- [Brennan] A list of the topics, themes,
and subject matter
featured in this episode
has been included in
the video description.
♪ Here we go ♪
♪ T-T-T-Taking over, teenage rebellion ♪
♪ It's our time, it's our year ♪
♪ No more fantasizing about it ♪
♪ Everything's about to change ♪
♪ We're all gonna be okay ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, let's go ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, let's go ♪
Hello, one and all!
Welcome back to another thrilling episode
of "Dimension 20: Fantasy
High Junior Year".
I am your humble dungeon
master, Brennan Lee Mulligan.
With me, as always, are
our Intrepid Heroes.
Say hi, Intrepid Heroes!
- Hi, Intrepid Heroes!
- Nat 20?
- 17.
- Ehh.
- Last we left off,
[rock music]
our Intrepid Heroes
had to leap to action as Adaine,
working her part time
job at Oodles of Strudel,
happened to witness the sudden,
horrifying transformation of Cassandra,
Kristen's goddess of doubt,
mystery, and the night.
The presence of Kalina the Shadow Cat,
as the newly-resurrected
familiar of this goddess,
seemed horrified by what now happened
as sort of chittering,
shifting, tinkling orbs
of sharp razor crystal, glowing red,
emerged from the chest of this goddess,
her blood pooling on the floor
as the shards took control
of a series of mages around
the synod's food court.
Many brave mages fell in the
advance of the rage stars,
even Conor Counterspell,
whom we remember fondly.
- [Emily] No!
- He died so we could live.
- [Brennan] He died so you could live.
Moments before being taken over
by one of the shatter-stars,
Kalina looked at Riz and grunted
the name Ragh Barkrock
through pain and effort.
Cassandra, looking out into the distance
and addressing someone we could not see
seemed to say, "I thought you were dead."
And in a moment of Bardic Inspiration,
a shrimp was offered from
a platter to Fig Faeth
who, knocking the platter,
sent a shrimp spiraling
through the air into Cassandra's throat
as a wet floor sign from the
upper deck of a rage mage
was kicked and hit her in
the head, stunning her.
A harrowing amount of bad luck
for the goddess with one
cleric, one follower, and-
- And a shrimp allergy, apparently.
- And a shrimp allergy.
I guess the deific
resistance to food allergies
kicks in at like 10 followers?
- Damn.
- You f*cked up. You f*cked up real bad.
- So she's gone?
- She's gone. And as she departed,
a number of glowing diamond
shards of purple twilight energy
are all that Kristen
has left as you arrive.
But the sudden seeming
destruction of a divinity
and the sundering of
the synod's food court-
the wizard's mall within the Astral Realm,
yes, that was a harrowing experience.
But I'll tell you what wasn't.
The ultimate shrimp jump!
As Kristen Applebees-
- "Kristen Applebees."
- [Brennan] As "Kristen Applebees," wink.
- Krisfig Applebees.
- [Brennan] So far, Fig
has sealed the Night Yorb
and nailed the campaign motorcycle jump.
- Oh yeah!
- [Brennan] Both attributed
to other party members.
- I operate in the shadows.
- Arriving back at the party,
there were also sinister
words in Kristen's mind
as the rotting body of the god Yes!
was sort of shunted into
the Material Plane briefly,
slimy and corpulent,
before it was banished
back by Kristen into the Astral Realm.
All of that happened last time.
But the party has kicked off!
Oh baby, let's go!
It is party time at Seacaster Manor.
As the party rages, Kristen,
Greater Invisibility,
holding the shards of your
maybe dead or destroyed goddess.
- Yeah, great.
- But the Hangman, dressed as a shrimp,
with Fig, dressed as Kristen Applebees,
just landed this awesome thing on a ramp
that was made by Torek today
and buttered to perfection
by Ragh Barkrock.
- I don't get the butter.
- It's essential.
- [as Ragh] We're buttered
up, dude! We're buttered up!
- Why?
- [Brennan] You see
tartar sauce everywhere.
- Oh, all the tartar sauce is on fire.
- Yes, Fireball.
- Please don't forget that.
- And it's just staying on fire?
- Really high alcohol
level in that tartar sauce.
- It's like an hour into
the party when we come back.
It is raging here.
There are Hudol kids.
There are Mumple kids.
Basically every upperclassman
from Aguefort is here.
Music going berserk, sound system pumping.
You see that there's
a giant banner saying,
"It's always happy hour at Applebees."
There's a little social
clip playing on a projector
of you in the lobby of
a steelworkers factory
saying, "We make steel here."
- And it cuts off really abruptly
before I get hit with
a buzzsaw to the eye.
- There's a weird motion
like you're about to run.
- We make steel he...
And then it cuts off.
- Three frames of us getting dragged out.
- The mood has descended early.
People are acting rowdier than
they are even drunk, right?
It's like the night has just
gotten rowdy right away.
Ragh Barkrock has started a
sumo wrestling competition
on the felt of Fabian's
pool table in the rec room.
- That's perfectly fine.
- I'm trying to talk to him.
- What's up? What's up, dude?
- Can we-
- Crab king! Crab king!
If you wanna talk to the crab king,
you gotta knock him off his crab mountain.
- Is there a line? Can I just-
- There's a big f*ck' line,
dude. Get in line, broski.
- Get to the end of the very long line.
- [Brennan] The end of the
line of people coming up to-
- You step on my foot. Ow.
Sorry, I-
- You can come out of
invisibility now if you want.
It was just because-
- 'Cause I was doing a sick jump.
- We didn't want you
to beef it on the jump.
- That's very true. I
come out of invisibility.
- [Brennan] You come out of invisibility,
a couple of little shards in your hand.
- Okay.
- I walk behind you, still you. Oh f*ck.
- No, you're doing a better job.
Can I go back to being invisible?
- Re-trigger the invisibility.
- I don't know if I can, actually.
- I will say, also, in this moment,
as you are looking at those shards,
Adaine, you get a message on your crystal
from Oodles of Strudel Corporate
saying that your position
has been terminated
and that you owe the
balance of your uniform
and some of the accoutrements
that was destroyed.
So you have a balance of
about 2 1/2 gold pieces
owed to Oodles of Strudel
for your first shift.
- Let's get drunk!
I bring Kristen a drink
because I can see her,
because I have my divination thing.
- Thank you. What is it?
- It was in the fridge in a bucket.
- It might be milk.
- It could be milk. We only
know where the milk fridge is.
- It's probably milk!
- It's milk.
- [Siobhan] It's milk?
- But there's vodka in it.
Smells like there's vodka in it.
- I think somebody just found a bucket
and poured milk and vodka into the bucket.
- It's delicious. It's delicious.
- I batched a milk vodka.
- Oh my god. Wow.
- We made jungle juice
before you all came over!
This is what they drink
in the jungle, yes?
- Okay. I feel like a bad baby.
- The vodka kinda covers
the taste of the milk,
so that's good.
- Yeah, and the milk actually
kinda covers the taste of the vodka.
You can only taste one at a time.
- Yeah.
- I choose milk this time. Mm!
Now vodka.
Oh!
- We should see if any of the Rat Grinders
came to the party.
- Oh sh*t.
Good idea. - [Murph] Can we
look around for Rat Grinders?
- I'm still invisible. Can I get close?
- We should also talk to Ragh,
so maybe you stay on line, Gorgug.
Is that cool?
- It's just sort of not-
- 'Cause we're gonna go grab a drink
and also see if anyone else is around.
- Grab a drink and just see everyone.
- Can you stay in line
and also carry my coat?
- Don't worry, Gorgug, I'll stay with you!
[whispering] All right, guys.
- So, Kristen.
I hope you feel comfortable
enough at a certain point
to just take the invisibility-
- I don't do this to you.
I don't do this to you.
I don't do this to you.
- Anyone who wants to, go ahead and make
an Investigation roll
or a Perception roll.
- Okay, I'll do Investigation.
I'm rolling like Beardsley now.
Everyone was yelling at me pre-show.
[die clatters]
- That's great.
- I put his dice in the full moon.
- 27.
- Look at that.
- [Siobhan] There we go.
- [Brennan] 27, hell yeah.
- I got a 12.
- A new dawn.
- As you're going out, you
guys kinda stay in a cluster.
You get out to a back
courtyard where the music
[muffled party music]
is thumping out of the
house, but not as present.
It's cool, lovely, early
September evening out here.
There's some fireflies
out in the hedgerows.
You see there's a massive
topiary Bill Seacaster
just bellowing and swinging
a flowering scimitar blade.
His giant pirate falchion is like,
ooh, beautiful pink
blossoms along the blade.
You see that there is
a giant ping-pong table
set up out here.
You see right now that
Skrank and Shellford
from the AV club are playing beer pong
against two other Aguefort
kids, it looks like.
There's sort of a short-sleeved button-up,
but a kind of muscular, handsome
blue dragon student
with some spectacles on
his long, draconic snout.
You see is standing next to
a young sylvan, elven woman.
You would guess they're
probably juniors or seniors.
- Do they have Rat Grinder...?
- No, you don't see that they have
a Rat Grinder button on them.
You get out to sort of
look around this area.
I think on a 27 Investigation,
you don't see Kipperlilly anywhere here.
Ruben is not here.
You haven't found Mary Ann,
but Mary Ann's quite small.
You do see, standing at
the sidelines of this game,
wearing black pants,
black shoes, black socks,
white button-up shirt with a little badge
of the Church of Helio-
- [whispering] The cleric.
- ...is a little blond,
hair is kind of slicked down,
human who has a little corncob staff
and a beer can in his hand.
- It's filled with water!
- He looks and says,
[southern accent] "Wow,
what a rousing game of sports, y'all.
This is so lovely, that
everyone could come together
and be together in fellowship
here at this beautiful party."
- Who's trying to feel like a bad baby?
I've got some spiked milk for you.
- Why does it look like you're
spreading it like frosting?
- It's a paintbrush and you
just get your face painted.
- [Siobhan] So surprisingly thick.
- I can just perfectly
see how bad the ladle is.
- Let's turn this beer
pong into milk pong.
- Yeah, I'd like to fill
everyone there's cups,
including the beer can, with spiked milk.
- Everyone's got spiked
milk in their beer cans.
Do you try to spike the kid?
- Oh yeah!
Who's a bad baby? You're a bad baby?
- He looks like a bad baby to me, Fabian.
- He looks like a bad baby! Open up!
- Mr. Seacaster, goo goo ga ga.
I'm afraid I'm a good
baby, so thank you so much.
[Lou sighs]
[Siobhan scoffs]
- Since I'm invisible, can I
lean over the can and sniff?
Do I smell actual beer?
- You smell pure water.
- Yeah, that's right.
Oldest trick in the book! I stop myself.
- He goes, "Lord? Helio?"
- Yes, it's me.
- [Brennan] Give me a Deception roll.
- [Emily] Can I give them the Help action?
- If I've ever wanted to crit in my life!
[sighs] No. Okay, Deception?
Oh! 19.
- Ooh!
- Oh, all right.
- You, Fabian, are looking into his eyes
as you see he begins weeping and goes,
"Lord Helio, I've heard you
speak to me so many times,
but never in this voice."
- Totally, bro.
You gotta drink the milk.
You gotta drink a ton of that
baby milk, the bad baby milk.
- [Murph] He doesn't need
to drink the baby milk!
- Lord Helio, show your vision to me.
In your wisdom, why must
I drink the bad baby milk?
- You gotta drink all the bad-
- Don't make him drink the bad-
- Drink all the bad baby milk you can.
- Mr. Seacaster, that's on me.
You are a host and I don't
wanna be a bad guest.
Can you fill up this red
solo cup with bad baby milk?
- I happily can.
- That's full enough.
That's almost tipping over.
- Now you gotta go tell
the Applebees parents
that their daughter's so good.
- Roll another Deception check.
- You gotta go right to their house.
- Wait, why would you...
Why would you give him so
much liquor and then say,
go to my parents house and
tell them that I'm good?
- I don't actually want
him to drink liquor
that he doesn't wanna
drink. I'm self-sabotaging.
- You see he holds it and says,
"Now, is this really
Helio or is this someone
who might be a little
bit more lost than that?
And Mr. Seacaster, I apologize,
but I'm gonna have to
pour this baby milk back."
- [Ally] I kiss him deeply on the mouth.
- I'm gonna walk up as Kristen Applebees.
- You see he goes, "Helio, I'm sorry!"
- As I run away, I go, perfect alibi.
- I heard that these high
school parties in Solace
were wild, but whew, this is really wild!
- It's a new year and it's a new era.
- So your father got
this house from theft.
- Mm, well...
- He was a privateer.
- No, we don't say that
anymore. We had a big fight.
He was a pirate. He k*lled
and m*rder*d lots of people.
But I guess this ship was his.
- Well, I know in my heart
that in his final moments,
he must have repented and gone-
- No.
No.
He's in Hell now.
- No!
- Fighting the Devil himself.
- No, don't say that about your-
- No, I've visited him.
- Oh, he's so happy there. He
would not like it in Heaven.
- Yes, he actually really likes it there.
He got a third arm.
- His boat is made of a dragon. It's rad.
- It's pretty cool. You
should go to Hell sometime.
I mean, I know you don't
want to, but it's fun.
- So, I'm gonna give this milk back.
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
- Well, if you choose to be a bad baby-
- I'll take it!
