Persephone] Yes!
- [Aabria] Yeah!
- [Isabella] Yes!
- 100%.
- Are you kidding me?
- You're gonna get hit with
a Fire Bolt legendary action.
- Are you kidding me?
- 21.
- [Persephone] Oh, thank God.
- 21, the Jester whips around knowing
that somebody somewhere just
cast a Hold Person on them
and they cannot see where
or how that happened.
- How's that feel, how's that taste, huh?
[Brennan laughs creepily]
- Ew, what?
- You're not funny!
- What, do you really do that?
- Hey, you're not f*cking funny.
- [Isabella] Yeah, dumb-a*s.
- You piece of sh*t!
- Being funny isn't just doing pranks.
You actually have
thoughts and like, takes.
[group laughing]
- Hey, and from that workshop you ran
I learned you gotta punch up.
- Yep, punching up works.
You can't punch down.
I'm so glad you took my workshop.
- Well, it's just really changed the-
- Katja's giving comedy workshops.
- It's changed the way
that I listen, you know?
- Hello, call me Miss Cleaver.
- Call me Miss Cinnamon.
- Call me Miss Cinnamon 'cause I...
- Cinnamon was teaching it.
- [Brennan] Antiope.
- [Aabria] Yeah.
- The Jester sees you.
- [Rekha] The student
has become the horse.
- [Aabria] All right, let's go.
- Hits you with a Fire Bolt.
- Who did?
- The Jester.
- Just getting absolutely
sh*t wrecked by a cantrip.
It's fine, this is fine, I'm fine.
- 16, 21, 29 points of damage to Antiope.
- [Rekha] Oh my God.
- [Persephone] Please tell
me Antiope's still up.
- I'm still up.
- [Becca] We gotta
protect our dying friends.
- Can I use your eraser?
- f*ck dis.
- I'm sorry, thank you.
- I wonder what her
death saves are gonna be.
Bad.
- I am going to need...
- Do you want her to die forever?
- [Brennan] Um, hold on...
- Who?
- I've never thought about it.
- The Polymorph Kevin,
can Polymorph Kevin have moved away?
- Can Polymorph Kevin move away?
- [Erika] Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
Polymorph Kevin moves away, no worries.
So here's the problem.
- Problem...
- Speaking of magical ambush.
[players groaning]
- Disadvantage.
- [Isabella] I'm so tired, Brennan.
[group laughing]
- [Becca] What do you know about it?
- I just feel crazy.
- [Persephone] What is it?
- [Aabria] Do it.
- If you are hidden when you cast a spell,
has disadvantage on saving throws.
[ominous instrumental music]
What else is there to know?
You're holding a lot of dice!
- Stop it, hey, stop it!
- [Aabria] This is so mean!
- Are you rolling all the
dice just to f*ck with us?
- Hey, whatever you're
doing, stop it right now.
- My whole body hurts, like,
[sighs] my migraine moved into my soul.
- [Isabella] You have a
migraine, do you need medicine?
- I'm fine, I'm fine.
- I have spray.
- [Brennan] Antiope.
- [Aabria] Yeah.
- You land on the dais.
You see Penny do this magical ambush.
- [Aabria] Yeah...
- And speaking of
magical ambush, you hear-
- Uh-oh.
We're looking straight at saddleshoes.
- And you hear, "I'm sorry,
did you say my name?"
And feel a knife plunge into your back.
- [Becca] [gasps] No!
[knife slices]
- For 30 points of damage.
- I'm down.
[players screaming]
- Oh no, b*tch.
- Putting a hand around your throat
to bring you to the
ground is Charity Blythe
who you can now see right there.
- What the f*ck, no!
- [Brennan] Coming out of invisibility.
- [Isabella] Where's Antiope?
- [Brennan] Antiope's on the main dais.
- When did the Jester, how did the Jester?
- The Jester's not Charity!
- Not Charity.
- It's not the Jester.
- I'm staring at the Jester.
I got stabbed by Charity behind me.
Hold on, is there anything I can do
because I can't be surprised.
- f*ck.
- [Persephone] Oh yeah, that's right.
- I can't be surprised
by something I can't see.
[players laugh mockingly]
- Oh my God!
[players screaming]
[players cheering]
- Hey, hey, hey, you know
who can be surprised?
Brennan. [laughs]
- [Persephone] Brennan.
- Okay.
- [Isabella] Nasty little man.
- You nasty little man!
- Public defender Aabria Iyengar
advocating on her own behalf.
Let's bring the Box of Doom out.
I did roll that attack
with advantage from hiding
which invalidates both rolls.
- [Aabria] Yep.
- So we are gonna need to go
back in and do this again.
- Box of Doom, I swear to God, I know you!
- I know you!
- I f*cking know you so much!
- She does not look good
in that fight with her.
- Do we see this?
- I know where you f*cking
live and I don't love you!
- We've been through some sh*t together.
- The damage total is
gonna remain the same.
The damage total is gonna remain the same.
- [Aabria] Yeah.
- Antiope, you have an armor class of 18.
- 100% gone.
- We're about to roll this.
- [Aabria] My God, you guys.
- [Brennan] I'm gonna
let the audience at home
know what Charity-
- Oh my God.
- I'm so stressed.
- Hey, the audience at home
can eat my a*s!
[players laughing]
- You're all eating an a*s tonight!
- [Brennan] Here's what
Charity adds to the roll
so we know that Antiope's
armor class is 18.
[Aabria moaning]
- You're evil, b*tch.
- Your newfound alertness lets you know
at the very last moment.
- Yes!
- That it is too late to move.
- No!
[players screaming]
- Oh, I see what you did
- 17 on the reroll on the die.
- Yep.
- However...
- [Becca] Everyone's down.
- However, wait a minute,
wait a minute, wait a minute.
- [Isabella] Call the Jones's.
- Sorry,
I do have to reroll damage,
keep the Box of Doom going,
'cause she's not gonna add sneak attack
because she doesn't roll with advantage.
- That's right.
- Yeah.
- So this-
- Is she a rogue?
- What is she holding, a Gumby?
- You're gonna take the
knife out, still standing.
- Wait, she's a rogue,
can she Counterspell me?
- You're gonna turn it around
and you're gonna put it in her freaking...
- I'm gonna do it.
- You're gonna put it in her a*s.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- Brennan, if you don't make
I'm going to f*cking k*ll her.
- What is she holding, a knife?
- [Persephone] We don't know yet.
- We don't know yet.
- That's a knife?
- You're so unimpressed.
You're like look at my savage
ax, what the f*ck is that?
- You call that a weapon?
- Is that nail clippers?
- It looks like Gumby.
- Are you coming for my-
- Wait, wait.
- Sorry.
- This is important, Doom!
- I'm nervous!
- This is going to be...
- I'm gonna have a f*cking, in your-
[group laughing]
- [Becca] Breathe
everybody. [exhales softly]
- [Brennan] This plus five.
- [Becca] Curses.
- Okay, 21 points of damage to Antiope.
- Still up.
[players gasping]
- Yes!
- [Brennan] Are you for real?
- Yep.
- Yes!
- Oh my God.
- [Becca] Queen.
- Okay.
- Dumb b*tch.
- I think these must be luck fingers.
- I am going to need, very quickly,
incredible that you are still up.
Give me a perception
check if you'd be so kind.
- To see what kind of knife it is?
- To see like where her outfit's from.
- 25.
- [Brennan] Okay, incredible.
- Jester might be Preston.
- The Jester might be Preston!
- No!
- The Preston might be Jester!
- Jester might be Preston,
bright dark red, go!
- Okay, all right, moving
right along that's Charity.
♪ Moving right along ♪
- Wait, wait,
what was that perception check?
- 25 perception.
- [Aabria] 25?
- [Becca] What does she perceive?
- You don't see anything.
- Is it a mirror image, is it not her?
I don't understand this world.
- You don't see anything.
- Is she a dooplerganger?
- [Isabella] Dooplerganger?
- Dooplerganger?
- It's a tripleganger.
- Is she a tropleganger?
- Tropleganger.
- What is your HP right now?
- [Aabria] Eight.
- Eight, oh my God!
I cannot, alert did just save your life.
- Yeah!
- Alert that ability
absolutely just saved your life
to prevent that sneak attack damage.
- [Becca] Uh-huh.
- Oh God.
- [Brennan] Whew!
- Oh, thank you!
- Well done.
- I'm done, I did it.
- You're a genius, you're
perfect, you're perfect,
you're perfect, you're perfect.
- [Brennan] You're
perfect, you're perfect,
you're perfect, you're perfect.
- I remember both worlds!
- [Becca] Oh God!
- That, we're moving down the line.
Okay, Ostentatia, that's you.
- Revivify!
[players cheering]
- Ooh baby, hell yes, here we go.
- Oh, 'cause Sam carried you.
- We plantstrorted.
- You take a gem in your hand.
- [Becca] Look at those
friends hanging out.
- [Rekha] Yeah, they look
like they're having fun.
- [Becca] Yeah!
- You take your gem from your hand.
Ostentatia, what does it
look like as you reach,
Revivify is not, the soul has
not yet left the mortal plane,
but you are still bringing
someone back from the dead.
What does it look like as you do this?
- I'm sort of like, as a
Cleric of the Forge, like,
restoring the
damage to this piece.
- I love it, and this metallic
woman, this copper woman.
You reach out, her body begins to glow.
- [Aabria] Oh my God.
- [Becca] I just want
to remember her outfit.
- With a brazen red light, a beautiful.
[fans flap open]
- [Aabria] Let's go.
- And as you see Ostentatia
crushing the gem in her hands,
the palms of Ostentatia's hands
are brighter than the surface of the Sun.
- [Erika] [gasps] My God!
- And her outfit slaps!
- Yeah!
- You are glowing!
- Stop!
- [Rekha] You are glowing!
- Stop.
- Incredible, as this happens-
- [Persephone] So beautiful.
- Ostentatia, you hear
this powerful ringing chorus
of voices and hear a voice from beyond.
A voice you have never heard before.
[Becca cheers]
- Shut up!
- Say, "There are no things in this world
that are so broken that
they cannot be mended."
- Papa Gino?
- Hooah, and Tectonya. [gasps]
- Oh my God.
- Comes back to life with
a single hit point looks up
and says, [gasps] goes...
- Hey, b*tch.
[players laughing]
- Hello, b*tch.
- Can I get my GED?
[group laughing]
And may I-
- [Becca] Get my...
- No, nevermind, I can't
bonus action with a spell.
- Incredible.
- [Persephone] No, you're great.
- Ostentatia, you have brought
Tectonya back from the dead.
[players cheering]
Amazing, amazing.
- Izzy, was that your Dwarf God talking?
- I think it was Logran.
- [Becca] Logran spoke to you.
- Or Al Pacino
- Oh my God, I hope it was Al Pacino!
- So can we be on our-
- So completely Izzy.
- [Becca] That's so cool!
- Ozzy!
- That is now going to be, Ostentatia,
any bonus actions from you or all good?
- I wish I could do Mass Healing Word.
- But you've cast a, pretty
f*cking dope spell, gotta say.
- Are there any enemies nearby?
- No, you guys got to safety basically
to get Tectonya back.
- Okay.
- [Rekha] [chuckles] Okay.
- Can we like, fly even
further away or something?
- Yeah, if you want to.
- Wait, where's Jester?
- [Becca] You can fly on back and heal us-
- Jester's on the level above you.
- Okay, can I see him?
- No, not from where you are.
You could fly out to see him.
- Yeah, could I go somewhere
where I can see him?
- Yes, you can.
- Okay, cool.
- So you're gonna fly out and up to get,
you fly 60 feet out and
up to get eyes on Jester.
- We should k*ll Charity, too.
- [Isabella] Oh yeah.
- For sure.
- [Brennan] Amazing.
- She should die like your mom.
- My mom's dead...
- [Aabria] Oh God.
- Oh sorry, was I not
supposed to say that?
- [Isabella] Can I see Charity, too?
- [Brennan] Hm?
- Can I see Charity, too?
- You can see Charity.
You can see Charity and Jester both.
- She might trip on my
blood at this point.
- [Isabella] Okay, cool.
- It's just a Slip 'N Slide.
- Right, roll for dex.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- Roll for dex, trip on my blood.
- Guys, I don't have to go that high,
I don't want to get hurt.
- Yeah, you're not looking good.
- [Rekha] Yeah, you're very low.
- Oh no, I'm not doing well.
- I feel like you should,
yeah, take care of yourself
'cause we need a cleric.
- Yeah, you have 10 HP.
- I can't freaking do more
than one spell in a turn.
- What?
- The only cantrip I have
is Spare the Dying.
- Oh.
- We have to be at zero.
- Yeah.
- Punch yourself.
- Hey, I just want,
as you think about Spare
the Dying I just like, wave.
I'm having a very bad day.
- Oh, I can see you.
- Cool, thanks.
- The Jester Dimension Doors
on its turn to the lower level
facing Sam, Danielle, and Tectonya.
- [Isabella] Oh, it's an it now.
- [Persephone] No!
- That's like, Counterspell.
- I go back, I go back!
- Can I, can you
Counterspell Dimension Door?
- Yeah, if you can see it.
- I did see it happen.
- You see it ending, you don't
see it being cast, so sorry.
- [Rekha] He looks like sh*t.
- [Becca] Dang it.
- That's the Jester's turn, however,
immediately after the Jester-
- Hold on.
[Rekha gasps]
How close am I,
and is that attack of opportunity?
I was right behind the Jester
on the balustrade but like...
- Do you feel like you
were within five feet?
Oh, but it wouldn't, it's
not movement, it's a spell
so it wouldn't trigger any-
- Oh, right, right, right,
right, right, right, right, right.
- However, Tectonya, one of the benefits
of having fully died is she's
no longer incapacitated.
So Tectonya-
- I want to see what this b*tch can do.
- [Persephone] Yeah, me too, yeah.
- Why were they so
worried about you, my guy?
- My guy. [chuckles]
- My guy.
- [Persephone] I hope
she can heal herself.
- She's out here looking
a Dora f*cking Milaje.
Yibambe, do something!
[players laughing]
- Tectonya looks at the
Jester appearing and goes,
"Oh, no, no, quite enough of you,"
and holds up her hands and boom you see-
- Oh.
- Space fold in
around the Jester as she creates
a 10-foot radius hemisphere
of force around him.
Jester's gonna pop off with a Counterspell
and Tectonya is gonna go to
counter his Counterspell.
[Becca laughing]
- Oh my, this is like...
- Some sh*t is popping off.
- [Isabella] Maybe this is hot.
- Okay, first we're gonna roll
for Tectonya's Counterspell.
- If Tectonya fails, I
throw up a Counterspell.
- [Brennan] Okay, amazing.
- Chain of Counterspell.
- Let's see if Tectonya fails first.
Okay, on a 10 or higher,
Tectonya's gonna successfully
dispel this Counterspell.
[dramatic instrumental music]
[die taps table]
That's a natural one on Tectonya's-
- I am going to do this!
- [Brennan] Okay, okay.
- [Aabria] Whoa!
- 10 or higher on the d20.
- 15!
- Yeah!
- [Players] Yeah!
[players clapping]
- Eat it, Jester, suck it!
- So you see Tectonya's
focusing on some big magic,
sees the Jester going for a Counterspell.
She counters, her counter doesn't fail.
Your counter comes, bam!
And a wave of water smashes
the magic out of Jester's hands
and he is trapped in a wall
of force, a sphere of force.
- Yes!
[players gasp in relief]
- [Becca] Katja, go wail on her.
- Tectonya goes, [sighs]
"Thank you darling, that was lovely."
- No, thank you, thank you.
- And that is the Jester's turn.
Oh sorry, that's Tectonya's turn.
Danielle, that's you.
- Danielle flies up to behind Charity.
[intense instrumental music]
- [Brennan] Let me know if you
got the movement to do that.
- 60?
- 60.
So I don't know if you can
get directly behind in 60.
- Well, not directly behind, but 30.
I want to go 30 to behind her and...
- [Becca] That's tricky.
- [Aabria] It's tricky, tricky, tricky.
- [Becca] Do you go above or below?
- [Erika] What is happening
with the blobs with the?
- Blobs are still going and attacking.
You know that the Jester
has concentration on those.
- Wait, does he need to
make a concentration check
after being in that sphere
or has the attack damage not happened yet?
- He hasn't taken damage.
He's trapped in that sphere right now,
but the bloppelgangers are still going.
Charity is still up there.
What would you like to do, Danielle?
- Well, first of all, the Polymorph Kevin
that no longer has Polymorph,
I would like that Kevin
to use Phantasmal Force.
- [Brennan] On Charity?
- Charity, no, no, no, no!
It's going to use...
[tense instrumental music]
It's going to use Polymorph on Antiope.
- Yo.
- [Persephone] Yo.
- Oh my God.
- Yeah, get hit points.
Get those hit points!
- Oh wait, how many times can
this pixie cast Polymorph?
- Oh, sh**t, only once per day.
- [Brennan] Only once per day.
- No, get another pixie!
- My Kevin hasn't cast Polymorph.
- [Erika] Okay, I'm going to have-
- Wait, has her Kevin cast Polymorph?
- My Kevin hasn't cast Polymorph.
- That's true.
- [Becca] And you're landed.
- It's a 60-foot range on
Polymorph so there's a Kevin
in the air who could throw
a Polymorph for sure.
- [Rekha] That's fine,
there's a Kevin in the air.
There's always a Kevin in the air.
- There's always a Kevin.
- [Rekha] Kevin can wait.
- [Isabella] There's a Kevin in the air.
- [Becca] They will save us.
- Because I know
that they have to maintain
concentration for someone's Fly.
- So someone's gonna have to lose Fly.
- I don't want fly anymore.
- [Rekha] So yeah.
- So you lose Fly, Antiope loses Fly
and her Kevin comes up
and casts Polymorph.
"Oh, got your back."
- [gasps] Does this mean
you get to turn into an animal?
- This is pretty shitty, wild.
- Yes, the biggest-
- Oh my God, if she turns into a...
[gasps] You gotta, you gotta.
- [Isabella] This is bird.
- Brennan, now, you can house
rule that I can't do this
or we can nerf the stats...
But I want that Kevin to
Polymorph her into a dragon.
[Becca gasps]
[players clapping]
- [Brennan] Cool, you got it.
- Vibes.
- She's her own favored enemy.
This is aversion therapy.
This is aversion therapy.
- Aversion therapy.
- It's good for you.
- I turn the bow on myself!
- Something happened with me
with needles, I had to
turn myself into a needle.
- Oh, I remember it, yeah.
Danielle told me about it.
You know what would be funny?
[players laughing]
And Antiope is replaced by
a massive, scaly dragon.
- Horse!
- [laughs] I know!
- I just dragon smile
and look down at Charity.
[group cheering]
Dragon smile.
- And then Danielle reaches
out and casts Blight.
- Incredible, casts Blight, amazing.
- It's a constitution saving.
- I'm going to scream.
- What does that do?
- That is a failure.
Roll damage.
[players cheering]
- Look at that dragon,
look at that dragon!
- Oh my God!
- [Persephone] Oh my God.
- Hot, hot, ouchie, ouchie.
- I'm super cute.
- [Persephone] It's hot dragon time.
- [Erika] Three more d8s.
- I would make a Dragonborn with me.
- [Becca] Oh gosh.
- Thank you.
- [Aabria] Actually very horrifying.
- Um, did you mean a half dragon. [snorts]
- I feel very cute.
- [Persephone] Sorry.
- 44.
- 44 points of damage.
- Yo.
- Charity looks injured just,
[gasps] right away as that happens-
- [Isabella] b*tch,
what are you doing here?
- You don't even go here.
- Don't you have a job or something?
- Shouldn't you be at your desk?
- You should definitely
start moisturizing.
- Yeah!
- Oh my God.
- A gaunt looking, very severe woman
is even further dried out by this spell
and she goes, "Ugh, my regimen."
- Danielle, you can't talk
about white women's skin!
- I like that.
[players laughing]
Can I just say retinol in Draconic?
[group laughing]
Hyaluronic acid, b*tch!
[players laughing]
- She's like, "I wash my face
with Irish Spring every morning."
- It keeps me young!
[players laughing]
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- I got three words for you, S-P-F.
- [Players] Ooh!
- [Persephone] [laughs]
The dragon's booing.
- Amazing.
[Aabria laughs]
You see that the Jester does
some kind of area of effect
thing that looks scary
but it doesn't reach Sam
- Does it hit him?
- So it's just like [shouts]
this weird radiating shadow.
It's like, he's trapped in a bubble.
- Oh, you can't reach me?
So sad.
- Come on, let me out, please.
- Meow.
- Are you the Jester
or are you a mime, you're
not a f*cking thing in there.
- Zelda busts the f*ck
out of the bloppelganger
that she is trapped in.
- [Aabria] Let's go.
- Badda boom, badda bam.
And she is going to...
[heroic instrumental music]
Zelda is going to move towards Charity.
She's gonna move towards Charity.
She is going to bonus action.
Oh no, she took damage
so she's still in rage.
She's gonna bonus action
dash and then yeah,
she'll close with Charity
and she is going to,
yeah, so Zelda's gonna bust
out and close with Charity
and she's gonna action
surge and attack four times.
- Yeah!
- Oh!
- Let's go.
- Leave one hit point for the dragon.
- Oh my God, thanks.
[laughs] I need this.
- She can chew on the
corpse. [mimics gnawing]
- [Aabria] It's been a day.
- You never wanted me to intern.
- Zelda deals 18 points of damage
to Charity chopping and chopping.