- Yes.
- I'm double fisting bad baby milk.
- We've got a whole year for you to decide
you wanna be a bad baby.
- No, if I was gonna be a
baby, I would want to be a baby
that walks in the light of the corn god.
- Oh, that's so...
You know, our friend Kristen
was a big cornhead when we met.
I mean, I guess that's rude to say.
Was a big follower of Helio
when we first met her.
- She was the chosen one.
- Yes.
- [Siobhan] Sure.
- She was chosen by Helio.
- Who's the chosen one now? You?
You're the chosen one?
- Are you the chosen one?
- Are you the chosen one now?
- Here, you see he gets
kinda somber and he says,
"Well, that's not really how it works.
When Kristen left the church,
we lost our chosen one."
- Oh.
- Mm.
- How's things working out
with her new god, though?
- Oh my god, her new god is, like, rad.
- So sick.
- So sick. So many people love her.
- Yeah, I follow-
- And they get on really well.
- Yeah, they have awesome...
There's this guy that they
hang out with named Craig.
- Oh, that guy rules.
- Craig is a firecracker!
- And okay, Helio chose her,
but she chose Cassandra.
- Yes.
- That's important.
- I'm crying.
- So, you know, it's
awesome. It's awesome.
- Yeah.
- Well, that's lovely.
Is Kristen around somewhere?
I mean, other than
right here. Hi, Kristen.
- I forgot I was here.
I'm glad that you said
all those true things about me.
- [Lou] Of course.
- I'm gonna go do another shrimp jump.
- Yes, hold it down!
- Another shrimp jump?
- You're gonna do another one?
It can't possibly be as good as the first!
- Oh, you'll see about that.
- We'll see about that.
- [Brennan] It can't possibly
be as good as the first!
- You're right, it can't possibly be
as good as the first, that's true.
- Okay!
- Maybe just-
- Hey everybody, we're about
to see another shrimp jump!
Here we go!
- Rack 'em up, rack 'em up, rack 'em up!
- [Brennan] The Hangman...
[mimics engine revving]
- Hangman, I need you to
move that fiery tartar sauce
to light the ramp on fire
so we can't do this, okay?
- You need me to burn the
ramp so that it is unusable?
- Yeah.
- Very well.
You see that the Hangman says,
"Ah, I'm going to put my
shrimp costume back on,"
and then goes around a hedge
and emerges in hellhound form.
You see that Buddy goes,
"Oh my God! A servant of the Devil!"
You see that he says, "Go f*ck yourself!"
and then rushes off and breathes fire
all over the ramp and sets fire to it.
- Oh sh*t!
[players groaning]
- Gorgug is inside.
- That sucks.
- Smells good.
- All that butter.
- Warm, browning butter.
- The dill gives it a
little bit of piquancy.
- Where are your friends at?
- My friends?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, your crew.
- Kipperlilly Copperkettle.
- Your adventuring party.
- Oh, my adventuring party.
Well, I'm so excited.
Obviously, I moved here during the summer
with my grandfather and grandmother
from Highcourt, which is where I grew up.
But I'm so excited to join.
Kipperlilly, she is so bright.
She is such a blessing and a gift.
And Ruben is so incredibly talented.
- Sure, and you're cool with
the song that he has about,
"In Space No One Can Feel You Dying"?
You're cool with that?
- You know, it's not the type of music
that I would listen to but, you know,
I think you can all agree that, you know,
adventuring parties bring people together
from disparate walks of life.
- Can I do an Insight
check on his positivity?
Is it authentic?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
That is a 17.
- I think you recognize it
from growing up in the church
and growing up amongst the Harvestmen.
On first glance, the fact that
Buddy is here fraternizing,
unless there's some
secret nefarious reason
that he's here to do this, right,
would put him in a different category
from the Harvestmen or Coach Daybreak.
Coach Daybreak would
not be able to be here
and not be aggressive and
hostile to people, right?
But it doesn't mean
that all of Buddy's positivity is sincere.
I think you would read
it in a more nuanced way.
Buddy's positivity is partially
coming from a genuine place.
That genuine place is deeply judgmental,
but maybe some part of him
wants what's best for other people,
but that wanting what's
best for other people
is cloaked in a really myopic
sort of Manichaean worldview.
So it's the mix of-
it's all the good and bad stuff
that you would-
- It's extremely recognizable.
- Extremely recognizable.
I don't think Kristen
would clock it as positive,
but that doesn't mean
it's not genuine, right?
It has all the problems you associate...
You were this kid, so it's like,
whatever you didn't
like about your old self
you feel like, oh, it's
present in this kid
who's also drinking
water out of a beer can
and is here being like,
"I genuinely love everyone at this party,
and I wanna keep you from doing
the choices that are
wrong that you're making."
- You know, that vibe, right?
- Yeah, totally. Aw, okay.
- So why'd you join the Rat Grinders?
Did you just get placed on them,
or did you choose them specifically?
- Yeah, did you replace someone?
- I was requested specifically.
- Okay, so there must...
Do you know, did something
happen to somebody on their team?
Because you just joined
now, junior year, right?
- I just joined this last
summer, that's right.
- Do you know if they
had any former members?
- Can I look at a yearbook?
Do you have a yearbook?
- Yes, somewhere.
- Can I look at a yearbook
and find the Rat Grinders
from previous years?
- [Brennan] Yeah, give me a
little Investigation check.
[die rolling]
- Can I help and do a little
History check or something?
- Yeah, do a little History check.
- How did they even find out about him?
- 18.
- Did we get an email
that none of us read?
- 18, you're gonna go in
and look for a yearbook.
- 15.
- [Brennan] So Kristen and double Kristen-
- Okay, I'll go with you,
'cause I wanna come back to
the party so we can switch.
- Invisible Kristen and visible Kristen
head off to Fabian's room.
- I'm giving everyone really
idiosyncratic high fives.
- As you guys are talking
to Buddy out on the lawn,
I think Riz, you're
peeled a little way away.
You see some kids are coming up to you.
You see this very short,
sort of anthropomorphic
mole person comes up to you.
You recognize him. His
name is Molman Holden.
He comes up and says,
"Hey, I saw that you're
applying to join the Soil Club!"
- Yeah, love soil.
- Awesome, well, I just wanna say
this party absolutely rules.
We don't get invited to a ton of parties.
I just wanna say,
you can count on our vote
for Kristen Applebees.
- Oh, great! Great, good, yeah!
- We're gonna organize with the other...
There's over a dozen of us,
so we're ready to hit the bricks.
- Well, now there's gonna be 13 or 14,
'cause I'm joining the Soil Club.
- Uh-oh, a gardener's dozen!
- That is what we say in Soil Club.
- [Brennan] A couple other random-
you see that there's a tiny,
another goblin actually,
comes over with a leather jacket,
a pure white silk scarf, and
aviator helmet and goggles.
- I think Riz fully does not remember,
'cause he just signed up for everything.
So Soil Club, he's like,
first time I'm ever hearing about it.
- You see this little
goblin who is basically like
a weird other flavor of you freshman year
comes over and goes, "Sprak LeFevre!
I'm the president of the
Aguefort Aviation League."
- Yeah!
- Pleasure to have you on board, old boy!
- Psyched to... fly?
- Yes!
- Yeah, that's what aviation is.
- I have a number of biplanes,
ornithopters, and hot air balloons!
Take to the great blue yonder!
- All right.
- That'll be great for doing little signs.
"Vote for Kristen" in the sky!
- A giant banner?
- Yeah!
- Hot air balloons blotting the sky.
"Vote for Kristen Applebees."
You see he says,
"You can count on the
entire Aviation League.
We'll be right behind you,
gunning down there in the channel.
We'll be manning the trenches
for President Applebees,
and I say, there's not a shot in hell
that she doesn't make it
all the way to the top!"
- Thanks. How many people
are in the aviation club?
- Five!
- Five? Okay, yeah.
We got like 18 votes here. This is great.
That's great, I'll see you
at the meeting on Tuesday?
Wednesday? Thursday?
- We meet at 7 AM,
Monday, Wednesday, Friday,
and at 12 midnight Tuesday, Thursday.
- Of course, 'cause then you wanna go home
and nap for an hour or two
and then go right back
to the aviation meeting
because we love flying so much. Of course.
- Precisely, and of course
the Monday morning meeting,
we're all quite well-rested.
But it's those Wednesdays and Fridays
that you have to rub the
sand from your eyes, old boy.
- Yes.
- Ha ha!
- Nothing better than flying on no sleep.
- Well, from one 16 year old to another,
you have a good time, old sport!
- Adaine, you need a job, right?
- I really need a job.
- Great, you can work the door
at the next party, all right?
- Okay, sure.
- We need these votes!
Aviation votes count!
- Do you need these votes?
- Five! I secured like 17 votes!
- They're gonna fly banners, okay?
- I got the soil votes,
I got the aviation votes!
- Everyone on the beach is gonna see,
"Vote for Kristen Applebees!"
- Fine, I guess we need the aviation vote.
- Are there any other
wizard kids at this party?
- You look over and I think
you both see, at the table,
the blue dragonborn and the sylvan elf.
You see that the blue dragonborn has
a couple Conjuration glyphs
tattooed into his scales.
You see she says,
"Are you gonna make us wait
all night for you to take this shot?"
And you see he says, "It's all a system.
This is just geometry
and applied... physics."
And you see that this
ping-pong ball lands, bloop,
right into the front cup.
A big cheer goes up and the person drinks.
But you see that he has a
spellbook holstered at his belt.
- Wow, nice shot.
You want bad baby milk?
We're all drinking it.
- I'm a reptile, so this'll be
my first encounter with milk.
Thank you.
- He's gonna be so lactose intolerant
if he hasn't been drinking it.
- That's awful. That's really nasty.
- It's bad, but it's strong,
and cold. It was cold.
How is it? Is it cold?
- No, I would say at this point
it's kind of room temperature.
Has it been in your hand for a while?
- I can cold it up for you, if you like.
Can I just cast Ray of Frost on the glass?
- [Brennan] Give me an Arcana
to not totally freeze the drinks.
[die rolling]
- Oh, okay. That's a 23.
- You glance off the surface,
just perfectly chilling it.
He goes, "Somehow much more palatable."
- Yeah, when it's so
cold you can't taste it,
it's actually pretty good.
- And it's just about
getting it down the hatch.
- Yeah, it's like you basically
want it to be a slushie.
- Ooh, it is. Yeah, it's like a frozen-
- There's little icy crystals in it.
- You see he goes, "Oisin."
- Adaine.
- Adaine, it's nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you. Are you a wizard?
- I am. I'm a conjurer.
- That's amazing. Are you in our year?
I have never taken a class with you.
Are you a senior or something?
- Give me a History
check with disadvantage.
- Oh no.
- Oh!
[dice rolling]
- Goddammit, I rolled
a 20, but that's a 10.
- You see he says, "We had
one History of Glyphs class
on Thursday mornings in freshman
year, but I don't know-"
- Oh.
- I had a growth-
You see that the elf looks over.
You see she says, "Oisin,
you gonna introduce me?
He got buff this summer. That's
why no one recognizes him."
- Oh yeah, that happened to
my friend Kristen as well.
She got really buff this summer,
and nobody's recognizing her.
- Ivy.
- Adaine. It's so nice to meet you.
- Lovely to meet you
as well. k*ller party.
You're one of the Bad Kids, yeah?
- Yeah, yeah, that's definitely the name.
If you hear us going by any
other names, that's not it.
- You hear me loudly
talking to the soil kids
about being the PhotosyntheKIDs.
- [Brennan] You see Skrank goes, [squawks]
"Are we playing or not?
What the f*ck is going on?"
- Skrank, hey! How's it going?
- Oh. [squawks] It's pretty good.
- Good.
- You can tell Riz he's
got the AV Club locked in.
- Hell yeah, and there's
like six of us, right?
- Yeah, it's the four of us,
the two freshmen who joined this year.
- Oh, okay, great.
- Yeah.
- So that's six.
- That's six. Rackin' 'em up!
- We're rackin' 'em up.
- Shellford goes,
"Are we, uh...
gonna be here all-"
- Isn't it your throw?
- You see he goes, "Oh sh*t,"
and starts to c*ck back.
- We have like 25 minutes.
- Yeah, you see Oisin goes,
"Yeah, it's very, very exciting."
- Yeah, sorry, Thursday
mornings were rough for me
'cause we were doing full-
- 'Cause you were basically
nonexistent that year.
- Yeah, no, we were doing other stuff.
Can I ask you a question?
- Sure.
- Did you also have to get
Was that a thing that-
- Yeah, yeah.
- And you could just...
That was just something you could do?
- Not something I could do, but my
great-great-great-great-great grandmother
is still alive.
- Oh, wow.
- And she lives on a
mountain of treasure, so...
- Oh, that's so cool.
- Yeah, she sorta has
those barrels tucked away.
- Right, yeah, yeah, that's...
You like her? She's a fun-
- I don't know her too well.
I mean, that many generations,
she sort of has thousands
of descendants, you know?
- Sure, okay, so you can
just write to her and say,
hey Grandma, what's up?
- Yeah. Yeah, essentially.
- Damn, that's-
- Yeah.
- Good for you, good
for you. That's great.