Katja, that's gonna be your turn.
- [Rekha] Okay.
- Uh-oh, Charity's booked.
- I know.
I'm like, should I go over to Charity
and beat the sh*t out of her?
The Jester's in a bubble.
- He's kinda far from you.
- Yeah, I'll go over to Charity
and also try to beat her.
- [Aabria] Yeah, wail on her, let's go.
- [Rekha] Yeah, so I'm
gonna fly over to Charity
and attack her.
- [Aabria] She's so rude.
- Hell yeah, go ahead and
give me two attack rolls.
- She was a very understanding
boss for what it's worth.
- But listen, I'm telling you,
any boss would accept
diarrhea as an answer.
It's not just her, Antiope.
- I mean, it was like for a week.
- I think she stopped
being an understanding boss
when she stabbed you.
- Okay, one of these was a nat one.
- Oh no!
- [Brennan] Okay, copy that.
- The other one is a dirty 20.
- Wait.
- Yes?
- How far are you, are
you within 30 feet of me?
- Am I?
I don't know.
- I don't think I've used my reaction.
- Okay, I don't know
if I'm within 30 feet.
- Let's see here.
- Maybe not.
Well, are you moving?
- [Brennan] I think maybe you are.
Let me just double check
here, if you're here...
- [Becca] Yeah, I'm
pretty close to Charity.
- Yeah, you can use that if you want.
You want to use your Bountiful Luck?
- Bountiful Luck.
- [Brennan] Roll your attack again, Katja.
- Thank you so much!
- I believe in you!
Good job k*lling your mom!
- Thank you so, I did what?
[players laughing]
This is c*ck, okay.
Okay, 21.
- 21, amazing.
So you rolled a dirty 20 and a 21?
- [Rekha] Yeah.
- Charity casts shield
and you miss twice.
- I turn and I'm like,
"They do that."
[players laughing]
- [Brennan] Casts Shield.
- How do you get, how
do you f*ck up Shield?
- You have the most beautiful
voice I've ever seen.
[players laughing]
- Why is Shield allowed?
- I just break into tears.
- You see that legendary action...
- Does shield only work for spells?
Oh, no, you hit her.
- Yeah, it just-
- And do I get a bonus
action, can I Second Wind?
- [Isabella] So it's their AC?
- Yes, you want to Second Wind?
Have you already Second Winded?
No, you haven't.
- No, I have not.
- Yeah, go for it.
- And it happens
on the triggering attack...
- Okay 1d10 plus nine.
That's a d10, eight plus nine is 17.
- How do you get past it?
- [Brennan] Okay.
- [Persephone] That's only
gonna last a round though.
- 79 is too low. [laughs]
- Listen, I'm trying
to be a tank for y'all.
- [Isabella] Second Wind
is a cantrip or a spell?
- It's a spell, it's first level.
- Is it till their first?
I think Shield stays up until they're-
- It stays for the round
till your next turn.
- Yeah.
- And the end of your round.
- [Brennan] Oh, okay.
- I know this because I have it
but I keep forgetting to cast it.
- Yeah.
- Okay, what is your current
armor class, Antiope?
- I don't know, what are my stats?
What kind of dragon am I?
- It's up to you.
- [Brennan] I think we're
doing beast stats, right?
- An ancient red drag.
[Erika] You're in beast.
- Let's just go ahead and do T. Rex.
T. rex is +2 to the height of them, right?
- [Erika] 'Cause that's the height, yeah.
- [Isabella] Can I have some?
- Can I help the editors out?
Yeah, you could totally
have some of my hit points
if I could do that, I
would give it to you.
- So let me know if you have T. rex there.
- [Erika] I do.
- Tyrannosaurus...
- [Aabria] I got it, I got it.
- [Becca] You have pictures on the back?
- [Aabria] It's low as sh*t, 13.
- 13, okay
Those are all gonna hit.
There we go.
- Oh my God.
I'm a monster slayer being
actively slain as a dragon.
You guys, I gotta go to therapy.
- This is your therapy!
- I've been talking to you
- This isn't doing the-
- This is awful.
- I'm telling you!
- No, don't listen to
Ostentatia, this is helpful.
- This is bad.
- I think that would be very good for you.
- And you should find another,
you should find a fighter.
- You take 43 points of acid damage
from those bloppelgangers.
There are none near our
other friends, I think.
- [Persephone] Wait, we're not good.
- But your dragon takes
the hit, yeah, okay.
- Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
- [Brennan] Yeah, the dragon takes it.
- That's nice.
- Sorry, say the number
one more time, how many?
- 43?
- 43, cool.
- 43.
Okay, the rest are going after-
- Is that just a party guest,
the guy with the horns?
- The eagle horn man.
- Which eagle horn man?
- Right behind Zelda.
- Oh, isn't that Michel?
- [Brennan] Yes, that's Michel Parnassus
- [Becca] Thank you.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- Hey, kinda cool bird feet.
- [Erika] Now, that's what he looks like?
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Wait, can he fly, is he a bird?
- Is he still charmed by me? [chuckles]
- [Persephone] He's a dragonborn.
- Yeah, can I have a kiss before I die?
- [Brennan] Amazing Antiope,
we are at the top of the round.
- [Becca] Oh f*ck, I keep forgetting-
- Holy crap, okay, how's Charity looking?
- Charity is looking hurt.
even if you have a lot of
health, but she's not looking,
I don't know if she looks
fully f*cked up yet.
- Okay, I have to ask for a
cheeky thing 'cause I have to.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- So T. rex's multiattack can't be against
the same two things.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- But could I, I just really
want to only attack her
as a dragon, just her.
- I can dig that.
I can dig that.
Well, I think that, The
tyrannosaurus makes two,
one with its bite and one with its tail.
- I have a different thing.
I don't want to do the tail attack.
I would like to attempt a
bite and then a grapple.
- A bite and a grapple.
Let's resolve the bite
first and see if you hit.
- Cool, cool, cool.
[fantastical piano music]
- Oh, that's definitely going to hit!
- Thank you for making
me a very scary boy.
- You turned into a boy?
- Thanks, man.
- 31, nope, a seven, 38
points of piercing damage.
- 38 points.
- Oh, I don't have to do
an extra grapple attack.
The bite grapples.
- The bite automatically grapples.
- She's medium or smaller, right?
- [Brennan] Medium, yeah, she's medium.
- [Aabria] Vibes.
- Vibes.
- Then I don't care about the second part
'cause I'm jumping off.
- [Isabella] With her in your mouth?
- And I just wanna f*cking
like, pound her into the ground
by jumping off.
- [gasps] Incredible.
[players cheering]
- That's one way to quit a job.
- [Aabria] Yup.
- Two weeks' notice!
- Yeah, you see that as
you are shaking this woman
in her pencil skirt she
says, "I'd like to say,
our internship program has
seen some extremely unprompt,
disobedient-
- As she does that I want to,
I have like, articulated hands.
I just cover her mouth and
then grab off the other side
and just give y'all a
little wink and dive off.
And I just, I'm full wrestler,
like suplex her onto the ground.
- Is the dragon wearing the sneakers?
- Yes!
[players cheering]
- Yes, yes, yes.
- Incredible.
I'm gonna roll 10d6 falling
damage for you both.
- Yep.
[dice rattling]
- That's gonna be 11, 13,
How's T. rex looking?
- f*cking, I ain't-
- The dragon's gonna be fine.
So dragon and Charity
fall to the ground, boom!
- Cool, are you gonna
let my tail attack on her
while I'm down here?
- It'd be cute, could be cute.
- Could be cute could be cute.
- It could be very cute but
I'm also inclined to not.
- What if I let her out
of the grapple to do it?
- Do you want to let
her out of the grapple?
- If you could let me
hit her with my tail.
- Yeah, I'll make that trade.
- Cool, thank you.
- [Brennan] You got it.
- Sweet.
- Okay, see, it's cute.
- All right, it's cute.
- So you open your mouth.
She stumbles to her feet
standing bloodied looking bad.
Go ahead and make your tail attack.
- Sweet.
[die taps table]
Oh, so bad, 16.
- Whoom, she dodges to the ground, bam.
And as she does so, out of your teeth
you go with the tail, she
dodges out of the way.
She looks terrified, covered in blood.
You see she reaches to her ear,
is going to use a legendary action.
- I shouldn't have let
her withdrawal, I'm sorry.
- And she goes, "That's
enough, get us out of here!"
And you see
a beam of light connecting the very top
of the roof all the way to
the floor surrounds her.
You see she looks and says, [sniffles]
"I'd always hoped to k*ll a Jones.
[Rekha gasps]
And maybe my day will come soon."
She holds up the Legendarium
Extrordia and vanishes.
- [Becca] Oh, she got it off you.
- Hold on, how did she get it from me?
'Cause everything I wear
gets morphed into my body when I go.
- Was that fake or is it a copy?
- With a +12 to her sleight of hand check,
the 25 perception check was not enough.
- Oh f*ck, that's what it was!
[Becca laughing]
Okay, okay, okay.
- Yep, stupid.
- A bonus action sleight of hand.
- I would like to roar and breathe fire.
[Brennan roaring]
I really...
- That is the end of Antiope's turn.
Charity leaves, flees the b*ttlefield.
- Oh cool, you coulda
just leave in a valet.
- [Isabella] Is the Jester still here?
- [Brennan] The Jester is still there.
Sam, that's your turn.
- [Persephone] Okay, so now I'm worried
that the Jester is gonna leave.
- Not before we beat the sh*t out of you.
[dramatic instrumental music]
- Okay, okay, I am just gonna do
what I was originally going to do.
I'm going to cast Icy Death
Frost on this m*therf*cker.
- Hell yeah, Tectonya looks at you like,
let me know when you want
me to drop concentration
'cause her wall will prevent
stuff from going through it
so she's like, when it's time
for us to f*ck with this dude,
just let me know.
- Um...
- [Becca] Go where you want to go, Sam.
- You know, what?
Instead while it's up
I think we can f*ck
with him a little more.
I'm going to cast Silence.
- [gasps] Incredible.
You cast Silence around
that area, amazing.
Silence goes up around the Jester.
That is so f*cking cool.
- And then as a bonus action
I am going to say or sing aloud.
♪ You my friends ♪
And use Mantle of Inspiration
as a bonus action.
I can use one point of bardic
inspiration and I can grant
five temporary HP to
four creatures I can see
so that's gonna be Tectonya obviously.
- [Brennan] Amazing.
- Can I see Ostentatia?
Did Ostentatia?
- Yeah, you can see Ostentatia.
- Okay, Ostentatia, I can
definitely see that damn T. Rex.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
I can definitely see that damn dragon.
- I'm a dragon.
- So that, too and then...
I don't think I can
see anyone else, can I?
- No, I think that's it.
- [Becca] Can you see yourself?
- You can see Danielle, perhaps.
- [Erika] Okay.