- Are you having a hard time with-
- No, no no no, I was just
wondering if that was normal
or if it was just our class
that had to do that.
But if it's normal, then that's great.
And the eggs? You got all the eggs?
- Yeah, I mentioned all that stuff.
But your family is from Fallinel, right?
- Yeah, no, yeah, no, I've got old family.
I've got a lot of old family, so...
- Ivy looks over and says,
"Family from Fallinel. Lots of scratch."
- Yep, that's us. We're really rich.
- Hey, it's nice-
- I would much rather
these people not know
any of the details of how I k*lled my dad
and how my mum is being
chased by a van with hands.
- Give me a Deception check.
- Damn.
[die rolling]
Damn, hot dragonborn
'bout to know your sh*t.
'Bout to see right through you.
- That's a six. So you
got tattoos and stuff?
That's so cool.
Your parents are just cool
with you having tattoos?
'Cause they're really cool.
- Yeah, yeah.
- You just get them.
- Oh yeah, no, they're kind of an aid
for conjuration, spellcasting.
- Sure, sure, sure.
Oh, you're a conjuration wizard?
- Yeah, I'm a summoner.
- That makes sense.
- Summoner specialist.
- Sure, sure.
- These actually make it
so that I can't lose focus
on a conjuration spell
from distraction, injury.
- That's rad.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Damn.
- You see he leans in and he goes,
"You know, my great-great...
We just call her my ancestor."
- Sure, sure, sure.
- She actually a little
bit over-delivered,
so if you wanna borrow
some at the next class-
- Oh, no no no, I'm
good. Fallinel, you know?
- Hey, yeah, I hear you.
- Yeah.
- Fallinel. Well, listen-
- But thank you.
I bet there's somebody else
who would probably really,
really appreciate it.
- For sure.
- You're great. I run away.
- You see he says, "If
you ever wanna study..."
You see Ivy sort of makes
fun of him a little bit.
From that point on,
anyone in the yard sees
Oisin cannot make a shot.
Every ping-pong ball hits
off the rim of a solo cup.
Just ping-pong ba*ls.
One of them goes into an upper
story window of Seacaster-
Ping, bang! Ah, sh*t!
- Damn, Fig, are you infectious?
- What?
- Your game's off! Oisin, focus!
By the way, I think unabashedly,
Ivy looks over at Fabian and goes,
"Your ping-pong table's f*cked up.
Legs are different lengths, yeah?"
- f*ck you.
- Is that a threat?
- I run away. Adaine, Adaine!
- I'm just in the fridge
with the bad baby milk.
- Who are those hot people
out by the ping-pong table?
- I don't know!
- I said f*ck you to one,
and they were like, is that a threat?
- This guy offered me
diamonds and I ran away!
- You what?
- I know!
- Doesn't he know how rich you are?
- Yeah, I told him! I
told him how rich I am!
- Okay. Oh sh*t.
- Here.
- More milk.
[guzzling desperately]
- We cut back to Gorgug.
We cut back to Gorgug. You
get to the front of the line.
Ragh is going, [panting]
"Give me the f*cking chips."
You see a bag of chips,
tortilla. His mouth is so dry.
I need to carbo-load. 10th
one, undefeated crab king.
Everyone can suck a nut. f*ck off.
- Ragh, you wanna take a break?
- I'll take a break when I
break your f*cking spine.
Hoot growl, b*tch! Get on
the f*cking crab mountain!
- Hoot, growl.
Gorgug climbs up.
I just wanted to talk about something.
We just had a wild night.
- Talk to the f*ck' fist,
'cause the a*s doesn't
wanna f*ck' blast, dude.
- The a*s doesn't wanna blast?
- I'm so tired. Listen,
square up, m*therf*cker!
- Okay.
- He's gonna make Athletics.
He's out of rages, so he
can't do this with advantage.
- I don't feel like raging.
- Great, I'll roll in front of the board.
He adds a plus 10 to Athletics.
[die rolling]
- sh*t.
Okay.
- Cool.
- I got an eight to my Athletics,
so I can't beat him
unless I roll a nat 20.
- Here we go. Here we go.
[die rolling]
[players groaning]
He pushes you to the edge.
You're one step away from going off.
- I go into a rage.
- Okay, he's like, "Oh, what are you?
A little mollusk? A little barnacle?"
- What the f*ck are you talking about?
- Does your tongue stretch out
length, you little b*tch?
- What do you mean?
I'm not a mollusk!
- You're a little b*tch.
They have to scrape you off
of ships, you little b*tch.
- You're not the f*cking crab king.
I'm the crab king, b*tch.
- I'm the f*cking crab
king! He's gonna roll again.
That is a 24. You roll with advantage.
[dice rolling]
- 17 plus 8.
- 25!
Okay, you push him back to the center.
He's gassed.
Oh, you think that's what's up?
Yeah, man. f*ck you!
- If you're the crab
king, I'm the fisherman.
- Well, fisherman, guess what?
These waters are restricted!
You have to throw me
back or you'll be fined!
- I'll throw you back. I'll
throw you back right now.
I'm not afraid to provide for my family.
[die rolling]
- 21.
[dice rolling]
- 8 plus 14.
- 22! You've got him right on the edge.
- Yeah!
- So tight.
- He goes, [grunting]
"What's up, m*therf*cker?
Okay, listen, listen.
If you push me too hard, I'm gonna sh*t."
- What are you talking about?
- I think I developed
something after freshman year
when you guys made up that
lie about sh1tting my pants,
but after that, I started
to really sh*t my pants.
- We made you sh*t your pants?
- No dude, just, if
you're gonna push me off,
just don't do it too hard, okay?
- Do you wanna push me off?
- What's that?
- Do you wanna push me off?
- There could be talent scouts here, dude.
- How much bad milk did you have?
- Oh, I thought that was just milk!
I was doing it to carbo-load.
- It's milk.
- What?
- Carbo-load on milk!
- I was doing it to carbo-load, dude.
- Well, it's bad 'cause
it's got vodka in it,
but milk is milk.
- I think I ate some
glass. That was vodka?
- Here, just throw me off and
have a conversation with me.
- All right, one more check.
He gets a 24.
- I choose to fail.
- You choose to fail. He hurls you off.
- Whoa! I've been bested!
- Okay!
Crab king is victorious.
Gonna go lie down.
You see he goes over
somewhere to lie down,
just over on a sofa.
There's these huge leather sofas
with golden skull and crossbones
as the studs everywhere.
What's up, m*therf*cker?
- Hey, not much.
I wanted to check in with you about...
Well, we just...
It's been a while since
we talked about this,
but we just kinda had a situation happen
with Kristen's god and there
was all this red glowing stuff
came out of it, and it made me remember
what was going on with your mom last year.
And then also, I feel like if Riz was here
he could explain this
better, but there was some-
I think Kalina was there.
- Kalina's back?
- Yeah, I probably should've
led with that. I'm sorry.
She said Ragh.
- She said my name?
Like she's gonna come
after me or k*ll my mom?
- No, I don't think she's
coming. I think she was like-
- I need to rally. I need to rally.
You see he gets up,
wanders out onto the lawn,
puts two fingers... [puking]
Gotta rally, gotta get
sober. My mom's in danger!
Get it together, Barkrock!
Why did you waste all your
rages being crab king?
- You never know when
you're gonna need 'em.
- You never know when
you're gonna need 'em!
That was stupid!
- I'm just gonna yell for Riz.
- [Brennan] Riz, you're
still out on the lawn.
You come over.
- Great, yeah, I'll go over.
- Hey, I kinda told him
your story about what happened.
I don't know how to-
- So there was a god
that was going through
some kind of- was having-
anger was escaping through these red gems
that were possessing people
and filling them with rage.
And then Kalina- who is back
but we don't know what's going on
because now that the
Nightmare King is gone,
Cassandra manifested
Kalina again, I guess,
and Kalina seemed shady but
also seemed to legitimately
be helping Cassandra, so it's
possible that she takes on
the traits of whoever
she's the familiar of.
So she might be a good guy?
I don't know what's going on.
But she did say your name specifically,
not in a threatening way, but
in a "he will save us" way,
while she was getting taken over
by one of the red gems
that was very similar to
what happened with your mom.
So I think you are the true crab king.
- I bow.
- End on sugar. End on sweet.
- I also bow.
Confused, looking at Gorgug.
- We've just got to build
him up a little bit.
- So you're telling me
that in the same year
that I gotta get ready for tryouts
for the Bastion City Buccaneers,
that I've been chosen to save Cassandra?
- Maybe?
- Maybe?
- Does that mean something to you?
- It means a lot.
- Do you recognize...
Do you remember something that that...
- Do you know Cassandra outside of us-
- I was there, dude, yeah.
I was with you, yeah.
We f*ck' threw down.
I'm gonna find Cassandara.
- Okay.
- Listen, I'm a straight-up barbarian,
but if you need cleric numero
dos and I'm the chosen one-
- No, it's not exactly-
- Let's talk.
- I think it's something to do with those
red rage spheres
that maybe you could help with,
or maybe we can talk to
your mom and also you,
and maybe we can all
figure it out together.
- Yeah.
You see he really struggles.
You see that- he loves you guys a lot
and wants to say something that
solves the mystery for you,
but I think you watch him not get it.
- Got it.
- And he goes,
"Yeah, the rage stars.
So, like, I've never
seen a rage star per se."
- Right.
- But red glowing crystal sh*t,
that's the f*ck' fiend that
she's capturing in that gem,
and she uses her rage
to, like, contain it.
- Yeah, so I think something like that
might need to be done again.
- Do you guys want...
I could text my mom right
now if we wanna talk to her.
I don't know if you wanna do
it- skip the party and go.
- Maybe tomorrow?
- Yeah.
- Could we come over tomorrow?
- Tomorrow's f*ck' Saturday.
Dude, she'll make a f*ck' sick spread.
- Okay.
- All right, let's go
have a sick spread. Great.
- Dude, I'll text her right now.
You see he gets out his
crystal and texts Mom,
"Mom, sick spread.
Crystal demon questions.
Riz, Gorgug. You down?" And then texts it.
And you see that it's just
a f*cking enormous wall
of the surrounded by hearts smiling emoji.
He's like, "My mom is the f*ck' best!
We're gonna get to the
bottom of this, okay?
f*ck', you know."
- Let's do it.
- f*ck' Bad Kids auxiliary
corps to the f*ck' report.
- You mean the crab king?
- Crab king.
- Crab king, when the lobster prince
and the shrimp majordomo need help,
then that's what's up.
- That's awesome. Thank you, Ragh.
- I put my hand in.
- Crustacean nation!
We cut to Kristen and
Fig up in Fabian's room.
What's the state of Fabian's room
at the end of this first week
where there's nobody at your home?
- There's just so many clothes.
Clearly Fabian walks in, takes
off whatever he's wearing,
throws it just on the ground,
or puts it on the bed,
and then it eventually
gets moved onto the ground.
So that kind of has just
been a five day cycle
of clothes come off,
bed, floor, bed, floor.
- So a bunch of clothing
from a week of intense dance lessons.
The funk that hits you as you walk-
- I'm gonna steal some
in case I ever need to
Disguise Self as Fabian.
- [Ally] What are you doing?
- I'm stealing some of Fabian's clothing.
- Okay. Those are all filthy.
- I know, but that will sell it,
'cause I'll have the authentic funk.
- Oh, totally. Totally, totally.
- Yeah.
- I do have a unique funk.
- You guys go and find a yearbook.
Freshman year photos
of all the different adventuring parties.
Fig, you find a picture.
It has a little photo, freshman
year adventurers. Braces.
You see that there is
a tiny little pigtailed
Kipperlilly Copperkettle,
and you see that the label
on the adventuring party
doesn't say the Rat Grinders.
- What does it say?
- It says, "The High 5 Heroes."
- Lame!
- The High 5 Heroes. You see Ruben.
He doesn't have any emo to him at all.
You see he's got a little acoustic guitar.
He's holding it and smiling, big braces.
Mary Ann Skuttle is there,
who is somehow even smaller,
wearing the exact same fuchsia sweater,
purple pants, with a
little plushy ladybug.
Her fashion has not changed at all.
You see Buddy Dawn is obviously not there.
You see that there is a very tall,
rare type of genasi
who has a very strong-
she almost looks like an earth genasi
or some kind of, almost giant-ish.
But you see that she is
actually a frost genasi,
a rare para-elemental genasi.
Her name is Lucy
Frostblade. She is a cleric.
And there are two other
people in this party.
A very scrawny blue dragonborn
named Oisin Hakinvar,
and Ivy Embra rounding out the
six-person adventuring party.
- Wow.
- Hmm.
- I'm just gonna rip the page out.
- Wait, Fig, we're in Fabian's room.
We're not in the library.
You can't just do that here.
- Take a picture of it on your phone!
- sh*t, it's too late.
I rip out another page.
- What?
- [Zac] It's not the library!
You can't rip pages out!
- I just like this teacher.
- Before we go back out there,
I was kinda thinking about
giving myself a makeover
for this party of just
the everywoman, you know?
So I think I'm gonna do a low ponytail,
cowboy hat, Wrangler jeans,
button-up white dress shirt
with a tie that's untucked.
- What about some neck tattoos?
- I love that.
- Like a soccer goalie?
- I love that.
- Premier League goalie tattoos.