- Danielle.
Yeah, I can't give it to myself.
- [Brennan] Cool, amazing, and
how much healing is that or?
- It's five temporary hit points.
- [Brennan] Amazing,
five temporary hit points
to all of you, boom.
- [Aabria] Thank you.
- And you cast Silence and that actually,
there is no saving throw
against that so there's just,
boom, a sphere of silence that
appears around the Jester.
- Good luck casting verbal spells, b*tch.
- I was like, what would
you do with Silence.
- [Brennan] Penny, that is you.
- [Rekha] Incredible.
- How is that possible?
So I would like to fly to where
I have direct line of sight.
I don't know if I can do it
from the balustrade exactly.
- [Brennan] Yeah, for sure,
very much within range.
- Okay, cool so I would like
to first take my cunning action
to hide as I cast Shatter.
- [gasps] Very cool, love it.
- And maybe I look down at
Tectonya and give her a wave.
- Yeah, she drops it.
Oh, but Silence will f*ck
with the thunder damage.
So you might, in other words...
- Oh, no sound can happen in there.
Not like, it wasn't cast.
- No sound.
You can cast it in there but
I believe, let me just see.
- [Becca] I can do something else.
- Casting spell, oh.
- I could do-
- No, actually I think,
it doesn't say anything
about stopping thunder damage.
Oh no, inside the sphere is
immune to thunder damage.
Yeah, sorry.
- Copy that.
- You can cast something else
or you can attack, whichever you prefer.
- [laughs malevolently] But I'm hidden.
- [Aabria] Terrible.
- [Brennan] You're hidden
so you would roll with advantage
and you'd get sneak attack.
[laughs diabolically] I fly down
and Tectonya sees me coming,
releases this cone of bubble
and I'm just gonna-
- [Isabella] Cone of bubbles.
- Stab the cone of bubble. [laughs]
- [Brennan] You're attacking from hiding.
- Rapier to the back.
- Roll with advantage,
if you'd be so kind.
- [exhales softly] Okay.
- That's amore.
- I was just gonna say that!
- [Persephone] Oh, that's so good.
- 27.
- 27?
- To hit.
- To hit, amazing.
That is definitely a hit.
- Okay, thank you, I'll-
- [Isabella] Thank you.
- Thank you with my rapier.
- I really appreciate
it, thanks for your time.
- My rapier is gonna do a...
- [Isabella] Thank you!
- 12 piercing but wait! [laughs]
[Brennan laughs]
sneaky sneak attack of 5d6.
- [Brennan] Please go for it.
- [Rekha] Come on.
- This is my moment!
- [Persephone] All sixes.
- You guys, beat him up
and I come in and stab.
Okay, so that's five, 10-
- Lycanthrope.
Make sure you're watching!
What's his name?
- Lysander, he can hear!
- [Brennan] Lysander, Lycanthrope!
- He's just in a suit
of armor like, "Help!"
- [Rekha] Lysander, you should really-
- [Becca] What'd I say, 12?
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- This is so hot, yeah.
- [Rekha] You're with a breadwinner.
- 25 total.
- 25 total.
I'm gonna need the Box of
Doom out here real quick.
- [Aabria] Let's go.
- Oh, but I was coming from hiding.
Oh, it's not magical, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [Persephone] This Jester needs-
[die taps Box of Doom]
[players gasping]
Nat 20?
- Brennan, are you okay?
- [Becca] We don't, we
don't know what happened.
- Sir...
- Your face could be anything.
- That's true.
- Yeah.
- Penny you, this Jester had a +10
to the constitution saving throw.
[Becca giggling]
- Oh yeah?
- Half of the DCs for
constitution saving throws
are damage halved rounded down.
You did 25 damage, that's a DC 12 plus 10
means that on a, you know,
on a two or higher this Jester saves.
Now, it would seem unlikely
that he'd roll a natural one,
[Becca laughing]
but it's literally recorded on camera!
- Penny, let's go!
[players cheering]
- Flying down, surrounded in
shadow. [mimics blow landing]
Penny, your-
- No, wait!
I whisper in his ear, "That was lucky."
[players shouting]
[Brennan laughing]
- I'm literally screaming.
- Amazing!
- Every bloppelganger disappears
[players cheering]
in a burst of ooze.
- Oh my God!
- [Aabria] Penny!
[Brennan mimics ooze bursting]
- They're gonna be begging
me to join the Society of-
- The what?
- Huh?
- What?
- I didn't say it!
- Why do you keep talking
the Society of Shadows?
[Becca drowning out speech]
- What is that?
- Penny, I actually rolled a nat one!
You. [mimics ooze bursting]
- Yeah!
- Concentration on the spell is broken.
The bloppelgangers are gone!
Your sword bursts through
the Jester's chest,
- You're perfect, you're
perfect, you're perfect,
you're perfect-
- Oh yeah!
- I'm rolling in it, I'm rolling in it.
- Yeah, Penny is like a f*cking
Peter Pan ninja nightmare
flying through the shadows. [shouts]
Sword through the back, out the stomach.
- I would like Peter Pan ninja nightmare
is how I would always
like to be referred to.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yes!
- [laughs] I f*cking love it.
- Who's this Jester, does the mask drop?
- Yeah, take the mask off.
- [Persephone] Is the mask off?
- Don't you dare not let me see.
- It's Preston.
- Whoever took the most damage
should get to take the mask off.
- Incredible, hold on one second.
- Oh yes.
- [Isabella] Or her.
- Well, now I gotta f*cking-
- [Rekha] Take it off!
- [Brennan] Now I gotta
f*cking look for all this sh*t.
- Yeah, but she already did a spell.
- Just open your shirt,
look for that stupid tattoo.
- Oh yeah, can we reveal chest first?
No, if it's a woman I don't want do be-
- Yeah, if there's a chariot tattoo,
- Incredible.
Okay, no, no, no, but there are things.
- That might be Antiope,
she got one to match.
- Oh, can I roll for
perception to see if the shirt
is light enough that I
see a chariot through it?
- Ooh, it's like a sheer-
- Yeah, like a little bit sheer.
- You can see like, the n*pples.
- Penny, at the end of your turn,
I'm gonna need a constitution saving throw
because the Jester doesn't have,
can't use verbal components
'cause it's in a silence bubble,
but it's gonna use a legendary ability.
Go ahead and give me a
constitution saving throw
if you'd be so kind.
- I'm the tank now, I don't even care.
- Let's go.
- Two, oh wait, con saving, it's a four.
- [Brennan] Four.
- I could reroll and I won't.
- [Brennan] Nine, 18, you
take 26 points of damage.
- Guess what?
I'd only taken four and I don't care.
- You see just like radiates
shadow and magic at you.
[Brennan and Becca screaming]
[Becca giggles]
- [Isabella] Penny jiggles.
- Incredible, Penny jiggles, we love it.
- [Persephone] She's a
friend of the shadows now.
- Still got 33.
- [Brennan] Ostentatia,
that's gonna be your turn.
- Who's that?
Okay. [laughs]
[players laughing]
I just was not here.
- Perfect, perfect.
So you see all the bloppelgangers vanish.
You actually don't hear sh*t.
There was a zone of silence
surrounding the target.
- [Isabella] Erika.
- [Becca] 'Sup, b*tches.
[players laughing]
- How do you get to write that?
- [Becca] Enter.
- What?
Who wrote 'sup b*tches?
- This is a problem.
Good thing we only found out about it now.
- The Maidens have discovered
the chat function in TaleSpire.
- Oh my God.
- Where is it?
- Oh my God.
- Why didn't we know this before?
- The Maidens have entered the chat.
- [chuckles] Incredible.
- [Persephone] Wait, what?
- So Ostentatia, it is your turn, though.
The Jester is down there, is now the only,
Jana is dead, Charity just
got beamed out of here.
So the Jester is the only enemy left.
- This is, everybody has to stop.
Okay, I'm gonna go to where
I can see Jester flop.
- Yes.
- And just fly down there
and throw Sunforger at him
after I cast Searing Smite on.
- Incredible.
- Oh, wait!
Yeah.
[players laughing]
- [Becca] We'll heal later.
- Or should I heal everybody, no?
- Oh sh*t.
- He just needs to die.
Nothing can hurt us.
- [Brennan] And I'll say this-
- Well, it's his turn next
is the only consideration.
- Should I heal us?
- Also, you don't have to call
Searing Smite until you hit.
You can do it as a bonus or...
- [Brennan] Or, yeah.
- It's up to you, so you do what you want-
- [Brennan] But I would
say too, so you would heal-
- Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, no, no, no, no!
Let me, please.
I'm gonna throw Sunforger at
him and cast Mass Healing Word
as a bonus action.
- Beautiful, love it.
- [Aabria] Amazing.
- On me, Antiope.
On me and Tectonya a million
times, can I do that?
- What's the good word, Ostentatia?
- Do you need some?
- No, no, it's fine, I'm good.
- Are you sure?
- I'm fine, yeah, sorry.
- [Brennan] Amazing, go ahead-
- What's the word though?
- What's the word?
- [Brennan] First of all,
how many people are
you, who are you picking
with your Mass Healing Word?
- Wait, could I do like, me
and Tectonya three times?
- Unfortunately, no.
- Okay.
Who needs it?
Raise your hand.
- How many, you can do six?
- I can do six.
- I'm at 33.
- Sheah, I'll do me, Tectonya, Antiope.
- [Brennan And Isabella] Penny.
- Danielle.
- [Brennan] Danielle and Sam?
- Thank you.
- Did you take any damage?
- No.
[Brennan laughing]
- Ooh!
- And that's been true
this entire campaign.
- Yeah, sure, sure.
- [Rekha] I have 96, okay.
- It's only a couple.
- No, one of them dealt
damage to you as an-
- Temp HP.
- Temp HP, gotcha, amazing.
Still looking fine as hell.
- Flawless.
- Flawless.
- [Becca] How many points is that?
- 1d4 plus five.
- [Brennan] So go ahead and roll that now.
- I got a nine.
- Hey.
- Thank you.
- Nice.
- [Brennan] Amazing, nine HP to everybody.
It's a single word of healing.
What's the word Ostentatia utters
as she flies through the air
healing all of her friends?
- Pacino.
- Pacino.
- Whoa, I suddenly feel
strength and really hot in '80s.
- Oh, yes!
- [Brennan] 6d6 damage.
- My waiter outfit, just
another button buttons itself.
- That's hot.
- [Brennan] I love it.
- Nice and buttoned up, literally.
- [Isabella] 6d6?
- [Brennan] Yeah, six six-sided dice.
- [Becca] That's a lot.
- From...
- [Brennan] From Sunforger.
- I have 1d8 plus six.
- Sunforger, the thing where it blows up
is a different ability.
- Oh yeah, let's do that.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- Oh, am I gonna get hit?
- 23.
- Okay, 23 damage to Jester flop.
It is the Jester's turn.
I know that it feels like
everything is over but-
- And like it's always
the Jester's f*cking turn.
- Remember, it's in silence.
- [Isabella] Yeah.
- The Jester is going to rush beside you.
- He's got blue high heels.
- That's gonna trigger an attack
of opportunity from Penny.
- Oh you know, oh wait,
I used my reaction to cast Bountiful Luck.
No, that was previously.
- That was previous to your turn.
- Oh yeah, oh yeah.
- But you are no longer in
hiding so this is just gonna be
whatever the rapier's
normal damage is if you hit.
[die taps table]
- 20 to hit.
- 20 hits, the Jester used...
- [Aabria] Let's go.
- Or actually, he has his reaction back,
but no, he's gonna save it for counters.
He's gonna take the damage,
go ahead and roll it.
[die taps table]
[Becca groans]
- Should I re, I can't reroll.
It has to be a d20 that I
reroll with my luck, huh?
- Has to be a d20 that you reroll, yeah.
- Okay, so it's only seven.
- Seven points of damage.
You whip out with your sword,
wound the Jester again.
- I'ma reach.
- The Jester is going to run forward.
I know that it feels
like everything is over.
You guys have done an
incredible job in this battle.
He is going to try to get the job done
and throw a disintegrate
right at Tectonya.
- But she was at three
and then got nine, right?
- [Brennan] She's got nine.
- Entered my threatened area,
but he's not leaving it, right?
- Correct.
- Okay.
Is this the same round that
I cast Counterspell before?
- No, it has since been your turn
since the last you did Counterspell.
- Okay, so I'm gonna cast
Counterspell on that.
- Amazing, go ahead, you are trying to.
Hold on one second,
let me tell you what
you're trying to roll.
- [Persephone] My last one.
- This is going to be...
- [Persephone] No more after this.
- So it's a six.
You're using your charisma modifier, 16,
so we're gonna need a
[dramatic instrumental music]
sh*t!
- [Brennan] Okay.
- Nope.
- Tectonya is going to roll
to Counterspell as well.
She is going to need a 12
or higher on the die, too.
Oh sorry, no, she can do it on an 11.
That is a 19, Tectonya hits
it that time. [claps hands]
[players cheering]
[mimics magic flying] Throws it off.
You see, yeah, looking at you
like she lost the first Counterspell.
She gets this one.
- Good for you, yeah.
- [Becca] Teamwork.
- And after that, then...
- [Rekha] Whoa.
- Tectonya's going to go.
- Yeah!
- Magic with the book.
- Do something dope, Tectonya.
- [Brennan] Mm, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Oh, she should get the finishing blow.
She took the most, I mean...
- Yeah, this little guy has
like, k*lled her, literally
- Yeah, yeah.
- And she's holding a book the whole time.
- She's reading?
- She's been reading the whole time.
Imagine she closed the book, yeah.
- [Isabella] Look up.
[Aabria laughing]
- Come on, what is it, "Harry Potter?"
Who cares?
- Who brings a book to a ball?
- It's the Bible.
- Oh my God, is she
reading a Bible at a ball?
- It's a Bible.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- Make room for Jesus.
- We're gonna roll this, oh, sorry,
the Jester has a Counterspell as well.
I'm gonna roll for him.
He's gonna try to counter that counter.
- [Isabella] Oh no.
- That's a six on the die.
His counter fails so it goes off.
- Yes.
- His spell is stopped.
Yeah, now Tectonya goes.
What does she feel like doing?
I think she's done
f*cking around, actually.
- [Aabria] Let's go.
- [Isabella] Now is a great time.
- [Brennan] An he's
already used his counter-
- Now's a great time.
- To f*cking stop f*cking around.
- [Persephone] Yeah,
it'd be a great time now.
- If you would like to
prove your f*cking worth,
that would be great, yeah, you.
- Watch her be bad.
[Aabria laughing]
- Yeah, she has two hit points, no spells.
- She pulls out a squirt g*n.
- [Isabella] Immediately
tries to k*ll us, yeah.
[Becca mimics squirt g*n squirting]
- I'm gonna need Box of
Doom out here, actually.
- Ugh.
- She can't die because like-
- [Rekha] She's made of copper.
- No, but that means that
like, if she dies again
that means she's died more
times than Arthur Aguefort
and then we just can't have that.
- [Becca] Eggfart?
- [Persephone] Eggfart.
- [Aabria] Eggfart.
- [Isabella] Eggfart.
- [Rekha] Can we talk to
her before she might die?
- Oh my gosh, okay,
completely different idea.
Let's go to the school,
spray paint an A over the O
and it'll say Aguefart Academy.
- I do like that.
- Play it for later.
- [Persephone] I do like that.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- And then we'll open
that book with the muzzle.
- Yeah.
- [Persephone] Yeah.
- She's deliberately
picking a bad saving throw
for this dude so he needs to
roll high, I'm gonna roll.
[die taps Box of Doom]
An 11 is not high enough.
[Becca cheers]
- Yes, let's go!
- Get it, Techie!
- Tectonya holds a hand out
towards the masked figure
and says, "Disintegrate,
interesting spell.
You know, I always thought
that the trick to
disintegrate is to realize
that you're not actually
disintegrating anything.
You're just understanding that the thing
never really existed at all."
- This is her whole thing!
We've heard about this!
- And holds it.
- My God!
- And from the boots up
the Jester just starts to
vanish, just with clothing,
boots, and you see a brief naked chest.
- [Aabria] Please, no, please no.
- With a tattoo of a
chariot and four horses!
- [Players] No!
♪ Preston is a narc ♪
- We're so sorry.
[Brennan laughing]
We're so sorry.
- Who would have thought
that the cop was a cop?
Who could have known
that the cop was a cop?
♪ And he got himself a girl ♪
[Aabria groans]
- Should have gone on that
date instead of coming here.
Just saying.
- And we exit out of combat!
[players cheering]
[Erika clapping]
♪ Preston is a narc ♪
[Rekha beatboxing]
- Things were hopeless!
♪ Know he was a good narc of mine ♪
- And we all turned it around!
- Everybody turned it the f*ck around.
Tectonya looks at all of
you, smiles, looks out
at the various musicians, you know,
people that have been vomited
out of oozes and such.
And you see that she
simply announces, [laughs]
"Midnight Huntress,
Songbird, Stanley Gucci."
- Stanley Gucci.
- [Rekha] Stanley Gucci.
- Stanley Gucci.
- "Mare, Penny Duckstone,
Empress Anima of the Eidolons,
and Madam Goodparty."
[players laughing]
- Let's get f*cked up.
- I see no need to stop this celebration!
Strike up the band and let libations flow!
[players cheering]
- [Rekha] Let's get it!
- Oh yeah!
- I take off my one hoodie
and reveal a second hoodie.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- "Let's Get It Started" by
the Black Eyed Peas plays.
- There's like f*cking
custodians with push brooms.
Your mom is being shoved off into the...
- [Isabella] Oh, your mom!
- Bye, Mom.
- Bye, take $20 from her wallet.
- Do you take a selfie
with Mom's dead corpse in the background?
- Texting my dad, Mom died.
- [Brennan] Amazing.
- Mom's dead, I don't know how.
- [Becca] Take a selfie with the corpse.
- Yeah.
- Danielle, you see
that the four remaining pixies
come up to you and go like,
"Wow, this is amazing, we really did it!"
- Yeah, you want to stick
around for the party?
- "We're gonna strap bombs to everything
that looks like an important
load-bearing part of this."
- [chuckles] Sweet.
- "Sweet, bye," fly off.
- I approach Antiope and be
like, hey, I'm sorry about your.
Oh my God, f*ck, I
forgot you were a dragon.
I'm sorry about your boyfriend.
- Wait, what?
I wasn't up there.
I heard everyone gasp.
- Oh...
- Oh f*ck.
- [Players] Uh...
- Preston was the Jester!
- Oh, that makes sense.
He was a cop, that's fine.
- It wouldn't have worked out.
- I don't know if you saw,
see in here earlier, maybe if
you want to get your floor on.
- I'm good, I'm a
f*cking dragon right now.
This is fine, and I just throw it back.
- You see that a shocked and terrified,
music kinda starts up
but like scared musicians
looking around like, start playing again.
And you see that a
bunch of trumpets blare.
The lady Tectonya looks out
over the crowd and says,
"Friends, in an attempt to take my life,
enemies of our host
Talcidimir Tallbreeze came
and tried to ruin this good evening.
I, the lady Chromia say, let
the party not be stopped,
but let us instead cheer The Seven!"
And the party goes nuts and Tectonya-
- How does she know who we are?
- Well, she just said The Seven.
- [Aabria] We're a big deal.
- [Persephone] Yeah, uh-huh.
- You see that she prestidigitates
this swirling light
around all of you and the-
- Let's go claim that VIP.
- Oh my God.
- Yeah, 100%.
- Do you think we could get in?
[players laughing]
- Like just, and Entangle and druidcraft
and vines and flowers snake
around the VIP lounge,
just tear apart the red velvet ropes.
- And everybody can come in the VIP!
- Do we get our plus
ones out in the stables?
[players laughing]
Maybe a little treat for the end?
- You see that Tectonya says,
"Please, guests,
go to the stables and find every animal
and bring them in to this, the main hall."
- "I am edging!"
Katja says as she runs to the stables.
[group laughing]
- Uh, tell us what edging is.
- Wow.
- Absolutely not.
[group laughing]
- What's edging?
Another time.
- It's when you love a
horse so much you could die.
- Okay, can I...
- Maybe on some parts of the internet.
- My Kevin still gives me flying
so I'm gonna fly up to that coat of arms
and reach behind and
find a scared young man
and pull him out and hold him in my arms
and lift him up and say,
"Call me Helena, baby."
- And you see he goes, "Whoa,
a-ha, hi, Helena are you?
Your name is Penny Duckstone."
- Ssh, don't talk.
- Okay.
- No, don't talk,
and I smooch him.
[Brennan smooches]
I smooch him so good.
- He smooches and he goes,
[chuckles awkwardly] "I was in that armor.
I really thought I was gonna
be dead, this is so scary.
You do this for a living?"
- I'm amazing.
- He goes with you to VIP
and is fully just like, "Wow!
I don't know, am I allowed
to leave the shoeshine area?
I work here."
- [Aabria] Buddy, buddy.
- Wait, where the f*ck is Talcidimir?
- [Aabria] What is his mentality?
- Excuse me, you are a proletariat
and you're seizing the means of party!
- "Wow, okay, okay."
You see, by the way, off in the distance
just streaking across
the sky is Talcidimir
who is fully leaving the nation just like.
[Brennan mimics jet pack]
[players laughing]
Just jet packing off into the distance.
- Hey, the it's the rule of who survived
the ball of the Baronies.
- That's true.
- Is this just our Barony now?
- [Aabria] Yeah, that seems right.
- Oh my God, can we have
this country and this house?