- Let's do a lion with
a crown on right here,
and then let's do the Serenity
Prayer down this side.
- Okay, I'm drawing this in.
- All right, great.
- And then are you gonna
also look the same?
- Did you have that in your to-do list?
- No, the Wranglers were there.
Okay, great. Oh my gosh, we look amazing.
- Yeah, I morph to also be this.
So which side of the party
are you gonna take first?
- Great call, yeah. We
should split up our turf.
- Also, do we have any talking points
that we really wanna hit?
- Oh, definitely.
Oh, definitely. Okay.
- Are we gonna distance ourself
from the steelworkers union?
- No, no, we're going
hard steelworkers union.
- Okay, okay.
- Nothing high schoolers love more.
- That's kind of actually the
only talking point I have,
and I quickly write down everything I know
about the steelworkers union on a card
and give it to you so that
you can talk about that a lot.
- I put it in place of the page
I ripped out of the yearbook.
- And all it says is,
"There's a face behind
every piece of steel that you
use in your day to day life."
- Okay, but do we have any
promises that we wanna make-
- To the steel-
- ...to the school, though?
- Oh, yeah.
- To the steelworkers?
- I mean, I agree with you
that the steelworkers union
are important in our campaign.
- Yeah.
- Because I'm you, so of
course I agree with you.
I'm having some character bleed as you.
So we agree, we agree on that.
But should we start
brainstorming some stuff?
Big promises we wanna make?
- That's such a good call.
- Like the classic chocolate
milk in the water fountain.
- Oh yeah, okay, yeah, we gotta beat that.
- Maybe we could make a promise that,
one day a year, the students
get to be a teacher?
- Yes!
One day a year, the students get to go
completely take over the
steelworkers factory.
- Okay, that's so dangerous.
- Okay, all right, yeah, you're right.
- So dangerous.
- They get to be the teacher.
One day a year, all the
teachers have to be a student.
- Or we could just do
something like better parking.
- Oh yeah.
- We could get infrared sauna for the gym.
- We could have Fetty Wap.
- Fetty Wap!
Okay, Fetty Wap at homecoming.
- Fetty Wap at homecoming.
- Okay, say it with me.
- Fetty Wap at homecoming.
- Okay, break.
- And I kinda strut out. We
both have spurs on our boots.
It's kinda hard to walk.
We walk out, and we-
- Walking out from the same place.
- Hopefully no one saw that.
- Both of you walk out.
Tell me what you do as
you address the party.
People cheer loudly. Hey!
- I go to the iPod and change
it to a Fetty Wap song.
- Great, perfect.
- Let's license that. Great.
- We just licensed that.
- GL*CK in my 'rari.
- Big fan, big fan.
Okay, great, yeah, I
guess I would just love
to start shaking as
many hands as possible.
Just really spreading the message.
- Give me a Persuasion check.
- With advantage, because I'm also-
- Doing it?
- Yeah.
- 100%, great.
- Help action from the other me.
[dice rattling]
Persuasion, I get plus seven.
[dice rolling]
Okay, 22.
- Hell yeah. You are very persuasive.
I think the party atmosphere,
it's very distracting and moving.
You don't have to think about the shards
of your shattered goddess in your pocket.
You're just here talking about...
You come over to Max Durden,
who's the drow "Police state!" kid
who just joined the Owlbears.
He's like, "Kristen,
f*ck' awesome party!
This is so sick! And you're
super into student government?"
- Yeah, did you see that jump earlier?
- That was sick!
- That's the kind of president I'll be.
- You're gonna do jumps
like that at school?
- I'm gonna be kickflipping the system.
- Okay, what kinda stuff
do you wanna do as class president?
- You know Fetty Wap?
- Interesting question
for me here. Hold on.
No!
- Okay, all right, well,
some people do, and he might
be coming to homecoming.
He might be coming to
Aguefort's homecoming
if you vote for me in
about a year and a half.
It won't be this year,
but it might be next year.
- Gotcha. Okay.
- That's a problem for
next year, honestly.
- Hell yeah, awesome.
Are you the real you or is
the other one way over there-
- I duck.
- He goes, "Ah. Well, sick. Tight."
- Yeah.
- You see he goes, "I have some gorgenfern
if you wanna smoke up in the basement."
- Oh my gosh, that sounds so sick.
- Smoking in the basement?
- I'm the kind of candidate
you'd love to smoke some...
- Gorgenfern.
- Gorgenfern with. Is that right?
- Hell yeah, hell yeah. Let's do it.
- Great, I Message you and tell you
that that's what I'm up to.
- Okay, I think I have Message too.
I'm gonna Message you back and say,
I kinda wanna see if I get a reaction.
I think I'm gonna test something out,
so I'm gonna not be you for a little bit.
- Okay, okay.
- It's gonna be weird to not
be you. I feel home here.
- Maybe we can work with this, honestly.
- I kinda wanna stay on the outskirts.
I essentially wanna disguise myself as
Lucy Frostblade,
[players gasp]
but be in the distance to Oisin and Ivy.
- [Brennan] Cool. Cool, cool, cool.
- Almost as if you feel
haunted by someone,
and you think they-
- Do you want my help?
I don't have to go smoke with
this loser in the basement.
I could go look at their expressions.
- I mean, I think I'll
be able to clock it.
- Okay.
- I just wanna kinda be in the distance
and see what kind of emotional reaction,
but far enough that they're like,
"Wait, is that, is that not?"
- They're wrapping up a
dominating couple of rounds
at the beer pong table.
It's gotten to that moment
where it's probably good
to clear the table even if
you've been on a winning streak
just to free up some space.
Go ahead and give me a Stealth check
just to be only spotted by them.
- Okay.
[die rolling]
- Okay. Oisin does not notice you.
You see he stays, ping-pong ba*ls
flying off in all kinds
of different directions.
You see one, pling, bounces
off into the kitchen.
You hear someone go, "Hey! My solo cup!"
Ivy clocks you right
away, meets your gaze.
- What do I read in the reaction?
- Give me an Insight check.
- Come on.
[die rolling]
- 15.
- She looks up at you.
- I think I wanna wave and
then duck behind a topiary.
- As you're ducking, you see she goes...
And she says, "All
right, that's it for me,"
and you see that she begins-
she shoulders a bow over her
shoulder and begins to walk
into the hedge maze
close to where you are.
- Okay, I get the f*ck out of there.
- Give me a-
- I skateboard. I got
my skateboard to Dash.
- Cool.
- Turn back into Fig.
- Awesome. Go ahead and just
do a favor for me, though.
Give me a Stealth check as you do that.
[die rolling]
- Nine.
- Okay.
- Can I use a Luck point?
- Yeah, you can use a Luck point.
[die rolling]
- 12.
- Okay.
You take off. Riz, Gorgug,
Ragh, you're joined by Fabian.
Fabian, what are you doing here?
Your party is f*cking k*ller.
You see that someone has
spray painted "Maximum Legend"
on the keel of the Hangman,
of Seacaster Manor.
- I think it's the 50-50 feeling
of being like, this is so sick,
but I just watched Ragh
throw up all over the...
I have to live here tomorrow.
This is f*cking awesome!
Jesus Christ, get off the f*cking sofa.
Why is everyone climbing on everything?
All right, it'll be fine.
I'm f*cking maximum legend. Oh god!
- Fabian, what if I conjure
a bunch of ice mephits
and then they can chill the drinks?
- Yeah, that'd be sick. Do that.
Do that. That'd be f*cking awesome.
- Adaine is the drunkest
she has ever been.
- Give me a Persuasion
with advantage, Adaine.
[dice rolling]
- That is a dirty 20.
- Adaine, you're drunk as hell.
You conjure a bunch of little ice mephits,
these little [giggles] Snow Miser-looking,
"Hey there, fellas! It's
about to get frosty!"
And they go everywhere and
start breathing on drinks,
and Adaine, all of these
high schoolers turn around,
raising, and says, "Adaine, party wizard!"
- Keep it frosty, b*tches!
- As you go towards the pool,
you look at the shimmering
water of Fabian's swimming pool.
- You mean the shimmering
tartar sauce of Fabian's pool?
- Oh yes, you look at the shimmering,
scorched tartar sauce of
Fabian's swimming pool,
and you see Kristen in the reflection,
high schoolers everywhere,
giving an enormous, cheering speech.
A lot of people have birthday hats on.
You see that there's a big
thing that says election night,
but there's also birthday stuff around it.
You see the sky behind them is clear
with shimmering stars and a crescent moon,
and Kristen is delivering
a victory speech.
- This is the moment where
I realize how drunk I am
and the world sort of zooms in on the pool
and then zooms back out again,
and I suddenly feel very sick.
- You feel [sputters]
that sorta sick feeling.
- I gotta remember this,
I gotta remember this.
You're gonna give a speech at a birthday!
It's gonna be really good!
And then I vomit on her shoes.
- For all of you who are
in a little crowd together,
you see Max Durden comes up and is like,
"What's up, fellow Owlbears?
We're gonna go f*ck' smoke
on some gorgenfern down
in the basement, so."
- Oh, hell yeah, dude.
- Awesome, we'll catch up with you.
- Are we not? I mean,
we're not gonna toke up?
- Actually, we should probably
have a little meeting.
- Oh, okay. Well then, I'll
have to catch you later.
- Save a little bit for us, though.
- Save some.
- I'll save a little bit for you.
- Hey, and if you could open
the window down there, that'd be great.
There's a little sliding
window on the far side.
If you guys could smoke
over there, that'd be great.
- Can I ask you a question?
- Yeah.
- Did you get the gorgon weed yourself?
- Hm?
- Where'd you get it?
- What are you, a f*cking cop?
- No, just, like, if I wanna buy some.
- Oh yeah, who's your guy?
- He's not a cop.
- Or girl, or them.
- He hates cops.
- Who's your person?
- [whispering] What is everyone doing?
- [Siobhan] Who's your guy?
- He gets a little nervous and he's like-
- You don't have to tell me.
- He's like, "If you need some,
I'd be happy to give you...
I just get a number and
it gets dropped off."
- Oh, okay. Yeah, no worries.
- Everybody got so grown up. It's awesome.
- You see that Max heads off.
All of you are sort of isolated.
All six of you are together.
- I think I relay all the Ragh stuff.
- I take out the crumpled
page of Fabian's yearbook.
- Wait, why didn't you
just bring the book down?
- Oh, this was just easier.
- There was no time.
- There was no time.
- We had to pull a library.
- There were a bunch of signatures...
Okay, yeah, all right.
- If you need, I can
carry the book next time.
- You can read these notes
if you wanna see them one last time.
- That one's really heartfelt.
- I wrote the whole thing.
- Yeah, damn.
You were one of my first
friends ever, Fabian.
- This is actually mostly The Ball's.
I actually don't mind.
You can rip that page.
- [Murph] Excuse me! I
can give you another copy.
- I put it out and I'm like,
this was the original adventuring party,
and I maybe fumbled some intel gathering
on finding out if Ivy
recognized Lucy Frostblade.
I kinda did a little Disguise Self
figure in the crowd maneuver.
- What if Lucy was dead, or is dead?
- Well, so that's what I
kinda wanted to suss out.
I thought she was dead and I gonna see-
- Wouldn't that make them really sad?
- You did it by disguising
yourself as their dead friend?
- Yeah, why didn't you just ask somebody?
I'm sure somebody else-
- You gotta ask somebody,
not impersonate the dead person!
- Do not impersonate their dead friend!
- You could ask Kristen,
who is in cleric classes.
- I can impersonate the
dead when I want to.
- Can I do a History check on this person
and what I remember of
them from cleric classes?
- Give me a History check. How
faded is Kristen right now?
- Oh, I actually think I
had like a couple drinks.
I got business on.
- Go ahead and roll History, yeah.
- 18.
- 18. You remember a Lucy Frostblade
in your first year, absolutely.
- Do I know drama around her?
If she moved or if she did die?
- On an 18, you would know that-
listen, it's an adventurer school.
They have in memoriam
sections in the yearbook.
- Oh, we should've brought
the whole yearbook.
- Okay, we should've. Yeah,
f*ck, we should've brought-
- We can just go back and
get it. We don't have to-
- All right, I sprint up and I rip out
the in memoriam page and I sprint back.
- Yeah, sprint back. Is
Lucy's name on there?
Because the most important thing
is that in that interaction-
- [Siobhan] There's so
many kids on this page.
- I sussed out that
Ivy went, "You and me,"
kind of like a, "Oh,
are we doing this now?"
I don't know if it was romantic.
I don't know if it was like,
"Hey, let's meet up and go do something."
I don't know, but she doesn't
think that Lucy's dead.
- But she could also just be mad,
thinking that someone's
impersonating Lucy.
- I think she fell for it at first,
and I probably fumbled it after.
- Can I ask a question?
- Yeah.
- Looking at this group,
you're telling me Kipperlilly
didn't come to this party?
- f*ck.
- She's definitely here.
- I've got my invisibility sight on!
I can see her, if I'm
within 10 feet of her.
- I do seem to have ways of
seduction with the one, Ivy,
that maybe I could, you know-
- Yeah, can we dispatch you?
- Work my magic.
- Can we dispatch you
for a romantic quest?
- Can I check the in memoriam?
- You look at the in memoriam.
You went up and grabbed your
freshman yearbook, right?