- [Persephone] Can we have the ship?
- Oh, yeah, oh, tell the
Kevins, no more bombs.
It's our ship.
- [Persephone] Our ship.
- And we're good rulers.
- You see one of the Kevins
looks at you and is like,
"What's up, I'm putting
expl*sive acorns on here?"
- Just spray paint our
name on the outside.
- [Isabella] Just drive.
- [Persephone] We're seizing
the means to destroy the means.
- [Erika] Wow.
- [Isabella] Yeah!
- Revolution so that you can go
on top of the wheel of progress, huh?
Now, now you're-
- [Isabella] Shut up!
- Yeah, have some f*cking
fun, don't be such a-
- Okay. [cheers]
- Yeah, don't be a
political hobbyist, come on.
- [Isabella] Take your top off!
- He takes his top off,
but they all leave their ski masks on
so they're just little.
[players laughing]
- Hold on, Zelda has party in her blood.
What is she doing?
- She comes out of rage and is like,
"Wow, oh my God, you guys,
we did it, we really did it!
That was amazing.
Um, well, we found the Superintendent.
What happened with Charity?"
- She got away and she took
the Legendarium with her.
- [Persephone] Oh no.
- I mean, maybe we don't
want her to have it, but...
- You see Zelda opens her
phone and it's still working
and says, "Okay."
- There's an alligator.
- So it's bad that she has it,
but it's not like she has the only copy.
- But now she knows what
kind of mission we're on.
- I mean...
- Yeah.
And she'll be able to
learn information about it
like in the world, I guess.
As you guys actually
are checking your phone,
make a perception check
with advantage for me.
[die tapping table]
[soft instrumental music]
- 23.
- You begin to zoom in
on your phone, having looked
at the Legendarium's
instructions before zooming in
on this pirated app that
Danielle created, you-
- It's so small.
- You see that the-
- [laughs] For a dragon.
- The shape is coalescing.
You see it coalescing in the map.
And there are, 'cause you
sort of see it rippling
and then you realize that the
ripples are slightly curved
in the area you're on.
And as they're curved you realize
those are emanations coming
from a central point,
like concentric circles expanding
out from a central point.
You scroll down to the Necronomicron
which is an area in the world of Spyre
associated primarily with death.
[ruminative instrumental music]
You are also aware on a 23 perception
that this definitely is something
that will also be visible on
the original Legendarium.
That in other words, this information
that this class A quest is emanating
from this central point will be known
to the Ministry of Adventure.
It'll be known to Charity and
whoever is working with her.
For everyone assembled here
you see Zelda looks out
and goes, "Okay, that's pretty intense.
But we can like, party
a little bit, right?"
- We've got an airship.
- "Oh," you see Zelda looks
over to Tectonya and says,
"Um, is there like a pilot of this?
Like, this dumb but like, if Talcidimir-
- It's not dumb, Zelda, it's a great idea.
- [Rekha] Nothing you say
is dumb, you're perfect.
- [Brennan] "Sorry, sorry."
- [Aabria] You're great.
- [Persephone] You're
wonderful, be kind to yourself.
- Don't apologize.
- "Um, gotcha.
I'm right, listen to me."
[players cheering]
[players applauding]
- She says,
"Can we set a course
for the Necronomicron
while the party is happening?"
And you see Tectonya goes, [claps]
"Kidnapping hundreds of
the Baronies' noble elite
to go a city of the undead?
That sounds like exactly my type of party.
Set sail for the Necronomicron!"
And you see the Rombosa
begin to turn and fly off,
taking you, you see-
- Who did you yell at?
- And then the beat drops.
Black Eyed Peas start blaring
on the sound system, yeah.
♪ I got a feeling ♪
- Yeah!
♪ I got a feeling ♪
- Amazing.
Well, what is everyone's
hit point total right now?
- I'm a dragon so 68.
- The concentration is now gone from that.
- f*ck, [coughs] eight.
[Brennan laughs]
- Eight for Antiope.
- I lay down right here.
- [Rekha] 105.
- [Brennan] 105 for Katja.
- 42.
- [Brennan] 42 for Penny.
Danielle.
- 45.
- [Brennan] 45, for Ostentatia?
- 19 plus five temporary hit points.
- [Brennan] Lovely.
- 76 plus three temporary hit points.
- Amazing, we love to see it.
- [Isabella] I got hurt.
- Ostentatia got hurt.
So y'all-
- Yeah.
- You got stabbed!
- You got hurt.
[Brennan laughing]
Hey, by the way-
- We can both have gotten hurt!
- [Aabria] Hold on.
- Oh, oh, you know what?
You can put on that scar, though.
- Don't f*cking yell at me.
I'm trying to say I'm in
'cause I think my
internship is nothing, f*ck.
[Isabella sobbing]
- [Rekha] Did we do therapy?
Text it, text it so it's meaningful.
- I can't text it, I'm going
into shock, I'm actively dying.
- Antiope, I'm trying so
hard not to be annoying.
Can you text, I want to
take a picture of it.
- Cool, I'm blacking out as
we speak, but yeah, vibes.
- [Persephone] Can we heal Antiope?
- Oh yeah, can you make that happen?
- Oh yeah, yeah, cool.
- [Becca] We can just long rest, too.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- Yeah.
- [Aabria] Thank you.
I'm afraid I'm gonna
fart too hard and die.
- Ostentatia casts a powerful
healing spell on Antiope.
- [Isabella] Some sort of...
- Powerful healing spell.
- [Aabria] Wonderful, thank you.
- [Persephone] Are you really in?
[energy powering up]
- Yeah.
[Persephone gasps excitedly]
And Sam just goes over
and tackle hugs Antiope.
- [Players] Aw.
- Cuddle puddle!
I bring Lysander.
- I bring Cinnamon.
- Now all we need is Penny.
- [Aabria] Don't!
I immediately grab your face.
- [Becca] I can't tell you what I have-
- Don't, stop!
- [Persephone] But...
- Don't!
- [Becca] But it's awesome.
- No.
You don't get to do that.
You don't get to be this way.
- Ooh...
- I was just saying...
- No, you were putting demands on people
and you don't know their context.
And you know I love you.
I watched over you that night
when you were having your vision
so I'm saying this with
all the love in the world
that you can't do that to other people.
Okay?
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna shake you in a big hug.
- She does not return it.
- That's fine.
- I hug Sam, too, I'm not mad.
- Cinnamon, can you do one
of your world famous dances?
- Oh damn, Cinnamon can definitely-
- Cinnamon gets it!
- [Persephone] I interrupted Danielle.
- No, no, no, while Cinnamon is dancing.
- It's a dance circle around Cinnamon.
- Yeah, go Cinnamon. [claps hands]
It's your birthday.
Get spicy b*tch, not for play-play.
- [Players] Yeah!
- You see Cinnamon gets
a little too into it
and jumps and just
shatters a table, kicking.
- It's okay, it belonged
to a rich m*therf*cker.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- And Danielle
would like to pop over
if that's all right.
- Yeah, absolutely, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- To Katja and like, hey, are you okay?
You totally wrecked your mom.
- Yeah, I am starting
to feel a way about it.
But ultimately, she is
someone who, when I knew her
made me feel deeply like a mistake
and I now realize I am not.
- That's great, you know?
Family is who you choose to
lend your heart and live there.
- And that's everyone right here.
- Yeah.
- We live inside your heart.
- And on my arm.
- Oh f*ck, I was so high,
I've been so high, here.
And she gives you the other halves,
the six other halves of the one.
And I also made one for Cinnamon, yeah.
- Katja is about to
throw up, she's so happy.
She goes over to Cinnamon.
Cinnamon, stop making it clap.
- [Brennan] You see two guards are staring
at a horse with flapping,
clapping a*s cheeks
just looking at it like...
- Flapping, clapping a*s cheeks.
- I have never seen a
horse move like that.
- I know, right?
- They say if you stare at it
too long, you'll go insane.
- Hey, we passed that
point a long time ago.
- [Becca] Sean, get it.
- I go over to Cinnamon
and say, Cinnamon, you
know how all we ever wanted
was a family that loved us?
- Yes.
- [Rekha] To complete us?
- Yes.
- Now we fully have one.
And I put a necklace on Cinnamon's neck.
- Cinnamon looks and says, "My, my word,
it's beautiful.
Who crafted this delicate art?"
- You look over and
Danielle's just like vibing
and her eyes as big as dinner plates.
- You might not know when you look at her
'cause she's sort of
twisted out of her mind.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- But Danielle made this.
- Amazing, and you see that Cinnamon says,
"Danielle, you have
a heart of gold.
It is a pleasure and an honor
to have your friendship."
- Oh my God.
- You see what I mean?
[Becca laughing]
- [Erika] That horse can talk...
[players laughing]
- Yeah, Ostentatia is
watching this and goes,
"Oh, f*ck it" and FaceTimes her dad.
[group cheering]
- And just. [smooching]
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- Look at that, you're
perfect, you're perfect.
- You go ahead, you go off,
or do you just start doing it
on the dais, do you go off
in a corner, where do you?
- I'm just like, listen, Daddy!
- So yeah, 'cause his thing goes,
immediately is picked up.
You see your dad is in
the living room, he goes.
"Hey, sweetheart, how's it going?
You're doing your quest?"
- It's fine!
[players laughing]
We're fine!
I love you!
- "Angel, what's going on?
I love you, too."
- I love you!
- "I love you, I love you."
- Look at...
- Hi, Mr. Wallache
- Hey.
- "Hey."
- We got a ship.
- "You got a what?"
- We like, I don't know, we
sieged an airship or something.
- "You sieged an airship?"
- Yeah.
- "Nice, okay."
- I put a woman in metal back together.
- "Oh, all right."
- I'm not trying to outdo
you or anything, but...
- "Outdo me, how you
gonna outdo your dad?"
- I can't outdo you.
- "Oh, sweetie, that is..."
Give me an insight check.
- What?
- [Becca] Aw.
- I thought this was just
gonna be a throwaway.
- [Becca] Just grab some
candlesticks to take home to him.
- What's nine plus 13?
- 22.
You say that, you're like,
"I could never outdo you."
And you watch your dad fall
into a trap in his own mind
in front of you where he
simultaneously cannot be outdone
by you and needs you to outdo him.
It's like the perfect
thing you could have said
to make him like, not
know what to say next.
"No, you're brilliant,
you're my little girl.
You never have to do anything
but you do everything.
You never have to not do everything.
You do what you want and you do anything
but you never have to.
You never have to do nothing."
- Drink some wine, Dad.
- "I'm gonna, I'm gonna do it, Luc!"
You see he stands up-
- Is Chenzo's car okay?
- "Nah, the garage, he's doing bad.
Hey, can you do a miracle about that?"
- I tried!
- "Don't yell at me!
I'm asking you for a reason!"
- We're having yelled at
each other, is such a-
[group laughing]
- He smiles and says, "Hey,
what's bothering you?"
- Nothing anymore.
- [Players] Aw.
- "Aw, come on, what are
you being so sweet for?
That's nice, hey, you use
any of those gems yet?"
- Yeah, I put a woman
of metal back together.
- "Ah, great, well, I'm glad.
I'm glad it came in handy, sweetheart.
That's good, that makes
me feel really good."
- Yeah.
- "When you get back, we
should have a talk because,
you know, your mother and I are talking
and it might be time for us to, you know,
we got this big house, you know?
It might be time for us to think about,
you know, we're kind of thinking
about maybe selling the
house, maybe, you know-
- All right, gotta go, love you, bye!
- "Oh!"
Her daughter hangs up.
You, yeah. [laughs]
Ostentatia's getting plastered.
- Penny goes off in the
corner and writes a text,
an email to all 21 of her family members
in her immediate family.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- She's been doing this every night
but doesn't talk about it
where she does a write-up
of all the cool things her friends did
and just so her whole family
knows how cool her friends are.
- You write, like, a
Christmas card every day.
Like, you'll never believe
what Katja got up to.
- It's so stupid.
She k*lled her mom, smiley face.
- Yeah, they all reply
with one-word affirmations.
- Where's Michel?
- Oh.
- [Becca] Oh, Belle.
- I'm very into dragons now.
- Oh.
- [Players] Yeah!
- Yeah, you're having
a weird draconic moment
where you both shot Danielle as a dragon.
You got turned into a dragon.
Michel Parnassus is over
there in the corner going,
"Sacre bleu, can you believe this, that?"
- Yo, you're hot, I'm very into dragons.
What are you doing right now?
- Isn't he a bird?
- No, he's a full dragon.
You can see him.
- Dragonborn.
- We can find Michel.
- He's a fly-a*s Dragonborn.
- [Rekha] He's 18?
- That's a cow.
- He's an adult, I'm an adult, as long as-
- Michel is 18?
- [Brennan] Well, Antiope's 18.
- Yeah.
- [Brennan] You see he
looks at you and says-
- I'm trying to make
everybody similar ages.
- Michel is 50.
- You see Michel looks at you
and says, he's a pretty, like, he's a-
- He's thick as hell.
- [Brennan] He's thick as hell.
- [Rekha] He's really thick.
- He's really thick.
You see he goes, "Zut alors,
you were on death's door
like two seconds ago."
- Yeah, I'm trying to celebrate
being alive, that's good.
- Um, well, um...
- Ostentatia! [whispers]
- It's like, normally I'm
working at this event, but uh...
Go ahead and make a persuasion check
and this is a favored enemy so
you can do it with advantage.
- Oh my God!
[players laughing]
- [Rekha] [cheers] Bases!
- [Brennan] You can go ahead
and do it with advantage.
- I am a dragon's, oh, fail.
- This is the hottest
thing I've ever seen.
- [Persephone] This is so f*cking hot.
- [Rekha] Wait, this is epic-
- Dirty 20.
- [laughs] Dirty 20.
- [Erika] Yeah, dirty!
- [Becca] Dirty, nasty.
- So hot.
- So you see Michel looks at you and says,
[regal instrumental music]
"Well, you know,
you are a young adventurer
and I also saw you do
some of the most incredible
feats of archery in general.
Did you turn into a dragon and suplex
that sort of emaciated-looking
lady into the ground?"
- I did, yeah, I did.
- "I was hiding under this table."
- You don't have to tell me about that.
- Does that turn you on?
I was hiding under the...
- It's not great.
- "Listen, if you would
like a tour of the-
- I would love it right now.
- Tour!
- I'll be back, b*tches, and I roll out!
- "Zut alors!"
- Let's go!
- Use protection, meaning your shield.
- Oh my God. [gasps]
She's gonna be the first to un-maiden.
- The noise of merrymaking,
the sounds of music, the-
- The sounds of Antiope f*cking.
- Just like the calls
of many animals in here,
like 100 animals in the
hall like horses and cows
and bears and stuff.
- [Becca] There's an aligator.
- [Rekha] No one's
airship, no one's airship.
- Could be a crocodile.
- There's an alligator there.
So as Antiope walks away,
Ostentatia's getting plastered.
Penny is writing her letter to her family.
What's Katja doing?
- I think Katja sees Ostentatia
make that call to her dad
and she's like, well, I
guess I've got an update.
- [Persephone] Oh no!
- [Isabella] Oh my God!
- And she dials her dad.
- Oh...
- Your dad picks up, smiling.
"Hey, hi there, kiddo, how's it going?
You know, I was about to, [chuckles]
I wasn't sure we'd get service down here.
But get this, we're in
a maze that eats ya!"
- [laughs awkwardly] I k*lled Mom.
- "What?"
[players laughing]
- Huh, what did you say?
- "What?"
- Wait wait, what did you say?
- "Forget it, I'm in a maze
that eats you, you k*lled-
- Now, that's interesting.
- "Where's Mom?"
- Huh?
- "What?"
- What?
- "What?"
- I k*lled her.
- "I don't know about that."
As he says that, over his right shoulder.
- [Becca] [gasps] No.
- You see your mom
appears because he's in the abyss
which is the afterlife
for chaotic evil people.
- Oh my God.
- Did, what the, what, what?
- "What the, holy sh*t, Jana!"
And you see he turns around.
She's there looking still badly injured.
You see that she turns
and looks up and goes,
"How did I come, oh, Katja you."
[mimics magical
reverberations] She, [screams]
is sucked into a crystal
and you see a very old man
with a big, pointy hat
with stars on it, Gelgador.
You see he goes, "Oh,
there was an interloper
behind your shoulder
and I've ensorcelled it
to be trapped in this.
[players laughing]
I've ensorcelled it to
be trapped in this gem.
There's a lot of gems
that have been going on.
I know that might be a
sore subject with the fact
that your daughter was trapped
in that gem for a while.
It was some sort of demon
wearing a swallowtail coat.
It looks badly injured."
- Do you ever?
It is so crazy, talking to you
is like a rollercoaster, Dad,
of just up and down,
constantly, oh my God, well-
- "That was your mom!
Did she plane shift here
or did she plane shift here
the old-fashioned way?
[Aabria chuckles]
You know, when you die, you
plane shift to the afterlife?"
- Yeah, she died, I k*lled her!
- "Oh my God, oh my God!"
- But that's only because she's
evil and rude and hated me.
[tender instrumental music]
- "Sweetheart, listen,
before your dwarf friend
kicks my a*s again..."
[Rekha sputter laughs]
- [Isabella] Tell him you
did it in one turn and-
- [Becca] Yeah, you did it.
- Oh, maybe wait...
- You see he says,
"Sweetie, one of the reasons
I stopped being faithful to your mom
is I found out that...
[tender instrumental music]
[sighs] Do you know anything
about the Ministry of Adventure?"
- I know, there might
be a couple of things
that I know at the moment.
- "One of the things that
that woman, Tectonya,
that you asked me about told me
is that very successful
adventurers that are lonely
or that are having a
hard time finding someone
to spend their life with,
sometimes they meet people
that are a little bit too good to be true.
And sometimes those people are
kind of put into their path
by the Ministry."
[Rekha gasps]
- Red sparrows everywhere.
- "I thought your mom
was another adventurer,
and in a kind of sad
and scary way, she was,
But she was an adventurer.
Early on in her time at Aguefort
had gotten this internship
and applied to work at
the Ministry of Adventure,
way before I met her, you know, but..."
- Oh my God, Megan did that, too.
[players laughing]
- [Brennan] "Oh God, is Meg
there, is she all right?"
- She's fine.
- [Brennan] "Good."
- She turned into a dragon.
- Yeah, it's a whole thing.
But my friend Megan
had that happen to her.
So they're turning people evil?
- He pauses here for a long time.
"I don't know that some people
need a whole lot of help turning evil,
but I know that they make it really easy
to go down that path.
I learned from Tectonya about not only me
but just for many years
and even before my time
the Ministry would, not even
as a way to k*ll people.
It's not like a honeypot like a spy trap,
but literally would, adventurers
that were very powerful
or were of interest to the
national welfare or whatever
would sometimes find really
fascinating, scintillating,
wonderful partners that
unbeknownst to them
were kind of there to keep an eye on them
from up real close."
[Rekha gasps]
- Like that one cult religion, you know,
that celebrities do, yeah.
- [Isabella] Careful, you're
gonna start getting mail.
- [Rekha] I know, I don't want to.
- He says, "So I didn't know what to do
'cause I knew that confronting
her about it was dangerous.
It would endanger Tectonya, and um...
Eventually when I sorta
came to a head and I said something
and said that I doubted,
that I knew about her secret,
blew her cover, made her.
And the Ministry took her off my detail."
- Aw...
- "And I know this is foolish,
but it happened when you were so small.
How do you look a perfect
little girl in the eye
and tell her that someone that
shoulda wanted to be there
didn't want to be there?
And I know it should be two,
but there was one person that wanted you
more than anything in the world."
- Katja is okay at this
point showing her dad
that she's crying 'cause
she's not trying to hide it
like she did before.
- Your dad cries big, big, big tears.
Looks up at you and says,
"I'm glad it was...
Mom was a very dangerous woman.
She was very powerful and
did a lot of things that, uh,
I probably could have
done more to know about.
But I just hurt too much."
- I know that parents are
people and they make mistakes.
And I know to you, I wasn't one of them.
- "Never could be, never could be.
Which is why actually, Gelgy."
You see the wizard says, "Yes, hello.
I'm still here with the gem."
- A hard shift.
- You see he goes, "Hello,
Katja, how are you doing?
You remember your uncle, Wizard Gelgador?"
- Hi Gelgador, how are you doing?
- "The wizard!"
[players laughing]
- You're Bewithered, what else is?
- "No, the wizard!"
- Huh?
- "I'm Gelgador the wizard,
a member of your father's-
- I'm so, I thought you
said you were bewithered
and I was like, "I know."
[players laughing]
- "Oh, she is fun for a
ribald jape though, isn't she?
I'd say, or how would you
say that I've been roasted!"
- Uh, uh, yes, Gelgador, how are you?
- "Splendid, I think
I've captured the soul
of your hideous mother in this gem."
- Oh...
- "But we are in a maze that eats you."
- Yeah...
- "Eats one."
- Yeah, you know, or universal you.
Whatever you want to say.
- "Of course."
- Of course.
- "Your father
has been a member of the
party, the Pact of Kyburus
for some time, and we wanted you to know
that your message that your father
should spend more time with you
has not fallen on deaf ears.
So it is with great
pride and utmost pleasure
that on behalf of the Pact of Kyburus
we would like to invite
you upon graduation
at the end of this year to
join our adventuring party."
- God f*cking dammit.
- And you see your dad says,
"You're gonna come and adventure
with your old man, how's that?"
- Oh my God!
- Ostentatia punches the phone.