- Yeah, and I ripped out
in memoriam pages from it.
- [Murph] Could we grab
the sophomore one as well?
- Can I run up and rip out-
- Stop ripping my books!
- The in memoriam for the
sophomore year as well, yeah.
- Can I run up and find
"Catcher in the Rye"
and just rip out the first page?
'Cause I wanna start reading it.
- I'm gonna say, who
goes up to Fabian's room?
Kristen, Riz.
- Why is everyone...
I'm coming to my room.
- Everyone goes to Fabian's.
You see, as you're all
going to Fabian's room,
you see Ragh comes over and says,
"Kristen, party's going awesome.
When you get a sec,
Tracker's, like, blowing up my phone."
- Oh, totally.
I am compartmentalizing in
a way that makes me think
I might be doing this
for the rest of my life.
- Do you need me to
disguise myself as you?
- Yeah, please, would you talk to Tracker?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- You see he says, "She
wanted to have a conversation,
but if you don't wanna have
a conversation, she just-"
- No, I actually probably need
to have a conversation with her, honestly.
I tell him all about Cassandra,
all the stuff that went
down and how awful it is.
- Ragh gives you the biggest
hug for a long, long time.
- I'm crying so hard and I'm going,
and, like, just the campaign, man.
It's also really hard.
- Yeah, I'm sure.
Yeah, that's what it
is. It's the campaign.
- Yeah, you know, I just
gotta focus on one win,
and it kinda seems like
maybe this is the one win.
- Hey, hoot growl, baby.
Owlbears always win.
- You smell so bad.
- Why?
- That might be Fabian's clothing.
- I barfed and I was wrestling
for like an hour, yeah.
- [Ally] You barfed
and you were wrestling.
- Yeah, good call, good
call. I'm gonna shower.
Fabe, where can I shower here?
- There's three bathrooms
on the second floor,
there's two on the fourth.
- If you wanna read something,
why don't you take this?
- Stop, stop!
That was signed by J. D. Salinger!
- For those that go up to Fabian's room,
go ahead and give me
an Investigation check.
- Cool, I also wanna, now
that we're talking about,
that Kipperlilly may have
been there, I also wanna see,
not only do I wanna look
for a sophomore yearbook...
Did we already do that?
- We're about to do that.
- We're gonna get a sophomore yearbook.
I also wanna see if it
looks like anyone else
has been in here looking for something.
- Oh!
- You guys want some cover?
Boys! [claps] Play Happy Birthday!
♪ Oh, it's a happy birthday ♪
- So we can work while they sing.
- I just play bass under them.
- [Brennan] You see the pirates
start to move their hips a little bit.
They're like, "All right!"
- Oh, so now you can play something else?
- Well, it's a real
musician, isn't it? Isn't it?
- All right, all right.
- We don't have to be nice,
we just have to play the song.
- Okay!
- I rolled a natural one,
but now that I'm level 11,
I have Reliable Talent,
so if I'm proficient,
a roll of 9 or lower is a
- The best Murph power of all time.
You literally can't roll low.
So what's the Investigation score?
- 21.
- Cannot roll lower than 21 Investigation.
- So sick.
- You move through.
I think on a 21 Investigation,
your investigation is good enough to know
that it's possible that an
extremely talented rogue
could've been here and you wouldn't know.
But what you do find is
the sophomore yearbook.
- Okay.
- There is no indication
of Lucy Frostblade.
However, on that 21 Investigation,
you look a little bit
deeper and find a slip
fallen out in this small bookshelf area.
You see that there was a loose paper slip
mentioning Lucy Frostblade
as added to the in memoriam
that was added after
the books went to print.
So literally, it narrows it
down to this very specific
window of time because they
added her to the in memoriam.
- So, end of sophomore year.
- The end of sophomore year.
- She died, but when I saw Ivy,
Ivy didn't look like,
"Oh my god, a ghost!"
She looked like-
- Maybe she died in a way
that kinda messed them up.
- Maybe they faked some kind of-
- Oh yeah, maybe.
- Maybe she knew immediately.
- That's possible, but
it's also possible that-
- I don't think so, because
he didn't have me roll.
I roll with advantage to deceive someone,
'cause I have a feat that's
all about disguising myself.
- Maybe she has Truesight
or something, though.
- Could be.
- Well, you guys let me know
when you want me to work my magic.
- I think now would be, yeah.
- Kristen, you become
aware that there is someone
approaching the door as you're
having this conversation.
You hear footsteps out in the hall.
- Okay.
- Kristen, get under the clothes!
- I get under the clothes.
- Why are we hiding Kristen?
- I don't know.
- I go, "Someone's coming!"
and then you all cover me in clothes.
- Why did we need to hide Kristen?
- [Brennan] You hide Kristen.
- My president!
- You see Ivy appears in the doorway.
- Oh, hey.
- Oh.
- Sorry, we were doing a
bunch of snuff up here.
- Got any for me?
[Lou chuckles sultrily]
- Uh, um, yes. If you'd like some.
- Can I elbow the singing pirates?
Hey, do you have any snuff?
- What, you looking to score some?
- Yeah, we need it right now.
- All right.
You see he takes out a crystal,
puts a little Square chip in it and says,
"All right, that'll be 10 gold."
- 10 gold?
- Do I have money?
- Wow, that's such a markup.
- I don't think I have money.
f*ck, dude!
- Here, just run my card.
We've been buying it off these guys.
- Hands it out to you.
- We should go to a store.
- You see Ivy looks out
and says, "k*ller party."
- Yeah.
- Where's Madame President Elect?
- She was just here,
but she had to go deal
with some constituents
who had some concerns
about safety measures
at the steel factory.
You know, just all in a
day's work for a president.
- Junior class president.
- Very understandable.
- She's had a couple
people going after her, so.
- Yeah.
- What's going on with you?
- I was coming up looking
for the snuff powder.
- Ha ha. Well, you found it.
Here.
- You see that she takes a little bit
and is slowly undoing it,
but you see she looks over at
you, Fig, and smiles, says,
"Love those leggings, like fishnet."
- Yeah.
I don't know if you remember
Doreen, the lunch lady.
- The lunch lady from our freshman year.
I believe you k*lled her.
- Yeah, actually, on our first day,
so it's wild that you remember her.
- It was pretty memorable. It
was my first day of school.
Someone k*lled the lunch
lady with her ladle.
- It was pretty memorable for me as well.
- Yeah.
- I'm getting really
maudlin in the corner.
I'm just fully useless. I
can't believe I k*lled her.
- I just mentioned
because you've got, like,
there's a couple threads broken
like you maybe scuffed your knees.
Are you much of a skateboarder?
- Yeah, I'm a skateboarder.
Do you skateboard?
- No. There's all these
dwarven kids that are doing it.
Ever since they reopened the
mithral factory, it's like...
Or the mithral co-op, I should say.
The whole town's covered
with dwarven skaters,
grinding on rails, jumping off the curb.
- We love those kids.
- Yeah, it's a utopia.
- I guess so.
- They're really cool.
- I Message everyone and go,
is there a reason I'm still hiding?
- I don't think so.
- I Message you back.
I have no idea why you hid.
- I Message you back and I say
you could make a really campy entrance.
- I get out of the clothes and
I go... [yawns theatrically]
- Oh!
- [Lou] Madame President!
- Oh, a quick power nap at
your campaign announcement.
- Sorry, guys. I was so tired
and like a little bit bored.
Cool party, right?
- You see, walking into the doorway-
it looks like it's one of
those things where the host
and other kids go to a room
at a party they are throwing,
it has a gravitational pull to it.
So you see some other
steps come up, and Mazey,
the current class president, senior,
sort of looks in the doorway and says,
"Oh, a little private hang?
Some cool air in here?"
- Yeah, you know, I'd love
to pick your brain sometime,
if we could do a power lunch at school.
- Not allowed to do favoritism,
but during office hours,
school hours, yeah, let's do it.
- I'd love that. I'd love that.
- We're doing snuff.
- Oh.
- Pirate snuff, if you'd like to hit it.
- You know, I'm good.
- All right.
- Thank you, but-
- All good.
- Hey, I was wondering,
'cause I was noticing
there was a games closet
and there's Twister and stuff.
- Yeah.
- Wanna break out some Twister?
You see Ivy, standing next to Mazey, goes,
"Twister? What, are we in middle school?"
And you watch Mazey get very hurt.
You realize Mazey is very talented
and has cool stuff going on,
but she is involved in student government.
She's a good egg.
- Hey, Mazey. I would
f*cking love to play Twister.
- Mazey smiles at you,
looking very heartened.
Go ahead and give me Intimidation
directed at Ivy for that.
- Ooh, nice. I'll give you
the Help action, if I can.
- Hell yeah.
[die rolling]
- Gonna need that.
[die rolling]
- 17, hell yeah.
Ivy purses her lips and
just sort of smiles at you
and says, "Bit chilly."
- That's the ice muffets.
- [Brennan] I love drunk Adaine
so much! The ice muffets.
- I made it really cold in here.
- Can you get them out of here?
- She looks you and says-
- I think I don't respond.
I think I just wanna go down
and use all of my bardic energy
to get a rowdy game of Twister going.
I turn it into drinking
Twister. I emcee it.
I have rivalries. I host it
like a pro wrestling match.
- As you get down to get
the Twister party started,
you see Ivy looks at Mazey
and doesn't say anything,
'cause of that Intimidation roll,
but she looks over and says,
"Some snuff, Master Seacaster."
And you see Mazey looks
over at you and says,
"Yeah, Twister, there's a cool variant
where there's some break dancing moves,
if you wanted to come play."
- [Murph] That's awesome.
- Oh.
- Ivy sort of smiles.
- There's actually a huge
line. You don't need to come.
It's already really popular.
- Yeah, I'm gonna stay
up here and do snuff.
- Yeah.
- Sadly, Twister is not my style.
- Ivy grins and says, "Bye bye, Macy."
And you see Mazey-
anyone in the room can
make an Insight check.
- I don't even want to.
- What a bad 19.
- 18.
- 25.
- 22.
- Anyone who got a 20-
- I got a dirty 20.
- [Siobhan] So drunk.
- I think all of Fabian's friends
see Fabian's decision for what it is.
- I'll go play Twister.
- I'll also go play Twister.
- You see Mazey turns
around and has a deep sigh,
and she looks and says,
[sighs heavily]
"Let's go!"
And you see that she
picks you up and puts you
up on her giant shoulder.
- Yeah!
- I mouth to Fig, use
this! Be in with the prez!
- I'm not gonna do that!
- Use this!
- Kristen, fine!
- I go, follow the money!
I don't know what it means.
- Incredible.
The Twister party is f*cking legendary.
Mazey does not take shots, but transitions
to have a kind of, "All right,
taking my windbreaker off!"
That kinda-
- Yeah.
- Getting involved with other people.
Everyone goes and jumps in
the tartar sauce in the pool.
You see that it's very fun and rowdy.
There's a variant where you can avoid
certain things by doing dance moves.
At one point, she has to get
a foot to an impossible place
and leaps up and does this
incredible acrobatic flip
into a spot to land in the right place.
- Standing ovation.
- As the party winds down
at the end of the night,
you see Mazey walks over
to you, Fig, specifically,
and is like,
"You f*cking rule."
- Oh, thanks.
You know who's gonna rule?
[Murph sobs]
- Fig, you don't have to.
Fig, you don't have to.
- I Message Fig and go, do it.
No, I'm kidding, I don't
know what's happening.
- With tears in my eyes.
Kristen Applebees.
- Yeah, that's awesome.
- With tears!
- Gorgug's behind Mazey, weeping.
- You've had a big day.
I feel like you had a big day.
I'm gonna head out.
I'll probably listen to "Burn
Towns Get Money" like 10 times
like I always do on the way home.
- Whoa, awesome.
- Yeah.
- I'm working on a new album.
- Oh, sick. I love it.
- Thinking of self producing.
- Sick, yeah. f*ck the record labels.
- f*ck the record labels.
- Yeah, I'm amazed we haven't
talked about bard stuff before
but it's hard to think- you know,
I wanna be in music videos,
but I wanna do avant garde stuff,
but my family sort of wants me to...
It's hard to make money doing that.
- I have a question.
- Yeah?
- I'm kind of going
through a personal crisis.
- Yeah?
- As a bard,
do you feel like the
cultivation of your craft
is where your power comes from?
Commitment to your craft?
- I always felt like the
fundamental substance
of the universe is creation.
None of this makes any sense,
when you really break it down.
It's like, none of this had
to happen, but it's beautiful,
and art is the definition of,
"this didn't have to
happen, but it's beautiful."
So I think the reason bard magic works
is it's so impractical
and it's so wonderful,
it resonates with the
universe 'cause the universe
is consciousness or whatever
playing with itself.
- I think I hear you and I love that,
and I love that that- it's
like you talk about creation,
but if I'm thinking about,
what is my authentic impetus,
it's probably destruction.
- Hey, the energies
that formed the universe
were inherently destructive.
Destruction and creation,
that's the beautiful cycle.
Max Durden shows up, whose
eyes are bloodshot red,
and he goes, "[slurring]
talk about philosophy?"
- I'm just trying to decide
if I wanna be a bard anymore.
- Yeah.
- I think I want-
I feel like the universe created itself
to better understand itself.