- Oh, sh*t!
- Ostentatia!
- [Isabella] I can't!
- You already texted, you're in.
[players laughing]
- Does the phone hang up, does it break?
- Yeah, the phone.
[mimics crystal crashing]
- Oh my God, my-
- Use mine, call back.
- Give me an intelligence check
to remember your dad's number.
- [Erika] Oh God!
- That's amazing.
- Okay.
- [Aabria] I feel very attacked by that.
- Eight plus three, 11.
- 11's not gonna get the job done.
- Okay, I think it's 1234567.
- [Isabella] Call tomorrow!
- I hold out the mirror
and ask her to look into it
and give her the number.
- [Becca] You can't
possibly think it's that!
- I look into the mirror
and give her the number.
- You use this powerful
artifact to zoom into the past
and you see phantasmagorical
image of Katja
as a 12-year-old programming
her dad's number into a phone.
- And it is 1234567.
- [Brennan] 5678.
- It's 1234567.
- Okay wait, slow down!
[group laughing]
- So you see...
- I'm not happy about this,
but I will do it to help you.
- The phone dials again and your dad goes,
"Hey, what the hell happened?"
- I'm sorry, calling from Megan's phone.
- "Oh great, let me hold on.
M, is it with an H or just with a G?"
- All of it, so you said-
- All of it.
- To adventure with you?
- "Yeah, when you
graduate you can jump in,
hit the outer planes with your old man.
Come on with me and your Uncle Gelgador."
"It'll be fun!"
- Oh...
It's just, my adventuring party
is trying to all graduate
at the same time.
They're trying to get their GED
so we could all be a party together.
They're like my sisters
or my horses or something.
[players laughing]
- Aw.
- So even closer than sisters.
- So they are closer than sisters.
[players laughing]
- You see your dad...
- It's thin, but I'll use it.
- It's too thin. [laughs]
- Your dad looks at you and says,
"Well, so wait, wait a second, sweetheart.
I'm trying to understand, do you want to?
Well, okay."
- I mean, I want it all.
- [Becca] I've been there.
- Right?
- I can't tell you why,
but I've been there.
- The Society of the Spurts.
[Rekha shushing]
- You see he looks at you.
I'm gonna make a little roll for him.
He looks at you and says, "Well,
well yeah.
Yeah, that makes sense, kiddo.
I'll tell you what, I'll
tell you what, baby girl.
You take a night, take
a night, think on it.
You don't have to say anything
right now on the phone,
all right?"
- All right.
- "And I love you."
- I love you, too.
I love you, right?
- Yeah, you love him.
- I freaking love you.
- You're f*cking k*lling it, b*tch.
- You see he says, "I love you, too.
I gotta go 'cause the
maze is eating us, okay?"
[players laughing]
- You see Gelgador says,
"Slowly but surely."
- [Rekha] Okay.
- "Piece by tiny piece so..."
- Oh God.
- "Anyway, onward until the
And you see that your dad
says, "I'll be in touch, okay?"
- Okay, I hang up, I see
Ostentatia's background
is just like a really
salacious picture of her
and I privately decide, like,
we're not gonna talk about that.
I did just see it, it is in my brain.
- You're supposed to.
[players laughing]
- It's just like a leg spread selfie.
- Yeah.
- That's why it's my background.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- [Isabella] No man lock screen.
- Is there anything anyone
else is doing that night?
Yes, Sam.
- [Persephone] I want to do something.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- So after I look into
the mirror and see what-
- [Rekha] Oh no!
- The phone number for Katja
I think Sam's going to back off
into a balcony that
looks over the outside.
- You go...
- [Aabria] You hear faint
screaming in Draconic, mm.
- Ew.
- Ooh!
- Flawless Draconic.
- Holy sh*t!
- I can speak Draconic,
I know exactly what's-
- You know exactly.
- Oh my God!
- Yeah, same.
- Oh my God,
turn your bracelet off, Antiope, it's on!
- [Persephone] Wait, what's
a screwdriver and a shroom?
- Watch!
Tap out.
- Hammer and nail, what?
- [Brennan] Um, you go out and-
- [Persephone] Spread eagle?
- You go out to another balcony.
Do you want to go to a
balcony that's more populated
by people or do you want
to go to one that's-
- I don't think it matters.
I think either way it's gonna be sad.
- Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- So I guess she goes to the nearest one
which would probably have people in it.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- So during the fight
Sam used some abilities
that she didn't know she had.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- But she knows where they come from.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- And she had the argument
with Antiope briefly earlier.
She sees now that Katja has
something to go off with, too.
And now she's surrounded by
people who she doesn't know,
but she feels incredibly alone.
And it reminds her that one of the people
or one of the beings that
actually understands that
is something that she's connected to.
- [Becca] Ooh.
- Incredible.
You stare out there
and I think you are joined after a time
by Tectonya.
[soft piano music]
"They are impossibly
beautiful even just to contemplate.
So easy to become lost in reverie."
- How do you know what I'm thinking about?
[magic twinkles]
- A small wisp
of autumn breeze is plucked
out of the air by Tectonya.
The smell of dead leaves, coming frost,
the ending of the light.
"Even from death I can
smell the Eldritch Blast.
Certainly not available
to one as a sorceress.
Certain pacts are made even in silence
to access magic like
that, Sam Nightingale."
- I suppose of a sort, yeah.
- "And we are all in our way
descended from them,
perhaps women like you
and myself especially."
And she puts a coppery hand on your arm.
- Women made from the elements.
My sisters are alive.
Hers aren't.
Not in a way that she knew them.
- "No, not in the way that she knew them."
- So why do I feel such
a kinship with her?
Is it because this group is ending?
That's not a death, it's just change.
- "In a reality governed,
it seems, first and foremost
by the exchange of energy,
I do not know what
destruction or creation are
other than labels put on
an equivalent exchange.
And I would say that death
and change are two words
applied depending on the emotional
resonance of the speaker.
They are one and the same.
Death is a change, and in some ways,
all changes are a type of death."
- I feel for her.
I care about her, maybe
more than I should.
But I don't want to end up like her.
- "Circles over and over again.
Things repeating, halos
expanding through time and space.
It is very challenging to avoid coming-
- Making cohesive sense,
you're kind of rambling.
- "Sorry."
- Yeah.
[Rekha laughing]
- [Becca] Damn.
- I'm just saying.
- [Becca] That's a Sam thing to say.
- "It's very difficult
to make sense sometimes.
Or I mean to say,
doesn't this all feel a
little strange to you?"
- Seven Maidens, seven Eidolons,
a quest that might end
in the end of the world.
Seven women trapped in crystals,
seven beings trapped in mirror.
Yeah, circles and circles.
[warm instrumental music]
- "Takes prodigious strength of will
and extreme cleverness,
wisdom, grit, cunning,
determination to break from those cycles.
My God, I don't know if
there's any magic more potent
than just doing something new.
I don't know if I've ever seen it.
No it seems mirrors within mirrors,
reflections of reflections, yes.
Your connection to her may in its time
prove to be a source
of wisdom and cunning.
After all, the best way to
avoid repeating something
is to know it, or maybe not.
Maybe knowing it dooms you
to repeat it, I don't know."
- [laughs] I enjoy her tremendously.
- [Rekha] Mm-hmm.
- You remind me of someone.
- "Do I remind you of myself?"
- Arthur Aguefort.
[Brennan gasps]
And she walks out.
- She looks and says, "Less of
an insult than you'd think."
- I think you would
take it as a complement.
- She smiles, "Enjoy your
evening, Sam Nightingale."
- I'ma find someone to bone!
[Brennan laughing]
- And Sam adjourns into the party.
- Can I roll to see if Lysander's the one?
[players laughing]
- You gotta hit a nat 20.
- Oh!
- Oh my God.
- Okay, well-
- The one?
You gotta hit a nat 20.
- No, no, no.
To see if he's like, a nice guy.
- Can we give her a help action or like a-
- Yeah!
- [Persephone] Yeah.
- I don't need him to be the one.
I just need him to be a nice, you know?
- Can I give her Bardic Inspiration?
- A one.
- Pure of heart.
- Pure of heart, give me the
roll, let's see what happens.
- Come on, come on, come on.
- Okay, what should I add to it?
- You know what?
- [Becca] Insight?
- Definitely not wisdom.
- [Becca] Insight.
Insight, let's call it-
- Well, doesn't it need to be a nat 20?
- Yeah, it needs to be a nat 20.
- For the one the one.
- [Brennan] For the one
the one, but let's see.
- It's a 16.
- Lysander is lovely.
- Okay, uh, I want to
bring him somewhere private
with lots of candles and fade to black.
Don't worry about it.
- Let's go.
- Amazing, you bring-
- I spin his bow tie.
- So Lysander goes like,
"Okay, so this is the closet
where we keep all the candles."
[players laughing]
- [Rekha] The candle closet.
- Do you shine shoes in this closet ever?
- "No, because we're not
allowed to bring guests."
- I take a shoe off and
I throw it in the closet.
- "You want me to go shine that?"
- Yes, I do.
- Oh my God!
- [Becca] I go off toward it.
- [Rekha] Penny's a f*cking freak.
- Let's go!
- I cast Invisibility
on myself and Disguise Self on...
- Lysander?
- [Becca] Yeah, I just-
- Damn.
- I got these new spell slots
and I didn't even use 'em!
- What do you make Lysander look like?
- [Isabella] Why are you invisible?
- No, I cast Invisibility on both of us.
- Oh, you see he goes, "Oh, okay, okay."
- And then I find his face.
- "Wow, oh wow, I ca-
I can't see anything."
[players laughing]
- [Rekha] This is incredibly hot!
- [Brennan] "Oh my God, I can't-
- [Becca] We're already in the dark.
- [Brennan] "I can't see anything."
- You are in the dark and invisible.
- [Isabella] This episode
is four hours long.
- This is how I always wanted
my first time to be! [laughs]
- Incredible, well, Sam walks past a room
with screaming Draconic and
two invisible tiny people
f*cking in a closet full of candles.
And that's all for this
week on Dimension 20!
Tune in next week!
- I'm really mad at the gods.
- You're mad at a lot of things.
- I am.
- Ah, so in order to have
three of your six friends
graduate a year early you
have doomed the multiverse
to unmaking.
- Well, so, for, okay...
- I think you did hook up with my dad,
and I feel weird about
that, but I don't know.
I don't ever want to talk about it.
- Got an opening for moms.
- I always knew
you could communicate
with us telepathically.
That seemed pretty
obvious to me, but uh...
- Yeah.
- Right, no, yeah.
- Wait, really?
- Uh, yeah.
- Come into the center of the wind.
[inhales raspily] Let the
air bear your soul aloft.
- I was just gonna tell you, like,
there's talk around town
that like, you're not real.
[gasps] You started that talk.
- This isn't the time.
I have to go bear my soul aloft, hold on.
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11x08 - And Another Thing
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.