- Max! Hey!
- Everyone deserves a
Gorgug in their corner.
- [Brennan] Everyone deserves a Gorgug.
As the party winds down,
Mazey gives Fig a big hug before the end.
Fabian, you and Ivy have some lovely-
- I'm still up there.
- [Brennan] Kristen, you stay in the room?
- I third wheel as long as possible.
- It's just the three of us.
- Kristen, I think there's
some people downstairs
that are wondering
if you're gonna make
a speech or something.
- I think you're right.
I bet everyone wants to know
about all my campaign promises.
Have you heard them yet?
- Yes!
- Or are you probably
voting with Kipperlilly?
- Copper-
- You know, got to have
that party loyalty.
But it's lovely to see the alternatives.
- Yeah? Well, that's
honestly very heartening.
- Cool, you could maybe
tell Ivy tomorrow at school.
- Yeah.
- Or I guess it's Saturday,
so maybe on Monday.
- Yeah, so I can't do it tomorrow.
Do you wanna hear some
of my talking points?
Actually, I'm not trying to-
- You see that Oisin knocks
on the door, wanders in.
Hello. Ah!
- Hey, what's up?
- How's it going?
- Good.
- Ivy, we gotta roll.
Kipperlilly's calling.
And you see that Ivy says, [sighs]
"What a pity," and
wanders out after Oisin.
- Kristen, what the f*ck?
- I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
- What the f*ck, Kristen?
Kristen, didn't you see how
mean I was to that other person?
And for what? I thought you
were gonna go play Twister!
- You've ruined your
relationship with her.
We all watched you be a social
coward, Fabian. I'm so sorry.
- Why did you stay? You
understood my sacrifice!
- I just wanted to hear how
she's running her campaign.
I thought we could get
a little information
out of her friends.
I'm sorry. All right, look, I owe you one.
I give you a really complicated handshake.
I owe you one. No, and then we go up.
- Ow, my hand!
- I'm wearing so many rings.
I'm trying to look like an everywoman.
- As the party is winding down-
as the party is winding down,
you see Max Durden says,
"See you guys at practice.
By the way, I think we broke
something in the basement."
- What?
- Sorry. Bye.
- Seems fine, probably.
- I'm sure it's fine.
You know, I've still got
that wax from freshman year.
- I have Mending. I can help.
- Oh, perfect. Do you
wanna run down and just-
- Yeah.
- We'll take a look at it real quick.
- This is gonna be more
than a Mending cantrip.
There is an enormous thing in the basement
that is this massive
arcano-tech construction
that looks like it was bought.
Fabian, the basement is
filled with gadgetry and tech.
When your dad moved to Solace
with all of its higher tech stuff,
when he took the general
amnesty to move here,
he just bought tons of sh*t
'cause he heard it was cool,
and it's just sitting in boxes.
You see that there is this thing
that apparently got shattered,
there was some roughhousing down here,
and you see on the side of the box
it says, "Cloud Rider Engine."
- Cloud Rider Engine,
weird. Can I open it?
- Yeah, it's partially open.
The machine has been knocked over
and some sh*t's broken inside it.
- Can I make, I don't know-
- Give me a tinker's tools check.
Intelligence plus proficiency.
[die rolling]
- That's a 24.
- Nice.
- This is an engine that,
in accompaniment with other work
that needs to happen on a ship,
you think makes a ship capable
of a form of sky travel.
Not of pure flight,
but of riding on clouds.
- This is just in your basement?
- Yeah, there's a bunch of this sh*t
my dad bought when he moved here.
It was for tax purposes.
He was like, "I have to spend money.
Otherwise, the government's
gonna take it."
So yeah, he just bought all this stuff.
- Okay.
- Does it look like it was broken,
or was something taken from it?
- Give me an Investigation check.
- 25.
- Ooh, you're rolling
better. Rolling better.
- Riz, it's very specific
for something to get
roughhoused with that much,
and I think you know enough
to know that gorgenfern
is not that rowdy of a drug.
- Yeah.
- Max Durden is up to something.
- This was an intentional-
- What?
- Do you want me to go trail Max Durden?
- Let's go.
- Okay, I'm gonna go trail Max Durden.
- You go trail Max? Cool.
Let me roll a little Luck check
just to see if Max is still around.
Four, looks like Max got
picked up by his brother
and headed out.
- Okay.
- I feel like someone just
pushed him into the machine,
'cause he's so blazed.
- Who was he down there with?
Do you have security cameras?
- Does my dad have security cameras?
- Yeah. If you run it back,
you see there's people down there.
There's a bunch of kids down there.
You don't see any of the Rat Grinders.
- Mm-hm.
- The kids are down there,
they're smoking, they're talking,
and after a certain point,
you see a bunch of ice mephits
fly in and start ginning up the kids.
Start getting the kids
ginned up and rowdy,
and then they start wrestling.
The ice mephits are nut tapping
people and blowing frost
on their faces, just
getting people riled up.
- This would be very, very convenient
if you're a conjuration wizard
and you wanted to imitate someone else.
- Yes, can we-
- Can we tell if they're mine?
- Give me an Arcana check.
Through a security camera...
[die rolling]
- 13.
- Unfortunately, as far as you can tell,
these are your ice mephits.
- f*ck, my bad, man. My bad.
- It's fine.
- They just get everyone excited,
and then someone accidentally-
- You see a couple of the ice mephits
join in to tip the box over.
Give me an Investigation check
as you're watching the
box get tipped over.
Call it a DC 25.
[dice rattling]
- Just a 21.
- You're looking at it.
Mephits, a couple of wrestling
kids in the basement.
Box goes over.
Something.
- Okay, something that helps you fly.
- Fabian, you need to
stay on this Ivy beat.
- All right.
- Are you willing to do that?
- Yeah. Yeah, totally.
- Did they steal it for
their adventuring party?
- You might have to go
out on dates with her.
- I'll do that. Yeah, I'm down.
- Are they gonna use it?
- Wait a second. All of the...
Everyone...
This has not anything to do
with the little machine that was stolen,
but people from their team wanted us...
Max, who was acting strange,
everyone wanted us to do drugs.
Is it possible they're trying to get us
kicked out of our various clubs?
- I think Kipperlilly was here.
- Trying to get us kicked out.
- Oh!
- [Zac] Trying to get a
picture of us taking drugs.
- Yep.
Yep.
- Are we not supposed to
take drugs? We m*rder people.
- Would we get in trouble?
- We're not allowed to take drugs?
- Maybe if you're running for office.
- Well, here's the thing.
It never would've been a problem
when Arthur Aguefort was principal.
- f*ck!
- Did any of us do drugs?
- You did!
- No, you said you were going to,
and then you were interrupted.
- Snuff is just tobacco, right?
- Yeah, snuff's, I mean-
- You never actually went down, right?
- No, I never went.
- [Siobhan] And we were drinking,
which is ill*gal.
- [Emily] You almost did.
- Oh, it's milk. It's bad baby milk.
It's mostly milk.
- As the party winds down-
Fabian, what time do you
think this party wraps up?
- Oh, the next morning.
I'm definitely trying to
entertain three people
outside on the front lawn
who just won't leave.
- Sun is coming up. Does every
Bad Kid make it to sunup?
- No!
- I try.
- Yes.
- Adaine, you're trancing.
You're just off somewhere.
- Adaine, for the first time, is sleeping.
Fully passed out, snoring on a couch.
- Snoring on a couch.
- Gorgug's legs are just
sticking out from under
a couch or something.
- I keep trying to wake Gorgug up.
Gorgug! You know more
stuff about these machines
and everything than I do.
- I know, yes.
- We need to go through every single piece
of this cloud thing.
- Absolutely.
- And see if anything's missing!
- [Zac] Absolutely.
- Fabian, you get texts
from Jawbone saying,
"Hey champ, getting worried
texts from the Thistlesprings.
Can you just take pictures
of anyone who's asleep?"
- Yes, I take a picture
of just Gorgug's leg.
Good.
- [Brennan] You see you
get a little thumbs up
and then a heart emoji from Jawbone.
Riz, you're still up talking about clues.
- I have a conspiracy board
going at Fabian's house now.
- Incredible.
- Riz!
- I'm with you and I've made
a mini board of election sh*t.
- Riz, I have a corkboard.
- No, it's fine.
- You don't have to do this on the wall.
- I'm ripping up Fabian's clothing.
- Stop!
I have yarn! I have all these things!
- There's a massive firbolg whose eyes
take up all of her spectacles, huge eyes,
and she says, "And I just want you to know
you can count on the Apiarist Society
to support President Applebees."
- That's great.
- Whoa, like bees?
- Yeah, we keep bees.
- Holy sh*t, can I have a hive?
- You wanna join the Apiarist Society?
- Yeah, I do! I do!
- Join us, yeah!
- Great, well, it looks
great on a college résumé.
It's an extracurricular.
- How many of you are there?
- What?
- How many of you are there?
- Well, Ms. Faeth will make three.
- And me!
Wait, I'm-
- You're number two.
- The whole club's here, huh?
- This is such a good group!
Literally wielding a weapon,
and no one wants to be in this club?
- Fig Faeth, Riz Gukgak,
and Gertie Bladeshield.
- All right, Gertie
Bladeshield. Let's do this.
- Does everyone get a piece of the hive?
- Well, it's not so
much about getting bees
as it is tending to and caring for bees.
- How much honey do you get?
- Also, we are gonna
take the college credit.
It's not about the honey, okay?
- Do we get honey? Is there
honey? I'll join for honey.
- There will be honey!
- It's only about the honey.
- No, no, no!
- I'm not gonna lie-
- Have you ever had fresh
honey? It's incredible.
- Wait, is this number
four for the apiarists?
- Is there honey? Fresh honey?
- Five.
- Five?
- You have a president
coming to your club.
- Oh my god!
- Gorgug starts to wake up.
Is it local honey or what?
- Yeah, we do it in the forest.
- It will solve your allergies.
- You all get a piece
of the hive if you join.
- Again, it's not getting
a piece of the hive.
- Orange blossom, clove?
- We've just got to get them f*cking
and make some more queens.
- Yeah, you're right.
- We each get a queen,
we each have a hive.
- Oh, if we cut up the hive,
each queen might find one.
- Well, if you come to
the Apiarist Society,
we'd be more than happy to run
you through hive maintenance.
- You know, it's not easy being the queen.
Sometimes you can get
rejected, and they m*rder you.
- Oh.
- It's so sad.
- It's really sad.
- It's so sad.
- Well, very excited, and
again, it'll be exciting.
Bee care and maintenance is a huge...
My whole junior year at
the adventuring academy
is gonna be mainly dedicated
to the care of bees.
- Cool, well, we're
excited to get that honey.
- Yeah, I'm excited to get my piece.
- We're excited to help
the bees, in general.
Be part of the club and get it on our-
- Can we put a big ribbon around the hive
and I can cut it with some scissors?
- The hive or the ribbon?
- Oh no, just the ribbon.
- Let's go to one meeting, okay?
Let's just go to the one, right?
- We'll go to one meeting.
- You see Gertie leaves,
looking really shaken and disturbed.
- I pat Gertie's back and I've
stuck a sticker right here
that says, "It's always
happy hour at Applebees."
- Gertie is already voting for you!
- You see, as she turns around
with the sticker on her,
she says, "And hey, I made
this for you, by the way."
And you see it is a little bumblebee,
but its little body is
in the shape of an apple
with a little stem coming
out of the top of its back.
So it's a little black and yellow striped-
- This is great.
- Oh, thank you.
- Is it alive?
- Oh my god, this is so cool.
- It's just a little
toy. It's a little thing.
- Oh, thank god.
- But if you unscrew it,
and you see that she takes,
it's almost like a little makeup jar thing
where it has a flush lid
that you can unscrew,
and you see there's a little
glass jar of honey inside.
- Oh my god! I eat some.
- So we don't even need to join,
'cause the honey's already here.
- [Brennan] There you go,
and a benefit of honey is-
- Oh, that's not that good.
- [Murph] Can I do an
Insight check for a second?
- Hey, f*ck you, man!
- What?
- I don't give a sh*t whose kid you are!
- Gertie! Gertie!
- I give her the Help action.
- Gertie, tell him!
- She says, "Get ready for Bladeshield!"
- What the hell?
- Stinger, come to me!
- Gertie, Gertie, Gertie!
- No!
- I give her the Help action.
- Roll initiative.
- I give her the Help action.
- It's not that good!
- Her initiative is 22.
- 14.
- [Brennan] She's gonna go to disarm you.
- [Ally] She beats the sh*t out of you.
- Give me an opposed Athletics check.
- [Murph] Wait!
- Can I Hex Fabian so he has disadvantage?
- Disadvantage? Yes, you can.
- I got-
- Disadvantage.
- All right, I got a 20.
- Okay, you resist being
disarmed. It is your turn.
- Yes, okay. I'm gonna trip attack.
- [Brennan] Okay.
[die rolling]
- Does a 27 hit?
- 27 hits.
- Silvery Barbs.
Like a bee's barbs!
- That's better. Yeah,
that's better, so 28.
- I give advantage to Gertie.
- I cast Heroism on Gertie.
- 17.
DC 17 check to resist the trip.
- She resists the trip.
- Okay.
- I bonus action cast Shield of Faith.
Her AC goes up by two.
- She resists the trip,
but you do, thwack,
she has to step back from it.
- Yes.
- As she does, you see
she says, "I'm leaving."
As she walks out, Fabian,
you get a blip on your phone.
Nemesis alert. New nemesis detected.
- Dammit.
- What is everyone doing?
- It's so good!
- We're falling into such easy traps!
- It's so good.
- I've had better honey.
- There's a list that says
Gertie Bladeshield and Chungledown Bim.
- Okay, we have just learned
that Gertie is very forward
when she's angry at someone
and has just made you an enemy,
but there was a possibility that Gertie
could have been someone
sent to do something to us,
and we just ate the honey!
We just ate it!
- Oh f*ck.
- We need to be more careful!
- Can I do an Insight check?
- We got people that are trying
to get us kicked out of school!
- You're right, you're right.
Why did it come in a
special hand-whittled thing?
- No, but that's good! Gertie seemed fine!
- Gertie seemed fine.
Can I do an Insight check
on the honey? Is it bad?
- If we get the bees on our
side, we'll be unstoppable.
They're everywhere.
- Nat one.
- I don't even know if we're
invited to the bee club.
- This honey's so good.
Even if it's poison, it's just so good.
- Let me get you some
real honey, all right?
Let me get you some good honey.
- Back off!
- Okay!
- You don't know where
anything in your house is,
except the milk.
- Cathilda had better honey.
It's somewhere in here.
- It's probably just got more sugar.
- Probably.
- Oh, sorry.
- Apple bee.
- Yeah, exactly.
- We need to partner with Gertie.
- Kristen, as your face
is covered in honey,
you feel your crystal starts ringing.
It's an unknown number.
- Okay. Hello?
You've reached presidential
candidate Kristen Applebees.
- Hey, Kristen.
- Hey, Track. Tracky?
- Hey, I'm really sorry to call.
Ragh texted, and
I just wanted to check in,
and I sort of promised somebody
that I would sort of have
an answer today, so...
- Oh, I excuse myself and
I just talk on the phone.
Okay, what's up? What kinda
answer are you looking for?
- So, there's someone here in Fallinel
who I am spending time
with who has requested
that I be public
about how we feel about each other,
and I've said no for
a long time because...
And here, you hear a pause
that you can read into
with an Insight check, if you want.
- Yes.
[die rolling]
So good.
That is a 27.
- On a 27, she is pausing
to give the reason
why she has not declared
this relationship publicly.
The real reason, she thinks,
would hurt your feelings,
so she's not saying it.
She says, "And I told her
that we should delay because,"
pause, "you know, I just
wanted to be respectful
in terms of the time window,
in terms of everything else."
And this is what you
know is maybe not a lie,
but not the deep truth.
So the answer doesn't have to be yes,
I just promised that I'd
give her an answer today.
The answer can be no, if
you're not comfortable.
But if the answer is no,
there probably is an amount of time
where it will become
necessary for me to, like...
If there's a window that
you feel is respectful
for me to not say publicly
that I'm with somebody-
- Oh, you're asking for my permission?
- I don't wanna hurt you.
- Oh.
Well, honestly, you're catching
me at a really hard time.
Cassandra shattered into a million pieces
after choking on a shrimp, so...
- I don't think the shrimp
was that big a deal.
- Mostly she just choked on a shrimp.
Actually, we were really up.
We were about to win everything.
And so I don't know if I'm in
a, to be completely honest,
a mental headspace to
answer your question.
But that doesn't mean that
you even need my permission.
We're broken up.
- So you don't want me to,
but you're saying I don't
need your permission.
- Yeah, I'm just saying, I got
a lot on my plate right now,
so I'm not really in a
mental state to be like,
"I am so happy for you,"
the way that maybe I would like to be.
I just am like, you know.
- Yeah, I wanna make...
Well, I'm really sorry, and
I'm sorry that Cassandra is-
- Is f*cking dead, and I saw
Yes!, and it was rotting,
and I banished it before
I could ask it a question
'cause I'm a f*cking idiot.
- Can you even cast spells right now?
- No.
- What's gonna happen
with you and Aguefort?
- I'm gonna be president, b*tch.
[players snickering]
- There is a long silence.
A long silence.
- Kristen really just
gassed herself up, actually.
She's standing up on a couch on the phone.
- Get down! Get down off the couch!
- [Zac] All of us are just watching you.
- You're doing really good.
- I'm kinda holding my hand like Napoleon.
Is this how Napoleon did it?
- Kristen, get down.
- Sorry, I have a lot of adrenaline
coursing through my veins.
- Yeah, that's sorta playful
in a way that I'm not feeling right now.
- Ooh!
I'm sorry.
Yeah, I was completely honest,
I'm having an awful night.
And so tonight's not really
the night to give you
a really honest answer
about our relationship.
- Great, okay.
- Is that all you wanted to ask?
If you could post about your girlfriend?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- I think you should just do it,
and I'll figure out a way
with the tools that I have,
which are throwing
myself into this campaign
and talking to Jawbone
as much as possible.
- Okay.
Well-
- Can I ask you a question?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Your church is thriving.
You're doing so good.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- And mine is really, really bad.
So bad.
How did you pick the moon,
and do you ever think about just
dropping it and starting a whole new thing
that you kinda made up yourself?
- Look, there were a lot of things
about how you chose to be a cleric
that I wouldn't have said
while we were together,
because we were together and
I wanted to be supportive.
And I'm not gonna say them
now, when you're really low.
But probably some of the
stuff you need to hear
is gonna be not that fun to hear.
Yeah, my church is thriving,
and I've never thought
about abandoning Galicaea.
We're changing the nature
of how people relate to this goddess,
and if I didn't do it,
she would be the version
you saw in the nightmare forest forever.
She deserves people that understand her
as she once was and as she
can be again. And frankly,
it's thriving now, but it
wasn't four months ago.
There were hard, hard parts
and there's still a
long f*cking way to go.
And frankly, Kristen,
I don't think you've
ever dealt with Helio.
You were like, yeah, this
is bullshit and I'm leaving,
but you never grappled
with the parts of it
that f*cking worked for you.
You were chosen.
All you had to do was do the sh*t
everybody always said you were gonna do.
And then you wandered
out into the wilderness
where you had to make
meaning for yourself,
and the truth is, Kristen,
as much as you "like the
idea of making meaning,"
you don't wanna do it 'cause it's hard.
- Yeah, my work ethic's been bad.
But Helio was so annoying.
- You leaving Helio was
the right choice for you,
but the issue is, you wanted
something Helio-shaped.
You wanted something where
the engine was already running
and all the machinery was there,
and you could just step in
and have a waiting flock
ready to raise their hands up and say,
"This is the chosen one."
And then you made a god
out of block letters,
and it died on the day you made it.
- Wow.
- That's true! It's f*cked up!
- Wow.
- I don't even know if you
could go find another god.
Your last two gods died!
- I... [laughs]
Okay, I just-
- You know how rare it
is for a god to die?
- Yeah.
- Your last two!
In high school!
- Maybe she had a shrimp allergy.
You don't f*cking know!
- [Brennan] You see Tracker says-
- Okay, well, yeah.
- I'm sorry, 'cause
that's really critical,
but you're carrying
stuff from the bad times
that you don't wanna say goodbye to.
You think you deserve for
it to be easy on some level.
- Yeah.
Okay, well, as one of my loose ends
I'd love to tie up nicely,
I hope your new partner
is really f*cking hot.
- All right, Kristen.
- And I hang up.
- [Brennan] So everyone's around
as Kristen's in an egg on the couch.
- Kristen, I loved what you said
about how it's not
falling, it's flying down.
- Yes, yes.
- Thank you.
- And honestly, I thought that was
a pretty solid dunk
last line of being like,
"You can have a hot
girlfriend, I don't care."
I thought that was pretty, like-
- Okay, yeah, Riz, you're the
only one who's honest with me.
As my campaign manager, was that good?
- No, I mean-
- You started to say no.
- No, it's...
I think we all need
time, right? We all need-
- Okay, before we take time, Kristen,
you're a cleric with an
Instagram promoting a god,
and then someone suddenly
wants to put their face
in your platform with
which you gather followers?
Doesn't that feel like
someone's making a power grab?
Who's this person that she's seeing?
- Can I go online and see if
she's already posted the thing?
- [Brennan] A brand new post,
up within a minute of you hanging up.
- So she'd already had it written out.
- Already written out.
- Saved to drafts, all right.
- "Princess Naradriel of Fallinel
is such a meaningful addition
to our family here at Wolfsong.
As the scion of this house of elves..."
Give me a History check, Adaine.
[die rolling]
- That is a 21.
- Naradriel's family comes from
a family of moon goddess clerics
within the high elf culture of Fallinel.
- Oh, that Naradriel.
Have I met her? Do I know her?
- Yeah, I think you know her.
- She sucks. You're so
much better than her.
You remember those dancing teens?
The horny dancing teens in the wood?
- That was her?
- I think she was probably
one of them, yeah.
f*ck, did she meet her in
Fallinel when we were there?
[Siobhan and Ally gasp]
- I can't think about overlap.
- I am so sorry.
- I can't think about overlap.
- I'm so sorry.
'Cause why would she even ask you?
- [Ally] There's at
least emotional overlap.
- Why would she even ask
you if it's okay to post?
- We shouldn't jump to conclusions.
- [Siobhan] Why would
people be questioning?
- Do I recognize this person?
- Let's roll a Luck check
in front of the board.
You want a high number.
[die rolling]
It's a six. You feel like the
face is a little bit familiar.
- Actually, you know, I
have a really good idea,
and it's not just 'cause I'm still drunk,
but I think that this will fix everything
and all of Fabian's problems, also.
- Oh, sick.
- I'm gonna ritual cast Unseen Servant
and I'm gonna tell it to
make us breakfast sandwiches.
- Can we have sriracha mayo
and pepperjack? - A la mode?
- And have them a la mode.
- And can you have it find
the honey from the Feywild?
You guys are gonna understand,
that honey was bad.
- I'm developing a dairy
allergy but I don't care.
- I'm wondering if
you've had too much milk.
- What? No such thing.
- My stomach hasn't been right.
- The Unseen Servants are basically just
little gusts of wind, so a
salad bowl covered in ketchup,
ripped up bread, and half
cooked eggs and bacon-
- The eggs aren't even cooked.
- It's just basically
like a ketchup, bread,
eggs, bacon salad.
- Sure.
- I cast Fireball on it just to make sure,
just to sterilize it.
- Over-hard, I guess I'll
just eat these separately.
- It did melt the ice cream a little bit.
- So you guys partied all
night, but you also said
that you would go get lunch
with Lydia Barkrock today.
- Oh f*ck.
- Incredible.
Before that ends, can I just text Tracker?
Tough but fair, have a great life.
[Lou laughing hysterically]
- Tough but fair, have a great life.
You get a text back in
a second that just says,
"I only know one cleric
that restored a god,
and I only know one cleric
that brought herself back from the dead.
Now comes the part where you
just gotta do the uncool sh*t."
And there's a heart emoji.
- That's really nice.
Okay.
- Can I text Aelwyn?
Hey, do you know what's up
with that girl Naradriel?
And then in a separate text,
also, remember that kid Percival?
He made himself hot, LOL.
And then another text, I'm so
sorry, it's 5 AM. Are you up?
- You see you get a text
back that just says,
"Working, will call in five."
- At five AM?
- On a Saturday.
- On a Saturday?
- You get a little winky face emoji.
- Okay, I'm not gonna question that.
What's the teacher doing?
- We gotta do lunch.
- I also think that we
have to be really careful
going forward, because Kipperlilly's team
is trying to get us kicked out
of school or get us to flunk.
- Okay.
- I think we need to find out
what happened to Lucy Frostblade,
if Lucy actually died.
But I do know that you switch to pass-fail
if somebody from your team dies.
- Right, did they need
to switch to pass-fail?
- But if Kipperlilly were to-
- [Siobhan] But it's
only for the year, right?
...become class president,
maybe she could change that rule.
Maybe they just need good grades
to get into whatever school
that they're trying to get into.
- Why does she want to be president? Yeah.
- That would be, that's why they need-
- Ivy didn't act like...
I mean, yes, it's possible that she saw,
but she would have to be able to...
It's not like I rolled a bad Deception.
- Either way, even if Lucy left the party,
if your party is incomplete,
you switch to pass-fail.
So if any of them can't afford
to go to school or something,
they can't get scholarships now.
- Give me History or Investigation.
[die rolling]
- 28.
- As you're speaking, you
remember that slip in the yearbook
and you know that yearbooks
come in time for graduation.
But you suddenly remember that
there's usually about a week
or two weeks in between
when your final exams are.
- Right.
- And there's no more things
that affect your grade after that.
Having done all that research beforehand,
the majority of the pie chart
of when Lucy could've
"disappeared" that they wouldn't
have been able to include
it in the yearbook
is actually in a period of time
where there wouldn't have been grading.
It would've been after finals.
- So if you start a new year,
you can have a different
adventuring party?
- Yes, basically you can't swap in ringers
in the middle of your school year.
- But it makes sense that
they would want to bring in
a ringer like our not bad baby, Buddy,
who is the backup team
chosen one of Helio.
They see a chance to bring
him in, you k*ll Lucy.
- 'Cause Lucy Frostblade, I'm almost like,
was she not healing-focused enough?
- It's not listed in the yearbook,
but finding out what domain
she was associated with-
- Me, I'm thinking w*r domain
when I hear Frostblade.
- Right, and if he's Helio,
he's a light domain cleric.
- We shouldn't be prejudiced like that.
- Yolanda would've taught
Lucy, so your cleric teacher-
- Okay, great.
- Your cleric teacher
would've taught Lucy.
You guys have the egg slurry.
And then Ragh wanders out,
and you can see that he's
scraping butter and sweat
off his body that's been there all night.
- Were you supposed to
take a shower a while ago?
- I did.
- Really?
- Wow, did you use soap?
- f*ck.
- [Lou] Which shower did you use?
- He turns around.
comes back out and says,
"Mom's making lunch."
- Oh, right!
- Oh, great.
- Okay, yeah, we're gonna
go have lunch with your mom.
Let's go do it.
- Before we go, does anyone
else have any big sh*t
weighing on their hearts and minds?
- I think I don't wanna be a bard anymore.
- Really?
- I went to warlock class,
and it just clicked.
- Dang, okay.
- It clicked.
- That's cool.
- For warlock class,
did you have to buy like
- No, we just talked about
the power of relationships,
and I just feel like that's my sh*t.
- That's so interesting to me.
- But we now are locked
in our classes, right?
- It's already been the
first week of classes, yeah.
- This sucks.
- But there are offices.
The vice principal's office is there.
If you guys wanted to
switch classes mid-year
or do other stuff, you can submit that.
It was due on the 1st of
the year, but you've seen
there's a lot of loopholes
and interesting things.
Arthur Aguefort,
over hundreds of years
of running this school,
has said a lot of contradictory
stuff, and one of his rules
is that anything he verbally
said became school canon.
- So we can pick and choose quotes of his.
- Yeah, exactly, so there's
a lot of wiggle room
if you wanna switch a class, right?
- Maybe if Kristen
becomes school president,
maybe we make some of this
stuff a little simpler
I feel like we've been
doing a lot of stuff,
some practical application of our classes,
and I feel like we haven't gotten credit
for like half the stuff we're doing.
We're having to destroy
ourselves to pass these classes.
- This is a good platform.
- Okay, yeah, right.
- And this works for everybody.
- Can you write a little
speech about this?
- [Murph] Of course.
- World saving should count
more than rat f*cking.
- That is perfectly put.
- You head to Mordred Manor. As you do so-
- Oh my god!
- [Brennan] It's so bright.
[Zac croaking]
- I'm wearing two pairs of sunglasses.
- Riz is also wearing sunglasses.
- I try and cast Dispel Magic at the sun.
- You guys get home.
As you get home, you see
Jawbone, giant cup of tea.
He's got his cardigan,
but he's got some workout
shorts and fuzzy bunny slippers.
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Oh, uh-oh!
Uh-oh, what do we got going on here?
- There's so much sugar.
- Late night study party, huh?
- A real dark night of the soul.
- You see he looks at
you and goes, "Hey now."
- I touch his neck so hard.
- Kristen got re-dumped.
- My niece can be a piece
of work. Come here, kiddo.
- She was actually kinda nice about it.
I love her.
[Brennan cringing]
- He says, "Maybe when the sun's not out,
we go on a nice little ride,
maybe get a little picnic,
PB&Js out on the grass, sunset.
- Who's this man? Who's this angel?
- Lydia comes in from the kitchen.
You see Ragh goes, "Mom!"
Comes and gives a big hug.
She looks out and says,
"All right, g*ng. Well, food's served."
You walk in, there's a huge salad bowl
of this really delicious
looking potato salad,
a couple enormous homemade pizzas.
- Oh my god.
- You see there's all this-
- Do you guys eat like this all the time?
- I love to eat pizzas and potato salad.
- You gotta carbo-load
for when you're wrestling.
- She goes over to the oven, opens it up,
and there's a tray of
with fresh basil on them.
"How many chicken parms?"
- We filled up on your
shitty eggs in a salad bowl?
- It wasn't my shitty eggs,
it was the Unseen Servants'.
- Fabe, how many chicken
parms do you want?
- One? I'll start with one?
- I'll do three.
- Okay, start one. Three?
- You can have three?
- I'll take a gardener's dozen.
- A gardener's dozen, you got it.
- I eat them all.
- Lydia just looks over at you and says,
"You kids need to eat.
You're all scrawny."
You see Ragh's like, "That's
what I'm f*cking saying!"
- I take a chicken parm
and put it in between
two slices of pizza.
- Hm, yum.
- You see she says, "So what's up?
Ragh texted me to let
me know that you kiddos
had some questions about the gem.
Happy to talk about it."
- Right. So we had a similar experience.
There was a god who got really angry,
and a bunch of red sort of orbs came out,
and they took people
over. And those people
became consumed with rage and
began trying to k*ll the god.
And then one of the red
orbs jumped into someone
who looked at me and
said, "Ragh Barkrock."
- She looks at her son.
You see there's a sort of
narrowing of her barbarian eyes
as she scans her son to
be like, "Doppelganger?"
You know, is there something?
Ragh's like, "What?"
She's like, "That's my boy.
Okay, who said Ragh's name?"
- Kalina.
- This is the-
- The Shadow Cat.
- The Shadow Cat, okay.
- But she's not bad now, or not not good?
- She's a familiar to
a god who's now died,
so I don't really know
what that makes her.
- She did say, "I preferred you
when you were the Nightmare
King," which is...
- After she was taken over.
- .... rough. Yeah, that's true.
- When you, and stop me
if this is too personal-
- It's all right.
- Was your personality changed
at all when you took an orb to the chest,
or was your thing different than this?
- No, I mean, it was. It was, you know?
I have a relationship
to my rage, my anger.
The fiend that is in this gem
knows my fury,
and my anger
keeps it at bay.
- Who's the fiend?
- The fiend was named Bakur.
- And you know it's still
in there? You can feel it?
- I can feel him. I'm
hurting him constantly.
- Oh, okay.
- I am battling against him constantly.
- Oh, okay. I give her the Help action.
- That's very sweet.
- I'm kinda rubbing her neck.
- Okay.
- Ah!
- What is everyone doing?
- People don't touch each
other's necks enough, really.
You hold a lot of tension there, I think.
- The god that was releasing
this rage also said,
"I thought you were dead," to
whoever is involved with this.
- Okay.
Weird.
Bakur was the right hand-
was a pit fiend, was the right hand
of a fallen god,
a dead god.
- Who? What was their name?
- We don't know, they're fallen.
They fell a long time ago.
- Do you have sort of a
playful antagonism with Bakur?
Sort of like, you know
the TV show "Luther"?
- You think you could ask him?
- You know Idris Elba and
Ruth Wilson in "Luther"?
- Oh yeah.
- Yeah, it's not exactly like Ruth Wilson.
- Stop bringing up "Luther"!
- Can you communicate with
Bakur in any capacity?
Can you intimidate Bakur
into giving you a name
or anything like that?
- I know that Bakur is not
allowed to even say the name.
- Ah.
- Listen, the sorcerer and the
cleric that I traveled with
in my party knew a lot
about this kind of stuff,
and I'm afraid that I
ended up being the one
who had to tie up all the loose ends,
but it was not my bag, necessarily.
- What was the cleric's name?
- Well...
And here, all the talk
about being personal,
you see that she gets emotional.
She says,
"Cormyr and Rana were my two...
Were my friends.
Rana was a cleric of Osmir,
who's a god of magic and secrets.
Bakur could say the name of the god,
but they could only say the name
in certain instances or types of ways.
And it had to do with
the fact that gods...
There's rules against
loopholes, if that makes sense.
That's one of the things
that Bakur couldn't talk-
Because the god was dead,
Bakur can't talk about them,
right, or something like that."
- Like if Bakur was to talk about them,
then it would be resuscitating to the god?
- That's the idea, right?
- Like what happened with the-
- Yeah, the Night Yorb.
- But if the god's not dead-
- The way that Rana explained it was like,
when a god dies, the rules change
for a lot of non-mortal beings.
If mortals choose to start
worshiping them again,
that can happen. I don't know-
- Sure, they're not
necessarily dead forever.
- Well, and mortals aren't either, right?
You brought yourself back
from the dead, right?
People have come back from the dead
but, you know, it's a state of being.
This is interesting. Riz,
this feels really connected.
The thing, when you said that Cassandra
said something about, "I
thought you were dead,"
the really messed up thing
about that to me was that Bakur
was trying to bring the
god back from the dead.
That was the whole thing
we were trying to stop.
- And it was in the Red Waste?
- It was in the Red Waste,
and that's actually what
f*cked up Bakur's plan.
Cormyr told me that before he died.
The reason it didn't work
and we were able to stop him
was because he actually needed a place...
A god could only come back in a place
where a god had been born or created.
- Oh, like in the Astral Plane?
- I don't know, maybe.
But he picked a bad spot, essentially.
He thought he needed to
be on the Mortal Plane,
and I think he was like,
"God are created in Spyre all the time."
But it's way more specific.
- Sure.
- He was like, "I'll go to
Spyre and do the ritual."
- He needed to go to
the god baby hospital,
and he just did it out on the street.
- Yeah, he was like,
"Well, I'm in the same world
as the god baby hospital,"
and it was like, no,
you gotta get a little closer than that.
- What did the ritual require?
- There was a bunch of stuff.
I have some stuff stashed away,
I can go look for stuff
and go through my old-
- I think that'd be really
helpful, if you didn't mind.
- Yeah, you know what's
probably gonna be more help-
Rana and Cormyr's stuff
went to their family.
I can go talk to their family
and try to get some of their notes.
You see she looks over and says,
"Ragh, tryouts are in Bastion City, right?
We can go down there
and see Cormyr's family.
Maybe Rana's family can come down.
I'll get some stuff together.
It might take a minute, 'cause I haven't
talked to them in a long
time but, you know."
- Thank you.
- I hope-
- And these chicken parms are so good.
- [Zac] Can I get your
recipe for 36 chicken parms?
- Yeah, this is great.
- Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The trick is, the
marinara's gotta be thick.
It's gotta be really thick.
Nobody wants a wet, slimy chicken parm.
- It's saucy but crispy at the same time.
- A little bit of char on the
breadcrumbs on the outside.
You see she smiles and says,
"This is gonna be a
crazy year for you guys.
I hope you're not trying to
save the world again, are you?"
- Trying?
- No, we're just trying to
get Kristen elected president.
- That's really kind of our thing.
- [Zac] Really the only thing
we're trying to do right now.
- [Siobhan] I got a job
and now I owe them money.
- We're actually trying
to do a lot of stuff.
- Lydia smiles and says,
"I'll reach out to them
and see if they're okay meeting up, okay?"
- Thank you so much.
- Great, we appreciate it.
- With that, you guys sort
of recover that weekend,
full of chicken parms,
and we are going to move
into our downtime section.
I wanna let you guys know
about how we're gonna be running downtime.
- Okay.
- This is as you get ready
to track down the mystery,
Lucy Frostblade, the pit fiend Bakur,
the Rat Grinders, Cassandra's death,
Kalina saying Ragh
Barkrock, all of this stuff.
You guys have a lot on your plate,
and we'll be resolving those
with a series of rolls.
The first roll you make
during downtime is a DC 5,
the second one is a DC 10, and
it goes up by 5 every time,
and the various tracks
that you are rolling
are academics,
popularity-
- Oh!
- Money, extracurricular,
and relationships.
We'll go over the mechanics more,
but all you need to know is,
a lot of rolls are coming up
for you to pass grades,
work part-time jobs,
keep your relationships
and friendships intact,
stay popular, solve this
mystery, and get paid.
But if you fail any of the rolls,
you don't have to worry, because...
You can always take a stress token.
And that's all for this
episode on "Dimension 20".
Tune in next week as we get
into the thick of junior year.
- Somebody's gotta look into
the mystery around here!
- What better note to engage
in our very first downtime?
- Popularity, baby.
- I think I'll do artificer.
- Any kind of athletic
team that will take me.
- Oh my god!
- To investigate the broken Cloud Rider.
- I'm not sure Mazey could help me
with my roll on bard classes.
- Yes!
Oh my god!
- I wanna look into Bakur.
- What if I did popularity
first, for the campaign?
- Look into Lucy Frostblade.
- Go for it.
- f*ck!
- Wait!
[Zac croaks]
- This episode's off
to a rocky start, g*ng.
- What?
- Oh my god!
- Gorgug, pick it up! Pick
it up out there, Gorgug!
- First stress token.
- Wait, f*ck, I had a whole other plan.
- You could take a stress.
- I would like to make a second job check.
I'm my own toxic boss.
- I'll take one stress token.
- Stress.
- Cassandra!
- Your goddess passed?
How can you cast spells?
- [Emily] I'll take a stress.
I'm gonna take a stress.
- Yeah, Riz is going to
the old conspiracy board.
- Socially, I would like to disappear.
- Here we go, here's
our stress. Holy sh*t.
- We got this!
- [Brennan] That's D&D,
baby! We're playing the game!
- School's easy.
♪ T-T-T-Taking over, teenage rebellion ♪
♪ No more fantasizing about it ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hey, let's go ♪
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21x06 - Party Politics
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.